• Hi all. We have had reports of member's signatures being edited to include malicious content. You can rest assured this wasn't done by staff and we can find no indication that the forums themselves have been compromised.

    However, remember to keep your passwords secure. If you use similar logins on multiple sites, people and even bots may be able to access your account.

    We always recommend using unique passwords and enable two-factor authentication if possible. Make sure you are secure.
  • Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

The Night Serebii Went Insane (NC-17)

Status
Not open for further replies.
R

RaZoR LeAf

Night Terror
Warning not so much for the first few chapters, but certainly for the third and onwards. It was about then I stopped making it for a forum specific audience. OK, before the fic, a bit of history. Unless you are a chat veteran, you will not know the full details of this fic. It started off as a one off joke, something i made on a whim, based on some fun stuff I'd written in college. It was well received so I did another chapter, and then another. They were all posted on the forums, until the third chapter caused controversy when it involved BMG. After that it was taken off the fourms and continued in the chat. I don't write this often, it's just something fun. Most of the chat members want to read it again, and Serebii has said there's no problem posting this again.

So a basic warning first. This fic was written by ME, and ME alone, for the comedy benefit of the chat members. Anything that occurs within the fic is of MY writing, and not influenced by Serebii. So it cannot and will not be used in any form of a power struggle or forum war. If anyone has issues with it, come to me, or don't read the fic.

CHAPTER ONE

One quiet night in the confines of his own home, Joe Merrick, who shall henceforth be known as the illustrious SPP, came across a most interesting website, filled with flashing colours, wonderfully drawn images of all his favourite pokemon, deep written rants, but most importantly
"Those are my pictures!"
That's right, in a fit of final unadulterated rage, SPP picked up the nearest shoe and continued to dap his computer to death with the floppy end of the sole. The unprovoked shoe attack didn't prevail, so the annoyed webmaster picked up a more heavy duty baseball bat, something that happened to be lying on his desk at the time, and finished smashing his computer to pieces. Aware that destroying his own computer isn't going to solve everything, the enraged owner of Serebii.net storms out of his house and takes to the streets, determined to seek out each and every pokemon site owner in the world, and burn them to the ground. If he were a mad man of some kind, he would by now be spouting nonsense about how no one can stop him.
"Now, no one can stop me!"
Well. He'd be right of course, if he hadn't left his web cam on while he was smashing his computer. Elsewhere, the washing powder named one Daz, more commonly known as Pipikachu, saw the whole thing, up to the point the camera got mushed. Fearing the worst, and for his own life, he logged on to the SPP chat and immediately began tracing people's phone numbers.

"Dan, is that you?"
Dan, the happily named PorygonX groaned, rolling back on his wheelie chair, pushing the door shut and going back to the phone.
"Yes, who is this?"
"It's Daz. Look this is an emergency!"
"What.. Daz? Who.. what.. how did you get this number?"
There was a short pause on the other end of the line.
"I used a combination of mIRC, KaZaA and a calculator to trace your IP though the phone line and get your home number."
"Is that even possible?"
Another pause.
"No. But lets say it is and that it was very hard for me to pull off."
"Uh huh. What's the big emergency?"
"It's Joe. He's gone insane, he's finally flipped. He's going to kill every single pokemon website owner in the world, so no one steals his pics again."
PX pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes. "Is that all?"
"PX, you don't understand the enormous importance of what I'm telling you! If Joe succeeds, then his site will be the only pokemon site on the entire internet, it'll be filled with everybody who likes pokemon, every single noob, every moron, EVERYBODY! There'll be so many people visiting that the server will explode and there'll be NO pokemon sites on the net at all!"
"Right now, I think Iíd be more worried about owning a pokemon site and living near Joe."
There was another pause, followed by the swift noise of a phone being dropped to the floor. PX tapped the receiver but there was still noise on the other side. Banging, the sort of noise that follows when you board up a door with 2 inch ply wood and 4 inch nails. Then the phone was picked back up, the conversation resuming with a person panting on the other end.
"Often keep nails, hammers and ply wood in your room do you?" PX asked, still unfazed by what was going on.
"You'd be surprised how useful they can be."
"I don't want to know about your DIY fetishes thank you. What do you want to do about Joe?"
"I think we need to get everyone together. All the regulars from the channel, and we need to stop Joe before he carries out his mission. Do you have a calculator handy?"
"No."
"Have you even looked?"
"Not really. You want me to come up with some other way of contacting everyone?"
"Please. I have to warn grem, he's got a website too, so he's probably a prime target."
"Don't you both live like 300 miles away from Joe?"
"Yes, but you'd be surprised how fast he can move when he's determined."
"OK. I'll see what I can do."
PX hung up the phone and sighed. He pinched himself to check if he was dreaming, but on the revelation that the pinch damn well hurt, and that this wasn't a dream, he set off to scrounge some parts to build a beacon of some kind to alert everyone in the spp chat room.

