1. We have moved to a new forum system. All your posts and data should have transferred over. Welcome, to the new Serebii Forums. Details here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders
    Dismiss Notice

The Kyurem Chronicles (PG-14)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Yeti, Dec 12, 2010.

  1. Yeti

    Yeti Banned

    I'd rank this as PG-14, if it was on TV there's nothing in this you wouldn't see in a show rated around that. Prologue contains more sexual content than the rest of it will and even then.. 8|
    I wrote this all myself. And no there is no hidden insult towards someone or other I dislike. If you can read enough into my story to find one....... all I have to say is why dude.
    All opinions and comments (legitimate critiques, not just OMG YETI TROLLS FOR LYF rages) are welcome - I am a writer by nature and would appreciate thoughts on what I produce.
    This story is a WIP, meaning once I have the next chapter done, I will post it. I will update at least once a month, I start a new quarter at college so we'll have to see my workload then.
    This story is NOT centric around the characters presented in the prologue. They appear in the story again, but it is not about them. You'll see with Chapter One. So if you don't like HGSS Rockets, then don't leave yet because this isn't really about them. This is not a shipping story either, but there's like maybe 1, maybe 2 Clonegeuse fics so I had to toss in a small bit of it.
    Thanks for clicking, leave a review/crit/adoration/etc if you could, enjoy :)

    The Kyurem Chronicles
    Prologue

    She stood at the bus stop, as instructed the night before, when he’d called her at half past one and quickly spat out a jumbled sequence of directions. Archer had extracted all the money from his bank accounts, and as he’d summed it up, was leaving. To where, Ariana wasn’t sure.

    Things had fallen apart so quickly. The Radio Tower went up in smoke, literally. Once they had evacuated it, Proton had detonated a bomb, which of course made them terrorists. They were just loyal executives hunting for their fallen leader. Archer didn’t even control the majority of Rockets who remained. Most were still in Kanto, spread out across the stronger infrastructure the region had. And those Kanto executives had no desire to return Giovanni to power.

    Now there was nothing to do except run. Petrel had scurried off, probably to find some drag bar he could hole up in with a new lover for a few months, faking a new identity. It wouldn’t matter to him what gender he hooked up with, or even what gender he posed as. As long as he had his creature comforts and make up. The glamour of villainy was what had drawn him in.

    As police had swarmed Goldenrod, Ariana had lost sight of Archer, left screaming at Proton for his idiotic decision. She vaguely heard someone yell her name as another explosion went off and the other two Rockets presumably fled, but it was too late to turn back. When one began their run from the cops, incompetent as they were, one didn’t stop.

    She had been living off the cash she’d had on her, when everything had crumbled from underneath them, staying in sleazy motels progressively farther and farther from the scene of the executives’ final moments together, but not far enough Archer couldn’t find her if he wanted to.

    With the news her daughter had vanished, most likely into some alternate dimension rumored to be the reverse of their world, in search of her psychopathic boss still fresh on her mind, and the loss of her daughter’s father from her immediate presence, she was lost. There was no Team Rocket to return to. She was much too proud to limp back to the Kanto executives and beg for a position. She thought she had spotted Proton a time or two, smashed off his face and staggering about while two poorly-dressed women, missing teeth and coated in cheap foundation, rubbed against him.

    But she didn’t want to see Proton. Had Petrel recognized her, for she certainly wouldn’t have been able to recognize him through whatever new disguise he was using, perhaps she would have allied with him, if only for the time being. He was quieter than Proton, though equally as much of a pervert and sexual sadist. He’d never dream of touching her – as he’d told her personally, she was much too old to get him up.

    When he’d hinted her daughter was just the right age, Archer had dislocated Petrel’s jaw.

    Proton was less certain. He’d grind against anything that moved and he didn’t care what he contracted. He was physically darker in his actions than Petrel, who preferred his deceptive world of mental corruption.

    It was Archer she had wanted to find, wanted to run away with to some deserted mountain cabin. Archer who had always treated her well and, she had liked to think, truly loved her. He was the father of her child, not Petrel and not Proton.

    A week had passed by, and she hadn’t been able to find him or hear any rumors of sightings of him, and she’d briefly wondered if perhaps he was rotting in some jail cell, but there’d have been news about that. If only to lure in any loyal Rockets who would attempt to break him out.

