Chibi Pika
Stay positive
Sorry for killing everyone with that extra. Does it make it any better if it ripped my heart out to draw it? No? Okay. :<
(Thanks tons for the reactions, though.)
(Thanks tons for the reactions, though.)
Would she, indeed?
I'm actually really glad you noticed this, because I made me realize that it's going to be important to the next arc (Jade making a situation about herself, and then later regretting it.) However, that said, I was never too pleased with her reaction there, and I think I'll be editing it slightly. I do like the idea of her failing at sympathy due to being so overwhelmed, but I think I overdid it. I'm much happier with her reaction to Chibi in Chapter 23.
Well, here it is. The infamous “Chapter 13” subplot, and the only thing left from LC’s original draft. It’s quite a bit different that it was 15 years ago, though! That’s probably a good thing.
We’re closing in on the end here! Only two more arcs until the end of Book 1!
~Chapter 23: Betrayal~
Sunlight filtered in through a crack in the curtains, falling across my face and slowly dragging me out of a heavy sleep. I blinked several times, putting a hand over my face to keep the sunbeam from stinging my eyes. It felt like I’d been hit by a truck. I honestly wasn’t sure whether I’d slept for five minutes or five days. Hazy memories started bubbling to the surface of my mind, one after another. The stadium engulfed in flames. Gunshots. Moltres. Running for our lives. Razors…
I shivered. That was… one hell of a nightmare.
I sat up and squinted at my surroundings as my eyes adjusted to the light. And then a chill fell over me. This wasn’t my room. I was in a small, cabin-style dormitory filled with beds, half of which were occupied by other members of the Rebellion.
So then… all of that from last night… that all really happened?
I collapsed back against the pillows like a heavy weight had just been dropped on me. All of that had really happened. The Rebellion was over. Nearly half the team was gone. Razors was gone. Stalker had disappeared.
But those of us who had escaped… we were still alive. I was so sure we’d be targeted here, I just hadn’t had the energy to deal with it last night.
Both Swift and Firestorm were already awake, the former gazing out the window and the latter idly playing with his tail flame. Aros and Stygian were curled up on the carpet near the doorway in a way that had probably made it difficult for anyone else to enter the room. The Absol’s coat was spotless, and it was impossible to tell that she’d been ashy and bloodstained the previous night. She must’ve spent most of the night cleaning herself.
Swift took that opportunity to push off from the windowsill and glide over to the bed, landing alongside me.
“*Morning,*” he chirped.
“Morning,” I replied automatically, glancing around the room once more. I had apparently set my Pokéballs on one of the tables by the doorway, judging by the fact that there were three of them sitting on the polished wooden surface next to a black hybrid ball. The latter of which was currently open.
“Where’s Chibi?” I asked warily.
At my words, Stygian partially opened a single eye to stare at me before yawning widely and sitting up. “*He broke out halfway through the night and ran off,*” the Absol said, rubbing a paw against her face.
Honestly, I couldn’t even blame him. Not after the way I’d spent an entire week holed up in my room. I only hoped he wouldn’t get spotted by the wrong people. He was usually pretty careful, but… in his current state…
“*I can’t pretend to know how he’s feeling,*” Aros said, sitting up suddenly with an alertness that made me doubt he’d really been asleep. “*The hybrids were always a lot closer with each other than the rest of us. We just gotta give him space.*”
Give him space… All right. I could do that.
A crushing emptiness had settled into the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t stop seeing it happen, over and over in my mind. Couldn’t stop seeing the look on Chibi’s face when it had happened. It felt like my heart was going to collapse inward on itself.
“I should have done something.”
The experiments tilted their heads in confusion, but Swift seemed to know what I was talking about. He stepped closer to me and gently asked, “*What should you have done?*”
“I don’t know. Something. Razors is dead and I watched it happen and I couldn’t do anything, but I should have figured something out,” I said, burying my face in my hands.
“*Please don’t blame yourself,*” the Pidgeotto said quietly. “*Not after everything you’ve been through.*”
I didn’t have anything to say to that. Not while my gut felt like it’d been punched and my hands were already soaked with tears.
“*Why didn’t you send us out?*” Firestorm murmured. Not this again.
“It wasn’t safe,” I muttered, wiping my eyes. That horrible feeling of paralysis flashed through my memory. Wanting to send someone out and fight back, but knowing I’d just be getting them killed.
