The Official Advice Thread

[EmphaticPikachu]

stop talking to her, boot her out of the guild, ignore her are all valid options here

In my case, the only one thats even close to a valid option is Ignore her (when she gets like this). kjlfkjdf

I'm a little to invested into this to do something like that. I don't even own the guild anyway and honestly, when she's not over-reacting she's fine (she's gotten better at it at least...). >3> <3<

I would rather fix her or teach her the error of her ways >3> But I guess that IS valid advice...ugh. Not one I like doe.

 

[THRILLHO]

I would rather fix her

lo l

 

[EmphaticPikachu]

lo l

I'm not even sure why you're laughing at me but whatever.

 

[Pesky Persian]

You can't fix people who don't want to be fixed, man. And it's not your job to "fix" someone. How often does she overreact and bug people? Sone people just don'tmesh well with the rest of the guild. And if that's the case, gkick'ing her is definitely a viable option. Nothing personal, just some people aren't a good fit. If you don't want to be the bad guy (and/or don't want to talk the GM or an Officer into being the bad guy) put her on ignore. Those are kind of your two options.

 

[EmphaticPikachu]

You can't fix people who don't want to be fixed, man. And it's not your job to "fix" someone. How often does she overreact and bug people? Sone people just don'tmesh well with the rest of the guild. And if that's the case, gkick'ing her is definitely a viable option. Nothing personal, just some people aren't a good fit. If you don't want to be the bad guy (and/or don't want to talk the GM or an Officer into being the bad guy) put her on ignore. Those are kind of your two options.

Looking at my post, I don't think I said it was my "job" to fix her, and if I implied it I'm very sorry. sdjkjsfkjds

But I do have a preference for how I like to do things, since I'm a little "too" helpful sometimes. Throwing them under the bus and telling them to go away is not how I want to do it (which is what I feel like I'm doing if I guild kick her), but I will ask her if she feels too unconformable there and wants to leave. There are times where I know she feels alienated by the talks about competitive gaming that she just doesn't get. (This is an elsword guild not a pokemon guild, so the competitive aspect isn't as intertwined as it is in pokemon guilds.) but otherwise...She communicates fine with us when she's not over reacting.

I don't think it's the most frustrating thing in the world (Like we COULD deal with it), but she still does it. And it breaks the atmosphere when she does...

I'm not sure though, when is it too much? Part of why I'm here I guess. I just don't know...Is it really all feeling based? If it "feels" like to much, we should do so and kick her?

 

[THRILLHO]

she also has preferences for how she likes to do things, which is why you can't 'fix' someone like this. if you want to not sever from them about the best you can do is have serious words with them about how they're acting. this would be most effective obviously if you aren't the only one who feels this way

 

[Hakajin]

Ok, so I've got a sleep problem, a pretty specific one. The problem is that I'm really, really self-aware, and recently, every time I start falling asleep, I think, oh, I'm falling asleep now, and it wakes me back up. And then I'm like waiting to fall asleep... It's not a problem with sleep hygiene or anything like that, because I haven't changed anything. Apparently this is pretty common. Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, do you know what to do about it?

 

[好きなぼうし]

Ok, so I've got a sleep problem, a pretty specific one. The problem is that I'm really, really self-aware, and recently, every time I start falling asleep, I think, oh, I'm falling asleep now, and it wakes me back up. And then I'm like waiting to fall asleep... It's not a problem with sleep hygiene or anything like that, because I haven't changed anything. Apparently this is pretty common. Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, do you know what to do about it?

I have this problem sometimes. I just try to make a story in my head and keep it going until I fall asleep. Usually, I wake up and don't remember where my story left off so it gives me the chance to use it again the next night. hope this helps.

 

[Hakajin]

I have this problem sometimes. I just try to make a story in my head and keep it going until I fall asleep. Usually, I wake up and don't remember where my story left off so it gives me the chance to use it again the next night. hope this helps.

Yeah, that's what I've always done, and I've been trying to keep doing it, but I still tend to jump into thinking about sleeping... what I've been trying to do is force myself back into the story. Seemed to work the other night... anyway, thanks!

EDIT: I've since found that it helps to go to bed earlier, because then I'm not worried about how long I have to sleep.

