My life has been rather turbulent recently. It mostly started when I went to see a therapist about some stress and anxiety regarding the fact that I'm gay. This has mostly to do with my father's bigoted appoach to just about everything, so needless to say I don't ever feel at ease when he's home (he works out of town and drops in about every week or so), although this is a culmination of years of disatancing and loathing that has more or less come to the point where I avoid any real contact for the weekend (being the chief timeframe in which he is home).
Now this mess continues as I began to develop a crush for my best friend of four years now, a person I trust more than anyone, bar none. We have always been frank about a variety of topics from sex to everyday life, so he's known that I'm gay years before any therapist told me to come out. As time has passed, we insisted that we remained a purely platonic duo, which of course brings us to now. A couple of days ago, he told me that'd he'd been harbouring a similar crush for the better part of the last year. I admit the same, and we ambiguously post that each of us were in a complicated relationship as we tried to sort out the details of the situation before we came out about it publically. Fortunately enough, my mother catches wind of my relationship (damn you social networking, and myself for not forseeing this obvious outcome), and threatens to tell my father, knowing that I am gay. So far she hasn't really spoken up about anything yet, but she may not have much to worry about.
Yesterday, my new boyfriend revealed that he would finally be moving to California as soon as this Sunday (no word back from him on this, by the way). I've known he would be movng, but it's never been a set time frame. Needless to say, I am not taking this well. I'm coping with it I suppose, but locking myself in my room is all I can do to keep myself from breaking anymore.
As friends, the two of us stay in consant contact, speaking up to three hours a day on the phone, and we've been doing so for pretty much all four years of our friendship. I suppose I don't really know how I feel about the situation, aside from the fact that it really ****ing hurts. Regardless to what it may mean, I do love him, and I can't lose him as a friend. Even though I don't think our friendship is in any particular danger, I'm just really ****ing scared.
I don't really know what advice I'd be hoping to gain from posting this, I suppose I just needed to get it out there. Alas, any advice would be more than welcome.