“*But… I could have helped—*”
“You would have been shot,” I replied in what was probably a harsher tone than necessary, but I wasn’t in the best mindset to be tactful. The Charmeleon froze like he’d been slapped, then looked away and said nothing.
I put a hand to my forehead. “Sorry, sorry, it’s just… I don’t think I could handle losing any of you. Rudy’s going through that right now, and—”
“*Wait, what?*” Firestorm said, looking up suddenly.
“Wartortle,” I replied. The name said it all.
The Charmeleon blinked at me in confusion like I’d just told him the moon was square. “*Was he just… not strong enough…?*”
“Yeah, well maybe it wasn’t his fault he never got any training because no one ever thought he was worth anything, alright?” I snapped, slamming a fist against my knee. Rudy hadn’t thought so, and I hadn’t cared, and now he was dead, and no one could fix that, and I was completely not in the mood to deal with Firestorm’s stupid strength obsession. Even though I was his trainer, it was my job to deal with it, but dammit, not now. Later. I’d deal with it later. I had more pressing concerns. Like figuring out what to do with myself from now on.
I took a deep breath to steady myself and looked over each of my Pokémon, but then my eyes fell on the two clones. Figuring out what I was gonna do was one thing, but what about them?
“I… I’m not sure what you two want to do now,” I said awkwardly. “The Rebellion is over. That kind of rules out staying on Midnight Island.”
Aros folded his arms, throwing a sideways glance out the window. “*Might’ve crossed my mind, yeah,*” he said. Stygian had suddenly become very interested in licking her already spotless claws.
“I don’t know if there’s anywhere you’ve wanted to go? Both of your species aren’t even from this region, so…”
The Flygon tossed his head indignantly. “*You don’t expect us to make a living in the wild, do you? You know there’s nothing wild about us.*”
“*I was raised by humans, and I lived in the wild just fine,*” Firestorm pointed out.
“*Yeah, well you weren’t made by humans, were you?*” the dragon retorted, pointing a claw at the Charmeleon.
I really didn’t see how that was relevant to anything. “Look, I don’t care if you’re clones, alright? Where do you want to live? We can’t just leave you at the Pokémon Center.”
Aros peered at me through his red eye lenses, his expression hard to place. Finally, he said, “*Well then, given our choices, I think we could make do with having a trainer for now.*”
A heavy pause followed. I blinked at him, mouth agape, while my brain processed the implications of what he’d just said.
“Wait, what?”
The Flygon folded his arms. “*There’s no place for us in the wild, and I still have business with the Rockets. Sticking with you right now is easiest.*” So I was just a means to an end, then.
My eyes traced the floor back and forth as I struggled to think of a response. “I… guess that makes sense?” Aros nodded in a self-satisfied way, like he’d sure showed me. “But seriously, you’re both on board with this?” I asked, throwing a bewildered look at Stygian, who’d been silent the whole time.
The Absol cracked one eye open, glancing at me out of its corner. “*As far as humans go, you’re not absolutely terrible,*” she offered.
I smiled weakly. “Thanks.” That might have been the nicest thing she’d ever said to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I couldn’t just spend all day in the trainer’s dorm. Eventually, I had to make my way outside. I recalled all my Pokémon except for Aros, who didn’t have a Pokéball (I would need to get one for him at some point) before wandering toward the hallway to the lobby. On the way, I happened to pass by a floor-length mirror and caught a glimpse of my reflection out of the corner of my eye, which made me stop.
I looked like a mess. Still dressed in the same clothes I’d been sleeping in before the attack—an oversized t-shirt and drawstring pants that were now thoroughly torn on the legs—crumpled under a dirt and ash-covered jacket. A tangled pile of too-long blonde hair hung around my face (why hadn’t I noticed that it needed cutting until now?), and my eyes held a strange heaviness that I hadn’t seen before.
I didn’t look fourteen anymore. And not just because I was turning fifteen in two weeks. There was something else. It felt like I’d lived four years in the past four months, and that fact was plastered all over my face, even though I couldn’t really describe why.
With a long, slow exhale, I forced myself away from the mirror. No sense dwelling on pointless things like that.