Pipikachu rang through a number, one that he didn't have to perform a clearly impossible task to retrieve, since he'd been given it on a trip to London recently.
"Grem! Board up your windows, Joe is on a rampage!"
"I KNOW THAT! HE'S OUTSIDE MY HOUSE!"
"Sheesh grem, no need to shout!"
"THERE'S ALWAYS A REASON TO SHOUT! I.. Joe.."
Grem's voice turned to a muted whisper and the phone dropped to the floor, but didn't cut out. Daz held the receiver tightly and dared not let go. He listened closely to the conversation on the other end of the line.
"Grem, I didn't want to do this, but you've left me no choice." that was the voice of SPP, but it was rough, harsh and sounded like he needed at least 2 packs of Halls Soothers to make it sound right again. "It's come to this, Iím going to have to kill you."
"WHAT!? YOU CAN'T KILL ME!" grem screamed, but it was futile. A large clubbing sound, echoed through the phone line followed by a body slumping to the floor. For a long time there was silence, then it was broken by slight squeaking noises, a wet slice or two, a couple of slurps, then a large plop a few more wet slurps and a rip of selotape. Then another rip. Then another.
"Bloody hell, where's the end gone now?"
A few more rips and finally silence again. The phone as picked up and Daz became aware of heavy breathing at the other end.
"Joe..?" Pip asked quietly.
"Daz, I'm coming for you next."
The line went dead, and Daz became suddenly aware of the fact that he needed to change his underwear. He crossed his fingers, hoping that PX could come up with a way to gather the troops soon.

PX pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes for the thirteenth time in the last five minutes. In front of him sat a dismantled television set, two DVD players, cut neatly in half, a toaster with a CD drive plugged into one of the bread slots, three high power torches, a lamppost, a computer and keyboard, numerous bits of pieces of electrical equipment, some tools, lots of tin foil and a cup of tea. Two sugars, a little milk. He picked up the DVD player and plugged it into one of the high powered torches, giving the light that sharp finish that you only get with the highest quality of DVD players, and a fine sound that can be appreciated by anyone, had torches made sound that is.

A few minutes later, everything was plugged into everything else. The computer was up and running and logging onto mIRC, while the torch was pointing into space. mIRC flicked up and connected to the server then onto the #spp chat room.

