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The Journey (R)

LinksOcarina

The true master
Ok guys, here is Chapter 11. I did my best to clean up grammar and the like, because that is my weak point, and I discovered a few things that I changed. I hope I got them all though.

Anyway, this story is rated R (Restricted) for violence, adult language and adult situations.


Chapter 11- Old Friends


Damon wouldn't move this time. With Gabriel’s gun pointed toward his chest, he was slightly paralyzed with fear. Fortunately for him, this was nothing; compared to the escapades he was a part of in the past. His neck was red and swollen, and it felt like it was on fire from the damage that Gabriel did earlier. He fought the urge to rub it, just in case if Gabriel felt too trigger-happy and shoot him on the spot.

Gabriel was still panting hard, as he lifted himself from the ground. His face was red with rage and with pain, his pale skin slightly scaled by the hot tea he was struck with before. His eyes showed great anger in them, and they never left Damon’s gaze.

“Nice…try…buddy.” Gabriel panted, as he walked closer towards the unmoving teen.

“Why didn’t you just kill me with that before?” Asked Damon, his anger rising though his fear, his hands gripping the sides of his pants near his pokeballs.

“Lift up…. the hands or I shoot.” Gabriel ordered. Damon, not wanting to frustrate the blonde man in front of him, raised his arms and opened his fists, showing nothing nestled in between his palms.

“I’m still waiting for the answer, Gabriel.” Damon said defiantly.

“Id be quiet if I were you,” retorted the gunmen. “And if you must know, it was for my own satisfaction after what you did to me…and to us.” He spat.
“You don’t have the balls to shoot me here.” Said Damon

In a flash, Gabriel squeezed the trigger of his gun, shooting into the concrete street at Damon’s feet. Damon jumped back, totally caught off guard by Gabriel’s bravado. Around them, people began to scream and run for cover. Some were just as shocked by the display and took cover under the nearby tables outside the café. Others were furiously dialing 911 on their cell phones, trying to get the police involved before someone gets hurt.

“YOUR CRAZY, YOU KNOW THAT!” Yelled Damon.
“YOU SHOULD TALK!” Yelled back Gabriel. “YOU befriended us, YOU betrayed us. YOU nearly ruined years of hard work that we have tried to create. YOU are the one who deserves what is coming to them, regardless of the penalty I receive.”

“You won’t get away with this…you know that.”
Gabriel just laughed manically, before cocking his gun again.
“I will be released if I am caught anyway, Mr. Rhett will take care of that. Besides, you didn’t take everything we were making...”

Damon was wide eyed at this point; his heart was pounding faster in his chest as his nerves began to waver. In the distance, sirens could be heard as the police force drew closer to their location. Damon, however, was not concerned with the wailing sounds that beckoned his freedom. He was more worried about the revelation that Gabriel pronounced.

“You mean…”
“Oh yeah, there are some pokemon that even you didn’t know about.” Gabriel stated. “You don’t think Mr. Rhett would share all his secrets would you?”

“You son of a *****, you won’t get away with this still, because even if I die, you won’t find the packages in the end.” Damon said sternly. He was now trying to stall him as long as possible, at least until he could find a way to escape the range of the pistol Gabriel had on him.

“Oh really, Damon.” Gabriel said calmly. “You thinking dumping them onto some witless kids will save them. I will get them back one way or another, and I feel bad for those kids you befriended, because they trusted a spineless scoundrel like you.”
“You wouldn’t …”
“Sorry Damon, but it’s orders. Something you know nothing about since you never followed them.”

With the screeching wails of the police sirens were inching closer towards their location, Gabriel’s smile faded and became stone faced once again.

“Any last words, Damon.” Gabriel asked.

Damon couldn’t wait any longer. The police were close, but not close enough to stop him from being shot.

“I do…” he began, before dropping his left arm towards the ground.

“HANDS UP!” Gabriel shouted, but Damon defied him, and instead pushed his entire arm outwards towards the gunmen. Gabriel was shocked to see a pokeball shoot out of the sleeve of Damon’s leather jacket, right onto the ground near his feet.

“SHADOW, STOP THE GUN!” Damon shouted. In a flash of red, a large, plump purple pokemon with glowing red eyes emerged from the light. The grinning face was just as sinister as the one that was planted on Gabriel moments ago. The Gengar quickly jumped into the air as Gabriel pulled the trigger, firing right at Damon’s chest.


“Ok everyone.” Tobias said on the microphone. “Were gonna begin the final phase of today’s activities.”

Well past noon, the crowd in the Liechi gym dissipated somewhat leaving only a few dozen spectators to enjoy the four battles that loomed in the future.

“Ere’s how it’s gonna work. This will be a one on one battle with no substitutin’ involved. If you win, yer gonna get the bicep badge as a reward. If ya lose, well, good job makin it this far and I’ll hope to see ya real soon!” Tobias said.

He then turned to the four finalists, the two girls who won their matches along with Ken and Sebastian.

“The first one whose gonna battle will be Kimberly Jensen. When yer ready, well begin ok Kim.”

The young girl nodded, gripping a pokeball and took position on the left side of the rocky arena floor, while the other three trainers moved off to the side.

“This is going to be sweet!” Ken said with great enthusiasm.
“Yeah, I can’t wait.” Said Sebastian back.
“Your not nervous at all?” Ken asked.
“Well…no not really I guess…I mean like should I be?”

“You should be prepared for battle by now.” Someone said behind them. The boys turned to see Sophie’s smiling face.

“Well, I have only had one real battle before…and it ended poorly.”
“Oh come on, get some more confidence dude or you’ll never succeed in this business.”
“Damon said the same thing to me.” Sebastian said.
“And he’s right. Don’t be nervous all the time.” Sophie lectured.
“When I’m up there, I won’t be so nervous I bet. Just a bit shaky that I’m going up against a gym leader.”
“I know how you feel, dude.” Said Ken. “I’m not to worried though, I mean I’m sure well kick *** against Tobias. Plus we get to see how he battles.”
“Yeah, besides you did awesome during the tug of war match.” Ken said, patting his friend on the back.

“Well…I was surprised that I even won that…”
“But you did, and that’s what’s important right now, you got through the first hurdle, now you can finish it off if you keep positive.” Said Sophie.

Sebastian just nodded and took a deep sigh before turning and looking towards the arena floor. Tobias and Kimberly were in positions, and the battle was moments from beginning.

“Hey Sophie, where is Damon?” Sebastian asked. Sophie looked puzzled with the question, and just shrugged her shoulders.

“No clue, you would think he would be back by now.”


Damon was too afraid to look, and just kept his eyes closed when Gabriel pulled the trigger on him. He was waiting for something, the pain to hit him, the sensations of death to creep up on him, unsure of how it would feel to actually expire. He kept his eyes tightly shut; his body was tense and rigid and shaking heavily out of fear and anticipation. But it never came, the feeling of being hit with something, the feeling of death creeping up on him.

Damon opened his eyes slowly, still afraid to look. As his vision returned to the light, what he saw in front of him nearly made him jump in fear. A mere inch from his face was a small, metallic bullet, copper capped and spinning slowly in midair. On the side of him was his Gengar, it’s own crimson eyes closed and it’s stubby hand raised in front of it, struggling to control the bullet that was suspended in the air.

Gabriel was furious, his stoic face turning into an evil sneer. He didn’t even bother to fire another shot, since the Gengar would just use his psychic powers to hold the metallic bullets in mid-air. Instead, he grabbed his own pokeball on his belt and tossed in onto the ground. In a flash, a large, minted green creature became visible. It’s brilliantly colored feathers looked blinding in the sunny sky, deep red and black feathers patterned around parts of it’s body. It stood tall, spreading it’s eagle-like wings in a synchronized movement.

