Why? because they'll explode before you get them? (grins)
looking forward to tomorrow's episode BTW.
EDIT: if it happens...
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The Pokemon Show (Rated G)
- Thread starter GalladeRocks
- Start date
Why? because they'll explode before you get them? (grins)
looking forward to tomorrow's episode BTW.
EDIT: if it happens...
GalladeRocks
Son of a Beach
Okay, time for Chapter 2! This chapter guest stars Mewtwo, Deoxys, and Nancy the Naughty Banette from Ysavvryl's fic The Ballad of Deoxys and Mewtwo. I highly suggest that you read it, as it is one of my favorite fics.
Episode 2: Star Tours
This is what we call our Pokemon Show!
As the singing finished up, the giant Pokemon Show sign slowly lowered down from the ceiling. After a little bit of a struggle, Poliwhirl suddenly popped up in the middle of the "O" in "Show". He waved to the crowd, then pulled out a large drumstick. He swung it hard upwards, bringing it into contact with the second "O" in "Pokemon". The beat echoed throughout the theater for a long moment. Then, it was completely obliterated by the sound of an explosion as Poliwhirl's drumstick burst into flame.
Piplup could hardly watch as Poliwhirl desperately tried to extinguish the flames. The poor Pokemon was in such a panic that he apparently hadn't even thought to use Water Gun on the fire. Sighing, Piplup climbed off the podium in the middle of the stage. "Come on, guys," he called back to Chimchar and Mew. They hurried to follow him backstage as the curtain closed over the sorry scene. They were all aware of Skuntank and Dusknoir's hysterical laughter from their balcony above the stage.
Once the curtain was shut, the staff and crew immediately went to work organizing the stage for the first act. A small set which seemed to be a kitchen was wheeled out to the center of the floor, complete with oven, fridge, and a rack holding a large collection of butcher knives, chainsaws, and battle axes. Croagunk the Chef was finally getting his debut. Piplup feared for the lives of the theater patrons.
He turned and walked down the stairs into the meeting room. Many of the other Pokemon were already down there, waiting for the arrival of their director. "Ok, everybody," Piplup announced as he hurried to address his employees. "Here's tonight's schedule. First up, we have Croagunk's cooking segment."
"Meatballs a cookin'!" the chef croaked excitedly.
"Yeah. Whatever," Piplup continued. "After that, we'll have Poliwhirl's stunt act, if he ever gets the flaming drumstick put out. Then, Chatot will address the audience on...what are you addressing them on?"
Chatot stepped proudly to the front of the actors. "Something never before seen in the world of theater! Pride in one's country!"
"Enthralling," Piplup sighed. "Then, we'll feature today's guest stars. Speaking of which, where are they?"
"Right here."
Piplup yelped in surprise and whirled around. Behind him stood two of the strangest Pokemon he'd ever seen. One of them was orange and looked like some kind of Picasso painting come to life. It looked almost alien-like. The other one seemed to be a humanoid feline, or something like that.
The feline one spoke again. His voice was icy cold and threatening. "Don't even think about calling me a feline."
Piplup paled, making a mental note to guard his thoughts while this one was around. Then again, maybe a mental note wasn't the best idea in the presence of a mind-reader.
The orange figure's demeanor was much cheerier and more carefree than his companions. He smiled and politely waved the whip-like appendages which made up his right arm. "Hi there! I'm Deoxys!"
The other Pokemon were clearly startled by the appearance of these two strangers, but Piplup was already lightening up again. This Deoxys seemed friendly enough. "Welcome, Deoxys. Who's your friend?"
"Mewtwo," the other Pokemon said plainly. "I suggest you remember my name."
"Oh, pay him no mind!" Deoxys giggled. "He's just being a grump."
"I see," Piplup grinned. "Are you two tonight's guest stars?"
Mewtwo nodded. "That's us. We're here to enlighten the populous of the struggle we Pokemon are presenting to the humans."
"And to implant subliminal messages within-"
Mewtwo cut Deoxys off with a glare that would have withered even the most fearsome of enemies.
Piplup frowned, deciding to ignore the unfinished comment. "Ok, sounds like it should be fun."
"This won't be fun," Mewtwo interjected. "The prejudice with which the humans have discriminated us is no laughing matter. The Legendary War is being fought, and the word must be spread for Pokemon to rise up against their suppressors."
"Alright, whatever way you want it," Piplup shrugged. "You two will also be the subjects of a short skit and a question-and-answer session. Is this agreeable?"
"Yay!" Deoxys cheered. "A play! Can we do it, Mewtwo? Please?"
Mewtwo sighed. "Yes, yes. Sometimes the mind will accept a message more easily when presented in a way that is appealing to it, rather than simply attempting to beat the information in."
Deoxys cheered again. "Yay! Thank you, Father!"
Chimchar snickered. Piplup looked amusedly at Mewtwo, who was blushing in embarrassment. "Adopted," he explained simply.
Then, Deoxys noticed Mew floating at the front of the crowd of actors. "Hi Grandma!" he called.
Mew teleported suddenly, reappearing in front of Deoxys. "Deoxys, we're in front of the other actors. You can't call me Grandma now, or it makes me seem old, okay?"
"Well, you are old," Mewtwo argued. "You're the mother of all, the Pokemon from which all others are descended. You're nearly older than time itself."
Mew scowled. "Well, that doesn't mean people have to view me as old."
"Whatever," Mewtwo growled. He turned to Deoxys. "Come on, Deoxys, we've got some time to kill. We'd be foolish to waste it."
"Alright," Deoxys nodded.
Grovyle stepped up before the two guest stars. "Follow me," he explained. "I'll show you to your dressing room." Mewtwo nodded his acceptance and floated off after Grovyle. Deoxys turned and waved to Piplup as he followed the other two.
Once they were gone, Piplup turned to Mew, an amused look in his eyes. "Grandma?"
Mew blushed. "I have a life outside you and your adventures, you know!"
Smiling, Piplup turned back to the rest of the actors. "Okay, Croagunk, you'd better get up on stage. Your show will be starting in just a few minutes."
"Okey dokey!" the chef nodded, heading back up the stairs.
Piplup scanned the rest of the crew, sensing that someone was missing. Finally, he realized who it was. "Hey, where's Snorunt?"
As if on cue, there was a loud clatter from the stage. Piplup hurried up the stairs to see a large group of Snorunt hurrying away from Croagunk's kitchen set. The weaponry from the wall rack was scattered across the floor and the chef himself was hurling incomprehensible curses at the fleeing yellow swarm.
"Snorunt!" Piplup screamed. A Snorunt with a director's cap perched precariously atop his pointed noggin stepped out of the crowd and approached Piplup.
"Hiya, Piplup!" he called. "Have you seen Poliwhirl?"
"I'm not worried about Poliwhirl right now!" Piplup growled. As Snorunt reached him, he was able to make out a sash wrapped across his chest. It read GUIDE in bold red lettering. "I'm worried about you!"
"Oh, you don't have to worry about me. We just had a small incident with Croagunk's cutlery. I warned everybody not to touch the props, but did they listen? No! Somebody just had to go and touch the battle axe."
Piplup sighed, gesturing to the swarm of Snorunt milling about, waiting for their apparent GUIDE to return. A few of them held up cameras and began snapping pictures of the props backstage. "I mean them! What are they doing here?"
"Oh, them?" Snorunt said. "They're my tour group."
"Why do you have a tour group?"
"Well, our show got really high ratings after our pilot last week. So, I figured that we could make really big bucks if we opened up a backstage tour! Folks dig that kinda stuff!"
Again, Piplup sighed. He could already sense disaster approaching. "Fine, whatever! Just keep them out of the way!"
"Don't worry about it!" Snorunt assured. "You won't even know we're here!"
There was a loud crash and a scream. Piplup turned to see that one of the Snorunt had fallen down the stairs. The others stepped away, whistling inconspicuously. "Yeah. I won't even know they're here."
*****
"Ok, ladies and gentlemen!" Piplup announced as he stepped out between the curtains. "We're starting off with a new act today that I'm sure you'll all love!"
"Love is a mighty strong word! But then again, it couldn't be any worse than the other acts we've seen!"
Piplup looked up to the balcony. He could see Dusknoir laughing hysterically from his chair, but the Pokemon in the seat next to him was most definitely not Skuntank. It had a toothy golden smile and looked like it had pigtails. "Hey Dusknoir!" Chimchar called, poking his head out through the curtain. "Who's that poor sap you fooled into bringing here?"
"First of all," Dusknoir began. "You're supposed to leave making fun of your show to me. It's not much fun watching you heckle yourself."
"I did?" Chimchar frowned, looking to Piplup.
"Idiot," the Penguin Pokemon said under his breath.
Dusknoir continued. "And to answer your question, this is my new girlfriend, Banette!"
"Happy to heckle you!" Banette called down.
"Great," Piplup grumbled. "All we needed was another one of them in the balcony."
"I'm outta here!" Chimchar squeaked, disappearing backstage.
"Back to business!" Piplup continued. "Our first act, Chef Croagunk!" He rushed backstage after Chimchar as the curtains swung open.
Croagunk stood behind the counter in the kitchen set. A tall white chef's hat sat upon his head. He was singing incomprehensibly to himself as he toiled about the kitchen, setting out plates, checking the oven, and searching through the drawers. Finally, he looked up from his work and noticed the audience. "Ooh!" he greeted. "Helloo, everyboody!" He turned back to the oven, opened the door, and returned to the counter with a platter covered in sticky brown clumps of...something. "Toonight, we're cookin' the meatballs!" He plucked one of the blobs off of the plate and took a bite of it. "Yuumy yuumy! But are they booncy?"
"Banette, dear, do you have any idea what that chef is saying?" Dusknoir inquired.
"Why, of course!" she answered, smiling cruelly. "I speak fluent Dork, Geek, and Fruitcake!"
Croagunk glared up at the balcony. "Soo, you doon't like the cookin'?" He picked up a meatball in each hand. "I'll shoow you the booncy!" He hurled both meatballs at the floor. They made contact with a sickening splat, but immediately launched upward again, bouncing as though they were made of rubber. Croagunk kept hurling more and more meatballs until the platter on the counter was empty of them.
"Take cover!" somebody in the crowd screamed. Meatballs were shooting all over the theater and it was all that the viewers could do to avoid the meaty missiles.
Before long, one of the meatballs had charted its course towards the balcony. Banette jumped onto the railing. "Bring 'em on!" she whooped. As the meatball reached her, she swung her arm like a tennis raquet, making solid contact with the meatball. It fired back at Croagunk, knocking the chef's hat off of his head.
The process continued everytime a meatball reached the balcony until Croagunk lay stunned on the floor, beaten down by his own gourmet cooking. "Ooh noo," he moaned. He managed to lift his arm far enough into the air to wave his hat in surrender.
Suddenly, Snorunt and the tour group marched onto the stage. "And to your left you'll see the set used for the kitchen of Chef Croagunk. It's world famous for the fact that no matter how many times it gets destroyed, the kitchen crew manages to get it cleaned up again in a matter of minutes."
"Hey! What's going on down there?" Dusknor called.
"I'm leading a tour, if you don't mind!" Snorunt screamed back.
Banette cackled. "A tour, eh? I'd give you my two cents about, if it were actually worth spending them on!"
Dusknoir turned to his girlfriend. "Have I told you yet that you're the perfect woman?"
Piplup and Grovyle hurried onto the stage, quickly ushering Croagunk and the tour group backstage as the curtain closed. As he ran, Piplup called out from behind the curtain. "And now, our next act, Poliwhirl the Prodigious!"
Poliwhirl rushed onstage and bowed to the audience. "Greetings, everybody!"
"They're sure moving things along quickly tonight," Dusknoir commented.
"Yeah!" Banette agreed. "Someone must have told them that it's harder to hit a moving target!"
Poliwhirl continued on, unperturbed. "For tonight's act, I will be practicing the ancient art of knife-throwing!" Immediately, the entire audience hid beneath their seats.
The curtains parted, revealing an enormous wheel. Deoxys was strapped to it by his arms, legs, and abdomen. "Hi everybody!" he called happily.
"I will be hurling knives at our guest star, Deoxys," Poliwhirl continued. "And I will show you the great skill which is required in such a dangerous act as this." He held one hand upward, revealing the cluster of knives he was clutching. "Now, ladies and gentlemen, do not try this at home. Remember that I am a trained professional." As he said this, he flung his arms up above his head. A knife flew from his grip and launched upward.
Thwang!
When the crowd finally looked up from their sheltered seats, they saw the knife embedded in the side of the balcony. Dusknoir and Banette leaned over the railing and glared down at Poliwhirl. "What are you doing?" Dusknoir bellowed. "Are you trying to kill us?"
"What are you complaining about?" Banette questioned. "He'd be doing us a favor!"
Deoxys paled significantly. "Um, Poliwhirl, I'm not sure about this anymore!"
"Relax!" Poliwhirl assured. "Remember, I'm a trained professional!" Another knife sailed into the crowd, missing Celebi's head by mere inches.
"Maniac!" she screamed.
Deoxys squinted, finally making out Celebi's shape. "Oh, hi Celebi! Are you over your weed problem yet?"
