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The Powers of Land, Sea, and Sky

Discussion in 'Completed Fics' started by chosen_one386, Jan 7, 2007.

  1. chosen_one386

    chosen_one386 Angel of Chaos

    Well, here it is, the third installment in the Chosen One saga. I didn’t base this on pretty much anything, so, here is the prologue! Enjoy! ^_^!


    A legend wrote long ago
    Buried deep as the winter snow
    The powers of the land and sea
    Fought a war the reason being
    Started by the Shadow
    Ended by the One
    Once again, this Great War has begun

    The power of the Chosen One inside the Crystal Orb
    The powers of the land and sea are hereby forewarned
    In the Great War, the end of the human race
    A great challenge the Aquapolians must face
    In the Great War, the Shadow will reign
    The blinding sun through the pouring rain

    The journey’s just begun
    The challenges you must face
    Prepare O Chosen One
    For you must save the human race

    Greevil sneered. He had read this legend over and over again. He hoped it could foretell his destruction of the human race.

    Meanwhile, a girl, about 15 or 16, was making her way up Citadark Isle’s volcano with a determined look on her face. She had black hair pulled up into a ponytail and she wore a short white dress with a purple rose attached to it.

    Suddenly, a boy with black hair and piercing black eyes stepped in her path. “What are you doing here?” He asked her.

    “I just want to see my brother,” she said.

    The boy smirked. “Who is your brother?”

    “Your name is Kirio, am I right?”


    “Well, take me to the leader of the Cipher.”

    Kirio had no idea what this girl wanted, but he hadn’t seen her around the Chosen One before, so he knew she couldn’t be on a mission for the Legendary Team. He led her up to the main base.

    Greevil turned around as Kirio entered the stadium on top of the island. “What is it?’

    Kirio stepped out of the way to reveal the girl behind him. Greevil’s eyes got big as he realized who she was and he ordered Kirio to leave.

    “What are you doing here?” He asked with suppressed rage.

    “I came to talk to you, brother,” she said, calmly.

    “I am not your brother!” He spat. “Not after what you did 3,000 years ago!”

    “Greevil, listen, if you don’t stop this war, you will destroy yourself!”

    Greevil stood, silent with rage.

    “Won’t you listen to me?”

    “No…” He turned away from her.

    “Fine, I know another who will help me. Good-bye, brother,” she said.

    “I am not your…” But, he was too late, she was already gone.

    A few hours later, the girl trekked through the forest toward Ever Grande. “Fine, brother…” She mused.

    “I’ll just go to the Chosen One…”
  2. Simon Togetic

    Simon Togetic Rainbow Trainer

    Yes I'll agree it was very short, but it's quite evident tha you didn't need or wish to reveal any more at this point.

    But to point out a plot hole. Why does Greevil want to destroy the human race... if he is human?
  3. Nightmare the Scyther

    Nightmare the Scyther Altaria x Aerodactyl

    Hm...If I'm correct (which I'm probably not, but meh...), a prologue should be at least one word page and a chapter should be at least three. But then again, I can't remember.

    I, for one, do remember the thing you said about Greevil. You just felt like using the same name and the same Pokemon on his team because...well, you felt like it. I understand. And I'd also like to say that most prologues are written like that on purpose; they're shrouded in mystery. Keep that in mind. But that doesn't mean too many details should be missing because then the story gets cluttered later on. Not that I'm saying this was way too simple...it was a bit simple, but as I said, it's supposed to be shrouded in mystery. Just keep that in mind for a future reference.

    Otherwise, as do most prologues, this encouraged questions to pop up in my head. Such as: Will Greevil's sister really help the Legendary Team? What happened 3,000 years ago? If she will help them out, how so and if she's a trainer, what kinds of Pokemon does she have? All kinds of questions. Now, I've said all I need to for now so I'll be on my way.
  4. chosen_one386

    chosen_one386 Angel of Chaos

    Simon: You will find out later why Greevil wants to destroy the human race!

    CST: You have to actually read the comments she's made in my fics since last summer to understand why I won't take her advice...

    Nightmare: This was one word page and my chapters are usually 10 pages... I meant for this to be short!
  5. CrystalSaurTower

    CrystalSaurTower Well-Known Member

    Your just too blinded by the fact yu think your getting flamed. Look closely:

    Oh look, that shows you, you need to improve on charactr devolpment.

    Gee, now I need to work on description. And not ue first person as a neglection for that. Hm..

    Yup, I still need work on human. It seemed I did a little better on Aaron, but this should definely be bumped a little bit more than it is.

    Wow, it comes off to her as written up on the reply box. I really worked ont his though.. Well then I'll make it better than before, and blow her away!

    You just need to know that all the things shes telling you are wrong are the basic outlines of what you must improve on. You must've misenterpreted it as flaming, but trust me, Yami would not want to randomly flame someone about a fanfic. There are much more devilish ways.


    Not entirely. But I'm not reviewing you on that, I'm reviewing you on this. I don't care about the plot right now. It's description.

    What does he look like? I know not of the appearence of any other Greevil.

    You should spell the numbers out as fifteen or sixteen instead of using digits. And my I ask what Citadark's Isle volcano looks like. Yeah, I played and I know what it looks like, but that's no reason why you should neglect a very large and tangible object. A whole paragraph could be formed of that city alone.

    This isn't good enough a description. What skin color is she? Is her hair smooth, ruffed up, short? And a short white dress isn't that good a description either. Use more descriptive words like pearl, and actually tell the length of short. I could think short comes up to her hips. Is it above her knees? Below the hip? And the rose, attached where? On the dress I think, but where on the dress? On the front? Mybe on her back! Or is it the hem.. I don't know, because the description is not good enough. I have a very poor image of her in my mind, and much worse then what you could've done.

    Ok, hair and eyes do not cut it. Where is the rest of his body? Is he a floatin pair of eyeballs with hair? There is virtually no image I could make out of black hair and eyes. Might as well be a two-year old for all I know.

    Your laying out these things like a list. Like a script, and a brief explanation fo what the characters did in between. You need to show, not tell. Wheres the emotion in that? You could'v had Greevil think it out for himself instead of you just plain out stating. And you must show what they did walking over. I severely doubt Greevil just started walking over to the main base without a single word. He could've said "Come here.." And showed his suprise or unsettling nature to her appearence. And yet again, no idea what the main base looks like. Show me.

    And theres all these said, said, saids, asked, asked, asked, with no words like barked, or something more complexly diversified. Use a thesarus, it'll really help.

    And yeah, description was very lacking. I found alot of moments where you could've expanded the story to display more emotion, show more scenery, and make this all the more better.