“Xatu attack that Gengar!” Snarled Gabriel. The bird made a low level shrill, and closed the tiny black eyes to concentrate, calming it’s mind before attacking. Damon finally moved away from the suspended bullet, breathing heavily and sweating profusely from the whole ordeal.

“Shadow, make some Haze.” Said Damon. The ghost laughed, before opening it’s gaping mouth and letting a bright purple mist seep outward. It spread around the trainers, thickening like a deep fog around the Xatu and Gabriel.

Gabriel was covering his mouth as the thick mist engulfed his senses. He couldn’t see anything, only the sounds of the closing sirens could be heard, as they became dangerously close to his location.

“Xatu, Defog this mess!” cried Gabriel. The bird pokemon, eyes still closed and barely moving, lifted it’s wings in one swift motion, and in a brilliant display masked by the mist, the bird flapped it’s wings, throwing the haze in numerous directions until it disappeared into the sunny atmosphere. Xatu finished, and jerked it’s head around, looking at nothing in the empty streets.

“****!” screamed Gabriel. “Xatu, get in the air and find them, if you see them, knock out the Gengar. I’ll be following close behind!”

The bird chirped, and lifted it’s large wings and began flapping slowly, levitating into the air, then flying high above the steel skyscrapers in search of the fleeing teen. Gabriel was not far behind, running at full speed from the café, and into the streets as the sirens drew closer.
 
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Shadow Lucario

Lone Vanguard
Another great chapter! I like how you made most of this chapter about Damon though I was sad about not finding out what Pokemon Tobias has. Anyway can not wait for the next chapter!

Shadow Lucario
 

silverdragoon X

Hit 'em hard
Hey dude, sorry about not reviewing earlier, I was on vacation with the family. These were a great three chapters and I enjoyed them throughly. All the mistakes I saw were corrected by Air Dragon. I do agree that the grammar needs some work, but you're getting there!

I personally enjoyed the Pinsir seen. I don't know if you ever watched the original Pokemon Anime or not, but it reminded me of Ash's Charizard when it first evolved; a stubborn rebel, classic. Also I have an idea about the "packages" that Damon has been instructed to care for: I think the packages are the Magby and Elekid that he gave Ken and Sebastian. I'm pretty sure this is correct because of the clues that you've given us throughout the last few chapters.

Well, that's all for me,

Silverdragoon X out
 

LinksOcarina

The true master
Thanks for the many posts, lol.

I'm not one to give away story elements, but the packages are the baby pokemon, and the increase in power is significant.

Also another little tidbit, certian pokemon have emotions and temperments as their trainers, so look out for that.

The way the story is structured is kind of like the tv show LOST. Nearly everything has a purpose so look out for that.

Next chapter is this week sometime, and show support for my fellow authors in the fanfic awards!
 

LinksOcarina

The true master
Well, here is the next chapter of The Journey. This one took some time to complete, because it was a lot longer than it is now, I had to cut out parts that will be seen in the next chapter. Enjoy, and remember, support my fellow authors in the Fanfic Awards!

Disclaimer: This story is rated R (Restricted) for Violence, Adult Language and Adult Situation.

Chapter 12- Double Jeopardy

“Our next match is Ken Wesker. Come on up ‘ere Ken!” boomed Tobias as the small crowd began to clap in earnest. Sebastian gave Ken a pat on the back, knowing that he would do well in his first match up against a gym leader. The two female trainers both dominated their matches, and hopefully Ken will continue the winning trend against Tobias.

Ken, although he would never admit it, had butterflies in his stomach as he approached the stage. His hands trembled slightly as he moved into the position to face his first gym leader, his first hurdle in become the champion he desires.

“Let’s do it, son.” Tobias said happily. He picked a pokeball and tossed it on the ground, revealing a three-legged creature which was balancing itself on the point of it’s head. It’s elongated appendages acting like swift whips when the Hitmontop spun around.

Ken was not showing any emotion when he tossed his pokeball onto the rocky floor. Ball opened, and the tiny Wooper, stopped out, it’s familiar cry echoing in the arena. The Hitmontop stopped spinning for a moment, eyeing it’s opponent warily.

“LETS BEGIN!” Tobias shouted, and the crowd cheered.
“Wooper, water gun!” shouted Ken. The tiny tadpole obliged, opening it’s mouth and spewing a near perfect stream of water towards the Hitmontop.

“Rapid spin, then go in for a hit!” said Tobias. The fighting type began to spin on it’s head, gaining speed with every rotation, until there was nothing but a large, spinning blur, like a miniature tornado whipping the winds and hurling small pebbles on the dirt floor of the arena. Wooper’s water gun hit the spinning top head on, but the weak stream was blocked and sprayed into little droplets, showering the dirt on the floor. The Hitmontop then moved closer, spinning like the Tasmanian Devil in the old cartoons, making a small defined path in it’s movements and slamming right into the Wooper. The water type flew literally into the air, and slammed into a nearby rock with so much force it made a web of cracks in the surface of the rock.

“Wooper, get back up and try to stop it from spinning, mud slap it!” The Wooper was shaking it’s head, trying to remove the pain from being thrown into a rock. The spinning top inched closer, and the Wooper jumped out of the way, doing a belly roll to evade another blow from the Hitmontop’s rapid spin. It ran and jumped right into the small stream, adjacent from where the rocky field is. Wooper quickly dived down onto the muddy ground under the water, and scooped up some of the wet mud with it’s tail. Curling it slightly, it shot up to the surface, looking right at the spinning top that was now moving closer to the waters edge.

“Go for it, Wooper!” ordered Ken. The water type jumped as high as it could into the air, narrowly avoiding the spinning vortex that the Hitmontop created. The Wooper then opened it’s tail, caked with thick, runny mud and swung it as hard as it can. The spinning Hitmontop, much to the surprise of Tobias, stopped spinning, and began to falter on it’s own balance. There was mud smeared all over it’s lithe body, some of it covered it’s eyes, some of it ran down onto it’s point, slowing the movement and stopping the rapid spin.

“Pound it Wooper.” Said Ken. His Wooper made a small cry, and lifted it’s muddy tail, and struck the disoriented Hitmontop on the side of it’s body. Some more mud fell off, nearly cleaning it’s flat tail from the sticky substance as it vigorously smacked the Hitmontop.

Tobias winced, but was not worried about the apparent dominance the Wooper showed.

“Give it a triple kick, then take it down!” Tobias shouted. His Hitmontop was still reeling, barely able to see. It began spinning again, this time slowly, and extended it’s three legs out as far as they can, until the mini claws were pointed upwards, making it’s feet as flat and rigid as possible. It moved with remarkable speed toward Wooper, but missed it’s mark and struck a nearby rock, splitting it in two with the force of it’s three kicks.

“Keep pounding it to the ground, Wooper!” shouted Ken. The water type smacked the back of the Hitmontop’s head, sending it reeling once again in it’s confusion, but this time the Hitmontop rallied, hurling it’s body towards the direction of the pound and stiffening it’s legs once again, hitting Wooper in it’s tiny jaw.

“WOOP!!” It cried in pain, a small welt forming on it’s face as it fell backwards.
“Oh crap…”Ken said softly, as his Wooper was pummeled by three strong kicks, leaving it slightly disoriented.

“Go for the kill, take it down!” shouted Tobias. The fighting type lowered it’s legs, and had them surround it’s body, bracing it for impact against the now wounded Wooper, and spun towards it’s location in full speed.

“Wake up Wooper, dodge it hurry!” shouted Ken, but it was no use. The Hitmontop was inches from the water type, with no room to maneuver out of it’s range.