Celebi's already rosy cheeks turned an even darker shade of pink. "Shut up!" With that, she vanished from sight, disappearing into the time stream.
"I think you struck a nerve there," Poliwhirl commented, raising his arms. Yet another knife flew upward, sticking into the railing directly in front of Dusknoir's face.
"You almost struck a nerve up here, too!" he called.
Piplup hurried onto the stage. "Poliwhirl, I'm sorry, but the other actors have petitioned to keep all sharp and potentially harmful objects out of your possession. We're cutting your act short."
"That's good!" Banette cackled. "Much longer and he would have cut some of us short!"
Poliwhirl shuffled dejectedly off of the stage as Piplup and Grovyle helped Deoxys down from the wheel he was attached to. Immediately, it began to roll away, pulled by some overzealous members of the Snorunt tour group. "Souvenir!" one of them explained.
"Next up!" Piplup introduced. "Chatot!"
Another curtain swung open, revealing Chatot standing at center-stage. He was facing away from the audience, apparently having a conversation with somebody off-stage. "World-Wide Web?" he muttered. "Is there a way we could only put this on the American part?"
Somebody in the crowd cleared their throat. Chatot whirled around suddenly. "Oh! Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!" He bowed hurriedly. "Tonight, I will be presenting to you something never before seen in our show!"
"Entertainment?" Dusknoir questioned.
"Yes," Chatot nodded. "Er, I mean no! What I'm referring to is culture!" He struck pose akin to a free-soaring eagle. "Morality!" He turned to the crowd and spread his wings even wider. "And..." He paused dramatically. "Patriotism!"
He was booed off the stage in an instant.
*****
"Tough break, Chatot," Piplup patted him on the back as the dejected Pokemon hopped backstage. "Don't worry, you'll get 'em someday."
"Yes, that's right!" Chatot nodded, brightening up slightly. "They cannot be heathen-minded forever, after all!"
Mewtwo and Deoxys suddenly appeared directly in front of Piplup, forcing a startled yelp from him. "Aiih!"
"It's time," Mewtwo stated.
Piplup nodded, regaining his composure. "Yep, it is. Take the stage!"
*****
"Salutations," Mewtwo greeted as he teleported onto the stage, with Deoxys only a second behind him. The entire crowd shrieked in response to the sudden appearance of the guest stars.
"Hi everyone!" Deoxys waved cheerily. "We're here to tell you a story!"
Mewtwo glared at him. "No, Deoxys, not a story. We are here to teach people of the evils of humans and the powers of science."
"In the form of a story," Deoxys added.
"Whatever you please to call it," Mewtwo shrugged. "Just go with it."
"Yay!" Deoxys beamed. Then, the lights went dark.
When they came back on, Mewtwo was pacing the stage. Deoxys was looking at him inquisitively. "Gee, Mewtwo, what are we going to do tonight?"
"They same thing we do every night, Deoxys," Mewtwo answered. "Try to take over the world!"
"Not violently, I hope," Deoxys frowned.
Mewtwo shrugged. "If necessary. But sometimes, psychological warfare is the most effective."
"That sounds a little better."
"Yes. And today, science will aid us in our quest!" Mewtwo teleported off of the stage, then reappeared a moment later with a test tube in his hand. It was filled with a strange yellow liquid.
"What's that?" Deoxys inquired.
Mewtwo grinned. "This? This is a potion I have devised. It will make me completely enthralling, so that everyone I speak to will have to listen to me!"
"What's the good in that?"
"When everybody listens to me, they will be much more likely to go along with what I say. With such a mass hypnosis, the entire population of humans shall fall under my control!" With that, Mewtwo lifted the beaker to his lips.
Deoxys's eyes opened wide. "Mewtwo, wait!"
But it was too late. Mewtwo drank deeply, swallowing the contents of the beaker in a single gulp. There was a flash of light and a poof of smoke, and Mewtwo was gone. In his place was a wheel of Swiss cheese, with eyes sitting on top of it. "What the-" The eyes looked up at Deoxys accusingly. "What happened?"
"I tried to warn you," Deoxys shrank back. "I didn't think that the potion you had looked realistic enough, so I switched it out for a mixture that Mr. Lucario made."
"If I weren't a large head of cheese, I would hurt you."
Piplup rushed onto the stage and picked up Mewtwo the Cheese Wheel. "Oh, Mewtwo, I'm so sorry!" He hurried back off-stage, desperate to find Lucario. "Don't worry, I'm sure Lucario has an antidote."
Deoxys was left alone on stage, staring after Piplup in embarrassment.
"Well, that wasn't cheesy at all!" Dusknoir scoffed.
"No, but that was!" Banette cackled.
Deoxys looked up in surprise. "Hey, I know that voice!"
Dusknoir turned to Banette. "Does he mean you, Banette?"
"Aha!" Deoxys snapped the fingers on his left hand. "I knew it! You're Nancy the Naughty Banette!"
"Uh oh," Banette frowned. She quickly dove out of the balcony, floating to the floor far below. "I'm discovered!"
"It's her!" Sheriff Magnezone cried from the back of the theater. "Nancy the Banette! She's wanted for multiple accounts of public intoxication!"
Nancy's eyes became panic-stricken. "You'll never take me alive, coppers!" She sprinted for the exit. Magnezone and the Magnemite officers were right behind her. There was quite a bit of jostling in the crowd, but before long Nancy was at the exit. "I'm in the clear!"
Suddenly, there was a crash as Magnezone slammed into the floor in front of Nancy, knocking her back. "I don't think so! Cuff her, boys!" Immediately, the Magnemite were beside her.
"Aw, nuts!" she grumbled. She looked back up at the balcony. "So long, Dusknoir, dear! I'll see ya if you ever commit a federal offense!"
Dusknoir merely sat in his seat, mouth agape. "I'm gonna be honest. I did not see that coming."
Skuntank slowly rose up from the floor, yawning. "Hurnh. What?"
"Skuntank, you fool, you slept through the show!"
"Who's the fool?" Skuntank grinned. "You watched it!"
Chimchar stepped onto the stage, joining the lone Deoxys. "I'm sorry for the delay, everybody. Piplup's busy trying to find an antidote for Mewtwo. As for right now, though, I'll be hosting the Question-and-Answer session with Deoxys."
"Sounds fun!" Deoxys grinned. "What's my first question?"
"Ok, first up is: Why did you and Mewtwo blow up the Cerulean City Gym at the end of your story? Why didn't you blow up the Viridian City Gym to tick off Giovanni?"
"That's actually fairly simple. Giovanni used to be the Viridian City Gym Leader, but he abandoned his post to focus on Team Rocket's exploits more fully. As for why we targeted Cerulean City...I asked my Magic-8 Ball."
"Well, that's...a little odd. Ok, next question: Do you and Mewtwo intend to exterminate the human race?"
"Oh no, we'd never do that. Mewtwo prefers to have control over the humans, not destroy them. And anyway, I wouldn't let him kill them if he wanted to. That would be too violent."
"Alright, that makes sense. So you don't like violence?"
"I'm the Guardian Angel. I don't think I'm meant to."
"Ok, whatever that means. Now, for our last question: Do you remember much about being a virus?"
"Oh, nothing at all, really. Viruses don't have very much brain, you know. Not much of a mental capacity of any kind."
"I'll bet that was boring."
"You have no idea."
Mewtwo, his old self again, suddenly reappeared on the stage next to Deoxys. "Ok, Deoxys, I've had quite enough for one day. Let's get out of here."
"Aw!" Deoxys whined. "But things are just starting to get fun!"
Piplup stepped back on-stage now. "Don't worry, Deoxys. You're welcome back here anytime you want!"
"Really?"
"Yep! I'm sure everybody would be happy to have you back!"
"We wouldn't!" Skuntank and Dusknoir screamed.
"Oh, alright," Deoxys nodded. He turned to Mewtwo. "Let's go."
Mewtwo nodded. "Farewell, fellow Pokemon. I hope we have left an impact on you tonight."
"If you hadn't, somebody else would have!" Skuntank called.
"Literally!" Dusknoir added.
"Bye bye!" Deoxys called. Then, he and Mewtwo teleported away and were gone.
Piplup turned out to the crowd. "Well, ladies and gentlemen, that ends our show for tonight! We hope you'll come back next week for-" He was interrupted by a camera flash.
"And now, you will see Piplup, the director of The Pokemon Show," Snorunt explained, leading the tour group back onto the stage.
"Oooh!" A few more of the Snorunt stopped to snap photos.
Piplup sighed. "Snorunt, please don't-"
"Wait!" Snorunt held up his hand. "Hold that pose, this is a great photo op for the tour!"
Suddenly, Mewtwo reappeared, looming above Snorunt. "I'd listen to him if I were you," he snarled, his voice dripping with ice.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this marks the end of our tour!" Snorunt spoke hurriedly, gesturing to the side. "Please exit stage left, gather all your belongings, and leave! Now!" The tour glanced up at Mewtwo, and received a murderous glare. That was enough to convince them to get moving. They rushed away as quickly as their tiny Snorunt feet could carry them.
"Thanks for that!" Piplup beamed.
Mewtwo disappeared again, but his parting words hung in the air. "Don't mention it."
BEHIND-THE-SCENES: The Snorunt tour group visits the gift shop.
"Mommy, Mommy, can I get this stuffed Piplup?"
"Hey, look! There's a joke book written by Chimchar!"
"That's great! We've been running low on campfire fuel!"
"It's the Poliwhirl the Prodigious Action Figure! Sweet!"
"Wow, they've got an autographed pair of Primeape's drumsticks! The writing's almost legible!"
"Croagunk's Cookbook: How to Be a Chef (And Speak Croagunk)."
"Ooh, it's Lucario's official chemistry set!"
"Do you think it's got the head-of-cheese potion included?"
"Hey, guys, come look at this! They've got a DVD!"
"Cool! Are we on it?"
"I don't think so. It's called From the Balcony: Lessons on Heckling."
"Meh, still sounds good! Let's get it!"
BEHIND-THE-SCENES (Part 2): Mewtwo and Deoxys's Words of Wisdom
Deoxys: Remember, readers, we are trained professionals. Do not attempt any of the stunts performed on this show or in The Ballad of Deoxys and Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: (Incomprehensible mumbling)
Deoxys: Oh, right. Avoid poison sumac, too.
Mewtwo: I'm Mewtwo, and I approve of this message. Also, there are no subliminal messages hidden within this episode with the intention of rallying the masses to world domination.
Deoxys: Um, Mewtwo?
Mewtwo: Shut up.
Hope you all like it!
Episode 2: Star Tours
This is what we call our Pokemon Show!
As the singing finished up, the giant Pokemon Show sign slowly lowered down from the ceiling. After a little bit of a struggle, Poliwhirl suddenly popped up in the middle of the "O" in "Show". He waved to the crowd, then pulled out a large drumstick. He swung it hard upwards, bringing it into contact with the second "O" in "Pokemon". The beat echoed throughout the theater for a long moment. Then, it was completely obliterated by the sound of an explosion as Poliwhirl's drumstick burst into flame.
Piplup could hardly watch as Poliwhirl desperately tried to extinguish the flames. The poor Pokemon was in such a panic that he apparently hadn't even thought to use Water Gun on the fire. Sighing, Piplup climbed off the podium in the middle of the stage. "Come on, guys," he called back to Chimchar and Mew. They hurried to follow him backstage as the curtain closed over the sorry scene. They were all aware of Skuntank and Dusknoir's hysterical laughter from their balcony above the stage.
Once the curtain was shut, the staff and crew immediately went to work organizing the stage for the first act. A small set which seemed to be a kitchen was wheeled out to the center of the floor, complete with oven, fridge, and a rack holding a large collection of butcher knives, chainsaws, and battle axes. Croagunk the Chef was finally getting his debut. Piplup feared for the lives of the theater patrons.
He turned and walked down the stairs into the meeting room. Many of the other Pokemon were already down there, waiting for the arrival of their director. "Ok, everybody," Piplup announced as he hurried to address his employees. "Here's tonight's schedule. First up, we have Croagunk's cooking segment."
"Meatballs a cookin'!" the chef croaked excitedly.
"Yeah. Whatever," Piplup continued. "After that, we'll have Poliwhirl's stunt act, if he ever gets the flaming drumstick put out. Then, Chatot will address the audience on...what are you addressing them on?"
Chatot stepped proudly to the front of the actors. "Something never before seen in the world of theater! Pride in one's country!"
"Enthralling," Piplup sighed. "Then, we'll feature today's guest stars. Speaking of which, where are they?"
"Right here."
Piplup yelped in surprise and whirled around. Behind him stood two of the strangest Pokemon he'd ever seen. One of them was orange and looked like some kind of Picasso painting come to life. It looked almost alien-like. The other one seemed to be a humanoid feline, or something like that.
The feline one spoke again. His voice was icy cold and threatening. "Don't even think about calling me a feline."
Piplup paled, making a mental note to guard his thoughts while this one was around. Then again, maybe a mental note wasn't the best idea in the presence of a mind-reader.
The orange figure's demeanor was much cheerier and more carefree than his companions. He smiled and politely waved the whip-like appendages which made up his right arm. "Hi there! I'm Deoxys!"