    She wondered if he’d died in the explosion, but he must have been alive, because it was most definitely him who had scolded Proton.

    And then the motel had relayed a call to her room, stating one gentleman named Apollo was seeking his cousin, Athena. She had kept the little-used codename, booking motels under the name, in the hopes that if he tried to look for her, he’d look for his ‘cousin Athena’.

    They weren’t really cousins, of course. But police never suspected family members were actually criminal mastermind lovers.

    Between one and two in the morning, Archer had finally found the hotel she was staying at, after what he’d stated was several days of calling various inns in the area. He had sounded aggravated, and was very short with her. His instructions had been to pack everything she still had, bring enough change for the bus fare, and meet him at the stop she was now standing at.
    The last thing he’d mumbled, almost as an afterthought as he was placing the phone back upon the table, had sounded an awful lot like “I missed you, love”. But one could never be sure with villains, ever the masters of deceptive words.

    She’d been standing protectively above her lone suitcase, clutching an old but worn purse, fidgeting with the Pokeballs inside it as she waited for the bus. Ariana had arrived at the stop an hour earlier than he’d said, in case perhaps he was early as well, or simply didn’t want to wait. With each bus that came and went, she grew more concerned he wouldn’t show at all, or that he’d turned her over to the police in exchange for his freedom.

    Finally the next bus rolled in, and she caught a glimpse of his face in the window, eagle eyes scanning the stop for her before connecting. She had walked on as he got up to greet her, leading her back to his seat and carrying her suitcase for her like a true gentleman would.

    The first words out of her mouth were, “I was so afraid I’d never see you again and you were dead or worse, you just didn’t care.” They blurted out, muted and hushed, so nobody sitting around them would hear. He glanced up at her, looking almost shy, and reached out with his right hand to stroke her face.

    “Ariana, all I did was call motel after motel looking for you, when I wasn’t securing my assets and finding a proper place to stay until this blows over,” he tenderly whispered, tilting his head to look at the small scar behind her left eye that was from Proton’s bomb going off. She avoided eye contact, unable to look at him knowing that the flawless beauty he’d so cherished was now marred.

    “I understand if you can’t handle the scar. I don’t know if it’ll heal or not. I’ll leave if–” she had mournfully begun before he silenced her, pressing his soft lips against hers. He tasted like cherries, as always, due to his chapstick. Archer was a man who valued beauty and perfection. He had first been attracted to her due to her flawless complexion and skin.

    “Don’t. It will heal. Even if it doesn’t, you’re not going anywhere. You’re the mother of my sole heir, though Mars happens to be in the Distortion World for the moment. And do you know why?” he paused, giving her the look she knew meant he didn’t expect an answer from her and he was about to tell her why, he simply wanted to know she was focused solely on him.

    “She’s there because some idiot in charge of a vast empire of manpower didn’t realize what he had and what he never could have. Not everything is perfect nor will it ever be. Sometimes we have to deal with flaws. I’ll deal with a tiny scar.”

    He reached his hand out to trace a thin finger over the cut. She shuddered involuntarily, having missed his delicate but iron grip. He stopped talking for a while, and she couldn’t bring herself to speak. If Archer had something to discuss, he would broach the subject and she would respond. That was always how it was.

    Finally he rose, extending his hand to her to help her up. Ariana stood, grabbing her few belongings as he walked off the bus with his. She looked around at the ice-covered field. It was the middle of spring, and this area of Johto was remote but certainly not prone to cold snaps.

    And then she realized what it was.

    “Do you think we should go back? We should deal with this before it gets out of hand. We would be dealing with it, if everything hadn’t crumbled,” she warily asked, instinctively knowing he was asking for her to speak first, to get a feeling for what she was inclined to do.

    “No. Let everyone else deal with it. We handled enough. The imbeciles in Kanto can fix this. We’re not responsible for this one. Come, the walk to the cabin isn’t long,” Archer scowled, voice cold but eyes warm as he extended his free hand to her.

    They walked until they reached it. The screeches of what could only be one, unique creature trumpeted across the frozen land. Ariana turned around and glanced behind them once, commenting that the ice field was spreading.
    Archer had told her it didn’t matter. The cabin was provisioned with enough thermal heaters they would have no problems. It was someone else’s to deal with. He was not going to go looking for the solution, and by default, neither was she.