* Now talking in #spp
* Topic is '(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)(-o-) --> I am on a secret mission. You will not hear from me or see me until it is complete. I bid you all farewell. PS, if you own a pokemon site, please tell me.
* Set by SerebiiPP on Thu Dec 25 18:20:00
* SPPBot sets mode: +o PorygonX
<Pip-Fearing-for-life> Ph33r the welsh Porygon and his Welshness
<Lady_Dragoneye> Hey PX
<Dratini927> Hi Dan
<PorygonX> Everyone, look outside your windows NOW!
<Yami_Ryu> Hi PX
<Yami_Ryu> o.o
<Yami_Ryu> why?
<PorygonX> NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!
* Yami_Ryu looks out
<Yami_Ryu> Does anyone else see a big beam of light, with a badly drawn Celebi in the middle?
<Lady_Dragoneye> Oddly enough, yes. One of the arms is too long.
<PorygonX> Can you not criticize my drawings please? This is a state of emergency!
<Shingo`> It's got three legs! o_O
<PorygonX> My point is that Joe has gone insane.
<Shingo`> Gone? He's always been insane. Like this little mission he's gone on. New Star Trek DVD's out are there?
<PorygonX> No. He's going to brutally murder every single pokemon site owner in the world, so his reigns supreme.
<Dratini927> XD
<PorygonX> I'm serious you bum! See Pip's nick? That's because he's just heard grem being murdered down the phone
<Dratini927> o_O
<Pip-Fearing-for-life> He's telling the truth. Dan is that beacon your doing?
<PorygonX> Yes. It's like the batman beacon, only less effective. We don't have a theme tune yet.
* SerebiiPP (webmaster@serebii.net) has joined #spp
<SerebiiPP> How about, "If you try to stop me, Iíll kill you all"?
<Pip-Fearing-for-life> Ahh! Joe!! How did you get on!?
<SerebiiPP> I have my ways. Daz, Iím coming for you, I wont be long. Don't try and resist like grem did. It'll only hurt more.
* SerebiiPP (webmaster@serebii.net) has left #spp
<PorygonX> NOW, do you see what I mean?
<Lady_Dragoneye> OK, but what can we do, we're all over the world.
<PorygonX> It's very simple. I have devised a machine that will automatically transport you through your phone lines to a designated meeting area, aka Pip's back garden, all you have to do is PM TranstoasterBot and tell it "beam me up"
* TranstoasterBot (TranstoasterBot@Toast.net) has joined #spp
<TranstoasterBot> Well hey there folks, glad to meet you all and I can't wait to serve you up a nice buttery slice of warmed bread.
<Dratini927> I thought you said it was a bot.
<PorygonX> There was an unexpected mix up when I built the transtoaster device, and it gained a personality from all the characters on one of the DVD's that got lodged in its slot.
<PorygonX> Daz, I need you to put a toaster in your garden, so everyone can get there.
<Shingo`> Are you serious?
<PorygonX> Why wouldn't I be?
<Shingo`> I've always had a fear of getting stuck in a toaster and being over warmed.
<PorygonX> This toaster doesn't cook that high. You may feel slightly warmer when you get out the other end though.
* Lady_Dragoneye PM's the bot
<TranstoasterBot> Well sure Lady_Dragoneye, you just pot right along there and I'll have you buttered up right away
* Lady_Dragoneye (libby@ec-1A46F2F9.access.clara.net) has left #spp (Transtoastation!)
<Pip-Fearing-for-life> Hey, a slightly singed girl just jumped out of the toaster in my garden!
* Dratini927 (Mattini@ec-6137915.oc.oc.cox.net) has left #spp (Transtoastation!)
<Pip-Fearing-for-life> Hey, now Matt has popped out too.
<PorygonX> Great! If everyone can follow suit we'll be able to get Pip to safety and stop Joe before he causes any more damage. I'll set the bot too transcript everything that's happened to anyone who joins the room so they can catch up with us. We'll take the toaster if we go anywhere.
<Pip-Fearing-for-life> Hey this is Sandra, Pip has lovely spiky hair. Come on everyone, it's not even raining!
* Quit (Transtoastation!)

PX suddenly became aware of three bright red strips of light and a strange buttery smell emanating from around him.
"Pip, you're meant to butter the bread AFTER you toast it!" he yelled, as he was thrown out of the toaster, landing on the grass with a thump.
"I prefer bagels."
"Well. Beggars can't be choosers. Have you boarded things up yet?"
"Most of it, but it donít help if I'm standing out here waiting for new arrivals."
"We don't have time to wait, we'll have to take the toaster and make a break for it."
"Why?"
"Because Iíve come to kill you now Pipikachu!"
Everybody gasped and turned to face, the voice of SPP, who stood at the garden gate, a chainsaw in one hand and a Big mac in the other.
"I expected you sooner, I should have guessed you'd stop for food first." Daz grumbled
"Yes, brain surgery is quite a tiring business." SPP grinned, eating the last few bites of his BigMac and tossing the rest of the container to the floor.
"Brain surgery?" Daz asked, before sudden realisation dawned on him "no.. you didn't.."
"I'd like you all to meet, grem."
From behind SPP came a slobbering beast, droll dripping from its mouth and its body hunched over in some kind of hideous Gollum copyright infringement.
"You took grem's brain out and turned him into your slave!" Yami Ryu yelled, but SPP continued to laugh.
"Not only that, but I assimilated grem's entire knowledge onto CD. Now I know everything that grem knew. But now, Pip, I have to kill you. You see I can't even allow Pikachu's Den to stay active, even if it is offline until 2004, I'm not taking any chances."
With a tug on the chain, the chainsaw began to rev, spinning at high speed, all Daz could do was back into a wall and pray for something to happen. PX picked up the toaster, it was rattling slightly. He aimed the slots at SPP and shouted..
"Hey Joe! Wadda'ya Know!"
In that spilt second of distraction SPP turned to look at PX, and from the toaster leaped Shingo` landing on top of the enraged webmaster and knocking him unconscious.
"Nice timing Shingo!" Lady_Dragoneye shouted, slapping him on the back
"Thanks, I think. Did I just land on SPP?"
"Yes, yes you did." she replied.
"Excellent."
"Look, good job Shingo, your fat arse has saved Pip, but we need to get out of here, before SPP wakes up." PX said, lending a hand to help Shingo onto his feet. "Pip, grab what you need, and lets get out of here now. I'll carry the toaster."