The other Pokemon were clearly startled by the appearance of these two strangers, but Piplup was already lightening up again. This Deoxys seemed friendly enough. "Welcome, Deoxys. Who's your friend?"
"Mewtwo," the other Pokemon said plainly. "I suggest you remember my name."
"Oh, pay him no mind!" Deoxys giggled. "He's just being a grump."
"I see," Piplup grinned. "Are you two tonight's guest stars?"
Mewtwo nodded. "That's us. We're here to enlighten the populous of the struggle we Pokemon are presenting to the humans."
"And to implant subliminal messages within-"
Mewtwo cut Deoxys off with a glare that would have withered even the most fearsome of enemies.
Piplup frowned, deciding to ignore the unfinished comment. "Ok, sounds like it should be fun."
"This won't be fun," Mewtwo interjected. "The prejudice with which the humans have discriminated us is no laughing matter. The Legendary War is being fought, and the word must be spread for Pokemon to rise up against their suppressors."
"Alright, whatever way you want it," Piplup shrugged. "You two will also be the subjects of a short skit and a question-and-answer session. Is this agreeable?"
"Yay!" Deoxys cheered. "A play! Can we do it, Mewtwo? Please?"
Mewtwo sighed. "Yes, yes. Sometimes the mind will accept a message more easily when presented in a way that is appealing to it, rather than simply attempting to beat the information in."
Deoxys cheered again. "Yay! Thank you, Father!"
Chimchar snickered. Piplup looked amusedly at Mewtwo, who was blushing in embarrassment. "Adopted," he explained simply.
Then, Deoxys noticed Mew floating at the front of the crowd of actors. "Hi Grandma!" he called.
Mew teleported suddenly, reappearing in front of Deoxys. "Deoxys, we're in front of the other actors. You can't call me Grandma now, or it makes me seem old, okay?"
"Well, you are old," Mewtwo argued. "You're the mother of all, the Pokemon from which all others are descended. You're nearly older than time itself."
Mew scowled. "Well, that doesn't mean people have to view me as old."
"Whatever," Mewtwo growled. He turned to Deoxys. "Come on, Deoxys, we've got some time to kill. We'd be foolish to waste it."
"Alright," Deoxys nodded.
Grovyle stepped up before the two guest stars. "Follow me," he explained. "I'll show you to your dressing room." Mewtwo nodded his acceptance and floated off after Grovyle. Deoxys turned and waved to Piplup as he followed the other two.
Once they were gone, Piplup turned to Mew, an amused look in his eyes. "Grandma?"
Mew blushed. "I have a life outside you and your adventures, you know!"
Smiling, Piplup turned back to the rest of the actors. "Okay, Croagunk, you'd better get up on stage. Your show will be starting in just a few minutes."
"Okey dokey!" the chef nodded, heading back up the stairs.
Piplup scanned the rest of the crew, sensing that someone was missing. Finally, he realized who it was. "Hey, where's Snorunt?"
As if on cue, there was a loud clatter from the stage. Piplup hurried up the stairs to see a large group of Snorunt hurrying away from Croagunk's kitchen set. The weaponry from the wall rack was scattered across the floor and the chef himself was hurling incomprehensible curses at the fleeing yellow swarm.
"Snorunt!" Piplup screamed. A Snorunt with a director's cap perched precariously atop his pointed noggin stepped out of the crowd and approached Piplup.
"Hiya, Piplup!" he called. "Have you seen Poliwhirl?"
"I'm not worried about Poliwhirl right now!" Piplup growled. As Snorunt reached him, he was able to make out a sash wrapped across his chest. It read GUIDE in bold red lettering. "I'm worried about you!"
"Oh, you don't have to worry about me. We just had a small incident with Croagunk's cutlery. I warned everybody not to touch the props, but did they listen? No! Somebody just had to go and touch the battle axe."
Piplup sighed, gesturing to the swarm of Snorunt milling about, waiting for their apparent GUIDE to return. A few of them held up cameras and began snapping pictures of the props backstage. "I mean them! What are they doing here?"
"Oh, them?" Snorunt said. "They're my tour group."
"Why do you have a tour group?"
"Well, our show got really high ratings after our pilot last week. So, I figured that we could make really big bucks if we opened up a backstage tour! Folks dig that kinda stuff!"
Again, Piplup sighed. He could already sense disaster approaching. "Fine, whatever! Just keep them out of the way!"
"Don't worry about it!" Snorunt assured. "You won't even know we're here!"
There was a loud crash and a scream. Piplup turned to see that one of the Snorunt had fallen down the stairs. The others stepped away, whistling inconspicuously. "Yeah. I won't even know they're here."
*****
"Ok, ladies and gentlemen!" Piplup announced as he stepped out between the curtains. "We're starting off with a new act today that I'm sure you'll all love!"
"Love is a mighty strong word! But then again, it couldn't be any worse than the other acts we've seen!"
Piplup looked up to the balcony. He could see Dusknoir laughing hysterically from his chair, but the Pokemon in the seat next to him was most definitely not Skuntank. It had a toothy golden smile and looked like it had pigtails. "Hey Dusknoir!" Chimchar called, poking his head out through the curtain. "Who's that poor sap you fooled into bringing here?"
"First of all," Dusknoir began. "You're supposed to leave making fun of your show to me. It's not much fun watching you heckle yourself."
"I did?" Chimchar frowned, looking to Piplup.
"Idiot," the Penguin Pokemon said under his breath.
Dusknoir continued. "And to answer your question, this is my new girlfriend, Banette!"
"Happy to heckle you!" Banette called down.
"Great," Piplup grumbled. "All we needed was another one of them in the balcony."
"I'm outta here!" Chimchar squeaked, disappearing backstage.
"Back to business!" Piplup continued. "Our first act, Chef Croagunk!" He rushed backstage after Chimchar as the curtains swung open.
Croagunk stood behind the counter in the kitchen set. A tall white chef's hat sat upon his head. He was singing incomprehensibly to himself as he toiled about the kitchen, setting out plates, checking the oven, and searching through the drawers. Finally, he looked up from his work and noticed the audience. "Ooh!" he greeted. "Helloo, everyboody!" He turned back to the oven, opened the door, and returned to the counter with a platter covered in sticky brown clumps of...something. "Toonight, we're cookin' the meatballs!" He plucked one of the blobs off of the plate and took a bite of it. "Yuumy yuumy! But are they booncy?"
"Banette, dear, do you have any idea what that chef is saying?" Dusknoir inquired.
"Why, of course!" she answered, smiling cruelly. "I speak fluent Dork, Geek, and Fruitcake!"
Croagunk glared up at the balcony. "Soo, you doon't like the cookin'?" He picked up a meatball in each hand. "I'll shoow you the booncy!" He hurled both meatballs at the floor. They made contact with a sickening splat, but immediately launched upward again, bouncing as though they were made of rubber. Croagunk kept hurling more and more meatballs until the platter on the counter was empty of them.
"Take cover!" somebody in the crowd screamed. Meatballs were shooting all over the theater and it was all that the viewers could do to avoid the meaty missiles.
Before long, one of the meatballs had charted its course towards the balcony. Banette jumped onto the railing. "Bring 'em on!" she whooped. As the meatball reached her, she swung her arm like a tennis raquet, making solid contact with the meatball. It fired back at Croagunk, knocking the chef's hat off of his head.
The process continued everytime a meatball reached the balcony until Croagunk lay stunned on the floor, beaten down by his own gourmet cooking. "Ooh noo," he moaned. He managed to lift his arm far enough into the air to wave his hat in surrender.
Suddenly, Snorunt and the tour group marched onto the stage. "And to your left you'll see the set used for the kitchen of Chef Croagunk. It's world famous for the fact that no matter how many times it gets destroyed, the kitchen crew manages to get it cleaned up again in a matter of minutes."
"Hey! What's going on down there?" Dusknor called.
"I'm leading a tour, if you don't mind!" Snorunt screamed back.
Banette cackled. "A tour, eh? I'd give you my two cents about, if it were actually worth spending them on!"
Dusknoir turned to his girlfriend. "Have I told you yet that you're the perfect woman?"
Piplup and Grovyle hurried onto the stage, quickly ushering Croagunk and the tour group backstage as the curtain closed. As he ran, Piplup called out from behind the curtain. "And now, our next act, Poliwhirl the Prodigious!"
Poliwhirl rushed onstage and bowed to the audience. "Greetings, everybody!"
"They're sure moving things along quickly tonight," Dusknoir commented.
"Yeah!" Banette agreed. "Someone must have told them that it's harder to hit a moving target!"
Poliwhirl continued on, unperturbed. "For tonight's act, I will be practicing the ancient art of knife-throwing!" Immediately, the entire audience hid beneath their seats.
The curtains parted, revealing an enormous wheel. Deoxys was strapped to it by his arms, legs, and abdomen. "Hi everybody!" he called happily.
"I will be hurling knives at our guest star, Deoxys," Poliwhirl continued. "And I will show you the great skill which is required in such a dangerous act as this." He held one hand upward, revealing the cluster of knives he was clutching. "Now, ladies and gentlemen, do not try this at home. Remember that I am a trained professional." As he said this, he flung his arms up above his head. A knife flew from his grip and launched upward.
Thwang!
When the crowd finally looked up from their sheltered seats, they saw the knife embedded in the side of the balcony. Dusknoir and Banette leaned over the railing and glared down at Poliwhirl. "What are you doing?" Dusknoir bellowed. "Are you trying to kill us?"
"What are you complaining about?" Banette questioned. "He'd be doing us a favor!"
Deoxys paled significantly. "Um, Poliwhirl, I'm not sure about this anymore!"
"Relax!" Poliwhirl assured. "Remember, I'm a trained professional!" Another knife sailed into the crowd, missing Celebi's head by mere inches.
"Maniac!" she screamed.
Deoxys squinted, finally making out Celebi's shape. "Oh, hi Celebi! Are you over your weed problem yet?"
Celebi's already rosy cheeks turned an even darker shade of pink. "Shut up!" With that, she vanished from sight, disappearing into the time stream.
"I think you struck a nerve there," Poliwhirl commented, raising his arms. Yet another knife flew upward, sticking into the railing directly in front of Dusknoir's face.
"You almost struck a nerve up here, too!" he called.
Piplup hurried onto the stage. "Poliwhirl, I'm sorry, but the other actors have petitioned to keep all sharp and potentially harmful objects out of your possession. We're cutting your act short."
"That's good!" Banette cackled. "Much longer and he would have cut some of us short!"
Poliwhirl shuffled dejectedly off of the stage as Piplup and Grovyle helped Deoxys down from the wheel he was attached to. Immediately, it began to roll away, pulled by some overzealous members of the Snorunt tour group. "Souvenir!" one of them explained.
"Next up!" Piplup introduced. "Chatot!"
Another curtain swung open, revealing Chatot standing at center-stage. He was facing away from the audience, apparently having a conversation with somebody off-stage. "World-Wide Web?" he muttered. "Is there a way we could only put this on the American part?"
Somebody in the crowd cleared their throat. Chatot whirled around suddenly. "Oh! Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!" He bowed hurriedly. "Tonight, I will be presenting to you something never before seen in our show!"
"Entertainment?" Dusknoir questioned.
"Yes," Chatot nodded. "Er, I mean no! What I'm referring to is culture!" He struck pose akin to a free-soaring eagle. "Morality!" He turned to the crowd and spread his wings even wider. "And..." He paused dramatically. "Patriotism!"
He was booed off the stage in an instant.
*****
"Tough break, Chatot," Piplup patted him on the back as the dejected Pokemon hopped backstage. "Don't worry, you'll get 'em someday."
"Yes, that's right!" Chatot nodded, brightening up slightly. "They cannot be heathen-minded forever, after all!"
Mewtwo and Deoxys suddenly appeared directly in front of Piplup, forcing a startled yelp from him. "Aiih!"
"It's time," Mewtwo stated.
Piplup nodded, regaining his composure. "Yep, it is. Take the stage!"
*****
"Salutations," Mewtwo greeted as he teleported onto the stage, with Deoxys only a second behind him. The entire crowd shrieked in response to the sudden appearance of the guest stars.
"Hi everyone!" Deoxys waved cheerily. "We're here to tell you a story!"
Mewtwo glared at him. "No, Deoxys, not a story. We are here to teach people of the evils of humans and the powers of science."
"In the form of a story," Deoxys added.
"Whatever you please to call it," Mewtwo shrugged. "Just go with it."
"Yay!" Deoxys beamed. Then, the lights went dark.
When they came back on, Mewtwo was pacing the stage. Deoxys was looking at him inquisitively. "Gee, Mewtwo, what are we going to do tonight?"
"They same thing we do every night, Deoxys," Mewtwo answered. "Try to take over the world!"
"Not violently, I hope," Deoxys frowned.
Mewtwo shrugged. "If necessary. But sometimes, psychological warfare is the most effective."
"That sounds a little better."
"Yes. And today, science will aid us in our quest!" Mewtwo teleported off of the stage, then reappeared a moment later with a test tube in his hand. It was filled with a strange yellow liquid.
"What's that?" Deoxys inquired.
Mewtwo grinned. "This? This is a potion I have devised. It will make me completely enthralling, so that everyone I speak to will have to listen to me!"