The Pokécenter lobby wasn’t quite as packed as it had been last night, though there were still plenty of rebels and Pokémon and cops around. The overwhelming haze of grief and horror from the previous night had mellowed out into a lingering aura of calm, cold despair that hung in the air like a wet blanket. Some of the kids were talking with the police. Others were talking quietly amongst themselves in hushed, scared voices, glancing around frequently. Others sat alone, staring out the window in silence. I noticed Darren in the third category. Well, not quite alone; his Sneasel was next to him, making a game of jumping on and off the couch repeatedly.
Darren glanced up at me as I approached. “How’d you sleep?” he asked.
“I feel like I woke up from a coma and all of this is fake,” I said, unceremoniously flopping onto the couch with my arms hanging over the back.
“Ah… you too?” he replied.
I exhaled through the nose in a rough approximation of a laugh before leaning my head back against the couch cushion and rubbing my temples. Sneasel began idly clawing at the edge of my jacket. I didn’t remotely care enough to tell her to stop.
“Where’s Rudy?” I asked.
Darren nodded over his shoulder in the direction of the hallway I’d come from. “He requested a private room. Hasn’t come out yet.” He paused for a few seconds, then added, “I tried knocking but he didn’t answer.”
I gave a hollow laugh. “Can’t really blame him.” Not after what I did last week.
“He wouldn’t talk to me last night either. I don’t think he likes me much. I mean, that doesn’t bother me, it’s just…” His voice trailed off.
I furrowed my brow, like I was focusing on some hard to make out detail on the ceiling. A couple times I opened my mouth like I was going to say something, but no words came.
“I mean, it’s cool. You two were friends before all this. I get it,” Darren went on, with a tone that sounded like he was talking to no one in particular. Sneasel abandoned my jacket to jump in his lap, and he stroked her ear feathers absently.
“Are all your Pokémon alright?” I blurted out suddenly.
Darren blinked. “They’re fine. Kadabra saved our butts on more than one occasion.”
“Oh. That’s good.”
An awkward silence followed as I struggled to find something, anything to say. Anything we could have normally talked about felt pointless and inane right now, though.
After what felt like ages, Darren broke the silence. “I know it probably seems like I’m taking all this pretty well. Guess I’m not that great at expressing this kind of thing, huh?”
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye without moving my head. He was staring out the window with an expression that was hard to place.
“It’s a lot to take in,” I finally said.
“Part of me’s grateful that my team and I got out of it as well as we did. I know that sounds terrible, but… I can’t help thinking it, y’know?” He paused, frowning. “Hang on, you didn’t lose any Pokémon, right?”
My Pokémon… Razors wasn’t my Pokémon.
“No,” I said, my voice hollow.
Darren let out a breath. “Okay. Just checking. Didn’t wanna say anything like that if you were in the same boat as Rudy.”
And then, in that moment, for whatever reason, I was hit with the crushing realization that everything I’d based my life around had completely and totally fallen apart, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do from now on.
“What are you gonna do now?” I asked, suddenly turning to face him. “I guess… what were you gonna do before the Rebellion? Rudy was always out for the whole ‘win the League, be a competitive battler’ deal, but I don’t think I’ve ever asked you.”
Darren crossed his arms behind his head with a thoughtful look. “I just wanted to get out of Celadon. See the rest of Kanto, maybe travel to other regions. I was tired of living in a town run by Rockets. Probably sounds silly that I joined an anti-Rocket team after wanting to get away from them, but”—the corners of his mouth curled up—“Stalker was pretty persuasive when I met him.”
“You can say that again,” I said with a dry laugh.
“What about you? You’ve never struck me as the competitive battling type.”
I chuckled under my breath. “Definitely not.” Why had I wanted to become a trainer? I could only think of the reasons why I’d decided to become a rebel. But before that… before Team Rocket, before Entei… what were my goals then?
“I only wanted to go on a journey because everyone else was,” I said slowly as the memories came drifting back. “I hated being left behind. All my closest friends were older than me, except for Rudy. So they all left years ago.”
That was it, wasn’t it? That’s all I’d really wanted back then. To meet up with Ajia and Starr and travel around with them. The idea was almost laughable now. Like something out of a fantasy.
I took a deep breath, trying to clear my thoughts. The question of what to do next resurfaced in my mind, and I was again reminded that I had no idea what to do with myself.
