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Dragonfree

Just me
Chapter 26

Okay, this is me reading this one for the first time, finally. Before I do that, I'm finishing up the rest of the review, so that any speculation will remain intact even if it turns out to be jossed in this chapter.

(Since this ended up having to be a fourth post fgghghh, I'm going to not spoiler-tag it since it's discussing the current chapter.)

Rudy and I always used to come here to watch matches between kids older than us—or rather, older than him—who had already started their journeys. In the summer, it was so popular that battles often cropped up over who could train on which field—with the field at the top of the hill at the center of the park being the most heavily contested spot. We’d make meaningless bets on the combatants and excitedly call out whenever anyone sent out a Pokémon that was definitely going on one of our own teams someday.
This is the sort of thing I'd have loved to see about Starr (or Ajia) throughout the fic.

“*Many of our allies have attacked us. Chibi tried to kill us when we first met him,*” Swift chirped, obviously trying his hardest to sound calm and measured. Maybe a bit too hard, but the effort was appreciated.
Swift is the sweetest.

My eyes swept over her Pokémon warily as I stepped forward into their midst. Feraligatr jerked its head upward, leering suspiciously at me the entire time. Arcanine, on the other hand, refused to look at me—the firedog kept its hateful gaze firmly on a tree further down the trail, as though it were trying to set it on fire with just its eyes. Flareon glanced around at the others uneasily, folding its ears back and flicking its fluffy tail from side to side. Rapidash stood calmly off to the side, eyes closed and flames flickering gently in the wind. Raichu… I could hardly look at Raichu without feeling sick, so I didn’t.
I really like the unexpected punch at the end of this paragrah, particularly after seeing the illustration where Raichu just looks so happy.

“*So you’re not the enemy anymore!*” the mouse said cheerfully. Oh god why.
Pfft.

“*I know that, I heard what Starr said,*” Raichu said, puffing out his cheeks in a pout.
Huh, so her Pokémon think of her as Starr, even though even her internal monologue referred to herself as Astrid in the extra? Or is it a TQftL kind of thing where Jade's mentally translating a generic 'trainer' sort of name to Starr?

Feraligatr scoffed at my words. “*Might not like any of this, but wouldn’t ever disobey a direct order. Not much of a trainer, are you?*”
Aw, I like Feraligatr. She obviously places a lot of value on loyalty and order, which makes sense what with Team Rocket and all.

And then Raichu jumped into my lap and every muscle in my body tensed up instantly and every thought dissolved into a torrent of oh god, oh god, get him off, get him off.

“*I think it will be fun being on the same side,*” the rodent said, cocking his head to the side. “*Even if I don’t get to act scary anymore.*” God, why’d he have to talk like that, all bubbly and friendly like he wasn’t Starr’s torture Pokémon of choice. Didn’t he remember what she’d had him do to me?
Have I mentioned I love how traumatized Jade is.

“Does—does he have to sit here?” I stammered, desperately attempting to force my facial expression into something neutral even as every instinct devolved into an endless loop of nope.
an endless loop of nope

“It’s gonna suck carrying so much cash around, but anyone stupid enough to try and rob me deserves what’s coming to them.” She scoffed at the thought. But then her expression hardened. “What I’m actually worried about is my license. They have contacts in the Pokémon League. They could have my trainer ID flagged for anything—and odds are it’ll be something I’ve actually done, too,” she added with a grimace. I didn’t even want to think about how long her list of arrestable offences probably was.
I like that she's thinking about this. I really enjoy the attention to detail in this fic.

Starr paused, blinking. A crooked grin slowly crossed her face, and she gave a slight laugh. “Come on, I’m—I was an executive. I know there’s that stereotype that combat unit execs are only good at bashing skulls in, but we had to know our stuff too.”
Of course Team Rocket has internal stereotypes.

I blanched. “All the way to Goldenrod? Aren’t the tickets like 10,000 pyen?”

Starr gave me a look that plainly said I was an idiot while gesturing both hands at the duffel bag full of money.
oh no I love her

Starr nodded. “Good, cause I gotta go check out some shady places, and I don’t want you coming with. Wanna say we’ll meet up at the central district Pokécenter?”
She's such a Rocket, it's great.

Bus stops lined the streets outside the train station. It wasn’t hard to find one of the iconic red and white buses that’d lead to the Pokécenter in most towns. No license meant fishing coins out of my pocket to pay the fare (and enduring the confused looks as to why someone my age wouldn’t just pay using a license), but I’d gotten used to that by now.
I like this worldbuilding - makes a lot of sense they'd have something like that.

a bacon pancake
no

“*I called Razors a coward,*” he said, eyes wide and desperate. “*I accused him of hiding from the fight while the rest of us risked our lives. That’s the last thing I said to him before he died. That’s why he put himself at risk like that.*” He was shaking all over, fur standing on end. “*It’s my fault. I did this. It’s my fault,*” he muttered over and over to himself.

“It’s not—”

“*If I can’t hold myself to what I said to him, then what am I worth? I have to fight them. They have to pay. It’s the only reason I’m still here.*”
Chibi. D:

“Probably better that we stay away from the Pokécenter,” Starr went on
Missing a period there.

Sometimes Mewtwo was there, and he’d clench his fingers together and I’d feel an unbearable pressure from all sides, forcing the air from my lungs and crushing my bones with a sickening crunch
Here too.

“Yes, now,” she said without looking back at me
One more missing period.

Starr forced herself to regain control of her breathing, wiping her eyes as she shook her head in disbelief. “Jade, do you have any idea who the hell you’re standing next to? That’s Sebastian Shepard, the ****ing commander of the Johto combat unit.”
Ahahaha so I guess Sebastian was Stalker after all. But yeah, called it, the Kanto commander was a red herring! He really was 1) currently a high-ranking Rocket. And he's obviously in contact with Lexx. (This makes it kind of hilarious in hindsight how we've been hearing about the Johto force being terrible and inefficient. NOT TOO SURPRISING IF THEIR COMMANDER IS A REBEL.)

I liked this chapter a lot; lots of character development, getting to know Starr better as she gets to act a bit more natural, and Jade trying to deal. I just love what Starr is like, still so distinctly her but more comfortable and genuinely confident, knowing all about the dark underbelly of the city and Jade being so jarred by it. Seeing her and Jade trying to work through everything that's happened was nice, as well, and I think so far that's been pretty well paced - Jade's not just suddenly over it, still triggered by even seeing Raichu and having nightmares worrying it's all a lie somehow, and it's hard for Starr to actually talk about it.

Chibi's obviously dealing terribly and I'm eager to see more of where his storyline goes from here. I liked seeing Jade really trying to hard to be a good, supportive friend to him; it's a far cry from how she was unable to deal with Rudy's issues before and really suggests she's doing a bit better. And the portrayal of Goldenrod was nice - all your research shows!

Looking forward to learning more about what's going on with Ajia next chapter. All my theories are probably hilariously wrong, but at this point I figure she's part of the Johto Resistance and that the Kanto commander in particular has a lot to do with her.

It's been great following this fic so far and I can't wait to see how everything continues to play out from here. Best of luck on the next chapters, and all the rest! I will do my absolute best to not need another Monster Review(tm) next time I review.
 

diamondpearl876

Well-Known Member
eyyyy what's up, I've finally caught up on the last 3 chapters.

I'm wondering if Jade's ever gonna blow up in front of Ajia in regards to how little she knows about her childhood friend now. She keeps pointing it out, and she seems frustrated each time she realizes, oh, that's one less thing I know about her, and it's bound to blow up sometime, especially if Ajia insists on keeping everything a secret on top of being super smug about it. At any rate, I've enjoyed seeing more of Ajia around. I still do think the impact of their interactions (and the ones with Starr, too) is lessened by me not having read the previous rewrites, but hopefully a pair of fresh eyes is still helpful in some way.

Oh, and I get the feeling, too, that there's more to Ajia and Starr's history than meets the eye. Why else would Starr be much more accepting of Jade right off the bat when she shooed Ajia away without a second thought? It's clear there were some serious issues between the two that they're not telling Jade, or maybe they're assuming Jade knows and are being polite about not talking about the issues in front of her. pls tell moar kthx.

I'm still slightly annoyed at Jade, but that's nothing new, and it's forgivable because she's 14 (I got the age right in this fic, at least - sorry again, Phalanx lmao). She's going along for the ride on everything without thinking twice, especially so in these past few chapters. She becomes paralyzed in high stakes situations rather than taking action, and follows along with whatever orders are given to her because she can't trust herself to make decisions. Being a follower rather than a leader is also the easier option in these kinds of situations. Don't get me wrong, this is a compliment - that's a lot of realistic depth added to a teenager, and I'm going to be rooting like crazy for her if she starts taking life into her own hands. If I didn't care about her, I wouldn't be annoyed and wanting to shake some sense into her.

I was glad to see Jade confront Chibi, at least. Chibi's clearly suffering and I'd like to give you credit for not having that conversation devolve into a sappy conversation with Chibi thanking Jade for trying to help him without meaning it. I feel like that's how a lot of conversations about grief end up, and it's... not really healthy or helpful. It's just not in Chibi's character to act like that, I know, but still. I'm eager to see how Jade tries to help him past Razors's death. I have a feeling she might feel useless and hopeless about it at first, understandably so, but she's managed to keep Chibi on her side this far. She can do it again. 8)

Also, holy ****, why can't Jade escape these combat unit commanders? Starr's initial reaction is a bit hard to read. I can't tell if she thinks of Stalker as a joke now or if their past together is going to get in the way. Guess I'll have to keep reading to find out, huh?
 

jirachiman876

The King of Kirby
Now that was a pretty good twist. I really liked that one.
There's a good bit in this chapter too. The beginning is kinda more of a transitional piece to me. Get us to Johto and build up that area a bit while having the main characters try and sort out some issues we've been having. It's done very nicely. I like it when I can see the world around the characters as they do whatever it is they're doing. Whether it's battling or just trying to have a conversation. Or even going one place to another. It's done very well.
I know it's been mentioned by literally everyone, but I love Raichu. So much adorable. Luckily I'm not traumatized by her so I would totes just cuddle. But I did like how the interaction was played out. Granted I would be a little less calm(kinda) about it. I would be jumping up and walking off to the side at least. I'm sure Jade is going to very slowly get over this and maybe get a little friendly with her which will be awesome.
Now for the second main scene in the chapter, our conversation with Chibi. If he was a hugger I'd squeeze him pretty hard. He needs a hug so badly. I do like Jade's attempt to let him know that she's there for him. I feel like that's all you really can do for someone with their own personal demons they're trying to deal with. Sadly Chibi's not really going for it. Jade didn't help of course, but hey, she's trying.
I am interested to see how Starr is going to deal with knowing Stalker's identity. She seems pretty disbelieved at the moment which is kinda fun to see. I'm excited to see how this scene is gonna play out. Starr's an ex-Rocket. What's Shep-Stalker gonna do?
Speaking of Starr, I'm really enjoying her not so Rocket personality. She seems like a really fun person, that knows a little too much about the shady things... But a fun person to hang out with nonetheless, as long as you don't piss her off...
Anyway, I'm excited to see the next chapter and what's coming next!
jirachiman out ;385;
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
@Dragonfree:

For obvious reasons, the Monster Review™ miiiiiight take me a little while to write up a proper reply to everything in it. ;P So I'll just reply to Chapter 26 for now since that's the one that's currently relevant.

This is the sort of thing I'd have loved to see about Starr (or Ajia) throughout the fic.
Yeahh, and both your and Negrek's comments about the previous chapters have given me some ideas on how I might go about doing that, even if I can't have her actually show up until this arc.

Swift is the sweetest.
I still distinctly remember the moment when I made the realization that Swift was, in fact, a cinnamon roll, too good for this world.

Huh, so her Pokémon think of her as Starr, even though even her internal monologue referred to herself as Astrid in the extra? Or is it a TQftL kind of thing where Jade's mentally translating a generic 'trainer' sort of name to Starr?
While I don't actually have a designated name placeholder in my Pokéspeech setup (the QftL 'trainer' thing is frickin perfect, argh), this was definitely Translation Convention on Jade's part. Whatever they call her, Jade is choosing to interpret it as 'Starr,' which matches her insistence on referring to her as such (and only referring to her as Astrid in the Rockety contexts, as an attempt to mentally separate the two.)

Aw, I like Feraligatr. She obviously places a lot of value on loyalty and order, which makes sense what with Team Rocket and all.
Fun fact: I actually wrote up a conversation between Jade and Feraligatr in 2006, and while I always knew I'd never get to use it (why would the two ever be alone?) I am glad I got to keep the general flavor of it in her two lines of dialogue and supremely grumpy artwork.

I like that she's thinking about this. I really enjoy the attention to detail in this fic.
I'm so glad you like that. I constantly stress out over small details like that derailing my plot, so I'm glad the focus adds to things.

She's such a Rocket, it's great.
She might be off Team Rocket now, but it was important to me to show that the Rocket lens through which she views the world is not going anywhere any time soon.

8D 8D 8D

One more missing period.
Man, there have been a lot of those lately. I never used to do that. Probably because Word catches them and Google Docs doesn't. >:(

Ahahaha so I guess Sebastian was Stalker after all. But yeah, called it, the Kanto commander was a red herring! He really was 1) currently a high-ranking Rocket. And he's obviously in contact with Lexx.
:D

Not gonna lie, I was cheering along like "yessssssss" when you said he was definitely not the Kanto commander back in Chapter 21. Also I love how that one tiny little extra is prompting all these comments about Lexx before he's even been arsed to show up in the story. xD I am so glad I decided to name drop him there.

I liked this chapter a lot; lots of character development, getting to know Starr better as she gets to act a bit more natural, and Jade trying to deal. I just love what Starr is like, still so distinctly her but more comfortable and genuinely confident, knowing all about the dark underbelly of the city and Jade being so jarred by it. Seeing her and Jade trying to work through everything that's happened was nice, as well, and I think so far that's been pretty well paced - Jade's not just suddenly over it, still triggered by even seeing Raichu and having nightmares worrying it's all a lie somehow, and it's hard for Starr to actually talk about it.
I found myself liking this chapter a lot more as I progressed with it too. What started out as a simple Point-A-to-Point-B would up letting me play with Jade and Starr both trying so hard to figure out what their friendship is going to be from now on, despite all the awkward baggage they both have. It was a lot of fun, and I'm glad the pacing of it came across well.

And the portrayal of Goldenrod was nice - all your research shows!
*Pumps fist* Osaka essay was a success!

Looking forward to learning more about what's going on with Ajia next chapter. All my theories are probably hilariously wrong, but at this point I figure she's part of the Johto Resistance and that the Kanto commander in particular has a lot to do with her.
Luckily, you can find out right now! ;D

It's been great following this fic so far and I can't wait to see how everything continues to play out from here. Best of luck on the next chapters, and all the rest! I will do my absolute best to not need another Monster Review(tm) next time I review.
aaaaaaaaaaaaa thank you. Seriously, your comments meant the world, and I'll have plenty more to say when I get a chance to respond to the Monster Review™ in full!

@diamondpearl876:

I'm wondering if Jade's ever gonna blow up in front of Ajia in regards to how little she knows about her childhood friend now. She keeps pointing it out, and she seems frustrated each time she realizes, oh, that's one less thing I know about her, and it's bound to blow up sometime, especially if Ajia insists on keeping everything a secret on top of being super smug about it.
It's coming, don't worry! ;)

I'm still slightly annoyed at Jade, but that's nothing new, and it's forgivable because she's 14 (I got the age right in this fic, at least - sorry again, Phalanx lmao). She's going along for the ride on everything without thinking twice, especially so in these past few chapters. She becomes paralyzed in high stakes situations rather than taking action, and follows along with whatever orders are given to her because she can't trust herself to make decisions. Being a follower rather than a leader is also the easier option in these kinds of situations. Don't get me wrong, this is a compliment - that's a lot of realistic depth added to a teenager, and I'm going to be rooting like crazy for her if she starts taking life into her own hands. If I didn't care about her, I wouldn't be annoyed and wanting to shake some sense into her.
This is also coming soon. Her entire character arc in Book 1 has basically been leading up to this, so it's definitely a big deal!

I was glad to see Jade confront Chibi, at least. Chibi's clearly suffering and I'd like to give you credit for not having that conversation devolve into a sappy conversation with Chibi thanking Jade for trying to help him without meaning it. I feel like that's how a lot of conversations about grief end up, and it's... not really healthy or helpful. It's just not in Chibi's character to act like that, I know, but still. I'm eager to see how Jade tries to help him past Razors's death. I have a feeling she might feel useless and hopeless about it at first, understandably so, but she's managed to keep Chibi on her side this far. She can do it again. 8)
Yeah, Chibi is definitely not the sort of character who can be soothed with a few kind, reassuring words, and he still has a lot of pent-up anger that he needs to let out first (Spoiler: this is what he does in the climax!)

@jirachiman876

I know it's been mentioned by literally everyone, but I love Raichu. So much adorable. Luckily I'm not traumatized by her so I would totes just cuddle.
I was absolutely not expecting Raichu to be so popular. xD

Speaking of Starr, I'm really enjoying her not so Rocket personality. She seems like a really fun person, that knows a little too much about the shady things... But a fun person to hang out with nonetheless, as long as you don't piss her off...
I'm really glad! ^^ She is my second-favorite character in the fic, after all.

Thank you so much for all the comments on Chapter 26, everyone! ^^ And now, to make up for the long wait on 26, here's Chapter 27, coming at'cha super quick!

~Chibi~;249;;448;
 
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Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Awww yeah, one-week chapter wait! I probably could’ve held off on posting this one to allow myself to get further with 28, but I wanted to get these reveals out as soon as possible after where 26 left off.

Be sure to check the previous post for review responses!



~Chapter 27: The Revolt~

ch27art_by_chibi_pika-dbm3l67.png

I stared at the two of them, a feeling of unease growing inside me. Stalker appeared relatively unfazed by Starr’s revelation and was simply watching us with a calm, expectant look, like we’d go right back to our conversation as soon as this minor interruption was taken care of.

“What’s she talking about…?” I asked hesitantly.

He put a hand to his chest. “She’s not wrong. That is what I’m known as, and I am the Johto commander.”

Stalker was the Johto commander. Not the former Kanto commander like everyone had thought. That’s how he had access to so much of the team’s inner workings. That’s how he’d been able to bypass security checks for the rebels, give out admin rights left and right, and draw suspicion away from us by modifying things behind the scenes.

I took a wary step back from him. “What? How? You were… helping us defeat Team Rocket.”

“In a manner of speaking, yes,” he said simply.

“But… why? If you’ve been a commander all this time?”

“Because the Kanto force can’t be allowed to capture the Legendaries.”

I paused, giving him a skeptical glare. “You say that like the Johto force is different. Like they’re not also catching Legendaries. Well guess what, they caught Entei, and that’s what started this whole mess. How do you explain that?”

Stalker appeared completely unconcerned with that accusation. “Every Legendary that my force catches is one that the Kanto force cannot.”

A wave of anger suddenly flared up inside me. “So, what, you were only having us prevent the Kanto force from catching the Legendaries so that you could get them all yourself?”

He chuckled under his breath. “Of course not. We’re only catching certain ones.”

Certain ones?” I said incredulously. “Why would it matter which ones you catch? What difference does it make?”

“It makes all the difference in the world,” Stalker replied immediately. His expression had turned darkly serious.

“Well, it’s good to see that you’re just as full of shit as you’ve always been,” Starr cut in all of a sudden, stepping out of the bushes and folding her arms behind her head. “I don’t know what the Legendaries have to do with anything, but I do know that spouting hypocritical garbage to trick people into following your cause sounds exactly like you.”

Stalker closed his eyes. “Astrid, I don’t think any of this concerns you.”

“Like hell it doesn’t,” she spat. “Jade’s my friend, and if you think I’m gonna let you pull one over on her, you’ve got another thing coming.”

He paused, both eyebrows raised, looking impressed. “Ever the loyal one, I see.”

Starr glared at him. “Maybe I am. Not that you’d know anything about loyalty with all your lying and double-crossing. By the way, don’t think I didn’t notice the way you up and left your little rebel team the moment things got too risky for you.”

“You’d do well not to talk about things you know nothing about,” Stalker shot back coldly. “The Rebellion accomplished what it needed to. My decision to end it was as much a tactical one as it was for their protection.”

“What, don’t tell me you actually cared about your pawns this time?” Starr said with a laugh. “You never did before. Where were you when we caught your followers after the revolt, huh? You didn’t exactly step in to stop their executions. No, that would’ve required actually owning up to something for a change.”

“A better question perhaps is where were you? Carrying out said executions, I presume?”

Starr clenched her teeth. “Yeah. I’m a screw-up. I know that. Least I don’t try to pretend I’m not.”

“I was under the impression that’s what you’re doing right now.”

“Oh, screw you,” she spat. “You don’t get to act all self-righteous after what you did. Especially since the rebel team was you pulling the exact same shit you did last year, only with kids this time.”

“And what of the fact that your unit was responsible for those kids’ deaths?” Stalker asked calmly.

Starr’s face went red. “You want me to beat your ass right here and now?!”

Stalker closed his eyes. “I highly recommend that you don’t try that.”

Starr’s hand flew to her Pokéball belt, and that was enough.

“Okay, stop!” I yelled, holding out both arms and staring down the both of them. “I am sick and tired of hearing about all this stupid Rocket drama through vague rumors and sideways accusations, and I want answers. You two are finally going to tell me what this freaking revolt was about, and what the hell it has to do with anything, now. In detail. I’m sick of always being in the dark about everything.” I was seething, fists clenched, breathing hard. No more. I was not just going to accept any of this crap anymore.

Stalker raised both eyebrows, looking impressed. “Fair enough. I’d say it’s time you knew the truth as well,” he said, grinning slyly. Starr rolled her eyes, but then swept her hand in a “go ahead” gesture. He paused for a moment, and then began.

“It all started spring of last year. I’d just turned seventeen, was promoted to executive, and finally in a position to start making changes in the team. You see… I’ve had plans for the Johto force for a very long time. Right after I reached officer rank and learned about the Legendary Project, in fact. So I’d been making it my goal to forge as many connections as I possibly could—I wanted to know everything that happened on the team.”

He closed his eyes, carefully considering his next words. “So imagine my surprise when I heard that a teenage girl was causing discreet mischief amongst the lower ranks.”

I took a step backward. No way. He couldn’t be talking about Ajia, could he?

“It was nothing too serious—ambushing grunts, stealing assets, that sort of thing. At least, that’s all it was at first. She has a real knack for reading people. She found anyone on the team who felt scared or trapped—namely younger Rockets who had nowhere else to go—and started convincing them to turn traitor. Of course, most of them had already come to me with the same concerns at one point or another—it wasn’t hard for me to hear about what she was doing.

“One day I finally confronted her. She wasn’t afraid—she could immediately tell that I was no ordinary Rocket, and that I had my own agenda. I decided I could use her, so I told her the identity of several high-ranking Kanto agents who were conflicted about the things they’d done.”

He paused again, carefully taking in my reactions to what he’d said. It felt like his eyes were boring straight through me.

“You might be wondering how the former Kanto commander factors into all this. I trained under him for a year when I was stationed in Kanto, shortly after being promoted to officer. He wasn’t the commander yet, but he was the most powerful trainer I’ve ever known. Unfortunately… when he did get promoted to commander, he was forced into running the Legendary Project. I’ve never seen a Rocket break so quickly. He hated the idea.

“I talked to the commander and proposed the idea that we use our position to capture the Legendaries ourselves, so they would be safe from Rockets who would abuse their power. He utterly refused. I think he was already planning to quit Team Rocket, but just needed the final push.”

Stalker paused again, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. “I’m sure you can see where this is going. I told Ajia to go meet the Kanto commander.”