“ENDURE THE HIT!” screamed Ken, as the Hitmontop quickly tackled the Wooper, sending both pokemon onto the ground in a hard thump! The crowd gasped, as a little puff of dirty smoke rose from the point of impact, the ground shaking the tiny pebbles as a miniature tremor erupted Sebastian and Sophie had looks of despair on their face. It looked like Ken would lose; as it would be unlikely his Wooper would survive such a hit.

“That looked painful…” Sebastian whispered to Sophie.
“I don’t think Wooper survived that hit…”she replied.

On the other end of the field, Ken looked crestfallen and was already bending down to pick up his pokeball to recover his Wooper. Tobias had a smile on his face, confident that the Wooper was finished.
“Ya did good, there, Ken. But not good enough.” He said across the field. Ken just gritted his teeth, and looked downwards, to upset to even respond to the gym leader.

When the dust cleared, both pokemon laid motionless, almost as if they were dead. The Hitmontop was flat on it’s face, it’s three legs twisted together as mangled roots of a small tree. The Wooper was under it, the flat tail wrapped around it’s tiny body like a blanket, and it’s head tucked as close to it’s body as possible. Ken already had his pokeball in hand, until he heard a faint “Woop.” Ken, Tobias, and the whole crowd fell silent, staring at the twisted pile of pokemon on the dusted floor.

The pokemon began to stir, struggling to get up from the harsh fall that occurred. But surprisingly, only the Wooper was moving, trying to push the weight of the Hitmontop off of it’s tiny frame. The crowed suddenly erupted in great cheering and applause, as Ken’s Wooper, shaking on wobbly legs, lifted itself from the ground, exhausted but the victor.

“I…I don’t believe it!” Tobias said. The spry water type was able to survive, if only barely, as the impact of the takedown was Tobias’s undoing. He reluctantly drew his pokeball and recalled his Hitmontop, conceding defeat.

Ken looked like he was in shock. His mouth was open like a gaping hole, his mind still processing what happened.

“I..I won?” He said out loud.
“Ya sure did, Ken. Congratulations.” Tobias said.
“I…WON! YES!” he shouted. As the crowd drowned out Ken’s own screaming. He went over to his Wooper, giving the water type a big hug. The Wooper, shaking but smiling, enjoyed the embrace from it’s master, despite wincing in pain from Ken’s touch.

Tobias was now calming the crowd, standing in the center of the gym and getting their attention as the applause and screams began to wane.

“All righty…we got one more match fer today. I wanna say to everyone before we begin, y’all are great trainers and I’m enjoyin battlin’ with y’all today. Now we got one more trainer to go, so let’s get to it. Sebastian, yer up!”


Damon was running low on breath as he sprinted down the crowded streets towards the pokemon gym. His legs were on fire and his throat burned, shooting pain into his body, but he didn’t care at this point. If he could make it to the pokemon gym, he would be in better company. He kept moving; passing the bystanders on the street that kept giving him concerned and confused looks. The sirens were long gone now, the police probably asking people in the area of the attempted shooting what happened earlier.

He kept looking backwards, making sure that Gabriel wasn’t following him in the crowded streets of Liechi. He also glanced at the sky, periodically; making sure that his Xatu was not following him in the sky.

Damon then saw it, like a beacon of light at the end of a darkened tunnel, the pokemon gym with it’s white-washed walls and giant Pigeot statues marking it’s presence with ease.

‘Thank god!’ He thought to himself. His legs felt like jelly as he slowed his pace down a bit, trying his best to catch his breath for a moment while continuing to move forward. He was now strolling at a leisurely pace, slowly capturing his breath and calming his body for the first time since Gabriel attacked him. He looked backed some more, but neglected to see Gabriel following him at all, and eased up some more, certain that he lost his assailant.

But then something struck him from his side, and he feel backwards into an alleyway, crashing into the side of a dumpster. He looked up, dazed and dizzy, seeing double of Gabriel over him, his white t-shirt soiled and once angelic looking face red and rugged. He had his arms out again, once more wrapped around Damon’s neck.

“Always look to your side.” Gabriel snarled, as he squeezed Damon’s neck once again.

Damon’s head was reeling, his body was in great pain and his neck was on fire again. He reached out towards Gabriel, and grabbed his head, trying to push him away enough to release his grip. The two were now locked onto each other, trying to choke the other to submission. It was a stalemate between the two, their bodies were tired but their resolve was still abundant.

Damon then saw Gabriel’s pistol wavering in it’s holster, which was strapped around his chest on a leather belt. Damon let one of his hands go, and tried to reach for the pistol, while the other was raking Gabriel’s eyes, trying to blind the man who was choking him. He gouged the teen’s eyes, but despite yelping in pain, Gabriel didn’t release his grip on Damon’s neck. He did, however, give up some strength, which gave Damon enough wiggle room to weakly grab the handle of the pistol. He couldn’t hold onto it, as it dropped to the dirty alleyway floor like a heavy stone.

Gabriel eyed this, and released his grip on Damon’s neck and grabbed for the gun. Damon also reached for the fallen pistol, grabbing one of Gabriel’s hands and attempting to hold him long enough to reach the gun. The two teens struggled for a moment, wriggling on the cold concrete; littered with garbage and stagnant, oily sludge. The two kept fighting, the dirty water splashing onto their clothing and slowly absorbed into the fabric as large, disgusting stains. The stench of the garbage was enough to make anyone gag, but the two kept battling, ignoring their surroundings and focusing only on the cobalt blue steel weapon in front of them.

Gabriel suddenly kneed Damon in the stomach, and he yelped a deep “OOMPH” before letting go of Gabriel’s hand. This gave the blonde teen enough time to scramble for the gun, grasping the handle and pointing it towards Damon. Damon reached for his hands again, still in pain but still vigilant. The two teens were on the floor still, knees scraping the dirty water in their struggle, as they wrestled with the gun in the center. Gabriel attempted to point the barrel of the gun at Damon’s chest, but was unable to pull the trigger as Damon blocked it with his hand.

The two struggled in this deadly game of tug-o-war, neither of them giving the other any room to retaliate. The gun, slick with the oily water, made this even more treacherous for the two teens, as it was hard for either of them to firmly grasp the pistol between them. Damon was short on breath again, still heaving from the knee to his stomach, while Gabriel was also fatigued, still having trouble seeing from the rake to his eyes. Both were battered, but refused to give up.

Damon then was able to gain the upper hand. He reached around with one free hand, grabbing the back of Gabriel’s head, drawing it closer to his own. Gabriel struggled against this, putting as much force as he can against this maneuver, but Damon was the stronger man this time, and pulled his won head back before smacking Gabriel’s face hard with a headbutt. Gabriel screamed in pain, his nose now bloodied and broken, dripping droplets of red onto his once clean shirt as he fell backwards onto the ground. The gun fell as well, with Gabriel releasing his grip from the blow by Damon.

Damon was now hurting hard, his head spinning as a large pink welt began to form on his injured brow. He struggled to maintain his own focus, and reached for the gun, this time with some slighter ease than before, as Gabriel was no longer bothering to grab it. He picked it up, and very carefully, tried to pick his body up, hunching on one side of the wall for support as he struggled to maintain his balance. His head still throbbed with pain, and his vision was dazed, but he was able to turn around and point the gun right at Gabriel, who was struggling to get up with the help of the side of the dumpster.

“Don’t….move….” Damon said, his voice a mere whisper as he heaved in deep breaths to calm his injured body. Gabriel stopped moving, letting go of the dumpster and slumping back onto the ground, his bloodied face looking straight upwards at Damon and his gun. He then did something that Damon didn’t expect; he began to laugh.

