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The Official Advice Thread
- Thread starter Mariya Shidou
- Start date
Ropav
Howls of Loneliness
ok thank-you.
TheZoruaBreeder
Shiny Hunting
Any tips for dealing with anxiety and depression?
Let's just say my father did something very bad and now my parents are filing for a divorce, also, my mother has heart attack symptoms.
I am worried as f***
Let's just say my father did something very bad and now my parents are filing for a divorce, also, my mother has heart attack symptoms.
I am worried as f***
kaiser soze
Reading ADWD
Make a list of adults and friends you can trust, then go to them and tell them what's going on. Hopefully your school has a guidance counselor you can talk to, or a teacher who understands you. Also, you might want to take up a hobby or something to take your mind off of it.
I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess your dad had an affair. Remember, it's not your fault your parents are filing for divorce. About 50% of marriages end in divorce these days; you're one of the unlucky ones. There's probably not much you can do to help your parents out, so don't focus on that. Focus on you. Make the most of your life. Just because your life sucks right now doesn't mean it will suck forever. Sooner or later you'll be out on your parents won't be there for you even if they weren't divorced. Don't focus on your past, get ready for your future. Also, if you have siblings, take care of them, they're probably even more afraid than you are. Try to make things easier for your mom too; don't try to upset her heart.
iFi Salamander
I'm a vampire!
1. As as a guy I am going to say you come off whiny and seem to lack confidence. (No offense) My first advice is if you want him you should quit doing that.
2. The reality is if after all those things nothing has happened yet, you're almost certainly friend-zoned since you didn't make a move.
3. http://christianmingle.com/single
Just going to assume since you are asking for advice over the internet that link feels relevant.
4. You are a grad student? Aren't you a little old to be this shy with romance? Have you had almost no relationships?
I hope I didn't come off as mean but that is really just how it appears to me.
2. The reality is if after all those things nothing has happened yet, you're almost certainly friend-zoned since you didn't make a move.
3. http://christianmingle.com/single
Just going to assume since you are asking for advice over the internet that link feels relevant.
4. You are a grad student? Aren't you a little old to be this shy with romance? Have you had almost no relationships?
I hope I didn't come off as mean but that is really just how it appears to me.
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I hope you weren't answering TheZoruaBreeder's question...
varanus_komodoensis
they call me Varanus
He was talking to me.
I figured s/he was referring to someone else, but s/he didn't quote, so I was just giving a hard time.
Anyway, I guess I should ask for advice about something. A few years ago, my dad and my stepmom got a divorce. My stepmom and I had never really gotten along very well in the time her and my dad were together, which also affected my relationship with my dad (her attitude was influencing his). Now that she is hardly in my life anymore, - aside from things relating to my half-siblings- I am a lot more happier, but at the same time, I've been thinking a lot about what she's put me through, and it's just too hard to not think about. I've been able to put the past behind me for most other circumstances, but for some reason, this just keeps sticking out to me. What should I do?
iFi Salamander
I'm a vampire!
Don't think about it. If she is out of your life there is no part worrying.
PS: I did quote but she wanted me to delete it.
varanus_komodoensis
they call me Varanus
It's not that I'm worried. It's that I can't put it behind me. My stepmom didn't get along very well with me and my brothers, but out of all of them, I had the worst relationship. She always yelled at me more than she did my brothers and I was usually always received the brunt of her criticism, even going as far as yelling at me in public. The worst part of it all was that my dad usually took her side up until they divorced. She's just one of the most unpleasant, insensitive people I've ever been around.
I guess me ruminating about her is going to happen for a while, but what I am asking is how can I minimize the stress that I feel from thinking about her?
Pokémon Trainer Xande
Yu-Gi-Oh Duelist
Ok, JoshYEAH said something about me stop posting on the old thread, I sweared I wouldn't, but I eventually stopped. So far, I'm gone resume my life:
* Brazilian
* 14 years old
* Nerd and proud of it
* Never was on a relationship
With this in mind, I will tell the other part of the history. So, I was living in a City 400 Km away from my actual city. I was going to ask to start a relationship with my best female friend, and I was going to be feeling like WOW, because I love her [Yep, 14, and I love her]. But, my mom started to think about moving away, so I had to quicken things up, and she "friendzoned" me. I'm "friendzoned" to this very day, but things changed and we are as close friends as Facebook let us be. But now I've got new friends, and a nice girl which is with a broken heart. She broke with her boyfriend and a guy that she kinda had a crush on started dating her best friend. So, I got really close to her, and I kinda feel sort of like when I was with my old friend from 400 Km away. I was trying just to be friend with the new girl [I will call them T.N.C. (The New Crush - Can 't find best nickname) and M.B.F. (My Best Friend)]. Well, I was talking with T.N.C., and she told me M.B.F. had a crush for SOMEBODY, which she didn 't specify. I'm feeling kinda bad, because T.N.C. 's ex-boyfriend still loves her, and I don 't feel that way about her. In the other side, I can 't just go further with M.B.F. and make she feel bad for me and don 't get a boyfriend because of me. But I also can 't keep without the any girl to fight for, since I would them become a sociopatic guy again, and that isn 't what I want, now that I have friends who care for me. What should I do?