“Did you read Stalker’s text?” I asked.
Darren nodded.
“Are you gonna join him?”
He paused to consider the question. “Nah. I think, after all this… I’d kind of like to actually go on that journey. It’s not as exciting as fighting Rockets, but I’ve kind of had enough excitement for a while, y’know?” He made eye contact with me. “What about you?”
After what happened last night? Half my brain was screaming to get out of the fight against Team Rocket and never look back. But what else was I supposed to do? What other options did I have at this point?
I could go home. Leave it all behind. Pretend I’d never met Stalker or joined his team. Pretend I didn’t know that Team Rocket was brainwashing Legendaries in preparation for a regional takeover. But would it really be safe to stay anywhere for extended periods of time from now on? Especially back in Viridian, the heart of the organization? No, no it wouldn’t. If anything, I’d just be a danger to everyone around me.
I couldn’t go home. I couldn’t stay in one spot. I had to keep moving. And I owed it to my Pokémon to continue training—especially the experiments. But where would I go? I couldn’t just wander without any sort of destination. Sure, trainers did that all the time, but I wasn’t a real trainer. I didn’t have much money either.
“I’m… not sure. I haven’t decided yet,” I said, more to myself than to him.
As if he knew what I was thinking, Darren said, “Well, regardless of what you choose, you’re still missing a license, aren’t you? You should probably fix that before anything else.”
If I’d been capable of it, I’d have laughed out loud. “I failed the exam.”
Darren smirked. “You don’t think you’d fail it now, do you?”
I was all set with my usual retort that I’d failed it twice and was never going to get any better… and then I realized how colossally stupid that sounded. I had been training Pokémon for four months under the guidance of an actual master trainer. I barely knew anything about Pokémon when I started, and now?
“I… I guess I wouldn’t,” I said slowly as the implications of that sunk into my head. I could become a trainer. A real trainer. I could actually earn money by doing officially sanctioned battles. I could travel around and stay at any Pokécenter I wanted and not have to worry about getting sent home and having my Pokémon taken. I could head to Johto where the Kanto Rockets were less likely to find me. I could meet up with the Johto Resistance and get their protection.
This fixed everything.
“I’m going to be a real trainer,” I said suddenly, sitting bolt-upright with my eyes wide. “Where’s the closest League office? Probably not here—Saffron, maybe?”
Darren stared at me incredulously. “I honestly wasn’t expecting that kinda one-eighty.”
“Yeah, well, I needed something like this. Makes everything feel less hopeless,” I said, letting out a breath before standing to my feet in a surprisingly smooth motion. Then a thought hit me and I said, “Hey, can I steal another Pokéball off of you?”
“Another one?” Darren asked, raising an eyebrow.
I put a hand to my forehead. “Yeah, uh… the experiments are gonna stick with me.”
“Ha. Called it,” he said, looking rather pleased with himself as he fished through his bag. Sneasel reached in with her claws to ‘help,’ but Darren pulled the bag away from the dark-type before she could tear more holes in it and then retrieved a red and white sphere from inside.
“You owe me,” he said, giving me a wry grin as he handed it over.
“I’ll pay you back after I get my license.”
“Deal.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Much as I would have liked to, I couldn’t go get my license right away. That would have involved taking a trip to Saffron, where the closest League office was located. And while I could probably have made it there and back in the same day, I didn’t exactly want to leave Lavender without Chibi, even if it was only for an afternoon. Plus, it was probably best if Darren and I waited for Rudy to come around before making too many plans.
That said, it seemed risky for any of us to stick around the Pokécenter for too long. Stalker might’ve drawn the Rockets off last night, but any center near Midnight Island was an obvious target if the Rockets decided it was better to finish off the rest of us. Hell, the only reason they hadn’t already was probably because of all the cops around. Not that I felt too great about the cops either. I didn’t really want to risk getting questioned about the Rebellion and revealing that I was an illegal trainer with connections to Rockets. Not to mention the fact that three of my Pokémon were genetic experiments. I could end up losing them.
So I returned to the trainer’s dorm, introduced Aros to his new Pokéball, and took stock of everything I owned in preparation for leaving town, whenever that would be. Turns out, I didn’t have much. I’d pretty much only grabbed my bag and my Pokéballs when I’d fled the stadium. That left me with nothing more than a single spare T-shirt and a Rocket uniform. Well… that and the strange metallic orb I’d found in the ruins. I couldn’t even remember putting it in the bag to begin with, but apparently it had wound up there at some point.
