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The Life of a Bulbasaur

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Bulbaclaw, Jun 17, 2011.

  1. Bulbaclaw

    Bulbaclaw Hoenn Trainer

    My name is Bulbasaur.

    I hatched in a small family of my kind living in a warm plain full of sunlight. Well, mostly my kind. When I was only a few levels old I was told my father is Ditto. He tricked my family into thinking he was a Venusaur, strong and proud, then left after he found out my mother, Ivysaur, was pregnant. A passing Diglett told us Ditto had done much the same with many other colonies of Pokemon; the latest case was with a wild Charmeleon. Ditto is mostly ashes now, I think.

    My mother Ivysaur taught me about this world. She says humans call this region Kanto. Humans capture Pokemon in small cases known as Pokeballs, then use the Pokemon to battle each other. The humans that fight with Pokemon are know as Trainers. A beginning trainer gets to choose one of three Pokemon for their starter: Charmander, Squirtle, or Bulbasaur.

    It's important, my mother told me, to never get captured in a Pokeball. She says we are a rare Pokemon and that Trainers would be eager to use us to fight. So far, I have only seen one human around our home. It made many marks on a piece of wood it held, but I don't think it spotted me. Hopefully it will never come back here.

    I lay basking in the sun, relishing in the warmth seeping into the bulb on my back. I could feel the bulb growing stronger with the approaching summer. I turned my face towards the sun and slipped into a doze while the plants around me emanated happy glows in the peaceful heat. All was well.

    I felt a subtle shift in the general emotions of the plants around me. They no longer had their lazy bliss about them, but rather a half-formed fear. I could sense their roots trembling, as though they could detect a stranger on the plain. I looked about my surroundings. I could see nothing wrong, yet the plants' continued shivering made me uneasy.

    In the distance, back where my family's nests were, I heard a series of low growls coming from my brethren and then a faint musical noise that I'd never heard before. Through the sparse trees and dense brush, I saw a bright red light. Then a Nidorino's barks erupted from the light source and after a few moments silenced the few Ivysaur that rested there.

    A loud voice reached my ears. "Come, Nidorino!" it yelled, "There is a Bulbasaur hiding here that we must catch for the new trainers!"

    I couldn't understand the strange squeals it used to speak, but the Nidorino apparently understood well enough to reply with a confident roar.

    Then I saw them. It was the same human as before, but this time equipped with several round balls which I could only guess to be Pokeballs. The Nidorino stood at the human's side, looking eager to fight. They saw me.

    "There, Nidorino! Attack, but don't make it faint!" The voice pierced the air like a claw and frightened me. The Nidorino was running towards me, a look of savage hunger on its face. "Tackle!" It slammed into my side, knocking the breath out of me.

    I had never learned to fight; the only attack I knew was a simple tackle that wouldn't have much of an effect on the larger Nidorino. I tried anyway, and rammed as hard and fast as I could into the Nidorino's side.

    I howled with pain as the Nidorino jabbed its horn into my belly. I felt its poison coursing through me, weakening me. I fell to the ground.

    The human's voice sounded faint in my ears; I couldn't discern anything from its garbled speech. I looked blearily at it. My vision was distorted and blurry, but the human appeared to procure a Pokeball. It threw the ball at me.

    All was darkness. There was no light inside. I couldn't hear anything, until a loud 'ding' surrounded and overwhelmed my weakened senses. The ding sounded three times, and then I felt the walls around me solidify, and I knew there was no hope of escape.

    The poison continued to weaken me until suddenly it seemed to seep out of my system. I heard a few notes of music, then a bright white light filled the Pokeball and vanished. No longer did I feel weak, but as though I was restored to my original and perhaps even a greater level of health. Restored as my senses were, the darkness around me became all the more evident, and I felt the first traces of fear. Where was my sun, my plant friends?

    After a time, I realized I could hear bits of the noise outside. It seemed as though I had traveled to a colony of many more humans. I also realized I could sense the consciousnesses of other Pokemon around me, although I couldn't tell if they were in Pokeballs or not.

