The Legendarian Chronicles: the rewritten version

[Chibi Pika]

“This is beyond prophecies now…we have seen it with our eyes, the actions of the so-called Team Rocket. Their strides toward power have paved the way for things to come.”

-Lugia​

For though none may prevail, what is set into motion shall be much greater indeed...​

~THE LEGENDARIAN CHRONICLES~
Rise of the Chosen


​

Note:
- LC is and always will be under heavy revision, and my plans for future events change very often. I have provided a tenative Table of Contents, but it is currently incomplete and will likely change as I progress. Not only that, but many of the chapter names are stupid and just there to fill in holes while I think of a real name.


~ Book 1: Initiation~
~Book 2: Rise of the Chosen~
Prologue: Imminence
Chapter 21: Moving On
Chapter 22: The Kanto League
Chapter 23: Preliminary Troubles
Chapter 24: Lugia’s Challenge
Chapter 25: Deliberation
Chapter 26: The Fifth Round
Chapter 27: Preemptive Strike
Chapter 28: Connections and Commanders
Chapter 29: Stalker’s Revenge
Chapter 30: The Second Revolt
Chapter 31: Team Kanto and Team Johto
Chapter 32: Accidental Alliances
Chapter 33: The Legendarian League
Chapter 34: The Hoenn Pacts
Chapter 35: Infiltration
Chapter 36: Deals and Revealings
Chapter 37: Groudon and Kyogre
Chapter 38: The Clash of the Legends
Chapter 39: Descent of the Dragon Lord
Chapter 40: The Eighth Returns
~Book 3: War of the Legends~
~Book 4: The Second Revolution~

~Prologue: Imminence~​

​

Ocean spray shot into the air as the waves struck unmercifully against the seaside cliffs. Violet eyes scanned the surrounding, taking in every aspect of the island with intrigue. A dense layer of fog now obscured the desolate shores along the south side, which were peppered with frayed palms.

Harrowing winds swept against the body of a tall humanoid, distinctly feline in appearance. He gave no notice of the gale and continued to stand rigid on the northern cliff, his only movement an occasional twitch of a thick purple tail. Mew gazed at him curiously, for this was the first time she had brought him to this place. She hovered delicately several yards back, twisting and turning in midair.

<Where is this?>

<Guardian’s Isle,> Mew answered promptly.

Mewtwo turned towards her for a second, and then glanced upward at the towering peak in the center of the island, his eyes following the paths of several figures flying high above.

<Why have I been brought here?> There was a slight edge of annoyance in the telepathic voice.

Mew gave a slight chuckle. Surely he had to have grasped a fuller sense of the situation, especially considering the task he still had yet to accomplish. Having completed it herself over a year earlier, she still found it hard to believe that only three of the Guardians still had sealed their pact, one with disastrous consequences.

She noticed him eyeing her, clearly looking frustrated. Mew turned away, looking out at the sea expectantly. <It’s almost summer…you wouldn’t be able to tell from the looks of this place, though…>

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Mewtwo raise an eyebrow, nonplussed. He didn’t get a chance to respond however, because at that moment the rushing of wings made the two of them look upward. Two immense birds were descending above the island, stirring the trees with each flap. The first to touch down was a brushfire phoenix with rainbow wings; the second was a snowy white bird-dragon.

<The others?> Mew asked.

<Latias wouldn’t come. Can’t say I want to be here myself, really,> Lugia answered uninterestedly.

Mew frowned. <I understand that…but what about Zapdos?>

The avian raised her wings slightly as a sort of shrug. Mew would have found it odd that Lugia was using such a decidedly human motion, but was troubled by her news.

<Zapdos wouldn’t come? It was his idea for us to meet up,> Mew exclaimed incredulously. She didn’t even bother to question Suicune’s absence, but Zapdos’s?

<How should I know why—in any case, you know how he is these days.>

Ho-oh cleared his throat, as if suggesting that everyone focus. It worked, as the only sound afterwards was the continued howling of the wind. “It is no matter. I doubt he requires briefing of the situation, in any case,” the phoenix said, his voice sounding over the gathering, clear and powerful.

<Yeah, too bad he still doesn’t have clue who the hell he’s picking for his Chosen,> Lugia muttered, rolling her eyes.

<That’s why we’re here, though, isn’t it?> Mew interjected. No one disagreed.

“As it is,” Ho-oh started, “Latias and Mew are the only among us who have selected someone.”

Mew thought she heard someone whisper, “You forgot Raikou.”

“Only a few months remain. I hate to admit it, but we are running out of time. What will happen when the time is up and a mere half of us is ready?”

<Are you saying you’ve got one in mind for your Chosen?> Lugia asked, genuinely surprised.

“I’ve had a human in consideration for some time, yes.”

