So, uh, I rolled out of bed and decided to do a mass edit on this. I wrote it like two years ago, and pulled it out of my hard drive because I was insanely bored. *shrug* and that one-shot contest is going on and I totally suck at one-shots, so I figured I'd best use one I already have. I tried revamping Sincerely, Feebas, but stream-of-thought blurby things just aren't as good revamped, IMO. In my case, anyway. So now you can suffer through this.
So, yeah. When I wrote this, this kind of stuff was rampant. It doesn't really apply as much as it did, but I guess the principle still holds true.
So, take it for what it is and please, do enjoy.
Oh! And much credit to Irony-chan for the idea.
----
So, yeah. When I wrote this, this kind of stuff was rampant. It doesn't really apply as much as it did, but I guess the principle still holds true.
So, take it for what it is and please, do enjoy.
Oh! And much credit to Irony-chan for the idea.
----
A is for Ash
Who ten years from now
Will be buff and handsome
(Please don’t ask how)
And whether Misty or May
We know for sure
It’s his daughter’s turn now
For journeys galore
B is for Blaze
A charmander of legends
But he’s not one lizard
He’s more like seven
Or several hundred
It must be confusing
To be battling another
Which Blaze is losing?
C is for Claire
Who was walking one day
When an injured pokemon
Happened her way
Joy came to her with the thought
Of having this pokemon not having fought
She rushed to the center, heedless of care
And had her license revoked when she arrived there.
D is for Dana
A very strange trainer
Unlike the others, everyone hates her
Her hair is not blonde, legs are not straight
She runs away to change her fate
Along with a pokemon
(And without certification)
This anti-sue will plague the nation
E is for Eevee
Who’s sick of this land
They’re tired of always being
At some sue’s right hand
When he makes an appearance
And sees readers shudder
He could only wish they’d
Been born another
F is for Flora
A morph on the run
Her name fits her sunflora blood
She’ll win over Rockets, passing each test
She’ll be loved by some
Hated by the rest
Page after page, breath after breath
This fic will go on ‘til the author’s death
G is for Geoff
Who finds it quite funny
That he can shove in his backpack
A years’ worth of money
Some CDs, some scissors
The kitchen sink, too
I guess a U-Haul
Is coming with you
H is for Hannah
And she can’t keep quiet
An abusive trainer
Makes her riot
All this righteous talking
‘Bout what not to do
Might make the reader
Want to run to the loo
I is for Inari
A new trainer is she
Like, totally kawaii!
It’s a cross-culture spree
Complete with ‘Konbonwa’
And even a ‘Hai’
Hopefully, next
She’ll learn ‘goodbye’
J is for Judy
Who knows she is great
Her fics are amazing
Out of five? An eight!
But when she uploads
Her latest Sue
She’ll be starting a war
After the first review
K is for Koby
The poor central guy
In one of those parodies
That burn out the eyes
No spelling or grammar
A poorly planned plight
Even satire has boundaries
Please, know how to fight
L is for Lena
Her starter, it’s true
Was none other than
You guessed it—mew!
With her fire-red eyes
Hair silver like a rhino
It’s weird to think
That the girl is albino
M is for Mew
Who begs you, please
Leave me to slumber
Do leave me at ease!
I’m not someone’s pet
Nor a happy little toy
With legendary powers
I’m built to destroy
N is for Nick,
Who proudly annoys.
Every bit of canon
He refuses to employ
Mews roam the streets
Dexter won’t be quiet
And as the pokemon talk
Reviewers riot
O is for Oliver
Who started out late
Yes, some years have passed
He’s now twenty-eight
The professor looks on
With a pitiful hunger
He has no idea
He’ll lose to those younger
P is for Polly
With a flip of her hair
She has the guys drooling
And the author doesn’t care
She’ll prance around
in very much glory
This is, you remember,
A pokemon story
Q is for Quagsire
Who too has a complaint
He’s been written off
And is frankly ashamed
He’s a fine, good pokemon
Who’s immune to spark
Can everyone please stop
Leaving him in the dark?
R is for Ruby
The girl, not the game
Though according to her title,
They’re on in the same
She has her own chronicle
Many times over
And is forced to be
A forgotten holdover
S is for Steve
Who just got a power
That lets him become
A pokemon shower
One after the other
With very much ease
Who though that shape-shifting
Was such a breeze?
T is for Tula
Who has some cool gear
It can hold so many ‘mon
I can’t fit the numeral here
But it seems quite odd
With hardly four hundred found
You’d have some need
For that many pokemon around
U is for Uma
A militant shipper
Who flames anyone
Who doesn’t agree wit’er
Wrong pairing? Uh-oh!
Here she comes now
I can’t believe you dared
To call Misty a cow
V is for Vulpix
Who is near going crazy
With how many authors
Are so close-minded and lazy
This poor little fox
Is so tired out
When she see a vulpix
Even she wants to shout
W is for Walter
A cute little lad
Who’s been going to school
So he’s late a tad
But here I ask
Something I truly can’t get
How do you learn ‘bout pokemon
When you don’t have one yet?
