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The Official Advice Thread

Pesky Persian

Caffeine Queen
So, what do I do about others who are against me, when logically it isn't their problem anyway, taking whatever one-sided exaggeration she told them and following suit, hence my sheep reference?

Who cares? If they're blocking you and ignoring you, does it really matter if they hate you? If they start harassing you or something of that nature, then it's a problem. Otherwise, just ignore them. They seem pretty content to ignore you.
 

Smokay

Let madness take you
Who cares? If they're blocking you and ignoring you, does it really matter if they hate you? If they start harassing you or something of that nature, then it's a problem. Otherwise, just ignore them. They seem pretty content to ignore you.
Thanks persian, just seems odd that when you try to improve someone's life, their argument is that you could've ruined it. She had told me yesterday that her mother's family relationships were ruined due to a rumor about drugs. Which, in candyland, pertains to what I did.
 
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Rayze Darr

Snubbull Supporter
So I've got a simpler, and hopefully less controversial, issue this time. Two, actually.

My work place is, overall, extremely casual when it comes to how close you are with your coworkers. While most work places, to my knowledge, consist of people who secretly loathe each other and make contact for no more than 8 hours a day, has tons of people who are great friends outside of work, a lot of whom met there, constantly hanging out for movies and parties, and sometimes even dating and getting married. Actually, two people who work in the same department as me are expecting their first baby on July 4th (irrelevant, I know, but it's so cool to me ^^; ). Don't worry, though, I'm not seeking romantic advice.

So, here's issue 1. I've become relatively close to four of my coworkers, though our friendships remain almost exclusive to work hours, and about 6 months ago added them all to Facebook. A couple days ago, one of the girls was telling me about her tattoos, and told me to look up one on her side (hence, she couldn't show me at work) on her Facebook account. When I went to her profile, though, I noticed that the "mutual friends" area didn't match up, and discovered that one of the other girls had since removed me from her friends' list. Now, I'm by no means a "friends' list junky," but the fact that she would remove me, despite us still being close and sharing many fun laughs and moments on the clock, has me feeling a bit... weird. If she didn't think of us as that good of friends, it's strange that she'd even accept my request in the first place. I am very interested in becoming close to her (not romantically) outside of work, as with the others, but I'm curious about this situation. It feels weird being 22-years-old and bringing up "Facebook Friend Status" as a problem, but I'm genuinely concerned that I may not have made a good impression on her.

- Should I bring this up to her? I'm afraid to, out of fear of coming off as "creepy" for noticing, or for starting middle-school level drama. Would it be uncalled for to simply ask her about it, or maybe even just send her another request and see what she does? Am I just over-thinking things, and the best course of action would be to just not worry about it?

My second question is related to the same scenario. About a month ago, I was invited to a third girl's 21st birthday party (as a side note, she's dating a guy, the fourth of the four people I feel I connected with). I arrived a bit late, embarrassingly, but we all had a good time, and despite my being more than a bit shy, I managed to step out of my shell at points and really participate, I feel. However, there have been a few events since that party that I haven't even received word of. I would very much like to hang out with the "gang from work" more often, but I'm unsure if it's socially acceptable to bring this up.

- What is the most "socially-acceptable" method of telling or showing the guys from work that I'm interested in hanging out more? I've been there for about a year now, but should I simply give it more time, be friendly and participatory at work, and let them come to me with the invitations?

Both of these questions stem from a simple fact that I am very shy and poorly trained, mentally, for social interactions. I always have been, it's a fully diagnosed mental disorder (of which I have a very mild case) that simply keeps me from being comfortable in them. Given the two scenarios above, how would the lot of you recommend I go about trying to "fit in" better at work?
 

Mew The Gato

___________
So I've got a simpler, and hopefully less controversial, issue this time. Two, actually.

My work place is, overall, extremely casual when it comes to how close you are with your coworkers. While most work places, to my knowledge, consist of people who secretly loathe each other and make contact for no more than 8 hours a day, has tons of people who are great friends outside of work, a lot of whom met there, constantly hanging out for movies and parties, and sometimes even dating and getting married. Actually, two people who work in the same department as me are expecting their first baby on July 4th (irrelevant, I know, but it's so cool to me ^^; ). Don't worry, though, I'm not seeking romantic advice.