A flicker of expression crossed Lugia’s face—whether it was admiration or skepticism, Mew couldn’t quite tell. Lugia usually gave Ho-oh a general amount of respect. <And the Half-Legend?> she asked with a rather spiteful glance at Mewtwo.

<He is as much a part of this as any of us,> Mew replied matter-of-factly.

Mewtwo bristled. Glaring at Lugia, he said, <If you’re talking about picking a Chosen, then I’ve already got one in mind.>

<So he’s trying to be a “proper” Guardian Legend? I suppose he’d need to be,> Lugia continued, again talking as if he were not present.

<Lugia!> Mew hissed. Mewtwo clenched his paws, tinged with blue aura.

“Enough!” barked Ho-oh. “This isn’t a time for quarreling. Figuring how to go about the task at hand is our only hope.”

<Striking back would have worked were it not for certain last-second intervention,> Lugia said, nodding towards Mew.

Ho-oh shook his head. “Lugia, even I have since acknowledged that our attempts that day were for nothing. The risk was too great…” Mewtwo looked down, obviously still troubled by their having used him to get at the humans.

<You’re wrong…if we had been able to press the attack more…there was no risk!>

<So says the one who was captured.>

Mew and Ho-oh spun towards Mewtwo, stunned that he had said it before immediately turning toward Lugia. The latter went bright red, and looked almost ready to unleash some sort of attack on Mewtwo (who might not have minded a brawl with the avian dragon.) Fuming, Lugia stormed off away from the cliff.

Mewtwo folded his arms. <So mentioning it is taboo now?>

<No one had spoken of it since…> Mew began quietly, glancing over at Lugia. She sighed exasperatedly. <I’ll go talk to her.>

She hovered over; Lugia kept her back turned. Mew contemplated her words for some time before finally speaking.

<Lugia, what on earth are you doing? You’ve been even worse than Suicune lately,> she said, shaking her head.

<What, just because everyone else is trying to find some idiot human to side with?> the dragon-bird retorted.

<You’d do well to accept that, since you know the reasoning as well as any of us. This can’t be all because of what happened last year…>

<I never said it was…> Lugia muttered indignantly. <Although that wouldn’t have even been an issue if you’d have just let me—>

<She was a friend of my Chosen’s, what did you expect?>

<Since when has that mattered? Don’t you realize that I’m trapped now? I’ll have to kill the human eventually, whether now or at summer’s end.>

Mew clenched her teeth, knowing that Lugia was right. <There’s…there’s always the possibility of…>

<What don’t you understand about what happened that day?! That’s not intervention, that’s…that’s—> Lugia couldn’t seem to find the right word.

<No matter what it is, unless you plan on figuring out some other way to handle this, you will have to choose,> Mew said solemnly.

Lugia gave a snide grin. <Not trying to play the protector anymore?>

<It’s not my place to choose your course of action,> Mew remarked with a unusually bitter air to her voice. She turned and hovered away, glancing over her shoulder to see Lugia looking down, obviously troubled. Several seconds later, Lugia called after Mew, <If you’ll help me figure out how to go about it…I might consider…>

Mew held a paw up and then nodded, relieved.

<Don’t forget that there’s still the matter of agreement. Normally that wouldn’t be an issue, but…given the circumstances…> Lugia trailed off.

Mew frowned, realizing what she meant. <I doubt there’s any way to avoid that, but…>

Lugia stared. <So you’ll have me agree to this, only to end up killing the—?>

<Of course not,> Mew snapped. <We’ll figure something out…>

The catlike Pokémon returned to where Ho-oh and Mewtwo were standing and gave a quick glance at the two of them before flying to the cliff’s edge and gazing out at the distant shadow of the mainland on the horizon. Mewtwo slowly walked up behind her, deliberating on what to say.

<What did Lugia say?> he asked.

Mew laughed slightly. <I wouldn’t worry about Lugia if I were you. I’ve known her my whole life and still have a hard time dealing with her.>

Everything was silent; the wind had even calmed down. He glanced from her to the mainland, and then threw a look over his shoulder at the two Legendary birds behind them. <Three more months?>

Mew nodded. <Three more months…>





~End Prologue~
Oosh… >< The Prologue…I dunno whether I’m overestimating or underestimating you guys, but…I’m just hoping the foreshadowing was subtle enough so as to not be painfully obvious.

Also, I think the dialogue was a little too loose, so as to garner a double-take in some areas...meh. I'll edit if enough people dislike it.

~Chibi~;249;;448;

 

[jirachiman876]

I'm not liking the killing sooner or later thing. Luckily as you said before it won't be the main character. *can't remember her name cause he's stupid like that* I'm wondering how this whole chosen thing is supposed to work out. Like the speicifics. o well, we'll find out later won't we.
Well now to the main review of the prolougue. No mistakes. Expected of course. Loved the description. Good dialougue. I guess that's really it. ^^;
jirachiman out ;385;

 

[porygon181]

*dies*

I'm so glad I spammed to get this. This prologue was amazing. I don't want to spoil anything by throwing out random guesses about the future plot, but I think I did catch some stuff all the same.