Starr let out an exaggerated sound of disgust. “Okay, I like how he’s conveniently leaving out all the bullshit. First of all, Ajia was pulling a lot more crap than just spreading treasonous ideas and screwing up grunt jobs. Oh sure, it started as that, but then even the combat unit started reporting subtle things going wrong here and there. Second, he’s the one who gave her the ability to do half that stuff. I started looking into it ‘cause it always looks impressive if you catch a traitor. I was officer-rank and a candidate for becoming executive so I was under a lot of pressure, okay?” That last part was forcefully directed at me.

I raised an eyebrow. “I… wasn’t going to say anything.”

“You were giving me that look,” she said with a huff. “I was a loyal Rocket, and I did what had to be done. Until I found out that Ajia was the traitor. I tried the same thing I did with you—making sure they never caught her while trying to keep suspicion off myself. Of course, she eventually figured out that I was the one shadowing her. I tried to get her to leave Team Rocket alone, but she wouldn’t listen to me. We argued a lot, she tried to convince me to quit, I was pissed that she’d even dare to try that. Well… you know how that ended up.”

Stalker chuckled. “So you wouldn’t have even had anything to lose from the revolt if you hadn’t pursued her.”

“Don’t think I don’t know that,” she said, glaring fiercely. “I’ve lost a lot of things from trying to protect my friends. But you wouldn’t know anything about that.”

Stalker ignored her. “So Ajia met up with the commander, he found others like him who didn’t want to catch Legendaries, and he started training everyone who was part of their growing rebel band.”

“Oh, and by the way,” Starr cut in, “the only reason Sebastian told Ajia to go to Kanto was to get her out of the way while he built more of an influence in Johto. That and the fact that he wanted to get rid of the Kanto commander to weaken the Kanto force.”

“No arguments here.”

I stared at them. This wasn’t getting anywhere. “Okay, I still don’t get what specifically happened between you two, and I kind of think it needs to get mentioned.”

Starr snorted. “Well for starters, he’s a traitor and he didn’t get caught. And second, I found out that he was getting everyone else to do his dirty work, setting the Kanto force up for failure without actually doing anything himself, so he’d never get connected to any of it. I threatened to turn him in, but… he was one step ahead of me,” she said through gritted teeth. “He knew I’d done far more traitorous things trying to keep Ajia from being caught, and he made it very obvious that I’d be screwing myself over if I did anything against him.”

Stalker held up his arms defensively. “Just covering my tracks. So long as neither of us reported the other to the admins, we’d be alright. And we were.”

“Easy for you to say,” Starr growled, still giving him the death glare.

I glanced between the two, feeling more awkward by the second. “Alright, enough of that. What happened next?”

Stalker folded his arms. “Well, as the number of rebels grew, so did the tensions on the Kanto force. Rumors of treachery started flying around and a lot of members were taken in for questioning. Quite a few important rebels found themselves on the chopping block,” he said with a wry grin. “But then one day Ajia got a little too cocky with her sabotaging and was captured. I suspect it might have been intentional, but I never did find out for sure.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why on earth would it have been intentional?”

“Because that was the tipping point that got the commander to turn traitor,” Stalker said darkly. “He gathered all the rebels, declared their betrayal, and broke her out of captivity, causing massive damage to the base before they all escaped together with her.” He paused to let the moment sink in. “That was the revolt.”

The infamous day that no one on the Kanto force wanted to talk about. They’d lost their commander, a chunk of their forces, and had failed to hold onto their most wanted criminal.

Starr clenched her teeth and closed her eyes, like the memory was painful. “It… took us a long time to recover. Losing dozens of agents, just like that. It was impossible to track down all of them. We had our hands tied just trying to get things back on track. And my loyalty was… called into question. I’d previously been under orders to hunt down and eliminate Ajia. I got closer than I’d like to admit, but… obviously I didn’t succeed. The boss always suspected that I had some connection to her, but he never had any definite proof—that’s the only reason my punishment wasn’t as severe as it could have been,” she said, wincing.

“I did become executive the following spring, but the boss always kept me under a close watch after that. And of course, Sebastian and his Johto pawns got off scot-free,” she added, shooting a nasty glare at him. “So, in case you don’t get it, Jade, this is what he does. Draw people in, get them to do his dirty work, and let them take the heat when things go south.” She paused, then added, “Just like what happened to the rebel team.”

I stared at her, unwilling to believe it. But at the same time, there was a part of me, deep down, that knew it wasn’t a lie. Which meant that the Rebellion had only ever been an extension of the revolt—a way to weaken the Kanto force to put him in a better position to take control of the team. He wasn’t trying to put an end to Team Rocket. He wasn’t even trying to prevent the Legendaries from being captured.

I swallowed hard as a sudden feeling of numbness overtook me. “So then… all along… we really were just pawns in something that’s been going on much longer?”

Stalker stared at me with a frustratingly blank expression that was impossible to read. I at least wanted him to get defensive, or gloat, or something.

“Go on. Tell her that you were just using them. Just like you used me.” Wait, what? Why was I hearing that voice?

Everyone spun around suddenly. Sure enough, there at the edge of the trees stood Ajia with her Pichu perched on her shoulder. Relief welled up inside me. And then it immediately transformed into confusion.

“Ajia? How…?” I barely managed.

“Well, this is a new one, Astrid,” Stalker cut in. “When you figured out that Jade was a few steps away from joining my side of the resistance, you had to make sure you’d have backup before coming here. What, afraid to face me alone?”

Starr’s smirk immediately changed into a scowl. Ajia walked forward to stand alongside us, her expression strangely cold. Everything about her looked tense. On-guard. Like she was expecting a fight to break out any second and had to be ready for it.

“It’s been a while, Ajia.”

“Sebastian,” she said, nodding. “I should have realized you were the rebel team leader. Nice touch having them call you Stalker, by the way.”

“Judging by the fact that Jade knew nothing at all about the revolt, I’m guessing you kept all of your encounters with Team Rocket a secret from her,” Stalker said.

Ajia sighed. “That’s true. But did you seriously tell your newest set of pawns that you were trying to stop Team Rocket?”

“I never said anything of the sort. I said I wanted to stop the Legendary Project.”

Ajia turned to me. “Do you believe him, Jade?”

I bristled. It definitely made sense for Starr to hate him after what she’d gone through on Team Rocket, but it still seemed like Stalker and Ajia held a common goal, even if they were going about things completely different.

Everyone was still looking at me, waiting for my answer. Unsure of what else to do, I nodded.

Starr chuckled. “Yeah, he’s really done a number on her.” I shot her a glare—she really didn’t have to talk about me like I wasn’t there. If they wanted to talk about how this affected me, the least they could do was get my opinion on it.

Ajia gave Stalker a sideways glance. “Yeah, well, he can be pretty convincing. After the revolt, I met up with him again, ready to work together from then on. That’s when he told me that he had no intention of giving up his position on Team Rocket, and that everything we’d done would make it easier for him to take control of the team. And of course, he became the Johto commander not long afterward.”

Stalker didn’t say anything. He just continued to regard her with the same neutral expression.

“I’ve gotten over the fact that I was just a pawn,” Ajia went on, staring downward with a pained face. “I was naïve, and I wasn’t prepared for it. I just don’t want to see anyone else used for his goals like I was.”

Stalker exhaled slowly through his nose. “If that’s the way you want to see it, then fine. But don’t try to pretend that you know how things were between me and the rebels. I’ve hid things from Jade, but so have you, and I don’t think that—”

Ajia cut him off. “Jade, did Sebastian even tell you what the Johto resistance is actually working towards?”

“I was ready and willing to tell her before you two showed up,” Stalker snapped, looking cross for the first time in the conversation. But then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and his calm, collected air was back. “Our goal is to prevent Giovanni and the Kanto Rockets from abusing the power of the Legendaries by capturing them ourselves.”

Ajia snorted. “And somehow it’s alright if you’re the one doing it.”

Stalker raised an eyebrow. “You know, Ajia, you’re not exactly one to talk about not using Legendaries.”

I stared. What on earth was he talking about? I shot a glance at Ajia, but she looked just as confused as I felt.

Stalker put a hand to his forehead. “Right, I don’t suppose you told them that, either. Jade, Astrid… do either of you know exactly how you three escaped from the Viridian base?”

“Are you saying that you do know?” Starr asked, fixing him with an incredulous glare. “You weren’t exactly there.”

It would have been easy for anyone else to miss it, but I’d known him long enough to catch the tiny glint in his eye. Like he’d been waiting for someone to ask him that, and was already relishing the chance to explain.

“I admit that it took me a long time to figure it out. I watched the security footage and reviewed the reports all night. You two somehow managed to disappear within a crowd that was actively looking for you, then make it all the way to the transport wing without any Rockets or cameras spotting you. And you did it all with an Umbreon at your side for seemingly no reason.”

That’s right—Umbreon had been with us the entire time. And he hadn’t done anything until the fight with Mewtwo. Of course that was strange, but when I asked Ajia why, she’d just said he was there for luck. Of course there was more to it than that.

Stalker fixed his gaze on Ajia, lips curled into a smirk. “You were very thorough, I’ll give you that. But there was the slightest weirdness about the flash of light when you sent out your Espeon. And why did your Umbreon look like it was concentrating at that exact moment? A moment which took place immediately after the anti-teleport field went down. That wasn’t your Espeon at all, was it? It was something teleporting to you from outside the base. But I don’t think I would have suspected that of being an illusion if not for the fact that no one saw what happened to Mewtwo’s Master Ball. Your entire mission was hidden within an illusion, wasn’t it? And that would explain your Umbreon—or should I say… your Zoroark?”

Zoroark? What? I’d never heard of that Pokémon. And how could it disguise itself as an Umbreon and somehow hide a bunch of other stuff going on around it? I glanced at Ajia, hoping for answers, but she was staring at the ground, brows furrowed in concentration.

Stalker went on, “But what could have been so important to hide? Something strong enough to land a hit on Mewtwo and drop its defenses long enough to break the Master Ball. Something that not only had the ability to teleport, but also to disguise itself—because everyone saw it as an Espeon, even when it was nowhere near Zoroark. And you would never put such a high-stakes plan into motion without some kind of trump card.

“There aren’t many options. I know who the seven are. The only one that fits is Mew. You’re Mew’s chosen.”

What. Ajia was Mew’s… chosen? What? He didn’t honestly believe that Mew had shown up to help us free Mewtwo… did he? Why would the Legendary Mew get involved in our personal drama?

Starr burst out laughing, completely unimpressed. “Are you insane? You don’t seriously think Ajia’s got a friggin’ Legendary, do you?”

I shot another glance at Ajia, desperate for some indicator of what the hell Stalker was talking about, but… she was just staring at him, impressed. She wasn’t denying it. And from the slow grin spreading across Stalker’s face, he knew he was right.

Starr glanced between the two of them, her amused smirk slowly fading into a suspicious glare. “Hang on. He… is just making shit up… right, Ajia?”

He had mentioned “the seven.” The seven Legendaries who would form an alliance with humanity? Mew was one. And it had chosen Ajia? Chosen her for what? I clenched my teeth, desperately forcing every ounce of thought into piecing together the scraps of information.

Stalker knew about the legends. And the Johto force owned Legendaries, but only certain ones. Did that mean there were certain Legendaries he didn’t want to catch?

“You’re only trying to protect the seven special ones from the legend, aren’t you?” I said slowly, my eyes widening as the realization hit me. “The seven that will pick a chosen?”

“What the hell is up with this ‘chosen’ thing that you and Sebastian keep going on about?!” Starr demanded all of a sudden. She then turned toward Ajia and added, “Don’t tell me he’s actually right about this. Was that seriously Mew that broke Mewtwo’s Master Ball? Why didn’t you tell us?!”

And with that, Ajia’s silence finally broke. “I already told you guys that I couldn’t tell you, remember?” she said desperately. “The chosen aren’t supposed reveal their position to anyone; it’s too dangerous at this point.”

“That still doesn’t explain what it is,” Starr said flatly, fixing her with an unimpressed stare.

I turned toward her expectantly, waiting for an answer. Ajia hesitated, her eyes flickering between me and Starr. Both of us staring her down, no longer willing to accept a lack of answers.

“It means I was picked to fight alongside Mew and protect her as the conflict gets worse,” Ajia said slowly. “And… if necessary, she can lend me her power.”

That legend… it was more than just a myth? If the Legendaries were actually making deals with humans, then it had to be real. But why were they doing it? What possible reason could there be for Legendaries to get help from humans?

“I thought you were against humans using the power of the legends, but I suppose not,” Stalker said, folding his arms with a smug grin.

Ajia scoffed. “It’s not the same.”

“Explain to me, then. Why isn’t it the same?”

Ajia raised both eyebrows incredulously. “Mew chose me and I accepted. Your force’s Legendaries didn’t have a choice.”

“Neither did any of the Pokémon you’ve captured, but they accept that and fight for you just the same,” he said, gesturing to her with one palm up.

Ajia threw her arms in the air. “Oh, come on! I’m not having this conversation with you again. No one who fights for you ever really has a choice in it. You just make it look like there is.”

“If you’re going to keep saying things like that, then you’d better be willing to back it up with force,” Stalker muttered, his eyes cold. He had grabbed a Pokéball from his belt, gripping it so tightly his knuckles turned white.

Ajia smirked. “I’ve beaten you before. If it’ll make you leave Jade alone, I’ll do it again.”

Wait, what? Hang on… didn’t I get a choice in any of this?

“You honestly think you can beat me now that I’ve got a Legendary?”

“You just told everyone I’m partnered with Mew, so yes.”

“And how are we different, exactly?” Stalker asked, throwing his arms to the side.

“Stop it!” I yelled, stepping in between them. If I wasn’t careful, we all risked a Legendary fight breaking out right here and now, and that was definitely something I wanted to avoid.

“I get that this conflict between all of you goes way back. But this is about me, and what I’m planning to do from now on,” I said shooting a glare at each one of them in turn. “If you’re gonna talk about what I should do, you should at least talk to me about it.”

Ajia paused, looking taken aback. She threw a confused glance at me, like she honestly hadn’t realized she’d been talking about me like I wasn’t there.

Stalker nodded slowly. “That’s a fair request. You should know that my side is the one that’s going to make a difference in this fight. What can the outer resistance do without access to the inner workings of the team? I accomplished more with twelve-year-olds in four months than the resistance has in the past year.” He turned to Ajia. “You don’t even have the commander on your side anymore, do you?”

Ajia bristled, and for the first time in the conversation, she didn’t have a comeback ready for him. She just glanced away, avoiding his gaze.

“Why does there have to be a ‘side’?” I asked quietly.

“An excellent question,” Stalker said, throwing a significant look towards Ajia.

She screwed her eyes shut. “I tried that. He was the one who used me. He’s the one who thinks imprisoning the Legendaries counts as saving them.”

And then, just as Stalker was about to respond, the muffled sound of something buzzing caught everyone’s attention. It was coming from Stalker’s direction. He sighed, then reached into his pocket and pulled out his R-com. He took a look at the caller, raised an eyebrow, then answered it.

“I said no calls.” Several seconds passed, and then, “How urgent?” His eyes flickered back and forth as he listened to what the caller was saying, then at once, he raised both eyebrows in surprise.

“…that is urgent,” he said slowly.

And then out of nowhere, Ajia stiffened, mouth hanging open like she’d just made a horrible realization. She blinked a few times, eyes darting around until they fell on Stalker.

“This is bad,” she announced.

“I expect you just got the same message I did,” Stalker replied, pocketing his R-com. What? She hadn’t gotten any messages at all. How did he—

“What’s going on?!” Starr demanded.

“Legendaries are attacking the Viridian Rocket HQ,” Ajia said.

A moment of heavy silence followed as Starr and I gaped at each other incredulously. Legendaries were attacking the Viridian base? What? Where the hell had that come from?

“What?” we both said in unison.

Ajia was now pacing back and forth, rubbing her temples. “This is bad, this is really bad,” she said repeatedly.

“Why? So let the stupid Legendaries clobber the Kanto force. I really couldn’t care less anymore,” Starr grumbled.

“It’s not that. The battle’s happening over the city. Just think of how many innocent people are gonna get caught up in that.”

Starr clenched her teeth. “So…?” she asked in her best attempt at nonchalance, despite the obvious concern crossing her face.

“Don’t forget—the Kanto Force isn’t exactly a pushover, even without Mewtwo,” Stalker interjected. “They might be scrambling now, but they will organize. We don’t want them adding to their selection of captured Legendaries, do we?”

That crushing sensation I’d felt after Articuno and Moltres had been captured… I didn’t think I could handle that for a second time. Not if there was something I could do about it.

“I’d go, but after the Entei fiasco, I don’t think I’d be welcome there,” Stalker continued. “And if I caught one of them while disguised, my forces could never use it.” The slightest trace of a grin crossed his face. “But it doesn’t matter, because you three will make sure none of them get caught, won’t you?”

“Like hell we will,” Starr spat.

But Ajia didn’t respond for some time. She was still staring at him, both eyebrows raised incredulously. “Of course. Just like old times. Why take action yourself when you can get everyone else to do your dirty work?” With a half-hearted chuckle, she added, “The funny part is even knowing that, I have to do it.”

Stalker turned away. “There’s no need to be so dramatic. We both want the same thing here. I’m unable to take action right now. You’re able. It’s as simple as that.” And with that, he started walking away.

“Wait, you’re leaving just like that?” I asked.

Stalker paused. “I know better than trying to turn friends against each other. I’m not making the same mistake Giovanni made.” He made eye contact with me. “You would have made a good ally. You had one of the most drastic transformations out of anyone on the Rebellion. But you still lack resolve. What are you really fighting for? I’ll be interested to find out.”

A Pokéball opened, and a flash of light took the familiar form of an orange dragon. He mounted his Charizard and whispered something in her ear. With a nod, she flapped her huge wings and took off to the north.

Starr glared at the space where he’d left. “Of all the arrogant, lying, hypocritical, traitorous shitheads, it had to be Sebastian.”

Even knowing the reason why she despised him so much, her words still stung. That was my leader she was talking about. The leader who’d taught the rebels how to fight people like her—of course she’d hate him. But then… if it was only ever to serve his own agenda… Damn it, what was I supposed to think anymore?

Ajia sighed. “Never mind him. We can’t afford to let him get our spirits down, right?”

Easier said than done. My mind was still reeling from everything I’d just learned. Most of all, the revelation that after all our hard work to protect the Legendaries, he’d been catching them himself anyway.

“I have to know which Legendaries he’s caught,” I said slowly, fighting back the feeling of numbness that was spreading inside me.

Starr gave me a sideways glance. “The Johto force has both Raikou and Entei. And Sebastian has personal ownership of Latios,” she said, her voice dripping with contempt.

My heart sank through the floor. Raikou? After all that effort we went through to save Raikou last August, he just went ahead and caught it? Not to mention… Latios?

Starr turned to face Ajia, arms crossed and looking reluctantly impressed. “So you’ve got a friggin’ Zoroark, huh? No wonder you escaped from Team Rocket as many times as you did. I swore I was going crazy a few of those times you gave me the slip.”

I was still having a hard time wrapping my head around that fact. “So… you don’t even have an Espeon and an Umbreon? It was Mew and Zoroark?”

Ajia shook her head. “No, I do have them. You saw them both for real after that plane crash.”

“But then in the server room… when you let out Espeon, it was actually Mew?”

“I never let Mew or Espeon out of a ball in that room. Sebastian was right; it was all one of Zoroark’s illusions, to hide the fact that Mew teleported to me. I would never ask Mew to go into a Pokéball, even for the sake of a mission like that. And against Mewtwo, Umbreon was the perfect cover—you might not know this, but Zoroark can’t maintain illusions when they’re hit by attacks.”

Ajia had ‘Umbreon’ out with her the entire time we were in the Viridian base. That’s why we had such an easy time getting around the base without incident. It wasn’t that she had better luck than me. She’d made her own luck. She’d always made her own luck.

Ajia was pacing again, muttering to herself. She did this for several seconds while Starr and I watched, then abruptly turned to face us. “I’ve got to help out in Viridian,” she said firmly. “You’ll help too, right Jade?”

I bristled. The idea was honestly terrifying, but… I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t just let that kind of disaster strike my hometown. Not if there was something I could do about it. Slowly, I nodded.

“I’ll come too,” Starr said.

I gaped at her. “Wait, seriously? You got pissed off at Stalker for even suggesting it.”

This whole situation is pissing me off, so I might as well go with you and beat the crap out of my dumbass subordinates,” she muttered, folding her arms. But then her eyes widened with realization, and she suddenly added, “But if you think for even a second that I give a crap about your rebel cause, you’re dead wrong, you hear me?”

“Alright, alright,” Ajia said, holding both palms out defensively. “Anyway, you’ll both want to brace yourselves. We’re gonna teleport to Viridian now.”

It took several seconds for the weirdness of that statement to sink in. But when it did: “How? You don’t have Espeon out.”

Ajia made eye contact with me, grinning sheepishly. “Espeon doesn’t know how to teleport.”

And then, while I was still processing what that meant, a small, pale-rose cat appeared before us in a flash of shimmering light. I blinked stupidly at the sight, barely able to get out the word, “Mew?” before its psychic aura took hold of us, and we all vanished.






~End Chapter 27~

Lmao yeah, the Viridian attack comes out of nowhere, I know. But hey, next chapter is the climax of Book 1. Get hype.

~Chibi~
 
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Ambyssin

Winter can't come soon enough
EEEEEEEEEEEE Espeon and Umbreon are so adorable! <3 <3 <3 I’m not biased, I swear.

-Oh wow this is great. Starr and StalkerCommander Shepard (you brought this on yourself, buddy) are basically doing the Rocket admin equivalent of arguing like little kids. Shep is like the perfect, stoic older brother to the more fiery-tempered “younger sister” Starr.

“Okay, stop!” I yelled, holding out both arms and staring down the both of them. “I am sick and tired of hearing about all this stupid Rocket drama through vague rumors and sideways accusations, and I want answers. You two are finally going to tell me what this freaking revolt was about, and what the hell it has to do with anything, now. In detail. I’m sick of always being in the dark about everything.” I was seething, fists clenched, breathing hard. No more. I was not just going to accept any of this crap anymore.
Go Jade! Object to the powers that be for keeping you in the dark. It’s lampshade hanging but you totally deserve it at this point.

-Wow this whole explanation feels like Shep and Starr trying to play a game of Xanatos speed chess and Shep evidently coming out on top. I’m totally nervous about his motives now. People just shouldn’t be catching Legendaries, period.

“So in case you don’t get it, Jade, this is what he does. Draw people in, get them to do his dirty work, and let them take the heat when things go south.” She paused, then added, “Just like what happened to the rebel team.”
He’s basically the TR version of Lynch from the A-Team! That’s amazing. I can’t stop laughing.

Your entire mission was hidden within an illusion, wasn’t it? And that would explain your Umbreon—or should I say… your Zoroark?”
She uses a Zoroark and an Espeon? Ajia best character confirmed… don’t @ me!

“There aren’t many options. I know who the seven are. The only one that fits is Mew. You’re Mew’s chosen.”
WAIT NEVER MIND NOW SHE’S DEFINITELY BEST CHARACTER CONFIRMED. A part of me’s sad b/c they’re not my favorite Eeveelutions but who cares. Mew and Zoroark! Woo hooo… I’m not making any sense, am I?

-Whoa. So first off we have a bit more elaboration on that legend Jade discovered. But holy semi-heel-face turn, Batman! I mean, I kept alluding that Shep was a spook who gave me bad vibes, but I thought he was just intend to be intentionally creepy, not actually be an anti-villain of sorts. You pull of the twist pretty well, I say. Though I’ll be honest, why it didn’t descend into threats right off the bat is surprising. I mean, I guess they’re trying to say they’re on the same side but their are idealistic differences keeping that at odds. But It’s hard to see Shep as one of the good guys right now. Actually, it’s confusing me a bit. He’s lawful evil, right? Wants TR to stay in existence but only under his terms?