"What's the good in that?"
"When everybody listens to me, they will be much more likely to go along with what I say. With such a mass hypnosis, the entire population of humans shall fall under my control!" With that, Mewtwo lifted the beaker to his lips.
Deoxys's eyes opened wide. "Mewtwo, wait!"
But it was too late. Mewtwo drank deeply, swallowing the contents of the beaker in a single gulp. There was a flash of light and a poof of smoke, and Mewtwo was gone. In his place was a wheel of Swiss cheese, with eyes sitting on top of it. "What the-" The eyes looked up at Deoxys accusingly. "What happened?"
"I tried to warn you," Deoxys shrank back. "I didn't think that the potion you had looked realistic enough, so I switched it out for a mixture that Mr. Lucario made."
"If I weren't a large head of cheese, I would hurt you."
Piplup rushed onto the stage and picked up Mewtwo the Cheese Wheel. "Oh, Mewtwo, I'm so sorry!" He hurried back off-stage, desperate to find Lucario. "Don't worry, I'm sure Lucario has an antidote."
Deoxys was left alone on stage, staring after Piplup in embarrassment.
"Well, that wasn't cheesy at all!" Dusknoir scoffed.
"No, but that was!" Banette cackled.
Deoxys looked up in surprise. "Hey, I know that voice!"
Dusknoir turned to Banette. "Does he mean you, Banette?"
"Aha!" Deoxys snapped the fingers on his left hand. "I knew it! You're Nancy the Naughty Banette!"
"Uh oh," Banette frowned. She quickly dove out of the balcony, floating to the floor far below. "I'm discovered!"
"It's her!" Sheriff Magnezone cried from the back of the theater. "Nancy the Banette! She's wanted for multiple accounts of public intoxication!"
Nancy's eyes became panic-stricken. "You'll never take me alive, coppers!" She sprinted for the exit. Magnezone and the Magnemite officers were right behind her. There was quite a bit of jostling in the crowd, but before long Nancy was at the exit. "I'm in the clear!"
Suddenly, there was a crash as Magnezone slammed into the floor in front of Nancy, knocking her back. "I don't think so! Cuff her, boys!" Immediately, the Magnemite were beside her.
"Aw, nuts!" she grumbled. She looked back up at the balcony. "So long, Dusknoir, dear! I'll see ya if you ever commit a federal offense!"
Dusknoir merely sat in his seat, mouth agape. "I'm gonna be honest. I did not see that coming."
Skuntank slowly rose up from the floor, yawning. "Hurnh. What?"
"Skuntank, you fool, you slept through the show!"
"Who's the fool?" Skuntank grinned. "You watched it!"
Chimchar stepped onto the stage, joining the lone Deoxys. "I'm sorry for the delay, everybody. Piplup's busy trying to find an antidote for Mewtwo. As for right now, though, I'll be hosting the Question-and-Answer session with Deoxys."
"Sounds fun!" Deoxys grinned. "What's my first question?"
"Ok, first up is: Why did you and Mewtwo blow up the Cerulean City Gym at the end of your story? Why didn't you blow up the Viridian City Gym to tick off Giovanni?"
"That's actually fairly simple. Giovanni used to be the Viridian City Gym Leader, but he abandoned his post to focus on Team Rocket's exploits more fully. As for why we targeted Cerulean City...I asked my Magic-8 Ball."
"Well, that's...a little odd. Ok, next question: Do you and Mewtwo intend to exterminate the human race?"
"Oh no, we'd never do that. Mewtwo prefers to have control over the humans, not destroy them. And anyway, I wouldn't let him kill them if he wanted to. That would be too violent."
"Alright, that makes sense. So you don't like violence?"
"I'm the Guardian Angel. I don't think I'm meant to."
"Ok, whatever that means. Now, for our last question: Do you remember much about being a virus?"
"Oh, nothing at all, really. Viruses don't have very much brain, you know. Not much of a mental capacity of any kind."
"I'll bet that was boring."
"You have no idea."
Mewtwo, his old self again, suddenly reappeared on the stage next to Deoxys. "Ok, Deoxys, I've had quite enough for one day. Let's get out of here."
"Aw!" Deoxys whined. "But things are just starting to get fun!"
Piplup stepped back on-stage now. "Don't worry, Deoxys. You're welcome back here anytime you want!"
"Really?"
"Yep! I'm sure everybody would be happy to have you back!"
"We wouldn't!" Skuntank and Dusknoir screamed.
"Oh, alright," Deoxys nodded. He turned to Mewtwo. "Let's go."
Mewtwo nodded. "Farewell, fellow Pokemon. I hope we have left an impact on you tonight."
"If you hadn't, somebody else would have!" Skuntank called.
"Literally!" Dusknoir added.
"Bye bye!" Deoxys called. Then, he and Mewtwo teleported away and were gone.
Piplup turned out to the crowd. "Well, ladies and gentlemen, that ends our show for tonight! We hope you'll come back next week for-" He was interrupted by a camera flash.
"And now, you will see Piplup, the director of The Pokemon Show," Snorunt explained, leading the tour group back onto the stage.
"Oooh!" A few more of the Snorunt stopped to snap photos.
Piplup sighed. "Snorunt, please don't-"
"Wait!" Snorunt held up his hand. "Hold that pose, this is a great photo op for the tour!"
Suddenly, Mewtwo reappeared, looming above Snorunt. "I'd listen to him if I were you," he snarled, his voice dripping with ice.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this marks the end of our tour!" Snorunt spoke hurriedly, gesturing to the side. "Please exit stage left, gather all your belongings, and leave! Now!" The tour glanced up at Mewtwo, and received a murderous glare. That was enough to convince them to get moving. They rushed away as quickly as their tiny Snorunt feet could carry them.
"Thanks for that!" Piplup beamed.
Mewtwo disappeared again, but his parting words hung in the air. "Don't mention it."
BEHIND-THE-SCENES: The Snorunt tour group visits the gift shop.
"Mommy, Mommy, can I get this stuffed Piplup?"
"Hey, look! There's a joke book written by Chimchar!"
"That's great! We've been running low on campfire fuel!"
"It's the Poliwhirl the Prodigious Action Figure! Sweet!"
"Wow, they've got an autographed pair of Primeape's drumsticks! The writing's almost legible!"
"Croagunk's Cookbook: How to Be a Chef (And Speak Croagunk)."
"Ooh, it's Lucario's official chemistry set!"
"Do you think it's got the head-of-cheese potion included?"
"Hey, guys, come look at this! They've got a DVD!"
"Cool! Are we on it?"
"I don't think so. It's called From the Balcony: Lessons on Heckling."
"Meh, still sounds good! Let's get it!"
BEHIND-THE-SCENES (Part 2): Mewtwo and Deoxys's Words of Wisdom
Deoxys: Remember, readers, we are trained professionals. Do not attempt any of the stunts performed on this show or in The Ballad of Deoxys and Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: (Incomprehensible mumbling)
Deoxys: Oh, right. Avoid poison sumac, too.
Mewtwo: I'm Mewtwo, and I approve of this message. Also, there are no subliminal messages hidden within this episode with the intention of rallying the masses to world domination.
Deoxys: Um, Mewtwo?
Mewtwo: Shut up.
Poliwhirl
Piplup
Chimchar
Mew
Skuntank
Dusknoir
Croagunk
Chatot
Deoxys (Guest star from The Ballad of Deoxys and Mewtwo)
Mewtwo (Guest star from The Ballad of Deoxys and Mewtwo)
Grovyle
Snorunt
Snorunt Tour Group
Nancy the Naughty Banette (Guest star from The Ballad of Deoxys and Mewtwo)
Celebi (Guest appearance)
Lucario (Mentioned only)
Sheriff Magnezone (Guest appearance)
Magnemite officers (Guest appearance)
Piplup
Chimchar
Mew
Skuntank
Dusknoir
Croagunk
Chatot
Deoxys (Guest star from The Ballad of Deoxys and Mewtwo)
Mewtwo (Guest star from The Ballad of Deoxys and Mewtwo)
Grovyle
Snorunt
Snorunt Tour Group
Nancy the Naughty Banette (Guest star from The Ballad of Deoxys and Mewtwo)
Celebi (Guest appearance)
Lucario (Mentioned only)
Sheriff Magnezone (Guest appearance)
Magnemite officers (Guest appearance)
Hope you all like it!
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funny, and (if possible) better than the last one. absolutely jaw-droppingly, gob-smackingly, stupilously (whatever that means) brilliant! and now, the the irritating process of waiting for the next show, of both this, and explorers of the Core.
(and i wonder what Mewtwo looks like as a cheese wheel. if he looks like what i think he looks like, that would be absolutely hilarious)
(and i wonder what Mewtwo looks like as a cheese wheel. if he looks like what i think he looks like, that would be absolutely hilarious)
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hailflameblast
I'm coming...
Sorry for being late.
Anyway, this kind of confusion is what I like.
Anyway, this kind of confusion is what I like.
GalladeRocks
Son of a Beach
I edited in the Behind-the-Scenes segments at the end of the chapter, for those who already read it. And here's a preview for next week's episode.
Skuntank: Dusknoir, why are we the ones reading the preview?
Dusknoir: I don't wonder. At least we're getting payed for this!
Skuntank: They should be paying us to sit in that balcony every night.
Dusknoir: Well, let's take a look at this preview. Apparently, they're bringing in some new cast members, a bunch of Torchic, from the look of it.
Skuntank: That's all we need.
Dusknoir: More heckling targets?
Skuntank: No, more fire hazards!
Dusknoir: In particular, it seems that Poliwhirl falls head over heels for one of the Torchic.
Skuntank: What, you mean the stunt guy? This ought to be interesting.
Dusknoir: There's also going to be a musical number featuring the entire cast, including dancing bananas.
Skuntank: Sounds a-peel-ing!
Dusknoir: Well, that joke sure wasn't!
Skuntank: Ho ho!
Dusknoir: Ha ha!
I hope you're looking forward to the next chapter!
Dusknoir: What was that?
That was me.
Skuntank: That's very disturbing.
Dusknoir: It's rather weird.
Skuntank: It's somewhat amusing.
Dusknoir: Yes it is! More!
Skuntank: More, more!
Ok, guys, that's enough! See ya next show!
Dusknoir: Alright, mysterious voice, we'll see ya next show!
Skuntank: Dusknoir, why are we the ones reading the preview?
Dusknoir: I don't wonder. At least we're getting payed for this!
Skuntank: They should be paying us to sit in that balcony every night.
Dusknoir: Well, let's take a look at this preview. Apparently, they're bringing in some new cast members, a bunch of Torchic, from the look of it.
Skuntank: That's all we need.
Dusknoir: More heckling targets?
Skuntank: No, more fire hazards!
Dusknoir: In particular, it seems that Poliwhirl falls head over heels for one of the Torchic.
Skuntank: What, you mean the stunt guy? This ought to be interesting.
Dusknoir: There's also going to be a musical number featuring the entire cast, including dancing bananas.
Skuntank: Sounds a-peel-ing!
Dusknoir: Well, that joke sure wasn't!
Skuntank: Ho ho!
Dusknoir: Ha ha!
I hope you're looking forward to the next chapter!
Dusknoir: What was that?
That was me.
Skuntank: That's very disturbing.
Dusknoir: It's rather weird.
Skuntank: It's somewhat amusing.
Dusknoir: Yes it is! More!
Skuntank: More, more!
Ok, guys, that's enough! See ya next show!
Dusknoir: Alright, mysterious voice, we'll see ya next show!
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GalladeRocks
Son of a Beach
@Ysavvryl: I'm glad you liked the way I portrayed your characters. I did everything I could to write them like you would. And I included Mewtwo's cheese line just for you, since I knew you'd wanted to put that in your story.
@treeco123: Thanks for pointing out the mistake, I'll go fix it.
@treeco123: Thanks for pointing out the mistake, I'll go fix it.
Lightening was mispelled.
There is also an "o" before the last "u" in populous.
Definitely, not definetly.
I think you mean reached.
Poor Deoxys. xDDDD Otherwise that was hilarious. xDD
I too wish to see a Mewtwo the Cheese Wheel. *gets an idea* GalladeRocks and Ysavvryl, may I attempt to make a Mewtwo the Cheese Wheel sprite?
xD One word. Hilarious. XDDDDDD
Over all, I think this was even better than the pilot! Also, could you please put me on the PM list?
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GalladeRocks
Son of a Beach
Thanks for pointing out all those mistakes, Rotom. Yes, you're on the PM list, and I think a Mewtwo the Cheese Wheel sprite would be awesome! I'd go ahead and ask Ysavvryl, but I'm fine with it.
Also, this week's question-and-answer segment will simply be for Piplup and the cast members. Remember, only one question per person. However, this time, there will not be a limit to five people. Whatever questions don't get used this week will just get bumped back to next week.
Also, this week's question-and-answer segment will simply be for Piplup and the cast members. Remember, only one question per person. However, this time, there will not be a limit to five people. Whatever questions don't get used this week will just get bumped back to next week.
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GalladeRocks
Son of a Beach
Both of your questions are accepted. I'm sure that Piplup and the gang will have some good answers.
Snorunt: Did you tell them about the fee, yet?