I really like the focus on the Legends. I think the dialogue was basically perfect - don't bother editing it.

I feel that I can't really string words together into a meaningful post right now. I'm more in the mood to just rant about how exciting it was, what with the Legends, the passing of time, their character dynamics... the list goes on. But I don't wish to bore anyone, so I'll head out for now. Can't wait for the next chapters!!!

 

[indigestible_wad]

<Yeah, too bad he still doesn’t have clue who the hell he’s picking for his Chosen,> Lugia muttered, rolling her eyes.

Put a between have and clue.

Mew and Ho-oh spun towards Mewtwo, stunned that he had said it before immediately turning toward Lugia. The latter went bright red, and looked almost ready to unleash some sort of attack on Mewtwo (who might not have minded a brawl with the avian dragon.) Fuming, Lugia stormed off away from the cliff.

You can't end a sentence in parenthesis. Change it to a comma, or a hyphen if you really want to use exotic punctuation.

All plot bits. Personally I couldn't tell what was foreshadowing and what was reminiscing, but it's been a long time since I've read the first parts of your story.

 

[Knightblazer]

Mysterious, mysterious and MYSTERIOUS. Awesome. xD

Loads of foreshadowing here. Loads of things that seem to happen and all, plus like WOW... ze Chosen! Who will the Chosen be? (Stay tun- *is shot*) ANYWAY. Yeah... well, the dialogue was rather loose, but meh, it still made enough sense for me. xP Plus I like Lugia here. Its cooooollll~

And so, great note to start, and can't wait for the next chapter~!

Knightblazer ;262;

PS: The 'half-legend' is referring to Chibi, right...?

 

[Pkmn Breeder Jack]

Another brilliant work from Chibi!

I really liked this, the dialogue was perfect, don't bother changing it. The way you have the Legends interact is astounding, you make it so real.

I did catch a bit of foreshadowing, but it wasn't blatantly obvious.

Keep up the good work!

Jack ;466;

Edit: GAHHHH!!!!! Post number 666!

 

[Chibi Pika]

I'm wondering how this whole chosen thing is supposed to work out. Like the speicifics. o well, we'll find out later won't we.

Ah, specifics will come, don't worry. Such an important part of the plot can't be kept vague forever.

I feel that I can't really string words together into a meaningful post right now. I'm more in the mood to just rant about how exciting it was, what with the Legends, the passing of time, their character dynamics... the list goes on. But I don't wish to bore anyone, so I'll head out for now. Can't wait for the next chapters!!!

I'm glad you think that, but I had a hard time characterizing the Legendaries. They gave me an idea of what they wanted to say, but I just counldn't put it into words without it sounding awkward. =S As the Legendaries are going to be very major characters from now on, this sort of introduction to them gives brief insight.

You can't end a sentence in parenthesis. Change it to a comma, or a hyphen if you really want to use exotic punctuation.

You know, I still have no idea why I put parentheses there to begin with. I never use them, mainly because I don't know the rules on how. =P

PS: The 'half-legend' is referring to Chibi, right...?

Actually, Lugia was referring to Mewtwo. *evil grin.*

I'm starting to think that they might be rivals in the future. I never planned it that way, but I think they want to be.

I did catch a bit of foreshadowing, but it wasn't blatantly obvious.

Ooh? Do tell, via PM of course. (You too, porygon181.)

~Chibi~;249;;448;

 

[Sike Saner]

Loved the quarreling between Lugia and Mewtwo. Loved it, loved it, loved it. Especially memorable was when Mewtwo called Lugia out on her having gotten captured--ouch, talk about a low blow.

Oh, and...

Mew frowned, realizing what she meant. <I doubt there’s any way to avoid that, but…>

Lugia stared. <So you’ll have me agree to this, only to end up killing the—?>

...Killing the what? o.o Wow... whatever's about to be done by these beings clearly has the potential to produce some VERY serious consequences...

Highlights:

A flicker of expression crossed Lugia’s face—whether it was admiration or skepticism, Mew couldn’t quite tell. Lugia usually gave Ho-oh a general amount of respect. <And the Half-Legend?> she asked with a rather spiteful glance at Mewtwo.

<So he’s trying to be a “proper” Guardian Legend? I suppose he’d need to be,> Lugia continued, again talking as if he were not present.

Damn, she sure was ragging on him there!

Ho-oh shook his head. “Lugia, even I have since acknowledged that our attempts that day were for nothing. The risk was too great…” Mewtwo looked down, obviously still troubled by their having used him to get at the humans.

