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The Lone Dragon's Poke Poems!

Hi there! Poetry fans will love this thread.
I'm starting to write poms about pokmon, especially legendaries!
Check out my first poem:
Articuno

Do you love your island?
Your Seafoam Island home.
The cold water & icy cave echo
Must make you feel alone.

You fly a separated sky,
Waiting for a friendly call.
But no sound is heard but yours;
Silently, watch your snow fall.

Your only hope is the mountain;
A hopeful homeward bound.
Happily, lend your frosted wing
You guide the strangers out here back down.
 

Munchlax3000

ooo, what's cooking?
*clap clap clap*
very good dudette (bleh, sounds so wrong dude!)
nice poetry, can u try mew next, and the sad and lonely tale of mewtwo's life.

P.S. Can we PM u our own poems so u can post um here?
 

Psychic

Really and truly
Meh, it was...okay.

But really, a rhyming poem isn't always a "better" poem, and it should never be thought of as thus.

A rhyme can make a poem sound cute, but it doesn't add much, In some cases it can help the rhythm, but here the rhymes aren't all constant, and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. The rhythm itself isn't very good either, especially in the last paragraph where the last part just dragged on doggedly. The last line of both the last and middle stanza don't go with the rest and sound strange. :/

In what it says...well, there isn't much of a message in it. All it does is say "oh Articuno, you like to be alone on your island, sometimes helping out those on your beloved mountain". Nothing profound, just a basic description of what the bird does. And yet, Articuno is so beautiful! How can you not describe it's grace and elegance, the way its icy feathers gleam in the early morning sun?
I see no harm in doing so.


But anyways, it certainly wasn't bad. It was a cute read, airy, but not light. Felt heavy on my tongue as I read it, as it wasn't so smooth. The wording was nice, and at some points there was a nice mental picture- good visualization.
You certainly have the ideas in your head, but I think you have some trouble expressing them. I would advise you don't limit yourself by forcing yourself to rhyme. Poetry is hard enough on its own, but making it rhyme...is just a bit useless.




Munchlax3000 said:
nice poetry, can u try mew next, and the sad and lonely tale of mewtwo's life.

P.S. Can we PM u our own poems so u can post um here?
She didn't ask for suggestions. Don't hassle her. Seriously, don't. Because asking her to write a poem on Mew is like asking a writer to put your character in their fic. Which is kinda not allowed, and is being awfully rude. If you wanna see a poem on Mew, write it yourself.


And if you have a poem POST IT YOURSELF. Don't ask other people to do it for you. That's just as lazy as asking someone to write something for you. -_-
Really, just leave the poor authors alone, you crazy tart. Or lazy tart. :/

Go read some rules, you tart.
...TART.



Yeah, *Silver Pheonix-Dragon*, just ignore people like Munchlax over there. Unless you actually want suggestions on what to write...just don't.


Meh, keep up the nice work, and think about what I said. ^^

~Psychic
 

Pink Parka Girl

I wish I could change my username
But really, a rhyming poem isn't always a "better" poem, and it should never be thought of as thus.

Apologies for disagreeing here, Psychic, but freeform isn't better, either. >.> Poetry eliteism either way is frigging annoying to me. In the creative writing class I took in my first semester of college, where everyone else was writing freeform poetry, I tried to write rhyming poetry. I got flamed, slammed, and flat out told my work sucks by my classmates because they were "traditional styled poems." The author here shouldn't be given a hard time just because she decided to use rhyme. In fact, in defense, rhyming poetry is harder for me, at least, to pull off than freeform poetry, because there's a structure to follow, and because it's hard to come up with rhymes that don't turn out to be clunkers (for example: "I had a bonny girlfriend, She's one I used to love. Her skin was oh so pale, as pale as a dove."). Who cares that she didn't talk about Articuno's magesty and used rhyme? Maybe that wasn't the point of the work. :) Maybe it was just supposed to be fluffy and cute - that was the whole point of the rhyming Pokemon Alphabet Poem I posted here not too long ago, and *Silver Pheonix-Dragon* could have the same idea :)