“Hahahahahahaha….” Gabriel laughed weakly, a sly grin forming on his face as blood ran down his cheeks like healthy rivers. Damon was completely confused, and frustrated because the young man before him was almost mocking him.

“Why are you…laughing so much…Gabriel?” He asked him. Gabriel just continued to laugh back like a hyena, before calming down and taking a deep breath.

“You…wouldn’t shoot the messenger now, would you? Especially since…it’s me, Damon.” Gabriel said softly.

Damon, this time, smiled back, before cocking the gun and aiming it as best as he can towards Gabriel’s chest. Gabriel stopped laughing, his once proud grin turning into a look of horror, his eyes showing great fear, almost pleading for his life by his expression as Damon held the gun in a stronger grip.

“You still…don’t know me very well…do you, Gabriel?” Damon said manically, before pulling the trigger.
 

Judai-and-sho

The Best of the Best
You got some talent I must admit. Grammar mistakes, who cares? Actually looking for them and memorizing where they are ruins your experience as a reader. As long as you run it through Word, and it is for the most part, readable, a few grammar mistakes do not bother me. But you got a great story and good imagination going. Keep it up.
 

Air Dragon

Ha, ha... not.
Woot for Ken's battle! Portrayed very well! Adn Damon offing Gabriel was cold dude. A couple of errors caught my eyes, and Judai-and-sho, i care. if someone like J>K Rowling, K.A. Applegate and John Grisham started making spelling mistakes in their books, they wouldn't be as enjoyable. Anyways:

its movements and slamming right into the Wooper

That error happened several times in the fic, like here:

giant Pidgeot statues marking its presence with ease.

Well, til next post!

L@er!
 

whit19

Fire boy
Air Dragon got most of the errors, so I ain't gotta get into that. Sorry it took so long... i got through ch-1-10. (funny how the story was posted on my b-day.) It took me hours. (I'm a slow reada.)

Only thing I gotta say ta you about grammar, besides the typos, is what Negrek told me:

whenever you refer to someone by name in direct speech you have to set their name off with commas. In some cases this means that their name will be surrounded by commas.

Anyway, I like the story. The only problem I had was Seb's flashback ta one year ago, cuz the flashback took ova the whole story. So we dunno if Seb's about ta die or not, but it's ok. Story's interestin. I like the characters. Ch.8 gave us good development with the dreams, like everyone else said. I thought Damon was just gon be evil, but there's more to 'em than that... I woulda left his phone convo's secret ta give him a lil more mystery though, even though you doin it right anyway.

There was a lotta funny moments in the story. Sophie callin Seb a virgin was one of the ones that made me lol loud. Same thing when she thought he wanted ta take a bath with her.

I'll get ta ch.11-12 tomm when i get the time. Keep up the writin and neva give up on it. Even when you feel that no one's readin the story. I know how depressin it can feel...
 

LinksOcarina

The true master
Because of familily coming in from Ohio soon, and because of the 4th of July, I might not be able to update the story for two weeks. I will do my best to put something in for the Journey, hopefully chapter 13, but as of right now, I will not be able to update once a week like I promised. For now, enjoy what we have.


Also, thank you for the nominations in the Fanfiction Awards, it is much appreciated.
 

LinksOcarina

The true master
Yay...I finished another chapter!

I apologize for the long wait for this one, I had trouble writing it, as well as trouble editting, because of the holiday and what not occupying my time. I also have family coming in next week, as well as a trip to Puerto Rico in two weeks, so I might squeeze out one more chapter before the end of July, no promises, however.

I hope that you guys are still interested in this story, as it's only going to get better, in my mind, as we go along. Keep posting anything you like, or don't like, in here, and remember to nominate and read the stories of my fellow authors, whom were nominated for the Summer Fanfic Awards. I myself am up for two awards: Most Improved Author, and Most Overlooked Author, so keep track guys and if you feel I deserve those, vote for me :).

Disclaimer: This story is rated R (Restricted) for Violence language and Adult Situations.

Enjoy

Chapter 13- A Race Against Time

The sun was beginning to set as the afternoon dragged onwards. After nearly a full day of waiting, playing, and watching spectacular battles being preformed before him, Sebastian was finally ready for his first gym match.

He has seen his best friend survive his match, and hopes to do the same, grabbing his first ever gym badge in the process. His stomach was in knots; his throat was dry in anticipation as he walked onto the stage and faced down Tobias for the first time. The long day was about to end for the eager teen.

The crowd had turned into nothing but a group of faithful trainers, some two-dozen hopefuls that have stuck out since the beginning of the day, including Sophie and Ken. The group was clapping loudly and cheering on Sebastian, hoping to see the powerful gym leader in defeat one more time.

“Ok now, ya ready, Sebastian?” Yelled Tobias.

Sebastian just nodded warily, his hands to his sides like an old cowboy in a showdown, ready to grab for his weapon.
‘This is it,’ He thought to himself. ‘I can do this. I know I can. I know I can...”

“LETS DO IT!” Yelled Tobias, as he threw his pokeball onto the ground. Sebastian likewise did the same, grasping his pokeball and tossing it to the ground beneath his feet. In a flash, his Cubone revealed itself, brandishing its club like a steel sword. Across from it, a small, violet colored pokemon was forming, as the creature did minor bounces in place until its shape was created. The purple and black features were strong contrasts to the splotches of sickly orange, and around its whole body was a thin sheen of slime, coating it like and extra set of armor.

The Croagunk chirped in small ribbits, it’s webbed hands forming little fists as it lifted them upwards towards his face like a boxer. It’s large yellow eyes showed remarkable calm however, contrasting the fighting stance the slimy frog was in.

‘That Croagunk looks tough…’Sebastian thought to himself. He kept eyeing his Cubone, still holding his club upwards, it’s eyes focused entirely on the poison fighter in front of him.

“You think you can take it down, Cubone?” Sebastian asked his pokemon. The ground type looked up to it’s master, and just nodded, whimpering a slight “Cuuu.” Sebastian smiled, and took a deep breath to alleviate his own stress.

“Let’s do it, Cubone, Give it a headbutt!” Sebastian ordered. The ground type tucked it’s head down, leaving the bony white tips of it’s skull helmet outwards like sharp spikes. The Croagunk’s yellow eyes kept gazing lazily toward Cubone, not even making a move to evade any attack, as Cubone began to run towards it at full speed.
Tobias was smiling, waiting for just the right moment to give his first order. As Cubone gained speed, Tobias grinned some more. Now less than thirty yards away, Tobias was ready to make a move.

“Sucker punch it!” Tobias cried, as the Croagunk brought its right fist backward to its side, waiting for the ground type to get close.

“Oh no! Cubone WAIT!” Cried Sebastian, but it was too late, as his ground type was close enough to receive a quick smack from Croagunk, who hit it right in the stomach of the beast, avoiding the skull all together.

Cubone winced in pain, and fall on it’s knees, the wind knocked out of it by the blow. It dropped it’s club to the ground, and had both arms crossed onto his stomach, holding the spot where Croagunk punched. It was breathing heavily, and stopped dead in it’s track just a few inches away from the frogs location.

“Now let’s even the odds a bit ‘ere, Poison Jab it!” Tobias cried. Croagunk, wound it’s fist up again, but this time, the middle finger had a small spike, neon orange and coated in thick purple slime, protruding from it’s fist, and in one swift motion, it jabbed right into Cubones coarse furry skin, sticking it with it’s poisonous barb. The impact alone from the punch knocked Cubone down to the ground, away from it’s own bone club, as it rolled backwards from the blow. Sticking out of the side of it’s chest was the orange spike, covered in the slime and no doubt making it’s way into Cubone’s bloodstream.

