The Mysterious Island

[Night Avenger]

I've decided to write a fic which I'll not abandon. Please, please don't close it...
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Prologue:
John was a young man that had dedicated his life to the study of extinct Pokémon. Now he was getting ready for a trip to Kanto where lots of fossils have been seen in the last months.
-Hey John!- said an old man.- What are you waiting for?
-Nothing, I just have to pack the camera!- John answered.- Hey, what are you taking Bruce?
-Only food, and my pokémon.- answered the old man.
-And you Zack?
-Well, I'm bringing picks, brushes and my Pokémon too.
-Rai rai!- said Zack's Raichu.
-San, san sandslash!- replied Bruce's Sandslash.
-All aboard!!- said Captain Lancaster with his Swampert.
-Swam!
-Espeon, peon!- said John's Espeon.
At the boat all the sailors were playing cards or training their Poliwraths.
-Poli! Poliwrath!- said one as he knocked out a Machoke with a Dynamic Punch.
At the paleontoligist's suite, everyone were talking about the fossils and the adventure of being in Kanto.
-I've heard that they have discovered a way of reviving fossils!- Zack said.
-Imagine what it would be, to have an Aerodactyl in front!- replied Bruce.
-I think that if we didn't know that he was extinct, the feeling should be the same as being in front of a Charizard.- said John. His cup floated and the coffee jar too, more coffee was served in his cup.- Thanks, Espeon.
-Espi!
-Swam! Swampert!- the Swampert suddenly entered the room, really scared.
-What? What's going on Swampert?
The Swampert took everyone outside of the room, into the foggy night. A black enormous shade in the night. The boat was going to fast.
-Everybody, report here!- shouted Captain Lancaster. Suddenly lots of sailors, came out of their cabins.
-Sir, reporting sir!- said all of them in a chorus.
-OK, turn the boat to starboard!
-Yes, sir!
Some people entered the control room. Suddenly a sailor appeared infront of the captain.
-Sir, we're going to fast, we're going to collide.
-What? Everybody, to the safeboats!
All the tripulation entered the save boats in an instant, the only ones in the boat were the captain and the three paleontologists.
-Go Scizor!- said John.
-Go Hypno!- said Bruce.
-Go Mightyena!- said Zack.
-Go Flygon!- said Captain Lancaster.
-Now, all of you! Come here, we've released you so you wont fall into the ocean in your pokeballs, prepare for a collision in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...- said Captain Lancaster as the boat violently collided in a beach.
-Oh, this is serious.- said Captain Lanaster, looking at one side of the boat.
-What? What happened?- asked John, getting out of the boat too. When he looked at the side at which the captain was looking, he saw that a sharp rock had teared half of the boat.
-Let's bring the boat to the beach, so we can have a place to pass the night.- said Bruce.
-Good idea.- answered John.
-Hypno, move it with Psychic!
-Help him Espeon!
In no time the boat was in the middle of the beach. the four men were starting a fire, lonely in the beach. A loud screech was heard. A strange shadow was coming from the sky. It looked like some kind of dragon or bird.
-Did you see that?- asked Zack.
-What?- said John.
-Nothing, forget it...
That night Bruce saw something moving in the forest. A scythe and a brown foot...

 

[Yami Ryu]

... okay, Dan closed your first attempt at script. Grem closed your second, and you fail at learning anything. Or is this a very poor and half assed attempt at a real fic? I am confused as you don't use speech qutations, you script in places and in the rest you very hap-hazardly, if that's the word, dsescribe things. Meaning you do a weak attempt at a half assed attempt of attempting to describe anything.


I suggest you actually attempt to write or you might just have a few dozen closed 'fan fics' tagged to your name and annoyance from mods for failing in trying to do anything to get better.

 

[Kaiserin]

That's no excuse. Your "style" is not a fanfic. It's script format, and it isn't allowed. Either write in proper fanfiction format, or get the hell off the fanfiction boards, since you don't seem to want to do it the right way, dammit.

Closed.