<You’re wrong…if we had been able to press the attack more…there was no risk!>

<So says the one who was captured.>

But then, Mewtwo got her back!


Again, I loved their less-than-friendly interactions.


So, then. That was certainly a nice start to Book 2. ^^

 

[ForbiddenLugia]

Yip yip! I really liked it, Chibi!
You're getting so good! I'm quite jealous...But that's the natural order of things- you're better than I am, of course. But that's besides the point.

I cannot wait until the next chapter comes out! I am very excited, of course. Things to tell, things to see. People to kill. XD
I loved Mewtwo's little snide comment right there. Lugia, I think, neede that one. She was being mean to poor little Mewtwo! My friend will readily kill Lugia if she really did say that to him. They're a MAJOR rabid Mewtwo fan.
But, the prologue itself looked excelent. so, most of them haven't chosen their Chosen Ones yet? Ooohhhh...three months. Better hurry.

Well, that's all I've got to say because it was somewhat short and I'm lazy. XP Oh well. I'll see you next time! Maybe. If the voices in my head don't give me a headache to type my own story. Haha.

~The Talking Absol, over and out~

 

[J Ripley]

I liked it. It was good to see some conversations between the legendaries and how they feel about each other. It was also nice to have a look at some of the legendaries we haven't heard a lot about like Ho-oh.

I'm eagerly awaiting chapter 21.

 

[ultimate_pokemaster]

Really good, even though there was no action. I like dialogues anyway.
Excellent apparent foreshadowing.I didnt get anything in my head at all.
Never mind, i'll just wait for the next... few chapters.

And an excellent intro for Part 2

 

[Chibi Pika]

...Killing the what? o.o Wow... whatever's about to be done by these beings clearly has the potential to produce some VERY serious consequences...

Awp. This is one of those author moments where I'm reading this post while also having an MSword window open containing the already written chapter that brings everything together. Man, I can't wait until chapter twen—*tackled by Silverwing.*

But, the prologue itself looked excelent. so, most of them haven't chosen their Chosen Ones yet? Ooohhhh...three months. Better hurry.

Ehehe...throughout Part 2, three more Chosens get picked. But towards the end, time starts running out...

I liked it. It was good to see some conversations between the legendaries and how they feel about each other. It was also nice to have a look at some of the legendaries we haven't heard a lot about like Ho-oh.

That's one reason I liked writing this. We''l be seeing into the Legendaries' personalities a lot more in the future.

Really good, even though there was no action. I like dialogues anyway.
Excellent apparent foreshadowing.I didnt get anything in my head at all.
Never mind, i'll just wait for the next... few chapters.

Thanks. The foreshadowing gets resolved in the near future, don't worry.


We now interrupt this post to bring you a rant/conspiracy theory xP

Well this is certainly interesting. Remember awhile back when I was complaining about random monostars? I eventually learned to live with it, and was even a bit flattered because only the great fics were getting monostarred. But just the other day my rating was 4.47, or something. Now it’s 4.14—ain’t that a sucker punch outta nowere? I did the math, and that’s 38 five stars, 2 four stars, 1 three star, and 10 one stars.

I know Yami Ryu claims that she’s the infamous Phantom of the Monostar, but I somehow doubt that she has ten accounts. (Then again, it would be fitting, seeing as she critted Revision 4 to death.)

Usually people monostar 5-star fics to counterbalance the fives, and knock it down to a four, which they think is the rightful rating. Sorta like how some people will counterbalance a one with a five for a new fic that got monostarred out of nowhere. That makes sense, in a roundabout sort of war. But why the hell is a 4-star rated fic getting monostarred? That makes zero sense. *_*

However, I just came up with a ploy that I can’t believe has never happened before. The only fics that get any notice on these boards are fives (for obvious reasons), and ones/twos, because people like to laugh at crap fics. Suppose LC got monostarred into a two or one star average (alright, so that’d take a LOT of one-star ratings)—then I’d get a crapload of new readers wanting to know how a n00bfic got 600+ reviews!!! It’s genius!!! XDDDDDDD

I'm kidding of course, but that would be funny, no?

~Chibi~;249;;448;

 

[Brian Random]

Oh hoo hoo hoo. o.o

Man, there’s some strange and interesting things going on with a number of suspense in the prologue and it was an interesting feud between Mewtwo and Lugia ^^. I have a small hunch of what Mewtwo’s Chosen might be but I won’t say for spoiler reasons. Plus, I’m looking forward to see what each legendary will pick, whether the angry Lugia will kill Jade or not (I hope not because that’s just some bad gratitude for ya) and more action to come. They are what make things interesting.

Spelling mistakes? Unless you want to change the US version of English to the UK version, there isn’t any.

 

[Zephyr Soul]

Crazy Review Time!!!!

