just do it anyway
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The Official Advice Thread
- Thread starter Mariya Shidou
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CovertNinja
Pokemon Master
Gonna ask her at school today, with flowers. I will let ya'll know how it goes down! Wish me luck.
Going hardcore. I like it!
Cipher_Admin
Creepy Coney Man :)
CovertNinja
Pokemon Master
She apparently decided that she isn't going
Hey guys I want some advice on what I should do about freshers which is next week and following week for university students. Its common in the UK not sure about other countries though but basically involves partying every night for 2 weeks straight and been as drunk as you can get each night for most people.
First problem arises where I don't actually have money till my student loan goes in 3/4 days after the first day of university/freshers.
Second problem is that I don't exactly drink at all nearly, I only drink koppaberg which no matter where you go doesn't come in cheaply anyway. £4 for 500ml bottle is like a standard price around here.
So I'm wondering will i miss much not attending freshers, tbh I see everyone been in a drunken state and not remembering anything anyway. Also spending loads of freshers doesn't seem a sensible idea when I have to live from the money anyway each term and I also currently don't have a job to compensate.
First problem arises where I don't actually have money till my student loan goes in 3/4 days after the first day of university/freshers.
Second problem is that I don't exactly drink at all nearly, I only drink koppaberg which no matter where you go doesn't come in cheaply anyway. £4 for 500ml bottle is like a standard price around here.
So I'm wondering will i miss much not attending freshers, tbh I see everyone been in a drunken state and not remembering anything anyway. Also spending loads of freshers doesn't seem a sensible idea when I have to live from the money anyway each term and I also currently don't have a job to compensate.
TheotherLati
Ace Trainer Brendan
If you don't mind, can you expand a little on the portion I bolded? I'm fairly sure that it wasn't your intention and you were probably worried about saying the "wrong things," however I'm just a little curious on what you did for them to think that.
But most importantly, I would play it safe and do exactly what you said and ask her how she's doing. Then maybe it could eventually lead up to you getting her number.
Good luck man
Pacifist3000
COOL*
Party on campus? Drink as well? Well at my university, which is in Canada, during Frosh (Which is basically student orientation week), they do not promote alcohol. It's not allowed anywhere but in a licenced area. Even the university's bar ends all alcohol sale during the week. Apparently Frosh week as been dry since 2003. Now, I know what you all are thinking. "You hosers can't even bring two-fours and drink them anywhere you want?" Yep. I thought the same too. But now that I think about it, I'm glad it's like that.
To answer your question, you don't have to go if you don't want to, especially since you said it could put a strain on your money. Also, don't let anyone pressure you into going, if you really don't want to. I didn't go to mine, and I regret nothing (keep in mind that I wouldn't have be drinking anyway). However, I'm not really enthusiastic about "social" events anyway.
Best of luck. :]I didn't exactly know what "Freshers" was, so I did a little research. Seems kinda like Frosh. You learn something new every day!
varanus_komodoensis
they call me Varanus
It depends on what kind of piercing you're thinking of. If you just want to put a little diamond stud in your nose, potential employers probably won't care. If you're thinking of piercing your nasal septum and you're going to put a giant bull ring in it, then yes, that will deter you from getting jobs. But also, I'm assuming you could just take out the studs/rings/whatever out of your nose before you interview or go to work...
Pokémon Trainer Xande
Yu-Gi-Oh Duelist
Ok, I thought that I wouldn't need advice anymore, I thought that I had success. But, if that was true, this wouldn't be my life. LET ME UPDATE YOU:
*In Wednesday, I was walking her home again, and it was raining. I gave to her my coat, as she needed to protect herself. After some The Police singing, we reached her house, and I tried to kiss her again, but this time, it was obvious. Then, when I noticed that she realized, I hugged her and said "Sorry, but I've got a crush on you". Then, she stared me for a moment, and we kissed each other. In the rain. It was good, and I expected that in the next day, we would at least kiss again [but not in the rain]...that was what I thought.
