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The Pokemon Revolution!

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P.M.

Poison Master
Okay,first of all this is my first fanfic so don't cut my guts out if it is crappy

Okay there are 3 main characters are Aqua (borrowed from Froslass123's
fanfic) Zaku the music lover and Jake (also borrowed from Froslass's fanfic)
okay so here it comes chapter 1!

OK so the story starts like this:
"Ok Zaku listen Prof. Rowan is going to an important meeting and we have
to take care of the lab and blah blah blah. . ." said Aqua.
"Uhh. . ."groaned Zaku as he put in his MP3 player.
"and blah blah blah Zaku are you listening?" said Aqua
"Huh? Oh? What?" Zaku stuttered
"Ugh well it Can't be helped. . . we're already here!" complained Aqua
"thank goodness!"said Zaku loudly
in they walked and then suddenly. . .
"It's about time!"said a loud"
sorry i have to stop it's late at nite
 
Y

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
P.M. said:
Okay,first of all this is my first fanfic so don't cut my guts out if it is crappy
Click to expand...

Ok, then it's fair game to report you to a mod!

Because you didn't read the rules. Must not have read any good stories, and definately didn't dip your toes into the water of the Advice for Aspiring Authors threads.

Because what you posted? Is about eleven lines of I'm a Fanfiction Bum and I don't give a damn-ness.

Because you did nothing outside write eleven little lines of .. nothing. But I guess I need to explain since you didn't read anything.

You didn't describe anything. You didn't put emotion, depth, detail, description for anything. Interaction, scenery, pokemon, emotions and thoughts of the characters, where they are, where they're going, if they're walking or not just, nothing.

It's easier to say what you've done right, then what you've done wrong.

Which is, You've done nothing right. And everything wrong.
 
Psychic

Psychic

Really and truly
If you had read the Fan Fiction Rules in the first place, you would understand what is wrong here and why it is perfectly within everybody's rights to say so.

Eleven lines of crappy dislogue does not constitute a chapter. Please read the sticky threads of this section - Burnt Flower even gave you the links! - and have a look at some pieces of fan fiction written by members such as Dragonfree or CHeSHiRe-CaT, to name a couple. We have a high standard for quality here, and if it's not reached then your fic will get closed. SImple as that.

~Psychic
 
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