It's... crazy review time. I would put that in all capitals, but my hyperness was all used up this morning. (Or maybe not, as you can see in the quote titles.) You see, it all started when I made one of my classmates be a pirate while I was a ninja (we had scarves to look more convincing) and then we'd have a fight TO THE DEATH. But he didn't want to...

Again in the Spoiler tag....

Spoiler: Massive Uber Quotes Of Doom Complete With Titles

Chapter 21: Indigo Awaits
Chapter 22: The Kanto League
Chapter 23:
Chapter 24: Lugia’s Challenge- Ooh, Jade's dead. XD
Chapter 25:
Chapter 26: Connections and Commanders
Chapter 27: Pichu Shocks In
Chapter 28: Stalker’s Revenge- I thought this said 'A Stalker's Revenge' >.>
Chapter 29: A Second Revolt
Chapter 30: Team Kanto and Team Johto
Chapter 31: Accidental Alliances
Chapter 32: The Legendarian League- *imagines Indigo Stadium where you fight Legendaries in really cool battles*
Chapter 33: The Hoenn Pacts
Chapter 34: Infiltration- *imagines a ninja Jade sneaking around a Rocket base*
Chapter 35: Sneak Attack
Chapter 36: Groudon and Kyogre- ...wow. That has the potentil to be EPIC.
Chapter 37: The Clash of the Legends- ...never mind the previous one.
Chapter 38: Descent of the Dragon Lord- WHOA. That title is just... wow. O.O
Chapter 39: Releasing the North Wind
Chapter 40:
Book 3: War of the Legends- Again epic title. And with the promise of many epic battle scenes. I like epic battle scenes.
Book 4: The Second Revolution
Book 5: Return to Legendaria- ...started the second book, and we still don't know what 'Legendaria' means.

Just commenting on some of the titles.

~Prologue: Imminence~[/font]​

Ocean spray shot into the air as the waves struck unmercifully against the seaside cliffs. Violet eyes scanned the surrounding, taking in every aspect of the island with intrigue. A dense layer of fog now obscured the desolate shores along the south side, which were peppered with frayed palms.

Harrowing winds swept against the body of a tall humanoid, distinctly feline in appearance. He gave no notice of the gale and continued to stand rigid on the northern cliff, his only movement an occasional twitch of a thick purple tail. Mew gazed at him curiously, for this was the first time she had brought him to this place. She hovered delicately several yards back, twisting and turning in midair.

I felt the need to quote the opening. It's just so... awesome. Mewtwo's just like 'All your base are belong to ME' and Mew's just like ' *stares curiously*'

...okay, so they're not really like that, but I HAD to put that there. Whenever I get crazy random ideas, I have to put them down.

Anyway, I've always liked Mew and Mewtwo, at first because one's cute and the other freaking awesome. Now it's because of my versions of them. (I'm the only person in history, apparently, to make Mew serious >.> [/rant])

<Why have I been brought here?> There was a slight edge of annoyance in the telepathic voice.

Mew gave a slight chuckle. Surely he had to have grasped a fuller sense of the situation, especially considering the task he still had yet to accomplish. Having completed it herself over a year earlier, she still found it hard to believe that only three of the Guardians still had sealed their pact, one with disastrous consequences.

She noticed him eyeing her, clearly looking frustrated. Mew turned away, looking out at the sea expectantly. <It’s almost summer…you wouldn’t be able to tell from the looks of this place, though…>

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Mewtwo raise an eyebrow, nonplussed.

Ooh, Mew dodged the question there... *imagines Mew doding it in a ninja- like way* ...why am I obsessed with ninjas today?

Ninjas aside, this brings back my question of 'Who's Mewtwo's Chosen?' (I origionally thought it was Jade... >.>) Whoever it is, they'd better be cool and have ninja- skills. (The ninja strikes again. -.-)

He didn’t get a chance to respond however, because at that moment the rushing of wings made the two of them look upward. Two immense birds were descending above the island, stirring the trees with each flap. The first to touch down was a brushfire phoenix with rainbow wings; the second was a snowy white bird-dragon.

I love your descriptions. (Especially 'cobalt falcon' and 'brushfire phoenix') I can never get mine like this... :/

<Latias wouldn’t come. Can’t say I want to be here myself, really,> Lugia answered uninterestedly.

This is where I said to myself, 'Her Lugia's so much different than mine'. I love her, though. XD

Mew frowned. <I understand that…but what about Zapdos?>

The avian raised her wings slightly as a sort of shrug. Mew would have found it odd that Lugia was using such a decidedly human motion, but was troubled by her news.

<Zapdos wouldn’t come? It was his idea for us to meet up,> Mew exclaimed incredulously. She didn’t even bother to question Suicune’s absence, but Zapdos’s?