However, *Silver Pheonix-Dragon*, you need to keep a consistant rhythm. As Psychic said, the ending lines of some of your stanzas sound weird. And it's important to keep to a syllable scheme - if your first line had a certain amout of syllables in it, your third line should follow this (since these are four line stanzas, the second and fourth lines should also have the same amount of syllables to keep the rhythm - unless, of course, you want to go for a first/second third/fourth arrangement, which can be harder to have sound right :) ). While it doesn't NEED any "deeper meaning" to be effective, it could use more work stylistically so that it comes off the tongue and provides rhythmic pleasure :)

Poetry is hard enough on its own, but making it rhyme...is just a bit useless.

I'll go tell Dr. Seuss, one of the great masters of rhyme. Oh, and TS Elliot, Dylan Thomas, and a great deal more of the talented "artsy poets" out there who have written poems that rhyme. -_- I'll even tell Shakespere himself. ;)

Apologies again for disagreeing, but that comment especially really made me kinda mad :(
 
To all who have posted so far, I thank you for your input.

Munchlax3000:
i'm sorry, but this is not a request thread. I've thought long about the matter should I have other people post with me? My answer is no.
Thoguht i'm glad you enjoy my first poem, I am not at liberty to write on a topic someone else wants. This is my poetry thread; not yours. I amgoing to write a mew poem, but not currently, as I type this.

Psychic:
I do thank you for the criticism. several things you said have troubled me. For this poem, you wanted a beautiful discription of Articuno;however, this is my thread, and my way of poetry is different. Plus, many people see the beauty of the wonderful poke. I resticted myself 4 stanzas for this poem ONLY, and I wished to wrtite about a specific subject, which i will reveal after i write a peom for Zapdos and Moltres respectively. I understand that i must put a certain beat to a poem, thus I thank you again. Poems either have hyming or do not. i chose rhyming for this particular poem, for I let the "rhythm" flow through me as I wrote it.
I also would tell you more about the other poems I shall write, but I cannot go into huge detail. I base my poetry off of the game pokedex readings on Serebii.net, a certain subject acquainted with a group—legendaries specifically— and the particular places they are located in the games. I do not like how they let Ash see every legendary every f*** time in the anime, so I stick with what i know.

Pink Parka Girl:
I welcome your review too. I was chllenged to rhyming too, while write my Zapdos poem right now. As I typed beforhand, I will try to give it an actual rhythm. actully, I felt like i had a rhythm while reading my poem, but maybe I was wrong. i wanted to keep my rhyming to the second and fourth stanza only, not first and second while third and fourth,er what ever.

Thanks fo your input and i hope you enjoy my successive poetry!
 

Psychic

Really and truly
Pink Parka Girl said:
Apologies again for disagreeing, but that comment especially really made me kinda mad :(
*holds up hands*
First off, before I say anything else, I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with people disagreeing with me. Shocker, I know, but I’m not the sort of person who forces their beliefs onto other people, and despite what my sig may say, I don’t think everything I say is 100% right or that I should be worshiped.
I may be a reviewer, but that doesn’t mean people can’t disagree with me and tell me I’m wrong. I can’t only give my opinions, of course, as a reviewer I have to be unbiased and all, so though a lot of what I say is only an opinion, I do state facts. But I try not to make people think that my opinions are facts.

I’m sorry to have angered you with my review, though. I’m not a profession reviewer, and poetry is certainly not my forte, so I most certainly can be wrong in many of my points.



Pink Parka Girl said:
Apologies for disagreeing here, Psychic, but freeform isn't better, either.
No worries, and no offences took.

But I never said freeform was better. I just think – and so do most people – that it is easier than forcing a rhyme upon the poem. It takes more effort, but it doesn’t take anything away from a poem.