Oh, right, sorry. There is now a 25 cent-
Snorunt: 50!
A 50 cent charge for each question from now on. Snorunt, don't you think that's a little extreme?
Snorunt: How else are you supposed to pay our salary?
You don't get a salary.
Snorunt: My point exactly!
Snorunt: Did you tell them about the fee, yet?
Oh, right, sorry. There is now a 25 cent-
Snorunt: 50!
A 50 cent charge for each question from now on. Snorunt, don't you think that's a little extreme?
Snorunt: How else are you supposed to pay our salary?
You don't get a salary.
Snorunt: My point exactly!
DaggerThruMyHeart911
Foliatus Lacerta
Okay, here's a question for Chimchar.
What's the weirdest place you've ever found something you'd lost?
I'm a little scared to know the answer.
What's the weirdest place you've ever found something you'd lost?
I'm a little scared to know the answer.
GalladeRocks
Son of a Beach
Sure, sounds like a good question!
Chimchar: Has anybody seen my jokebook?
Snorunt: I think I'd check right up your-
Poliwhirl: Snorunt! There are kids reading this!
Chimchar: Has anybody seen my jokebook?
Snorunt: I think I'd check right up your-
Poliwhirl: Snorunt! There are kids reading this!
hailflameblast
I'm coming...
My question is addressed to Lucario.
"How did you create a cloning potion, and what happened to Munchlax's clones>?"
"How did you create a cloning potion, and what happened to Munchlax's clones>?"
GalladeRocks
Son of a Beach
Alright, question accepted! Actually, to be honest, I hadn't really thought anything about the fate of Munchlax's clones.
Snorunt: I tried selling them in the gift shop, but Chatot yelled at me for it. He said it was "immortal" or something like that.
Chatot: That's "immoral", you miscreant. The only things that are immortal are the laws of our country and the spirit of patriotism.
Snorunt: And cash. Don't forget cash.
Chimchar: And humor!
Dusknoir: Or lack of!
Ok, guys, settle down. Can't I go one post without being interrupted?
Skuntank: You're the one at the keyboard, you know.
Touche. Now shut up.
Snorunt: I tried selling them in the gift shop, but Chatot yelled at me for it. He said it was "immortal" or something like that.
Chatot: That's "immoral", you miscreant. The only things that are immortal are the laws of our country and the spirit of patriotism.
Snorunt: And cash. Don't forget cash.
Chimchar: And humor!
Dusknoir: Or lack of!
Ok, guys, settle down. Can't I go one post without being interrupted?
Skuntank: You're the one at the keyboard, you know.
Touche. Now shut up.
GalladeRocks
Son of a Beach
Onward to Chapter 3! Also, here's a link to Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody on Youtube.
Episode 3: Love Tastes Just Like Chicken
"It's an orchestra of Delibird!"
Skuntank was right. As the curtains parted and the theme song began, a platform rose up from the floor in front of the stage. It was completely covered in seated rows of Delibird, all with musical instruments. Some had trumpets, some had flutes, some had violins, and one even had a tuba.
As the song continued, Skuntank leaned out over the balcony rail, squinting. "I'm not the only one seeing this, am I? It's an orchestra of Delibird!"
"They probably just took the job for the halibut!" Dusknoir suggested. He and Skuntank both cackled uproariously.
This is what we call our Pokemon Show!
The giant sign lowered down from the ceiling and, as usual, Poliwhirl popped out from the "O" in "SHOW". He wielded a trumpet and lifted it to his lips. He blew, and a noise which sounded something like a fish speaking upset stomach came out. The entire audience snickered. Poliwhirl turned the trumpet around, peering into the front to see if there was an obstruction. Apparently spotting something, he reached in. When his hand came back out, he was quite displeased to realize that he was holding a bomb.
KABLAAM!
*****
Piplup smacked his forehead as he led the other actors backstage. "I wonder if Poliwhirl will ever get that right," he wondered aloud.
"You'd better hope not!" Snorunt assured, rushing to catch up to his employer. "The viewers dig it!"
"Si, he's right," Corphish agreed, appearing on Piplup's other side. "Every time Poliwhirl hurts himself, the ratings go up! Hey hey!"
"Well, if Poliwhirl's alright with it, I'll go with the crowd," Piplup shrugged.
Corphish nodded. "Si, Si."
"Besides, Poliwhirl's a stuntman!" Snorunt added. "What else do we pay him for than putting himself in intense pain? It's what he lives for!"
"I suppose-" Piplup began, then he tackled Snorunt and Corphish to the ground. "Look out!"
A bomb sailed over their heads. An explosion rattled the stage and a battle ax flew through the air.
"Oopsey daisy!"
Croagunk hurried over, a distraught look on his face. "Ooh oh," he cried. He looked over the fallen Pokemon. Piplup rose and brushed the dust off his chest. Snorunt and Corphish quickly scampered away before any more missiles came their way.
"Croagunk!" Piplup sighed. "Was that your bomb?"
Croagunk nodded. "Yep yep! Boomy-boomy was for kitchen!"
"No!" Piplup growled. "No boomy-boomy in kitchen!"
"What aboot chainsaw and bazooky?"
Before Piplup could answer, a large group of orange chickens hopped up the stairs. All of them were clucking nervously as they made their way up to Piplup.
"Chic chic?" One of the chickens stepped up ahead of the rest. She wore a pink collar around her neck, distinguishing her from the others.
"Oh, you're the Torchic, aren't you?" Piplup questioned, turning away from Croagunk.
"Chic," the lead Torchic nodded.
"Welcome to The Pokemon Show!" Piplup grinned. "It's great to have you joining our cast!"
Torchic grinned as well. "Chic!" She turned to the other Torchic and nodded, and they all turned back and headed down the stairs once again.
Smoke filled the air suddenly. Piplup turned to see a charred Poliwhirl limping towards him. "Oh, hey Poliwhirl. Get a little heated up there tonight?"
"You could say that," Poliwhirl sighed. "But a stunt professional gets used to it after two or three wipeouts. I've been through worse."
"Anyone in this theater can testify to that," Piplup agreed. He gestured to Torchic, who still stood beside him. "By the way, did you meet Torchic?"
Poliwhirl turned to face the chicken, and music filled the air. The pink collar, the gleaming orange feathers, the soulful eyes...well, maybe not the soulful eyes. But still, it was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen, right up there with the cannon he'd gotten for his tenth birthday. He could see himself skipping merrily through a field of bright flowers, Torchic right by his side. I can't see me lovin' nobody but you, for all my life! When you're with me, baby the skies will be blue, for all my-
"Poliwhirl?"
The vision dancing through Poliwhirl's head was abruptly shattered by Piplup's voice. He shook himself, snapping back to attention. "Er, sorry. What?"
"I asked if you'd met Torchic yet."
Torchic smiled expectantly. "Chic!"
I can't see me-
"Poliwhirl!"
Once again, Poliwhirl snapped out of his trance. "What?"
Piplup sighed. "What's up tonight, Poliwhirl?"
Poliwhirl frowned. "What'd I do?" He looked around. "And where's Torchic?"
"When I tried introducing you to her, you spaced off. She ended up walking away."
"What? Where'd she go?"
Piplup shrugged. "How should I know?" He looked up at the clock on the wall. "Well, Croagunk should be going on right about now. We'd better get backstage before he pulls out the chainsaw."
"Right," Poliwhirl nodded. As he stumbled down the stairs behind Piplup, thoughts of the prettiest chicken in the world flooded his head.
*****
"Gunk gunk gunk!" Croagunk sang, clapping his spoon and fork together as he danced around the kitchen setup. He turned out to face the crowd and tossed the utensils over his head, bouncing them off the cabinets. "Helloo!" he called. "Tooday, we making flappy-jackies!" He set a frying pan on the counter in front of him. There were already a few perfectly formed pancakes sizzling on it.
"This ought to be interesting!" Skunktank commented, resting his paws on the balcony rail.
"I don't see how it could get any worse," Dusknoir pointed out. "They've already used two bomb jokes tonight." His eye opened in alarm as he noticed a bomb hanging down from the ceiling in front of him. He quickly recoiled, hiding beneath his chair as the explosion rocked the balcony.
Skuntank cackled. "Three's the charm!"
"Ookey dookey!" Croagunk called, picking up the pan. "Time to flip the flappy-jackies!" He swung the pan upward, sending the pancakes flying straight up into the air. They flew, and they flew, and they flew...
Splat!
Every mouth in the theater fell open. The pancakes had stuck to the ceiling.
"Oooh oh!" Croagunk gasped. "The flappy-jackies!" He put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. "Here flappy-jackies!"
The flappy-jackies didn't move.
He clapped his hands. "Come here, flappy-jackies!"
There was still no response from the flappy-jackies.
"Bad flappy-jackies!" Croagunk snarled. He through open the counter drawer in front of him and whipped out a shotgun. The crowd members screamed and threw themselves to the floor just as the first shots were fired.
*****
Backstage, Poliwhirl winced as the flappy-jackies plummeted down from the ceiling, as well as a dozen large chunks of plaster. But he didn't have time to worry about the trigger-happy chef right now. There were more important matters to attend to.
"Snorunt!" he called, hurrying to find his friend. "Snorunt!"
Snorunt looked up in time to see Poliwhirl tumble down the stairs yet again. "Geesh, man! What's your problem with walking?"
"Forget that!" Poliwhirl cried, climbing back to his feet. "I need help!"
"Help?" Snorunt tilted his head curiously. "You know I charge for help."
"No time!" Poliwhirl urged. "I am in love!"
Snorunt gaped. "Love? Poliwhirl, what have you gotten yourself into?" He paused, pondering. "Is it that Gardevoir from Team Charm? I'll admit, she's one sweet babe!"
"No, not Gardevoir," Poliwhirl growled. "This is a really hot chick!"
"Lopunny?"
"No, not Lopunny! Torchic! I'm in love with Torchic."
"Wow. When you said 'hot chick', I didn't think you meant it literally.
"What's wrong with Torchic?"
If Snorunt had hair, he would have been pulling it out. "What's wrong with her? She can't even speak! It's always just 'Chic' this, and 'Chic', that! 'Chic, chic, chic, chic, chic, chic, chic'!"
"I think it's cute," Poliwhirl swooned.
"Wow, dude. You've got problems."
"Fine," Poliwhirl turned away and began walking upstairs. "I'll just find somebody else to help me."
"Wait!" Snorunt hurried to catch up to Poliwhirl.
"Change your mind?"
"No, I'm just anxious to see how this turns out."
"You're a jerk, you know that?"
"You're just figuring that out now?"
*****
"Wocka wocka!" Chimchar grinned. Then he frowned. "No no, that's all wrong! Wocka wocka! Wocka wocka? Wocka wocka?"
"Chimchar, you're on in two!" Grovyle alerted as he rushed by.
Chimchar nodded. "Alright, I'm ready!"
"Chimchar! Chimchar!"
Chimchar turned to see Poliwhirl and Snorunt running towards him. "Hey guys! What's up?"
"I'll make this quick," Poliwhirl assured. "I need romantic advice."
"Ooh, romantic advice?" Chimchar rubbed his hands together, smiling. "Who's the lucky lady?"
"Torchic."
"Ooh, Torchic? Nice choice, my friend!"
Snorunt gaped. "Nice choice? That's it, I'm just gonna shut my yap and keep out of this."
"Well?" Chimchar urged. "What's your issue?"
"I need to do something for Torchic to show her that I care," Poliwhirl explained. "I was too busy day-dreaming about her earlier to even talk to her. What should I do?"
"I'd get her flowers," Chimchar suggested. He whisked a bouquet of roses seemingly from nowhere and held it out in front of Poliwhirl. "Now, granted, I've never exactly had a girlfriend, but I think women like flowers. Right, Snorunt?"
"Like I said, I'm staying out of this. I'm simply an observer."
Poliwhirl beamed. "Flowers, eh? Sounds good!" He quickly snatched the bouquet out of Chimchar's hands and took off to find Torchic. "Thanks, Chimchar!"
"Wait!" Chimchar cried. "I need those flowers for my act!"
"Too late now," Snorunt shrugged. He started heading off after Poliwhirl. "Don't worry. I'm sure he'll take good care of them."
Piplup appeared suddenly and pushed Chimchar out through the curtains. "Ok, Chimchar, you're on!"
Chimchar strode quickly out to center stage and bowed to the audience. "Hello, ladies and germs!" he called. "Tonight, I will be performing jokes on any subject! That's right, jokes on any subject! Just give me a word, and I'll make a joke out of it!"
"Torchic!" someone screamed from the audience. The curtain rustled suddenly as the Torchic which had been peeking out retreated in surprise.
"Torchic?" Chimchar grinned. "Ok, why did the Torchic cross the road?"
"To get away from your humor?"
Chimchar looked up to the balcony and sighed as Skuntank and Dusknoir glared down at him. "Oh, come on! I thought you hated our show! What are you doing here?"
"We were in a contest!" Skuntank answered.
"Yeah!" Dusknoir added. "We lost!"
"Well, if you're going to sit up there and take up those valuable balcony seats, at least be useful and give me a word!" Chimchar challenged. "Go ahead, just try to come up with something I can't joke about!"
