The Official Advice Thread

[sanae]

P.F. Changs?

 

[Sgeckledorf Spoongeblorb]

Hey forum, I want to eat spaghetti tonight, but I also want to eat chicken. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!

Chicken parm on spaghetti, of course.

 

[sanae]

I suggest Cymbalta.

 

[Sgeckledorf Spoongeblorb]

Send her an emvelope of anthrax, of course!

 

[Moneyy]

My friend recently lost her granfather at first she seemed ok but the more time passes the worst she seems to get. She wakes up in the morning and is sick and sometimes she can spend the whole day being ill. She cries at random and sometimes it can be small things that set her off. I'm worried because when i was talking to her she said she feels life is pointless. She keeps thinking upsetting things which make her worry untill she can't think straight. She's been to a doctor and he said there's nothing wrong with her. She's not the same person anymore it feels like we're losing her. Can anyone help?

Well, maybe you should take on the task of cheering her up if you know what I mean.

 

[Zappy!]

My friend recently lost her granfather at first she seemed ok but the more time passes the worst she seems to get. She wakes up in the morning and is sick and sometimes she can spend the whole day being ill. She cries at random and sometimes it can be small things that set her off. I'm worried because when i was talking to her she said she feels life is pointless. She keeps thinking upsetting things which make her worry untill she can't think straight. She's been to a doctor and he said there's nothing wrong with her. She's not the same person anymore it feels like we're losing her. Can anyone help?

I'm not totally sure about this, but here's my opinion on the matter. Grief is a thing she needs to deal with herself. Anyways, she needs to, "let go," of her grandfather, little by little. By letting go of items he may have owned etc. she'd be letting go of him, while also letting the grief dissipate. Furthermore, she could also just try to keep busy with tasks or hobbies, so that by focusing on other things, rather than her grief, she'll have time to emotionally heal. That should also stop her from thinking those upsetting things you mentioned. Is she religious? Does she have any spiritual beliefs? She could try talking to the head of her church etc. about how she's feeling, or simply try meditation. That may also give her hope about her grandfather and "life after death," if she believes in that, for instance. If she's not religious, then maybe she could join a support group. Being able to relate to others and how they're feeling may help also.

 

[bel9]

Ignoring the post above, I have a need for help.

I am a Boy Scout of America. I am currently 14/15 years old, and the next Jamboree is in 2013. Its really expensive to go, but i don't know. This would be the only time i could go, and i have a Disney trip in Junior year which is also pretty expensive, what should i do? Go to both, go to one or the other? I don't know.

I've never been to either one but people I know traveled to both and had fun at each place.

Hope that helped!

I suppose since you're on a Pokemon forum and are possibly a one hundred percenter I'll tell you that at Jamboree you can trade National Jamboree patches- each usually containing some form of nerdy reference- with troops from all over the country.

You can always try a Disney trip some other time. Jamborees aren't as frequent.

 

[Willow's Tara]

I would like some advice about how a girl can tell if you like them or not. I posted in Bulbagarden in my blog as well so I am going to quote it (Yes I am too lazy to write it all out, sue me).

Well, how do girls know you like them? Is there some sign or some really obivous thing that makes you know? I will tell you why I am asking.

If you have read my blog you know there's one girl I like.

Well lately I have been wondering what if this girl already knows I like her? Or catching on that I do? Like there's this other girl I used to like and my friend had told me eventually she was getting suspicious that I liked her, never knew how or why she managed to catch that (I didn't talk to her much, I was still shy at that point to talk to her).

There was another time years back in Year 11, with this girl I thought I was in love with (Don't think so), now I had sent her secret admirer letters with gifts so maybe that's how she figured out I liked her, might be because I also had told a couple of people, one who found out by accident. (There's also a chance when I was having a private conversation in the library with a friend, the girl's friends's boyfriends might have overheard me because they were close by but I did not see them due to a bookshelf and they were sitting).

But she found out anyways. Not sure how though never did found out (There was a girl in the 8th grade I fell in love with but she found out when a friend accidentally told her).

So how do you girls know? Are there like obivous signs or do you just know? Is there any way not to be obivous or give away you like them.

With this girl there's a chance she could know. She lives in Sweden though and left in July, I started liking her right before then, (We are friends) and it would be hard to tell over Facebook... right? But before she left I gave her a watch and a Koala toy (The watch was so she could see what time it was in Australia, the Koala was just like don't forget us in Australia haha).

So any advice from anyone out there?

 

[treespyro]

Well being an Australian myself I can say get her drunk...it's a joke.

Seriously just go for it dude, I've done it heaps of times. It will not work sometimes and It will but you don't know that till it happens.

How would you know a girl likes you? She tells you. You may think she is flirting but she could be playing around. Women are weird.

 

[Qmaz246]

I've never picked up any women, but i know that if your hanging out with her, and she likes to, then you should ask her. Don't go for the "I must impress her!" type thing.

 

[Ocarus]

I would like some advice about how a girl can tell if you like them or not. I posted in Bulbagarden in my blog as well so I am going to quote it (Yes I am too lazy to write it all out, sue me).

As said before, you should ask her, just try not to be weird.