...why didn't he come? *ponders* ...whoa, he must be MAD. (...as in angry, not insane.)

...don't try to come up with how I reached that. I have complex thought patterns. XD

Ho-oh cleared his throat, as if suggesting that everyone focus. It worked, as the only sound afterwards was the continued howling of the wind. “It is no matter. I doubt he requires briefing of the situation, in any case,” the phoenix said, his voice sounding over the gathering, clear and powerful.

Wow. Ho-oh sure knows how to establish his character. XD

...at first I was wondering the reason behind why he can speak, but then I realized 'He's not Psychic. Duh.'

(PIRATES MUSIC TIME!!!! *imagines ninjas and pirates fighting for a full minute* *comes back*)

“As it is,” Ho-oh started, “Latias and Mew are the only among us who have selected someone.”

Mew thought she heard someone whisper, “You forgot Raikou.”

...looks like someone knows something. Though it's amusing to see that it looks like Ho-oh's talking to himself, since it's in quotations marks and not those weird <> marks. XD *wonders who Raikou chose*

“Only a few months remain. I hate to admit it, but we are running out of time. What will happen when the time is up and a mere half of us is ready?”

<Are you saying you’ve got one in mind for your Chosen?> Lugia asked, genuinely surprised.

“I’ve had a human in consideration for some time, yes.”

A flicker of expression crossed Lugia’s face—whether it was admiration or skepticism, Mew couldn’t quite tell. Lugia usually gave Ho-oh a general amount of respect.

<And the Half-Legend?> she asked with a rather spiteful glance at Mewtwo.

<He is as much a part of this as any of us,> Mew replied matter-of-factly.

Mewtwo bristled. Glaring at Lugia, he said, <If you’re talking about picking a Chosen, then I’ve already got one in mind.>

<So he’s trying to be a “proper” Guardian Legend? I suppose he’d need to be,> Lugia continued, again talking as if he were not present.

<Lugia!> Mew hissed. Mewtwo clenched his paws, tinged with blue aura.[/QUOTE]

....Lugia's dead.

<So says the one who was captured.>

....whoa. Nevermind Lugia, Mewtwo's going to be obliterated by an Aeroblast.

...it was still an awesome thing to say, though. *is killed by Lugia*

Mew and Ho-oh spun towards Mewtwo, stunned that he had said it before immediately turning toward Lugia. The latter went bright red, and looked almost ready to unleash some sort of attack on Mewtwo (who might not have minded a brawl with the avian dragon.) Fuming, Lugia stormed off away from the cliff.

Mewtwo folded his arms. <So mentioning it is taboo now?>

...and so, Mewtwo narrowly escapes death. Or an epic battle... *imagines a scene of Lugia charging Aeroblast and Mewtwo charging Shadow Ball*

<No one had spoken of it since…> Mew began quietly, glancing over at Lugia. She sighed exasperatedly. <I’ll go talk to her.>

She hovered over; Lugia kept her back turned. Mew contemplated her words for some time before finally speaking.

<Lugia, what on earth are you doing? You’ve been even worse than Suicune lately,> she said, shaking her head.

<What, just because everyone else is trying to find some idiot human to side with?> the dragon-bird retorted.

<You’d do well to accept that, since you know the reasoning as well as any of us. This can’t be all because of what happened last year…>

<I never said it was…> Lugia muttered indignantly. <Although that wouldn’t have even been an issue if you’d have just let me—>

...dang you for cutting off sentences. It makes my brain hurt with all the missed plot points. >.> (Though it makes the story all more interesting. XD)

<She was a friend of my Chosen’s, what did you expect?>

<Since when has that mattered? Don’t you realize that I’m trapped now? I’ll have to kill the human eventually, whether now or at summer’s end.>

...*starts digging grave for Jade* Sorry, Jade, but if it comes to siding with either you or a giant, angry, Aeroblast- breathing dragon, I'll pick her.

Mew clenched her teeth, knowing that Lugia was right. <There’s…there’s always the possibility of…>

<What don’t you understand about what happened that day?! That’s not intervention, that’s…that’s—> Lugia couldn’t seem to find the right word.

<No matter what it is, unless you plan on figuring out some other way to handle this, you will have to choose,> Mew said solemnly.

Lugia gave a snide grin. <Not trying to play the protector anymore?>

<It’s not my place to choose your course of action,> Mew remarked with a unusually bitter air to her voice. She turned and hovered away, glancing over her shoulder to see Lugia looking down, obviously troubled. Several seconds later, Lugia called after Mew, <If you’ll help me figure out how to go about it…I might consider…>

Mew held a paw up and then nodded, relieved.

<Don’t forget that there’s still the matter of agreement. Normally that wouldn’t be an issue, but…given the circumstances…> Lugia trailed off.