X is for Xandy
A growlithe of sorts
Who acts like a human
And one’s name he sports
A pokemon is not
A human in new skin
I’d say characterization is good
Going out on a whim
Y is for Yvonne
Who won’t catch rattata
The former’s too good
For the weak little latter
No caterpie or birds
No nirdoran, it seems
One has to wonder
How this girl builds a team
Z is for Zach,
Who looked up at the screen
He hates sues so much,
He understands what I mean
The creatures are degrading
They send him into a fit
Unless, you see,
It’s him writing the fic
Who ten years from now
Will be buff and handsome
(Please don’t ask how)
And whether Misty or May
We know for sure
It’s his daughter’s turn now
For journeys galore
B is for Blaze
A charmander of legends
But he’s not one lizard
He’s more like seven
Or several hundred
It must be confusing
To be battling another
Which Blaze is losing?
C is for Claire
Who was walking one day
When an injured pokemon
Happened her way
Joy came to her with the thought
Of having this pokemon not having fought
She rushed to the center, heedless of care
And had her license revoked when she arrived there.
D is for Dana
A very strange trainer
Unlike the others, everyone hates her
Her hair is not blonde, legs are not straight
She runs away to change her fate
Along with a pokemon
(And without certification)
This anti-sue will plague the nation
E is for Eevee
Who’s sick of this land
They’re tired of always being
At some sue’s right hand
When he makes an appearance
And sees readers shudder
He could only wish they’d
Been born another
F is for Flora
A morph on the run
Her name fits her sunflora blood
She’ll win over Rockets, passing each test
She’ll be loved by some
Hated by the rest
Page after page, breath after breath
This fic will go on ‘til the author’s death
G is for Geoff
Who finds it quite funny
That he can shove in his backpack
A years’ worth of money
Some CDs, some scissors
The kitchen sink, too
I guess a U-Haul
Is coming with you
H is for Hannah
And she can’t keep quiet
An abusive trainer
Makes her riot
All this righteous talking
‘Bout what not to do
Might make the reader
Want to run to the loo
I is for Inari
A new trainer is she
Like, totally kawaii!
It’s a cross-culture spree
Complete with ‘Konbonwa’
And even a ‘Hai’
Hopefully, next
She’ll learn ‘goodbye’
J is for Judy
Who knows she is great
Her fics are amazing
Out of five? An eight!
But when she uploads
Her latest Sue
She’ll be starting a war
After the first review
K is for Koby
The poor central guy
In one of those parodies
That burn out the eyes
No spelling or grammar
A poorly planned plight
Even satire has boundaries
Please, know how to fight
L is for Lena
Her starter, it’s true
Was none other than
You guessed it—mew!
With her fire-red eyes
Hair silver like a rhino
It’s weird to think
That the girl is albino
M is for Mew
Who begs you, please
Leave me to slumber
Do leave me at ease!
I’m not someone’s pet
Nor a happy little toy
With legendary powers
I’m built to destroy
N is for Nick,
Who proudly annoys.
Every bit of canon
He refuses to employ
Mews roam the streets
Dexter won’t be quiet
And as the pokemon talk
Reviewers riot
O is for Oliver
Who started out late
Yes, some years have passed
He’s now twenty-eight
The professor looks on
With a pitiful hunger
He has no idea
He’ll lose to those younger
P is for Polly
With a flip of her hair
She has the guys drooling
And the author doesn’t care
She’ll prance around
in very much glory
This is, you remember,
A pokemon story
Q is for Quagsire
Who too has a complaint
He’s been written off
And is frankly ashamed
He’s a fine, good pokemon
Who’s immune to spark
Can everyone please stop
Leaving him in the dark?
R is for Ruby
The girl, not the game
Though according to her title,
They’re on in the same
She has her own chronicle
Many times over
And is forced to be
A forgotten holdover
S is for Steve
Who just got a power
That lets him become
A pokemon shower
One after the other
With very much ease
Who though that shape-shifting
Was such a breeze?
T is for Tula
Who has some cool gear
It can hold so many ‘mon
I can’t fit the numeral here
But it seems quite odd
With hardly four hundred found
You’d have some need
For that many pokemon around
U is for Uma
A militant shipper
Who flames anyone
Who doesn’t agree wit’er
Wrong pairing? Uh-oh!
Here she comes now
I can’t believe you dared
To call Misty a cow
V is for Vulpix
Who is near going crazy
With how many authors
Are so close-minded and lazy
This poor little fox
Is so tired out
When she see a vulpix
Even she wants to shout
W is for Walter
A cute little lad
Who’s been going to school
So he’s late a tad
But here I ask
Something I truly can’t get
How do you learn ‘bout pokemon
When you don’t have one yet?
X is for Xandy
A growlithe of sorts
Who acts like a human
And one’s name he sports
A pokemon is not
A human in new skin
I’d say characterization is good
Going out on a whim
Y is for Yvonne
Who won’t catch rattata
The former’s too good
For the weak little latter
No caterpie or birds
No nirdoran, it seems
One has to wonder
How this girl builds a team
Z is for Zach,
Who looked up at the screen
He hates sues so much,
He understands what I mean
The creatures are degrading
They send him into a fit
Unless, you see,
It’s him writing the fic
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