I also still had my R-com. I’d reread Stalker’s final message to the Rebellion about a dozen times. I’d even sent him a response asking where he was in Johto. But I hadn’t received a reply yet. Which was fine—I still hadn’t decided if I was even going to join the Johto Resistance. And there would be plenty of time to decide after I became a Pokémon trainer.
I showered and changed into my spare t-shirt and black Rocket pants. I looked like a dork, but it was better than what I was wearing before. There’d be time to grab a cheap outfit or two from a thrift shop or something. I was sitting on the bed, toweling off my wet hair when a flicker of yellow in my peripheral vision caught my eye.
My heart skipped a beat. It was Chibi.
The Pikachu was seated on the windowsill, looking every bit as disheveled as last night, with fur and feathers sticking out at awkward angles and most of his body covered in scrapes and bruises. His face still bore the bloodstains of when it happened, only now the marks were smudged and matted where the fur had been soaked with tears.
I swallowed hard and said, “You’re back.”
He gazed up at me distantly, eyes bloodshot and half-lidded. I had to force my expression to remain neutral when the sight of him felt like being stabbed in the heart.
“I… I was worried about you,” I said quietly, unsure of whether or not I should have said so.
The hybrid glanced away, staring at the floor with no change in expression.
My voice shook as I went on, “I know you probably want to be alone right now, but… I just… want to make sure you know I’m here for you? If you want me to be.”
Without saying a word, he hopped down from the window and crossed the dormitory on all fours. I held my breath as he walked past me, but he didn’t even glance in my direction. He just hopped up onto the wooden table by the door and tapped the button on his Pokéball, dissolving himself into it.
I let out a deep breath. Yeah, that’d gone about as well as I’d expected. Aros had said to give the hybrid some space… well that’s what was going to happen, whether I liked it or not. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how much he was suffering. At least now that he was back in his Pokéball, I could have one of the center’s staff heal him. The crushing realization hit me that I honestly didn’t even know how badly he was injured. He could have had broken ribs for all I knew. He wouldn’t have let it show, either way.
A faint, lightheaded feeling had suddenly overtaken me. Like I’d been running on overdrive ever since last night but somehow hadn’t noticed until the stress of seeing Chibi again. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that my appetite had suddenly decided to appear out of nowhere, making me painfully aware of just how ravenous I was.
I guess that answered the question of where I was headed first.
Lavender Town only had one trainer’s cafe, and it was tiny. Given Aros and Stygian’s size, we had to eat at one of the outdoor tables, which was less than ideal given the cold wind blowing in from the sea. Everyone argued over who got to sit next to Firestorm, we talked about our upcoming trip to Johto, and for a little while it actually felt like things were normal.
I kept Chibi inside his ball. I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet, and he almost definitely wouldn’t want to come out anyway.
After eating, the walk back from the cafe was considerably less miserable than the walk to it had been. That kind of bothered me. I wasn’t allowed to be feeling kind of alright. Not after what had happened last night. Not after what Rudy was going through. Not after what Chibi was going through. There was no such thing as normal anymore, but it was like all the pain and despair had just melted into background noise that I could barely sense anymore. It was just the way things were. This was life now.
I was lost in thought as I walked down the streets of Lavender Town, not paying attention to anything in particular. Which meant I was completely unprepared for the hand that reached out of nowhere, grabbed hold of my shirt, and dragged me into the nearby alley.
“What the hell?!” I cried, whirling around to face my attacker and—I froze up instantly. It was Astrid. Again. Why was it always her?! What was she doing here?! While I was frozen, she pushed me up against the wall of the nearest building, pinning me completely. Every inch of me wanted to scream, but my voice caught in my throat. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t fight back, I couldn’t do anything. Why not?!
“Quit shaking. I’m not here to kill you,” she muttered.
She wasn’t? But then… that could only mean… My insides melted away just thinking about her Raichu. Not that. Not again.
“Where is your leader?” Astrid demanded.
“H—he’s in Johto!”
“Where in Johto?!”
“I don’t know, I swear I don’t know, he didn’t tell us anything, I’m not lying I swear!” I said all in one breath.