    If you don't take Yami's advice, just please take mine instead then. It will really help you.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 15, 2007
  6. chosen_one386

    chosen_one386 Angel of Chaos

    Thank you CST for not acting like Yami did when she reviewded... I will take your advice, but you REALLY need to read the other two fics. They will explain partly why I didn't go into much description in this prologue.
  7. chosen_one386

    chosen_one386 Angel of Chaos

    Okay, here’s the thing… This time, the chapters will have names and will be slightly shorter than in Legends of the Past. As for the pre-chapter news, just some anime news about dub titles (puns, they HURT!!!!) and character bios of characters we won’t see in the U.S. till September…. Anyway, here’s the first chapter! ^_^! Oh, and I wasn’t sure how to spell the first line, so please correct me if I’m wrong…

    “From the Battlefield to the Schoolhouse”

    “Wakey Wakey, Grumpigs and bakey!” I felt someone nudging me in the side. I opened one eye and read the clock on my desk. 6:30. I rolled over and almost flattened Pikachu.

    “Kris, wake up! We’re going to be late!” She yelled.

    “Pikachu…school doesn’t start until 8:05...” I mumbled.

    “So, we have to get some training in!”

    “Okay…” I groaned, rolling out of bed. I stumbled to my closet, pulled on my white tank top and jacket and my gray shorts. I reached under my bed to pull out my red tennis shoes and I headed out the door, yawning. I nearly ran smack dab into Maxie when I entered the Pokemon Center.

    “You’re up early,” he said.

    “Yeah, I need to go train some…” I said groggily.

    “Just don’t be late for school.”

    “I won’t,” I said, rolling my eyes and leaving the Center. Maxie, who used to be the leader of Team Magma, was my mentor and adoptive father. He had recently started teaching at Sakurai Academy, the school I was going to that year, since the last Aquapolian history teacher quit and the headmaster thought it would be great to fill the position with someone who could actually speak Aquapolian.

    As I walked onto the beach, I breathed in the morning air, psyched for training. I released my Manetric, whom I had caught during the 2nd Shadow Conspiracy. She was my current Pokemon-in-training.

    “Manetric, why don’t we have you attack Pikachu today?” I asked her.

    “Sure,” she said, bounding over to face Pikachu.

    “Okay, let’s start with a Rain Dance!” I said. Manetric started to glow and rain clouds formed overhead. Suddenly, rain started to pour down. “Now, Thunder!” I ordered. A blast of electric energy slammed into Pikachu.

    Pikachu was unfazed. She took electric attacks in stride. “Now, Bite!” I ordered. Manetric charged toward Pikachu and bit her on the ear. Unfortunately, she was tired of being a punch bag and smacked Manetric in the face with an Iron Tail.

    “Pikachu, I told you to not attack!” I groaned.

    “Well, I got bored,” she said.

    “Whatever,” Manetric said, rolling her eyes. It was a really bold move and if she hadn’t been and electric-type, she would have had her head snapped off.

    I checked my watch. 7:00. Time to get ready for school. I recalled Manetric and hurried to my room to get dressed. I opened my closet and found my uniform, a short black dress with black boots. Slipping it on, I grabbed my bag and headed to the Pokemon Center for some breakfast.

    After I had grabbed my plate, I sat down at a table where Maxie was studying the Book of the Chosen One, of course.

    “Remind me again why I have to got to school?” I asked.

    “Because Southern Japanese law dictates that, to keep your trainers license, you have to have at least a semester of high school.”

    I sighed. “Whatever…”

    I finished my breakfast quickly as Ash walked in. The boys’ uniform consisted of a short black cloak over a nice black shirt and pants. “Ready to go?” He asked me.

    “Yeah! See you at school, Maxie!” I said, following Ash out the door.

    Ash and I have been friends for forever, at one time we thought about being more than friends. Unfortunately, we both struggled about the fact of Aaron, the Aquapolian prince I had almost married 3,000 years earlier.

    As we walked up to the school building, I spotted a girl with brown hair and brown eyes with a Scyther standing right beside her. It was weird seeing her without sunglasses, since she usually had a pair on.

    “Hey, Rachel!” I said, greeting her.

    “Hi! Have you seen Mikey?” She asked. Mikey was a boy we met at the Grand Conference a half a year earlier. He was a senior, but Rachel had a crush on him.

    “No, but Rachel, do you really think…”

    “Sorry, I have to go! See you in homeroom!” She said, skipping off.

    I sighed. We were freshmen and I didn’t really think it was smart for Rachel to even think about dating a senior. I shrugged. I was her choice.

    As we walked in and by the front desk, I spotted a girl about our age talking to the secretary. The girl had black hair tied up in a ponytail and blue eyes. She already had on her uniform and an Umbreon stood next to her.

    “Who’s that?” I asked Ash.

    He shrugged. “She must be new. Come on, let’s get to homeroom!”

    When we walked into homeroom, I heard a girl talking loudly to another group of girls, obviously meaning for everyone to be able to hear her. She had long blonde hair and pitch black eyes.

    “Well, I’m going after my fifth Ribbon Cup next spring. I just haven’t decided which region’s Grand Festival I want to enter!” She said.

    “I’m sure you’ll do well,” A girl with brown hair pulled into two ponytails said. Her blue eyes didn’t reflect that her comment was supposed to be polite.

    “Oh, come on, May, don’t act all high and mighty just because you already have five Ribbon Cups!” The girl smirked.

    “Marina, stop being so rude!” I said.

    “Whatever, CHOSEN ONE.” She said my title like it was something to be shameful of.

    I sat down in my seat near the front as the tardy bell rang. Once again, our teacher was late.

    Suddenly, Maxie burst through the door. “Sorry I’m late…again.”

    “Okay, but you have to go get a tardy slip from the office!” Ash joked. The class started to laugh. Maxie rolled his eyes.

    Since we had 1st period Aquapolian history with him, we stayed in the room when the bell rang. He started to write some notes on the board when someone knocked on the door.

    We all turned to see the girl I had seen before at the front desk. She walked in and said quietly, “Is this 9B?”

    Maxie nodded. “And you are…”

    “I’m Shia. I’m new.”

    Maxie walked over to the bookshelf and pulled off a textbook and handed it to her. As she walked past me to the back of the room, I had the familiar sense I had seen her before.

    At break later that day, May started to plan. “Okay, your 15th birthday is in three days! What should we do?”

    “Let’s just have a small party this year…” I said, glancing over to where Shia was sitting with her Umbreon, alone. “Wait just a second!” I walked over to her and sat down beside her.

    “Hey! I’m Kris!” I said.

    “I’m Shia.”

    “What type are you?”

    “I’m a dark-type.”

    “Awesome! I have a friend who’s a dark-type as well!” I said, “So, do you live here in Ever Grande?”