Pip dashed into his house and came out within a few seconds with a fully prepared camping bag, a packet of rations, and a laptop in a carry case with a small generator and a satellite dish modem.
"That was fast." Yami Ryu exclaimed.
"I wasn't going to sit around twiddling my thumbs while I waited for PX to build the Transtoaster, I had to change my underwear a few times, but I got things sorted out."
"Eww."
"Look, lets go, Joe's beginning to stir already" PX said, waving everyone out the garden, they ran off down the street to the questions of "My bum isn't that fat.. is it?" from Shingo.

A few minutes later, they were gone, and SPP finally came too.
"Grem.. grem can follow them. Smell them he can yes."
"Shut up grem. Pip can wait, his site is small and not yet online. I have bigger fish to fry, but first I need more equipment and a batter mode of transportation. First on my list, is an old friend. Archaic of BMG, you will be the next, to die."
 
X

Xeno Metal Knuckles

Guest
lol,that was funny. This fic is good for a laugh.

But seriously this is a decently lengthened fic
 
Blackjack Gabbiani

Blackjack Gabbiani

Clearly we're great!
Oh boy. Heehee!
 
T

Trinx

Well-Known Member
Awesome, I remember reading this like a year ago, it's nice to see it finally posted up on Es Pee Pee Eff, I can still slightly remember a bit, and I love this fic, =D.
 
R

RaZoR LeAf

Night Terror
Minor warning at the end in refrence to being mean about someone.

CHAPTER TWO

Trudging up the side of the hill, Pip slipped on a patch of especially slippery grass and slid back down a few meters. He found his footing and ran back up, trying his best to catch up with everyone else.
"I told you." Lady Dragoneye explained when he finally made it to the peak "that bag of junk would weigh you down too much. You should at least share it out."
Panting, Pip finally agreed and took the bag off his shoulders. He reached in and started pulling out lots of smaller bags and handing them out. He passed one to Lady Dragoneye where she promptly held out her hand to stop him.
"You misunderstood me. When I said share it out, I mean share it out amongst you strapping strong men. I have my personal health to worry about, I don't want to be crippled carrying around your stuff."
"Typical. Shingo, Drat, PX, you grab some of this stuff too would you?" Pip threw bags to Dratini and Shingo, but PX refused his.
"I'm carrying the toaster, this is expensive equipment you know. Transtoastation will be the next best thing if I can get sales rights for it. I can see it now, no massive airports, just toasters of varying sizes, reaching as far as the eye can see. People popping out, slightly warmed, or more so if their visiting cold places like Siberia or Scotland..."
"Now I know why we have flooding scripts on mIRC." Dratini groaned, hoisting a bag onto his shoulders and continuing on "Where are we going anyway?"
Pip quickened the pace to come up beside Drat and pointed over the peak and down at the town below. "We'll find a hostel or something to stay at. Maybe an Internet cafe so we can check our emails. Maybe with a Burger King nearby too. SPP doesn't like Burger King, so he'd rather ignore us than step anywhere near one of those places."

At the bottom of the hill Pip guided everyone towards a Hostel that had a Burger King just across the road. The smell of flame grilled prime beef was overwhelming, and a sure guarantee that no manic webmasters would approach. Pip handed out some money that he had brought so everyone could get in.
"I don't like the look of this place." Yami Ryu grumbled, looking at a wall of peeling paper and dry rot.
"Me either" agreed Lady Dragoneye "but there's something else that's bothering me right now and I can't quite figure it out."
Confused by what was bothering her Lady Dragoneye continued to explore the hostel, finding nothing out of the ordinary. After about five minutes of exploring, Lady Dragoneye returned to the large room that the others had all managed to wrangle into sharing. Lady Dragoneye sat down on a bed near Yami.
"THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG!" Lady Dragoneye yelled suddenly jumping to her feet and walking directly towards the wall where.. hey!