Her eyes bored into mine, looking almost… desperate? Now that I was paying attention, I could see the exhaustion covering her face and the dark circles under her eyes. Seconds passed with neither of us making a move. My heart thundered in my chest and sweat dripped down my face and every inch of me hoped and prayed that she’d somehow, miraculously be satisfied with my answer.
After what felt like an eternity, Astrid released her hold on my collar, pushing me away. “Lucky for you I can tell you’re not lying,” she said with a scowl. “If your leader’s really abandoned you, then you’re useless to me now. Your team’s finished. You’re powerless. You’re no threat to Team Rocket on your own. So I suggest you take advantage of my generosity and get the hell out of here.”
I stared at her stupidly, unable to process what had just happened. “What? You’re letting me go?”
She didn’t say anything. She just turned and strode off down the alley with the same intensity she’d approached me with.
What? Why was she doing this? And worse, why did I feel like I should know why?
“W-what kind of game are you trying to pull?” I called after her, my voice shaking. This had to be some kind of trick. It had to be. “Even if I’m not a threat, there’s no way you’d ever just let me go.”
Astrid froze mid-step. With her back to me, she said, “You’re not worth the time it’d take to kill you. It’d be a wasted effort.”
I stared incredulously. “That doesn’t… I know what you’re like. You’ve always enjoyed making me suffer.”
She whirled around, her face lit with fury. “You don’t know a damn thing about me,” she spat, sounding almost offended by my words. She then turned to leave once more.
Nothing about this made any sense. Astrid had always targeted me, right from the start. I’d always thought she had a grudge against me ever since the plane incident—which had only gotten worse with each time I escaped. But the kind of grudge that would lead her to target me without killing me? Because if she was really as dangerous as she acted, then there was no way I should have lived through all my encounters with her.
Unless it really was all an act. Which would make this just another link in a long chain of slip-ups and character breaks that I’d never pieced together before. The exaggerated threats that somehow never led anywhere. The total lack of enjoyment during the interrogation. The pain in her eyes during the raid last night. Too many unexplainable things.
Without thinking, I blurted out, “You—you actually don’t want me dead.”
Astrid spun to face me again, eyes narrowed. “Figured out that much, have you?”
My pulse quickened. I was actually right?
“I just don’t know why,” I went on slowly.
She squinted at me like I’d just said the dumbest thing she’d ever heard. “God, I’m lucky you’re such an idiot.”
A horribly unnerving feeling swept over me. After all the times she’d given me the usual death glare or arrogant smirk, seeing this kind of expression from her felt really weird. There was almost something… familiar about it. The image felt ancient in memory, much older than any of my run-ins with Team Rocket. I was suddenly years younger, with her making that exact face and telling me how stupid I was being. How did I have this memory of her looking at me like that from way before I’d even met her?
Because I’d seen that face before, five years ago.
It hit me like a ton of bricks to the face. Five years. Five years—had it really been that long? Long enough that I’d forgotten what she looked like. How was I even capable of forgetting something like that? But there was no other explanation. It had to be her. That would make her seventeen now? Old enough to be an executive. How did I go this long without realizing?
My mind was racing. Too many thoughts to process all at one—it felt like my head was going to burst. It all made sense now. Everything fit.
Astrid was still looking at me like I was a moron. “Are you even listening to me? What else do I have to do to make you go away??”
“Oh god, it really is you, Starr.”
Astrid froze, like the words were a slap to the face. She stared at me in horror, swearing under her breath.
Five years ago, my best friend had suddenly moved away from Viridian with no explanation whatsoever. Now, she was back in my life again, in the form of the person who’d been haunting my nightmares.
Her expression hardened. “So… what are you going to do now, Jade?”
She wasn’t denying it? Some part of me had still hoped, desperately, irrationally, that I was wrong. But I wasn’t. All this time my worst enemy was actually my childhood best friend. The same person I’d been devastated to lose years ago was the one who’d stalked, terrorized, and outright tortured me now. I stared at her, feeling a horrible chill run down my spine. This couldn’t be real. It had to be some sick joke.
Starr frowned. “You look upset. How do you think I felt when I found out you were involved with that damn rebel team? It was bad enough that Ajia’s involved in rebel matters, but now you too? Do you think I wanted this?”