    “Yes, at the Pokemon Center.”

    “The Pokemon Center?”

    “It’s the only place I have to stay.”

    I thought about this for a second. I needed to know more about Shia and she needed a home. Plus, the Hall of Fame had a bunch of spare room…

    “Why don’t you come and stay at the Hall of Fame?”


    I nodded. “We have plenty of room!”


    “Meet me at the front of the school after school!”

    She seemed excited. “Oh, yes!”

    That afternoon, I saw her standing there, with her Umbreon. I walked over and said, “Follow me.”

    We walked to the Hall of Fame and she marveled at the size of it. We entered the Pokemon Center and I ran up to Nurse Joy.

    “Do you have the keys to any spare rooms?” I asked.

    “Sure do!” She rummaged around in the desk and held out a key to me. “It’s on the third floor, room 5.”

    “Thanks!” Shia and I made our way to the 3rd floor and I handed her the key.

    “Thank you so much!” She said.

    “You’re welcome. Just call me if you need me,” I said.

    “I will!”

    Shia unlocked the door and we stepped inside. The rooms in the Hall of Fame were huge, like suites at a five star hotel. The Elite 4 lived here, but there were also enough rooms so the gym leaders could stay during the semiannual gym leader conferences. The rooms had a queen sized bed and a pretty big TV on the wall across the room in a sort of den section. There were two sofas in that area and a walk-in closet behind the bed.

    “Wow…” Shia was taken aback at the size of the room. I was at first when I first started to stay there, but I was used to it by then.

    “Before you get settled, I need to go change. I can show you around on the way. I’m on the 5th floor.” Suddenly, I noticed she only carried her backpack. “Or would you rather go back to the Center to get your stuff?”

    “That’s okay. All I have is in this bag.”

    No wonder she had been amazed by the size of the rooms. I wondered if she had any parents or if she had just been traveling up until then. Or if she just didn’t have a home at all. I didn’t ask right away, thought. I decided to ask her later.

    She put her backpack down on one of the couches and followed me back down the hall. We entered the elevator and Pikachu reached over to push the button.

    As the doors closed, Shia said, “Thank you so much, Kris.”

    I couldn’t take it any longer. I had to know why she was here. “So, did you just recently come to Ever Grande?” I asked.

    “Yes, I’ve been traveling around for a while now. I have no family, just my Umbreon.”

    I mused over this. “Are you a trainer?” I asked.

    “No, I’m just…searching for someone…”

    That seemed familiar. A half a year ago, one of the legendary Pokemon, Lucario, was searching for me. I wondered who Shia was searching for. Before I could ask, we arrived at the 5th floor.

    When we walked into my room, I flung my bag onto the sofa and stepped inside my closet to change.

    “You have some impressive trophies outside,” Shia said.

    “Thanks! My Pokemon and I worked REALLY hard to get those. It was mostly my Pokemon, of course,” I said as I slipped on my dark blue jeans and black tank top. I walked out of my closet and said, “ I have a meeting with the Legendary Team in a few minutes. Do you want to come?”

    “Sure, I’d love to!”

    “Good, oh, and my birthday is coming up soon, do you want to come by? We’re having a party!”

    She nodded. “I could cook if you like!”

    “Great! Let’s go!” Now, I was REALLY looking forward to my birthday, which was on Friday. Only three more days!

    We reached the Legendary Team headquarters a few minutes later. Max, our resident technological genius, had set up an advanced computer system in there and a bit circular table as well.

    When we walked in, only Max was there, looking at the large monitor on the computer. He was about ten, with very messy dark blue hair and brown eyes. He wore glasses, which were in a weird ovalish shape. He also wore a green short sleeved shirt with a white collar, brown shorts, and green and black sneakers.

    “Hey Max! This is Shia, from school!” I said. Even though he belonged in the 4th grade, Max had been allowed to skip five full grades and was actually in 9th grade with the rest of us. An honor, indeed. “Shia, this is Max. He handles all of the technological aspects of the team.”

    “Hey!” Max said. “Wow, your Umbreon looks well trained!”

    “Thank you,” Shia said.

    Suddenly, Ash burst in. “Oh, hey Shia!” He exclaimed. “I thought I was late!” Ash may have been an electric-type, but he was always late getting places. He turned to Max. “What’s new?”

    “Just the same old world destruction,” Max said, gesturing to the monitor. It showed all of the natural disasters around the world that were happening. There were many, and they were getting worse as the Great War reached the one year mark.

    Then, a girl with messy orange hair pulled up into a short ponytail walked in. She had bright green eyes and wore a yellow short sleeved shirt with a blue tank top underneath it. She also wore short yellow shorts and sneakers.

    “Hey Misty!” I said. Misty was a powerful water-type and the Cerulean gym leader. She was also our water transportation expert for those of us who couldn’t fly or have flying Pokemon.

    “Hey!” She replied, walking to one of the large windows on the other side of the room. “The ocean looks beautiful today!”

    Then, a tall boy with spiky hair entered the room. He wore a short sleeved brown shirt with pockets on it and long brown pants. His eyes…well, we weren’t really sure if he had eyes, really. Where his eyes were supposed to be were two black slits. Suddenly., he spotted Shia.

    “The ocean isn’t the only thin that looks beautiful today!” Before he could walk over to her, Misty pulled him by his ear and dragged him away.
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2007
  8. Simon Togetic

    Simon Togetic Rainbow Trainer

    Wow! I see you've put in some good effort to improve your description. It's certainly not perfect, but you've certainly made the effort. The description of the luxurious room should have been expended though: there was A LOT to write about there (especially colours!). Ditto for the natural disasters... you had a chance to put in lots of destruction there and you missed it! Even if it was just a brief summary of the worst ones, you should have at least put something.

    As for plot, at first I thought that school simply does not fit into the rest of the plot (ie. plenty of action advanture etc.), but now that I've read ot the end I can see it might actually work. Be careful so as to not make this a generic 'Pokemon goes to school' story, but I doubt that will happen. Also the apparent rivalry between Marina and Kris seems interesting, I hope you revisit that.

    Last but not least, I liked the joke about hiring an Aquapolian history teacher that could actually speak the language, it's always nice to have a bit of humour. (And no, Misty pulling Brock by the ear does not count, because it's old)
  9. Zephyr Flare

    Zephyr Flare /pose

    Personally I think the majority in here should stop spamming. Don't like a review? Ignore it and quit whining with a woe to me that was mean. You nearly started a flame war in here if you didn't realise. Can always use the ignore function if a user bothers you.

    Deleted all of said posts, there was no need for any of it for snipey remarks from both sides. Last time I checked, fanfictions are submitted for readship and review, not slagging each other off and trying to make yourselves feel good about spamming.