Pink Parka Girl said:
>.> Poetry eliteism either way is frigging annoying to me. In the creative writing class I took in my first semester of college, where everyone else was writing freeform poetry, I tried to write rhyming poetry. I got flamed, slammed, and flat out told my work sucks by my classmates because they were "traditional styled poems."
I learned exactly about this the day before I read the poem. I’m in a sort of after-school-during-school Literary…Writing…thing, and the teacher in charge of it was saying just that. Nowadays rhyming is frowned upon and all that, can’t remember the exact reasons given, I’m afraid, but I know what you’re talking about.

This ‘eliteism’, however, is something I don’t really know. But then again, I’ve never been an active poet, or a poet of any kind. I can only review fan poetry because I’ve learned how to review fanfiction.
Might not be exactly the same, or similar at all, but I’m not an idiot. I do have SOME idea what I’m talking about, as I am not a newbie to this forum, or to reviewing. Two years. Count them. Two years here. Might not sound like a lot, but you’d be surprised how much one can learn.



Pink Parka Girl said:
The author here shouldn't be given a hard time just because she decided to use rhyme. In fact, in defense, rhyming poetry is harder for me, at least, to pull off than freeform poetry, because there's a structure to follow, and because it's hard to come up with rhymes that don't turn out to be clunkers (for example: "I had a bonny girlfriend, She's one I used to love. Her skin was oh so pale, as pale as a dove.").
Who should be offended here? Really, you just repeated what I said, but disagreed. Maybe I was unclear, but I meant that I prefer to avoid rhyming because it’s harder than freeform in more ways than one.

And I don’t want to give anyone a hard time. I can be harsh and blunt, yes, but I’m not out to make others feel bad just to boost my own self-esteem.


I am not that kind of person.



Pink Parka Girl said:
Who cares that she didn't talk about Articuno's magesty and used rhyme? Maybe that wasn't the point of the work. :) Maybe it was just supposed to be fluffy and cute - that was the whole point of the rhyming Pokemon Alphabet Poem I posted here not too long ago, and *Silver Pheonix-Dragon* could have the same idea :)
I’m not forcing anyone to change their work to my own desires. If she doesn’t want to talk about one thing, than that’s fine by me. I’m not one of those n00b reviewers who demand that “u gotta putt in an flygone in to ur storee! THAT WIL MAEK IT S0000 MCH BETERR!”

If she wants it to be cute, that’s perfectly fine. Nobody ever said every poem has to be deep and descriptive and all that. It was a suggestion. That’s what reviewers do. Suggest ways to help the author.
And in the cases where writers don’t want help, well, that’s their own problem.
Even if they can get banned for it.



Pink Parka Girl said:
I'll go tell Dr. Seuss, one of the great masters of rhyme. Oh, and TS Elliot, Dylan Thomas, and a great deal more of the talented "artsy poets" out there who have written poems that rhyme. -_- I'll even tell Shakespere himself. ;)
You know, I’m not putting down every person who has rhymed.

I was probably unclear, so I’ll rephrase:
The way I see it, making a poem rhyme doesn’t add much to it. It doesn’t improve the quality.
Of course, if it rhymes there was clearly a lot more thought and effort put into it. I do find that impressive, I won’t lie.

And truth be told, though Seuss has always…well, I never really liked his works. And I haven’t read much TS Elliot (though maybe a poem or two, I’m not sure) and I don’t think I've ever heard of Dylan Thomas.
But I adore Shakespeare.

If I didn’t adore him, I wouldn’t be dressing in all rags and putting on fake boils and gross stuff for my upcoming role in Macbeth.


Isn’t it fitting that I play the ‘head’ witch?






*Silver Pheonix-Dragon* said:
Psychic:
I do thank you for the criticism.
I do thank you for have any form of appreciation for it.
And no, that is not sarcasm- too many reviews have gone ignored, flamed, bashed, or generally thrown back in my face. It can be quite frustrating.