“I just… I don’t understand… how did you turn into this? What happened after you left?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she said darkly. “My past is my business, and you’d do well to stay out of it.”
I bristled. “Am I just supposed to forget that my old best friend is part of an organization that wants me dead?”
“Yes, you are. Damn it Jade, I knew you’d react like this. The fact that we were friends five years ago shouldn’t matter anymore. Things are different now.”
“‘Things are different now’?!” I shouted, my blood starting to boil. “Does that make it okay to be a Rocket? Is that your excuse for everything you’ve done?” I was seething, fists clenched, heart pounding.
“Jade, my situation is a lot more complicated than you’re making it out to be—”
“I don’t care! How could you do all of those things to me?!”
“Damn it Jade, do you have any idea how hard I’ve worked to keep you alive the past few months?!” she shouted. “I knew who you were from the start, and I had to keep every other Rocket from figuring that out! Every damn time you snuck into the base or sabotaged our missions, I had to make sure I found you before anyone else, otherwise you’d have been shot and killed in a second.
“As for that night in the detention cell…” she went on, her voice breaking. “Did it never occur to you that I tortured you because that was the only alternative to killing you that wouldn’t look totally suspicious? Do you think I enjoyed that? I had to make damn sure that I was convincing. And guess what—if I lost my position, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my subordinates from killing you the second I was done interrogating you. You know they all wanted you dead! And if it weren’t for me, you would have been.”
I stared at her, lost for words. “I don’t… I didn’t think—”
“Tch. That much is obvious. Now, look. We are going to forget that any of this ever happened. I don’t even care if you keep doing your rebel crap, just do it somewhere far away from me, got it?”
“Well you’re quite the loyal Rocket,” I muttered as she was about to walk off.
Starr spun around furiously. “Yes. I am a loyal Rocket. And you’d do well to remember that. So stop trying to question my loyalties, got it?! We’re done here!!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Astrid was Starr.
That single, unavoidable fact burned in my thoughts for the rest of the day as I wandered aimlessly down the docks south of town, staring blankly out to sea, occasionally catching glimpses of Midnight Island through the fog.
My old best friend had tortured me. That thought wouldn’t stop echoing in my mind either. Even though we weren’t friends anymore and hadn’t been for years. She should’ve been no different than any other Rocket who’d tried to kill me.
Except she was different. We had been friends. Didn’t that mean anything to her? What had caused her to change so much? What had happened in the last five years? Why did she even join Team Rocket to begin with?
I shook my head. Would knowing really change anything? This was the new Starr. So what if we’d been friends as kids? Those kids were long gone—both of us were different people now. There was no reason for me to care about any of it. I was going to Johto in a few days, and I’d never see her again. An old friend I’d lost contact with years ago suddenly reappearing as a terrible person was really not my problem.
It wasn’t my problem. I didn’t care.
…
Yeah. Right.
It was so, so stupid, but I had to know, or else it was going to eat away at me forever. I had to talk to her again… get some answers. But the idea was… not exactly a comforting one. Try to talk to the person who’d imprisoned and tortured me? She’d spared my life this time. And apparently several other times. But there was no way I could trust that would always be the case. Her loyalties lay with Team Rocket now. I never wanted to be at her mercy again.
I was going to need backup. Someone who’d be able to defeat her if it came to a fight. Someone more logical than me, who could talk to her without losing their cool. Preferably someone who knew her and had a reason to care about the situation.
My eyes widened. I actually knew someone who fit that description perfectly.
~End Chapter 23~
Astrid is, and has always been, Starr. As unlikely as it may seem, every single terrible thing Astrid ever did was written through this lens, and I hope that a lot of her weird behavior makes sense now. The encounter in Chapter 15 is probably the only one that didn’t have a lot of foreshadowing in it, because there wasn’t a lot at stake, so she was able to really ham it up. With each subsequent encounter, however, the façade started to slip—rereading some of those scenes with this in mind should cause them to take on a whole new meaning. Several readers questioned why Astrid gave Jade that hour to rest during the interrogation… that hour was for herself.
Now then…I just have to know. Thoughts on this? Anyone notice anything strange with Astrid before the reveal? I absolutely require reactions. :P
Now then…I just have to know. Thoughts on this? Anyone notice anything strange with Astrid before the reveal? I absolutely require reactions. :P
~Chibi~
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