  10. Nightmare the Scyther

    Nightmare the Scyther Altaria x Aerodactyl

    You certainly are improving quite a bit, you know! this chapter had me hooked! Well, the smell of lunch made me rip myself away from the computer, but still...it was great! But somewhere at the beginning, I recall seeing something like "usually always"...maybe take out that always and you're good to go. You're doing much better than before! Keep up the good work!
  11. chosen_one386

    chosen_one386 Angel of Chaos

    Simon: Yeah, the room and disasters really COULD have used more description... Oh, and the joke about the Aqupolian teacher who can actually speak Aqupolian... Well, I didn't really mean it as a joke, but I guess it IS really funny! Oh, and the Misty pulling Brock by the ear IS old. I'd much rather see the girls he hits on on the anime slap him! XD!

    Nightmare: I took out the always. Thanks for catching that!

    Oh, and I deeply apologize for my spamming and such... Feel free to virtually slap me if I act like a... female dog again... No, seriously (can't spell!!) you can.

    I'm starting chapter 2 soon... If school will allow.
  12. chosen_one386

    chosen_one386 Angel of Chaos

    Hey guys! Sorry I haven’t updated in a while. School’s been killer! Anyway, as for today’s news, even more English names for Pokes have been revealed. I like Korinku’s (Shinx) ? Something like that… Anyway, here’s Chapter 2!!!

    Chapter 2: The Legendary Team

    The next person to walk in was May, who immediately spotted Max, who was staring at the computer monitor. She sighed. “Max, what is so interesting on there?!”

    He turned to her. “Well, the natural disasters are getting worse…” He pointed to a symbol on the world map. It consisted of three red rings, each one smaller and inside the other like a bulls eye. By looking at the legend on the side of the screen, May discovered it was an earthquake, which was right over England. A number right beside it depicted its magnitude, which was a 10.0.

    “That’s nothing unusual,” May said, shrugging her shoulders. “There have been a lot of 10.0 earthquakes during the Great War.”

    “Yeah, but I’ve never seen them all stringed together like this, In the past week alone, there have been 10.0 earthquakes in New Jersey, Georgia, California, Russia, and Paraguay… Something’s up…” Max mused.

    “Maybe because the War is nearing the one year mark,” May replied. “Oh, hey Tori!”

    A boy about fourteen-years-old walked in. He had bushy, light blue hair which seemed to stick up all over the place. His eyes were bright blue and piercing. He wore a bright blue sweatshirt, white pants, and blue sneakers.

    “Hey, May,” he replied as he walked over to a window, trailed by a Plusle and Minun. Tori was a psychic-type from the technological city of LaRousse in Hoenn.

    Then, a girl with shocking red hair trailing down her back entered. Her green eyes flickered with excitement, She wore a lacy white tank top and dark blue jeans with black boots. She looked about fourteen-years-old.

    “Kris! Guess what?!” She said, bouncing over to me. Before I could answer, she said, “I’ve decided to compete in the Jhoto Grand Festival!”

    “That’s great, Sarah.” Sarah was a grass-type from Orre Island in the Orange Archipelago. She was a powerful coordinator and had won three Ribbon Cups.

    “That’s a good idea… What is it?” May asked.

    “Next April.”

    “That’s an awful long time away, but I haven’t competed in the Jhoto region before…” May thought for a second. “I’ll do it!”

    “All right! Some good competition!” Sarah exclaimed.

    “What good competition?” A girl with dark blond hair streaming down her back entered the room. She had cheerful hazel eyes and wore a pink sweatshirt and light blue jeans. She had obviously been out training.

    “May and I are going to compete in the Jhoto Grand Festival next April!” Sarah said. “Isn’t that around your birthday, Taylor?”

    “Yeah, it is.” Taylor was a trainer from Ever Grande who had joined the Legendary Team at the start of the Great War. She was a spirited fighting-type. “Meanwhile, I’m training to participate in the Jhoto Silver Conference. Why don’t we travel together, Sarah?”

    “Sure, that would be awesome!”

    A boy with spiky red hair sticking up all over the place entered next. He wore a yellow t-shirt, dark blue jeans, and a blue headband which only kept a portion of his hair out if his face.

    “Hey, Taylor!” He smiled at her.

    “Oh, hey Michael.” Michael was from Orre Island and had helped us during the second Shadow Conspiracy. He was also a normal-type and was always flirting with Taylor.

    Then, Rachel walked in with a dreamy look on her face. Of course, I knew it had to be because of Mikey.

    “Hey, Rachel! Have you been training your powers lately?” I asked. Rachel was an avid trainer of not only her Pokemon, but herself. She was a powerful dark-type.

    “Oh, yeah… sure.” This was bad. If she wasn’t training, she must be seriously lovesick!

    Everyone was there except for Maxie. As we stood around and talked, I looked over at Shia. She seemed a little shy, but happy at the same time. Finally, Maxie arrived and we started the meeting. After everyone was seated, I stood up and took roll call since there was a fair amount if us in the team. After introducing Shia to everyone, I started the meeting.

    “Okay, guys. Friday is the one year mark of the Great War. This means the natural disasters are going to get a lot worse. We need to keep a look out for anything the Shadow might plan. I trust you guys have been training your Pokemon and yourself?” Everyone nodded. “Ok. Maxie and Max are going to the U.N. tomorrow to tell them about these disasters. The rest of you need to focus on training and school. I don’t want ANYONE failing this semester, or you WILL pay. Understood?” More nodding. “Okay, you can go now.”

    As they got out of their chairs and started to talk, I walked over to Maxie and Max.

    “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you guys?” I asked.

    Maxie nodded. “You have school…”

    “It’s only for a day!” I exclaimed. “What about Max?”

    “I’m technically not old enough for high school, so technically, I don’t need this semester for another couple of years,” Max said.

    “So, did you find a substitute?” I asked.

    “Yeah, I did.”

    “I hope it’s not Drake again…”


    “Oh, God, it’s Drake?!”

    “I’m not sure…”

    I rolled my eyes and turned to Shia. “If you want to, you can train with us.”

    “That would be great, thanks!”

    I nodded and looked out the window. It was a bright sunny day. Perfect for training.

    “Good! Let’s start today!” I said.

    A few minutes later, we were out on the warm sand on our training beach. I breathed in the fresh sea air and released my Golbat. I had been trying to evolve in into a Crobat, but it just wasn’t working. Shia released her Umbreon, who started grooming herself when she appeared.

    “Okay, let’s have a battle!” I said. “I want to see what you’ve got!”

    “O…okay…” We faced each other and I started it of.