Skuntank sat pondering a moment before answering. "Amoeba!"
Chimchar frowned. "A meba? What's a meba?"
"Rhododendron!" Dusknoir shouted.
"Quit making up words!" Chimchar screamed. "That's not fair!"
"Ok, how about chimp?" Skuntank yelled.
Chimchar frowned once again. "Chimp? What's a chimp? I said to quit making up words!"
"He's chimp-ly horrific!" Dusknoir cackled.
"And so was that joke!" Skuntank scoffed.
"Alright, I surrender!" Chimchar screamed. "You two win!"
Dusknoir frowned. "Oh, don't give up! It's no fun if you quit!"
"Let him go, Dusknoir," Skuntank ordered. "If you don't, then his boss will."
"That's it!" Chimchar sighed. "Good night, ladies and gentlemen. GOOD NIGHT." With that, he turned away stomped back between the curtains.
*****
"There she is!" Poliwhirl declared. He peeked in the open dressing room door, where Torchic sat in a swivel chair, gazing at her reflection in the mirror. Boldly, he swung the door open fully and stepped inside. "Hello, Torchic!"
Torchic looked up in surprise. "Chic?"
Snorunt peeked in through the doorway, holding up a video camera. "Ooh, this is gonna be good!"
Poliwhirl held out the bouquet of roses. "Here, Torchic. I wanted to apologize for ignoring you earlier. Here, I got you these flowers."
Torchic hopped out of her chair and stepped up to Poliwhirl. "Chic!" She sniffed deeply at the roses.
A torrent of water sprayed out of the flowers.
Torchic was knocked backwards off her feet, landing in a soaking wet puddle on the floor. Snorunt fell over, laughing hysterically. Poliwhirl gasped in horror. "What in the heck?"
"Chic!" Torchic rose to her feet, fire in her eyes. An instant later, Poliwhirl was launched backwards, tossed clear out the door by the force of Torchic's kick.
Poliwhirl groaned and sat up, looking at the bouquet. "What is up with these flowers!"
"Those were for Chimchar's act!" Snorunt pointed out. "They're squirting flowers!"
"Squirting flowers?" Poliwhirl smacked his head. "Aaaugh!"
Snorunt grinned. "I would have told you sooner, but I had to get some good footage for your website. I'd qualify getting punted by a Torchic a stunt, wouldn't you?"
Before Poliwhirl could answer, Lucario's voice rang out from the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen, the following presentation goes out to all of you with relationship problems."
Poliwhirl was gone in a flash.
*****
Back on stage, Lucario held a beaker filled with pink liquid up into the air so that the entire audience could see. Munchlax stood obediently at his side, although he seemed wary of the new experiment.
"Yes, ladies and gentlemen, what I hold in my hand is a love potion!" Lucario declared triumphantly. "Having troubles with you know who? One drink of this potion will have your sweetie-pie back at your side!"
Poliwhirl rushed onto the stage and snatched the bottle out of Lucario's hand. "Sorry, Lucario, I need this!" he explained.
"Wait!" Lucario gasped as Poliwhirl hurried backstage again. "What are you doing? That potion is highly experimental!"
Of course, it was too late. Munchlax didn't care, however. Tonight, at least, he wouldn't be the guinea pig. And that was satisfying enough.
*****
"Oh Torchic!" Poliwhirl called. He was back outside the dressing room, anxiously waiting for the return of his sweet.
Cautiously, Torchic poked her head through the doorway. When she caught sight of Poliwhirl, she scowled. "Chic!"
"Don't worry, Torchic," Poliwhirl assured. "There will be no flowers involved this time." He held up a bottle of pinkish liquid. "I'm just bringing you a bottle of Pecha Water, courtesy of Spinda's Cafe."
Apparently deciding that he was telling the truth, Torchic reached out with her foot and grabbed the bottle which Poliwhirl offered her. She lifted it to her beak, tilted up, and took a swig.
Poliwhirl looked on expectantly. Torchic lowered the bottle and handed it back to Poliwhirl. She smacked her beak, then turned back to Poliwhirl again. There was a peculiar look in her eyes. 'Could it be?' Poliwhirl wondered. 'Does she see me now as I see her?'
Torchic took a step forward. Poliwhirl held his breath.
Torchic opened her mouth.
Then, she puked.
Snorunt, who had finally managed to catch up to Poliwhirl once again, dropped to the ground and rolled on the floor, laughing his head off. Poliwhirl glared down at him as Torchic stood and staggered into her room. "Do you mind?"
"I was just trying to tell you what Lucario told me!" Snorunt explained. "After you ran away, he told me about the love potion. It turns out that it only successfully creates love 2.81% of the time. And it induces vomiting."
"You couldn't have told me that earlier?" Poliwhirl growled.
"Well, you were in too much of a hurry! I couldn't catch up to you!"
"Nice excuse."
Snorunt sighed. "Alright, alright, I'll make it up to you. I think I know who can help you out."
Poliwhirl looked up hopefully. "Really? You do?"
"Yep. I'll take you to him now."
*****
Poliwhirl and Snorunt sat quietly in wooden chairs. The room they sat in was dark, lit only by a few dim candles.
"So, you're here to learn from the master, hey?" The voice came from the opposite side of the room. Its owner sat in the shadows, in a swivel chair facing away from his guests.
"Yes," Snorunt answered. "My friend needs your advice."
"Hey hey, I will do what I can." The chair spun around and the shadowy figure jumped out, stepping into the candle light. Poliwhirl sighed.
"Corphish? You're my advisor?"
Corphish crossed his arms over his chest. "I like to think of myself as a romanticist."
"Whatever," Poliwhirl shrugged. "What is your advice?"
"Music!"
Poliwhirl frowned. "Music?"
"Yes, music!" Corphish nodded. "To win the lady's heart, you must serenade her!"
"What kind of music should I go with?"
Corphish pondered the question for a moment before answering. "Hey hey, the ladies, they like the Spanish guitars. A viola or clarinet might even work, but I'd go with the guitar."
"Alright, guitar it is," Poliwhirl nodded.
*****
"Alright, maybe not the guitar," Poliwhirl grumbled.
Corphish eyed the guitar, which was smashed over Poliwhirl's head. He decided not to ask what had went wrong. "So I see." He scratched his head. "Hey hey, Poliwhirl, me amigo, I am sorry. I have nothing else left to give you. All that I've ever had to rely on was serenading and good pick-up lines, and it's clear you have neither of those."
Poliwhirl sighed. "Oh well. Thanks for helping, Corphish. I guess my love is just not meant to be."
"Don't give up so soon."
Poliwhirl and Corphish looked up in surprise as Snorunt entered the room. "Snorunt?" Poliwhirl inquired. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, you know about the big musical finale tonight, right?" Snorunt asked.
Poliwhirl nodded. "Bohemian Rhapsody. Yeah, of course I know. Practically the entire cast is performing in it."
"Well, that's exactly what you need!" Snorunt pointed out. "I went and talked to Piplup."
"What does this have to do with anything?" Poliwhirl grumbled. "Get to the point!"
Snorunt grinned. "Well, I suggested to Piplup to pair you with Torchic at the beginning of the song! You two will be singing together!"
Poliwhirl's eyes opened wide. "Really? You did that for me?"
"Yeah, yeah, what are friends for, and all that garbage," Snorunt shrugged. "The song starts in just a few minutes. Everybody else is getting ready, so you should head off, too."
"Yeah, yeah, right!" Poliwhirl nodded hurriedly. He rushed over and scooped up Snorunt in his arms, hugging him tightly. "Thanks, ole buddy!"
Snorunt struggled out of the embrace. "Hey, lemme go! Just go get ready, okay, you big lug?"
With that, Poliwhirl was gone.
*****
"Ok, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's finale!"
Piplup and Grovyle sat in the balcony, where Skuntank and Dusknoir normally sat. "Tonight," Piplup continued. "Our cast will be performing a well known classic, Bohemian Rhapsody. I'm sure you all know it and love it, so here it is!"
The lights went dark.
Then, a dim light appeared in the darkness, illuminating four darkened silhouettes. The three of them were clucking in unison, while the one in front began to sing:
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.
Slowly, more lights show down on the stage, revealing the identities of the darkened figures. The three in the back were Torchic, one of them wearing a pink collar. Standing before them was none other than Poliwhirl, still singing.
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.
'Cause I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low.
Anyway the wind blows doesn't really matter to me.
To me.
The spotlight shifted suddenly, plunging Poliwhirl and the Torchic back into darkness. It briefly shown on Bidoof, sitting at his piano, before shifting once again.
Momma!
Momma!
It was Primeape, sitting at his drum set. He nodded, apparently satisfied with his singing.
Yeah! Momma!
Momma...
The air suddenly exploded with sound as Primeape bellowed at the top of his lungs.
Momma!
Momma!
Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma!
With that, he pounded away at his drums.
Momma! Yoo hoo!
Momma! Yoo hoo, Momma!
Momma! Momma...
Primeape's voice trailed away and he became downcast. Then he looked back up suddenly. "Dadda?" He jumped down from the drum set and sped away. "Dadda?"
The music stopped and the spotlight briefly crossed Bidoof and his piano again. Then, the music began again as Corphish stepped onto the stage.
I see a little silhouette of a 'mon.
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?
Diglett, Abomasnow, Machamp, Plusle, and Minun all appeared in a cluster in the middle of the stage.
Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightning me!
Munchlax and Slowbro stepped forward.
Munch munch munch munch!
Galileo!
Munch munch munch munch!
Galileo!
Munch munch munch munch munch munch munch!
Four Delibird danced in front of the two.
Dee dee dee dee dee dee!
Lucario jumped out, standing at the edge of the stage.
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.
Three Snorunt jumped in front of him.
He's just a poor boy from a poor family.
Spare him his life from this-
MONSTROSITY!
The Snorunt were cut off as Armaldo lunged forward from the shadows and pulled them out of sight. Slightly distracted, Lucario began singing again.
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Spinda sprang up from nowhere, flanked by Zubat and Koffing.
Spinda Spinda!
Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
88 appeared and chucked a Magikarp at the nearby Wigglytuff.
Let me throw!
Spinda Spinda!
I will not let you throw!
There was a massive explosion of dynamite as Dugtrio appeared behind Wigglytuff.
Help me blow!
Spinda Spinda!
They will not let you go!
Chimchar jumped out from behind the curtain, ready to steal the spotlight. However, he immediately found himself being stared down by Skuntank and Dusknoir.
Let me joke!
Do not like your jokes!
Let me joke!
Do not like your jokes!
Let me joke!
There was another explosion and Dugtrio cackled maniacally. Through the smoke and dust, Chatot stomped out across the stage, screaming.
No no no no no no no!
Croagunk popped up in front of Chatot, clutching a Farfetch'd in one hand.
Flappy-jackies, flappy-jackies!
Mamma mia, let me go!
An enormous group of Rattata dressed up as bananas appeared suddenly on the stage, alongside Electivire, Garchomp, Charizard, Meganium, Rampardos, Bastiodon, and Munchlax.
Does anyone know if there is a part for me,
For me,
For-
Munch!!!!!!!
Immediately, the stage lit up with bright neon lights. The Pandemonium were seated at their instruments, blaring away. Skuntank, Dusknoir, and Chatot all covered their ears in frustration as Chimchar, Drowzee, Poliwhirl, Corphish, Snorunt, Croagunk, Slowbro, and 88 danced across the stage. Pikachu sang loudly, backed up by Combusken and Sunflora, while Primeape banged away at the drums.
So they tell us this video's going to fly!
All I know is we're not getting paid tonight!
Soon, the entire cast was out on the stage. In unison, all of the Pokemon sang together.
Oooooooooooooooooooh!
Ooh, yeah! Ooh, yeah!
They all formed a line and swayed together as one while the music slowed. Finally, the spotlight came to settle on Bidoof and his piano, which Mew not sat on.
Nothing really matters, anyone can see.
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters,
But Moi!!!!!!!
The audience applauded as the music faded to a stop and the cast slowly moved off the stage.
Anyway the wind blows!
*****
Piplup sighed and brushed the sweat off of his forehead. Beside him, Grovyle smiled. "I can't believe nothing went wrong."
"Tell me about it."
"Chatot seemed a little less than enthusiastic about the musical selection."
"Again, tell me about it."
"Maybe we should let him pick the song next time."
"Maybe."
*****
Poliwhirl sighed happily as Snorunt opened the door to his dressing room. "Hey Snorunt!"
"Hey Poliwhirl!" Snorunt grinned. "Well? Did my plan work?"
Poliwhirl looked down at Torchic, leaning against his shoulder, snoring softly. "Yeah, I think it worked."
"I'm glad," Snorunt grinned again. He paused. "You do know that you owe me for that."
"Of course, whatever you want."
"Get me a girlfriend."
Poliwhirl gulped. "Sure, I'll try. Who do you got your eye on?"
"I don't know. Just get me somebody!"
"Why don't I just give you cash instead?"
"Cash don't buy love, kid."
Poliwhirl groaned. "Oh sure, now you decide to get some morals."
Snorunt beamed. "Love stinks, don't it?"
"Not when you've got it, Snorunt," Poliwhirl smiled contentedly as he began to doze off. "Not when you've got it."