    He had unlocked the door for her, held it open, bowed slightly as she walked in. None of that mattered to her. The only thing she cared about anymore was ensuring this was real, he was actually in front of her, locking the lone way out of the cabin, sealing them in, sealing the rampant frost out. And so as she had many times before, she lightly grabbed his collar, leading him to the bedroom as he quite willingly followed.

    She pushed him down onto the bed, a motion so familiar to her it registered as another necessity in her mind, like eating or brushing her pristine hair. His tongue entered her mouth quickly, as though he had longed to be intimate with her once again as much as she had.

    Both were soon too consumed with pleasuring the other for the metallic, wounded screech that reverberated off the hills throughout the iced-over land to register in their minds.

    And that cry set all the following events into motion.
     
  2. Pinsirius

    Pinsirius Sentimental Fool ;)

    Having never played HGSS and only knowing these four through pre-release stuff, I have got to say this easily the best look into the Rocket pathos I've ever read. Their divided, their buearucratic, they think they're sophisticated yet can't stand to the heart of a ten-year old trainer.

    And as always... Cyrus, what the hell. Leave it to magically-related (?) Mars to get stuck in the Distortion World.
     
  3. Karpi

    Karpi Forever a pirate

    Your mention of Mars makes me wonder if there's not a big conspiracy beyond what's obvious...

    I will likely keep reading!
     
  4. Breezy

    Breezy Well-Known Member

    tl;dr version: Problematic areas were clarity, especially with sentences where you strung clause after clause after clause together. You also tend to use "had" a lot. I enjoyed your take on Ariana and her vulnerable side and the twist on Mars being her and Archer's daughter. I also liked your interpretations of the characters and Ariana's thoughts on them. Lastly, try experimenting with your writing style so the story can be more than just background dumping.

    The second sentence is an incomplete sentence, and while I'm usually able to pick up on when someone purposely inserts a sentence fragment for emphasis reasons, I'm pretty sure you're not doing that here. You're better off combining it with the first sentence:

    It wouldn’t matter to him what gender he hooked up with, or even what gender he posed as, as long as he had his creature comforts and make up.​

    I guess I get you didn't want to have that double "as" in there. I guess you could interchange "posed as" with "was" but that changes the meaning of the sentence a bit. I'm not sure if that bothers you enough.

    This is somewhat vague; I'm not sure if it was Ariana or Archer who was "left screaming" at Proton. I assume it's Archer given the explanation later on, but you still might want to try and clarify it here as well.

    I'm a little lost myself. You might want to play around with different forms of punctuation (parentheses might be the better choice here) so it doesn't seem like this sentence is dragging on. Dashes might work as well. I think the confusion also might be because you threw in an unnecessary comma between "world" and "in."

    With the news her daughter had vanished--most likely into some alternate dimension rumored to be the reverse of their world in search of her psychopathic boss--still fresh on her mind, and the loss of her daughter’s father from her immediate presence, she was lost.​

    Eh, I don't think there's a need to separate the first paragraph here from the second.

    How would Ariana know Archer was placing the phone book back on the table (not unless he told her, which is ... odd)? I, personally, think the sentence would be more powerful without that little descriptive tidbit.

    Not being an expert in the Rockets, would they call themselves villains? Like they're out to cause destruction? I suppose there's an understanding that they are deviant to society, but I think it's a little odd to call yourselves "the bad guys" like that. *shrug* Plus it kind of makes your story a little more melodramatic than needed.

    The most beautiful sentiment ever. =P It is a little ... You know, I do imagine the scene in my head as sweet and touching, and I do assume you wanted it to be sweet and touching, but tacking on that "I only looked for you after I did my own thang" followed by that "tenderly whispered" speech tag makes this sentence seem something out of a romantic parody than something sweet. Maybe Archer would say something like that sweetly? I wouldn't know.

    This is a little redundant since complexion often refers to skin.

    Would Archer refer to his daughter as his sole heir? It's a bit weird, but if it's something the character would say then ...

    Second bold statement is a bit cluttered. I feel you could probably cut out the "and he was about to tell her why" part if Ariana knows what this looks means. The reader, if that's what you're worried about, can also assume that if she wasn't meant to answer, then Archer is.