*In the following day, I walked with her and another friend to another place. She asked to the friend to get out, she needed to talk to me, and would enter the house in a second. She looked into my eyes, and said:
-Well Ale [yes, my name is Alexandre], I'm not sure I kinda got how to do this.
Me thinking, about a kiss, said:
-Me too [exact face].
-Ale, as you know, my last boyfriend doesn't let me even take a breath without asking me to re-start our relationship, and that isn't what I want. I lost my best friend (ex) because of this. Ale, I like you, I really do, but what I need now, is a friend, and I'm afraid that, if we start something, our friendship will end.
-M.[I will codename her, ok? Not going to say someone else's name in a public forum, but I called her by a sweet nickname], you don't need to worry about this. As you know, chivarly is part of my life, and I can't just let it out of me. I always need to help cute girls in need - I said, smiling - but the choice is yours. You know.
-Ale, I'm really sorry, but I'm a bit confused, so I'm not able to start a relationship with you
[STRONG HUG]
-Yes M. But I still have got a crush on you [we laugh a bit]
-Ok then. Later we talk on Facebook?
-Sure
Of course I've felt bad, but somehow, The Police's cool melodies and sweet phrases helped me.
*Today, it was pretty normal, I walked her home, we just talked a bit, but on Facebook, she started to give me advice about kissing, "for future usage". I kinda think it is a indirect way to talk with me.
***(3"*" because it is pretty important) I think this is evolving from a regular crush. Instead of my other crushes before, I feel pretty "ok" with her (I even appeared wearing a tuxedo and imitated Michael Jackson. She kinda liked), and I can't just forget her. I'm not doing stalker-ish things, but I'm trying to do the kind of things she does, and that sucks a little bit, because I hate to draw, in example, while she is one of the best artist in my school, together with her younger brother. I stopped playing Pokémon because it remembered she of her ex-boyfriend. I can't even deck-build in Magic: The Gathering anymore, because it remembers me that I took her to my local card store and she chose to me a Green-Black Pré-Made Deck, even though my "natural" color is Blue, so I can't accept any kind of deck. I stopped Diablo, because it was hard to talk with her and also play. And, the worst of all, none of this is her fault, it is just a natural reaction of mine. I'm wondering how the heck I'm going to "survive" pretty much a whole weekend without her. I'm pretty sure she doesn't notice it (see? I'm not this stupid), but I'm getting a little bit too excited about this. She is my first REAL crush/love after a five-year long one that took me to a unescapable fight with myself and made my mind collapse, but that is another story. In my next post, I will explain some things about why I think I'm winning in some aspects. And, BTW, she told something about a beer called Stella Artois. I'm almost certainly going to go insane if my stepfather (who is drinking it now) leaves me alone with it . This kinda creeps me out. Just seeing that bottle gave me chills
*In Wednesday, I was walking her home again, and it was raining. I gave to her my coat, as she needed to protect herself. After some The Police singing, we reached her house, and I tried to kiss her again, but this time, it was obvious. Then, when I noticed that she realized, I hugged her and said "Sorry, but I've got a crush on you". Then, she stared me for a moment, and we kissed each other. In the rain. It was good, and I expected that in the next day, we would at least kiss again [but not in the rain]...that was what I thought.
*In the following day, I walked with her and another friend to another place. She asked to the friend to get out, she needed to talk to me, and would enter the house in a second. She looked into my eyes, and said:
-Well Ale [yes, my name is Alexandre], I'm not sure I kinda got how to do this.
Me thinking, about a kiss, said:
-Me too
[exact face].-Ale, as you know, my last boyfriend doesn't let me even take a breath without asking me to re-start our relationship, and that isn't what I want. I lost my best friend (ex) because of this. Ale, I like you, I really do, but what I need now, is a friend, and I'm afraid that, if we start something, our friendship will end.
-M.[I will codename her, ok? Not going to say someone else's name in a public forum, but I called her by a sweet nickname], you don't need to worry about this. As you know, chivarly is part of my life, and I can't just let it out of me. I always need to help cute girls in need - I said, smiling - but the choice is yours. You know.