"You listen to me Mr Narrator Guy! The name's NOT Lady Dragoneye! If you want to talk about me it's SANDRA or LIZZY! NOTHING ELSE! You got that!?"

Ahem. OK. With SANDRA, now with everyone else having solved what was riling her up so much, the group decide that they're safe enough for the moment and go to grab some food in the hostel kitchen. When they get there a problem shows itself.
"There's a toaster here." PX points out worryingly.
"Yes. You'd expect there to be a toaster here, it's a kitchen, there's usually toasters in kitchens." Shingo adds "more importantly, is my bum really that big?"
"Shut up about your bum, you don't get it. If someone comes through the Transtoaster when there's two toasters in close vicinity, there could be catastrophic results!"
"How catastrophic are we talking here?" Drat asks him "Do you mean, end of all life as we know it Catastrophic, or someone coming out over cooked catastrophic?"
"I mean, weird catastrophic.. oh dear. The toaster is shaking."
PX was right, the toaster was shaking, indicating that someone was using the transtoastation device linked into mIRC and was finding his or her way here.
"I'll go to the other toaster and see if anything happens." PX says and leaves quickly, in a dead run as a matter of fact, considering how often PX runs, anyone who saw him would be hard pressed to ever see him run again. The others turned to face the toaster, watching with increasing wonder of who, or what would pop out of the slot next. A bang shot out from the machine followed by a body leaping out of a bread slot and landing on a table.
"God that hurt." the body said, rolling off the table and onto the floor "ooh, pizza."
Pip walked over and helped the body up "Ok, who are you?" he asked the bright pink clothed person
"Isn't it obvious? I'm Grim Dudette!"
"Why do I have a horrible feeling in my gut that what PX said about a catastrophic turn out is going to involve a some what the same yet some what different person coming through the other toaster?" Drat said, looking at the girl, who was eating a slice of pizza from a plate on the floor.
"I told you so." PX said, from the door way, standing next to him, an exact look a like of Grim Dudette, yet lacking the pink clothes "This is Grim Dude"
"Oh my God." Yami Ryu managed to say before becoming totally speechless. Lady.. uh.. Sandra on the other hand wasn't so speechless. When has she ever been known to be speechless.
"OK, so we've got two Grim's a male and a female. What does this tell us?"
"Staying away from more than one toaster would be a good start." Shingo suggested.
"Yes. And where can we go where there are no toasters?"
"Antarctica?"
"Shingo shut up, there's no way in hell Iím going to Antarctica." Sandra said, slapping him over the head. "Honestly, you'd swear your brains were in your arse."
"Why is my arse always being brought into the conversation?"
"Because it's big." Drat added
"Look, enough about Shingo's vital statistics we have work to do. Pip, get on the net and find someplace we can go."

Elsewhere in the middle of London somewhere, SPP walked quietly along a busy street, followed closely by the hunched over grem. Under his arm he carried a large metal sheet, and had in his hand a toolbox. On grem's back he carried a three tonne box of equipment and metal pieces.
"Come on grem, I've got work to do. Those DVD's of Star Trek weren't just for entertainment purposes you know. I've learnt a lot about engineering. Although seeing Ezri Dax always lightens my day."
The drooling form that was once grem followed behind, carrying the amazingly heavy box through means that are so secret and amazing, they cannot be repeated here on pain of death. That, or we're just making it up and haven't thought of a good enough reason to tell you.