    The comma in red would be better off as a semicolon or a period to avoid the comma splice you have going on here.

    I kind of wish that this prologue was more "in the moment/present" in combination with Ariana's musings rather than Ariana's musing followed by explanation of that musing. While I did enjoy your interpretation of the Rocket characters and, in particular, the more vulnerable side of Ariana, some of pieces of information seemed tacked on, like you were worried that the reader wouldn't be able to make connections or the reader would complain about "WHY IS BLAH BLAH LIKE THAT?" if you didn't detail everything out. In some sense, I wish you played up more on the bus ride scenes rather than split up the two with Ariana's thoughts on her co-executives or stating that Ariana was moving around from motel to motel. It might have also merged her thought with plot-movement (she's thinking while she's on the bus or waiting for the bus) and also could have avoided some of the more awkward scene transitions from "WHEE ON THE BUS" to "NOW WE OFF THE BUS FIVE SECONDS LATER" (because that's what it appeared to be according to this excerpt):

    I'm not sure how fast that bus was going or how nearby they were if they got from relatively warm place to freezing cold place in what appeared to be five-ten minutes.

    You're also a bit wordy. You tend to do repeat similar words like "complexion and skin" or "muted and hushed." You also use "perhaps" a bit, which kind of holds back your sentence (clarity-wise) rather than pepper it.

    It's kind of whoa.

    Also HAD. I counted at least thirty of 'em ignoring contractions like "he'd."

    There's no difference between that and

    "Once they evacuated, Proton detonated a bomb ..." except word count.

    You know, looking back on this sentence, the "which of course made them terrorists" is a weird afterthought. I'm not sure if it's necessary (it's kind of a given and creates plot holes, like how no one could recognize Ariana who, I believe, hadn't gone to great lengths to disguise herself).

    I suppose the difference could lay with one seems to be more present and the other seems more retrospective. Depends what you're going for. Either way, you could probably clean it up a bit.

    Overall, I really do like your take on the characters (even though they may not be appearing for quite some time). I was intrigued once I realized that Mars' was the daughter of Archer and Ariana and the vagueness of the end of the prologue left me wondering what was going on. Plus a light sexual innuendo scene. Everyone likes those.

    I do think, however, that you could have gotten a better control over the story if you planned the structure out a bit better -- or maybe didn't plan it out at all, start with one point and just kept going with it. Everything seemed a bit too "here's this, now here's what happened before [sub point here's an explanation of that [sub point here's an explanation of the character who did that]], now here's her waiting, now here's the present" instead of a story that seemed to make all these aspects flow together. Though that isn't to say that there's something wrong with the way its structured now. I just believe that you have the capacity to experiment around more since you are a pretty solid writer. I guess what I'm saying is don't be afraid to explore your writing style and figuring out what you like to do and what you don't like to do since you seem to have the basics down.

    I'm curious to see where this is headed next chapter.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2010
  5. Yeti

    Yeti Banned

    I tried to post this last night then the gigantic storm destroyed my internet 8|
    You're really not missing much about the Rockets if you didn't play HGSS. They weren't really a central focus nor did any of them get much personality. I'd say Petrel got the most which is interesting because he's easily the creepiest with his dressing up fetish.
    I prefer delving into the deeper side of villains than telling the kid's side of things. If I like the villain that is. There's just a lot more room for depth and history than there is some kid who sat around for 10 years then got a Pokemon from an old dude and hoofed it to some gyms, to me.

    Well they ARE a couple of psychopaths, do you expect they'd manage to stay out of trouble??
    As the namer of Ariana/Archer, it's only natural I support both, and maintain that Mars is their daughter, considering how much she looks like Ariana and then Archer looks a lot like Cyrus which is why Clonegeuse is so named and you just have to have the two generations and yeah
    this isn't making sense to you non-shippers is it

    I'm quite curious as to what you think the obvious conspiracy is and what you may think the secondary one is as well. To me, it's obvious how the story will go, because I have the story in my head and know what will come next. But I'd like to hear what other people have pulled out of the prologue as the main/secondary plot without knowing all that will happen, before I post the next chapter.