-Ale, I'm really sorry, but I'm a bit confused, so I'm not able to start a relationship with you
[STRONG HUG]
-Yes M. But I still have got a crush on you [we laugh a bit]
-Ok then. Later we talk on Facebook?
-Sure
Of course I've felt bad, but somehow, The Police's cool melodies and sweet phrases helped me.
*Today, it was pretty normal, I walked her home, we just talked a bit, but on Facebook, she started to give me advice about kissing, "for future usage". I kinda think it is a indirect way to talk with me.
***(3"*" because it is pretty important) I think this is evolving from a regular crush. Instead of my other crushes before, I feel pretty "ok" with her (I even appeared wearing a tuxedo and imitated Michael Jackson. She kinda liked), and I can't just forget her. I'm not doing stalker-ish things, but I'm trying to do the kind of things she does, and that sucks a little bit, because I hate to draw, in example, while she is one of the best artist in my school, together with her younger brother. I stopped playing Pokémon because it remembered she of her ex-boyfriend. I can't even deck-build in Magic: The Gathering anymore, because it remembers me that I took her to my local card store and she chose to me a Green-Black Pré-Made Deck, even though my "natural" color is Blue, so I can't accept any kind of deck. I stopped Diablo, because it was hard to talk with her and also play. And, the worst of all, none of this is her fault, it is just a natural reaction of mine. I'm wondering how the heck I'm going to "survive" pretty much a whole weekend without her. I'm pretty sure she doesn't notice it (see? I'm not this stupid), but I'm getting a little bit too excited about this. She is my first REAL crush/love after a five-year long one that took me to a unescapable fight with myself and made my mind collapse, but that is another story. In my next post, I will explain some things about why I think I'm winning in some aspects. And, BTW, she told something about a beer called Stella Artois. I'm almost certainly going to go insane if my stepfather (who is drinking it now) leaves me alone with it
. This kinda creeps me out. Just seeing that bottle gave me chillsCipher_Admin
Creepy Coney Man :)
If you don't mind, can you expand a little on the portion I bolded? I'm fairly sure that it wasn't your intention and you were probably worried about saying the "wrong things," however I'm just a little curious on what you did for them to think that.
But most importantly, I would play it safe and do exactly what you said and ask her how she's doing. Then maybe it could eventually lead up to you getting her number.
Good luck man
Okay, so the first email went that she kinda doesn't remember who I am, I replied this morning after her message was sent Wednesday night and said that I was the one who liked talking to her and hung out with the security guy at school. After a few sentences, I did include a picture of myself if in case my explaining didn't go anywhere or ring any bells. I do plan on checking my email every other day, just to kinda look like I am playing "hard to get" as I didn't look at my email on Wednesday and Thursday. Would that be a good idea?
varanus_komodoensis
they call me Varanus
***(3"*" because it is pretty important) I think this is evolving from a regular crush. Instead of my other crushes before, I feel pretty "ok" with her (I even appeared wearing a tuxedo and imitated Michael Jackson. She kinda liked), and I can't just forget her. I'm not doing stalker-ish things, but I'm trying to do the kind of things she does, and that sucks a little bit, because I hate to draw, in example, while she is one of the best artist in my school, together with her younger brother. I stopped playing Pokémon because it remembered she of her ex-boyfriend. I can't even deck-build in Magic: The Gathering anymore, because it remembers me that I took her to my local card store and she chose to me a Green-Black Pré-Made Deck, even though my "natural" color is Blue, so I can't accept any kind of deck. I stopped Diablo, because it was hard to talk with her and also play. And, the worst of all, none of this is her fault, it is just a natural reaction of mine. I'm wondering how the heck I'm going to "survive" pretty much a whole weekend without her. I'm pretty sure she doesn't notice it (see? I'm not this stupid), but I'm getting a little bit too excited about this. She is my first REAL crush/love after a five-year long one that took me to a unescapable fight with myself and made my mind collapse, but that is another story. In my next post, I will explain some things about why I think I'm winning in some aspects. And, BTW, she told something about a beer called Stella Artois. I'm almost certainly going to go insane if my stepfather (who is drinking it now) leaves me alone with it
Maybe it's just me, but I'm not fully understanding this part of the story. Is there another girl besides M that you like?? And you should NOT stop doing things you enjoy (Pokemon, Diablo, Magic, etc) because of her. That is the first step to a really bad relationship. Never change yourself for ANYONE. As for Stella, that's one of my favorite beers