“Legendaries are attacking the Viridian Rocket HQ,” Ajia said.
Oh snap, they done goofed.

Starr gave me a sideways glance. “The Johto Force has both Raikou and Entei. And Sebastian has personal ownership of Latios,” she said, her voice dripping with contempt.
LATIOS? Okay, Shep’s cool with me again. Stop throwing all my favorite ‘mons into this chapter my heart can’t take it. ;~;

I was still having a hard time wrapping my head around that fact. “So… you don’t even have an Espeon and an Umbreon? It was Mew and Zoroark?”

Ajia shook her head. “No, I do have them. You saw them both for real after that plane crash.”

“But then in the server room… when you let out Espeon, it was actually Mew?”

“I never let Mew or Espeon out of a ball in that room. Sebastian was right; it was all one of Zoroark’s illusions, to hide the fact that Mew teleported to me. I would never ask Mew to go into a Pokéball, even for the sake of a mission like that. And against Mewtwo, Umbreon was the perfect cover—you might not know this, but Zoroark can’t maintain illusions when they’re hit by attacks.”

Ajia had “Umbreon” out with her the entire time we were in the Viridian base. That’s why we had such an easy time getting around the base without incident. It wasn’t that she had better luck than me. She’d made her own luck. She’d always made her own luck.
YAAAY! The Eeveelutions are real. Ajia IS ultra super best character ex plus turbo alpha confirmed. And I appreciate that her gambit was quite literally “A Zoroark did it.” That’s something I don’t see Giovanni reliably planning for since they’re not Kanto native. The only other acceptable alternatives would've been "Dittos, man," "It was a Hoopa ring," or "An Ultra Beast did it," and I know the latter isn't showing up in this story. I retract my “this seems off” comment about her gambit from, like, my first review.
 

Dragonfree

Just me
“It makes all the difference in the world,” Stalker replied immediately. His expression had turned darkly serious.
Oh no, this all has to do with the prophecy, hasn't it.

“Okay, stop!” I yelled, holding out both arms and staring down the both of them. “I am sick and tired of hearing about all this stupid Rocket drama through vague rumors and sideways accusations, and I want answers. You two are finally going to tell me what this freaking revolt was about, and what the hell it has to do with anything, now. In detail. I’m sick of always being in the dark about everything.” I was seething, fists clenched, breathing hard. No more. I was not just going to accept any of this crap anymore.
Go Jaaaade

Jade is surprised Stalker is eighteen, but back in chapter eight, he was described this way:

It was easy to sense the group’s surprise from the revelation that he was probably not much older than seventeen or eighteen. Still, he gave off the impression of someone much older and more mature; in a strange sort of way I felt childish by comparison.
So there it definitely sounds like she immediately pegged him as actually around eighteen, but thought he had an older air about him, instead of actually believing he was older.

And that would explain your Umbreon—or should I say… your Zoroark
fghhfukyfuk why didn't I guess that. If I had remembered Zoroark existed I would 100% have guessed that was it.

“There aren’t many options. I know who the seven are. The only one that fits is Mew. You’re Mew’s chosen.”
And there we go, Stalker knows all about the seven legendaries involved with this prophecy.

Stalker knew about the legends. And the Johto force owned Legendaries, but only certain ones. Which meant there were some Legendaries that he wanted to remain uncaptured, no matter what.
That doesn't seem to follow - from the wording of 'only certain ones', it sounds more like there are only a few particular legendaries he does want captured.

“Neither did any of the Pokémon you’ve captured, but they accept that and fight for you just the same,” he said, gesturing to her with one palm up.
Huh. Is he implying they didn't originally use mind-control on Entei? (And since we learn later he has Latios - that Latios is fighting for him willingly?)

“If you’re going to keep saying things like that, then you’d better be willing to back it up with force,” Stalker muttered, his eyes cold. He had grabbed a Pokéball from his belt, gripping it so tightly his knuckles turned white.
Stalker is obviously pretty sensitive about this in particular, the idea that he's using and manipulating people (or at least the Rebellion in particular). I think he's one way or another convinced himself he's not, or not in a 'bad way', even though it's pretty undeniable he's misled people for his own ends and that's been made plain in this very conversation. It'll be interesting to see what's really going on in his head - I still think he did care about the rebels and that this chapter implies as much with these little bursts of defensiveness in the middle of his otherwise stoic facade, but obviously there's a huge amount he wasn't telling them and he's got a lot of hidden agendas going on.

She screwed her eyes shut. “I tried that. He was the one who used me. He’s the one who thinks imprisoning the Legendaries counts as saving them.”

And then, just as Stalker was about to respond, the muffled sound of something buzzing caught everyone’s attention.
It seems significant you chose to cut the conversation off here and not let us hear Stalker's response to that for now.

What? She hadn’t gotten any messages at all. How did he—
Mew, I assume?

Stalker paused. “I know better than to try to turn friends against each other. I’m not making the same mistake Giovanni made.” He made eye contact with me. “You would have made a good ally. You had one of the most drastic transformations out of anyone on the Rebellion. But you still lack resolve. What are you really fighting for? I’ll be interested to find out.”
Interesting choice of words there - almost like he expressly wanted to see the Rebellion kids transform. Still suspect he was hoping some of them would get chosen, and that in particular he's getting at Jade having come pretty close. Perhaps "figuring out what you're fighting for" is some form of trigger for the legendary to make their choice.

(Maybe the legendaries will inevitably choose kids, and that's why Stalker collected a bunch of kids and made them train right near those ruins - trying to be close to some of the chosen when he can't be one himself?)

(Calling it Lugia will choose Jade in chapter 28?)

I can't shake the feeling everything Stalker's done is about this damn prophecy somehow.

I reread the chapter 24 extra and noticed a couple of things. First, I had been curious about exactly why Ajia didn't want this Sebastian to know about their attempt to free Mewtwo, despite knowing that he'd be happy about it - it makes a lot of sense given she just really doesn't like him or want anything to do with him. It seems clear now that Lexx is probably a loyal part of the Johto force under Sebastian, who helps out Ajia since they really are working for similar goals for now (and they're friends). I also noticed this:

>Tetra: I need to know how the Legendary control works.
>Sakari: see that's kind of a trade secret
>Tetra: You know I could figure it out sooner or later.
>Tetra: Sooner just means I'll use it against Giovanni and not you guys.
>Sakari: ha, try using it against us, you'll find it won't work
>Tetra: ?
>Tetra: I'm not even gonna ask
Which I had also been curious about and now seems to make sense. Ajia thinks they're using the legendary control tech, hence the comment about how she'll use the knowledge of how it works against Giovanni and not them - but I'm guessing Lexx's response means that they are in fact not using the tech at all, as Stalker seemed to vaguely imply in this chapter.

It was a satisfying chapter, as we learn about a lot of things that have been kept very vague up until now, and the explanations all live up to it, I think - Z being a Zoroark made a lot of sense, and Espeon actually having been Mew was a nice surprise (I had started to suspect something was up with Espeon as well, but definitely did not call that). It was also fun to see the characters play off one another here - Stalker presenting things from his point of view making himself sound like an infallible chessmaster as always (but with more blatant 'I used people'), Starr and Ajia calling him out on his manipulations, Stalker getting defensive about the rebels, Jade finally insisting people actually tell her things and finally getting her answers.

Looking forward to chapter 28. Lugia chosen goooo
 

3DSRed

Alias RedAgent14
So, this is the "flashback scene" chapter. Yay for exposition!

I also only just realized how Shepard makes me smile, yet pissed off at the same time. But not because of what he did, more because of how grey his morals seem to be compared to the rest of the cast.

I also hope I'm not the only one who remembers what you said about this fic in relation to other "chosen one" style fics back in Chapter 17.
In addition, have we just reached the end of the NaNoWriMo chapters?
 

diamondpearl876

Well-Known Member
You said things I was looking forward to were coming, and you were certainly right! I liked seeing Jade assert herself a little bit more and demand answers. She demanded her presence be seen, and the fact that Ajia and Starr didn't really realize they were talking like she wasn't there... isn't surprising. It's an easy thing to do, but not a kind one to keep repeating once you've been told you've been doing it. So I hope the two choose to listen to Jade, whatever her decisions may be. ;o; I have a feeling she's leaning more toward Stalker's side at the moment, but I can't imagine her taking the anger from Ajia and Starr about taking his side. So... my prediction is that she's going to be in a Starr-esque situation in that she tries to please them both but really just has to choose in the end. Regardless, there's a lot of neat parallel themes going on between all of them.

The exposition here was interesting to read through dialogue. My only complaint might be that Jade had very few reactions along the way when usually she has a ton, but I mean, I didn't forget about her. Or maybe the point was to make it look like she was forgotten, because she was. Stalker keeping his cool versus Ajia/Starr throwing accusations and insults all over the place really says something. Whether or not he's in the wrong, he's hearing the girls out and letting them say what they need to say without causing a ruckus right back. That definitely gives a more mature aura. He did want to start an actual battle at some point, which seemed to come out of nowhere - more so than the Viridian base attack - but it's hard to say if he'd actually go through with it or not. Stalker also only losing his cool over Jade is interesting - perhaps he knows more about her than he lets on, like, say, her being Lugia's chosen, which is a prediction from Dragonfree I can get on board with. ;)

tl;dr this chapter had a delicious amount of much needed exposition that was portrayed in an interesting way - through character dynamics, namely. See ya for the next installments, as always! ;D
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Whoa! I better reply to reviews before they get out of hand! I love that that's a thing that's happening. You guys are awesome. <3

@Ambyssin:

-Oh wow this is great. Starr and StalkerCommander Shepard (you brought this on yourself, buddy) are basically doing the Rocket admin equivalent of arguing like little kids. Shep is like the perfect, stoic older brother to the more fiery-tempered “younger sister” Starr.
This is even better considering that Starr's actual brother is the obnoxious troll type of younger brother.

People just shouldn’t be catching Legendaries, period.
I'm just gonna quote this for later.

She uses a Zoroark and an Espeon? Ajia best character confirmed… don’t @ me!

WAIT NEVER MIND NOW SHE’S DEFINITELY BEST CHARACTER CONFIRMED. A part of me’s sad b/c they’re not my favorite Eeveelutions but who cares. Mew and Zoroark! Woo hooo… I’m not making any sense, am I?
Ahaha, ok, your reactions Ajia's team having more and more faves is the best. xD

YAAAY! The Eeveelutions are real. Ajia IS ultra super best character ex plus turbo alpha confirmed. And I appreciate that her gambit was quite literally “A Zoroark did it.” That’s something I don’t see Giovanni reliably planning for since they’re not Kanto native. The only other acceptable alternatives would've been "Dittos, man," "It was a Hoopa ring," or "An Ultra Beast did it," and I know the latter isn't showing up in this story. I retract my “this seems off” comment about her gambit from, like, my first review.
You have no idea how hard it was to hold my tongue. xD Seriously though Mew and Zoroark... there was almost no way Ajia wasn't escaping from the Viridian base.

@Dragonfree:

Jade is surprised Stalker is eighteen, but back in chapter eight, he was described this way:

So there it definitely sounds like she immediately pegged him as actually around eighteen, but thought he had an older air about him, instead of actually believing he was older.
Oh damn it. I keep waffling on this and forgetting what I decided. Hmm... think I might prefer to just cut that little bit from this chapter rather than change her initial perception.

fghhfukyfuk why didn't I guess that. If I had remembered Zoroark existed I would 100% have guessed that was it.
:D :D :D

Stalker is obviously pretty sensitive about this in particular, the idea that he's using and manipulating people (or at least the Rebellion in particular). I think he's one way or another convinced himself he's not, or not in a 'bad way', even though it's pretty undeniable he's misled people for his own ends and that's been made plain in this very conversation. It'll be interesting to see what's really going on in his head - I still think he did care about the rebels and that this chapter implies as much with these little bursts of defensiveness in the middle of his otherwise stoic facade, but obviously there's a huge amount he wasn't telling them and he's got a lot of hidden agendas going on.
People analyzing Stalker gives me life.

I can't shake the feeling everything Stalker's done is about this damn prophecy somehow.
all of your speculation gives me life

Looking forward to chapter 28. Lugia chosen goooo
I cannot wait to see your reactions to 28.

(Also: still working on the Monster Review Response; I'll definitely try to have it out before 28.)

@3DSRed:

I also only just realized how Shepard makes me smile, yet pissed off at the same time. But not because of what he did, more because of how grey his morals seem to be compared to the rest of the cast.
Then I've gone my job! :D

I also hope I'm not the only one who remembers what you said about this fic in relation to other "chosen one" style fics back in Chapter 17.
In addition, have we just reached the end of the NaNoWriMo chapters?
Actually, for NaNoWriMo I mostly wrote content for Book 2, which we haven't gotten to yet. But we're still in the middle of chapters that I posted in the old thread once upon a time. Only three left!

@diamondpearl876:

She demanded her presence be seen, and the fact that Ajia and Starr didn't really realize they were talking like she wasn't there... isn't surprising. It's an easy thing to do, but not a kind one to keep repeating once you've been told you've been doing it. So I hope the two choose to listen to Jade, whatever her decisions may be. ;o;
This is actually really important to the next time Jade actually gets a moment to talk to the two of them without the plot getting in the way.

I have a feeling she's leaning more toward Stalker's side at the moment, but I can't imagine her taking the anger from Ajia and Starr about taking his side. So... my prediction is that she's going to be in a Starr-esque situation in that she tries to please them both but really just has to choose in the end.
I think her decision will surprise you in the end! ;D

The exposition here was interesting to read through dialogue. My only complaint might be that Jade had very few reactions along the way when usually she has a ton, but I mean, I didn't forget about her. Or maybe the point was to make it look like she was forgotten, because she was.
Yeah, I found that when I put too many of her reactions in the middle of his story, it got really repetitive, so I trimmed it down to try to make it like she was captivated by all of it.

Thanks for the reviews, all of you! I'm so glad that the reveals were interesting! Doubly so considering that this chapter is very similar to its incarnation in the old thread! Speaking of chapters that are very similar: Chapter 28. The only major difference? Mewtwo. >:3

~Chibi~;249;;448;

Edit: I forgot to leave you all with this alternate artwork for Chapter 27:
ch27art2_by_chibi_pika-dbmjfu3.png
 
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Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Oh **** looks like we're oN THE ROAD TO VIRIDIAN CITY

(Yes, instantly appearing there [or thereabouts] counts as being "on the road" to there now. :p)

I feel like we've gotten to know Stalkerbastian quite a lot more over the course of this chapter. I'm not altogether certain how I feel about his motives, and I like that. He seems complicated, very morally/ethically gray, and that **** fascinates me.

Liked Starr in this chapter quite a bit, too. Especially here:

“I’ll come too,” Starr said.

I gaped at her. “Wait, seriously? You got pissed off at Stalker for even suggesting it.”

“This whole situation is pissing me off, so I might as well go with you and beat the crap out of my ******* subordinates,” she muttered, folding her arms. But then her eyes widened with realization, and she suddenly added, “But if you think for even a second that I give a crap about your rebel cause, you’re dead wrong, you hear me?”

But it was too late. A crap was already given. :B
 

Negrek

Lost but Seeking
Chapter 26

I like the opening scene here! It's nice to get a little bit of a feel for what Jade's life was like before she found Firestorm and got swept up in this mess. After all the crazy go-go-go that this story's been from pretty much the beginning, it's always nice to have lulls like this, some time to appreciate the idyllic happy-friend days that Jade hasn't gotten to experience, like, at all since she got dragged into this mess. It might be fun to see some little extras from her life before the story started, when she was hanging out with Rudy and so on; I bet they'd be cute!

The reactions of the pokémon here are interesting. I don't know that we'll get to see much of the teams interacting, but it seems to me like it could be fun. Like, what do normal Rocket pokémon think of the experiments? Is there a bias against them, or do they not really care about their origins? I imagine Aros and Arcanine wouldn't really get along, but would the others automatically dislike each other, or is it understood that the Rocket pokémon were going along with their trainer/do the Rocket pokémon blame Jade rather than her team for making Starr leave TR? I think there could be some interesting dynamics going on there.

Starr gave me a look that plainly said I was an idiot while gesturing both hands at the duffel bag full of money.
Normally you'd say something like "gestured with both hands."

I bought something resembling a bacon pancake (a local specialty) from a food cart and then sought out one of the many training parks in the area.
I missed the origin of the bacon pancake, I think, but I gotta say I'm with Dragonfree on this one.

It had only been two days since the attack on Midnight. Two days. And he had spent most of that time in stasis, inside his Pokéball.
I'm curious, do you have time pass for pokémon inside pokéballs at all? What Jade suggests here is that it doesn't, which would mean for Chibi it's only been, like, fifteen minutes since Razors died? (Or did Jade leave him out of the ball overnight at one point? Can't remember.) In any case, I definitey understand why she wants to talk with him, but tbh I think what the poor guy probably needs more is a bit of space and time to start trying to work through this thing. Talking to him and popping him back into the ball won't do much if ball-time doesn't actually let him reflect on anything... (Well, if pokémon can let themselves out, then they must have some sense of self and of time while in the ball. idk)

The conversation between Chibi and Jade was good, though! Poor Jade really just has no idea how to handle this, and she's right... there's nothing she can do or say to make this better. And Chibi's attitude is so twisted and irrational, but of course it's what makes sense from his POV. And of course he wants to keep fighting... with even less concern for whether he makes it out alive, I'm sure.

She was now dressed in leather jacket with black leggings...
In *a leather jacket

Sounds like Astrid's gone a little goth. :p

It was a strange thought, but I glad to have her by my side.
but I *was glad

“I’m a huge target. That night proved as much—approaching the rebels in that situation would have been a death sentence. For them as well as me.”
okay sure Stalker

For three months, we’d looked up to him and relied on him for everything, and then he was suddenly gone with nothing but a text message telling us that he was even alive.
I'm a little confused by this sentence. "Nothing but a text message" implies that he did send a text (can't remember if this was the case, too lazy to go back and check), but "telling us that he was even alive" would be closer to what you'd use if he didn't send one at all. I think if he did send the text you'd want something like "nothing but a text message letting us know he was alive," and if not, "gone without even a text message to tell us he was alive."

All in all, this is a pretty nice transitional sort of chapter. It's also quite long, I noticed on re-reading it, but that didn't bother me at all the first time through. The worldbuilding on Goldenrod was quite nice in particular; it really feels like a cohesive, lived-in place, and very convincing as an actual working city. My favorite parts of the chapter were the bits where Jade and Starr were just talking, though. I really like how you've been handling their relationship. It's definitely slow, painful going for both of them, but it feels very true-to-life, and also like they're both really trying despite the fact that they keep messing it up in one way or another. It's very sweet.

Anyway, as Starr's ending line indicates, the real meat of things is in the next chapter, so let's go there!

Chapter 27

And it's the chapter that's just one big conversation! Nothing wrong with that--you had to get this information out somehow, and it reads pretty quick.

That is what I’m known as, and I am the Johto commander.
Took me a minute to realize "that's what I'm known as" meant "Sebastian Shepard." That phrasing rather implies that it's not his real name; not sure whether you meant to do that.

I'm kind of surprised Jade's so surprised Stalker turned out to be the Johto commander rather than the Kanto commander. I mean, she already knew he had to be a pretty high-ranking Rocket member, and she'd speculated that he was the Kanto commander... so what does it matter what region he's head of? Although it does make all the talk about the Johto branch being backwards/incompetent etc. a lot funnier in hindsight.

A wave of anger suddenly flared up inside me. “So… what, you were only having us prevent the Kanto force from catching the Legendaries so that you could capture them all yourself?”

He chuckled under his breath. “Of course not. We’re only catching certain ones.”

“Certain ones?” I said incredulously. “Why would it matter which ones you catch? What difference does it make?”

“It makes all the difference in the world,” Stalker replied immediately. His expression had turned darkly serious.
Welp, this does seem like it has to be to do with the prophecy. Whether he wants to catch certain legendaries to get them partnered up with people, as happened with Latios(?), or he wants to capture certain of the legends that aren't so on board with the balance-restoring ones so they can't so much get in the way. (I mean, I'm assuming that his "catch the legendaries to prevent other people from misusing them" rationale is complete ********.)

Of course, this whole "catch the legendaries to save the legendaries" thing reminds me of a certain other character's terrible "catch the legendaries to save the legendaries" plan...

Man, all of this talk about rebellions and internal power struggles in Team Rocket makes it sound like half the freaking team's in mutiny. I mean, they've lost both the Kanto and Johto commanders to resistance, one way or another, plus Kanto's combat exec, people like Stracion, so forth. idk, for the team to be at all functional I know the resistance can't be more than a tiny fraction of the overall population, but all this talk of rebellion is making me think of that Far Side cartoon with the wolves in sheep's clothing. "Wait a minute! Isn't anyone here a real Rocket?" How are Starr etc. finding so many disaffected Rockets among the ranks? Most people were kind of aware of what they were signing up for when joining, weren't they? Maybe TR needs to remove that slogan, "Team Rocket: the team to join if you love to hug pokémon!" from their marketing materials...

More to the point, I'm wondering how some of these characters got caught up in TR in the first place. We know about Starr. Stalker I could see having joined the team for normal reasons but later seen the opportunity to turn it to his own ends with the legendary project. But Ajia? I'm guessing she was never about their mission, so did she join just to cause trouble? And was that before or after she met up with Mew?

I have to say that I keep getting the Resistance and the Rebellion mixed up. The names are a little too similar for me. ^^;

I'm a little unclear on the timeline here. Stalker says he got promoted and found out Ajia was causing trouble last summer--a little over a year ago. Starr says she was promoted to executive in the spring, which would be about six to eight months , and implies that her promotion came after all the revolt shenanigans. idk, six to eight months seems like quite a short time for all that recruiting of team members, convincing the Kanto commander to defect, the big attack, and then the "long recovery" Starr mentions. And, I mean, I assume she wasn't promoted to exec right away after the rebel she was supposed to be dealing with escaped like that and Giovanni punished her for it. Though I suppose it's also only been, what, a few months since Stalker started his new "Rebellion" group? And rather a lot happened in that time...

What can the outer resistance do without access to the inner workings of the team? I accomplished more with twelve-year-olds in three months than the resistance has in the past year
The outer resistance being... the group of Rockets who left after the revolt? Which hasn't been around for a year, but I guess if he's also taking the time before it was "outer" into account... it sounds like it was pretty successful to me!

And whoah, I definitely thought it had been longer than three months since the Rebellion started. That's... kind of extreme. Doesn't seem to me like that would be long enough to give the kids any sort of adequate training AND get them integrated with the team PLUS have multiple legendary missions occur. I mean, when you frame it as "twelve-year-olds managed to infiltrate and majorly sabotage multiple high-profile Team Rocket projects in three months," it does sound pretty absurd.

You don’t even have the commander on your side anymore, do you?
Huh, I wonder if that dude's going to be relevant later.

Ajia made eye contact with me, grinning sheepishly. “My Espeon doesn’t know how to teleport.”
Ahaha, I was going to complain earlier about how espeon can't learn teleport, but since so many people just give it to psychic pokémon along with telepathy and such as "a thing psychics can do." But in fact, it was A Clue.

Anyway, this chapter was a lot to take in, and I'm still not entirely convinced by some of the logistics here, but it was fun for everyone to get a chance to yell at Stalker! He's never claimed to be a hero, but he barely even tries to justify himself here, heh. It's something of a tough crowd. Like others have said, it' nice to see Jade demanding (and getting) answers, but then she ends up kind of fading into the background once everybody else started going at each other. Still an outsider, still in way over her head with people who aren't being terribly honest with her...