    There's.. nothing you said I don't agree with. It's all valid concerns. And I read the whole thing. It's weird I use 'had' so much because normally I don't, and I also tend to write very "this all happens now" prologues instead of so much reflecting.
    Perhaps I do use 'perhaps' too much. HEH.
    I took your comments into account for Chapter One, which while 'finished' is not something I feel is presentable so I will post it later in this week once I finish revising an essay for college and have time to go and fix it up.
    If I go back and edit the prologue (read: if I ever feel so inclined once I finish everything else) I will definitely make the changes you suggested, there's not one you mentioned that isn't a legitimate error, probably due to my 4 or 5 hours of sleep the night before.

    Thank you all for reading, and a big thanks to those who commented. Glad to see 3 overall positive reviews of the prologue.
    Like I said, Chapter One is 'done' but I don't like it so I will edit it and post it this week. I'm also working on a nice little banner for the story.
    Look forward to Chapter One this week!
     
  6. Pinsirius

    Pinsirius Sentimental Fool ;)

    Given that they seemed to be custom-designed characters serving the same roles as the GSC generic executives, I was afraid of that.

    My problem is that I put aside comparing similar designs within series as asomewhat childish thing a while ago; if their are recurring designers, they are inevitable. If you want to make plot out of it, that's fine.

    So is Clonegeuse Cyrus x Archer (Lawlz!), implying that they're related, or what? I am indeed not a shipper.

    Awright!
     
  7. Yeti

    Yeti Banned

    Yes, HGSS was a bit disappointing in that regard. Though they added in unique sprites for the four executives they provided no significant development of their characters. Quite unlike DPPt which holds a wealth of information for Cyrus, Mars and Charon. A wealth by Pokemon standards that is, especially for villains who are chronically neglected. See: Magma/Aqua finale.

    I think they could've done a bit better. I mean, it's the same generation.. and you just HAD to put in a creepy guy with purple hair (Petrel/Charon), a tall guy with short, light blue hair (Archer/Cyrus), and a red haired chick destined to be with the guy in charge with virtually identical hair (Ariana/Mars)? Like you couldn't make someone's hair orange, indigo, sky blue, yellow, neon green, pink, ANYTHING different??
    The ingame overworld sprites are virtually identical.

    That was confusing for even me (what I said). Clonegeuse is Ariana x Archer, notably in that order. Betelgeuse is Cyrus x Mars. BG was originally named for the red giant star, and obviously was named before seeing as HGSS came way after DP. Due to the original perceived similarity of Athena/Apollo in early HGSS images, Clonegeuse was so named as a 'clone' of its predecessor, mainly under the assumption Ariana and Archer are Mars' parents.
    Few individuals seem to avidly support this and notable instances of it are me and master troll/superior user Katya Ivanova.

    ANYWAY I promised Chapter One this week, and I have a mess of stuff to do tomorrow that involves me not being at home, so much as I dislike posting at 1am PST when nobody is on to read, you'll all see it tomorrow.

    The Kyurem Chronicles
    Chapter One

    Krissy Tarnem strode out of her lavish mansion to wave to her adoring fans. Today was the day she set out to accomplish everything they believed she would. The day she finally left her peaceful, wealthy, urban community of Blanco Heights for her destiny.

    Standing five-five, she was not the most imposing figure, but her overbearing personality commanded enough attention to make up for her lack of visual presence. Two long, pink ponytails cascaded down from the top of her head, while the rest of her golden hair was securely held in a bun and her side swept bangs casually dropped into place.

    The sixteen year old swung her hips as she trotted daintily before the crowd that was present to wish her off onto her journey. Long had the residents of Blanco Heights been told it was their own Krissy Tarnem who would bring a lasting age of peace, balance and prosperity to Unova. The elderly council of Unova often consulted them on how Krissy was raised, to ensure she would turn out to be the proper heroine they expected. Even her family had been moved from a less ritzy city to Blanco Heights, one of the most elite and notable communities of Unova, in celebration of her ‘chosen one’ status.

    Krissy performed the smooth, clipped motions with her right hand she had been taught. It was the proper wave for someone of wealth and power in Unova, and was deemed a required skill for any chosen one to possess. As she grew up, the elders almost exclusively taught her the mannerisms, thought processes, mindsets, and social customs of the rich and noble. Few of her lessons had centered on Pokemon and battling.