(And yes, I'm old enough to drink one!)Pokémon Trainer Xande
Yu-Gi-Oh Duelist
Maybe it's just me, but I'm not fully understanding this part of the story. Is there another girl besides M that you like?? And you should NOT stop doing things you enjoy (Pokemon, Diablo, Magic, etc) because of her. That is the first step to a really bad relationship. Never change yourself for ANYONE. As for Stella, that's one of my favorite beers
* No, there WAS another girl. No longer there is
* It's just that I can't find a point on Pokémon anymore. About Diablo, it's more because of convenience, but I like to play when we aren't talking on Facebook. And, Magic, I can't like, leave for her. She plays too XD
About numbers, as I promised, I'm actually a bit confused about them. I'm pretty sure that her older brother likes me, since he is waiting for an opportunity to take me to a RPG game with his friends. Her best friend also is trying to help us, and so are my best friends that can help (about to 5 or so). I only have one concern, that her ex-boyfriend, that also was a nerd, reaches a guy called Big for help first. Big is taller then me (I'm over 1,85m), and stronger. He is like Exodia, have him in your hand, and win. But I think that I'm closer to get help from him than her ex. I'm not afraid of her feeling atracted by her ex and not me, because he totally f***** up their relationship, friendship, and all. I'm just afraid of a potential fight he may try to have with me.
The Benmeister
Master of Magnet
Freshers is fun, but don't go overboard. I went out for about half the week and stayed in for the rest, that was a good balance.
But here's a fundemental university tip: don't spend money on booze! You will soon realise that most people that go to university are idiots and blow all their money on alcohol. The way I went about things is that every week I didn't get alcohol, add money to the 'booze fund' that you would have otherwise spent on alcohol. Then you can save up for something that's actually awesome/useful.
Having said that, the reason freshers exists really is to help everyone get to know each other, alcohol just helps that. So maybe go out for at least a few days, the occasional nightings out are fair game I think.
I don't drink much tbh so I don't intend to drink much even when I do have the nights out, so money should hopefully be fine for me.
I will probably try some nights but I'm quite fine talking to most new people and I suppose alcohol does help a majority in doing that. How much they actually remember afterwards if a very different matter though. For people who don't know what freshers is its a week/2weeks at the start of a UK university year where every night their are night events hosted in the local bars/pubs where drinks are cheaper than normal and most students are spending loads of their money getting drunk.
Sidewinder
Ours is the Fury
Danny1221 said:
That's actually really cool. Is it towns that have a university? Or is it an actual observed ting for the country as a whole. Where I live in Arkansas the state coolege is based in my city and they give huge disounts to students on food and stuff, but not at bars/pubs.
_Calm|Mind_
Follow the Path
Go to a bar. If you're attractive, pick whoever you want. If not, let the guys have some drinks before talking to them. It's easy when you're a girl.
The best advice I could give would be to just steer clear of that girl. I couldn't be bothered with reading your whole post, but if she could potentially land you in fights with someone, then there's no point. I don't know your age, but you sound sort of young, and to be quite frank, she's probably going to be one of many and so it's not like this relationship would be of greatest importance to you. And then there's the fact that she sort of hinted that she's not interested anyway. Rather than focusing so much on this girl, focus on the more important things that will actually help you in your life. Relationships are overrated!
TheotherLati
Ace Trainer Brendan
Giving her a description of what you guys did together was good enough to give her an idea of who you are. Including a picture of yourself however, not so much.
If I'm understanding this right, your email would be marked as "read" once you opened it, am I right? I don't know... the whole, 'school emailing' thing seems like a bit of a hassle to me - why don't you just ask for her personal email? It would make things much smoother and you wouldn't have to worry about it getting into the wrong hands.
Just a thought....