* Brazilian
* 14 years old
* Nerd and proud of it
* Never was on a relationship
With this in mind, I will tell the other part of the history. So, I was living in a City 400 Km away from my actual city. I was going to ask to start a relationship with my best female friend, and I was going to be feeling like WOW, because I love her [Yep, 14, and I love her]. But, my mom started to think about moving away, so I had to quicken things up, and she "friendzoned" me. I'm "friendzoned" to this very day, but things changed and we are as close friends as Facebook let us be. But now I've got new friends, and a nice girl which is with a broken heart. She broke with her boyfriend and a guy that she kinda had a crush on started dating her best friend. So, I got really close to her, and I kinda feel sort of like when I was with my old friend from 400 Km away. I was trying just to be friend with the new girl [I will call them T.N.C. (The New Crush - Can 't find best nickname) and M.B.F. (My Best Friend)]. Well, I was talking with T.N.C., and she told me M.B.F. had a crush for SOMEBODY, which she didn 't specify. I'm feeling kinda bad, because T.N.C. 's ex-boyfriend still loves her, and I don 't feel that way about her. In the other side, I can 't just go further with M.B.F. and make she feel bad for me and don 't get a boyfriend because of me. But I also can 't keep without the any girl to fight for, since I would them become a sociopatic guy again, and that isn 't what I want, now that I have friends who care for me. What should I do?
varanus_komodoensis
they call me Varanus
Okay, first of all, JoshYEAH isn't a mod, so you don't have to do what he says. You can post in whatever thread you want to, and if he bullies you, you can report him.
On to your issue. You're 14; you're very young. I think you're a little too young to be in a relationship because once you're in high school and college, you probably won't even know these girls anymore. Your story confuses me a little; is your best friend still 400 km away? And how do TNC and MBF know each other if they live 400 km away from each other?
At 14, being in a relationship with MBF is going to be REALLY difficult because you will never see her. You aren't old enough to drive yet (18 in Brazil, right?). As for TNC, you need to give her time to get over her boyfriend and for her boyfriend to get over her. If you jump into a relationship with her too soon, you're going to confuse her emotionally and her ex will think that she left him for you, which could cause problems. Furthermore, you said that you're "in love" with MBF, but you "kind of feel sort of like" you love TNC. Well, I think you need go to from "kind of feel sort of like" to "I really like" before you date TNC. Especially with her emotions all tangled right now.
Pokémon Trainer Xande
Yu-Gi-Oh Duelist
Thanks, thanks and, god, thanks.
They are friends because of Facebook
I 'm not bullied by JoshYEAH, it was just a comment he added to a post one day
And, again, thanks. That's why I loved the old thread, you always get the help you need
Electrolled
Well-Known Member
Uh, hi.
I get a ton of headaches and they're really bad. They happen randomly and I don't know why. Can anyone give me some suggestions on how to stop them? I'm not sure if it's a migraine or just a regular headache.
Also, I get carsick when I drive with a bad driver or for a long time. How do I stop that? Yeah, it sounds like I'm pretty frail and sickly, but I don't think anyone even knows about this except my parents. I don't really show it to people.
I get a ton of headaches and they're really bad. They happen randomly and I don't know why. Can anyone give me some suggestions on how to stop them? I'm not sure if it's a migraine or just a regular headache.
Also, I get carsick when I drive with a bad driver or for a long time. How do I stop that? Yeah, it sounds like I'm pretty frail and sickly, but I don't think anyone even knows about this except my parents. I don't really show it to people.
varanus_komodoensis
they call me Varanus
I'm no doctor, but it sounds like you have migraines. Are your headaches triggered by long, high-pitched, or "screech-like" noises, really bright lights, or looking at screens too long? Migraines run in my family and I have the same thing. I just take Aleve whenever I get them and that handles it for me, but some people have such bad migraines that they need special prescription migraine pain medication for it. You should go to a doctor and find out if you need that.
And getting carsick is totally normal. It happens to a lot of people. I'm pretty sure that it can also be a symptom associated with people who have chronic migraines, but I'm not sure.
Electrolled
Well-Known Member
My headaches are caused by a lot of things. I do hear high pitched noises almost all the time when a TV is on in my house, but it doesn't really bother me much. I guess it does in the long run.
I'll get headaches when I am up too long too, but I already fixed that by going to bed a little earlier. After practice, I had a headache, and that one was really bad, so next time, I'll just try to take an Aleve. If that doesn't work, I'll go to a doctor.
Thanks for the advice!
I'll get headaches when I am up too long too, but I already fixed that by going to bed a little earlier. After practice, I had a headache, and that one was really bad, so next time, I'll just try to take an Aleve. If that doesn't work, I'll go to a doctor.
Thanks for the advice!
Chrysaries
Former shiny trader
These diseases that runs in families sound pretty horrible. I guess it's getting more common over time aswell, since nature before modern time would have whiped out the diseased
The Benmeister
Master of Magnet
I went through something similar and I felt pretty bad about it for eight months, even though it was all in the past. It will disappear eventually, until then, just try and hang around with friends or acquaintances more, that usually helps. Maybe take up a hobby or join a club to keep your mind off it, generic advice I know, but it works. You'll probably still think about it at night time before you sleep, which I usually did, but not much you can do about that. Stay off it for long enough and it will go, it'll still be in the back of your mind but it won't bother you nearly as much.
I'd probably visit that Doctor straight away. Worst case scenario it could be a Brain Tumor and you'd obviously want to discover that as soon as possible. Although headaches aren't always a symptom of Brain Tumors, there are things like weakness of arms/legs and changes in your vision/hearing too. Hopefully it won't be this, but it's always best to get checked ASAP!