Mew frowned, realizing what she meant. <I doubt there’s any way to avoid that, but…>

Lugia stared. <So you’ll have me agree to this, only to end up killing the—?>

<Of course not,> Mew snapped. <We’ll figure something out…>

Yay, a conversation between two of my favorite Legendaries. Even though I became confused halfway through it... but I like it anyway.

<What did Lugia say?> he asked.

Mew laughed slightly. <I wouldn’t worry about Lugia if I were you. I’ve known her my whole life and still have a hard time dealing with her.>

Everything was silent; the wind had even calmed down. He glanced from her to the mainland, and then threw a look over his shoulder at the two Legendary birds behind them. <Three more months?>

Mew nodded. <Three more months…>

And so brings an end to the Prologue. I loved it, by the way, and enjoyed Mew's POV throughout the entire thing.

...*sneaks away from the thread like a ninja*

 

[Chibi Pika]

Man, there’s some strange and interesting things going on with a number of suspense in the prologue and it was an interesting feud between Mewtwo and Lugia ^^. I have a small hunch of what Mewtwo’s Chosen might be but I won’t say for spoiler reasons. Plus, I’m looking forward to see what each legendary will pick, whether the angry Lugia will kill Jade or not (I hope not because that’s just some bad gratitude for ya) and more action to come. They are what make things interesting.

Mewtwo’s Chosen has been hinted at, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re not the only one to have an idea.

Man, I can’t wait to resolve the Lugia vs Jade conflict. xD

Chibi Pika, The Awesome Mutant Pikachu Of Doom

Chibi Pika, DESTROYER OF WORLDS

Chibi Pika, T3H 1337 M4ST3R

Chibi Pika, Legendary Writer (ha pun)

Chibi Pika, Everyone's Favorite Emo Zapdos- Pikachu Hybrid

Chibi Pika, Ninja Master (>.> stupid ninjas....)

Chibi Pika, The Pikachu Hybrid That's Too Cool To Evolve Into Raichu

Chibi Pika, Whom I Am Running Out Of Titles For

Chibi Pika, The Titleless

Chibi Pika, Narrowly Escaping Certain Death Writer

Chibi Pika, Master Of The Plot

ChibiPika, Ninja Pirate Extrordinare

xDDDDD I know I say this all the time, but you just won the thread.

Ninja Pirate??? x3 That makes me think of this guy here.

...started the second book, and we still don't know what 'Legendaria' means.

Muahahaha, and you never will!!!! >=D (Just kidding, of course you will, eventually.)

Mewtwo's just like 'All your base are belong to ME' and Mew's just like ' *stares curiously*'

xDDDDDD That has got to be one of the best ways to describe the Prologue.

...why didn't he come? *ponders* ...whoa, he must be MAD. (...as in angry, not insane.)

Lol. Zapdos is way too calm for that.

...looks like someone knows something. Though it's amusing to see that it looks like Ho-oh's talking to himself, since it's in quotations marks and not those weird <> marks. XD *wonders who Raikou chose*

Aahh, now that you’ve said that, I’ll never be able to read that paragraph with a straight face again. x3 For the sake of things, I’ll say that it was Suicune. (Oh noes!)

...dang you for cutting off sentences. It makes my brain hurt with all the missed plot points. >.> (Though it makes the story all more interesting. XD)

Heh, were it not for all the cut off sentences, the next big plot twist would have very little suspense.

...*starts digging grave for Jade* Sorry, Jade, but if it comes to siding with either you or a giant, angry, Aeroblast- breathing dragon, I'll pick her.

Ever read Dragonfree’s “Life of a Character”? If Jade were in that cabin with all the other characters, I think she’d have some choice words about me. ><

And so brings an end to the Prologue. I loved it, by the way, and enjoyed Mew's POV throughout the entire thing.

I found it rather interesting to write from her POV, actually. ^^



My new laptop has Word 2007 on it. It's very awkward to get used to... >< Took me ten minutes just to figure out how to "Save As". xP

~Chibi~;249;;448;

 

[Astinus]

Apologies for not reviewing sooner. (School started. Oy.) And apologies for also not having anything of major importance to say.

A great prologue that revealed more of the legendaries' personalities. I also loved Mewtwo's "below the belt" insult to Lugia about her capture.

*dons teaching robe* Actually, on the sentence that indigestible_wad pointed out with the parenthesis, all you would have to do to make it grammatically correct is move the full stop to the outside of the closing parenthesis. And you can't have a comma before the closing parenthesis. Sorry.

Good luck on getting chapter 21 up. Though perhaps Word 2007 might prove too difficult for you to use.