    “Golbat, Air Cutter!” I ordered. Slicing waves of air flew toward Umbreon, who countered with a Secret Power. The attack ripped through the Air Cutter and flew toward Golbat. I ordered him to spin around in mid-air while using Wing Attack. The attack stopped the Secret Power in its tracks. Then, Golbat went in for the win with a Poison Fang. Right before he hit Umbreon, she disappeared. He stopped, looking around for her, and was thrust to the ground by a Faint Attack.

    “Wow! You’re pretty good!” I exclaimed, recalling Golbat.

    “Really?” Shia asked, shyly.

    “Yeah! Oh my God, look at the time! I have to get my homework done!” I panicked “Want to come? We can do it together!”

    “Okay, that sounds good.” She nodded.

    The next day, I walked into homeroom and everyone got silent. I felt every eye was on me and I wished that Maxie was there. That day was exactly two years after my parents’ deaths. Maxie was there that day and so was Ash. I had tried not to think of it, but now, I couldn’t stand it. I turned right around, and ran blindly back down the hall. I ignored Ash as he yelled my name and I burst through the doors of the school.

    Suddenly, I ran straight into someone. I looked up. It was Maxie.

    “W…What are you doing here?” I asked.

    “Our plane doesn’t leave for another hour. What’s wrong?”

    I looked down at the ground and sobbed. “T…Today is…”

    “Kris!” I turned to see Ash running toward us. “Are you okay?”

    “Y…Yeah, I’m fine.” Silence. Then, Maxie put his hand on my shoulder and said, “I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

    I nodded as he walked away. I turned to see Ash.

    “Come on. Let’s get back to class.” He put his arm on my shoulder and led me back to homeroom. When we stepped in, I groaned. Maxie HAD gotten Drake as a substitute…

    “Hey Kris and Ash! Why don’t you two take a seat.” He turned to the board as we sat down. “Okay, you guys are studying… the pre- Great War period, right?” We all nodded. “Okay… um… in 1500 B.C….” He looked down at the textbook. “An Elite 4 dragon master decided he couldn’t teach Aquapolian History. Just don’t burn the school down…” He said, sitting at the desk. Pulling his sailor’s hat over his eyes, he went to sleep.

    I rolled my eyes and turned to May, who was sitting to the left of me.

    “Are you okay?” She asked with a worried look on her face. Other than Ash and Maxie, she was the only other Aquapolian who could tell when I was really worried.

    “I…I’m okay…” I sniffed. “I just can’t believe they’ve been gone for two years…”

    “Kris, you and I both know Norman and Caroline want you to be happy. I mean… your birthday us coming up in two days. Why don’t we focus on planning your party for a bit?”

    “That sounds… good.” I nodded.

    “Okay, so we’re having two: One for the Elite 4 and Frontier Brains, and…”

    We sit up front, thank God, because what Drake said next was, “I’ll bring the rum…”

    May and I stared at him. After a while, May said, “Drake, Kris is turning 15, not 21.”

    “Oh, I meant to say… Coke, yeah, that’s right, I’ll bring Coke…” Then, he went back to sleep.

    May shook her head and said, “We’re also having a party for the Legendary Team.”

    “Where and when are we having the first one?” I asked.

    “Tomorrow in the ballroom. It’s just going to be everyday dress.” I glared at her. “What?”


    “Yeah, Brock, Shia, and Nurse Joy have already started the cooking and Max and Michael are doing the decorations.” May said. “Our party will be on the beach on Friday night. It will be so romantic…” She looked at me as if to say, “For you and Ash, of course.”

    I glared at her again as the bell rang for 2nd period and for Spanish.

    A few hours later, Maxie and Max had arrived in New York and were walking toward the U.N. building when Max said, “How much do you think they’ll panic?”

    Maxie thought for a bit. “A fair amount, probably.”

    Max laughed. “Yeah, right!”

    They finally reached the U.N. building and walked through security. After walking down a couple of halls, they reached one of the conference rooms. Inside sat a group of military generals. One stood up and shook hands with Maxie. “I’m General Smith…” He glanced at Max. “And this is…”

    “I’m Max, technological specialist of the Legendary Team.”

    General Smith was a bit unnerved. Max smiled. He was probably smarter than half of the generals there. He walked to the where a large computer screen was set up. After plugging in a few keys, a world map appeared. After everyone was seated, Max began on his presentation.

    “Okay, this is a map of the world today.” Max pushed a button and icons appeared on the screen. Some represented earthquakes, some represented hurricanes. They were all natural disasters and there were a lot of them. “As you can see, the natural disasters and death rate are rising steadily. By this time next year, they’ll get far worse…”

    “How about this one?” I asked, pulling a pink tank top and jeans out of my closet.

    May shook her head. “I think you need to wear a shirt…”

    May and I were planning what I was going to wear for my party the next day. Our get together one Friday would be easy; we were all going to the beach. Unfortunately, we were having trouble with the other party’s attire.

    “Ooh… This is pretty!” May pulled out a short sleeved off the shoulder shirt and a white mini skirt. “You could wear this with your black boots!”

    I nodded. “I like it. Let’s put it over here,” I said, placing the clothes across a chair.

    “Okay, we’ve got the clothes, Shia and Brock are cooking, and Michael has the decorations up. This is going to be a great party!” May declared.

    “Okay… well, I have physical science homework, so, I’ll see you later, okay?”

    May groaned. “God, I have so much Algebra II homework… Well, bye!” She skipped out the door.

    I sat at my desk, trying to focus on radioactive decay as Pikachu took a nap. I was too focused on the party, though. I hoped it would distract me from some depressing subjects I was thinking about at the time.

    The next day, I sat in the music room, jittery with excitement. I could barely focus on playing the piano and finally gave up. The Russian composer who wrote the piece I was playing would understand. After all, he was dead.

    After the final bell rand, I rushed home to get ready and ran into Ash.

    “Hey, Kris! Max and Maxie are back!” He said.

    “How did the meeting go?”

    Ash shrugged. “I think Max scared them out of their wits.”

    I rolled my eyes and raced on. As soon as I got into the Hall of Fame, I burst into my room. I pulled on my shirt, skirt, and boots, fixed my lip gloss, and did my hair. I hurried to the ballroom to help out. After getting the tables set up, I ran around with May, looking for chairs. Soon, the party began.

    EVERY Elite 4 member and Frontier Brain was there. I walked around, joking with Anabel, the Brain of the Battle Tower, and talking to Phoebe, a ghost-type Elite 4 member from Hoenn. All of the Legendary Team was there as well. The only one who was missing was Shia. I wandered where she went.

    Shia walked down the beach, kicking up the sand and watching Umbreon play in the waves.

    “I really need to tell Kristal who I am, shouldn’t I?” Shia asked, sighing.