 

[Archsage]

So, I've got to get my wisdom teeth removed soon, no other options. The trouble is, I literally cannot get any sort of injection/vaccination without sobbing and panicking because of the needle, and it requires me to have an IV. My other option is to do it at he hospital, a place that freaks me out, and have them use the gas to knock me out and then use an IV, plus the idea of having teeth ripped out of my mouth is horrible. I just flat-out panic when it's brought up (I started sobbing when I had to discuss it with the dentist), and just typing about it is freaking me out. Does anyone who's gone through it/have the same fears have any advice for calming down and not flipping out when it's mentioned?

 

[Playful Latios]

So, I've got to get my wisdom teeth removed soon, no other options. The trouble is, I literally cannot get any sort of injection/vaccination without sobbing and panicking because of the needle, and it requires me to have an IV. My other option is to do it at he hospital, a place that freaks me out, and have them use the gas to knock me out and then use an IV, plus the idea of having teeth ripped out of my mouth is horrible. I just flat-out panic when it's brought up (I started sobbing when I had to discuss it with the dentist), and just typing about it is freaking me out. Does anyone who's gone through it/have the same fears have any advice for calming down and not flipping out when it's mentioned?

I had my wisdom teeth removed shortly after I became an adult. I was put under anesthesia for the procedure. You won't feel anything until after you wake back up. You will get sent home with pain medication or at least I was. Try just slowing breathing in and out to calm down. It might help if you don't look at the needle when they are about to poke you.

 

[Zazie]

So, I've got to get my wisdom teeth removed soon, no other options. The trouble is, I literally cannot get any sort of injection/vaccination without sobbing and panicking because of the needle, and it requires me to have an IV. My other option is to do it at he hospital, a place that freaks me out, and have them use the gas to knock me out and then use an IV, plus the idea of having teeth ripped out of my mouth is horrible. I just flat-out panic when it's brought up (I started sobbing when I had to discuss it with the dentist), and just typing about it is freaking me out. Does anyone who's gone through it/have the same fears have any advice for calming down and not flipping out when it's mentioned?

If you can find an oral surgeon who is better at dealing with people who are afraid of needles that would probably help. That's what I had to do and it did help a lot. The person who is performing the surgery can really make a difference if they are good at keeping patients calm. It's something down to luck however, since location and possibly insurance can limit options.

 

[Glaceon2000]

I'm new to the site, and I want to post on things, I just can't think of anything. I feel that no matter what I post it won't add anything to the topic because my posts are so short. What should I do about this? Did anyone else have this problem when they were new? Thanks.

 

[Dragonair7]

I'm new to the site, and I want to post on things, I just can't think of anything. I feel that no matter what I post it won't add anything to the topic because my posts are so short. What should I do about this? Did anyone else have this problem when they were new? Thanks.

Yeah, I lurked forever before I finally got up the nerve to post, because I didn't want to sound like a total noob.
The best way to get over this is to just post! If you are worried about your posts being to short, try to set a goal, like two lines written. Hitting the "Reply with Quote" button helps, because then you can respond to a person's post or talk about it more.
If you are shy and don't want to do that, then you can post in a really popular thread, one that has a lot of replies, and it won't stand out. Try being interesting and make new points, or at least embellish the points you are making.
Also, post about what interests you. Find something you really like and frequent that forum.

 

[Glaceon2000]

Yeah, I lurked forever before I finally got up the nerve to post, because I didn't want to sound like a total noob.
The best way to get over this is to just post! If you are worried about your posts being to short, try to set a goal, like two lines written. Hitting the "Reply with Quote" button helps, because then you can respond to a person's post or talk about it more.
If you are shy and don't want to do that, then you can post in a really popular thread, one that has a lot of replies, and it won't stand out. Try being interesting and make new points, or at least embellish the points you are making.
Also, post about what interests you. Find something you really like and frequent that forum.