“Oh ****…” Sebastian said out loud. He looked at his pokemon, beaten down and now poisoned, and now yards away from it’s own bone club.

“Cubone, get up! Don’t give up!” Sebastian cried. Cubone was struggling to stand, shaking violently and beginning to sweat under it’s skull. It kept crying in pain, but was not ready to give up yet. Without it’s club, it just raised it’s tiny claws together into smaller fists, and was ready to get back into the fray, albeit weakened by the poison.

“Throw some bullet punches at it!” Tobias ordered! The Croagunk nodded, and began hopping towards Cubone, winding both fists backwards, as the sheen of slime covering them began to harden into a steel like substance.

“Cubone, thrash at it!” Sebastian cried. His pokemon ran forward, wailing like a madman, arms out stretched and flailing madly, the skull head swinging back and forth like a chime in the wind, charging the poison fighter in front of it. The two collided in the center, the Croagunk striking first, punching Cubone in it’s skull with it’s steel like hand, before Cubone smashed it’s whole body into the slimy assailant. Croagunk was knocked off it’s webbed feet, as Cubone began kicking and stomping on top of it, out of desperation. The frog had it’s hands up in guard, protecting it’s face from the onslaught, but it could not hold this position much longer.

‘He’s jes delayin…’Tobias thought to himself, as he got ready for his next order. Sebastian, meanwhile, was not sure what to do next.

‘I can’t get any serious damage without it hitting me, and the poison will sap more energy if I prolong this..’ He thought to himself. He looked around the rocky field, eyeing the boulders and the stream to see if he can find an advantage somewhere. He then eyed Cubones club, tucked onto the side of the field collecting dust. ‘We need that back first…’ thought Sebastian, until he came back to reality when Tobias broke his concentration.

“Faint attack!” Tobias yelled, and in an instant, Croagunk shifted away, disappearing at the speed of light. Cubone stopped thrashing about, and began looking around, rather tired and confused as to where it’s assailant went. He then was pushed from behind, as the Croagunk was able to sneak up on the ground type and smack it back onto the rocky surface of the field.

“Cubone, go for your club!” Sebastian yelled!
“On no ya don’t.” retorted Tobias, “Keep up the faint attacks Croagunk!”

Every time Cubone got up, the Croagunk would push it back down from behind, slinking back into the shadows from the faint attack. The continuous pattern began angering Sebastian, as his pokemon couldn’t even move, let alone land a punch on the frog that was harassing it. This, coupled with the poison that was coursing through Cubone’s body, made the inevitable a near reality.

‘What..what can I do?’ Sebastian thought to himself. He was beginning to panic, gritting his teeth and worrying about his pokemon.
‘Maybe I should just give up…’ he kept thinking to himself. He was so tempted to reach for the pokeball and return his Cubone, so tempted to end this right now, so tempted….

“COME ON SEB!” Shouted Ken from the sidelines. He was trying to cheer his buddy on, despite the odds before him. “ KICK HIS ***! DO IT DUDE! I KNOW YOU CAN!” He kept wailing, over the rest of the crowd, giving Sebastian encouragement.

‘How…’ he kept thinking to himself. How can he win? The only way is to get the Croagunk to stop hitting him, but how to get it away from him.
‘Wait…maybe that can work…’ Sebastian thought to himself.

“Cubone, False Swipe!” Sebastian cried. Across the field, Cubone lifted it’s tiny fists, and swung a left jab towards the Croagunk, anticipating where it may have attacked. The ruse worked, and the Croagunk hesitated for a moment, stopping it’s faint attack in mid speed before receiving a light tap from Cubones punch. This gave the pokemon enough time to retreat, right back to where it dropped it’s bone club.

“Chase it down! Use a cross chop n’ finish it off!” ordered Tobias. Croagunk, shaking it’s head, began charging at the sprinting Cubone, crossing it’s webbed hands into two sturdy open palms used by karate experts, and rushing with great speed towards the lumbering Cubone. Cubone was running as fast as it can go, despite nearly stumbling a few times due to the poison in it’s body, which was no doubt making the most menial tasks now more unbearable and painful.

Croagunk was right behind Cubone when he reached it’s club. Quickly sensing danger, the ground type grasped the thin end of it’s weapon, and brought it up to defend itself, just as the cross chop was coming down onto it’s body.

“BONE RUSH!” Sebastian cried. And Cubone thrusted it’s club towards the abdomen of it’s opponent. The thick end of the bone went right into Croagunk’s stomach. Cubone pushed in with as much strength it could spare, as the Croagunk was nearly stunned, unable to move or breathe due to the club that pounded it’s body. It’s cross chop let loose, and it’s arms feel to it’s sides, as the Croagunk croaked in pain, a high sounding shriek of a cry being uttered from it’s slimy lips.

“That’s it Cubone, keep pushing it! Keep putting pressure on it!” Sebastian cried. Tobias, however, was not to be outdone.

“Get away from ‘dere Croagunk! Use a body slam!” He shouted, but the ground type was now in control, as the Croagunk could barely breathe, let alone comprehend, what it should do. Cubone, still shaking from the poison invading it’s body, kept pushing, with waning strength each time, until it let go, heaving deep breaths on it’s own.

“Finish it off, Cubone. Smack it with bone club!” shouted Sebastian. The ground type raised it’s club as high as it can, it’s body in a tremor as it used what would likely be the last ounce of strength it could muster, and slammed it’s club downwards, right onto Croagunk’s head, landing a direct hit between it’s yellow eyes. The frog staggered for a moment, letting out another, this time low pitched, cry, before falling to the ground for the first time in the match.

Tobias’s mouth was open with shock, his eyes showing great amazement to what he just witnessed. Likewise, the crowd was totally silent, waiting to see if Croagunk would begin stirring, showing any signs of continuing the battle. When it became clear that the poison frog was not getting up, Tobias conceded, recalling his fainted pokemon, as the crowd erupted once again, in excitement.

“YES!” Shouted Sebastian, who ran over to his pokemon in the center of the field, and picking it up for a tight hug.

“You did it, Cubone.” He whispered into the pokemons ear. The Cubone, shaking violently in his arms, only nodded and said a faint “cuuu..”barely conscious because of the poison. Quickly thinking, Sebastian recalled him to it’s pokeball, buying his ground type some time to get to the pokecenter in town as quickly as possible.

“I wanna congratulate you, Sebastian, n’ everyone else I faced today.” Tobias said on his microphone, his words hushing the crowd. “It’s been a while since I got swept like this, so I hope ya’ll who beat me today continue yer journeys as trainers, yer good ones in my book. I want the four trainers to line up, so I can present ya’ll with the badges. Once again, congratulation’s, and hope to see ya’ll soon.”

With that, Tobias ushered for the four trainers to go back onto the dusted arena floor, and began one final ceremony, presenting the winners with their new badges.


It was nearly dusk now, the hot sun setting quickly in the magenta colored clouds, as Sebastian, Sophie, and Ken waited outside of the pokecenter for Damon. All three trainers have not seen him since this morning, when he left on his personal business, and some of them were starting to worry about their counterpart at this stage. Ken was sitting on the steps leading to the center, while Sebastian kept his gaze on the street corner closest to him, scanning the darkening horizon for the familiar leather jacket.