    Umbreon shook the water out of her fur. “You should do it soon too.”

    Shia made up her mind. “I’ll tell her tonight.”

    “Tell who tonight?”

    Shia gasped and spun around. Maxie and Mightyena stood behind her.

    “What are you doing out here?” Shia asked.

    “Looking for you,” Mightyena said.

    “Kris is looking for you too,” Maxie added.

    Shia nodded, then snapped around to look in the distance toward the forest. Her eyes narrowed.

    “What is it?” Maxie asked as a dark figure burst through the woods and ran toward the Cave of Origin.

    “It’s Greevil!” Shia exclaimed, running toward the figure with Umbreon on her heels. Maxie wondered for a moment how Shia knew Greevil before he took off after her.

    After running for a while, they reached the Cave of Origin. Maxie led the way into the temple. Unfortunately, he got separated from Shia instantly. He decided to head on to the Crystal Chamber.

    Everything was calm and quiet as he entered the chamber. The three orbs still sat there, glowing against the ruins in the walls. Maxie walked forward toward the Crystal Orb, but tripped over Mightyena, knocked over the Orb, and went straight through the wall on the other side.

    Landing with a thud, he groaned. He stood up, picked up the Crystal Orb, and winced with pain. He looked up at the walls and started to read the writing. This was a whole new section of the Cave of Origin.

    After a while, he turned to the main wall and gasped as he read the inscription there.

    Shia, meanwhile, had reached the Crystal Chamber. She surveyed her surroundings, looking for Greevil.

    “What are you doing here?” Shia spun around to face her brother. He sneered at her and walked over to where the Red and Blue Orbs sat. “Where is the Crystal Orb?!” He demanded.

    “I don’t know,” Shia said defiantly. She thought at least if Greevil didn’t have it, it was safe.

    Greevil grabbed both Orbs and turned to Shia. “Tell me where it is, now!”
    “I don’t think so!” Greevil turned to see Mightyena flying through the air toward him, claws extended. He dodged the attack and delivered a Shadow Blast that knocked him into the floor.

    He ran over and grabbed Shia’s arm. “Well, if the Chosen One has it, I’ll you use for ransom.” He pulled her down the corridor as Mightyena struggled to stand up.

    Suddenly, Maxie speared again, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe what he had just read. He spied Mightyena and ran to his injured Pokemon.

    “Are you okay?” He asked, worried.

    “Yeah, but Greevil’s got Shia and he said if we don’t bring the Crystal Orb to him…” Mightyena was too tired to continue.

    Maxie recalled the dark-type and ran out of the Chamber, completely forgetting that he still had the Orb in his hands.

    Meanwhile, I was getting a little worried. Maxie and Shia had both been missing for too long. I exited the ballroom and walked out onto the beach, trying to think where they could be. Suddenly, Maxie burst out of the woods with the Crystal Orb in his hand.

    “Kristal!” He panted as he ran up to me.

    “Where have you been? Where’s Shia?” I asked.

    “I’ve been in the Cave of Origin. Shia’s been taken by Greevil.”

    “What? What’s going on?” I demanded, confused.

    “Greevil came and took the Red and Blue Orbs. He’s demanding we bring the Crystal Orb to him as a ransom for her.”

    I groaned. How could this have happened? “Let’s go get the others.” I rushed to the ballroom and found Max, who contacted all of the Legendary Team members. Soon, we were all gathered around in the Pokemon Center.

    “Okay, guys, we’re making an emergency mission to… Max, where’s Greevil?” I asked.

    Max checked his laptop. “He’s heading north, toward the northern border of Hoenn.”

    “Okay, we HAVE to get out there! He’s got Shia! I want every one of you out there! Let’s go!”

    A few seconds later, I was flying across the Hoenn Sea right beside Ash. I turned back to where Max was, sitting on Maxie’s Salamence.

    “Max! Where’s his position?!” I shouted over the rush of the wind.

    “He’s on a small island up ahead! It’s kind of fuzzy here, though…” He shouted back.

    “It must be connected to the Cave of Origin somehow! Are there any islands near it?”

    “Yeah! There’s a larger island right near it!”
    “Well, tell everyone to land there!”


    We landed on the island and I started to form a plan of action.

    “Okay, you guys need to survey the edges of the island. Ash, Maxie, Rachel, and I will go into the middle of the island and find Greevil and Shia. Let’s go!” I said, starting to levitate above the ground. I shot across to the island with Maxie, Ash, and Rachel right behind me.

    Suddenly, I heard a loud roar come from the island and Shadow Lugia appeared. I yelled to the others to split up and that I would take care of him. They flew in different directions as I faced Shadow Lugia.

    “Chosen One,” he growled. He rarely spoke, so his outburst was surprising. “ I will stop you here!”

    “Think again!” I yelled, diving toward the ocean. He followed close behind, powering up for a Shadow Blast. Right before we both hit the ocean, I sent a wall of water shooting into the sky. It slammed into Lugia, who was caught off balance.

    He shook it off and dove toward me. I tried to fire a Fire Blast, but he dodged it at the last second and slammed into me. I fell toward the ocean and caught myself before I hit the waves.

    Meanwhile, Ash, Maxie, and Rachel had reached the shore and were watching me fight Lugia. None of them made a move to help me. They knew I wanted to fight him myself. Suddenly, they heard the roar of a motorboat and a boy with brownish red hair wearing a short-sleeved yellow shirt and jeans sped toward them. He stopped his boat a few yards from the shore, not seeming to notice the fight going on in the air above him.

    “Hey! Are you guys crazy?!” He yelled at them.

    “Yes!” Ash yelled back truthfully as Rachel and Maxie rolled their eyes. “Why?!”

    “That island’s haunted! People say there’s a large white beast that lives in the very center! They say he’s super powerful!”

    “I think we’re okay!” Ash yelled. “We can take care of ourselves!”

    The guy shook his head. “Suit yourself!” And with that, he sped off.

    I decided at that time to hit Lugia with a combo, so I started to spin around in the air, energy surrounding me. The clouds about started to get darker and a few seconds later, rain started to pour down. Lugia didn’t hesitate, and barreled toward me again. He was stopped short by a blast of Thunder, that paralyzed him and caused him to fall out of the air and into the sea below. I took this chance to land on the island.

    “Some guy just came up and shouted at us and called us crazy,” Ash said.

    “That’s because we are,” I replied.

