So I've got a simpler, and hopefully less controversial, issue this time. Two, actually.
My work place is, overall, extremely casual when it comes to how close you are with your coworkers. While most work places, to my knowledge, consist of people who secretly loathe each other and make contact for no more than 8 hours a day, has tons of people who are great friends outside of work, a lot of whom met there, constantly hanging out for movies and parties, and sometimes even dating and getting married. Actually, two people who work in the same department as me are expecting their first baby on July 4th (irrelevant, I know, but it's so cool to me ^^; ). Don't worry, though, I'm not seeking romantic advice.
So, here's issue 1. I've become relatively close to four of my coworkers, though our friendships remain almost exclusive to work hours, and about 6 months ago added them all to Facebook. A couple days ago, one of the girls was telling me about her tattoos, and told me to look up one on her side (hence, she couldn't show me at work) on her Facebook account. When I went to her profile, though, I noticed that the "mutual friends" area didn't match up, and discovered that one of the other girls had since removed me from her friends' list. Now, I'm by no means a "friends' list junky," but the fact that she would remove me, despite us still being close and sharing many fun laughs and moments on the clock, has me feeling a bit... weird. If she didn't think of us as that good of friends, it's strange that she'd even accept my request in the first place. I am very interested in becoming close to her (not romantically) outside of work, as with the others, but I'm curious about this situation. It feels weird being 22-years-old and bringing up "Facebook Friend Status" as a problem, but I'm genuinely concerned that I may not have made a good impression on her.
- Should I bring this up to her? I'm afraid to, out of fear of coming off as "creepy" for noticing, or for starting middle-school level drama. Would it be uncalled for to simply ask her about it, or maybe even just send her another request and see what she does? Am I just over-thinking things, and the best course of action would be to just not worry about it?
My second question is related to the same scenario. About a month ago, I was invited to a third girl's 21st birthday party (as a side note, she's dating a guy, the fourth of the four people I feel I connected with). I arrived a bit late, embarrassingly, but we all had a good time, and despite my being more than a bit shy, I managed to step out of my shell at points and really participate, I feel. However, there have been a few events since that party that I haven't even received word of. I would very much like to hang out with the "gang from work" more often, but I'm unsure if it's socially acceptable to bring this up.
- What is the most "socially-acceptable" method of telling or showing the guys from work that I'm interested in hanging out more? I've been there for about a year now, but should I simply give it more time, be friendly and participatory at work, and let them come to me with the invitations?
Both of these questions stem from a simple fact that I am very shy and poorly trained, mentally, for social interactions. I always have been, it's a fully diagnosed mental disorder (of which I have a very mild case) that simply keeps me from being comfortable in them. Given the two scenarios above, how would the lot of you recommend I go about trying to "fit in" better at work?