    I felt a wave of coolness wash over me, and suddenly I was outside and cloaked in red light. The light faded after a moment, leaving me blinking inside of a large room. There were shelves with many strange things on them that could only be the inventions of humans. My mother Ivysaur had told me humans invent strange devices that seem to please them. How I missed her.

    Standing near me and looking as confused as I felt were a Charmander and a Squirtle. We were all too frightened to move or talk. In front of us stood the human who had captured me accompanied by two younger humans. They all appeared to be male, although I had no way to tell for sure. One of the younger humans pointed at the Charmander. The tall human put it back in its Pokeball, and handed the Pokeball to the young human. The other young human laughed and pointed at the Squirtle, who was also put in its Pokeball and handed to the boy.

    I cowered, fearful that I would be put back into the darkness and given to some young human. But the humans ignored me and began to walk away, until one of the younger humans shouted at the other. The two boys released their Pokemon and stood opposite each other in preparation for a fight. The older human sighed and watched them battle.

    The Charmander attacked first, and the two Pokemon exchanged blows until the Squirtle fainted. Recapturing the Squirtle, its owner made an annoyed sound and strode out of the room. Looking pleased, the Charmander and its trainer grinned at each other until they too left the room. The tall human walked towards me.

    I felt the darkness envelop me again.

    Much time has passed now. The tall human lets me out twice a day and feeds me. Every so often, I meet another Squirtle and Charmander until they too are chosen by trainers. The tall human takes less and less interest of me every day. He catches another Bulbasaur every once in a while, and sometimes they are chosen by the young humans, but they never pick me. I think I am not fresh anymore; that is why they don't pick me. I feel my bulb growing weaker, for I don't get enough sunlight every day. My skin has lost its former shine. It's getting harder and harder to feel the emotions of the plants I do come into contact with. They shrink away from me as though I am infected.

    I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss the sun. I want desperately to flee the darkness and never be put in that accursed Pokeball ever again. I don't know how much longer I can survive in this ever-present darkness. It weighs on me like a physical pain. I feel weaker, as though Nidorino's poison is coursing through me again.

    Every so often a pink-haired human comes to look at me. She appears more concerned every visit. Today she is back, and I feel worse than ever. My limbs are stiff and heavy and I can barely summon the energy to eat the food in front of me. I tried to sense a flower's emotions and draw upon its happiness, but its emotions escaped me. The sun is obscured by a swath of clouds today.

    The pink-haired human was talking with my tall captor; they looked grave. She walked towards me with a medical bag and pulled out a needle. She patted me on my weak and shriveled bulb and I felt the needle penetrate my lusterless skin.

    Warmth, blessed warmth crept through my body. I felt my senses dim and a haze creep into my mind. I tried to reach for the flower again, but I couldn't sense it. I tried to open my eyes but couldn't see. My body wasn't responding. A panic flared within me, but it was quickly replaced by a sense of peace and warmth. My senses dimmed so much more; I couldn't feel anything. I slipped into a dark lull and felt my conscious leave the world. There was just blissful nothingness.

    Nothing. Dark nothing. But the darkness was not unpleasant. I was at peace.
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2011
  2. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    I quite enjoyed this story - 'twas well told imo. You described the human 'world' from the Bulbasaur's eyes nicely and the ending was certainly well written and moving for me. I particularly liked the additions of the bulbasaur mention how he absorb sunlight and how the lack of that eventually led to his death, and the interaction between it and other plants was a neat feature too. The idea of a Ditto going about doing that was also interesting and the mention of levels ('few levels old') - overall the world you wrote up there was well created.

    The main thing I noticed that could be improved I suppose is a tendency to repeat some phrases/words - for instance:
    The bolded phrase was repeated in two consecutive paragraphs - it's minor but still a touch noticeable so I suggest changing it up some more.
    This sentence sounded a bit odd to me, although I can see what is being said - maybe a bit of rewording would be something to consider though.
    Another nitpick would be I suppose how he may have understood the human (given the command shouted it in english for us) but not the Nidorino, although maybe I am over-thinking this. I'd suggest though changing either the comma to a full stop or 'There' to 'there' (so to treat it fully as one sentence or two sentences). I suppose another nitpick would be 'how come Bulbasaur got poisoned' given it is also a poison type (which by the games makes it 'immune' to poison iirc) but it made sense for the story imo at any rate, and that's the important thing.