BEHIND-THE-SCENES: Corphish's Words of Wisdom
What the Womens Want
Women want to feel
you feel what they feel,
even if you don't feel
like feeling what they feel.
Sorry that I left out the Q&A sequence, I ran out of time.
Episode 3: Love Tastes Just Like Chicken
"It's an orchestra of Delibird!"
Skuntank was right. As the curtains parted and the theme song began, a platform rose up from the floor in front of the stage. It was completely covered in seated rows of Delibird, all with musical instruments. Some had trumpets, some had flutes, some had violins, and one even had a tuba.
As the song continued, Skuntank leaned out over the balcony rail, squinting. "I'm not the only one seeing this, am I? It's an orchestra of Delibird!"
"They probably just took the job for the halibut!" Dusknoir suggested. He and Skuntank both cackled uproariously.
This is what we call our Pokemon Show!
The giant sign lowered down from the ceiling and, as usual, Poliwhirl popped out from the "O" in "SHOW". He wielded a trumpet and lifted it to his lips. He blew, and a noise which sounded something like a fish speaking upset stomach came out. The entire audience snickered. Poliwhirl turned the trumpet around, peering into the front to see if there was an obstruction. Apparently spotting something, he reached in. When his hand came back out, he was quite displeased to realize that he was holding a bomb.
KABLAAM!
*****
Piplup smacked his forehead as he led the other actors backstage. "I wonder if Poliwhirl will ever get that right," he wondered aloud.
"You'd better hope not!" Snorunt assured, rushing to catch up to his employer. "The viewers dig it!"
"Si, he's right," Corphish agreed, appearing on Piplup's other side. "Every time Poliwhirl hurts himself, the ratings go up! Hey hey!"
"Well, if Poliwhirl's alright with it, I'll go with the crowd," Piplup shrugged.
Corphish nodded. "Si, Si."
"Besides, Poliwhirl's a stuntman!" Snorunt added. "What else do we pay him for than putting himself in intense pain? It's what he lives for!"
"I suppose-" Piplup began, then he tackled Snorunt and Corphish to the ground. "Look out!"
A bomb sailed over their heads. An explosion rattled the stage and a battle ax flew through the air.
"Oopsey daisy!"
Croagunk hurried over, a distraught look on his face. "Ooh oh," he cried. He looked over the fallen Pokemon. Piplup rose and brushed the dust off his chest. Snorunt and Corphish quickly scampered away before any more missiles came their way.
"Croagunk!" Piplup sighed. "Was that your bomb?"
Croagunk nodded. "Yep yep! Boomy-boomy was for kitchen!"
"No!" Piplup growled. "No boomy-boomy in kitchen!"
"What aboot chainsaw and bazooky?"
Before Piplup could answer, a large group of orange chickens hopped up the stairs. All of them were clucking nervously as they made their way up to Piplup.
"Chic chic?" One of the chickens stepped up ahead of the rest. She wore a pink collar around her neck, distinguishing her from the others.
"Oh, you're the Torchic, aren't you?" Piplup questioned, turning away from Croagunk.
"Chic," the lead Torchic nodded.
"Welcome to The Pokemon Show!" Piplup grinned. "It's great to have you joining our cast!"
Torchic grinned as well. "Chic!" She turned to the other Torchic and nodded, and they all turned back and headed down the stairs once again.
Smoke filled the air suddenly. Piplup turned to see a charred Poliwhirl limping towards him. "Oh, hey Poliwhirl. Get a little heated up there tonight?"
"You could say that," Poliwhirl sighed. "But a stunt professional gets used to it after two or three wipeouts. I've been through worse."
"Anyone in this theater can testify to that," Piplup agreed. He gestured to Torchic, who still stood beside him. "By the way, did you meet Torchic?"
Poliwhirl turned to face the chicken, and music filled the air. The pink collar, the gleaming orange feathers, the soulful eyes...well, maybe not the soulful eyes. But still, it was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen, right up there with the cannon he'd gotten for his tenth birthday. He could see himself skipping merrily through a field of bright flowers, Torchic right by his side. I can't see me lovin' nobody but you, for all my life! When you're with me, baby the skies will be blue, for all my-
"Poliwhirl?"
The vision dancing through Poliwhirl's head was abruptly shattered by Piplup's voice. He shook himself, snapping back to attention. "Er, sorry. What?"
"I asked if you'd met Torchic yet."
Torchic smiled expectantly. "Chic!"
I can't see me-
"Poliwhirl!"
Once again, Poliwhirl snapped out of his trance. "What?"
Piplup sighed. "What's up tonight, Poliwhirl?"
Poliwhirl frowned. "What'd I do?" He looked around. "And where's Torchic?"
"When I tried introducing you to her, you spaced off. She ended up walking away."
"What? Where'd she go?"
Piplup shrugged. "How should I know?" He looked up at the clock on the wall. "Well, Croagunk should be going on right about now. We'd better get backstage before he pulls out the chainsaw."
"Right," Poliwhirl nodded. As he stumbled down the stairs behind Piplup, thoughts of the prettiest chicken in the world flooded his head.
*****
"Gunk gunk gunk!" Croagunk sang, clapping his spoon and fork together as he danced around the kitchen setup. He turned out to face the crowd and tossed the utensils over his head, bouncing them off the cabinets. "Helloo!" he called. "Tooday, we making flappy-jackies!" He set a frying pan on the counter in front of him. There were already a few perfectly formed pancakes sizzling on it.
"This ought to be interesting!" Skunktank commented, resting his paws on the balcony rail.
"I don't see how it could get any worse," Dusknoir pointed out. "They've already used two bomb jokes tonight." His eye opened in alarm as he noticed a bomb hanging down from the ceiling in front of him. He quickly recoiled, hiding beneath his chair as the explosion rocked the balcony.
Skuntank cackled. "Three's the charm!"
"Ookey dookey!" Croagunk called, picking up the pan. "Time to flip the flappy-jackies!" He swung the pan upward, sending the pancakes flying straight up into the air. They flew, and they flew, and they flew...
Splat!
Every mouth in the theater fell open. The pancakes had stuck to the ceiling.
"Oooh oh!" Croagunk gasped. "The flappy-jackies!" He put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. "Here flappy-jackies!"
The flappy-jackies didn't move.
He clapped his hands. "Come here, flappy-jackies!"
There was still no response from the flappy-jackies.
"Bad flappy-jackies!" Croagunk snarled. He through open the counter drawer in front of him and whipped out a shotgun. The crowd members screamed and threw themselves to the floor just as the first shots were fired.
*****
Backstage, Poliwhirl winced as the flappy-jackies plummeted down from the ceiling, as well as a dozen large chunks of plaster. But he didn't have time to worry about the trigger-happy chef right now. There were more important matters to attend to.
"Snorunt!" he called, hurrying to find his friend. "Snorunt!"
Snorunt looked up in time to see Poliwhirl tumble down the stairs yet again. "Geesh, man! What's your problem with walking?"
"Forget that!" Poliwhirl cried, climbing back to his feet. "I need help!"
"Help?" Snorunt tilted his head curiously. "You know I charge for help."
"No time!" Poliwhirl urged. "I am in love!"
Snorunt gaped. "Love? Poliwhirl, what have you gotten yourself into?" He paused, pondering. "Is it that Gardevoir from Team Charm? I'll admit, she's one sweet babe!"
"No, not Gardevoir," Poliwhirl growled. "This is a really hot chick!"
"Lopunny?"
"No, not Lopunny! Torchic! I'm in love with Torchic."
"Wow. When you said 'hot chick', I didn't think you meant it literally.
"What's wrong with Torchic?"
If Snorunt had hair, he would have been pulling it out. "What's wrong with her? She can't even speak! It's always just 'Chic' this, and 'Chic', that! 'Chic, chic, chic, chic, chic, chic, chic'!"
"I think it's cute," Poliwhirl swooned.
"Wow, dude. You've got problems."
"Fine," Poliwhirl turned away and began walking upstairs. "I'll just find somebody else to help me."
"Wait!" Snorunt hurried to catch up to Poliwhirl.
"Change your mind?"
"No, I'm just anxious to see how this turns out."
"You're a jerk, you know that?"
"You're just figuring that out now?"
*****
"Wocka wocka!" Chimchar grinned. Then he frowned. "No no, that's all wrong! Wocka wocka! Wocka wocka? Wocka wocka?"
"Chimchar, you're on in two!" Grovyle alerted as he rushed by.
Chimchar nodded. "Alright, I'm ready!"
"Chimchar! Chimchar!"
Chimchar turned to see Poliwhirl and Snorunt running towards him. "Hey guys! What's up?"
"I'll make this quick," Poliwhirl assured. "I need romantic advice."
"Ooh, romantic advice?" Chimchar rubbed his hands together, smiling. "Who's the lucky lady?"
"Torchic."
"Ooh, Torchic? Nice choice, my friend!"
Snorunt gaped. "Nice choice? That's it, I'm just gonna shut my yap and keep out of this."
"Well?" Chimchar urged. "What's your issue?"
"I need to do something for Torchic to show her that I care," Poliwhirl explained. "I was too busy day-dreaming about her earlier to even talk to her. What should I do?"
"I'd get her flowers," Chimchar suggested. He whisked a bouquet of roses seemingly from nowhere and held it out in front of Poliwhirl. "Now, granted, I've never exactly had a girlfriend, but I think women like flowers. Right, Snorunt?"
"Like I said, I'm staying out of this. I'm simply an observer."
Poliwhirl beamed. "Flowers, eh? Sounds good!" He quickly snatched the bouquet out of Chimchar's hands and took off to find Torchic. "Thanks, Chimchar!"
"Wait!" Chimchar cried. "I need those flowers for my act!"
"Too late now," Snorunt shrugged. He started heading off after Poliwhirl. "Don't worry. I'm sure he'll take good care of them."
Piplup appeared suddenly and pushed Chimchar out through the curtains. "Ok, Chimchar, you're on!"
Chimchar strode quickly out to center stage and bowed to the audience. "Hello, ladies and germs!" he called. "Tonight, I will be performing jokes on any subject! That's right, jokes on any subject! Just give me a word, and I'll make a joke out of it!"
"Torchic!" someone screamed from the audience. The curtain rustled suddenly as the Torchic which had been peeking out retreated in surprise.
"Torchic?" Chimchar grinned. "Ok, why did the Torchic cross the road?"
"To get away from your humor?"
Chimchar looked up to the balcony and sighed as Skuntank and Dusknoir glared down at him. "Oh, come on! I thought you hated our show! What are you doing here?"
"We were in a contest!" Skuntank answered.
"Yeah!" Dusknoir added. "We lost!"
"Well, if you're going to sit up there and take up those valuable balcony seats, at least be useful and give me a word!" Chimchar challenged. "Go ahead, just try to come up with something I can't joke about!"
Skuntank sat pondering a moment before answering. "Amoeba!"
Chimchar frowned. "A meba? What's a meba?"
"Rhododendron!" Dusknoir shouted.
"Quit making up words!" Chimchar screamed. "That's not fair!"
"Ok, how about chimp?" Skuntank yelled.
Chimchar frowned once again. "Chimp? What's a chimp? I said to quit making up words!"
"He's chimp-ly horrific!" Dusknoir cackled.
"And so was that joke!" Skuntank scoffed.
"Alright, I surrender!" Chimchar screamed. "You two win!"
Dusknoir frowned. "Oh, don't give up! It's no fun if you quit!"
"Let him go, Dusknoir," Skuntank ordered. "If you don't, then his boss will."
"That's it!" Chimchar sighed. "Good night, ladies and gentlemen. GOOD NIGHT." With that, he turned away stomped back between the curtains.
*****
"There she is!" Poliwhirl declared. He peeked in the open dressing room door, where Torchic sat in a swivel chair, gazing at her reflection in the mirror. Boldly, he swung the door open fully and stepped inside. "Hello, Torchic!"
Torchic looked up in surprise. "Chic?"
Snorunt peeked in through the doorway, holding up a video camera. "Ooh, this is gonna be good!"
Poliwhirl held out the bouquet of roses. "Here, Torchic. I wanted to apologize for ignoring you earlier. Here, I got you these flowers."
Torchic hopped out of her chair and stepped up to Poliwhirl. "Chic!" She sniffed deeply at the roses.
A torrent of water sprayed out of the flowers.
Torchic was knocked backwards off her feet, landing in a soaking wet puddle on the floor. Snorunt fell over, laughing hysterically. Poliwhirl gasped in horror. "What in the heck?"
"Chic!" Torchic rose to her feet, fire in her eyes. An instant later, Poliwhirl was launched backwards, tossed clear out the door by the force of Torchic's kick.
Poliwhirl groaned and sat up, looking at the bouquet. "What is up with these flowers!"
"Those were for Chimchar's act!" Snorunt pointed out. "They're squirting flowers!"
"Squirting flowers?" Poliwhirl smacked his head. "Aaaugh!"
Snorunt grinned. "I would have told you sooner, but I had to get some good footage for your website. I'd qualify getting punted by a Torchic a stunt, wouldn't you?"
Before Poliwhirl could answer, Lucario's voice rang out from the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen, the following presentation goes out to all of you with relationship problems."