Back at his secret lair, a secret place whose location remains so secret, Iím finding it hard to describe, Joe sat at a table, sonic screwdriver in one hand and a goldfish bowl in the other. On the floor around him lay parts that he had already constructed. Given the amount of time since our last encounter with him, he's done a lot of work, but all things considered, things are very strange at the moment so time is a bit off.
"grem, have you had any luck tracking Pip and his merry men yet?"
"Tracking.. yess.. grem can track them. Smell them he can.. yess"
SPP sighed. By now he regretted taking out grem's brain. Having a mindless slave to his bidding was one thing, but when you needed a job done they tended not to do much good. SPP dropped his sonic screwdriver and paused his DVD player. What he needed was someone to help him, someone who wasn't already a gibbering idiot.
"Well, that rules out Mepster.."
"How about me sweety?" came a voice from across the lair. SPP turned and his eyes widened.
"Elfy! You made it! Excellent, now I have an assistant who's not only as brilliant as me but is damned sexy too."
"You bet, and I agree totally with your plan. You shouldn't have to put up with people stealing your work. Lets go kill every last one of those thieving bas.."
SPP interrupted "Please Elfy, this is PG-13, we can't swear, at least not until the content changes and the maturity rating is boosted."
"Oh, OK. So, who's first on the list?"
SPP hit a button on a nearby remote control. The frozen DVD flickered out to be replaced with a great map of the world. A small blinking green light flashed in England somewhere, while a red one flashed in America elsewhere.
"This is us, the green one. The red one represents our prime target, Archaic in America somewhere, I never could bring myself to care where abouts exactly he lived. Anyway, BMG isn't that big a site anymore, but it still has the potential to be. If we kill all the potential sites first, then there'll be nothing to back up when we destroy the finished sites."
"Ooh, how First Evil of you." Dragon Elf whispered.
"All I need now are a manic vicar, some blind guys and a non-corporeal Sarah Michelle Gellar."
"Do you think Pip and his merry band of travellers will suspect you?"
"I expect so, and I'm sure they'll try to stop me."
"You think?" Dragon Elf asked in surprise "I mean.. it's Archaic."
SPP mulled it over for a few seconds "Yeah your right. They probably don't care."

Back in a small hostel in the middle of some unnamed town near Crewe, the merry men and women had finally come to a decision about where they could hide out.
"I've got it!" Pip cheered, slamming his laptop shut and sitting up "We can hide in Wales!"
"What?" PX said, turning away from the toaster to face Pip.
"Of course!" Sandra shouted in agreement "Wales is behind in technology! The people there still live in caves!"
"Excuse me.." PX said again, but he was obviously being ignored.
"Yep, and you don't get power points in caves, and you don't get electricity or lights. If we're hungry we'll have to hunt wild sheep with rudimentary spears made of sticks and stones." Pip added
"I can't believe Iím hearing this.." PX mumbled to himself.
"Right, PX you made this thing, how can we all jump from here to some toaster less desolate cave in Wales?" Dratini927 asked
"I find myself with an undying urge throttle something." PX mused, looking for someone to throttle.
"Look PX we don't want to deal with your BDSM fantasies the same as we don't want to deal with Shingo's fat bum, can you tell us how to get somewhere?"
PX sighed. At least he did know a toaster less place in 'desolate' Wales.
"Yeah OK. Get back onto the channel and PM the bot with the phrase "group hyphen return to base"
Pip reopened his laptop and logged onto mIRC. A few key taps later and nothing happened.
"The bot says 'Hey thar buddy buddy friend. I don't know what weird stuff your trying to pull here but I ain't the bot that takes it.' PX?"
"I didn't mean type hyphen, I meant make a dash."
"Oh."
Some more key pressed and suddenly the toaster began to shudder, sucking everyone inside, and throwing them out into a small room in a house in Wales. Everyone got to their feet, dusted themselves down and began to look around. The walls were all nicely painted, the floor was smooth and wooden, and there was lights and electricity flowing through the house.
"Well, it's not exactly a cave is it?" Pip said.
"Hey" Yami shouted, pointing gout the window "It's the base of the beacon thing!"
"Of course it is. This is my house" PX said sternly. "Now kindly shuffle out of my study so I can clean things up."
"Of course, you don't have a toaster, because you used it to build the bot." Yami pointed out "Very clever Dan. But, this isn't a cave?"
"I'm very rich." PX said flatly.
"This is the posh people's estate, where they get houses not just empty caves." Pip explained to everyone else, not noticing the steam boiling out of PX's ears, and the bright red glow from his face.
"Come on, lets sit down and plan our next move while PX gets us all some drinks." Shingo pointed into the front room. Hey do you have cable?"
"No." PX said, shutting the door. The muffled conversation from the other room came through.

"Goddamit!"
"Grim Dude and Grim Dudette! You're both welsh.. ish. What's on that we can watch?"
"Uh. Well, BBC1 and 2, HTV and S4C. If you want to watch something welsh that is."
"Sure stick something welsh on. This should be fun."