    I'll also note here that I liked how when the starting trainer scene occurred the second trainer seemed rather confident and chose the Pokemon with a type advantage followed by them battling and the former trainer winning - maybe I read too much into it but was it a reference to the games with Red/Gary...?

    Another instance where the same phrase turned up twice close to each other - changing one (the person, etc) for instance would fix that.
    And the same here - stating 'today' twice also feels a bit needless.

    Overall though I certainly enjoyed this - it was an interesting story to have as one's 1st/2nd post on the forum, methinks. XD
  3. Legend of Lucario

    Legend of Lucario Songwriter

    *cracks neck*

    I love being one of the first reviewers, it gives me hope that I'll actually follow something haha!

    I have to say that I enjoyed this very much! You know, I love it when people change my perspective on things, because I look at the Pokemon World in such a peaceful way! It really shows what a starter pokemon is really going through, or the possibility anyways.

    Is it right to place the blame on the "human captor" for the horrible state of bulbasaur, I mean, someone who gives away pokemon should really know that it needs sunlight to thrive, or could it just be that bulbasaur became detached, it's just amazing to me the things you can do with pokemon, which is why pokemon fanfics are my favorite!

    Don't hate me, I'm sure that was just a typo!

    But I did like it! Is this just a one-shot or is this going to keep going, regardless I think you'll write some good great stuff here on Serebii!
  4. Bulbaclaw

    Bulbaclaw Hoenn Trainer

    Ah, thank you so much for your reviews! This is my first ever fic, so I wasn't sure how it would turn out. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    bobandbill, I appreciate your pointing out my grammar mistakes because it was around 3 A.M. when I wrote this so I was bound to miss a few things... Although the tall human epithet was on purpose. I did it so people would understand I was talking about the same human. And yes, that was a reference to Gary and Ash (or Red and Blue, whatever). Haha. Nobody picks Bulbasaur 'cept me!

    Legend of Lucario, yes, this was a one-shot but I have plans to write a longer fic about a Bulbasaur and a Cyndaquil that will be based on the Mystery Dungeon series. Still gotta work out some plot details there.

    Anyways, thank you so much for the comments (I didn't think anyone would actually read it xD ) and I will fix the grammar errors as soon as I have some time. Thank you thank you thank you!
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2011
  5. [Imaginative]:[Clockwork]

    [Imaginative]:[Clockwork] X-treme trainer

    You sort of switch around between whether or not you capitalize species' names.

    I think that "traveled" only has one L, although I'm not 100% sure on that.

    EDIT: Apparently that's just an American thing. My bad. ;)


    Anyway, I really enjoyed this. Some of my favorite stories are the ones where emotions are the central point of the story and the plot serves to make the main character experience a wider range of them, which I think is what you were going for here. One thing I think that could have been improved is maybe diving a little deeper into the Bulbasaur's emotions. You mention that he misses his old life but it's mostly on the surface and I think that exploring exactly what he misses could have added some depth.

    Also, I was wondering exactly how he felt after being passed up by trainers time and time again. Initially, he's relieved not to be picked, but does he continue to feel that way? I don't know, it just felt a little odd to mention that and then not describe what he thought about the whole situation.

    Other than that, though, I thought you did an excellent job with what could have been a pretty dry narrative. The way you described being in a Pokeball (the walls solidifying, it apparently being warm inside) was vivid with only a few words and I'd have to imagine you nailed what it would feel like. The little Red/Green cameo was especially nice since I love things like that (and since, of course, Charmander was the obvious choice when beginning the game XD ).

    Overall, very good job. Like I said, the one thing that's missing is just more emotion. Feelings about the people around him, relationships with the other starter Pokemon, or even a stronger foundation with his mother could have improved an already wonderful story. I hope you get some more fics posted soon. :]
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2011

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