Poliwhirl was gone in a flash.
*****
Back on stage, Lucario held a beaker filled with pink liquid up into the air so that the entire audience could see. Munchlax stood obediently at his side, although he seemed wary of the new experiment.
"Yes, ladies and gentlemen, what I hold in my hand is a love potion!" Lucario declared triumphantly. "Having troubles with you know who? One drink of this potion will have your sweetie-pie back at your side!"
Poliwhirl rushed onto the stage and snatched the bottle out of Lucario's hand. "Sorry, Lucario, I need this!" he explained.
"Wait!" Lucario gasped as Poliwhirl hurried backstage again. "What are you doing? That potion is highly experimental!"
Of course, it was too late. Munchlax didn't care, however. Tonight, at least, he wouldn't be the guinea pig. And that was satisfying enough.
*****
"Oh Torchic!" Poliwhirl called. He was back outside the dressing room, anxiously waiting for the return of his sweet.
Cautiously, Torchic poked her head through the doorway. When she caught sight of Poliwhirl, she scowled. "Chic!"
"Don't worry, Torchic," Poliwhirl assured. "There will be no flowers involved this time." He held up a bottle of pinkish liquid. "I'm just bringing you a bottle of Pecha Water, courtesy of Spinda's Cafe."
Apparently deciding that he was telling the truth, Torchic reached out with her foot and grabbed the bottle which Poliwhirl offered her. She lifted it to her beak, tilted up, and took a swig.
Poliwhirl looked on expectantly. Torchic lowered the bottle and handed it back to Poliwhirl. She smacked her beak, then turned back to Poliwhirl again. There was a peculiar look in her eyes. 'Could it be?' Poliwhirl wondered. 'Does she see me now as I see her?'
Torchic took a step forward. Poliwhirl held his breath.
Torchic opened her mouth.
Then, she puked.
Snorunt, who had finally managed to catch up to Poliwhirl once again, dropped to the ground and rolled on the floor, laughing his head off. Poliwhirl glared down at him as Torchic stood and staggered into her room. "Do you mind?"
"I was just trying to tell you what Lucario told me!" Snorunt explained. "After you ran away, he told me about the love potion. It turns out that it only successfully creates love 2.81% of the time. And it induces vomiting."
"You couldn't have told me that earlier?" Poliwhirl growled.
"Well, you were in too much of a hurry! I couldn't catch up to you!"
"Nice excuse."
Snorunt sighed. "Alright, alright, I'll make it up to you. I think I know who can help you out."
Poliwhirl looked up hopefully. "Really? You do?"
"Yep. I'll take you to him now."
*****
Poliwhirl and Snorunt sat quietly in wooden chairs. The room they sat in was dark, lit only by a few dim candles.
"So, you're here to learn from the master, hey?" The voice came from the opposite side of the room. Its owner sat in the shadows, in a swivel chair facing away from his guests.
"Yes," Snorunt answered. "My friend needs your advice."
"Hey hey, I will do what I can." The chair spun around and the shadowy figure jumped out, stepping into the candle light. Poliwhirl sighed.
"Corphish? You're my advisor?"
Corphish crossed his arms over his chest. "I like to think of myself as a romanticist."
"Whatever," Poliwhirl shrugged. "What is your advice?"
"Music!"
Poliwhirl frowned. "Music?"
"Yes, music!" Corphish nodded. "To win the lady's heart, you must serenade her!"
"What kind of music should I go with?"
Corphish pondered the question for a moment before answering. "Hey hey, the ladies, they like the Spanish guitars. A viola or clarinet might even work, but I'd go with the guitar."
"Alright, guitar it is," Poliwhirl nodded.
*****
"Alright, maybe not the guitar," Poliwhirl grumbled.
Corphish eyed the guitar, which was smashed over Poliwhirl's head. He decided not to ask what had went wrong. "So I see." He scratched his head. "Hey hey, Poliwhirl, me amigo, I am sorry. I have nothing else left to give you. All that I've ever had to rely on was serenading and good pick-up lines, and it's clear you have neither of those."
Poliwhirl sighed. "Oh well. Thanks for helping, Corphish. I guess my love is just not meant to be."
"Don't give up so soon."
Poliwhirl and Corphish looked up in surprise as Snorunt entered the room. "Snorunt?" Poliwhirl inquired. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, you know about the big musical finale tonight, right?" Snorunt asked.
Poliwhirl nodded. "Bohemian Rhapsody. Yeah, of course I know. Practically the entire cast is performing in it."
"Well, that's exactly what you need!" Snorunt pointed out. "I went and talked to Piplup."
"What does this have to do with anything?" Poliwhirl grumbled. "Get to the point!"
Snorunt grinned. "Well, I suggested to Piplup to pair you with Torchic at the beginning of the song! You two will be singing together!"
Poliwhirl's eyes opened wide. "Really? You did that for me?"
"Yeah, yeah, what are friends for, and all that garbage," Snorunt shrugged. "The song starts in just a few minutes. Everybody else is getting ready, so you should head off, too."
"Yeah, yeah, right!" Poliwhirl nodded hurriedly. He rushed over and scooped up Snorunt in his arms, hugging him tightly. "Thanks, ole buddy!"
Snorunt struggled out of the embrace. "Hey, lemme go! Just go get ready, okay, you big lug?"
With that, Poliwhirl was gone.
*****
"Ok, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's finale!"
Piplup and Grovyle sat in the balcony, where Skuntank and Dusknoir normally sat. "Tonight," Piplup continued. "Our cast will be performing a well known classic, Bohemian Rhapsody. I'm sure you all know it and love it, so here it is!"
The lights went dark.
Then, a dim light appeared in the darkness, illuminating four darkened silhouettes. The three of them were clucking in unison, while the one in front began to sing:
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.
Slowly, more lights show down on the stage, revealing the identities of the darkened figures. The three in the back were Torchic, one of them wearing a pink collar. Standing before them was none other than Poliwhirl, still singing.
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.
'Cause I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low.
Anyway the wind blows doesn't really matter to me.
To me.
The spotlight shifted suddenly, plunging Poliwhirl and the Torchic back into darkness. It briefly shown on Bidoof, sitting at his piano, before shifting once again.
Momma!
Momma!
It was Primeape, sitting at his drum set. He nodded, apparently satisfied with his singing.
Yeah! Momma!
Momma...
The air suddenly exploded with sound as Primeape bellowed at the top of his lungs.
Momma!
Momma!
Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma!
With that, he pounded away at his drums.
Momma! Yoo hoo!
Momma! Yoo hoo, Momma!
Momma! Momma...
Primeape's voice trailed away and he became downcast. Then he looked back up suddenly. "Dadda?" He jumped down from the drum set and sped away. "Dadda?"
The music stopped and the spotlight briefly crossed Bidoof and his piano again. Then, the music began again as Corphish stepped onto the stage.
I see a little silhouette of a 'mon.
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?
Diglett, Abomasnow, Machamp, Plusle, and Minun all appeared in a cluster in the middle of the stage.
Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightning me!
Munchlax and Slowbro stepped forward.
Munch munch munch munch!
Galileo!
Munch munch munch munch!
Galileo!
Munch munch munch munch munch munch munch!
Four Delibird danced in front of the two.
Dee dee dee dee dee dee!
Lucario jumped out, standing at the edge of the stage.
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.
Three Snorunt jumped in front of him.
He's just a poor boy from a poor family.
Spare him his life from this-
MONSTROSITY!
The Snorunt were cut off as Armaldo lunged forward from the shadows and pulled them out of sight. Slightly distracted, Lucario began singing again.
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Spinda sprang up from nowhere, flanked by Zubat and Koffing.
Spinda Spinda!
Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
88 appeared and chucked a Magikarp at the nearby Wigglytuff.
Let me throw!
Spinda Spinda!
I will not let you throw!
There was a massive explosion of dynamite as Dugtrio appeared behind Wigglytuff.
Help me blow!
Spinda Spinda!
They will not let you go!
Chimchar jumped out from behind the curtain, ready to steal the spotlight. However, he immediately found himself being stared down by Skuntank and Dusknoir.
Let me joke!
Do not like your jokes!
Let me joke!
Do not like your jokes!
Let me joke!
There was another explosion and Dugtrio cackled maniacally. Through the smoke and dust, Chatot stomped out across the stage, screaming.
No no no no no no no!
Croagunk popped up in front of Chatot, clutching a Farfetch'd in one hand.
Flappy-jackies, flappy-jackies!
Mamma mia, let me go!
An enormous group of Rattata dressed up as bananas appeared suddenly on the stage, alongside Electivire, Garchomp, Charizard, Meganium, Rampardos, Bastiodon, and Munchlax.
Does anyone know if there is a part for me,
For me,
For-
Munch!!!!!!!
Immediately, the stage lit up with bright neon lights. The Pandemonium were seated at their instruments, blaring away. Skuntank, Dusknoir, and Chatot all covered their ears in frustration as Chimchar, Drowzee, Poliwhirl, Corphish, Snorunt, Croagunk, Slowbro, and 88 danced across the stage. Pikachu sang loudly, backed up by Combusken and Sunflora, while Primeape banged away at the drums.
So they tell us this video's going to fly!
All I know is we're not getting paid tonight!
Soon, the entire cast was out on the stage. In unison, all of the Pokemon sang together.
Oooooooooooooooooooh!
Ooh, yeah! Ooh, yeah!
They all formed a line and swayed together as one while the music slowed. Finally, the spotlight came to settle on Bidoof and his piano, which Mew not sat on.
Nothing really matters, anyone can see.
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters,
But Moi!!!!!!!
The audience applauded as the music faded to a stop and the cast slowly moved off the stage.
Anyway the wind blows!
*****
Piplup sighed and brushed the sweat off of his forehead. Beside him, Grovyle smiled. "I can't believe nothing went wrong."
"Tell me about it."
"Chatot seemed a little less than enthusiastic about the musical selection."
"Again, tell me about it."
"Maybe we should let him pick the song next time."
"Maybe."
*****
Poliwhirl sighed happily as Snorunt opened the door to his dressing room. "Hey Snorunt!"
"Hey Poliwhirl!" Snorunt grinned. "Well? Did my plan work?"
Poliwhirl looked down at Torchic, leaning against his shoulder, snoring softly. "Yeah, I think it worked."
"I'm glad," Snorunt grinned again. He paused. "You do know that you owe me for that."
"Of course, whatever you want."
"Get me a girlfriend."
Poliwhirl gulped. "Sure, I'll try. Who do you got your eye on?"
"I don't know. Just get me somebody!"
"Why don't I just give you cash instead?"
"Cash don't buy love, kid."
Poliwhirl groaned. "Oh sure, now you decide to get some morals."
Snorunt beamed. "Love stinks, don't it?"
"Not when you've got it, Snorunt," Poliwhirl smiled contentedly as he began to doze off. "Not when you've got it."
BEHIND-THE-SCENES: Corphish's Words of Wisdom
What the Womens Want
Women want to feel
you feel what they feel,
even if you don't feel
like feeling what they feel.
Delibird Extras
Skuntank
Dusknoir
Poliwhirl
Piplup
Snorunt
Corphish
Croagunk
Torchic
Torchic Extras
Gardevoir (Mentioned)
Lopunny (Mentioned)
Chimchar
Grovyle
Lucario
Munchlax
Bidoof
Primeape
Diglett
Abomasnow
Machamp
Plusle
Minun
Slowbro
Snorunt Extras
Armaldo
Spinda
Zubat
Koffing
88
Magikarp (Prop)
Wigglytuff
Dugtrio
Chatot
Farfetch'd
Electivire
Garchomp
Charizard
Meganium
Rampardos
Bastiodon
Drowzee
Pikachu
Combusken
Sunflora
Loudred
Mew
Skuntank
Dusknoir
Poliwhirl
Piplup
Snorunt
Corphish
Croagunk
Torchic
Torchic Extras
Gardevoir (Mentioned)
Lopunny (Mentioned)
Chimchar
Grovyle
Lucario
Munchlax
Bidoof
Primeape
Diglett
Abomasnow
Machamp
Plusle
Minun
Slowbro
Snorunt Extras
Armaldo
Spinda
Zubat
Koffing
88
Magikarp (Prop)
Wigglytuff
Dugtrio
Chatot
Farfetch'd
Electivire
Garchomp
Charizard
Meganium
Rampardos
Bastiodon
Drowzee
Pikachu
Combusken
Sunflora
Loudred
Mew
Sorry that I left out the Q&A sequence, I ran out of time.
Last edited:
mattman324
aka Shiny_Feraligatr
THE MUPPET'S VERSION OF BOHEMIAN RHAPSPHODY?
Clearly, I underestimated you. I must get back to somewhereville and reserch this. *Dissapears in a puff of fire and brimstone, then comes back*
Ok, you can come out now.
*;310; looking like Heatran* Heeheehee.
I can split your molocules apart with my bare typing.
;310;: ...
Clearly, I underestimated you. I must get back to somewhereville and reserch this. *Dissapears in a puff of fire and brimstone, then comes back*
Ok, you can come out now.
*;310; looking like Heatran* Heeheehee.
I can split your molocules apart with my bare typing.
;310;: ...