Best of luck getting out of your writing slump with Chapter 28! I'm sure it'll be a fun one. And from that fanart you posted, perhaps we'll be getting an evolution? (Or maybe the next chapter, since you already showed the title card for 28 and it didn't involve Swift.) Back to the action! I'm looking forward to it.
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
@Sike Saner:

I feel like we've gotten to know Stalkerbastian quite a lot more over the course of this chapter. I'm not altogether certain how I feel about his motives, and I like that. He seems complicated, very morally/ethically gray, and that **** fascinates me.
“Stalkerbastian” lmao I love it. xD

And I’m glad you enjoyed his moral ambiguity. Of course, I just realized this is the last we’ve seen from him for a while because for some reason I decided to have his first Book 2 appearance be all the way in Chapter 37. Ugh. Why did I do that. Oh well, he’ll get plenty of opportunities to mess with people and settle into the chessmaster role for real, so I can’t be too upset.

But it was too late. A crap was already given. :B
This is pretty much Starr in a nutshell:
idontcare_by_chibi_pika-dbogxeh.gif

@Negrek:

The reactions of the pokémon here are interesting. I don't know that we'll get to see much of the teams interacting, but it seems to me like it could be fun. Like, what do normal Rocket pokémon think of the experiments? Is there a bias against them, or do they not really care about their origins? I imagine Aros and Arcanine wouldn't really get along, but would the others automatically dislike each other, or is it understood that the Rocket pokémon were going along with their trainer/do the Rocket pokémon blame Jade rather than her team for making Starr leave TR? I think there could be some interesting dynamics going on there.
I actually wrote an entire conversation about this in 2006! Not sure if I’ll ever get to use it (probably not, it doesn’t really fit anymore) but I like that I actually know the answers to these questions. In short: Rocket Pokémon think the experiments are bloody nuts, and Starr’s Pokémon absolutely blame Jade, though her team is considered guilty by association.

I'm curious, do you have time pass for pokémon inside pokéballs at all? What Jade suggests here is that it doesn't, which would mean for Chibi it's only been, like, fifteen minutes since Razors died? (Or did Jade leave him out of the ball overnight at one point? Can't remember.) In any case, I definitey understand why she wants to talk with him, but tbh I think what the poor guy probably needs more is a bit of space and time to start trying to work through this thing. Talking to him and popping him back into the ball won't do much if ball-time doesn't actually let him reflect on anything... (Well, if pokémon can let themselves out, then they must have some sense of self and of time while in the ball. idk)
Time does pass, but in a hazy, dreamlike manner. Otherwise it’d be really hard to explain how some Pokémon can let themselves out, and that’s come up so many times in canon, that it’d feel weird to just outright ignore it. In this case, the concern is more that he’s deliberately not letting himself reflect on anything (sort of like someone going through trauma and then attempting to sleep as much as possible to not have to be awake and feel things.

I'm a little confused by this sentence. "Nothing but a text message" implies that he did send a text (can't remember if this was the case, too lazy to go back and check), but "telling us that he was even alive" would be closer to what you'd use if he didn't send one at all. I think if he did send the text you'd want something like "nothing but a text message letting us know he was alive," and if not, "gone without even a text message to tell us he was alive."
He did send a text—an hour or so after the attack, so Jade did know that like, he hadn’t been killed by Moltres or anything. But yeah, I think I see what you mean, I can go with the first reword option there.

Took me a minute to realize "that's what I'm known as" meant "Sebastian Shepard." That phrasing rather implies that it's not his real name; not sure whether you meant to do that.
Sebastian has an unusual philosophy on name vs identity, which is actually an important theme in the fic.

I'm kind of surprised Jade's so surprised Stalker turned out to be the Johto commander rather than the Kanto commander. I mean, she already knew he had to be a pretty high-ranking Rocket member, and she'd speculated that he was the Kanto commander... so what does it matter what region he's head of? Although it does make all the talk about the Johto branch being backwards/incompetent etc. a lot funnier in hindsight.
Hm. That’s a good point. Her reaction might be a bit outdated—it fits the context of the old version of this scene, but not the new version. I should tweak it to be more suspicious/wary of this revelation rather than surprised.

Man, all of this talk about rebellions and internal power struggles in Team Rocket makes it sound like half the freaking team's in mutiny. I mean, they've lost both the Kanto and Johto commanders to resistance, one way or another, plus Kanto's combat exec, people like Stracion, so forth. idk, for the team to be at all functional I know the resistance can't be more than a tiny fraction of the overall population, but all this talk of rebellion is making me think of that Far Side cartoon with the wolves in sheep's clothing. "Wait a minute! Isn't anyone here a real Rocket?" How are Starr etc. finding so many disaffected Rockets among the ranks? Most people were kind of aware of what they were signing up for when joining, weren't they? Maybe TR needs to remove that slogan, "Team Rocket: the team to join if you love to hug pokémon!" from their marketing materials...
Alright, yeah, I’ve definitely oversold the extent of the revolt. x__x While it was supposed to be A Big Deal, it shouldn’t read like it was a sizable percentage of the ranks or anything. A couple dozen Rockets going rogue at the exact same time is a pain in the ***, sure, but… not exactly a significant percentage of the member roster overall (less than 1%, that’s for sure.) I definitely need to make that clearer.

More to the point, I'm wondering how some of these characters got caught up in TR in the first place. We know about Starr. Stalker I could see having joined the team for normal reasons but later seen the opportunity to turn it to his own ends with the legendary project. But Ajia? I'm guessing she was never about their mission, so did she join just to cause trouble? And was that before or after she met up with Mew?
Ooh, I actually know this one. Ajia answers a few of those questions in Chapter 29 and 35. And as for Stalker… he gets the entirety of Chapter 46 to answer that one.

I'm a little unclear on the timeline here. Stalker says he got promoted and found out Ajia was causing trouble last summer--a little over a year ago. Starr says she was promoted to executive in the spring, which would be about six to eight months , and implies that her promotion came after all the revolt shenanigans. idk, six to eight months seems like quite a short time for all that recruiting of team members, convincing the Kanto commander to defect, the big attack, and then the "long recovery" Starr mentions. And, I mean, I assume she wasn't promoted to exec right away after the rebel she was supposed to be dealing with escaped like that and Giovanni punished her for it. Though I suppose it's also only been, what, a few months since Stalker started his new "Rebellion" group? And rather a lot happened in that time...
Hmm… that’s a good point. I hadn’t quite looked at it like that before. I think I should push back the time it started to earlier in ’97, which would add at least another five months or so. I wanted it to be after Stalker became executive, but I don’t necessarily need it to be.

Also, no one asked, but this is a good opportunity to explain something. Starr being such a young executive is obviously down to family connections, but Stalker being made a commander at such a young age is 100% due to him having Latios. Like, he literally walked into the admins’ inner circle with Latios floating right there and said “make me commander.” There is totally going to be an extra about this.

And whoah, I definitely thought it had been longer than three months since the Rebellion started. That's... kind of extreme. Doesn't seem to me like that would be long enough to give the kids any sort of adequate training AND get them integrated with the team PLUS have multiple legendary missions occur. I mean, when you frame it as "twelve-year-olds managed to infiltrate and majorly sabotage multiple high-profile Team Rocket projects in three months," it does sound pretty absurd.
For some reason, I always felt like I was artificially inflating the amount of time that had passed, what with all the random two/three-week gaps that are stated to take place between each arc. And yet, at the end of it all, it adds up to a little over three months (mid-July through end of October), and I’m sitting here like “huh… I thought it was longer too.”

Huh, I wonder if that dude's going to be relevant later.
Has the answer to that ever been no? :p

Ahaha, I was going to complain earlier about how espeon can't learn teleport, but since so many people just give it to psychic pokémon along with telepathy and such as "a thing psychics can do." But in fact, it was A Clue.
Ahaha, that’s great. I was torn between “man I really hope no one notices this” and “I really hope someone realizes this, because I am far too proud of it.” So having someone notice but not say anything is the best of both worlds. xD

Best of luck getting out of your writing slump with Chapter 28! I'm sure it'll be a fun one. And from that fanart you posted, perhaps we'll be getting an evolution? (Or maybe the next chapter, since you already showed the title card for 28 and it didn't involve Swift.) Back to the action! I'm looking forward to it.
Thanks! It’s a lot of pressure to get everything just perfect, especially with the imminent time skip at the end of Book 1. So many things that I have to nail right now or else I won’t ever get a second chance. And a lot of really tricky character motivations come into play in this one. I just gotta get past the first scene—I think the rest of it will pretty much write itself after that.

~Chibi~;249;;448;
 
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DeliriousAbsol

Call me Del
I've got a lot of catching up to do here, so I'm gonna post my reviews for the first eight chapters. I've been making notes as I go along, and I am absolutely loving this story. You have no idea XD

Prologue

I've finally got around to reading this, and I have to say I'm already blown away. The opening description of what I can assume is a Lugia leaping out of the water is very vivid. My attention span is atrocious at the best of times and I was re-reading some parts simply because I didn't want to miss anything. That's a sure indication you've got me hooked!

Already we know something big is going on, and I'm excited to see where that leads.

Then we're introduced to the main character. Lots of individual personalities, and I really feel for the main character with her friend moving away. When her friend said her father was staying in Viridian, and mentioned a brother, I was half expecting her to be Giovanni's daughter and her brother to be Silver and you're setting up a parallel to the events of Gen 2. So my guess for future events here is that you either re-named her brother for the sake of the story, or I am painfully mistaken! But wow what a twist it would be if that came up!

Chapter 1

Woo! Time skips!

Aaaaand another friend is moving away =(

Gotta admit, thought his dog was a zorua. Was the other one a growlithe? Hoping I got my pokemon identification right that time around XD

I absolutely love how her pidgey isn't just a generic bird and behaves like a sentient creature, even so much as to tell her that what's going on with all that smoke is bad. That disaster had me shocked. Humans did that? All those dead pokemon... and that poor Entei!! You portrayed that struggle really well. I'm worried things won't end well for that poor Legend.

The two sides to Team Rocket kind of reminds me of Team Plasma. That's super interesting, I was under the impression this story would be written from the point of view of a Team Rocket criminal. I'm not sure where things are going by the end of the chapter. Is the charmander going to survive? Will Jade be unwillingly dragged into Team Rocket? You've left me hanging! XD

Chapter 2

Oh drat, the Rockets did catch her after all.

When that guy shot at Swift, I feared for the little bird. Thank goodness he dodged!

Expect…there was no way out.

I think that might be a typo? It's the first one I've seen so far, if so.

So, little Swift went for help! I absolutely love Spencer, right off the bat. He's got some of the best lines so far! Also, he has like... the best fire pokemon ever! Woo! Typhlosion! That earns him extra Awesome Points =D

“It’s…it’s a Pikachu?” Spencer blurted out, stifling a laugh. “A Pikachu?”

Except something looked…off…about it. It was missing the familiar red cheek markings. And…the fur on its head was long and stiffly pointed, almost like feathers. And then its eyes suddenly snapped open, revealing a pair of fiercely intense brown irises.

Aww =3

“I hesitated. “Guys…I don’t think—”

A flood of lightning surged out of the rodent’s body at once! I jumped backward without thinking as a bolt flew dangerously close to where I’d been standing. Right after that, the experiment surged past me in an instant, seeking out the highest point it could find before sending waves of electricity flying around.”

Oh... hmm... that things dangerous, huh? Not quite so 'aww' then?

And it's a Zapdos hybrid? So that's what they're doing with the legends?!

I can't work out what the scyther is hybridised with, but I'm keen to find out. Whatever it is, it seems pretty deadly now, though D=


Chapter 3

Firstly, I love Spencer. He's a delight, so don't apologise =P

The tension in this chapter was fantastic! I love the battle chaos, and oh man that pikachu. It's like he can't seem to decide what side he's on. His own, or the protag's.

Spencer clenched his fist. “Well, crap. I thought that would be, well…super effective.”

XD love it

The Raticate shot forward, recoiling backward when it was faced (by) the ball of fire Typhlosion had surrounded itself in

“Told (you) we’d be able to get out of this.”

I think some words are missing here?

That ending though. Man, you give them a light at the end of the tunnel then 'avalanche!'


Chapter 4

Gah, I love your use of description! It really paints a vivid picture, and portraying battles isn't the easiest task! You keep me gripped the whole way through. The flames flying, and the way you described Firestorm's fangs dripping flames was a nice touch. Also the flareon biting at Pichu with fangs 'glowing like hot iron'... gah, I'm a sucker for metaphors and imagery. That last one is really my favourite from this chapter.

This was a pretty intense chapter. I totally wasn't expecting Jade's friend to reappear like that. Looks like she's got more to her now, too. Did she join Charizard Guy, maybe?

The use of TMs is really cool, too. I really like how it doesn't automatically give them the move but just the potential to use it. That takes the OP out of it, and adds for interesting world building. Getting a sneak peak into the method from Rudy and his squirtle was pretty cool. I look forward to the possibility that we may see Jade teaching Firestorm to use Fire Blast.

Wanted to point something out that stood out to me:

She probably had the Raichu probably put up a Light Screen at the last second

The use of 'probably' twice doesn't sound right to me, so bringing it up perchance it's a mistake.

Also, I loved this so much!

The dark fox charged forward, squirting out a noxious liquid from its pores and hitting the Arcanine right on target.

That use of Pokedex lore!! =D

It's nice this chapter ended on a more positive note. It gives the end of that battle a nice final feel. But I can't help but wonder if we're gonna see these same Rocket guys again.


Chapter 5

“Scary organization that tried to kill us now has an ultra-powerful fire-breathing weapon. I hope I’m not the only one bothered by this,” Spencer commented.

No, you're not. I am, too D=

Ajia has my interest piqued. I initially thought she might be related to Giovanni. Now I'm wondering if she's working with the Charizard Guy. I'm not ruling out the possibility of both, either.

Swift not being much of a talker is kinda cute XD

Now she's got an SS Anne ticket, and we know Charizard Guy's name. Stalker... hmm.


Chapter 6

Managing to get onto the ship without having ID and license checks is super convenient for our protagonist. Really well explained, as well. Without pre-booking, you don't need a check. Pretty cool, Charizard Guy. Like... does he know she doesn't have a license?

I absolutely love Chibi. He kicks butt. The way he handled that Rocket was pretty brutal. He also seems to have accepted Jade as a sort-of-trainer, too. And seems a bit more down to earth than he initially came across.


Chapter 7

Wow this chapter... Had me on the edge of my seat, especially near the end.

And then I spotted him. He was…clinging to the metal roof? How was he…? I could see a crackling of electricity across his paws as the Pikachu slowly crawled across it, stopping to position himself above the group of Rockets. Just a few more inches…

Ooh, clever! Like a magnet!

I know I've already said this, but I love Chibi. He's such an interesting character, and loveable in his way. And I am totally worried for him right now. Those Rockets had better let him go D=<

I wasn't expecting Firestorm to evolve so soon. Kinda wanted him to stay as a charmander for a while longer. I guess his confidence improved because he was about to evolve? Either that or he's a closet bad-***.

Swift whooping that Rocket was brilliant. 'I think that worked out well' XD Argh, he's adorable.

Couple of potential typos I spotted.

a smooth, circular device about the side of a CD

Is this meant to say 'size of a CD'?

I grasped the edge of the desk

Not sure if you mean 'deck'? I might be wrong.

a view of the fifteen of so Rockets

'or' so?

I worry I'm being too nitpicky, but little typos like this are so easy to overlook when you're used to what you've written. Hoping this is helpful.


Chapter 8

That thing that stopped the storm... was that Lugia again?

Interesting development. Nice to see Rudy return, and surprised he was on the SS Anne!

A secret island off Lavender Town is pretty neat. Kanto seems quite small (given the limitations of the games, of course) so thinking of it bigger, with some other islands and/or towns (hey, the anime does it) is a pretty cool idea.

Noticed something:

...no one () their right mind would have missed it.

You're missing 'in'


Just wanna add I love your drawings! They're a lovely little addition =D
 

icomeanon6

It's "I Come Anon"
Sorry for the delay, I've been sitting on most of this review for a while now. This is to your credit: I meant to read chapters 8 through 17 and write a review while everything was still fresh in my head, but I forgot to stop reading and now I'm caught up.

Gonna do this chapter-by-chapter style, so here goes:

[spoil]Chapter 8:

You’ve said that you can’t stand this chapter, but honestly I really like the scene in the water. It’s nice and tense, especially when Jade loses all sense of direction under the waves. It’s also a good spot to keep Lugia in the background of the story.

Here’s one thing I noticed which will be good to remember when you eventually make that revision about Jade calling home:
“Course…I sort of got in trouble for being gone all day,” Rudy continued, looking down. “It’s kind of hard to be afraid of something like that after making it through the Rocket mess, though. And I did tell your dad that’d you’d gone on a Pokémon journey with Swift and that you already had a Charmander and a Pikachu.”

Chapter 9:

“So I guess that’s the last time I’ll underestimate a Pidgey. Good job! Though…” he laughed, “it kinda seemed like that was your first battle or something.”

I could feel my cheeks go red. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him that it was.

I really sympathize with Jade here. It’s tough to be older, taller, and at the same time less experienced than your peers.

“I’ll have to wait until the mission report to know for sure. But from the Rockets’ point of view, they either were able to take me and most of the rebels out, or send a strong message of ‘this is what happens if you try to oppose us.’ So either way they’ll view it as a win.” I noticed that he didn’t mention why the Rockets would have been so desperate to get at him, but I didn’t have the nerve to ask.

“Funny you should ask—it’s actually kind of a long story…”

I’m skimming parts of these earlier chapters to refresh my memory, and this is a line that stuck out to me now that I know what Stalker’s deal is. It comes awfully close to a being lie but seems to stay just enough on the side of being technically correct. The Kanto Rockets want him dead as the leader of the rebels, though they don’t know that it’s him they’re after.

Chapter 10:

The training exercise at the start of this chapter is well executed, and more importantly it’s well-placed. It’s a concise way to show the content of their training as opposed to summarizing it prior to the first mission, and having it be about escaping from Rockets unscathed makes total sense. Stalker knows that these kids are going to be completely out of their depth, even the ones that seem like experts. So I guess he gets some evil points for reckless endangerment and some good points for going to some lengths to try to keep them alive? (Stalker’s morality is a tricky question, of course, and I’ll have more to say about that come chapter 27.)

“Aw, you did? Lame,” he said, frowning. “Guess I’ll have to try harder next time. But anyways…what are the odds we’re getting our first mission now? I’m thinking at least 150 percent.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think it’s that high—more like only 110 percent.”

“You’re on!”

I stared. “How…how do we even tell who wins that bet?”

This is hilarious.

The reaction was immediate. The entire group let out a cheer, most of them throwing a fist or two into the air, and it wasn’t hard to see why. We’d finally be getting the chance to put everything we’d learned to use.

And in hindsight, this is heartbreaking. They really don't know where this is going to lead.

Chapter 11:

“Come on, faster! Your target’s getting away!”

I didn’t notice this at first, but the contrast between the opening of chapter 11 and the opening of chapter 10 is great. Stalker’s teaching them how to run away from Team Rocket, and Team Rocket’s teaching them how to hunt down anyone trying to run away from Team Rocket.

I blinked. “The semifinals of what?”

“…The Indigo League?” he said, staring at me like I was super dense.

I love how of all the things that could make Jade stick out in a bad way at the Rocket base, it’s that she’s been out of the loop and didn’t know the biggest tournament of the year was going on. XD Makes a lot of sense, when you think about it. Asking a bunch of questions when you’re new is normal, but being a Pokemon trainer who doesn’t follow competitive battling? That’s weird!

Chapter 12:

Now that is the way to kick off your chapter illustrations. Blood-soaked Raikou FTW.

It’s hard for me to explain why, but the opening scene where Jane and company are waiting in bed to leave one at a time is one of my favorites in the fic up to this point. There’s something about the image of having to stay still and silent in a dark, dangerous place that resonates. The way they’re using the communicators to execute their movements is both good tactics and actually increases the suspense of the scene. Well done.

“We’d…better join the others,” I said slowly, hating every word. Time for everyone to hear about our failure. Rudy refused to make eye contact. Darren shrugged and nodded.

The best thing about the Raikou fight (including how visceral and exciting the Combat Unit vs. Raikou aspect is) is how frustrating it is for Jade. It’s very realistic how she gets so caught up in failing to do stuff like take down a field generator with her own Pokemon that she doesn’t realize how good a job she’s doing. Even if she’s not the team MVP yet, it’s more important at this stage that she gets through the missions in one piece (not an easy task) and builds experience for the really important battles. Unfortunately, it takes more perspective than most teenagers have to take the attitude, “My presence didn’t prevent the mission from succeeding, so I’ve done my job as a newbie.”

Fearow pulled up from the ground just in time to shoot over the Rockets’ heads, and Ray threw in a dramatic wave for good measure before the two of them flew off.

This is a little over the top for my tastes, but the rest of the fight more than makes up for it. :p

Chapter 13:

I forgot that Rudy got a Larvitar. Even if it doesn’t end up being much of a force in the story by itself, it does the job in this chapter of showing how unhealthy and sad Rudy’s attitude towards his Wartortle is.

That new Pikachu’s a real gut-punch, ow. I saw a suggestion below to make Jade’s decision to save Chibi less abrupt, but for what it’s worth I think it’s fine as-is. If you change anything, rather than alter the pacing/sequencing of events I’d recommend putting additional emphasis on how urgent Jade sees Chibi’s situation. Making it clear that she sees it as an emergency and can’t afford to waste any time would be adequate, IMO. I think you’ve enough to establish by this point that Jade’s resolve to do things she sees as right (like joining a rebellion against Team Rocket) is strong enough that it outweighs her trepidation about her actual ability skill-wise to do those things.

Chapter 14:

“This has to be him,” I said, reaching forward and flipping the glass open before removing the ball. An angry beeping suddenly rang out from the nearest computer. I nearly jumped a foot in the air. What the hell? Why had—I froze, feeling my face go numb. Flashing violently on the screen were the words: “Unauthorized Experiment Removal. Admin Clearance Required.”

*sad trombone noise*

Not gonna lie, from the initial table-flip I recall being convinced that I was never going to get tired of seeing Flygon wreck sh*t, and that holds today.

“*It’s too late….there’s no hope now, I wasn’t strong enough. I should’ve fought harder, it’s all my fault.*” He buried his face in the fabric of my pants, continuously mumbling, “*It’s all over…*”

[…]

The experiment stared up at us with a look of crazed desperation. “*Ha, I wish. I can feel it, I’ve charged up some since I was taken off the machine. It’s not much, but it already hurts. It was kind of nice always being hooked up to that thing. No pain, for the first time in so long.*”

This is an important and revealing line from Chibi, and not just because it hints at how much it hurts him to have this power that’s too much for his small frame. The shame of failure, of being a tool of the Rockets, weighs heavier on him than the physical pain, so that makes it so sad that his short-lived relief seems to do little more than add to that shame for him.

Also, I didn’t remember this detail from when I first read it, but the detail with Chibi burying his face in Jade’s pants is really effective. A little physical action can go a long way in priming the readers to react emotionally to dialogue that follows.

The Rocket giggled slightly before standing up straight. “Alright, alright—your team leader’s an old friend from when I was a newbie on the force. He asked me to join his resistance, and I had to decline, but I agreed to help out where I could with the new rebel team.”

This line was key in misdirecting me ever-so-slightly on what Stalker’s actual deal was. It’s what made me think, “So, Stalker’s an ex-Rocket, probably a high-ranking one, and the reason he can get the rebels into their system is because he still has a lot of connections on the inside.” It was just enough to trick me into jumping to conclusions about Stalker, and was a big part of why it was such a surprise that he still commands the Johto combat unit.

Chapter 15:

“*I told him that I’m an experiment just like him. Hang on, I’ll ask him to include you.*”

He was going to what? How? Tension flooded my body in an instant. What was about to happen and how was I supposed to brace myself for it?

A sudden wave of resentment flooded my mind. But that didn’t matter. Nothing I’d been thinking about previously mattered, I just wanted to know what I was doing here. I wasn’t supposed to be here. Why was I here?

