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The Official Advice Thread
- Thread starter Mariya Shidou
- Start date
HolyNova Lucario
Average as average can be
Hey I have a girl in my school who is always staring at me and seems to be in the same place I am, is she a stalker? believe me I like a girl taking notice of me but I feel uneasy. She is quite the looker as well. What should I do? Approach her or just wait for how things will turn out
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hawkeye721
なんと素敵な歌!!!!!!!!
She want's you, just say hey to her.
WarriorPrince
Chaos
She wants the d. Give her the d.
jk. Just speak to her one day (sooner rather than later) and see where it goes from there.
This for every question ever asked here. Poundtown is always the solution.
hawkeye721
なんと素敵な歌!!!!!!!!
I'm so gonna sig this tomorrow.
So my girlfriend recently broke up with me for the second time (I know I was stupid for giving her the second chance). Anyways she wanted to still be friends so I said okay whatever because at that point I really didn't care about her or anything to do with her. The problem is she still constantly texts me acting like we're great friends even though I've made it apparent that we're on a trial basis as far as the friendship goes on top of that she still tries to act like she has any influence over my life and its really starting to get old. I've told her multiple times to stop, but that just turns into arguments. My question is what is the best way to get this chick to chill the **** out? I'd like to keep an amicable relationship with her because we work at the same store so I don't want to make things awkward there.
WarriorPrince
Chaos
Three different approaches. Or you could do it in steps.
1. Calmly and respectfully explain the situation. You gave her second chance, she's being obnoxious, and whatsoever.
2. Ignore her. Don't take her advice seriously, and make it slightly apparent that you're not interested in what she has to say. Subtly..... but make it visible. She'll get the hint whether she admits it or not.
3. Just tell her to *** off. This is what I would do (albeit in a civilized yet brutal manner), but I wouldn't have given her a second chance anyway. You don't have to be as cold as some (myself as well as others) probably would, but you need to clearly establish your boundaries or she'll just keep doing it.
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Rayze Darr
Snubbull Supporter
I can answer your problem with a scenario I was in. My best friend in the whole world is, in fact, my ex. As for my other exes, well... I'm only in contact with one of them. Most of the others I tried to remain friends with, but each friendship failed for one reason or another. One of them relapsed and, while I was dating the girl who's now my BFF, spent the entire relationship trying to seduce me. Another one became close to a legitimate stalker, following me to every class, nonstop calling and texting me, and even having our mutual friends keep tabs on me and my love life, often growing hateful to girls that I showed interest in. By the time my last two exes came around, I had learned my lesson.
So, from my experiment of friendships with four different ex-girlfriends, one became my best friend, one became a good friend, one dedicated a sizeable amount of time trying to ruin my other relationships, and one had me considering a restraining order. Do you want to know what I did differently with the two who are still my friends? Easy.
With those two exes, I did not try and stay friends with them.
The two ex-girlfriends I have that are still my friends I gave space. I assumed that all contact would be severed and, instead of trying to force something, let life take its course. As for the two that I consciously attempted to remain friends with, well... tragedy struck.
Case and point, if you have to try to be friends with her, then it's not going to work out. If the two of you are compatible as friends, then your personalities will slowly push you back together in that regard, but trying to force friendships where romance once loomed is, in my personal experience, guarenteed to fail.
As Dj06 said, either stop showing interest, explain to her that she's being annoying, or tell her to go screw a cactus.
Try to calmly talk to her about the situation and if that doesn't work just ignore her for a while or so, just to let her know she doesn't control your life or you. I mean it sucks that you can't really avoid her since you work together. Just try not to give her much attention.
I'm thirteen. I'll say that now, because it's important. Main thing is, if you're going to tell me I'm too young for this, don't waste your time.
Now, on to the problem. This girl I really like... let's call her Emily for the sake of story telling. This girl, Emily, she's in grade eight, I'm in grade seven. I'm really good friends with her, even though we only started talking about a month ago. She told me she likes me, I like her, but we're both afraid of a relationship because of past events. Now, the problem is, she cuts, and I cut. I've been cutting for a short while now, but when I found out she started cutting, I made a deal with her. If she doesn't cut, I won't cut, and she agreed. She broke our promise to each other twice. A few days later, she went to a grade eight only dance as a welcome to high school kind of thing. I had nobody to talk to, as I have very few friends, and she's probably my best friend now, so I was all alone, and I had a mental breakdown, couldn't stop crying and screaming, and nothing caused it, it just happened.
I broke the promise I made to her and cut again. She was really upset when she got back, but I said I wouldn't do it again. The problem is, she's gone for the weekend now at her grandparent's house with no way of contacting me. I need something to do other than cut, something to relieve my stress and occupy me.
Now, on to the problem. This girl I really like... let's call her Emily for the sake of story telling. This girl, Emily, she's in grade eight, I'm in grade seven. I'm really good friends with her, even though we only started talking about a month ago. She told me she likes me, I like her, but we're both afraid of a relationship because of past events. Now, the problem is, she cuts, and I cut. I've been cutting for a short while now, but when I found out she started cutting, I made a deal with her. If she doesn't cut, I won't cut, and she agreed. She broke our promise to each other twice. A few days later, she went to a grade eight only dance as a welcome to high school kind of thing. I had nobody to talk to, as I have very few friends, and she's probably my best friend now, so I was all alone, and I had a mental breakdown, couldn't stop crying and screaming, and nothing caused it, it just happened.
I broke the promise I made to her and cut again. She was really upset when she got back, but I said I wouldn't do it again. The problem is, she's gone for the weekend now at her grandparent's house with no way of contacting me. I need something to do other than cut, something to relieve my stress and occupy me.
WarriorPrince
Chaos
I can't really relate to this, so I honestly don't know what the hell to say about this; however,....... you seriously need to talk to someone. Your parents, a teacher, just someone who cares, someone else you confide in besides Emily. Preferably someone older (wiser), and in person.
Damn kid...
Edit: Your sig. It should be *Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Seeing it spelled incorrectly bothered me a bit.
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I would go to your parents and tell them about the cutting. My sister used to cut and has a mess up rarely, she's been going to therapy and has been prescribed medicine. She used to get very depressed and get manic. She's still coming along, apparently she has some hormonal issues that need to be addressed.
It's a very long story and I would rather not give every and embarrassing detail on a forum. But please go to someone. Your parents, guidance counselor, teacher, doctor, please someone. Cutting is a big issue that can't always be solved by just saying you're not going to cut anymore
A few years ago I got rejected by a girl after a few months talking to her. It has lowered my confidence in building relationships if people will think it's fine to make someone think they have a definite chance but end up saying no. Is there any way I can imply to girls I don't want to talk to them frequently if they will never have any interest in me?
According to neckbeard101, she's clearly in the wrong here. Talking to a girl for more than a month clearly signals to her that you are interested in a relationship. Why else would anyone talk to a girl for more than a month, right? We know with a non-engineering brain, she doesn't have anything genuinely interesting to say.
Forget about girl problems; you did everything 100% correct in this situation. The fact she used her mindcontrol powers to make you think things suggests she is indeed a witch. You need to take care of the witch in your midst. Once you take care of her, you can talk with another girl for a few months just to find out if she is even interested in you that way, rather than simply being upfront with your intentions.
Not entirely sure what you're implying here. She spoke to me on several occasions about her feelings for me, and then proceeded to treat me like garbage.
I see a therapist and psychiatrist, although I doubt they accurately perceive the severity of the situation.