“I bet he ditched us.” Sophie kept complaining, as she paced back and forth between the marble steps of the pokecenter.
“I could only hope.” Muttered Ken.
“Oh come on,” Sebastian said, “I bet he just got caught up in whatever he was doing.”
“Why do you keep defending him?” Ken asked. “The guy is an *******, you know?”
“Dude, calm down. He is not an *******. Yeah he’s kind of harsh at times, but he means well.”
“You trust him to much.” Ken retorted.
“Still, if he did try to rob you or something, he would of already.” Sophie said.
“See, thank you Sophie.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t like him much either.” She said back. Sebastian just rolled his eyes, giving up the fight to defend Damon. It was futile at this point to argue.
“I say we wait a fifteen more minutes, and if he doesn’t show up, we go in to rest, and leave tomorrow.” Sophie said.
“Sounds good to me.” Replied Ken. He then turned his gaze to Sebastian, who kept looking vigilantly outwards towards the street. “That ok with you buddy?”

Without moving his head, Sebastian just sighed, and slowly nodded. “Ok, Ken. We can do that.”

“You guys waiting up for me, I like that!” said a familiar voice behind them all.

The three trainers turned around towards the alleyway, and all three nearly screamed in horror by the sight of Damon. His entire body, head to toe, was dirty and disheveled, his neck was as red as a tomato, and his clothing were ragged and smelly.

“What the **** happened to you?” Ken asked.
“I got mugged by some idiot who thought it would be nice to steal from me.” Damon said coolly.
“Oh crap, are you ok?” Sebastian asked.
“Oh yeah I’m fine. You should see the other guy though.” Damon said, smiling.
“You should take a shower then.” Sophie said, smiling lightly and holding her nose with her fingers, trying to prevent the lingering odor of the dumpsters on Damon’s body from bothering her.

“I planned to, thank you. After that, we should leave.” Damon said, brushing past the teens and heading right for the pokecenter door.

“Wait, why leave so quickly?” Sebastian asked. “I mean we just won our first badges and…”
“Ah, you both won huh?” Damon asked.
“Yeah!” Sebastian said enthusiastically, his face grinning “They were great matches too. Ken’s came down to a…”

“Tell me about it when were on the road again, and we should just go because the quicker we leave, the quicker we can get to the next city.”
“Um, what is the next city, then?” Ken said sarcastically.
“Figure it out, Ken. I am sure you have somewhere to go to now.” Damon said back, giving a slight wink to the teen as his face blushed with some anger, before opening the pokecenter doors and heading straight for the shower area.

“Anyone else find that weird?” Sophie said.
“How so?” Sebastian asked.
“Well, he gets mugged, but doesn’t mention cops or anything, and by the looks of it, he didn’t get stopped by them. It was as if he was hiding in the alleys the whole time.”
Ken just shrugged his shoulders, before giving off a small yawn.
“Who cares.” He said. “I just wish the guy who mugged him succeeded, damn ******* he is.”

“How evil of you, Ken.” Sophie said sarcastically.
“Yeah dude, that wasn’t funny.” Sebastian said back. Ken’s smile turned into a frown quickly.
“Oh come on, it was just a joke!” he said back to his friend.
“Yeah yeah…”

As the three trainers argued outside the pokecenter, none of them were paying any attention to the nearby buildings. High on top of one of the large skyscrapers, a large, green Xatu was listening to their trivial plights, and watching them as keenly as possible, waiting for them to go on the move once more.
 

silverdragoon X

Hit 'em hard
Alright, I'm finally back from my long vacation and, to my enjoyment, have found several chapters to read. To get started, I didn't see any huge grammar mistakes, but I was never that great at finding them anyway. Both Ken's and Sebastian's battles were great and I enjoyed them a great deal. They were very well described and I'm glad that both battles turned out well for both of our two heroes. I'll be waiting for the new chapters of this great story.

Silverdragoon X out
 

duncan

Well-Known Member
Bleargh. I wrote a full review last night, but Serebii crashed before I posted it. Anyway, I'll give it to you in short. This is quite good. My main problem is that the characters interaction is a bit lacking. (yes, I know you wrote this a long time ago). But the fact that you started your own region is a nice touch (though you could add more description to it). Besides that, the only thing I noticed is that some cursing is sensored while others is not. Annoying, no? Anyway, keep rewriting (or whatever you do to old chapters). I'll definitely be reading.
 

LinksOcarina

The true master
Thanks for the advice Duncan.

I apologize for this, however, but I don't know if I will be able to write anymore of the story any time soon. I have a vacation coming up in less than a week, and after that i'm back to school.

What I will do is attempt to post one more chapter before I go away, but after that, theres no pomises as to what will happen next, and i'm sorry for that guys.

So we will see what goes on, expect a new chapter this week.
 

LinksOcarina

The true master
Quick update.

I'm sorry guys, but there is no way I can finish this before my vacation...so the story is on a minor hiatus for the next two weeks, until I have time to continue. So to the five people who liked reading the story, i'm sorry for the long wait..im just to busy right now and the vacation coming up is another factor.
 

LinksOcarina

The true master
Well, im back from vacation, but real lifes coming in too...school is starting soon, which means student teaching, which means less time to write and edit. So chapters will be slow.

I will, however, let you know what is going to happen next. In the coming chapters, we will get some more backstory on Sebastian and Ken, and why they want to be trainers so much. We will also see Sebastian, Ken, AND Sophie capture some pokemon.

More of Damon's story will be revealed, as well as the his pursuers.

They will reach the second gym as well.

So thats what you can look forward too, so hopefully I get it done in the coming months. Until then, enjoy whats up here.

Link
 
I've been skimming, and it looks like pretty interesting stuff. A couple pet peeves:

“Ok now, ya ready, Sebastian?” Yelled Tobias.

The speaking verb shouldn't be capitalized; I noticed that a few other times. *yelled* Tobias

Also, when speaking in possessive, it shouldn't be "it's" but "its". I know, I hate that word soooo much, but that's grammar for ya.

BTW, you have a flair for names. I don't know why, they just seemed to suit the characters.

~Mix
 

Huckleberry

Poison Trainer
Crestfallen

I am suddenly incredibly sad, there isn't anymore to read. :(

Very good fic, Links. I hope you're still planning to continue it as well. I'm sad to see no one has posted here since the middle of last month. It's hard for me to find a fanfic this engaging (I'm a little picky) and I was rather excited when I started reading this one. I think you have wonderful descriptive style but you only seem to use it for certain things. The gym battles, for example, were well described, but I found that many times I really didn't have a feel for other situations. Overall, however, I think it's very well done, dude. I really hope to see more when you have the time.
 

LinksOcarina

The true master
Chapter Fourteen Is Up

Oh my, it's a return to "The Journey", I belive it is!

Yes, after a long hiatus I actually wrote a chapter and edited it.

Same rules apply, and chances are, this might be the last chapter in a while, unless I get bored again and not do school work like I should. So enjoy.

Chapter 14- The Great Schism

Dusk was setting in over the maroon sky, as the sunsets for the night once more. The moon was visible, but distant and dull as the sun’s final rays hold it at bay for a few hours longer. Sebastian couldn't help but look up at the pinkish hue that covers the sky, a thing of beauty in his mind as he and his friends travel across a wooded path.

Damon has been leading them deep into the woods ever since leaving Leichi. “We need to toughen up a bit.” He remarked as the reasoning behind this. Even though the roads are more direct to the nearest towns, Damon persisted this is a better plan.

Now, Sebastian is beginning to question his judgment. Ken and Sophie have already expressed how ridiculous this idea was, and in true fashion, used a lot of yelling and arguments to make their cases. Sebastian was hoping to get a good view of some pokemon, but thus far only weak leveled Cateripes and Pidgeys have been seen. Now in their fourth day in the wild, he too is getting restless.

‘Maybe Ken is right this time.’ Sebastian pondered. ‘Maybe we should of stayed on the roads.’

“So, fearless leader.” Ken remarked sarcastically, breaking Sebastian’s own thoughts.
Damon sighed before facing Ken eye to eye. “Yes, Ken? Another complaint, like always?” he said nonchalantly.