I lurked for a while too, I didn't know that posting would be so hard. I always thought of all the things I would say when I joined, but for some reason I can't now. I'll get used to it though, thank you for your advice

 

[Sceptile Master]

Man, I've been coming here a lot.
So, this time though [to try and keep it short anyway]: One of my bud's birthdays is coming up next weekend. I don't appear to be as close to him as some of his other friends, but lately he's become [at least in my eyes] a pretty good friend of mine, and I think he deserves something, I dunno. But I really have no idea what to give him: I know a good amount of the stuff he likes, but I couldn't think of anything in time that wouldn't really seem tacky or childish to give him, even if he would like it. I'm not sure if there's anything else I could buy for him in time that'd make it here in time, so all I can really think of is a prepaid Visa card or something (which I'm sure he'd still appreciate).
Not sure if that sounds like a good idea or not, but... how would I present it? Him, me, and a bunch of friends have our club the day before his birthday at school so we're planning to do a little something for him, and I'd figure since he hasn't mentioned anything about doing anything at his house, I'd give him it there. It is true, I do kinda like him a bit, so I can't really say I want to present the gift in a way that'd "give people the wrong idea" ; after all, that's basically almost how I feel. But, even if it is just a giftcard, I don't want to present it in a way that would probably give him or people hints? (I don't think it's the right time to approach him about that yet.) I kinda don't want to get him a formal card either since that might seem, well, too forma [or give off hints] so unless I make a silly one myself or something [which he'd be the kind of person to probably be okay with it], I dunno what to do to.

tl;dr : Friend's birthday next weekend, need to give him present [giftcard?] in school ; want to present it in a way that shows I cared and didn't just pick this because I was lazy, but not in a way that gives off any hints.

Forgive me for the wall of text, and if that didn't make sense.

 

[Roseheart95]

Man, I've been coming here a lot.
So, this time though [to try and keep it short anyway]: One of my bud's birthdays is coming up next weekend. I don't appear to be as close to him as some of his other friends, but lately he's become [at least in my eyes] a pretty good friend of mine, and I think he deserves something, I dunno. But I really have no idea what to give him: I know a good amount of the stuff he likes, but I couldn't think of anything in time that wouldn't really seem tacky or childish to give him, even if he would like it. I'm not sure if there's anything else I could buy for him in time that'd make it here in time, so all I can really think of is a prepaid Visa card or something (which I'm sure he'd still appreciate).
Not sure if that sounds like a good idea or not, but... how would I present it? Him, me, and a bunch of friends have our club the day before his birthday at school so we're planning to do a little something for him, and I'd figure since he hasn't mentioned anything about doing anything at his house, I'd give him it there. It is true, I do kinda like him a bit, so I can't really say I want to present the gift in a way that'd "give people the wrong idea" ; after all, that's basically almost how I feel. But, even if it is just a giftcard, I don't want to present it in a way that would probably give him or people hints? (I don't think it's the right time to approach him about that yet.) I kinda don't want to get him a formal card either since that might seem, well, too forma [or give off hints] so unless I make a silly one myself or something [which he'd be the kind of person to probably be okay with it], I dunno what to do to.

tl;dr : Friend's birthday next weekend, need to give him present [giftcard?] in school ; want to present it in a way that shows I cared and didn't just pick this because I was lazy, but not in a way that gives off any hints.

Forgive me for the wall of text, and if that didn't make sense.

One thing I've learned recently regarding this kind of thing, is not to over-think it. If you think a giftcard's the best bet, then go with it, and just giving it at the gathering seems fair enough. The other person probably won't read as much into anything as you are thinking about it.

 

[Vernikova]

tl;dr : Friend's birthday next weekend, need to give him present [giftcard?] in school ; want to present it in a way that shows I cared and didn't just pick this because I was lazy, but not in a way that gives off any hints.

Just give him money. It's the best present you can give someone that you're not in a relationship with. Give it to them in an envelope.

 

[Roseheart95]

Just give him money. It's the best present you can give someone that you're not in a relationship with. Give it to them in an envelope.

However, money does seem quite like you don't know what to get them. I'd say a giftcard is a step up from that, to be honest. Although, as far as I can tell from my male friends, giving each other money is quite common, and doesn't necessarily mean you're not close - it's just a male way of doing things (at least for them).

Don't know, just throwing some more info/opinion out there.

 

[Vernikova]

However, money does seem quite like you don't know what to get them. I'd say a giftcard is a step up from that, to be honest. Although, as far as I can tell from my male friends, giving each other money is quite common, and doesn't necessarily mean you're not close - it's just a male way of doing things (at least for them).

Don't know, just throwing some more info/opinion out there.

I think money gives more flexibility than gift cards, and it's something I've seen both genders give to their friends. What if the guy gives them a bad gift card? Then it's useless. No one's ever been mad that they got free money after all.