(Well, this may sound like it's all blabber, but be more confident (by confident I don't mean an arrogant "female dog", just be yourself, in the purest way of it), believe in me, you'll start to feel better and make the ones around you as good as you think you are.
I think mostly everyone here passed their first teenage years where everything seemed misplaced, but believe me, once you start to pump the engine, you'll go way faster than you thought before, worked for me, and it still does.
Also, don't picture youself just now with "the girl", or "that girl", you'll come first, and try to be frontal, yet sweet.)

 

[Willow's Tara]

I think I must have wrote that wrong. Thanks for the advice but I meant like, you know how you like a girl and keeps it a secret, but somehow she always finds out or figures it out and you have no clue why? That's what I mean, hows does a girl know that you usually like them? Is it in the expressions? The tone? Do they know these things?

 

[Ocarus]

I think I must have wrote that wrong. Thanks for the advice but I meant like, you know how you like a girl and keeps it a secret, but somehow she always finds out or figures it out and you have no clue why? That's what I mean, hows does a girl know that you usually like them? Is it in the expressions? The tone? Do they know these things?

If you're even willing to post here asking for advice, then I can assure you that you couldn't fake it if you were with her, the same thing would happen if a girl fell in love with you.

 

[pirate555]

I think I must have wrote that wrong. Thanks for the advice but I meant like, you know how you like a girl and keeps it a secret, but somehow she always finds out or figures it out and you have no clue why? That's what I mean, hows does a girl know that you usually like them? Is it in the expressions? The tone? Do they know these things?

As a girl I'm pretty darned naive when it comes to spotting a secret admirer (I've had hardly any, but they have existed). The few that I did suspect which turned out to be true gave themselves away by:

a) Daily attention in any possible way, whether a text, social network communication, suggesting meeting up
b) Deliberately moving conversation to the topic of romance. This has been anything from guys talking about past crushes regularly to guys hypothesising what my parents would think about them. On the whole, men aren't overly open about their personal lives unless they want to force trust and create a connection.
c) Copying my habits. Whether it's common phrases I use, starting to use the same gestures, writing differently in emails. I didn't notice this before, but people who liked me in the past definitely picked up my gestures and way of speaking, it's strange.
d) My friends twigging before I did and telling me. A friendship group or friend often senses a different sort of relationship between 2 'friends' before at least one of the 'friends' notices it.

So yeah, most of it is down to the nuances of how you communicate with girls you like. Even if she's blind enough not to realise, her friends might, and they'll let her know their suspicions.

 

[AuraSphere]

If you don't want the person to know you like them: act normal, pretend you don't even know the person. Walk past, go on with life as if nothing's happening. At least, that's what I do.

 

[Willow's Tara]

Ocarus- One thing I am not in love with her, I just like her but yeah you got a point. Guess I just have to live with it if she figures out I like her, she's a nice girl anyways a friend to boot so I doubt she would make a big deal about it.

pirate- Oh yeah that makes sense as well, I haven't really done much of that, far as I know we haven't really spoken about romance (Unless it came up on it's own and wasn't suddenly). A might be one though.

AS- Sure, that would work. If you know, I wasn't already friends with this girl, not sure how close but she's fine hugging me and talking to me on FB first, so I believe we are getting to be good friends, to do something like that would only hurt her.

 

[RobertStyx]

I'm not usually one to ask for advice, but I think I need some help, and I don't want to seek professional help unless I NEED to.
Any ways, I think that I've developed an internet addiction. One that I need to break, as it is badly interfering with my university work and hobbies. I've broken various addictions before in the past, but for some reason I can't break this one. I'm fairly certain as well that it is at its root, caused by my depression, and possibly my social anxiety. That's where my previous addictions have come from, though I don't think that is the only cause in this case. I don't know what the other causes could be however.
Any ways, could I please have some advice on how I could break this addiction, and possibly gain the motivation to get off the internet and stop procrastinating and do my work? Any advice/help would be very much appreciated!

 

[Snorunt conservationist]

I'm not usually one to ask for advice, but I think I need some help, and I don't want to seek professional help unless I NEED to.
Any ways, I think that I've developed an internet addiction. One that I need to break, as it is badly interfering with my university work and hobbies. I've broken various addictions before in the past, but for some reason I can't break this one. I'm fairly certain as well that it is at its root, caused by my depression, and possibly my social anxiety. That's where my previous addictions have come from, though I don't think that is the only cause in this case. I don't know what the other causes could be however.
Any ways, could I please have some advice on how I could break this addiction, and possibly gain the motivation to get off the internet and stop procrastinating and do my work? Any advice/help would be very much appreciated!

Man the **** up? Seriously there is a time and place where this just needs to be said. If you're depressed then seek counselling. If not then just do the work you're set.

 

[Priceless]

Man the **** up? Seriously there is a time and place where this just needs to be said. If you're depressed then seek counselling. If not then just do the work you're set.

Easy for you to say, you haven't experienced that **** he's gone through have you

 

[Snorunt conservationist]

Easy for you to say, you haven't experienced that **** he's gone through have you

Actually genius, I have. I have had several stress related illnesses (this should read several bouts of a stress related blah blah blah) that severely affected my ability to work, have had a bout of depression (for which I needed counselling) and find many social situations to be incredibly awkward.

At no time did I not do my work because of it. I manned up and wrote my essays to an exceedingly high standard because I don't rely on excuses.

As I said, if he's genuinely depressed, he needs counselling. If he's simply procrastinating and blaming it on an "internet addiction", he needa a little thing called willpower.