    “Yeah, and he said there were rumors going around about this super powerful giant white Pokemon. Maybe we should check it out?”
  13. Simon Togetic

    Simon Togetic Rainbow Trainer

    Really good! I'd say that the battle between Dark Lugia and Kris was rather rushed, but we all know it will be back, so what's to worry about? The only thing is Kris seems to have acess to just about every non-Shadow move in the game, which is a bit uber. Still, you've given us plenty to look forward to, which is good. :)
  14. Nightmare the Scyther

    Nightmare the Scyther Altaria x Aerodactyl

    Notice how this line isn't exactly finished? Then I noticed the next line was all enthusiastic ad everything. I don't think Kris actually told everyone about Shia, if I read correctly. Other than this, a few grammatical errors. And I know your fic is mainly based on overall story and not the battles or minor events and such, but you could try adding a bit of zest and description into them. It makes things a lot more exciting. Overall, you're improved a great deal as a writer - I'm glad you keep trying your best.
  15. chosen_one386

    chosen_one386 Angel of Chaos

    Simon: You're back!!! Anyway, yes, Lugia WILL BE BACK! *evil laugh* Oh, and Kris may know every non-Shadow move, but she can't use all of them to their fullest potential and some she can't use at all (she's still working on them).

    Nightmare: I think she did. *checks* No, she didn't, but I'm sure she probably told them on the way at one point.

    Oh, and I'm already finished with Chapter 3, so expect for me to post it soon.
  16. Nightmare the Scyther

    Nightmare the Scyther Altaria x Aerodactyl

    Oh, I have a question. How does Kris use moves like Iron Tail, Drill Peck or Horn Drill? I mean, they're physically impossible...or is it something like Mew? Or maybe Kris creates a psychic illusion of, say, a horn and uses that...hm...I'd like to know, though, because it makes me kinda curious.
  17. chosen_one386

    chosen_one386 Angel of Chaos

    She transforms into a Pokemon that can use physical attacks she can't use in her human form.
  18. chosen_one386

    chosen_one386 Angel of Chaos

    It’s time… For the pre-chapter news! Well, new episode pics for a D/P episode were released… And, *gasp* do we really have a G/S/C remake in the future?! I sure hope so… Anyway, here’s Chapter 3!

    Chapter 3

    The Super Powerful White Pokemon

    We started to head inland, toward the island’s center. I wondered about this strange Pokemon people were talking about. Was it a new legendary Pokemon? Naw, it couldn’t be…

    “Kris! Look up ahead!” Ash said, jolting me out of my thoughts. Up ahead was an old temple. A HUGE old temple which looked like the Cave of Origin. Aquapolian ruins covered the walls.

    “Greevil probably took her in there. We need to get going,” I said.

    “I wander what that Pokemon they’re talking about is,” Rachel said.

    “We can’t stop to think it through. Let’s go!” I said impatiently, running into the temple. It became pitch black the moment I stepped inside. I focused my energy and light filled the passageway. The inside of the temple looked just like the inside of the Cave of Origin. I ran on, not waiting for Ash, Maxie, and Rachel to catch up. I was overcome with a desire to find Shia.

    I wasn’t looking where I was going, though, because the next thing I knew, I had run into something. I landed on the ground as the something said “Oof!” and the lights went out. I turned the lights back on and looked up to see a man with brown hair staring and glaring down at me. He wore a green shirt and pants and brown boots.

    “Brandon!” I exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

    “I came to investigate the mystery of these ruins, of course. What are you doing here?”

    “One of my friends is here. The Shadow has her.”

    “I’m sure the Shadow has something to do with the mysterious Pokemon.”

    “Do you know anything about it?”

    “All I know is that it’s related to the Regis.”

    I shook my head. I had no idea what it could be. I turned to see if the others had caught up and spotted Ash and Maxie running toward us in the passageway.

    “Where’s Rachel?” I asked.

    “I sent her to help scout out the island with the others. It seems this island is bigger than we though,” Ash said. He then spotted Brandon. “What’s he doing here?”

    “I’m here exploring the ruins, kid,” Brandon said.

    “Well…duh…” Ash muttered.

    “Let’s go, guys. We should head toward the center of the temple.” I said.
    We walked on toward the middle. Suddenly, I heard a growl come from behind us. We all spun around to face Entei. He didn’t look too happy about us being there, though.

    I gasped. “It’s been Shadowficated!”

    “Again…” Ash added, referring back to the first Shadow Conspiracy when all three of the legendary beasts were Shadowficated.

    Entei lunged at us and slammed into one of my barriers. “Hurry!” I shouted and we ran down the passageway, only to run straight into Raikou. We turned down another passageway to the right, but Suicune blocked our escape. Entei broke free of the barrier and we were surrounded.

    “Come on, guys!” I pleaded. “What’s wrong?” Entei snapped at me and I decided that we wouldn’t be able to talk our way out of this one. There were six of us, including Ash and my Pikachu.

    “You two Pikachu! You take Suicune! Ash and Brandon take Entei! Maxie, help me with Raikou!” I shouted. The Pikachu sprang into action first. They both surrounded Suicune. One lunged at her with an Iron Tail while the other surrounded her with a Double Team.

    Ash attacked Entei with a Thunderpunch while Brandon sent a psychic blast toward the fire-type. He retaliated with a Fire Blast, which Ash barely dodged. Ash then spun around and fired a Thunderbolt, which Brandon amplified with another psychic blast. It hit Entei head on.

    I started off with an Earthquake aimed at Raikou, but he jumped out of the way. Maxie hit him while he was still in the air with a Flamethrower. He fell to the ground and rushed at me with an Iron Tail. We both dodged and I fired another Earthquake at him. He spun out of the way and the shock waves traveled up the wall. The temple started to shake and the passageway started to collapse. We scrambled out of the way as the ceiling and walls collapsed among themselves. Luckily, we had all gotten out of the way and the landslide had separated us from Entei, Raikou, and Suicune.

    “That was close!” Ash exclaimed, tripping over a rock and landing face first on the ground.

    “We should split up. The three beasts should be preoccupied now, so we’re safe… For a bit…” I said, looking down at Ash. Brandon and Maxie nodded and we all went separate ways.

    “What are you going to do with the orbs?” Shia asked. She was in the middle of the temple where a giant altar stood The Red and Blue Orbs sat on the altar under two pictures of Kyogre and Groudon.

    “There are several places in Southern Japan, other than the Cave of Origin, where the objects of the legendary Pokemon can unleash their full power. Unfortunately, I still don’t have the Crystal Orb…” Greevil sneered. He pace the floor, growing impatient. “The Chosen One has grown so strong that I won’t be able to take it by force… Maybe some mind tricks will weaken her.. There is a section of this cave that holds extreme amounts of legendary energy… Maybe it can help me.”

    “I thought you were going to use me as ransom…” Shia said.

    “You were useful in bringing her out here… but I have no further need of you…”

    Shia knew she wasn’t going to get out of it that easily. She cautiously took a step toward the exit. Greevil grabbed her arm and pulled her back, causing her to yelp in pain.