Yikes, you really ought to ask a person’s permission before getting their brain connected to Mewtwo! In all seriousness, I really dig intense psychic conversations, especially when it’s visceral and overwhelming for the less-psychically-adept participants. Like this:

I wasn’t expecting a response. Not to something I’d said out loud. But then a rush of conflicting emotions—hope, despair, rage, and helplessness—hit me all at once, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t mine.

Yes, I love it.

But then an eerie feeling washed over me. Why did I feel like I recognized her from somewhere?

It hit me like a hammer out of nowhere. She was the executive that cornered us at the plane crash. I hadn’t seen much of her that day, but that voice and overall demeanor was unmistakable.

Thanks to paragraph two this doesn’t feel like foreshadowing when you first read it, but going back it’s like this big, blaring siren.

Chapter 16:

So I’m not doing a grammar review but I want to point out this typo because “The Mants” is now my headcanon nickname for Razors:

“*What’s done is done,*” the mants said firmly.

I like this detail here:

“Her Raichu is infamous,” he went on, “but you don’t have to worry about the Mewtwo data. That script wasn’t just copying the data to the drive. It was sending it to an online storage. I actually read some of it last night.”

Real-life malware indeed often has a contingency plan baked in.

“Up until now, you’ve lived your entire lives for Team Rocket, haven’t you?” Stalker asked.

‘Please tell me they haven’t looked at the org chart lately,’ Stalker thought.

Flygon glanced around uncertainly, as though looking for some excuse to not have to say anything. Finally, he put on his best disinterested face and said, “*I…guess I wouldn’t mind still getting to fight.*”

Yes!!

I’m unsure about the mechanics of Firestorm’s Fire Punch. It’s good that you’re thinking outside the box when it comes to how Pokemon learn moves, and it’s nice that Jade’s slowly learning how to be a better teacher, but I find myself distracted over whether it makes sense or not. My initial impression is that breathing the fire onto the fist can’t be as efficient a use of the energy as shooting the fire directly at the opponent. Similarly, I’m inclined to picture it as substantially less powerful than a typical Fire Punch because generating the fire through the fist also seems more efficient than ‘grabbing’ an external source; the latter I feel would lose too much energy in the transfer. I realize this is nitpicky, but it stuck out to me when I first read it. Not a huge deal.

Chapter 17

Except Rudy still had yet to send out Wartortle.

He shuffled a bit with a look of hesitation. “I still don’t see why I can’t use Ebony.”

Urrrgh, the fact that I know what’s coming makes this twice as uncomfortable. :(

Swift paused to consider the question. “*I’d been curious about humans for a while,*” he said finally. “*Humans make so many interesting things. Humans do so many interesting things. I felt ready to join that world.*”

This contrasts nicely with Jade’s earlier conversation with Firestorm about him being impatient regarding evolution. At a glance it can seem like the difference between Swift and Firestorm just boils down to maturity, but looking at this again it goes deeper than that. Firestorm views the world strictly through the lens of a typical young Pokemon: he wants to be stronger, that’s why he has a trainer, and he can’t get strong fast enough. Swift on the other hand is decidedly un-Pokemon-like in his worldview and aspirations. It’s a little sad, too, because it’s hard to picture him making interesting things with him being a Pidgeotto. I have to wonder if he’ll surprise me.

This shrine stands here to honor those among the Order of the Legends who have fought to protect the balance of the world as an extension of the original purpose bestowed upon them. Yet even as the fires of the Revolution subside, the balance that they fought so hard to preserve is already on the inevitable path to being torn apart once again. Seven among them—the ones who dedicated both mind, body, and spirit toward ending the war—shall be empowered to forge an alliance with humankind so that both might endure. The seven are bound by their duty to seek out the interlopers to determine the balance of power in the coming age. For though none may prevail, what is set into motion shall be much greater indeed.

I hate to say it, but I thought this was too wordy. It reads more like third-person narration than a prophecy carved into a monument. The first sentence feels like it belongs, but it’s weird to see the primary inscription on a shrine followed by a ‘yet’ and a lengthy qualifier. Maybe you want the dedication and the prophecy in separate places?

Exasperation prodded at the back of my mind. Who really cared if I took the orb? It had been sitting down there for who knows how long, and if I wasn’t supposed to have it, then the chamber shouldn’t have opened in the first place.

This is a great example of one word making all the difference. Someone with more confidence than Jade would have used ‘wouldn’t’ there. Where ‘wouldn’t’ would be her solidifying her own belief that she is indeed supposed to have the orb, Jade instead can’t bring herself to believe it and is already working on an excuse.

I couldn’t tell it about the orb. Wait, what? Why not?

Because it’s her Precious. I really like the extra layer of fear the orb adds to Jade meeting a Legendary face to face.

Alright! Since you're not the only person to wonder about this, I'm going to post the official old-to-new version comparison!

I’m sorry, but I’m laughing out loud at the tonal juxtaposition between the titles “Chapter 1: Death on the Mountainside” and “Chapter 2: Pikachu, We Have a Problem.” You’ve clearly come a long way. xD

Chapter 18:

The Legendaries in the illustration are all wonderfully rendered, but I got the wrong idea from it because the lines of sight from Articuno and Zapdos made it look to me like it was everyone vs. Moltres.

Teleport shenanigans are some of the best shenanigans, and I really like how you’ve not only put rules and limits on it, but also find exciting ways for the heroes to deal with those limits, see where they have to get out of the truck without being seen but they need line of sight to do that. The whole bit with Jade and Darren accidentally ending up in a truck on the way to the mission is a good way to differentiate from the last Legendary capture mission. I thought the similarity between the two missions was a weaker aspect of the chapter, but the truck thing helps.

More on that, despite all the Legendaries present and the “oh sh*t it’s Mewtwo” aspect, the Raikou mission stuck out more in my memory than this one. I think the nighttime and how visceral the fight was in the first mission might have made the difference for me. And I know it’s not fair to bring the illustrations into the comparison, but if you look at the two side by side the Raikou chapter looks like it’d be the more tense and significant one, and that’s how it felt to me while reading. This isn’t to say there’s anything wrong or deficient with this chapter; just that I think it's odd that an earlier and less important chapter with a similar scenario had more of an impact on me.

“Told you,” Darren said matter-of-factly.

I raised an eyebrow. “No, actually, I don’t think you ever did.”

He paused, furrowing his brow. “Hm. Well I was thinking it.”

“That doesn’t count!” I scoffed, shoving him lightly.

Lol, that’s great.

What does work really well in this battle I find is how much it takes to buy the bird trio such a tiny chance. You’ve got the experiments sans Razors, Rudy’s stacked lineup starting to reach its potential, Firestorm going all out with a move he still can’t really control, and it’s all they can do to buy Moltres a moment to call for help. That’s really makes Mew’s arrival work as a payoff.

(Also, I just realized now as I’m skimming through the fic again that I forgot this battle leads all the way up to Chapter 20. For some reason the bird trio mission and the setup for Jade getting captured got separated in my head. The above paragraphs on how I thought this chapter compares to Chapter 12 still reflects how I felt when I first read it, though.)

Chapter 19:

“Ha! We made it out! Take that!” Rudy called out behind us as Aros and Fearow shot into the air. My breathing was shallow and it felt like my heart was going at a million miles an hour, but we’d made it.

I remember thinking, “There’s no way Rudy’s attitude toward all this is going to end well.” This just isn’t a fic where the plot rewards characters for having a cavalier approach to enemy bullets.

“How dare you use my sibling for your sick goals!!” Suicune snarled, smashing the windshield and unleashing a torrential waterspout into the vehicle. The doors flew open and a flood of water gushed out, followed by the panicked Rockets scrambling to abandon the vehicle.

You’ve got to wonder why water and electric aren’t mutually super-effective.

“Ray gave the order to retreat—there’s not much else any of us can do here!” Rudy yelled, grimacing like he hated every word.

“Are you kidding?! Of course we can do something! We can stop the ALRs!” I countered. The two of them paused, looking taken aback.

Nooooooo Jade you have to obey orders to retreat or it’ll end really, really badly most of the time. It kills me to think that Chapter 20 wouldn’t have happened if she’d listened.

The answer snapped into my mind, clear as day. It was controlling Mewtwo. That had to be it. Razors had mentioned that a device had been controlling him. Mewtwo and Entei had been unloaded from the van before the mission. Entei had been recalled into it. This was it! This was the Legendary control tech. I clenched my fists, feeling a spark of confidence rising within me. I actually had way more leverage in this than I thought, didn’t I?

I like how you keep the full situation hidden from Jade until she gets an unintended clue from Astrid, who does know what the situation is. It’s a key part of how the tension mounts and mounts until Chibi finally shows up.

I just had to hold on. We were going to make it, I just had to hold on! They couldn’t hit us; we were moving too fast. I just had to keep telling myself that. We were moving too—

A sudden, sharp pain tore through my arm and I was falling?! My surroundings spiraled past me in a dizzying whirlwind, and the only thing I could make out was the ground rushing toward me and my voice as I screamed, and I screwed my eyes shut right before I struck the ground and kept going, tumbling over and over before finally skidding to a stop in a crumpled heap, every inch of my body racked with pain.

Okay, so the end of 19 basically undoes a lot of what I said about 18. Jade getting shot and her uncertain fate as the chapter closes is the high water mark of the fic so far. It’s a real stomach-jumps-into-your-throat moment, and the last paragraph is the perfect place to cut everything off.

The last thing I saw was Astrid staring down at me, her face devoid of any emotion. Then everything went dark.

In hindsight, that’s just the right expression for Astrid to have here. Between fury at Chibi shocking her (and at Jade’s presence and efforts in general), and the shock of seeing an old friend shot, it’s like her emotional circuits are just blown out.

Chapter 20:

Hoo boy. That was rough. Rough enough that I don’t want to get into a lot of the details.

This is the part that stuck with me the most:

[…] The hushed voices whispering and wondering. Everyone knew I’d been captured. Everyone could look at me and see that I was the first one to screw up so badly. It didn’t matter that I’d been on the scouting team that infiltrated the mission. Or that I’d taken down an ALR and destroyed the tech controlling Mewtwo.

I could feel the fires of humiliation burning every inch of exposed skin. The sounds of the whispers and the murmurs and even the genuine questions directed at me that my brain didn’t feel like parsing because it had all blended together into a flurry of needles assaulting my ears. I couldn’t take it. I wanted to be as far from here as possible. Preferably in my room, alone, where no one could see me and I could forget everything.

God, as a reader you just feel so awful for her. She already had a problem with seeing how well she’s done as a member of a band of novices, but to see that extend to feeling shame for being captured as a result of going beyond the call of duty and resisting torture is just so devastatingly sad.

It’s realistic, it fits the character, it’s heartbreaking, and it’s almost a little too much for me. Ugh, well done.

Chapter 21:

The scene where Jade facilitates a sparring match between Firestorm and Razors for me embodies why she really is the hero of the story so far, beyond her simply being the POV character. Even when she’s at her lowest point, is convinced beyond all doubt that she’s a failure, and is convinced that she’s utterly unprepared for the task before her, she just does it. Both Pokemon needed her, especially her starter, and she shouldered their troubles on top of her own. She would have been justified in staying in bed, nobody could blame her for that, but she soldiers on, just as she did when she answered the call to fight Team Rocket in the first place.

And just as importantly, this scene paints a stark contrast with Rudy, who has all the bluster of a hero but doesn’t live the self-sacrifice in the way Jade does. Where Rudy can’t seem to give his Wartortle half the attention he deserves on a good day, Jade finds room for Firestorm on her worst day. I think it’s important that you’ve shown up to this point that Firestorm’s incessant nagging about training gets on Jade’s nerves, because it makes this scene more powerful.

“Holy crap Jade, you’re out here?!” a voice called out all of a sudden, followed by hurried footsteps behind me. I turned around to see Rudy sprinting over.

Well, Rudy’s obliviousness to the pain and danger that surrounds him won’t last much longer, in any case. Or maybe he’s trying to do what Chibi was doing, get Jade’s mind off of it. Knowing his personality and habits, it’s difficult to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Chapter 22:

Chapter art here is my favorite of the bunch. Very dramatic, and good lines of direction in both the foreground and background.

And wow, zero to sixty in two seconds with this chapter. If there’s a deeper reason why this chapter had to come out of the blue at this point in the story, I missed it, but sometimes you have to throw the readers a curveball.

I forced several deep breaths to steady myself. Had to focus. Couldn’t lose myself now. I’d done this before. I’d been in the line of fire before. I could handle this. This wasn’t like being trapped in the detention cell. I had options. I had Pokémon. I couldn’t lose myself.

It’s to your credit that Jade’s progression in terms of experience is solid and defined enough that I totally buy this paragraph.

“Heck yeah, I’m not going down that easily,” he said, forcing a grin.

Guuuuuhh, this is so painful now that I know what’s coming.

“*I’m sorry.*”

I’m really not sure how I feel about Razors’s self-sacrifice. On the one hand, it makes complete sense given his mindset and the scenario he’s been forced into. On the other, I’m not convinced that the story needed the scenario to arise. I can follow all of your steps in your notes, except for the conclusion that he has to die in some fashion or other. Maybe this is because I’m a softie, but I wonder if he couldn't have left to live by himself somewhere because he couldn’t handle the fighting anymore, just leaving the story for good and devastating Chibi in the process (less so than with what he did here, obviously, which would be the downside story-wise). I dunno, that may be nothing more than my distaste for characters committing suicide in fiction, noble or otherwise.

Mind you, the scene works in the moment, and really well. And my opinion on whether it was the right fate for Razors may change completely depending on the direction Chibi’s arc goes from here.

And now… the character whom I agree probably did have to die:

I sat down on the far end of the couch, staring at the floor in shock. And yet… an insidious voice in the back of my head kept telling me this wasn’t shocking at all.

Oh god, it’s so true. Rudy’s arc and his relationship with Wartortle has been building up to this for so long.

I didn’t think anything of it, so I never said anything, and now Wartortle was dead.

Of course, Jade had said a few things, but never directly enough. And because Jade is Jade, it’s so fitting that this is going to hang heavy on her. Even if she knows intellectually that the responsibility can’t truly lie with anyone but Rudy, that thought will always be there. This hit home pretty hard.

Chapter 23:

The Flygon folded his arms. “*How else are we supposed to beat the crap out of Team Rocket without a trainer, huh?*”

Godspeed, Aros. Never stop kicking the *** of every bad guy and/or table in sight, especially when all seems hopeless.

“Part of me’s grateful that my team and I got out of it as well as we did. I know that sounds terrible, but… I can’t help thinking it, y’know?” He paused, frowning. “Hang on, you didn’t lose any Pokémon, right?”

My Pokémon… Razors wasn’t my Pokémon.

“No,” I said, my voice hollow.

noooooo jade don’t invalidate your pain on a technicality

“Oh god, it really is you, Starr.”

Oh sh*t, a twist that is also a pun, A+

Regrettably, the first thing that came into my head at this part was, “Wait, who?” >__> I had to think for a moment, and then I realized that at some point between the prologue and this chapter my brain folded Ajia and Starr into the same character, with Ajia being the one who said goodbye and them getting reunited during the airplane incident, and I forgot Starr’s name. If there were other mentions of Starr between the prologue and now, I’m afraid I’ve forgotten them.

As you might expect, the very first thing I did after finishing this chapter was go back to the prologue. Aaaand…

“I don’t know… it’s all my mom’s idea, and she didn’t tell me anything. But my dad’s staying here in Viridian.”

Me: “Oh, duh, her dad’s Giovanni.” I don’t recall guessing or suspecting that when I first read the prologue, but if you read it immediately after Astrid’s first reveal it juts right out. For that reason, I’d err on the side of caution and scratch the recommendation that readers take another look at the prologue.

The good news though! I really do think this is a great twist in that it recontextualizes all of their prior interactions seamlessly and in a satisfactory way. A big part of why this works is that everything Astrid did always made sense in the moment—I can believe that a teenager would be out of her depth as a torturer, for example—which allows the secret to hide in plain sight without sacrificing the weight of that recontextualization.

Chapter 23 Extra:

Oh my god, Raichu comes out of nowhere and takes his place as your best Pokemon character. Or at least the one with the most clever characterization on your part.

That rebel was so scared! He was good at acting scary, right?

I mean, damn, that is stone-cold and brilliant. He’s a small child whose perspective of the world has been warped by his environment and training, but because Starr has a heart she shields his emotions from the consequences of his actions and preserves his childishness.

Seriously, holy sh*t.

Chapter 24:

I think this new dynamic introduced to the fic around this chapter is interesting. Starr and Ajia are pulled directly into the foreground, and they’ve had this big story of their own going on the whole time after they left home. And now after 23 chapters of playing catch-up and becoming experienced and involved in the conflict in her own right, Jade’s joined that story.

You run into a little risk of a highly-capable character like Ajia picking up the plot and running with it, leaving little for Jade to do, but for now it’s enough to have Jade’s reactions to this upheaval of her world. I don’t doubt she’ll be moving things of her own volition again soon.

Chapter 25:

It took me several seconds to figure out what had happened. Espeon had teleported into the Aura Sphere’s path. She had taken the attack to protect Umbreon. But most importantly—she was still standing? I mean, sure the psychic fox had a natural resistance to fighting-type energy, but damn.

This is a great example of something making just enough sense pre-twist, in a way that gets the reader wondering about what’s amiss, and which makes perfect sense post-twist.

“I’m the boss’s daughter,” Starr answered before Ajia got a chance to say anything.

Oh. Oh. That did explain a lot, didn’t it?

I’m on the fence about whether this is a nitpick, but I don’t think this was the best spot for this reveal. I feel like the emotional stakes were already high enough in this battle to compel the reader without that knowledge, and the focus moves back to the fight itself too quickly for the reveal to sink in (and the focus has to move back because it’s a fast, intense fight). My guess would be that this reveal would have more room to be impactful after they escape, when Starr breaks down and gets more vulnerable. Now, it could very well be that it would have come across as flat to me wherever it was revealed because I had a very strong guess about this after I re-read the prologue.

On the whole though, this chapter does a good job of concluding the first part of Starr’s story with Jade, and moving onto the next. “Bittersweet” is an overused word in discussion of fiction, but it’s really the best word to describe their painful reconciliation at the end. It just puts a warm feeling in my heart how Jade finds it in her to forgive her, or at least start to forgive her.

Chapter 26:

“*So you’re not the enemy anymore!*” the mouse said cheerfully. Oh god why.

[…]

And then Raichu jumped into my lap and every muscle in my body tensed up instantly and every thought dissolved into a torrent of oh god, oh god, get him off, get him off.

“*I think it will be fun being on the same side,*” the rodent said, cocking his head to the side. “*Even if I don’t get to act scary anymore.*” God, why’d he have to talk like that, all bubbly and friendly like he wasn’t Starr’s torture Pokémon of choice. Didn’t he remember what she’d had him do to me?

I love this part. You have no idea. “Don’t get to act scary anymore,” yikes. That’s excellent.

While the southern Pokansen line wasn’t near as fast as the northern line that ran directly from Saffron to Goldenrod in an hour, it had the perk of making additional stops, one of which was near Viridian.

For reasons that have nothing to do with actual literary analysis, “Pokansen” makes me very happy. Research overkill forever.

“*Don’t you dare try to say what he’d want,*” the hybrid snapped, suddenly livid. He jabbed his tail at me and said, “*I joined you because I knew it would give me the opportunity to fight them. That’s the only reason. And if that changes, then I have no reason to stay with you. I don’t need you. Don’t try to stop me.*”

It never seemed to be in doubt, but I’m glad you’re giving Chibi plenty of narrative time to reel from Razors’s death. This fatalism Chibi assigns to his existence is especially uncomfortable because we’ve seen him kill an enemy who was in full retreat; the kind of fight he’s talking about is one that leaves a soul in tatters. I can only see Chibi’s story coming to tears, but whose tears and whether they're the good or bad kind, I can’t guess.

(Oh wait, I just looked back, and it's ambiguous whether Chibi kills Tyson. I assumed he had for some reason, probably "stabbed the Rocket over and over" and I pictured stabbing in the chest. Is Tyson alive?)

Starr forced herself to regain control of her breathing, wiping her eyes as she shook her head in disbelief. “Jade, do you have any idea who the hell you’re standing next to? That’s Sebastian Shepard, the ****ing commander of the Johto combat unit.”

Now here’s a twist that works perfectly. I mentioned this earlier, but I was nearly certain at this point that Stalker was a former commander in Team Rocket. You keep the reader nodding for almost the whole story, convinced that they’ve picked up on all the hints correctly, and then what might seem like a small change to the actual twist is actually massive. Just one little detail that completely changes the color of everything that preceded it, even if all the events themselves were almost exactly what they appeared to be. And it really is everything that preceded it; the fact that he’s still active makes so much sense looking all the way back to the Johto Rockets stepping on the Kanto Rockets’ toes with Entei. Great twist, well done.

Chapter 27

I’m undecided on how I feel about this chapter. First the good: Ajia’s story is interesting, and I really like the whole Zoroark/Mew gambit. It did seem a little too easy for Ajia to go wherever she wanted in a Rocket base—which worked in the moment because it surprised Jade as well and it helped show just how far ahead of her Ajia is—and the explanation really makes everything about Espeon and Umbreon click.

Also, I like how even though most of Stalker’s tricks are all in plain view, it’s still so hard to pin down how to judge his actions. He’s manipulative, he’s got ulterior motives in spades, but he seems sincere enough in trying to stop the Kanto Rockets from doing something horrible/catastrophic, and he did go out of his way to teach his unwitting pawns how to survive the rebellion. My personal take is that his good points don’t outweigh the whole child-endangerment thing, but I had to think hard about it, and I’m sure what happens from here on out will change my opinion one way or another.

As for the less-good, this is a lot of background that’s delivered in a long conversation. I understand that flashbacks take up a lot of room and run the risk of slowing down the story even more, but when the conversation takes up 100% of a chapter the exposition starts to wear down on the reader. That said, you do mitigate this effect in some important ways. Jade’s actively trying to get the truth out of three narrators of highly questionable reliability who have a lot of hostility between them. That’s an interesting dynamic, and it does more than a little to act as the “action” of the chapter. On the whole I still think it’s too much backstory to convey in one long dialogue, but this is what kept me on board with the chapter.[/spoil]

A few words on the story as a whole so far: IIRC you’ve said that Pokemon Special was a big influence on this story, and I can see it (in a good way), especially in how unabashedly epic-Legendary-fight-centric it is. The key difference is Jade, who is so much more out of her depth than the PokeSpe Pokedex-holders ever were. She’s a girl of ordinary abilities but extraordinary resolve trying to keep up in a story populated with characters who wouldn’t feel out of place in PokeSpe like Ajia and Stalker. But at the same time, she doesn’t feel out of place at all; she pulls the PokeSpe style down to earth just the right amount.

So I’d describe this fic this way: Pokemon Special, but more cynical, aimed at readers a few years older, and making much more sense. It’s a tremendously exciting page-turner, and when it needs to it can tug at the heartstrings as well.

Definitely glad I got caught up before the advertised climax of Book 1. I am indeed hype for it. Great work so far.
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
So first of all, I’d just like to thank both of you for the lovely reviews. ^^ November wasn’t such a great month for me, but your reviews made me smile quite a bit.

@DeliriousAbsol:

I've finally got around to reading this, and I have to say I'm already blown away. The opening description of what I can assume is a Lugia leaping out of the water is very vivid. My attention span is atrocious at the best of times and I was re-reading some parts simply because I didn't want to miss anything. That's a sure indication you've got me hooked!
Aaa, I’m really glad to hear that! ^^ I often wonder about what kind of impression the beginning makes on new readers (since I’ve obviously improved quite a bit since those chapters were written.)