*Silver Pheonix-Dragon* said:
several things you said have troubled me. For this poem, you wanted a beautiful discription of Articuno;however, this is my thread, and my way of poetry is different.
No, that isn’t what I wanted. Everyone is misinterpreting. Allow me to quote myself:
myself said:
And yet, Articuno is so beautiful! How can you not describe it's grace and elegance, the way its icy feathers gleam in the early morning sun?
I see no harm in doing so.
I am in no way demanding to see a physical description of Articuno. I am merely suggesting that describing it would do no harm, and in fact, it could greatly benefit the poem.
Strong visualization is always nice in poetry,

If you don’t want to do what I say, I have no objections. Other than the ‘it could help’ objection, that is. I understand that it isn’t my poem. Why else would I have told that kid off? I’ve been here long enough, and I understand that people can be protective and defensive over their stuff.

Besides, that’s how I am. It’s the way I am, programmed into my personality. Honestly, when my friend bunnied my RPG character, I exploded at him. We were in a fight for a week. And I’m still mad at him because he doesn’t understand the fact that my characters are my babies, and I hate it when they are taken away from me.

If you can stand up for yourself and tell people ‘no’, then I respect you. That is exactly what you should be doing, and that’s what I always tell people.
I’m not as blind as you think.



*Silver Pheonix-Dragon* said:
Plus, many people see the beauty of the wonderful poke.
I don’t quite know what you mean here, but I assume it’s along the lines of ‘everyone knows about its beauty, I don’t need to remind them’. If such is the case, then you should look around the forum more. Because even though we know ‘Yeah, Spinarak is green and looks like a spider’ there’s no harm in reminding the readers. Plus a lot of people may forget about that is only has six legs which are striped yellow and black, or about the white horn on its head or its red pincers. Plus you can set a mood through description, not just of surroundings or the weather, but of Pokémon. Spinarak can be described as some trainer’s most loyal Pokémon, as a sweet and friendly little thing or a gross ugly monster that you would never want to run into.

Just a little fyi. *winks*



*Silver Pheonix-Dragon* said:
I resticted myself 4 stanzas for this poem ONLY, and I wished to wrtite about a specific subject, which i will reveal after i write a peom for Zapdos and Moltres respectively.
Fine, that’s your decision, and you have a right to it.

But may I be so bold as to point out that the poem only has three stanzas?



*Silver Pheonix-Dragon* said:
I understand that i must put a certain beat to a poem, thus I thank you again. Poems either have hyming or do not. i chose rhyming for this particular poem, for I let the "rhythm" flow through me as I wrote it.
I know you’re being honest about that last part, and I respect you for saying it, but either way, that’s just a really corny, cheesy and even cliché line.
*laughs dryly* Not that I’m not guilty of using clichés or anything. But that one…I’m sorry, it just made me giggle.
I’m sorry, but you should know that it’s the truth.

Anyways, your poem, your style, your ideas. Nobody is going to force you to change, and whoever does should be ashamed of themselves.



*Silver Pheonix-Dragon* said:
I do not like how they let Ash see every legendary every f*** time in the anime, so I stick with what i know.
I wholeheartedly agree.

But everyone knows the cannon is extremely fu- er, messed up. And a lot of people, including me, got really angry with the whole Articuno being ‘owned’ thing.
And yes, apparently in the non-dubbed version, that Frontier dude actually owned Articuno.

The cannon has gone to waste, and Ash has become the luckiest trainer alive. He’s seen just about every Legendary, he has stalkers that bug him at least once a day (Team Rocket DO stalk him) and just generally…argh.




On a closing note, I had started writing this reply awhile ago, but was only motivated to finish it upon receiving your PM.

I guess this means that though my review is appreciated, you won’t be changing anytime soon. *not sure what to make of this* You have your own style, you know exactly what you’re doing, and it isn’t as if it’s horrible. I can respect that. I do respect it. But nobody ever said that listening and considering what your reviews say is going to kill you.


*shrugs* I’ll stay updated, and I await the poem you’ll turn up with next.


~Psychic
 
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