So, here's issue 1. I've become relatively close to four of my coworkers, though our friendships remain almost exclusive to work hours, and about 6 months ago added them all to Facebook. A couple days ago, one of the girls was telling me about her tattoos, and told me to look up one on her side (hence, she couldn't show me at work) on her Facebook account. When I went to her profile, though, I noticed that the "mutual friends" area didn't match up, and discovered that one of the other girls had since removed me from her friends' list. Now, I'm by no means a "friends' list junky," but the fact that she would remove me, despite us still being close and sharing many fun laughs and moments on the clock, has me feeling a bit... weird. If she didn't think of us as that good of friends, it's strange that she'd even accept my request in the first place. I am very interested in becoming close to her (not romantically) outside of work, as with the others, but I'm curious about this situation. It feels weird being 22-years-old and bringing up "Facebook Friend Status" as a problem, but I'm genuinely concerned that I may not have made a good impression on her.

- Should I bring this up to her? I'm afraid to, out of fear of coming off as "creepy" for noticing, or for starting middle-school level drama. Would it be uncalled for to simply ask her about it, or maybe even just send her another request and see what she does? Am I just over-thinking things, and the best course of action would be to just not worry about it?

My second question is related to the same scenario. About a month ago, I was invited to a third girl's 21st birthday party (as a side note, she's dating a guy, the fourth of the four people I feel I connected with). I arrived a bit late, embarrassingly, but we all had a good time, and despite my being more than a bit shy, I managed to step out of my shell at points and really participate, I feel. However, there have been a few events since that party that I haven't even received word of. I would very much like to hang out with the "gang from work" more often, but I'm unsure if it's socially acceptable to bring this up.

- What is the most "socially-acceptable" method of telling or showing the guys from work that I'm interested in hanging out more? I've been there for about a year now, but should I simply give it more time, be friendly and participatory at work, and let them come to me with the invitations?

Both of these questions stem from a simple fact that I am very shy and poorly trained, mentally, for social interactions. I always have been, it's a fully diagnosed mental disorder (of which I have a very mild case) that simply keeps me from being comfortable in them. Given the two scenarios above, how would the lot of you recommend I go about trying to "fit in" better at work?

First: I think that you should simply send her another Friend Request and not worry too much about it.

Second: I think that you should try to be even better friends with them, by being extra helpful and selfless to not just to them, but also others, because they will feel strange otherwise. They would try to be with you themselves! Be careful, though, they might make you their role model, follow you everywhere and copy all your actions!
 

hawkeye721

なんと素敵な歌!!!!!!!!
I'm so pissed off at everything and all I want is for a close freind of mine to get on, he always helped me through my anger, but he hasn't gotten on in over a month. And I am just so pissed at everything.

So basically I want someone to slap me in the face and calm me down.
 

Gelatino95

Not a tool
I'm so pissed off at everything and all I want is for a close freind of mine to get on, he always helped me through my anger, but he hasn't gotten on in over a month. And I am just so pissed at everything.

So basically I want someone to slap me in the face and calm me down.

*slap*

STOP BEING SAD

BE MORE HAPPY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
 

hawkeye721

なんと素敵な歌!!!!!!!!
I'm not sad I'm angry.

And great, another freind of mine has been dealing with insomnia, but she hasn't been trying to fall asleep, I told her to turn off her phone and try again for her health, and she basically said she hates me.
 

Super Llama

Aussie Poké Trainer
And great, another freind of mine has been dealing with insomnia, but she hasn't been trying to fall asleep, I told her to turn off her phone and try again for her health, and she basically said she hates me.
Maybe she feels that you don't understand what it's like to have insomnia. Try staying up with her one night and keep her company; if you feel they're worth it of course. I mean I'd really appreciate it if someone stayed up for me if I had insomnia, hmm.
 

hawkeye721

なんと素敵な歌!!!!!!!!
Maybe she feels that you don't understand what it's like to have insomnia. Try staying up with her one night and keep her company; if you feel they're worth it of course. I mean I'd really appreciate it if someone stayed up for me if I had insomnia, hmm.

I can't stay up with her, as if I miss an insulin dose I could die, I have been talking to her up until I need to fall asleep

I'm feeling alot better, I got her to go to sleep, still pretty bummed out about other stuff though.
 

Lord Zoroark

Master Tactician
I can't stay up with her, as if I miss an insulin dose I could die, I have been talking to her up until I need to fall asleep

I'm feeling alot better, I got her to go to sleep, still pretty bummed out about other stuff though.

Glad that she's feeling fixed up. Still, you could die if you miss a shot? I've missed a couple of shots in my life, and I haven't even been landed in the hospital.
 

Rayze Darr

Snubbull Supporter
Glad that she's feeling fixed up. Still, you could die if you miss a shot? I've missed a couple of shots in my life, and I haven't even been landed in the hospital.

Jonny's fairly newly diagnosed.

I can tell ya with all certainty, man, that (and I don't recommend this) I have missed entire days forgetting to take my insulin, and the doctors say that I'm one of the healthiest diabetics they've ever seen. Don't let the condition run your social life.