 

[Chibi Pika]

I figure it's about time I gave you guys a status update, hm? Sorry it's been so long--I got seriously distracted by my discovery that MS Office 07 is the best comic-making tool ever. xP

Alright, I’ve got good news and bad news, but the bad news is mostly confusing/troublesome news and the good news is kind of a mixed bag. =P

Let’s start with the mixed bag. ^^;

Okay, aside from the fact that Chapter 21 sucks teh major monkey balls, I’ve been thinking on ways to improve it, and have come up with a lot of things.

First off, and most importantly, is Jade’s family. Yes, they exist. No, I have not handled them well—anything but well, to be honest. I have taken what we call the LAZY route. But the problem is: by part 2, everything is cool between Jade and her parents. Say what? No conflict? Well, I know how to fix this in Chapter 21 that will make it easier to write. And better yet, I know how to fix this in Part 1 that will…*drumroll*

…make Chapter 11 not suck anymore!

Yes, Chapter 11, the only awesome chapter that sucks. =( Horrid flow and totally choppy and unrealistic transition marred the chapter from being the great turning point it should have been. It will be fixed, though—rest assured. Oh, and the beginning scene with Spencer will be shuffled into Chapter 10. What does Chapter 11 have anything to do with Jade’s family? You shall soon see…


Now…the bad news.

Remember the Dark Crystal? Yeah, that freaky black rock that Jade’s holding onto. Yeah, it’s time you guys know why it’s even in the fic.

Basically, I made it up in Revision 2 because it made an otherwise sucky chapter suddenly very cool and plot-important. (Chapter 7 in Revision 2 was mildly entertaining, as opposed to the retarded mess it was in Revision 1). But I really had no idea why it was there. And then Revision 3 rolled around, and oh God…all the crazy psychotic Legendary plots rolled in.

Ever see my post in the Authors’ Café thread where everyone talked about the crappiness of their old writing? That’s right—I’m talking about TriLugia. The abomination that was the first Pokégod. The three crystals combined gave him ultimate power that embodied all the elements. (Well, they also had powers concerning alternate dimensions, and still do to this day, but that’s another story.) Now what does that sound like? That’s right, Arceus’s Plates. (I made this up in 2003, dammit!) Arceus is in the fic now, and TriLugia is not.

I’m faced with a dilemma. Converting the Crystals’ position in the fic into Plates would just be a lot cleaner and eliminate a lot of needless confliction. Unfortunately, there are sixteen plates, but my fic has fan-made types. Also, sixteen plates coming together? Aside from being stupid, it’s just…cumbersome on the plot. (And completely ruins the Staff of—what, nope, I didn’t say anything!)

But if the Plates exist canonically, why would the Crystals have even come into existence? Explaining this is another issue.

Oh yeah…and originally Mr. Fuji talked to Jade after she took the crystal. To keep him from being such a random character, I’m putting that scene back in (Rewritten of course). Hey, Revision 2 had its merits!

“Chapter 7: The Dread Plate” Oooh…well it would sound cool, in any case. x3

Hey! Maybe the Light Crystal could embody the Normal Type. A seventeenth plate, muhahaha. xDDD Now I’d just need to explain why the Dread, Mind, Light Plates are more significant than the others.

But, but BUT. This just makes the plot reek of Arceus, Arceus, Arceus, and I don’t want readers thinking this fic has an Arceus-centric plot, because it doesn’t. Maybe the crystals are good that way because then, when it’s revealed that “Zomg! Those crystals are actually Plates!” You guys can be “Ah, knew it” and anyone new can be “no wai!” But then I need to make the Dark Crystal Legend rather subtle.

So yah…big changes in store! I see Revision 10 on the horizon, and I hope it’ll give me the jump start I need to finish Chapter 21. At least in the meantime, there’ll be a ton of new content to read. =P

~Chibi~;249;;448;

 

[Pkmn Breeder Jack]

Wow, sounds like a big cahnge you have going. Sounds neat. I'm looking forward to seeing how things play out. Also, I have been wondering what happened to Jade's family.


Jack ;466;

 

[Chibi Pika]

I fixed the Table of Contents and made it ten times less stupid, and I'm now working on Chapter 7 (aaaaand....a little bit of 22, eh heh... ^^)

Oh, and Pkmn Breeder Jack, after going back through some things, I realized that making the Crystals essentially be ex-Plates will affect my fic even less than I thought. Their original intended role of crystals is virtually unchanged, and really shouldn't overlap with your fic at all. So no worries. The additions to Chapter 7 will only clear up the randomness factor.

Oh, and I finally read your Chapter 5, I just need to review, lol. I'll get to it, I just have a crapton of homework to make up today. @_@
Silverwing;249;: The procrastination cycle is reborn. ¬¬

~Chibi~;249;;448;

 

[Pkmn Breeder Jack]

Okay, sounds good. I was worried a bit, but I think we cleared it up. ^^

And thanks for reading chap 5. Review when you overcome your procrastination.


Jack ;466;