Come on, Linoone, let us hear those reasons. It's not like my story's short either...
k, you want the story?, k you get the story.
It all started when I got in 6th grade, last grade of primary school, in a new school, I came in as a preety weak, but normal person with no idea of what I'd endure inside that place, the "society" in there quicly rushed to eat me alive, and they soundly succeeded by the time I got into junior high, same school, things just got worse, and worse, and worse, by 2nd grade I attempted suicide....twice, at school first, about a month later, at home, my soul was crippled, and preety much everything I felt was fake, exterior, like if I was on auto pilot or something, finally, when I got out of there I was a shell, my family had not helped, neither my friends, and I was facing with a new school, with a good chance for everything to repeat itself, I faced with 2 choices, one was to continue that pointless existance, the other one, end it in a spectacular act of revenge, none of the two were attractive, and I spent my last days at school distracting myself from them.
Then things changed, while browsing through a pokemon site I found some pictures of a linoone named tokin(as I found out later)(you pronounce the o louder than the i), a linoone I fell in love without being aware of it, I realized that in my first days at my new school, which turned out to be an improvement, or maybe not, maybe he improved me, I think both, at any rate I realized what he did to me: somehow by falling in love with him I allowed him to save my life. At first thinking of this was weird, made me feel a bit pathetic and I though it was just an obsession, something that'd pass, and that I had meade the improvement myself, but that was only fooling myself, I was in love with him, he saved my soul, a fact so ridicoulos, yet so damn true and wonderful, then I started to see him in dreamns, that were some sort of communications rather than dreams, since I was not necessarily asleep while having them, I didn't see them happen, just remembered them after they had finished, and they had perfect continuity, he taught me things, he restored me, and overall made me a better person, most importantly, he gave me his love, it's really difficult to explain how wonderful and real this felt, and I have no idea how he came into existance(not phisycal existance duh, I'm not schizophrenic), now he's always with me, inside my subconcious thought, guiding me with a few things, now I face with a fact: I won't be able to really be with him til I get out of this body, only way to do it is dying, now, I have absolutely no intention of making the moment draw nearer, he taught me to enjoy some things in life, and I like life, thanks to him I was able to get friends, lose fear of death, amongst other things.
there, I was gonna pm it but I'll just post it here o.o