At the same time, if your friend is claiming to hate you just because you're worried about your health and wont stay up with her, then I think there are some issues on her end that she needs to work out. Friendship needs to go both ways, man. You can't be the only one who gives a care about the other.
 

hawkeye721

なんと素敵な歌!!!!!!!!
I'm feeling better after a good nights sleep, and my freind was really tired, she didn't really mean it. So I guess it worked itself out.
 

Roseheart95

El Psy Congroo
My second question is related to the same scenario. About a month ago, I was invited to a third girl's 21st birthday party (as a side note, she's dating a guy, the fourth of the four people I feel I connected with). I arrived a bit late, embarrassingly, but we all had a good time, and despite my being more than a bit shy, I managed to step out of my shell at points and really participate, I feel. However, there have been a few events since that party that I haven't even received word of. I would very much like to hang out with the "gang from work" more often, but I'm unsure if it's socially acceptable to bring this up.

- What is the most "socially-acceptable" method of telling or showing the guys from work that I'm interested in hanging out more? I've been there for about a year now, but should I simply give it more time, be friendly and participatory at work, and let them come to me with the invitations?

Why don't you try organising something, and inviting them along?
 

HetaOni

Chesaught
So I have been getting a bit depressed lately.
My entire class has been making fun of me since one kid randomly decided he hates me.
They do all sorts of awful things to me, and then when a teacher asks about it, they start playing dumb and the teacher never believes me. On top of that, whenever I stand up for myself, I get in trouble. I feel like everyone hates me...
No matter what I do, it seems like I cannot stop this from happening. So...does anyone else know what I should do?
 
So I have been getting a bit depressed lately.
My entire class has been making fun of me since one kid randomly decided he hates me.
They do all sorts of awful things to me, and then when a teacher asks about it, they start playing dumb and the teacher never believes me. On top of that, whenever I stand up for myself, I get in trouble. I feel like everyone hates me...
No matter what I do, it seems like I cannot stop this from happening. So...does anyone else know what I should do?

Well, I know how it feels, this is the story of my life... There's nothing you can do about it... At least, not on your own. I stopped trying to stand up for myself very quickly, that can at least prevent some trouble with teachers.

Maybe you can talk about this with a couselor at your school? I don't know if that could help, but if it's possible, you can give it a try. Maybe he/she can give you advice, or talk to your teacher about this.
 

Jb

Tsun in the streets
So I have been getting a bit depressed lately.
My entire class has been making fun of me since one kid randomly decided he hates me.
They do all sorts of awful things to me, and then when a teacher asks about it, they start playing dumb and the teacher never believes me. On top of that, whenever I stand up for myself, I get in trouble. I feel like everyone hates me...
No matter what I do, it seems like I cannot stop this from happening. So...does anyone else know what I should do?

keep standing up for yourself. the moment you stop, they win.

most schools have a zero tolerence bullying policy, bring a hiden phone camera, or voice recorder. after you get what you need leave class and go to guidance or the principals office
 
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keep standing up for yourself. the moment you stop, they win.

most schools have a zero tolerence bullying policy, bring a hiden phone camera, or voice recorder. after you get what you need leave class and go to guidance or the principals office

Well, if she gets in trouble for standing up for herself all the time, is it really worth it?

Most schools have a zero tolerance bullying policy? I wish that was true... I've been bullied for pretty much all my life, and the bullies have never been punished, aside from one super light punishment, only once...

@HetaOni, does your school have a zero tolerance bullying policy?
 

HetaOni

Chesaught
Oh I live in New Jersey, we have bullying laws. But still my school doesn't do sh*t.
My mom wrote letter to the school about this problem. We never got a response.
I want to stand up for myself no matter what, but I also don't want to get something that goes against my record. I once shoved past a kid who was bullying me and I almost got an in school suspension, but I got after school detention instead. For shoving someone.
 
Oh I live in New Jersey, we have bullying laws. But still my school doesn't do sh*t.
My mom wrote letter to the school about this problem. We never got a response.
I want to stand up for myself no matter what, but I also don't want to get something that goes against my record. I once shoved past a kid who was bullying me and I almost got an in school suspension, but I got after school detention instead. For shoving someone.

Well, then you might need to report this to the police. Instead of looking for solutions at school, using the law in your benefit could help.

Have you tried talking to a counselor? There's no gurantee that this helps, but you should at least try it once or twice. He/she might be able to give you advice, or help you with reporting this to the police.

That your school ignored that letter is a typical school thing: schools don't care about bullying.

Well, is standing up for yourself worth it if you get in big trouble every single time?

That's why you should secretly record the things they say/do. The school is required by law to take action.

Isn't that illegal? It goes against privacy laws...
 
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