    She had won several tournaments, but she had been given top-notch Pokemon by the elders and there were always rumors circulating that anyone who intentionally beat her would be tossed in jail. Krissy held a special place in tabloids’ columns. They often dedicated pages to new conspiracies and gossip centered on Unova’s prissiest chosen one. The most popular subjects of discussion regarding Krissy were her ‘rigged’ tournaments.

    It didn’t matter to Krissy – she was famous one way or another. She was the one destined to stop a giant, metal bug from destroying Unova by successfully capturing one of the two legendary dragons. One of the elders theorized if she proved herself worthy enough, she would be permitted to capture both. It was not a commonly predicted outcome though, and most of the council favored her capture of Reshiram over Zekrom.

    Of course it had to be a mutated insect. It couldn’t be some nice thunderstorm or giant chunk of rock like other regions suffered from. She supposed that beating the one Pokemon feared above all others in Unova would bring her much more fame than just stopping a rampaging storm would have. Thus, Krissy Tarnem had no problem with her chosen destiny.
    The lone sentiment that haunted her about it consisted solely of the infamous Rocket leader’s words, spoken shortly before he had vanished off the face of the planet. “We dictate our own destinies as much as we run others’ into the ground.”

    It stuck with her: the possibility someone else could forcibly insert their way into her story. The chance she could spend her whole life sitting on her throne, heralded as the savior of Unova, yet when it came time to stop a menacing threat, someone would beat her to it. She hated it. She hated being second best.

    If there was one thing Krissy Tarnem was not, it was second place.
    Krissy was established, snooty, well-off, treasured, important, a winner, and, above all else, the sole person capable of stopping Unova’s biggest threat. Even Team Plasma’s mediocre attempts to capture Zekrom and Reshiram paled in comparison to the challenge she would overcome.

    She had the best Pokemon by her side, the best upbringing, and the best elders backing her as the chosen one. Krissy didn’t see a single thing that could go wrong. It was going to be her destiny, her future, and she’d eliminate anyone who got in her way.

    When she was seven, she had been given a shiny Jaroda, fully evolved and trained, to protect her and begin her experiences with Pokemon. At first she scoffed at the snake, stating that no self-respecting chosen one should be plagued with something that slithered on the ground. Her Jaroda had swiftly proven to be a formidable opponent, and Krissy soon came to respect his power. Jaroda was an asset to her destiny, and after nine years, her most trusted Pokemon. The snake’s personality matched her own, and his determination to be a notable member of her team fueled her own desire for greatness.

    Though she was often loaned various Pokemon for various tournaments, the elders had sought out the strongest of the strong for her to keep at all times. Having a strong sense of pride in Unova, four of her five Pokemon were native to the region; the fifth she had demanded for its beauty.

    Krissy had requested her second Pokemon, a prim and proper Doredia, citing its appealing form. Her Doredia was scatterbrained and skittish, but a strong contender in battles. The grass type took no excuses for improper behavior, and was swift to launch a well-aimed Petal Dance should anything rub her the wrong way. The elders forced a Sazandora upon her next, claiming Sazandora was one of Unova’s best-known and strongest Pokemon. Any good chosen one would be honored to have the hydra on her team, and indeed Krissy’s Sazandora had proven his worth numerous times. He was the most feared of her Pokemon, partly because Krissy had raised him with an interesting assortment of moves, making Sazandora an unpredictable titan.

    The elders had suggested Shandera, and Krissy willingly agreed to the chandelier Pokemon. Its swift fire moves were strong assets on her team, and whenever she was faced with a double or triple battle, Krissy sent out Shandera without fail. The ghost was a bit flighty, however, and had a phobia of other ghost types. Krissy had forced the issue with her last Pokemon, demanding the one she found to be the most beautiful – a Milotic. Despite its Hoenn origins, the elders had purchased a well-bred Feebas and had the fish shipped over, presenting Krissy with a powerful, glamorous Milotic that suited her all too well. Her last Pokeball remained empty, awaiting the capture of whichever dragon elected to accompany her.

    Taking only her five Pokemon, Krissy was ready for the next day in her already-fabulous life. Today she set out, leaving Blanco Heights and all the creature comforts it afforded behind. Tomorrow, after a swift but elegant pace, she would be that much closer to the Dragon Spiral Tower.