“Oh no…I don’t mean to complain at all.” Chided Ken.
“In fact, I want to thank you, because this has been a great waste of time and if it wasn’t for you, we could of made great progress in the past four days.”
“Oh but we are…”

“Not this again!” snapped Ken. “Not this whole “for the experience” crap! I know it’s a lie, your probably just leading us out into the woods so we can rot or something like that.”
“Ken, don’t be stupid.” Damon replied calmly. “If I wanted to do that, I would of never given you pokemon when we met. Plus, I would of abandoned you in Ridge Woods and in Liechi. You really need to stop the drama, Ken. It gets you nowhere.”

Sophie began giggling a bit, while Ken shot her a hasty glare of anger. He then turned to Sebastian, who was just shaking his head in disgust.

“You really need to calm down, Ken.” Sophie said, breaking the awkward silence.
“Ok, ok. You wouldn’t do that.” Conceded Ken. “But where are you leading us then?”
“Well…” Damon began, before Ken cut him off.
“Stop with the secrets already! That annoys me more.” Ken said in disgust.

Damon was no longer calm. His face scrunched up, his hands clenched into tight fists as his lip quivered to the rhythm of his beating heart. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.
Sebastian, for the first time, knew Damon was going to snap.

“Um guys…” Sebastian said finally. He was hoping that another petty argument would just blow over, but it seems like this one might lead to unnecessary violence in his eyes.

“No, Sebastian. Too late for some peace.” Damon said harshly.
“Is that so?” Ken remarked.
“You think I keep secrets from you?” Damon asked.
“Yes.”
“Then how hypocritical are you then, Ken?”

Ken thought for a moment, but before he could answer, Damon started again.
“No need to answer, because I know what you will say.” Ken looked more confused.
“You do?” he asked softly.
“Oh, I do.” Damon said, before moving so close to Ken his face was now inches from Ken’s. Ken now was wide eyed, and he began to shake in nervousness with Damon’s advanced.

“Damon don’t…” started Sebastian, but Damon just shot him a dirty look, which quickly repelled any reply. Damon quickly turned back to Ken, who was still shaking out of anticipation of what he likely deserved.
“Everyone harbors secrets, Ken. Desires, problems, even things that are just left unsaid. Sometimes it is for a good cause, and other times it can do harm to someone, even yourself if you leave it closed for too long. I suggest that you stop making quick accusations towards people, because one day someone won’t hold back when they feel like punching you in the gut!”
Damon raised his fists up, as Ken jerked his head, flinching downwards. Damon kept an icy gaze on him, before claming himself and walking away. Ken was now sitting on the ground, his head buried in his arms. Sophie and Sebastian, both onlookers towards the exchange, were relieved it was over.

“Ok, guys.” Sophie said, easing the tension some more. “I think we have had enough. The sun is almost gone and stuff, and we should set up camp.”

“Good idea.” Replied Damon in his usual, emotionless tone.

BOOM!

Before anyone could unpack their sleeping bags, a large crack of thunder erupted in the sky. Everyone jumped in freight by the sudden noise. Shortly after, a brilliant flash of light, like a supernova, filled the sky and covered the pinkish hue with nothing but white, before receding away from it’s source; a large, scraggly lightning bolt that likely touch downed in the woods nearby.

“Forget the camp, follow me.” Damon said quickly, grabbing his pack and lightly jogging to the east. Sophie followed suit, while Sebastian repacked his supplied. Ken, still sitting on the ground, seemed oblivious to the entire scenario. Sebastian noticed this, as he began rocking his friend in the arm, hoping to wake him up from this trance-like state.
“Come on Ken. We gotta go.” Sebastian pleaded, but Ken never looked up at his friend, he kept his head downwards past his knees, wallowing in his own shame.

“Leave me.” He said weakly.
“Don’t be dumb, just come on…”
“I SAID LEAVE ME!” Ken shouted back, this time moving his head upwards.

BOOM!

“Why should I leave my friend?” Sebastian asked.
“I am not a good friend. I am just causing trouble.” Ken said back.
“Dude it’s ok, everyone gets frustrated at times…”
“NO! It’s not ok. I keep doing this to you guys because I don’t trust him at all. It’s obvious that he is not leaving, so he can take my place. So just leave me!”

BOOM!

“Dude, stop it. No one can take your place here! Please come on, there’s a thunderstorm coming. We need to get out of here.”
“Id rather stay here.”
“Stop this self-pity ****!” snapped Sebastian. “Just stop it! You’re a better guy than this Ken, you need to just calm down a bit.”
“How the hell can I calm down when my BEST FRIEND is going off with some jerk and a girl he likes over ME?” Ken shouted back.

BOOM!

Sebastian was taken back by Ken’s words, but now was worried because the thunder was coming closer every minute they waste. He could feel a few droplets of fresh rain sprinkle on his head; he needs to hurry.

“That is not what this is about, Ken. I made a promise that we would do this together!”
“Why aren’t you keeping it then?” Ken asked, as tears were visibly forming in his eyes. “Why bring these guys onto what we wanted to do together? This was all about you and me, best friends toughing it out! Why the **** are strangers with us? What happened dude? What happened?”

BOOM!

Sebastian didn’t know what to say. He sniffled a bit, before rubbing his eyes to wipe away the visible tears as well. By now the rain was fully coming down, soaking the two teens. In the distance, Sebastian can hear Sophie calling them to hurry up.

“I am sorry, Ken.” Was all Sebastian said, as Ken wiped his wet face of the salty tears and cascading rainwater. Ken just looked up and nodded, before Sebastian grabbed his arm and helped him up from the now flooded ground.

“I just wanted it to be us, dude.” Ken said softly.

BOOM!

“Let’s talk about this later.” Sebastian said, before running off to the east. Ken followed suit, running behind him, the two hoping to out chase the oncoming storm.

They finally caught up to Sophie and Damon, who were starting to shiver from the cold rain that was falling over their heads. Wet and tired, the two teens were in awe of what was before them; a stone structure, charcoal gray in color and fittingly irregular in shape. Boulders the size of giant houses were strewn on the ground, with moss overgrown on the sides and weeds found all over the gray backs of the rough stone. In the center was a giant hole, like a mouth gaping open in a frozen yawn, beckoning, or frightening, anyone who may dare enter inside.

“What is this place?” Sebastian asked.
“It’s a cave I discovered a few years back!” Damon replied. “It’s pretty big inside, a lot of tunnels, I think some Onix lived in here, but I never saw one.”
“Hurry up, I’m getting chills now!” Sophie cried.

BOOM!

The four dashed into the cavern’s entrance, as darkness fully engulfed them. Outside, they can see the droplets of rain and the flashes of lightning through their opening, giving some brief light to where they are going.

Damon was the first to grab his pokeball, before releasing it onto the cavern’s floor. In a flash, his Flaaffy, Amp, emitted a light, soothing baa before lighting the cavern with its tail. Sebastian shielded his eyes briefly, before adjusting to the grisly sight before him. The cave was bare and cold; it’s caverns deep and dull, oval in shape and perfectly formed. The group moved inside the cave, getting as far as they can from the entrance and the flashes of light, before the cave’s mouth was a distant sight to them.

“Ok, we should camp here.” Damon said.
“Good idea, I’m still shivering.” Sophie remarked, rubbing her arms around her body, her clothing drenched from the rain.

Ken released his Magby from his pokeball, as he gathered some sticks strewn inside the cave. Few they were, but sufficient enough to make a small fire. The baby pokemon burped a tiny ember onto the dry wood, which was quickly engulfed in a roaring flame, warming the trainers immensely.