The two sides to Team Rocket kind of reminds me of Team Plasma. That's super interesting, I was under the impression this story would be written from the point of view of a Team Rocket criminal. I'm not sure where things are going by the end of the chapter. Is the charmander going to survive? Will Jade be unwillingly dragged into Team Rocket? You've left me hanging! XD
Ahaha, excellent. >:D But yeah, it’s funny how my split within TR ended up paralleling Team Plasma. I just love schisms in organization (both reading them and writing them!)

I can't work out what the scyther is hybridised with, but I'm keen to find out. Whatever it is, it seems pretty deadly now, though D=
It technically never gets mentioned, although Jade does eventually guess that he was mixed with a rock-type. (It was Kabutops.)

It's nice this chapter ended on a more positive note. It gives the end of that battle a nice final feel. But I can't help but wonder if we're gonna see these same Rocket guys again.
Most definitely! ;)

Ajia has my interest piqued. I initially thought she might be related to Giovanni. Now I'm wondering if she's working with the Charizard Guy. I'm not ruling out the possibility of both, either.
:) It’ll be quite a few chapters before Ajia comes back into the story.

I worry I'm being too nitpicky, but little typos like this are so easy to overlook when you're used to what you've written. Hoping this is helpful.
No worries, it’s super helpful! Missing words in particular are hard for me to catch cause I’ve read the fic so many times, my brain automatically fills them in.

A secret island off Lavender Town is pretty neat. Kanto seems quite small (given the limitations of the games, of course) so thinking of it bigger, with some other islands and/or towns (hey, the anime does it) is a pretty cool idea.
I’ve always been fond of expanding on Kanto, since it’s the first and simplest region, and also because an area that size would definitely have plenty of towns and points of interest that weren’t in the games.

@icomeanon6:

So I’m just going to start this off by saying I lost count of how many times in your review you keyed in on something that made me go “Yes, exactly!”

Here’s one thing I noticed which will be good to remember when you eventually make that revision about Jade calling home:
Mm, good point! Gonna make a note of that so I don’t forget to change it.

The training exercise at the start of this chapter is well executed, and more importantly it’s well-placed. It’s a concise way to show the content of their training as opposed to summarizing it prior to the first mission, and having it be about escaping from Rockets unscathed makes total sense. Stalker knows that these kids are going to be completely out of their depth, even the ones that seem like experts. So I guess he gets some evil points for reckless endangerment and some good points for going to some lengths to try to keep them alive?
I’m really glad. That scene gave me so much trouble and I considered cutting it so many times, but I glad I didn’t, because I feel like seeing their training firsthand has a much bigger impact.

I love how of all the things that could make Jade stick out in a bad way at the Rocket base, it’s that she’s been out of the loop and didn’t know the biggest tournament of the year was going on. XD Makes a lot of sense, when you think about it. Asking a bunch of questions when you’re new is normal, but being a Pokemon trainer who doesn’t follow competitive battling? That’s weird!
That part was a random spur-of-the-moment addition, but I’m really glad I added it! I don’t want to let myself forget that competitive battling is THE sport in that world, and it needs to be a big deal.

This line was key in misdirecting me ever-so-slightly on what Stalker’s actual deal was. It’s what made me think, “So, Stalker’s an ex-Rocket, probably a high-ranking one, and the reason he can get the rebels into their system is because he still has a lot of connections on the inside.” It was just enough to trick me into jumping to conclusions about Stalker, and was a big part of why it was such a surprise that he still commands the Johto combat unit.
Aha, I forgot about that line. That’s great. xD

In all seriousness, I really dig intense psychic conversations, especially when it’s visceral and overwhelming for the less-psychically-adept participants.
:D You’re gonna like Book 2.

So I’m not doing a grammar review but I want to point out this typo because “The Mants” is now my headcanon nickname for Razors:
Lmao. xD Headcanon accepted.

I’m unsure about the mechanics of Firestorm’s Fire Punch. It’s good that you’re thinking outside the box when it comes to how Pokemon learn moves, and it’s nice that Jade’s slowly learning how to be a better teacher, but I find myself distracted over whether it makes sense or not. My initial impression is that breathing the fire onto the fist can’t be as efficient a use of the energy as shooting the fire directly at the opponent. Similarly, I’m inclined to picture it as substantially less powerful than a typical Fire Punch because generating the fire through the fist also seems more efficient than ‘grabbing’ an external source; the latter I feel would lose too much energy in the transfer. I realize this is nitpicky, but it stuck out to me when I first read it. Not a huge deal.
Oh, it’s definitely not as strong as a ‘proper’ Fire Punch, and I’d say a fair amount of energy gets lost. He’ll figure out how to do it for real soon enough though.

I’m sorry, but I’m laughing out loud at the tonal juxtaposition between the titles “Chapter 1: Death on the Mountainside” and “Chapter 2: Pikachu, We Have a Problem.” You’ve clearly come a long way. xD
im dying Squirtle. xD God, a lot of the old chapter titles were inane.

Teleport shenanigans are some of the best shenanigans, and I really like how you’ve not only put rules and limits on it, but also find exciting ways for the heroes to deal with those limits, see where they have to get out of the truck without being seen but they need line of sight to do that.
Ah, I’m glad! Teleport is such an insanely broken ability, so setting hard limits and sticking to them was imperative. (That way it would stand out better when “Espeon” does such insane feats as teleporting across the entire region in one go, which is just absurd.)

What does work really well in this battle I find is how much it takes to buy the bird trio such a tiny chance. You’ve got the experiments sans Razors, Rudy’s stacked lineup starting to reach its potential, Firestorm going all out with a move he still can’t really control, and it’s all they can do to buy Moltres a moment to call for help. That’s really makes Mew’s arrival work as a payoff.
Yes, exactly! I really wanted to make it feel like their actions had value, while still being so small as to require everyone pulling together just to give the birds that tiny glimmer of hope. And it also let me have a tonal shift between chapters 18 and 19, where 18 is more desperate but 19 is more frantic.

Hoo boy. That was rough. Rough enough that I don’t want to get into a lot of the details.
This is quite possibly the best reaction to that chapter that I could hope for.

The scene where Jade facilitates a sparring match between Firestorm and Razors for me embodies why she really is the hero of the story so far, beyond her simply being the POV character. Even when she’s at her lowest point, is convinced beyond all doubt that she’s a failure, and is convinced that she’s utterly unprepared for the task before her, she just does it. Both Pokemon needed her, especially her starter, and she shouldered their troubles on top of her own. She would have been justified in staying in bed, nobody could blame her for that, but she soldiers on, just as she did when she answered the call to fight Team Rocket in the first place.
aaaaaaaa, I really like this.

I think it’s important that you’ve shown up to this point that Firestorm’s incessant nagging about training gets on Jade’s nerves, because it makes this scene more powerful.
I’m really glad you’re keying in on everything Firestorm-related.

And wow, zero to sixty in two seconds with this chapter. If there’s a deeper reason why this chapter had to come out of the blue at this point in the story, I missed it, but sometimes you have to throw the readers a curveball.
Not… really. ^^; It was just kind of… there… in the old version, and I had to make do.

Maybe this is because I’m a softie, but I wonder if he couldn't have left to live by himself somewhere because he couldn’t handle the fighting anymore, just leaving the story for good and devastating Chibi in the process (less so than with what he did here, obviously, which would be the downside story-wise).
Yeah… it’s one of those things where it would have been nice to find some other way to put him on a bus (because he definitely needed to get put on a bus one way or another), but no other way seemed to really fit. :S

Regrettably, the first thing that came into my head at this part was, “Wait, who?” >__> I had to think for a moment, and then I realized that at some point between the prologue and this chapter my brain folded Ajia and Starr into the same character, with Ajia being the one who said goodbye and them getting reunited during the airplane incident, and I forgot Starr’s name. If there were other mentions of Starr between the prologue and now, I’m afraid I’ve forgotten them.
Yeaahhh, general consensus is that I need to mention them both more often, to keep them separate and to make this come less out of nowhere.

The good news though! I really do think this is a great twist in that it recontextualizes all of their prior interactions seamlessly and in a satisfactory way. A big part of why this works is that everything Astrid did always made sense in the moment—I can believe that a teenager would be out of her depth as a torturer, for example—which allows the secret to hide in plain sight without sacrificing the weight of that recontextualization.
Okay good! Since all those scenes were obviously written with the intent of making sense through both the Astrid viewpoint and the Starr viewpoint, I’m glad they take on that extra meaning when revisited.

Oh my god, Raichu comes out of nowhere and takes his place as your best Pokemon character. Or at least the one with the most clever characterization on your part.
Ahaha, I love Raichu so much. xD I’m thrilled that people both liked and were taken aback by his naivety. (Thanks for nominating him by the way!)

You run into a little risk of a highly-capable character like Ajia picking up the plot and running with it
The danger of Ajia hijacking the plot is actually the main reason why I kept her out of it until now! She has a tendency to do that, and I needed to let Jade go through a lot of personal growth without her.

I’m on the fence about whether this is a nitpick, but I don’t think this was the best spot for this reveal. I feel like the emotional stakes were already high enough in this battle to compel the reader without that knowledge, and the focus moves back to the fight itself too quickly for the reveal to sink in (and the focus has to move back because it’s a fast, intense fight). My guess would be that this reveal would have more room to be impactful after they escape, when Starr breaks down and gets more vulnerable. Now, it could very well be that it would have come across as flat to me wherever it was revealed because I had a very strong guess about this after I re-read the prologue.
Hm, that’s a fair assessment. I had to rewrite that scene a bunch, shuffling the order of things each time, so I can see how it might not be quite right.

For reasons that have nothing to do with actual literary analysis, “Pokansen” makes me very happy. Research overkill forever.
Woo hoo! *high fives* 8D Not gonna lie, this chapter came out 8000 times better as a result of all our research overkill conversations.

(Oh wait, I just looked back, and it's ambiguous whether Chibi kills Tyson. I assumed he had for some reason, probably "stabbed the Rocket over and over" and I pictured stabbing in the chest. Is Tyson alive?)
Nah, Tyson’s dead.

Now here’s a twist that works perfectly. I mentioned this earlier, but I was nearly certain at this point that Stalker was a former commander in Team Rocket. You keep the reader nodding for almost the whole story, convinced that they’ve picked up on all the hints correctly, and then what might seem like a small change to the actual twist is actually massive. Just one little detail that completely changes the color of everything that preceded it, even if all the events themselves were almost exactly what they appeared to be. And it really is everything that preceded it; the fact that he’s still active makes so much sense looking all the way back to the Johto Rockets stepping on the Kanto Rockets’ toes with Entei. Great twist, well done.
Yessssssss. It was 100% my goal to get people anticipating that exact theory.

Also, I like how even though most of Stalker’s tricks are all in plain view, it’s still so hard to pin down how to judge his actions. He’s manipulative, he’s got ulterior motives in spades, but he seems sincere enough in trying to stop the Kanto Rockets from doing something horrible/catastrophic, and he did go out of his way to teach his unwitting pawns how to survive the rebellion. My personal take is that his good points don’t outweigh the whole child-endangerment thing, but I had to think hard about it, and I’m sure what happens from here on out will change my opinion one way or another.
Balancing Stalker’s motives and tricks has been quite the ordeal over the years, to the point that once upon a time, my notes for him read “Stalker = fghfghfgfhfgf????”. He definitely does believe that what’s he’s doing is important enough to justify using everyone though. And there is a reason why he can’t just be honest and try to make allies rather than pawns. But at the same time, I didn’t want to shy away from addressing the fact that… no really, he’s using people and putting them in danger for his own ends.

A few words on the story as a whole so far: IIRC you’ve said that Pokemon Special was a big influence on this story, and I can see it (in a good way), especially in how unabashedly epic-Legendary-fight-centric it is. The key difference is Jade, who is so much more out of her depth than the PokeSpe Pokedex-holders ever were. She’s a girl of ordinary abilities but extraordinary resolve trying to keep up in a story populated with characters who wouldn’t feel out of place in PokeSpe like Ajia and Stalker. But at the same time, she doesn’t feel out of place at all; she pulls the PokeSpe style down to earth just the right amount.

So I’d describe this fic this way: Pokemon Special, but more cynical, aimed at readers a few years older, and making much more sense. It’s a tremendously exciting page-turner, and when it needs to it can tug at the heartstrings as well.
This is probably the best description I could ever ask for.

Next chapter coming soon. Very soon.

~Chibi~;249;;448;
 
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Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Review responses are in the previous post! I’m really sorry this chapter took so long, but I’m also extremely happy with how it turned out. I feel confident in saying that this is the best chapter in Book 1. So without further ado…

This chapter contains an elevated level of graphic violence compared to the average chapter.



~CHAPTER 28: LEGENDARY REVENGE~

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We’d been warned. I already had some idea of what awaited us when we appeared on the edge of Viridian, looking down on the city from atop the hills to the east. But that didn’t compare to seeing it in real life. Nothing could have prepared me for the sight of my hometown crumbling under a hail of wind and fire and explosive power.

A giant pair of silver wings beat against the night sky, lit by the full moon above and the city lights below. Their owner—a sleek, long-necked dragon-bird—fired a blindingly orange beam from its beak, lancing through several blocks of northeast Viridian. Cries of fury echoed through the air like a haunting melody, sending chills down my spine. And the bird wasn’t alone—the unmistakable silhouette of a humanoid feline circled the skies alongside it, firing concussive pulses of psychic energy nonstop, flattening entire city blocks at once. Below them, vicious winds tore through the streets, flipping cars and shattering glass storefronts. Suicune, if the flashes of blue and the unearthly howls in the air were anything to go off. And then, just when I thought I’d seen all of them, a burst of flames illuminated the night sky. A brilliant golden phoenix soared into view, its wings shimmering with the colors of the rainbow.

Seeing Mewtwo here was one thing. Hell, even Suicune wasn’t too surprising—not after the fury it had displayed toward the Rockets last time. But the other two—the pair of gold and silver birds. Ho-oh and Lugia. The guardians of the skies and the seas. And here they were raining destruction upon my hometown. The only consolation was that the damage was limited to the northeast side—far from my old home—but for how long? The Viridian Gym had already been reduced to a smoldering crater. No doubt about it—the Legendaries knew the Rocket HQ was under there. And they didn’t care how much of the city they’d have to destroy to get at it. How many people had already been killed? How many more would die before the night was over?

I turned away, swallowing a lump in my throat. It was too much. I’d seen the power of the legends firsthand. But this was different. Before I could at least pretend it was alright because the Rockets had brought it on themselves. Not anymore.

Mew hovered a few feet in front of us, gazing at the enraged Legendaries in the distance. <Of all the stupid, risky actions… I don’t blame Mewtwo, but Lugia should know better. At this rate they’ll be captured, and for what? Senseless destruction.> The rose cat shook her head sadly.

“Why is this happening?” I asked weakly. “Why now? What triggered this?”

Mew sighed. <Not all the Legendaries agree on how to handle the human threat. Mewtwo’s escape hurt the Rockets. Some of our number wish to use that opportunity to land the finishing blow. But it’s not that simple.>

“We can’t just murder a bunch of random Rockets and expect that to fix things,” Ajia cut in, speaking to no one in particular. “I don’t care what they’ve done—it’s not worth it. It wouldn’t even put an end to Team Rocket.”

<And what of the innocent humans and Pokémon that will die in the crossfire? Ho-oh and I have been doing all that we can to stop them, but it’s not enough.>

I blinked. Ho-oh was on our side? I had just assumed, when I saw it there… My eyes snapped back to the ongoing battle, where the blazing phoenix spiraled low over the city, tailing Lugia relentlessly and diving in front of it every time the silver bird attempted to charge an attack. Lugia drew itself back, visibly annoyed, then beat its wings rapidly, stirring up a fierce whirlwind and knocking the sky guardian out of its way. The silver bird then began gathering energy for another beam attack until a fireball stuck it in the belly, sending it reeling backward. It snapped its head in the opposite direction to see Ho-oh soaring upward to meet it once again, flames licking the edges of its crooked beak.

Mewtwo paused, glancing back at the gold and silver birds locked in combat with each other. It was only a momentary pause, though—within seconds, he’d gone back to ripping up chunks of concrete and asphalt with his mind, effortlessly tossing them aside. And then, from the trees, a jagged blue beam and a jet of flames shot right at the clone, forcing him to loop out of the way. A dazzling phoenix shot into the air, its wings scattering embers as it zeroed in on Mewtwo. Seconds later, Articuno’s cry filled the air, and the cobalt falcon flew upward to join Moltres.

Weirdly enough, I was glad to see them. Even though it was another reminder that we’d failed to save them. Even though that might have been the only reason they were fighting Mewtwo, which meant that in some small, twisted way, I was actually glad that the Rockets had control of them right now. It was completely messed up, and sure as hell wasn’t a reason to want the Legendaries to get captured, but right now, in this moment, it was fortunate. If Mewtwo was busy with Articuno and Moltres, that would give people time to evacuate, right?

“Holy sh‌it, you guys. You really think this was worth letting Mewtwo go free?” Starr asked, fixing me and Ajia with an incredulous glare. “Cause I know for a fact the Rockets weren’t planning on using its power like this.”

“Starr, the only reason we made it out of Viridian base alive was because we freed Mewtwo,” Ajia calmly replied.

“Bullsh‌it, you had Mew,” she shot back. “You didn’t need to let Mewtwo go free. But you two had been planning it all along, right?”

I swallowed hard and glanced away. Of course we’d been planning to free Mewtwo all along. And until now, I’d never remotely questioned if it was the right thing to do. It just went without saying that he deserved to be free. Which meant that in a way, the destruction of Viridian was our fault. Except… the Rockets had started it by targeting the Legendaries in the first place—that had to count for something, right? But the Legendaries weren’t even attempting to prevent any collateral damage, and to any unknowing observer it looked like the Rockets’ legends were protecting the city, and damn it all, why did this have to be so backwards?

“Don’t tell me you’re okay with the way Team Rocket brainwashed Mewtwo and used him to catch the others,” I mumbled, trying and not quite succeeding at driving away my own uncertainty. Freeing him was the right thing. It had to be. Nothing made sense if it wasn’t.

Starr squinted at me. “I haven’t figured out how I feel about that, alright?” she snapped. “My issues with Team Rocket are all personal—the Legendaries have nothing to do with any of it. But this?”—she gestured to the ongoing chaos—“This is not okay.”

<No. It’s not,> Mew agreed. <But neither Mewtwo nor Lugia intends to back down today. No matter the cost. They intend to end the threat. We must stop them.>

My stomach dropped through the floor. Would we be… actually fighting Legendaries?

Seeing the look on my face, Ajia quickly added, “Mew and I will try to stop them. You and Starr should stick to the ground and find out how the Rockets are reacting to all of this.”

“You guys do know we had a plan for something like this, right?” Starr cut in.

All eyes turned to her. She paused, then hastily added, “Er, the Rockets, I mean.”

<Any information you can provide will be invaluable,> Mew said, fixing her large eyes on Starr imploringly.

Starr blinked, obviously still having a hard time grasping the fact that a Legendary was right in front of us, asking us for help. I could hardly believe it myself.

“Riiight, so…” Starr began, glancing back and forth at all of us. “It’s pretty obvious Articuno and Moltres are both sticking to defensive tactics. But their handlers will be nearby in case either gets knocked out. The boss, the admins, and all the other important members will have already been evacuated through one of the secondary entrances. Grunts will probably be moved away from the commons and to the storage and acquisition divisions—they have service elevators connecting to a few warehouses across town. That just leaves the combat unit. Bet you anything they’ve moved the ALRs above ground through the transport ramp, and they’re not going anywhere. So if you don’t want them catching more Legendaries, that’s what you’re gonna have to deal with.”

“Destroying ALRs sounds a lot better than fighting Legendaries,” I admitted.

Ajia tapped a fist against her open palm. “That’s perfect—if the combat unit’s defenses go down, they’ll have no choice but to retreat. That way, no one will be captured. And with the Rockets gone, the Legendaries won’t have any reason to attack Viridian.”

It was an optimistic plan. Too optimistic. But at the moment, that’s what we needed.

Mew’s eyes turned steely. <I will take us closer to the battle. Prepare yourselves.>

Within seconds, the surrounding trees and hills melted away into the tall grasses on the outskirts of Viridian. From here, we no longer had a clear view of the city’s destruction, but the sounds—the explosions tearing through the streets, the blare of the emergency sirens, the engines revving from cars no doubt trying to escape—the sounds made it impossible to forget why we were here.

Ajia wasted no time in letting out her Aerodactyl and mounting the flying-type. Mew glowed for a few seconds, then suddenly ballooned outward in size. Arms, legs, and tail thickened; ears receded; wings and antennae sprouted, until finally the light faded to reveal golden-orange scales where there had once been pale rose fur. The newly-transformed Dragonite gave her wings a few test flaps before turning to face Starr and me.

<I wish you the best,> she said. <Both of you.>

Starr raised an eyebrow at that last bit, but Mew had already launched herself into the air, closely followed by Ajia on her Aerodactyl.

“Let’s get this over with,” Starr muttered, releasing her Arcanine and climbing onto its back. An instinctive shudder ran through me upon seeing her like that—seated atop the firedog, wearing that stern expression. In that moment, it was really, really hard not to see her as Astrid, no matter how badly I wanted to burn that image out of my brain forever.

I forced my eyes shut, taking a deep breath to steel myself. Then I grabbed Aros’s Pokéball and released him. The Flygon appeared in front of me, glanced around at his surroundings, then promptly tensed up when he laid eyes on Starr and her Arcanine, flaring his wings outward and hissing.

Damn it, I should have realized he’d have just as much reason to instinctively see her as a threat. I carefully laid a hand on his shoulder, rearranged my face into one that was as calm and reassuring as possible, and said, “Aros, listen to me—Rockets and Legendaries are fighting over Viridian City. Starr’s going to help us stop them, but I need you to—”

“*No. No, I don’t like this,*” the dragon growled.

“I don’t like this either,” I replied, ignoring that our use of ‘this’ was referring to two entirely different things. “But we have to hurry. The longer we wait, the more damage gets done.”

Aros wouldn’t look at me. His red-lensed eyes were fixed squarely on Arcanine, fangs bared in what probably looked like an intimidating snarl to anyone who couldn’t see right through it.

And then, in the same authoritative tone she’d always used as a Rocket, Starr snapped, “People are dying, Twenty-four. Listen to your trainer and let’s get a move on.”

Aros drew himself back like he’d just been slapped. The former head of the combat unit had just ordered him to listen to me. He glanced back and forth between Starr and me, lost for words, but slowly lowering his wings until they lay flat against his sides. I paused, unsure what his posture meant, but then a quick tilt of his head over the shoulder and it was obvious he wanted me to climb on. So I did.

I didn’t want to ignore his discomfort. I wanted the chance to talk to him about it, but right now was not the time. Later—I’d talk to him later. Even if the list of conversations I owed my Pokémon was steadily lengthening.

Starr gave a rapid series of hand signals to her Arcanine, and the firedog took off running north. I pointed after her and, after a few seconds’ hesitation, Aros fluttered his wings and took off in pursuit. We raced across the grassland, aiming for the forest on the northeast edge of the city, the sounds of the raging battle growing louder all the while. It wasn’t long until we crossed the treeline and Starr motioned for her Arcanine to slow down as we approached the area surrounding the transport ramp.

The combat unit was here, just like Starr said. Lights from their jeeps pierced the darkness, illuminating the ring of ALRs encircling the ramp entrance on flatbed semi-trucks. All around the clearing, Rockets were scrambling, some of them taking up guard posts with Pokémon at the ready. Others piled into jeeps and took off toward Viridian, while others still grabbed machinery from transport trucks before taking flight on their Pokémon, following after the jeeps.

As Arcanine shifted its weight, getting ready to leap forward, Starr glanced back at me and said, “You’ve fought enough Rockets that I’m gonna assume you know what you’re doing. Stay out of the line of fire and don’t you dare get yourself killed, you hear me?” She fixed me with an intense stare that didn’t let up until I nodded.