    The adoring citizens of Blanco Heights shouted hoots of approval her direction as she confidently walked by them. Even if she was concerned someone would pass her by and capture one of the dragons from under her nose, it would never do to let the gossipy crowd know. Krissy maintained a strict attitude of complete certainty, never showing fear she couldn’t do it.

    There was no turning back if she failed, either. If the ‘chosen one’, heralded by the most influential people of Unova, could not complete her goal and capture one of the dragons to save the region, she may as well leave and never come back. Blanco Heights would be filled with scowling, discouraged, distrusting faces instead of the blindly loyal, adoring fans waving her on. Some nights, when the town’s partying habits kept her awake, she’d laugh in her bed at how fickle they were.

    She could make a decent living winning tournaments in one of the older regions, should Krissy wind up a failure. Before any disgruntled Unova residents could chase her down, she would be out of the region with her five Pokemon. They would easily win small-scale championships, and she could live a fairly notable life in a battle-happy region like Sinnoh.

    Krissy hoped with all she was things would not come to that. The only thing that frightened Unova’s chosen one was a fall from grace. Her name was commonplace already. If she succeeded in beating a giant bug, Krissy could expect to see her name plastered in bright lights across every city. Tales of her amazing feats would spread to Sinnoh, Hoenn, and beyond. There had been other trainers selected to accomplish great undertakings before, but none who had lived their whole life with the knowledge they would be fighting the ultimate battle.

    She was special. She was raised to be a winner. She had been pruned of all undesirable traits the elders didn’t want to see. Krissy would become the representative face of Unova, more so than the champion was. Unova’s champion was in a constant state of flux anyway, and the public were eagerly awaiting a name to get behind. As Sinnoh had Cynthia, Unova would have Krissy. It was already anticipated after her glorious defeat of a robotic bug, she would defeat the old champion and become the new one.

    Krissy would be the face of Unova. If she wasn’t, she’d cut her losses and fly off, never looking back.

    Chosen ones dealt in absolutes. They were heroes who defeated villains. They helped a legendary Pokemon to strike down a threat. They succeeded and became celebrated, or they never showed their face again. That was what the elders taught her. She won, or she lost.

    Reshiram agreed to help her, she found this metal bug, Reshiram used Blue Flame, and it was all over. There was little room for error because there was little chance to screw it up.

    As she concluded her musings, Krissy came upon the edge of Blanco Heights. Once she walked beyond the last house, she was out of her nest. Kicked out of the safety she’d been raised in and sent on her own. There was a reason her title was ‘chosen ONE’. Krissy Tarnem was going it alone.

    The only assistance came in the form of her Pokemon, and eventually whichever dragon agreed to fight beside her. There would be no more tests, no more staged battles, no more rigged tournaments, no more classes, and no more lessons.

    All the etiquette and social cues taught to her would serve her no purpose. By the time Krissy realized she was entirely unprepared for what lay before her, she had already been enthusiastically shoved out of Blanco Heights. Glancing behind her to the mass of cheering people, the fleeting thought that she would fall flat on her face darted away, and her usual confidence returned.

    Krissy smiled, pristine white teeth glimmering in the sunlight, and threw up a hand to give a cropped wave. A socialite never extended her hand too far to the left or right: it looked uncontrolled. Krissy was nothing if not controlled. Her facial expressions had taken days of practice in the mirror to master. All her faces were scripted, to be brought out whenever appropriate. All situations had faces, and she knew each one. Her walks were dictated. A bouncy, cheerful walk whenever she went socializing, hitting the rich scene of Unova. A confident, long stride for tournament battles. A high-kicking, leg extending jog for exercising. A casual but cocky trot in front of her adoring public.

    She turned around and faced the path in front of her. Blanco Heights was behind her, and a legendary dragon was in front of her. Cropped jeans held tight around her legs, rigid and firm, as she strode forward. They had been pressed to hold their shape, dark indigo against pale skin. Her cream and pink top hugged her chest and pooled at her waist, long sleeves trailing behind her. With matching pink sneakers, Krissy was the epitome of Unova fashion. Everything coordinated, holding its shape precisely.

    An hour into her long march to glory, a branch snapped and fell to the ground behind her, and she jolted a foot forward. It was the first sound she had heard besides throngs of fans shouting she could do it or her own footsteps. Nervously looking around, she figured it was simply a Pokemon in the trees, and proceeded on.

