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Continuing the discussion about snow, there's a HUGE amount of snow right now in southern Finland. So we will certainly have a white christmas here. ^^
But I wonder what will happen when all that snow melts at spring...
I just thought that I should step out from behind the background again to show my continuing support and growing admiration.
Garechu, you're one of the people here who I admire the most.
I am really glad you found someone.
it's like the song, the gift to dream and make dreams real is yours and mine.
I'm not making any suggestions or anything, but. . . . .
I liked reading about your dreams and the events involved around them better than reading your fan-fics.
like when the shrink perscribed the imagination suppressing pills, I was all like ". . . oh my god. . . DON'T TAKE THE PILLS! ( .>__<. )"
I was worried that buizel would be gone forever.
and to know that your story has a happy ending makes it even better!
is it alright if I opened up a bit here? y'know, since you guys are all bonding 'n' stuff.
I'm putting it in a spoiler, just in case it's too long and off-topic.
I'm not as into pokemon as I used to be. I've stopped playing the game almost completely, and left platinum half finished. I used to blame it on school putting pressure on me, I had to repeat year 12 'cause I failed english, but after that nightmare was over I still felt the same like nothing had changed.
it was when I was halfway though moving with my brother and his girlfriend into a new house, when I had to spend hours on end without anything to do and no real interest in doing anything, alone in the house while they were both at work, that I realised that it was my so-called friends who were causing my problems.
see, I couldn't play games while I was supposed to be doing homework, so the only thing I spent my time doing at home was facebooking. this probably wasn't the best for me, saw little to no activity from anyone.
they all seemed to like me a lot, always happy to see me when I crash into parties, but I was forgotten most of the time.
they would post photos of parties they've had within walking distance of my house and had not told me about. or I wouldn't be in any of the photos from the parties that I have been at.
this is what I believe to have caused me to be too distressed to play pokemon like I used to.
I might not play the games like I used to, it may not make me happy the way it used to, but pokemon is still like life to me.
I don't even know if I have a sexuality. I mean, I don't feel like I've ever been attracted to anyone or anything before. I do know that I am heterosexual. I am 18 and I am a virgin. . . . so to speak. I never had a girlfriend, I've had a few opportunities, but turned them all down. there was nothing wrong with them, I just wasn't really interested.
reading this club always makes me feel a bit depressed. maybe it's because I'm not as passionate about pokemon as much as I think I should be, or that I'm not as passionate as all you guys are. . . . about anything.
I don't really have any ambitions, goals, or desires for the future.
I do dabble in drawing, but I'm not much of an artist.
We've a lot in common.
Relationships... I'm indifferent. I've had some fun, but I've never really actively sought sex or a girlfriend. It just seems to happen when it does. I'm not really much of a poképhile either; I don't want to meet one in the real world and marry her. But the art is somehow more attractive to me than most of the human/human stuff you can find.
The future for me seems like a seperate world. I'm not dabbling in clichés here, but I don't see myself ever wearing a suit, doing office work, commuting. I guess I'm much more of a philosophical person; thinking is what I do best, and I'm my own psychologist. I fear I might have gone insane some years ago without my help. (Wait, wut?)
As it happens, I'm somewhat indifferent to sentience. I feel life would be best without intellect (though I'm all for intelligence), without knowledge, without human concepts and without language and with merely animal actionreaction, clearly defined rules, and an equality that only animals seem to propogate. (Did you know that aside from humans, out of the entire animal kingdom, only dolphins have sex for fun?)
On a related note, I would have no misgivings about holding a firearm; there might be hesitation but there would not be guilt. As I posted some weeks ago, one part of me is scared of the other part of me's potential. Diverging further, the 'humane' me is trapped so far inside a shell of thought, logic and calculation that I rarely feel feelings. Sucks to be me.
In a way, I might have a human body and a human brain but I'm not human because I don't think like a human. I guess that's why I've no qualms about zoophilia, homosexuality, <insert>-philia and <whatever>-sexuality. It actually humoured me to see people turn their heads away uncomfortably when two of the Na'vi (from the film 'Avatar') kissed romantically. It also took me a while to think why they would be uncomfortable. I guess the majority of them didn't even know there could be anything other than human/human relationships.
I make a point of notepadding a lot of my thoughts when I'm in a thinking mood. My mind seems to do its own thing, and I just watch (is that an apt verb? 'listen in' might be more appropriate) and type.
RAGE.
Such Rage.
Remember the dragon.
Remember the dragon.
remember the dragon.
remember the dragon
rememberthedragonrememberthedragonrememememememberthedragonrememberitrememberthedragon
oh god
its not working
CONTROL YOURSELF
WHAT ARE YOU ANGRY AT
I do not know!
WHY ARE YOU ANGRY
I do not know!
WHO HAS MADE YOU ANGRY
MYSELF!
!REMEMBER THE DRAGON!
ARE YOU ANGRY
YES
CONTROL
YOURSELF
YOU ARE IN CONTROL
I AM NOT IN CONTROL
WHO IS IN CONTROL
WHO IS VOICE
VOICE
VOICE
WHO IS VOICE
IS VOICE YOU OR IS VOICE A NEW YOU
I DO NOT KNOW
I NEED TO KNoW
andrew
andrew
my name is andrew anthony berry
i am sixteen years
i live in fleet
in a nice place
in a nice neighbourhood
with nice sights
with... nice people...?
no.
what are you angry at
the world
why are you angry
stupidity
who has made you angry
humanity
RAGE
rage
rage
r a g e
r...a....
breathe
breathe
one breath in
one breath out
talk to hean
voice
who are you
I am yourself
but who are you
i do not know
who said that me or you
i am one
who is one
we
we
your not speaking to anyone andrew
you are speaking to yourself
WHY DO YOU GO, VOICE
CONFRONT ME
TALK TO ME
WE NEED TO TALK
COME BACK
my god come back
please come back voice
so
much
rage
anger
is it in me to do so
wait
noyesnononnoyes
WHO ARE YOU
HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS
WHAT ARE YOU
human
what is human
hate
what is hate
sentience
what is sentience
stupidity
are you stupid
i am not human
WHAT ARE YOU
you
what am I doing
am I fighting me or the empty air
do I make this voice appear
is this not synomynous with what you believe?
what do you believe
I believe that voice could be real
oh god
the connotations
they are huge
rage
RAGE
ANDREW: REMEMBER THE DRAGON!
I will remember.
remember the dragon.
for you.
this argument is over, voicehah you can't spell it right
**** you
we're DONE.
So, yeah, just a little more insight into a guy you might consider mysterious. I'm completely aware that by human standards I'm an *******.
All right guys, a number of staff members have decided that this club is not something that should be discussed on the forums. Fetish clubs aren't appropriate on a forum geared towards younger children, and not to mention the club has been extremely off-topic lately.