She gave a sharp nod in return. “Good.” Then her Arcanine dashed off so fast it was practically a blur.

I nudged Aros, and the two of us shot after her. Arcanine led the way, barking out flamethrowers in front of us and forcing Rockets to leap out of our way. It was dark, visibility was against them, and half the combat unit was busy dealing with rampaging Legendaries. We actually had the advantage here, and damn it if I wasn’t gonna take full advantage of that. Aros and I stuck close to Starr until we reached the ALR circle, then we broke formation and zeroed in on the closest machine. I ordered a Dragon Pulse, and the Flygon breathed out a lick of violet dragonfire, but it just crashed against an unseen energy field with a wave of sparks.

So the ALRs were in barrier mode now. But they’d have to drop the barrier eventually to let their transport vehicles escape the base. That’s when we’d make our move. Right now we had other concerns, though…

“Feint Attack!” I called out just seconds before gunfire rang out. The dragon-type barreled out of the way, dark aura already flaring up. I caught a glimpse of combat jeeps racing past us, full of armed Rockets, right before we faded into the shadows and slipped behind their lineup.

“Now Sand Tomb,” I ordered.

Aros dropped to the ground just long enough to dig his claws into the dirt, instantly dissolving a wide swath of land around us into quicksand. He just as quickly bolted back into the air the instant the gunfire started up again. The jeeps didn’t pursue; their tires spun uselessly against the sand.

A rush of satisfaction flooded my mind, mixing with the ongoing adrenaline shooting through my veins. It was nuts. I was supposed to be afraid. I was supposed to hate this. But the only thing I could think about was the next move, the next target, the next way to take advantage of the Rockets’ disorganization.

We swooped back down to fly past Arcanine, who was deftly leaping out of the line of fire with erratic bursts of Extremespeed. Then a flash of orange caught my eye as Raichu shot out of nowhere—tail glowing metallic—and slashed holes in the Rockets’ tires. Not too surprising that Starr was doing alright against them, but I was still glad to see it.

Nothing else took priority, so I ordered another quick Dragon Pulse against the ALRs. Same result—how much longer was that barrier going to stay up? We could only avoid the Rockets for so long. And we didn’t have nearly the numbers to pull the same trick the Rebellion did last time.

An explosion of light burst from nowhere so close it practically blinded me. I shielded my eyes, squinting as stars danced in my vision. A Pokéball flash? But how was it right in my face when there was no one else around? Unless… it was one of mine. Only one of my Pokémon knew how to break out of a Pokéball.

My heart sank through the ground as my eyes finally adjusted enough to see the Pikachu that had materialized in front of me. Strings of lightning coursed through his fur as he surveyed the Rockets’ forces.

“Chibi!” I cried. The hybrid’s ears twitched. He turned his head just enough to glance at me out of the corner of one eye.

“*I told you I was going to fight them,*” he said in a low tone of voice.

My stomach curled inward on itself. I had to do something. I should have done something before. Should have helped him. Should have tried talking to him again. Should have…

“At least stay close by so I can—”

He shook his head. “*Not this time.*” Then he raced off.

I swore under my breath before hastily grabbing a Pokéball from my belt and throwing it forward, releasing Stygian in a flash.

“Follow him,” I said, pointing. “I’ll need you to bail him out if he knocks himself out.”

The dark-type nodded wordlessly before slipping into the shadows and dashing away. She’d never failed yet. In fact, she’d proven herself to be a master of getting out of tight spots. And this was the perfect opportunity for her to abuse her Feint Attack to slip in and out of the shadows. I didn’t have anything to worry about. Just had to keep telling myself that.

A brilliant orange glow suddenly lit the clearing, and I jerked my head in its direction to see Arcanine spouting massive fireballs at the cargo hold of a truck attempting to leave the base. A squad of Pokémon suddenly materialized nearby, half of them launching jets of water at the firedog and the other half extinguishing the raging flames. Arcanine crouched down, raising a Protect around Starr and itself. The Rockets’ refused to let up; their Pokémon increased the pressure on their waterspouts. Raichu jumped in front and fired off series of Thunderbolts, dropping two of them before retreating behind the truck to avoid the Mud Shots launched back at him.

And then the important detail in all of that action finally jumped out at me: trucks. Leaving the base. The ALR barrier was down! Had to attack while we had the chance!

I tapped Aros’s side and pointed at the closest target. “Another Dragon Pulse!”

The Flygon’s dragonfire struck the ALR’s metal shell in a blaze of violet sparks and I couldn’t help pumping a fist. Finally, no more pesky barrier to deal with. Finally, we could do what we’d set out to do.

And then a sound caught my ears. An unearthly howl, echoing in the wind. A shiver ran down my spine, and I couldn’t help glancing around uneasily. I knew that sound.

A waterspout burst through the trees, knocking a combat jeep flying backward so hard it flipped over in midair and landed on its roof with a metallic crunch. Seconds later, a cobalt beast burst through the trees, gale force winds slashing outward from it, sweeping enemy Pokémon off their feet and slamming them to the ground just as hard.

I clenched my teeth. Suicune. One of the Legendaries responsible for this mess. A major problem for the Rockets, sure, but I still wasn’t happy to see it here. I turned back to check Aros’s progress on disarming the ALR and—my face fell. The metal was glowing hot but had only just barely started warping from the dragonfire. Dammit, this was taking too long. Even in offense mode, these things were still ridiculously armored and almost impossible to take down alone.

A high-pitched wail split the air. I whirled around to see the adjacent ALR firing a bright yellow beam at Suicune. The beast staggered backward under the force of the attack, snarling furiously and opening its mouth to retaliate with a Hydro Pump. Then Aros and I had to duck as the ALR we’d been attacking suddenly rotated its upper half 180 degrees to fire at the water-type. Suicune let out a pitiful cry and sank to its knees, caught between the force of the twin beams.

Without thinking, I grabbed two Pokéballs from my belt and threw them forward, yelling, “Air Cutter, Fire Blast!”

Firestorm and Swift appeared in front of me. Their eyes widened at the sight of Suicune paralyzed and howling in pain, but they knew better than to question things in the middle of a mission. We’d trained for this. A massive five-pointed blaze and a relentless flurry of wind blades joined Aros’s dragonfire in tearing through the ALR armor.

This was stupid, focusing all our efforts on offense while we were out in the open and could be attacked at any time. I threw a glance over my shoulder and caught a glimpse of more Rockets approaching from the shadows of the forest. Too dark to count them. Had to flee. Had to save Suicune. Couldn’t do both. Flashes of light signaled more Pokémon being let out. We were running out of time. Chunks of molten metal slowly slid down the ALR, exposing the machinery within. We were so close!

Then the unmistakable sound of attacks crashing against Protect reached my ears. Slowly, I turned in its direction, then blinked in surprise. Arcanine, Feraligatr, and Rapidash stood firm between my Pokémon and the Rockets’, using the same alternating Protect technique that the Rebellion had perfected. Starr barked out orders to Flareon and Raichu, who darted in and out of the fray, attacking with electrified punches and glowing hot fangs.

“We need to target both ALRs!” I yelled, throwing an arm toward the machine on the opposite side of Suicune.

Starr didn’t look back at me; her attention was held firmly by the battle. But then, after several seconds, she called out, “FF, machine target, strongest moves!”

Feraligatr and Flareon broke from the lineup, racing toward the ALR. Arcanine and Rapidash stayed behind to keep using Protect. Raichu kept up the offensive pressure by switching to Discharge, catching both the Rockets and their Pokémon in a web of lightning. I flinched and turned away—I knew what that felt like. I didn’t need to see it.

Firestorm paused to catch his breath, embers dripping from his mouth, before pressing the attack once more. Aros’s dragonfire was down to a narrow stream, only half as bright as it had been. We had to be getting close—we had to. On the second machine, Feraligatr’s claws tore jagged holes in the armor while the internals glowed white-hot from Flareon’s breath. Both beams flickered once… twice… come on! Just a little more—!

Finally, an explosion of sparks shot out of the ALR cannon as the top half of the machine literally collapsed inward under its own weight. On the second ALR, the middle portion finally melted enough for Feraligatr to rip the cannon off entirely, instantly shutting down the beam. We’d done it.

Raichu dashed over to us, looking rather self-satisfied. A shiver ran through me when I saw that the entire squad of Rockets was now on the ground, out cold. Without any more gunfire to worry about, Arcanine and Rapidash had rushed forward to engage the enemy Pokémon, unleashing a barrage of fire on all of them.

“I’m… I’m honestly surprised more of them didn’t attack us,” I said, my voice shaking from… exhilaration? Stress? I couldn’t tell.

“They’re a little busy dealing with number nine,” Starr said dryly, jerking a thumb toward the other side of the ALR circle. Now that I was paying attention, I could see the occasional lightning flash in that direction. So he hadn’t run out of power yet. That was good. Although part of me hoped that he would so he’d pass out and then Stygian could bring him back.

A low growl snapped my focus back to Suicune. The beast took a few trembling steps, its eyes dazed and unfocused. Then it shook its head as though trying to clear it before glancing around hurriedly, its gaze falling onto Starr and me. The Legendary squinted as though trying to identify us. Then its eyes went wide.

“Interlopers… I should have known,” it muttered. “Your intervention is neither wanted nor needed!” Just as pleasant as always, then.

Movement in the trees above caught my eye. Dammit, what now? Couldn’t we have five minutes without another problem showing up?

I barely had enough time to recall Swift and Firestorm before a mounted squad of Rockets on flying Pokémon dove at us. Suicune took off running, firing a lightning-fast Bubblebeam volley that knocked three Pokémon out of the air. The remaining Rockets broke formation, circling around the beast, those in front taking defensive positions while the ones in the back swooped in closer. Light glinted off metallic devices strapped to their arms. I squinted at one, trying to make out the details, when the Rocket wearing it grabbed hold of a handle with their opposite hand and pulled back sharply. In the blink of an eye, an explosion of energy shot a ball straight at the water beast, instantly transforming it into bright red light. I gaped at where Suicune had just been standing, where there was now only a violet Pokéball vibrating furiously on the ground.

The Rockets had Master Ball cannons now? That wasn’t allowed! How were we supposed to stop that?!

A Xatu’s eyes flashed blue and a psychic glow surrounded the ball, lifting it upward. The ball. Had to get the ball before the Rockets did. Had to get the ball.

“Feint Attack!” I hissed, pointing forward.

Time slowed. Dark aura flared up as Aros dove for the ball, wings straining. The Rockets turned. Their mounts charged up attacks. Flames and poison darts and rocks shot toward us, missing their mark, the shadows hiding our true position. Just a little further, had to destroy the Master Ball, just a little further—

The white glint of stars caught my eye. I turned at the last second. Too late—the Swift attack hit Aros’s left wing, sending our flight path spiraling out of control. I clung to the dragon’s side as tightly as I could, desperately trying to keep my eyes on the Master Ball even as our surroundings blurred into a dizzying whirlwind. A flicker of blue shot by, but by now it felt a million miles away and there was no way we could possibly reach it in time.

And then, in a burst of dark aura, a white-furred shape emerged from the shadows. A blade flashed through the darkness, striking the ball and shattering it with a wave of sparks.

Yes! Stygian had got it! Suicune emerged in a flash of light, lashing out in snarling frenzy the moment it took shape. Oh crap—no way was it in the mood to tell friend from foe. Had to back off now.

Vicious torrents of water shot in every direction. Aros darted upward, only narrowly avoiding one that passed so close I felt the icy mist spray against my arm. I held tight as branches scraped at us until Aros burst above the treeline and into the open air. I blinked at the sudden brightness assaulting my eyes, then glanced around quickly, trying to take in as much of my surroundings as possible. I saw the streets of Viridian backed up with cars evacuating the area. The news choppers hovering overhead. People wearing brightly-colored uniforms—rangers?—flying on Pokémon, ducking and weaving through the chaotic sky battle, actually trying to calm the rampaging legends. Squads of police Pidgeot patrolling the air above the major roads, using Protect to shield cars from flying debris as Mewtwo tore apart more buildings. Still the same number of Legendaries flying around—good. Or bad, in a way. None had been captured, but none had left either.

Moltres and Articuno circled around Mewtwo like vultures, spouting fire and ice at him repeatedly. The clone raised a psychic barrier, but the sheer strength of their attacks was making it spark and flicker with each strike. Finally, Mewtwo turned to face the pair of birds, lifting an entire building over his head. With just the tiniest flex of his hand, cracks shot across the walls, crumbling the building in midair. Then, before either of the birds could make a move to dodge, Mewtwo hurled an avalanche of concrete through the air, knocking the pair to the ground and burying them in a makeshift Rock Slide.

But Mewtwo didn’t go back to demolishing the Rocket base. He remained in the sky, scanning his surroundings for more opponents. Lugia and Ho-oh were still locked in combat, trading wind and flames and dragonfire at each other. For the moment, Mewtwo had no one to fight. In fact, the only thing within his line of sight was one of the news helicopters that had strayed closer to the battle than the others.

Wait, he wasn’t going to…

The clone drew his arms to the side, charging up a blue ball of aura between them.

Seriously?! Collateral damage was one thing, but now he was going out of his way to attack innocents? I had to do something. If there was even the slightest chance I could convince him not to…

Too late—I’d barely opened my mouth to call out to him before he fired the Aura Sphere forward. I stared, frozen in shock as the orb shot through the air, zeroing in on the helicopter. And then an orange blur shot out of nowhere, right into the Aura Sphere’s path. The attack exploded in a burst of light, which faded to reveal a Dragonite hovering lightly in midair, steam leaking from its body.

“*You must stop!*” the dragon cried.

Mewtwo paused, turning to gaze at the dragon hovering in front of him and tilting his head ever so slightly. Then his eyes narrowed. <That form does not fool me. I can feel your presence. I know it’s you.>

Mew ignored his comment and simply replied, “*Nothing good can come from any of this.*”

Mewtwo turned away, refocusing his attention on the aerial combat unit squads gathering in the skies above the Rocket base. He spread his arms wide, wisps of psychic energy leaking from his bulbous fingertips.

“*You’re only putting yourselves in danger! Do not underestimate the humans!*”

In an instant, Mewtwo spun around and shot towards Mew, stopping right in front of her so that he was staring her dead in the eyes.

<I have no reason to fear the humans,> the clone said, his words slow and meticulous. <I have captured myself in a Pokéball and hidden it where no one can find it. I cannot be captured now, correct?>

Holy crap. I had never thought about it like that, but he honestly had a point. Not only that, but if we hadn’t destroyed Suicune’s ball… if we’d just let it out and kept the ball… the beast would have been immune to capture too. Why hadn’t I thought of that?

“*You can still be defeated!*” Mew countered. “*And imprisoned. Even without a Pokéball. And what will you do then?*”

Mewtwo narrowed his eyes. <Just stay out of this.> He swung an arm forward, already charging an orb of black energy in his hand. But Mew put on a burst of speed and zipped away instantly.

A flash of flames and a burst of ice shot up from the ground. No way—hadn’t the birds been defeated? But then, sure enough, Articuno and Moltres soared upward, their wounds freshly healed. The Rockets—they must have healed the two birds while Mewtwo was distracted. Now the aerial combat unit squads were gaining altitude to join their Legendaries. If they weren’t just leaving this fight to Articuno and Moltres, that could only mean one thing—they had Master Ball cannons. They were going to capture Lugia and Ho-oh.

My brain froze up and instinct took over and before I’d even worked through my own plan, I found myself pointing forward and yelling, “Sandstorm!”

Aros’s wings buzzed into overdrive. Dirt and dust and debris from the ground rushed upward to form a swirling vortex of sand all around us. No shortage of material to work with—the storm grew and grew, fed by the rubble scattered across the city blocks to our west. It clouded the sky, blotting out the moon and obscuring the Rockets and their Legendaries. I couldn’t help grinning. They didn’t have goggles on or anything—try taking aim at the legends in that.

And then a sudden rush of cold crashed against us. Aros’s wings faltered with the impact, fluttering erratically for a few seconds before the vibration stopped and I felt them brush limply against my legs. And for a single, heart-stopping moment, we were weightless, and then we were falling.

“Aros? Aros!!”

All I could do was hang on for dear life as we plummeted through the trees. Aros hit the ground, and the impact from the blow shot through me, breaking my grip and knocking me flying into the underbrush. I landed in a crumpled heap, arms limp, head spinning, and pain wracking every inch of my body.

Damn it. What the hell had just happened? I grit my teeth, forcing all my effort into flexing each limb, one after the other. Everything hurt, but nothing felt broken at the very least. I took a deep breath and winced as I braced myself against the roots of a tree and slowly lifted myself from the ground. First one leg. Then the other, until I was on my feet, swaying a bit from dizziness and brushing snapped twigs and dead leaves from my jacket with scraped-up hands. Once I’d finally got my bearings, I whirled around to find Aros splayed on the ground several yards behind me, his belly covered in glittering ice crystals.

Damn it, why hadn’t I been paying more attention?! I’d already been pushing him hard all night and he hadn’t even wanted to be a part of the fight, and now this?

Wait. He’d been hit from below. We’d been attacked from the ground. Our enemy was nearby! In a flash, I recalled Aros and let out Swift and Firestorm, just as I heard footsteps sprinting toward me.

“Protect!” I yelled.

Both my Pokémon raised shimmering barriers around themselves, and I ducked behind them as an Ice Beam shot past me, right where I’d been standing. Heart pounding, I glanced up to see a Rocket grunt jump out from the thick of the trees. What looked like an ice-type Eevee—how had a grunt managed to get her hands on one of those?—stood pawing the ground in front of its trainer.

Just a grunt—no firearm. No other Pokémon. I had two, and enough experience in double battles to keep track of both of them. Firestorm had an overwhelming advantage. Swift could stay in the back and offer support. We could win this.

“Glaceon, Icy Wind!” the Rocket yelled.

“Flame Burst; Air Cutter!”

Frigid air rushed toward us. Swift took to the air and beat his wings rapidly, sending out blades of wind that cut through Glaceon’s attack, but not before a layer of frost had formed on both my Pokémon. Firestorm stood his ground, retaliating with a blazing fireball, but the ice fox was quick enough to dodge. The fireball landed in the bushes, setting them ablaze and casting a bright, flickering firelight throughout the trees. Swift dove at Glaceon, hurling more wind blades at it and leaving dozens of tiny cuts on its frost-colored pelt.

“Ice Shard!” the Rocket ordered.

The Pidgeotto didn’t even have a chance to react. A thin sheet of ice instantly formed on Glaceon’s head crystals, then shot forward like a bullet, striking him right in the heart. I winced, practically feeling the impact as Swift fell backwards, crashing to the ground in an awkward heap. Firestorm took that opportunity to spit another fireball at the Glaceon, who just barely managed to leap out of the way at the last second. But this time the attack hit the dirt and exploded into a cloud of embers, singeing the fox’s coat.

Swift was struggling to stand, chunks of ice embedded in his feathers, muscles quivering from the cold. And then he started glowing. Feathers dissolved into a bright white light before his whole body expanded outward—talons thickening, wingspan doubling, head crest lengthening—until the light faded just as suddenly as it had appeared, and I found myself staring at a Pidgeot. I blinked at him in surprise and awe, mouth hanging open. He’d evolved? He’d evolved!!

The Rocket swore under her breath. Firestorm grinned wildly. Swift—the Pidgeot—took to the air with a mighty flap and circled overhead, the firelight gleaming off his glossy head feathers. And in that moment, I couldn’t help feeling really good about our odds.

“Another Flame Burst and Air Cutter!” I called out.

Swift was faster now—a single flap of his wings instantly sent a flurry of wind blades flying at our opponent. Firestorm took a deep breath, gathering a bright ball of flame in his throat, but then—

“Mirror Coat!”

Oh no. No no no. Just those two words were enough to bring cold reality crashing back down on my head. An iridescent sheen rippled across Glaceon’s coat as the fireball shot toward it. Time slowed to a crawl. I saw the fire fly through the air, striking the Glaceon dead-on. A shudder ran through the fox’s body as it staggered backward… and then a blinding burst of shimmering light erupted from the spot where the fire had landed. Firestorm’s eyes widened. He took a half step back before the light consumed him.

I shielded my eyes. Both from the brightness and because I couldn’t handle seeing him take that kind of attack. When I finally looked again, the fire lizard was on all fours, coughing hard with steam leaking off his body. My heart sank through the ground, and my hand drifted toward his Pokéball, until—

“*Don’t recall me!!*” Firestorm hissed, digging his claws into the dirt. No way. I had to recall him. There was no way he could fight in that condition. And yet… he was still our best shot at winning this fight. And he’d been devastated the last time I didn’t let him help out against Team Rocket. And he’d never forgive me if I recalled him now.

Slowly, muscles trembling the entire time, the Charmeleon dragged a foot forward and put his weight on it. Then the other, until he was standing on two legs again, swaying slightly, body glowing with the red aura of Blaze. I swallowed hard. So it was decided—he was going to keep fighting. I wasn’t in a position to play it safe. If Glaceon could rebound our distance moves, then we needed to take the fight to it.

“Get closer and use Fire Punch! Swift, use Aerial Ace!”

By the time Firestorm even managed to take a step forward, Swift had already closed the gap with Glaceon, beak glowing. He struck the Glaceon once, then immediately followed it with an upward slice. But he still wasn’t done. While Glaceon was reeling, the eagle was already banking around for another strike.

“Ice Beam the Pidgeot!” the Rocket called out.

A frigid blue beam shot toward the flying-type, nailing him right in the belly. Swift recoiled backward, shaking off the blow before diving at the fox once more. But then a second beam fired at him, and this one hit a wing. The Pidgeot’s eyes widened as his wing froze mid-flap, and he plummeted straight to the ground with a heavy thud. But by this point, Firestorm had actually managed to stumble his way closer to Glaceon while it was distracted with Swift. He blew out a fireball into his palm and drew it back in a fist before slamming it hard into the side of Glaceon’s face. The fire went out with the impact, but he pulled his arm back to follow up with another punch. Suddenly, his fist burst into flame right before smashing into the fox’s head crystals, scorching them black, the ice-type crying out in pain.

Firestorm paused, staring at his fist incredulously and at the flames licking his claws that had flared to life without him needing any fire breath.

“*I did it,*” he whispered. “*For real this time!*” And in spite of our situation, I couldn’t help but feel a swelling of pride.

Glaceon sank to its knees, panting hard and trembling all over. The Rocket took a few steps backward, glancing back and forth between Swift and Firestorm. We had her beat, and she knew it.

“What’s going on here?!” a voice called out through the trees.

The grunt’s eyes widened. “I need backup!” she yelled.

Damn it. Not more Rockets. We’d only just barely managed to beat one. This wasn’t the time for more!

An officer burst through the trees, running toward the cornered grunt. Without warning, Firestorm spat a glob of embers at the ground near the newcomer’s feet before he could get too close to any of us.

“*Stay back!*” the fire lizard snarled.

The man jumped back, one hand on a Pokéball and the other hand on his firearm. He glanced from Swift and Firestorm to the beaten grunt and her Glaceon. And then his eyes fell on me, mouth curled into a smirk.

He leveled the gun at me, and my blood ran cold.
 
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Chibi Pika

Stay positive
“*No!!*”

The next few seconds lasted forever. I saw the gun pointing straight at me. Saw the man’s finger tighten on the trigger. Then his eyes abruptly slid to the left and his face twisted up in alarm. Firestorm lunged, the man turned his gun on him at the last second, a gunshot split the air. Then a spray of blood, a cry of pain, and horrified shouting as the fire lizard sank red-hot fangs into the man’s arm, his tail flame blazing with rage. What the hell? The other Rocket panicked; her Glaceon fired Ice Beam repeatedly, but Firestorm was unfazed, his body consumed by the blazing red aura. Blood poured from wounds, claws slashed about in a frenzy, the Charmeleon held tight and refused to let go.