    The second time she jumped half a foot, and whirled quickly to view what was behind her. A purple-haired man leaned against a tree, wearing an ugly smirk. He eyed her, gaze lingering on certain areas of her body as his leering grin widened.

    “You’re the princess, eh?” he chuckled, rasping voice wheezing out as he took a step forward. His black leather jacket stretched against the movement of his chest. She glared indignantly at him and reached for her Jaroda.

    “I’m not a princess, but I am someone you shouldn’t mess with,” her eyes narrowed as his smile grew larger still, eyes lighting up. The grass snake emerged from its Pokeball and promptly reared to his full height, staring down at the tall, lanky man half in the shadows.

    “That so? You happen to know that other girl who ‘saved’ this cesspool of a region?” he drawled, pupils dilating as he seemed to disappear into a memory in his head. Krissy’s right foot moved back on its own accord.

    “I’ve met her once or twice. And Unova is not a cesspool,” she huffed, signaling Jaroda to move between her and the man.

    “Could’ve fooled me with the tramps you raise. She used to be something, you know. Then they ran me outta Johto and now here I am, coming home to a nice little lady like her every night and getting my kicks,” he laughed throatily, purple hair trembling slightly as a wheeze racked his body.

    “I’m sure,” was all Krissy could think to retort with. It was true there had been rumors White was seeing someone, but there was no way she’d be so dumb as to get involved with this unsavory fellow.

    “I’ve got pictures, if you’d like to see. Videos, too. Turns out she likes to watch what we did the night before when we’re doing it again,” his smirk widened yet again, and Krissy was positive if it grew anymore he’d rip his lips.

    “I’d rather not. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” she attempted to turn around, but his sudden movement forward cut her off.

    “C’mon, no reason to be so hasty. Most girls like spendin’ time with Petrel. He makes everyone feel loved,” and then it clicked. He was one of the Rockets, one of the four outcast Johto executives who blew up the Radio Tower.

    “You recognized me, huh? Took my name, didn’t it? Yeah sure we blew up some giant tower. Was mostly Proton, he laid the bombs and pulled the trigger. Don’t you worry, I gave him a thorough lesson that night about pulling triggers. Nah, he enjoyed it just as much as I did, his walk was a bit stiff the next morning but he’s fine,” Petrel chuckled to himself and Krissy suddenly felt even more unsafe. She whispered to her Jaroda to prepare a Leaf Storm, but Petrel seemed to take the hint.

    “You should leave now,” Krissy warned, ready to snap her fingers and give Jaroda the cue to attack.

    “I see how it is. Too young and clueless to want the company of such low-class folk as me, huh? I’ll go in peace, no need to sic your snake on me. I think you’ll be surprised what you find in that tower. All that glitters is gold if you paint it. Might wanna take a few scratches at your jewelry once you’re home,” he winked, and laughing to himself at some old joke, retreated into the darkness of the forest, never taking his eyes off her.

    “Creep. Jaroda, stay out just in case that guy comes back with any of his friends,” she commanded, and the snake nodded his head. They carried on in silence, no more breaking branches signifying she was followed, though she was rather certain Petrel was simply taking care not to alert her to his presence again.

    Jaroda shot his head up, slithering up a tree and staring into the distance. He hissed triumphantly. Krissy grasped his tail and he pulled her up, red eyes tiny and focused. Far off, she saw the Dragon Spiral Tower, hazy in the heat of the day, with her own creamy pink eyes. It seemed it would take her several days more than anticipated to walk the distance, so she reached for the Pokeball holding her Sazandora. As the dragon-type emerged, grasping the thick branches of the tree, she recalled Jaroda and pointed at the spire.

    “That’s where we’re going Sazandora.”


    So we have Petrel showing up, and what appears to be a prominent original character is introduced. Yeah sorry I couldn't find a character I liked well enough to use so you get Krissy Tarnem instead of White or Black or Bel or whoever else is in the game.
    As always, reviews/criticism/comments are welcome and highly sought after. Please feel free to speculate on what you think the overall plot will turn out to be and what you think will be going down, and be sure to tell me what you think of Krissy. She's still fairly shapeable as a character.

    Thanks for reading, expect Chapter Two in the near future.
     

Share This Page