The conversation stopped when the TV started making some sound. PX turned the computer back onto mIRC to see what was happening. The main topic of conversation seemed to be about how most of the ops and mods had disappeared, and that the forums where a bit messy. Ledian_X was getting ****** off at having to close all the topics himself and Purple Kecleon was beginning to get ticked off at anyone who said anything, kick banning them for a full half hour before letting them back in and repeating it when they spoke again.
"Insanity." PX grumble.
"Yeah you bet it is Mr PX boss man sir." said a strange accent from behind. PX spun around to see three small robot like creatures, odd mixtures of C3PO and R2D2 mixed into one. One of them was a deep shade of green, one was blue and one has a toaster for a body.
"Oh god no, please say Iím not seeing what Iím seeing."
"Sorry boss buddy friend pal friend boss, but things happened while you were gone. The other Bots interacted with me and came out this end as actual bots. Then they took me apart and rebuilt me while you back was turned."
"In a matter of five seconds."
"You'd be surprised how fast we can work" said the green bot.
"OK, let me guess." PX said. He pointed to the toaster bodied one "TranstoasterBot?"
"That's right boss boss."
"SPPBot." he pointed at the green one.
"You betcha. You want me to kick someone?"
"Not right now. So you must be..?"
the blue bot punched his chest "I'm RainerBot. You want something found, I can find it for you. Shingo taught me that much."
"Uh huh. So I take it you three are going to help us.. SPPBot aren't you supposed to be working for SPP?"
"Yeah.. but he's got no time for me now. He's got help from Dragon-Elf and grem."
"Do you know who his next target is?" PX asked
"Sure. It's Archaic."
"Excellent." PX jumped up and ran into the sitting room where everyone was sat around watching a show on TV.

"Guys, I know SPP is going to target next!"
"STFU PX, dammit we're trying to watch this!" Sandra snapped.
"What the hell.. you're watching Pobyl Y Cwm!"
"PX what are those small robot things walking behind you?" Yami asked.
"Yeah. Um, theyíre the bots. TranstoasterBot, SPPBot and RainerBot."
Shingo jumped up and turned to RainerBot "RainerBot! Is that really you?"
The little blue robot saluted and turned to its creator "It's me, hey there Shingo. I imagined you with a smaller arse."
"But but but.."
"Yes, your Butt. Please, stop talking about it, it's giving me nightmares."
"Look, enough." PX interrupted again, switching off the TV amid many groans of disappointment "SPPBot told me who SPP is going to kill next."
"Well who goddamit!?" Pip demanded.
"Archaic of BMG!" PX shouted. The room went quiet. Had PX actually lived in a cave like most of the population of Wales, tumbleweed would surely have rolled past.
"Well." Dratini927 said "Are we going to help him?"
"It IS Archaic. PX?"
"That's what I was thinking. Does anybody actually.. care? Show of hands?"
PX let a few minutes go by, but there was no show of hands.
"Right that's that settled then. Any ideas what SPPís next target will be?"
"Brainstorm time again." Yami sighed.

Back at SPP's secret lair, he smiled, looking upon his great creation with pride. Dragon-Elf stood behind him clapping, while grem merely dribbled on the floor and giggled occasionally, mumbling to himself about teabags and Rice Cripsies.
"It's brilliant Joey, and you even made a passenger seat for me. What about grem?"
"Bah. I knew I forgot something. I'll stick him in the storage section, he'll be alright in there, there's a few air holes."
SPP and Dragon-Elf looked up at the creation. A twelve foot mecha, complete with a running speed of 200 mph, rocket jet blasters, rechargeable lasers and a full complement of heat seeking missiles and a 1000 rps along with impenetrable Titanium Armour, satellite linked communication and telemetry, a storage compartment and two seats.
"So this is what you're going to use to kill everyone?"
"You bet. And first on the list. It's Archaic. Grab grem, and we'll get going straight away."
 
T

Trinx

Well-Known Member
Chatters people!? =[. I still enjoy the fic, even when I read it last year and didn't understand it (didn't go to the chat last year).
 
T

Trinx

Well-Known Member
I somehow have a feeling that Edward Elric will be in the 6th chapter, for some reason, =o! And, wtf, I rawk, =[.
 
T

Trinx

Well-Known Member
He did?! o.o, never saw that mentioned, unless I wasn't in the chat at the time (probably wasn't, =p).
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top