“Firestorm? Firestorm!!” I screamed.

And then he started glowing. A blinding white light engulfed his body as it doubled in height and expanded outward. His neck and jaws both elongated; a huge pair of wings suddenly sprouted. With a terrifying roar of pain and rage, the Charizard easily overtook the Rocket and threw him to the ground. His jaws were still clamped around the man’s arm—snarling in fury, Firestorm jerked his head back, ripping the shredded limb off and throwing it aside.

“Firestorm, what are you doing?!!” I screamed, gaping at him in horror.

Still hopelessly reaching for the gun with his other arm, the Rocket gave one last frantic cry of, “G-get this thing off of me!!” before Firestorm slashed open into the man’s torso and oh my god what was happening.

“*Not again…*” the dragon muttered, oblivious to the man’s screaming. “*Not again!!*” He expelled a vicious blast of heat that enveloped the body under him, blackening the flesh. The other Rocket had long since run off, which left Firestorm alone with the man’s charred remains, blood spattered across his face and claws.

I stood frozen on the spot, breathing shallow and limbs trembling and brain still trying to piece together what the hell I’d just seen. My Pokémon, the one who had once been that helpless little Charmander, had just brutally murdered someone. Someone who was going to kill us, but still.

“I—you… you saved my life, but… you… why did you… that?” I stuttered, still reeling with shock. I’d never even imagined that he’d be capable of anything like that. I couldn’t stop seeing it, even when I closed my eyes. His crazed desperation in a blaze of blood, and—

“*First with my trainer in the city… then with you on that ship… I was always too weak to do anything about it, but not again!!*” the Charizard roared, looking practically deranged.

I took a step backward as Swift hopped between us, flaring his good wing defensively. Pulling out Firestorm’s Pokéball, I carefully said, “Okay, okay, ‘not again’… whatever that means. I’ll just, y’know, recall you now…”

“*No! You can fly on me out of here! Finally, I can do it!*” he exclaimed with a crazed expression. No, definitely not. I pressed the button on his Pokéball, and the fire lizard dissolved into a beam of red light.

I stood motionless, staring at his Pokéball in disbelief, part of me desperately hoping that I’d imagined the last two minutes. But the evidence was right there. My eyes unconsciously slid back to where he’d done it, and oh god why did I look. The body was charred so thoroughly it might as well have been anything, but the blood splattered around it said otherwise, not to mention the arm lying ten feet away. And in a weird way I was still glad he’d saved us, but for the love of crap, why this? He was a Charizard; a single punch would have knocked the guy flying.

I sank to my knees, arms clasped around my middle, struggling to hold back a wave of nausea. Eventually failing and throwing up onto the ground.

“Why… why did he think that…” I said, choking on the words before wiping my mouth on the back on my hand and furiously rubbing the hand into the dirt.

Talons cautiously stepped into my field of view. Huge talons, not those of a Pidgeotto, but a Pidgeot. Something about seeing my first Pokémon now standing over me, even if it was because I was kneeling, made me feel unbearably small and helpless.

“*He wasn’t able to handle the evolution. And there are… some things he hasn’t told you about himself,*” Swift replied, his words slow and careful.

I didn’t ask what he meant. I didn’t want to know.

Something touched me out of nowhere, and I flinched before realizing that Swift was resting his head on my shoulder. “*It’s not safe here,*” the Pidgeot said gently.

All at once, something inside just broke, and I threw my arms around his neck, burying my face in his feathers. And even in the midst of all this, the back of my mind kept screaming that we had to keep moving, had to get back to the fight. Viridian was in danger. The Legendaries were in danger. I was in danger, if I just stayed here. But right now, I wanted nothing more than to ignore all of that and just stay here, holding Swift like this forever.

After some time, I finally managed to pull away. My eyes slid over to Swift’s frozen wing. He couldn’t even fold it against his side—it was just hanging there, stiff and useless.

“Your… your wing,” I said lamely, pointing at it.

Swift craned his neck back to look at it. “*I’ll be fine. But I won’t be able to fly until it’s healed.*”

Had to get a hold of myself. The mission wasn’t done yet. Not until either the Rockets or the Legendaries retreated. But then the cold truth hit me. Aros was unconscious. Swift was injured. Firestorm was delusional. Chibi and Stygian were elsewhere. I couldn’t do anything without their power.

Maybe I could find healing supplies. Unlikely, but worth a shot given that the Rockets were currently emptying their transport hangar. Either that or meet up with Starr or find Stygian or any number of other things that didn’t involve sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

“I’m gonna get back to the others and then I’ll heal your wing, I promise,” I said, grabbing Swift’s Pokéball.

“*Stay safe,*” the Pidgeot said as he dissolved into red light.

Everything still hurt like hell from the fall, but I pulled myself to my feet and set off toward the sounds of the ongoing battle. I hadn’t fallen far from the Rocket base; it wasn’t long until I reached the clearing where the ALRs had been set up. They were down to about half—Suicune must have destroyed more of them, although I couldn’t see the beast itself, and could only hope that it hadn’t been captured. I saw flames and lightning flying through the air across the clearing, but I was too far to tell if it was Arcanine and Raichu… or Chibi. If I could just get to them… The only problem was the squads of Rockets patrolling the ALRs like vultures. Without any Pokémon, I didn’t have a shot in hell at making it through.

But I had to do something. I spotted an overturned jeep and crept closer to it, heart pounding the entire time. Several crates in the back seat had spilled out when the jeep flipped and now lay scattered across the ground, some of them cracked, others half-crushed. Maybe one of them had healing supplies?

Worth a shot. My hands flew to the closest box, prying open its broken lid to reveal jars of battle enhancements. Fished through the shards of a second box and found nothing but Pokéballs. After that, communicators, scope lenses, power bracers, and none of this was helpful. There had to be something I could use. Anything. Some way I could help. Some way to not be totally useless.

Last box. Opening it revealed stacks of sleek, metallic arm cannons. Master Ball cannons. Dammit, those wouldn’t do me any good.

Or… would they? Mewtwo was immune to capture. Because he’d already technically been captured. Why couldn’t all the Legendaries do that?

The staggering weight of that realization took several seconds to fully process. I stood there, frozen on the spot while my brain attempted to work through the implications of such an idea.

This was what Stalker had been trying to argue. He’d said that his side was catching Legendaries so the Kanto Rockets couldn’t get them. At the same time, he was still willing to use their power to his own ends. But… if someone else were to do it. Someone with no intention of stealing their power and using it for themselves?

No. It was wrong. But… why? It wasn’t wrong to catch Pokémon in general. Why the Legendaries? Because no human should even have access to that kind of power. Maybe if their power was being abused? But if it wasn’t…

Mew had said that she didn’t expect Mewtwo or the others to back down. Not even if the odds were against them. They’d do anything to end the fight against Team Rocket today. But even if they managed to destroy the entire Viridian base, that wouldn’t end the fight, not by a long shot. The boss and the other higher-ups were long since evacuated. All this battle was doing was endangering both them and everyone else.

I had to protect the city. I had to protect the Legendaries. I had to do something. And I couldn’t possibly fight the Rockets head-on. But what if there was another way? I was tired of doing nothing. Tired of being powerless. I actually had a chance to make a difference this time. How could I turn that down?

I was running. At some point I’d grabbed a Master Ball cannon and strapped it to my arm, and now I was running as fast as my legs would carry me, away from the Rockets, the ALRs, the entire forest. I didn’t stop running until I’d reached the grasses on the outskirts of Viridian, and then I doubled over, gasping for breath but high on the surge of adrenaline shooting through my veins.

I couldn’t see Mewtwo. Had Mew managed to drive him away? Not likely. In any case, he’d already captured himself, so he wasn’t a factor. I could hear Suicune’s howling wind echoing throughout the streets of Viridian—so at least it hadn’t been captured, but there was also no way for me to get close to it without walking straight into ground zero. And then there was Lugia. Soaring low overhead, knocking Rockets out of the sky with only a light fluttering of its wings. Aside from a few scorch marks, the bird looked practically untouched. Just how tough was it? If the fight had been going on this long and it still had plenty of fight left in it, then at this rate… it would either level all of Viridian or get captured by the Rockets, and I wasn’t willing to let either one happen. It wouldn’t be expecting an attack from the ground, not when all of its enemies were in the air and all the ground Rockets were either evacuating or guarding the base. And the Rockets wouldn’t have any reason to think that a rebel had captured their target before them. I could escape into the trees. I could actually save a Legendary all by myself. Without anyone’s help. Not Stalker. Not Ajia. Not even my own Pokémon.

I had to do it.

Lugia wasn’t looking this way. Occasionally it raised a psychic barrier to block an attack from Articuno or Moltres, but that was easy to anticipate. I had a clear shot. I held out my arm and leveled it at the Legendary. And then I froze, arm trembling. My heart thundered in my chest. Sweat dripped down my forehead. My hand refused to move.

I couldn’t do it.

Had to do it.​

Had to leave.

Had to put a stop to this.​

It was wrong.

It was the only way.







I pulled back on the handle.

An explosive force knocked me off my feet, shooting the Master Ball towards its target. I didn’t see the hit, but I did see the look of utmost terror that struck Lugia’s face as its body transformed into blood-red energy. It flailed its wings in a desperate bid for freedom, but nothing could stop the capture process now. I flinched as a wave of horrified screeching assaulted my ears. Then the energy was drawn into the ball, which snapped shut and fell to the ground, vibrating furiously. I half-expected the ball to burst open any second. But it didn’t. It gave one last futile shake and grew still.

Lugia was caught. No single fact mattered more than that. Not the Rockets. Not the other Legendaries. I had done it? Had I meant to?

The image of its terrified expression flashed through my mind, and I couldn’t help wincing. If I was saving the legend, it sure didn’t feel like it anymore. What was I supposed to do with it now? Take it far away from the Rockets and Viridian City? Explain that it was immune to capture just like Mewtwo?

My legs trembled as they carried me closer to the ball now lying motionless on the ground. Gingerly, my fingers reached out to touch it, still expecting it to lash out at any moment. But the ball didn’t move. My fingers wrapped around it. Still trembling, I lifted the ball to my face.

“*What…?*” a voice gasped in Pokéspeech.

I almost jumped out of my skin as I whirled around to locate the source of the voice. My eyes fell on a small, yellow shape amidst the grass, lit by the light of the full moon. Chibi?! What was he doing here?! Had he followed me?

“Chibi! I can explain… at least, I think I ca—this isn’t what you think!” I stuttered, dumbstruck. This wasn’t what it looked like. What was it, then? What was it?

The Pikachu just stared at me, mouth agape. Finally, he shook his head as though trying to regain himself before hissing, “*What the hell did you do that for?!*”

What the hell did I do it for? All my reasons and justifications suddenly felt hollow and trite. It had made sense in my head, in a world where the consequences of catching a Legendary didn’t exist. But in this world, where everyone I knew was so adamantly against the thing I’d just done? I was the same as Stalker. But was Stalker really wrong? Ajia certainly thought so.

Wait… Ajia. How would I explain it to her? How would I explain it to Lugia? Did I think it would be okay with this? Did I care?

I only wanted to protect the Legendaries. But they wouldn’t get a choice this way. Capturing them took that away. Even if their power wasn’t being abused… to steal their freedom, even for the sake of protecting them…

It was wrong. Absolutely. I wanted nothing to do with it. I drew back my arm and hurled the Master Ball as far from myself as I could.

“*No, don’t!!*” Chibi shouted, absolutely horrorstruck.

The ball struck the ground and burst open, unleashing a brilliant surge of white light taking the Legendary’s giant form. Lugia shrieked in surprise and rage, flapping its wings rapidly to steady itself in the air as it glanced around, frantically searching for its captor. The avian dragon fixed its gaze on the Rockets in the distance, then suddenly whirled around to face me, its eyes blazing with unparalleled fury. My heart stopped and my body froze up. My eyes took in the sight of it charging a ball of energy in its mouth, but somehow my brain couldn’t piece together what to do. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I could only stare in paralyzed terror at the deadly beam of energy that was going to end me.

I was an idiot and I was going to die for it.

And then a giant lightning bolt flew out of nowhere, striking Lugia head-on. The giant silver bird recoiled backward, its Hyper Beam flying off wildly into the air. It blinked in surprise, as though it couldn’t believe what had just happened. And then, slowly, it turned its gaze past me, to where I knew Chibi was standing. I glanced back at him, dumbstruck. The Pikachu was sparking wildly and out of breath, trembling all over. He’d… he’d put his entire remaining power supply into that one bolt, hadn’t he? And he was still conscious?

“*Please don’t!!*” he pleaded in between gasps for breath. “*She’s not with Team Rocket, she’s fighting against them! That capture was stupid and impulsive and it didn’t mean anything! So please… don’t!!*” Tears streamed down his face.

The birdlike dragon paused, and for a moment, it honestly looked taken aback. At least… for a moment. Then its gaze hardened. It lifted Chibi into the air psychically before tossing him into the forest unceremoniously. And then a telepathic voice filled my mind, chillingly bitter and overbearingly powerful, its sheer presence threatening to crush me.

<The half-legend speaks on your behalf, human. But it does not matter if you are opposing the ones who seek to overthrow the legends. Alliances mean nothing. Ambitions run awry no matter the side. It is all the same to me.>

It flicked a single wing feather.

The world dissolved into pain. Psychic energy tore through my body and a blinding pain suddenly dug into every inch of me at once. I was on fire, every nerve ablaze with agony. I tried to clench my fists, cry out, do something, but nothing would respond. I was helpless. Drowning. Couldn’t do anything, couldn’t see anything, my senses were gone, my body didn’t exist, nothing existed but pain—god, why wouldn’t it stop? Couldn’t tell how long it had lasted. Seconds, minutes? Couldn’t keep track, thoughts wouldn’t flow straight. Couldn’t do anything… couldn’t stop it… couldn’t keep going… Just end it now, Lugia. Anything but this. I didn’t want to… hadn’t meant to… no way to take it back…

The last thing I saw was Lugia’s eyes glowing in a void, terrifying, beautiful, and unreal. Then everything faded to nothingness.






~End Chapter 28~

Fun fact: this chapter played out almost identically to the old version. The only thing that really changed was all the fight choreography. Everything else dates back to when I was 17. It’s wild to think about. I almost wish I could go back and show myself!

~Chibi~
 
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3DSRed

Alias RedAgent14
...You wrote that ending scene when you were 17?!
That makes this chapter the most impressive chapter of this fic so far.
Though, I am sort of biased because I love seeing the "uncontrollable power" and "well-intentioned insane person" tropes used together (heck, I end up having at least one character in every RP I do that ends up having that type of character development).
THAT SECOND HALF THOUGH. All of a sudden we went from a really awesome scene that felt like a culmination of everything Jade learned from Commander Shepard, to.... I don't even know how to describe it.
It was well worth the wait. (But don't you ever make us wait that long again; I was worried we were gonna have a Fifth Rewrite.)

EDIT: Would you mind if I translated LC into Japanese? I'm taking Japanese as a language class for college and the variety of settings and types of people would be good practice for writing on different levels of formality that aren't "textbook neutral." (Example: Rudy's speech pattern would probably be the typical "shonen manga protagonist" who uses more masculine speech and isn't usually above textbook neutral in formality, whereas Jade's speech would probably stay in the neutral areas but get a bit more formal with Stalker pre-chapter 27.)
 
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Negrek

Lost but Seeking
Awww yiss two-post chapter with content warning at the top. That's how you know dis gun be good.

ian. Enraged screeching echoed through the air like a haunting melody, sending chills down my spine.
"Enraged screeching" doesn't really jive with the idea of "melody," imo.

The rose cat shook her head sadly.
This reads really strangely to me, because "rose cat" makes me think "flower cat," not "pink cat." Is there any reason for you to mention her color here? (Isn't it dark? Can Jade even see what color she is atm?)

“Holy ****, you guys. You really think this was worth letting Mewtwo go free?” Starr asked, fixing me and Ajia with an incredulous glare. “Cause I know for a fact the Rockets weren’t planning on using its power like this.”
Erm. Starr. Did you forget that the last time Jade saw Mewtwo under Rocket control, they were using it to nuke part of Midnight Island and murder a bunch of kids? Less destructive than what's going on here, maybe, but kinda in the same vein.

Aros wouldn’t look at me. His red-lensed eyes were fixed squarely on Arcanine, fangs bared in what probably looked like an intimidating snarl to anyone who couldn’t see right through it.
Awww.

He glanced back and forth between Starr and me, lost for words, but slowly lowering his wings until they lay flat against his sides.
Slowly *lowered

The Rockets had Master Ball cannons now? That wasn’t allowed! How were we supposed to stop that?!
Huh, they sound kind of like Snag Machines. It's cool to see Team Rocket get some toys besides the ALRs to use in battle. That is a lot of master balls, heh.

Finally, Mewtwo turned to face the pair of birds, lifting an entire building over his head. With just the tiniest flex of his hand, cracks shot across the walls, crumbling the building in midair. Then, before either of the birds could make a move to dodge, Mewtwo hurled an avalanche of concrete through the air, knocking the pair to the ground and burying them in a makeshift Rock Slide.
Haha, I love Mewtwo being stupidly OP.

Not only that, but if we hadn’t destroyed Suicune’s ball. If we’d just let it out...
I think you want a comma there, not a period.

I grit my teeth, forcing all my effort into flexing each limb, one after the other.
*gritted

Feathers dissolved into a bright white light before his whole body expanded outward—talons thickening, wingspan doubling, head crest lengthening—until the light faded just as suddenly as it had appeared, and I found myself staring at a Pidgeot. I blinked at him in surprise and awe, mouth hanging open. He’d evolved? He’d evolved!!
I had a feeling that was coming! And I bet Firestorm's super jealous that he wasn't the one to evolve first, heh.

“*I did it,*” he whispered. “*I actually did it! For real this time!*” And in spite of our situation, I couldn’t help but feel a swelling of pride.
I like this little callback to Firestorm's earlier struggles with training. He doesn't get to evolve, but he has powered up a bit! I think this moment lost a bit of impact, though, since it's been so long since Firestorm's trouble with fire punch has been mentioned, and it's not clear what allowed him to finally "get it" here. Like, he doesn't appear to have overcome anything or done anything in particular to allow him to use the attack now, he just appears to have mastered it as a result of stress or maybe simply "levelling up."

He leveled the gun at me, and my blood ran cold.
Well, that's definitely a good place to break the chapter!

The next few seconds lasted forever. I saw the gun pointing straight at me. Saw the man’s finger tighten on the trigger. Then his eyes abruptly slid to the left and his face twisted up in alarm. Firestorm lunged, the man turned his gun on him at the last second, a gunshot split the air. Then a spray of blood, a cry of pain, and horrified shouting as the fire lizard sank red-hot fangs into the man’s arm, his tail flame blazing with rage. What the hell?! The other Rocket panicked; her Glaceon fired Ice Beam repeatedly, but Firestorm was unfazed, his body consumed by the blazing red aura. Blood poured from wounds, claws slashed about in a frenzy, the Charmeleon held tight and refused to let go.
I really like the zoom-in here. Super tense, and of course appropriate that Jade would be taking all of this in with the threat of the gun on her.

And then he started glowing. A blinding white light engulfed his body as it doubled in height and expanded outward. His neck and jaws both elongated; a huge pair of wings suddenly sprouted. With a terrifying roar of pain and rage, the Charizard easily overtook the Rocket and threw him to the ground. His jaws were still clamped around the man’s arm—snarling in fury, Firestorm jerked his head back, ripping the shredded limb off and throwing it aside.
Oh, so he does get to evolve!

...oh. D:

I love how you make Firestorm's evolution out to be such a negative thing here. He's got what he always wanted, or at least he thinks he does: the power to protect his trainer/the people he cares about, but in doing so he's at least temporarily lost what made him different than the people he wants to protect Jade from. Very excited to see what the eventual ramifications of this are going to be. And the whole description of him ripping into the defenseless Rocket grunt, damn! I hope Jade's excited for more trauma. :D

I didn’t ask what he meant. I didn’t want to know.
Unfortunately, Jade, you aren't going to be able to deal with it unless you know...

...but there was also no way for me to get close it without walking straight into ground zero.
to get close *to it

Then the energy was drawn into the ball, which snapped shut and fell to the ground, vibrating furiously. I half-expected the ball to burst open any second. But it didn’t. It gave one last futile shake and grew still.
Did she fire the master ball straight up? Otherwise it wouldn't land anywhere near her... or do pokéballs do that kind of weird rebound thing where they go back to the person who threw them instead of having a normal trajectory?

Ahhh, it's Jade Makes Bad Decisions: the chapter! It definitely feels like there are going to be consequences down the line for what went on here, from Firestorm's evolution to Chibi witnessing Jade's capture of Lugia but trying to defend her anyway. I'm guessing Mew (or maybe Mewtwo, if he still feels he owes a debt to her) is going to show up to prevent one of the consequences being "oops, she's dead," but there will still be plenty of ramifications later on.

For me the high points of the chapter were definitely the description of the city getting razed and Firestorm's evolution. I thought you did a really good job of painting a picture of what Viridian looked like while under assault from the legendaries, as well as putting some little touches of worldbuilding in there, like the way the police pokémon try to protect people evacuating. (Although I'd hope they'd keep some teleporters around to handle situations like this, it seems like that would be the fastest way to get people to safety!) In particular I was struck by your use of sound in describing the city's destruction. You did a great job of employing the sensory detail, and you so rarely see stories talk about that dimension of battle, even when it would obviously be loud and unpleasant!

I already mentioned Firestorm's bit, but to reiterate, it was great! Shocking but still feels like it makes sense for his character, a tragic twist on the "evolves mid-battle and saves the day" trope, and kind of pushes Jade further towards confronting his issues and hopefully helping him work through some of them.

I did think that the battle overall felt a little scattered, though; nice scenes, but the connections between them felt strange to me. Like, we start with a fairly standard ALR attack, which was the least interesting part of the chapter for me. What might have spiced it up a bit is a little more interaction with Starr, a sense of how fighting alongside her is different than fighting with the Resistance (or against her!). I did like the part where Jade gets uncomfortable seeing grunts electrocuted though, heh. But Starr disappears pretty rapidly, and then we move into the fight against the glaceon trainer, which actually takes up a lot of space. This is kind of its own self-contained dramatic piece with the two pokémon evolutions, and while I liked it, it didn't feel like it really connected to the larger situation. Perhaps it went on a little long... Not in the sense that it was boring or that it felt long, but rather that it took up enough space to kind of drag the center of gravity in the chapter away from the actual Viridian battle.

And then we move from Firestorm's evolution to Jade's brainwave about the master balls, which to me is the part that kind of feels like it comes out of nowhere. I think what you were going for is that she's shaken up after what happened with Firestorm and knowing she's more or less without protection and so kind of seizes on this desperate idea, but I don't think that was made tremendously explicit in the text. Like, I think if you conveyed a bit more of her sense of agitation and desperation while digging through the box, scoping out the situation, etc. it would have played better to me.

I did like the part where she was arguing with herself over whether or not cathing a legendary to protect it makes sense (keep getting these vibes about some other fic...), and I could certainly see how Jade would latch onto the Bad Idea master ball plan given her situation, but the way it came across to me in the story was more an abrupt swerve than something that followed naturally from the previous scenes.

I wonder what Stalker's up to. I guess he probably has no interest in stopping the sacking of Viridian Base... but there are also a couple legendaries there that would be relatively easy pickings for an opportunist who showed up to try and "help" the Kanto force and in doing so took them for himself.

For whatever reason I was thinking this was the last chapter of the first arc, but we must have at least a couple more to go. Going out with a bang! I imagine that some of the real fallout from this battle is going to have to be saved for the next arc, but you're definitely putting a lot of interesting pieces in place!
 
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