“Good job, Magby.” Ken complimented his pokemon. The baby duck cooed as Ken returned it to it’s home. Sebastian sat down near the fire, extending his arms outward to warm his body up.

“That was real sudden, wasn’t it?” Sebastian remarked.
“Very much so.” Sophie said, sitting next to Sebastian and emulating his actions.
“That’s the way the weather is. All a part of being prepared and expecting the unexpected.” Damon chimed in.
“Although, it would have been better if we were on the main road.” Ken said.
Sophie just began giggling. “Stop, Ken. No need for this again.” She said.
Ken just laughed. “I’m over it. I was just saying guys…”
“It’s fine.” Said Damon, as he put his backpack down and took off his leather jacket, placing it on an overturned rock next to the fire. He unzipped the backpack and began rummaging through it’s hidden contents, before grabbing a dry shirt and pants set from the overstuffed bag.

“I suggest we all get something warm on, so we don’t freeze.” Damon said, before taking hit drenched shirt off. He sat down on the floor and unlaced his black boots and peeled his dirty socks off as well.

“WOAH, hold on a second!” Sophie said, jumping up as Damon removed his socks.
“What is it?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that your all guys and I’m a girl?”
Ken began to laugh. “It’s no big deal, Sophie. I didn’t plan on stripping naked or anything.” Ken, like Damon, already had his sneakers and socks off, and was beginning lift his shirt up.

“THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM!” Sophie angirly shouted .”What the hell am I going to do, I am not getting dressed in front of you all!”

“Relax.” Sebastian said calmly. “Just walk down in the cave a bit and come back. I promise we won’t look.”
“Speak for yourself.” Ken said softly.
“I HEARD THAT!”
Ken just laughed a bit more. “It’s a joke, Sophie. Calm down. I promise I will stay here.”

Sophie was clearly agitated, grabbing her backpack with anger and removing her wet sandals from her feet.

“How will I see though?” She asked.
“Amp, go with her so she can see.” Damon said. The sheep pokemon nodded its pink head, before standing next to Sophie’s side, ready to depart.

“You all better stay here.” She said angrily, before walking deeper into the cave, Amp following close behind.

The three boys began to laugh a bit. By now, Damon and Ken were now in their boxers and throwing their fresh clothes on, while Sebastian has just begun to remove his wet shirt.

“I am surprised about that.” Damon said heartily.
“Why?” Sebastian asked.
“She act’s like tomboy, but is so modest when we are around.”
“She’s a girl. That’s the way girls are.” Remarked Ken.
“Not true at all.” Replied Sebastian. “Remember Alisa Janis back in Ganlon? She was always climbing trees and playing tag with the guys. She was also topless when we went swimming together.”
“Dude that was when we were ten. It was innocent back then.”
“I know, but still…” Sebastian began.
“You guys must have had a good childhood with your friends.” Damon asked.
“Yeah, we had fun back then. It was somewhat simple back then too. School, and games around the town.” Sebastian said. Sighing a bit.
“Homesick yet, Seb?” Ken chided him.
“ No, and I doubt you ever will be too.” Sebastian shot back.

Ken laughed weakly, before grabbing his sleeping bag from the soaked backpack and rolling it out, ready for bed. Damon was already lying down on his back, looking at the coarse ceiling above him as the fire flickered the shadows in the crevices. Sebastian, now fully dressed and welcome dry, kept his hands near the fire, warming his body up some more before laying down.

“I wonder what is taking Sophie so long?” Ken said.
“Yeah, she has been gone for a while now.” Sebastian said.
“Go check on her, Sebastian.” Suggested Damon.

Sebastian looked up at Damon, who was still looking at the ceiling of the cavern.

“Why me?”
“I can think of many reasons.” Ken said, chuckling.
“Shut up, Ken!” Sebastian said, his face turning red. “ I am sure she’s fine, I mean I would be invading her privacy if I went to get her.”
“True, I guess. Give her a few minutes though.” Said Damon.
“Oh hell, I’ll go look for her.” Ken said, standing up from his sleeping bag.

“No, just leave her….” Damon began. Before loud rumble quaked the cavern. The three teens sat up immediately, looking around their dimly lit area for a source of the sound.

“What the hell was that?” Sebastian asked.
“I don’t know and I don’t want to find out, Seb.” Ken replied.

Another tremor shook the cavern, this time making small pebbles fall to the ground. Then a loud shriek was heard.

“AAAAIHHHH!”

“SOPHIE!” Sebastian shouted, before he grabbed his backpack and headed towards Sophie’s direction.

“SEBASTIAN, WAIT!” Damon shouted, but it was too late. As the teen was already off into the dark cave on his own.

“Let’s go, we got to follow him.” Ken said. The two grabbed their packs and began to run after him, but another, more sinister shriek emitted from the cavern, before the ceiling of the pathway Sebastian ran down collapsed in front of them. Ken and Damon covered their heads with their arms as the rocks fell downward, inches from their location as boulders that would easily crush them tumbled from the top.

The cave in was quick and continued to shake the foundations. Ken and Damon ran back to their campsite, the dimly lit fire almost eradicated by falling dust from the rocks above. Another tremor rocked the two trainers, and this time, the side of the cavern bursted open, like a blast from a demolition. Rocks flew everywhere, one striking Ken in the stomach and hurling him to the ground. As Damon rushed to help the fallen teen, out of the corner of his eye he could see something, a dark shape, moving near them.
 
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duncan

Well-Known Member
About time! XD Heh, just kidding. Actually I'd take a shot in the dark and say that this ended up being your best chapter yet. A little on the short side, but that's fine. I read too many long chapters. XD

However, there are some problems. First of all, your tense are wrong. Take this for example:

Sebastian can’t help but look up at the pinkish hue that covers the sky, a thing of beauty in his mind as he and his friends travel across a wooded path.

Remember, when writing in third person always used past tenses.

“So, fearless leader.” Ken remarked sarcastically, breaking Sebastian’s own thoughts.
Damon sighed before facing Ken eye to eye. “Yes, Ken? Another complaint, like always?” he said nonchalantly.
“Oh no…I don’t mean to complain at all.” Chided Ken.
“In fact, I want to thank you, because this has been a great waste of time and if it wasn’t for you, we could of made great progress in the past four days.”
“Oh but we are…”
“Not this again!” snapped Ken. “Not this whole “for the experience” crap!” I know it’s a lie, your probably just leading us out into the woods so we can rot or something like that.”
“Ken, don’t be stupid.” Damon replied calmly. “If I wanted to do that, I would of never given you pokemon when we met. Plus, I would of abandoned you in Ridge Woods and in Liechi. You really need to stop the drama, Ken. It gets you nowhere.”

You also need to start using the enter button more. Double space after every paragraph. You do it sometimes, but not all the time. It makes it look like you weren't paying attention or something, and I know you were.

“ That’s the way the weather is. All a part of being prepared and expecting the unexpected.” Damon chimed in.

Extra space between the quotation mark and the word.

Description is still lacking some. I know it might seem funny coming from me, but you really didn't describe enough here. You know what I mean. Just work on that some, okay?

“THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM!” Sophie shouted in anger.

I've seen this a lot lately. Try "shouted Sophie angrily." or something like that.

Meh, now that I've got that out of the way I can get on to the good.

It's a new chapter! ...What? Okay, I'll do the real thing...

I liked the storm. Weather really adds an extra dimension to a fic, and I'm a big fan of it everywhere. Well, almost everywhere.

The cave scene was also pretty interesting. I really don't know what's going on or anything (like I would) but my bet is that it's an Onix or something. Must have been pretty strong to get Amp out of the way.

Yeah...well I guess that's about it. Good chapter, but please don't make me wait another three months for the next chapter, okay?
 
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