    “But, I still can’t let you get away with what you did 3,000 years ago,” he spat. “I’ll kill you here and now.”

    Shia wrenched herself out of his grasp and blew him off his feet with a blast of energy. Once he was able to stand up, he realized she was gone. He cursed and turned toward the Orbs.

    “No matter…” He mused. “I have an even bigger surprise in store…”

    “I spy…something grey…”

    “The wall…”

    “Man, you’re good!”

    “Pikachu, just give it a rest already.”

    When she got bored, Pikachu had the habit of playing travel games. We were still walking through the dark passageways in the temple. I still hadn’t seen the mysterious Pokemon.

    Suddenly, the air in the passageway started to be filled with energy. You couldn’t see it, but you could feel it if you were there. I stopped an surveyed my surroundings.


    I spun around and came face to face with Aaron.

    Ash walked down the passageway with Pikachu on his heels. Suddenly, Suicune appeared around the corner.

    “I guess I’m going to have to fight her…” He mused, reaching for a Poke Ball on his belt.

    “Come on, Bulbasaur!” He shouted, releasing his grass and poison-type. “Razor Leaf!” Razor sharp leaves shot from his bulb and flew at Suicune. She unleashed a ravishing Ice Beam, which destroyed the Razor Leaves and hit Bulbasaur. Ash recalled him and surrounded himself and Pikachu with a Light Screen, giving him a chance to escape. He bolted down another hallway and nearly ran smack into Brandon.

    “Where you running, kid?” He asked.

    “I just ran into Suicune down that passageway,” he answered, pointing to the right.

    “We don’t have much time until Raikou and Entei catch up with us as well,” Brandon said. “Let’s get going!”

    Maxie walked down the passageway, keeping an eye out for any of the three beasts. Suddenly, he spotted Shia running toward him.


    “We don’t have much time! We have to find Kristal soon!” She said. “She’s in trouble!”

    “What’s going on?”

    “I’ll tell you on the way!” She said, running back down the passageway with Maxie right behind her.

    “Aaron?” It couldn’t be…Aaron…I reached out to him and felt a barrier between us. Where did it come from? A thought of Ash crossed my mind. Did having feelings for him keep me away from Aaron? I pounded on the barrier with fury. I loved them both, but I so wanted to see Aaron…to touch him.

    Suddenly, I saw a flashback before my eyes, of Greevil attacking Aaron and killing him. I was filled with even more anger. How could he be so cold-hearted? Oh, that’s right, he was a demon…

    Aaron appeared again in place of the memory. He held out his hand and the barrier disappeared. I stumbled forward and into his arms.

    “Kristal,” He said. “You need to stand strong. What you see before me is not me… It is just a vision… caused by the legendary powers that flow through this temple… You are about to face a great danger… Are you ready?”

    I nodded. “Yes…I think so…”

    “Say hello to my mother for me.”

    “Your mother?”


    My eyes widened in shock. Shia was Aaron’s mother? But how? Unless she was an angel or a demon…Aaron began to fade from my view and from my tough. “No, please don’t leave!” He disappeared and I fell to the ground, sobbing.


    I looked up into Shia’s dark brown eyes.

    “Are you okay?”

    “Y…You’re Aaron’s mother?” I asked. I saw Maxie appear from the passageway.

    She gasped. “How did you know?”

    “He told me…Just now…”

    She nodded. “Yes… I am.”

    “What are you?” I asked, struggling to my feet.

    She hesitated, unsure whether to tell us or not. “I…I’m a demon…Greevil’s my brother…”

    Maxie and I stood in shock for a while. I couldn’t believe it… Shia was Aaron’s mother… Greevil’s sister… and a demon?

    “Greevil could never forgive me for marrying Aaron’s father and joining Starclan. He was especially angry after I had Aaron… I guess that’s why he killed him…

    I shook my head. “I can’t believe it…”

    “I remember… A few years before I had Aaron… I met you.”


    “Yes… It was right when you were transferred to earth as an Aquapolian during the first Great War… You were supposed to be transferred into a thirteen-year-old body, but you were transferred into a three-year-old body. You were so frightened and lost when I found you crying in the forest beside the palace. I remember taking you home and caring for you for about a month… After that, you just disappeared…”

    Before I could respond, we heard a crash up ahead. A huge white…thing with arms and legs appeared. It walked upright and its arms were ringed with yellow and stones of different colors dotted its body.

    “What is that?” Shia asked.

    “That must be the Pokemon that was rumored to live here!” I exclaimed.

    “Wait… That’s Regigigas!” Maxie exclaimed.


    “Regigigas! It’s somehow related to the Regis…”

    The Pokemon let out a roar and charged toward us. We scrambled out of the way as it lashed out with a Metal Claw. It hit Maxie and sent him flying into a wall. He scrambled to his feet and released a Flamethrower. Regigigas dodge and I slammed into it with a Fire Punch. Shia tried to hold it back but we were blown back with a Hyper Beam. Maxie slammed into the wall and cried out in pain. Shia held Regigigas back as I ran over to him.

    “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

    He groaned. “It’s my arm.”

    I helped him to his feet and we bolted out of the chamber with Shia right behind us. Regigigas roared and thundered after us. Suddenly, Greevil appeared around the corner. Sneering, he said, “Having trouble?”

    Okay, I’ve decided I’m going to touch on some things after the chapter as well.

    Okay, I can’t believe no one has even guessed what Maxie saw on the wall of that secret room in the Cave of Origin… What could it be? I thought you guys were curious enough… But, I see you’re not…

    Also, as you have noticed, I like injuring Maxie at least once per fanfic… I’m going to tell you, though, in this one, he’s going to have a lot more to worry about than a broken arm.

    And finally, OMG! Shia is Aaron’s mother?! How can that happen?! One thing, Shia is a demon… She can live for thousands of years like Kris and Greevil. She and Greevil are also both 16,000 years old, just like Kris. Therefore, all three of them are 16 years old in demon and angel years. But, since Kris is living like an Aquapolian, she is currently 15 years old in her Aquapolian body. I hope that didn’t confuse anyone…
  19. Nightmare the Scyther

    Nightmare the Scyther Altaria x Aerodactyl

    Nope, didn't confuse me a bit this time! So, before they took on their Aquapolian bodies, they were already the angels/demons they already were, right?

    'Twas great! An amazing chapter! And since my attention was kept the whole chapter, I assume you did what I asked and went back to add description or something...if not, you're improving yet again by trial and error! congrats! *hugglefies*
  20. chosen_one386

    chosen_one386 Angel of Chaos

    Thank you, Nightmare! Chapter 4 up sometime...

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