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The Quest for the Legends, now with its ILCOETH revision!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Dragonfree, Apr 26, 2004.

  1. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Are you saying... that is your last name? o_O;

    Anyway, the battle was a one-on-one, and Mark had already sent out Sandslash, who doesn't know any attacking moves other than Slash/Scratch, Poison Sting and then Earthquake. Earthquake was what Mark was going to use after he found out that Mutark only grew after tasting blood, but he was too late with the command.
  2. Ash_Junior

    Ash_Junior Irredeemable Nerd

    Nice chapter, as usual, Dragonfree. It was superb.

    now, let me think of a question to ask you that hasn't already been asked...


    can't think of anything!


    I can't wait for the next chappie!
  3. Blivsey

    Blivsey DATA_ERROR

    Wow, that made me realise that you're greeting my math teacher in your custom title. o_O
  4. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Hey, there's a new chapter! Not very long, but I had to end it there. I personally think this battle is one of my best yet; funnily enough, in the old version it was also one of my best yet at that time. I know the title is cliché; I just realized that using the title I originally intended for it would spoil too much.


    Violence: Pokémon battle, but not an exceptionally violent one this time.

    Gore: None.

    Sexuality: None.

    Profanity: None.

    Other: Nothing special.

    Chapter 16: The Third Badge

    Mark walked nervously forward as May pocketed her badge and stepped out of the way.

    “This battle will be a three on three,” Mitch said calmly, inserting his Pokéballs into a Pocket Healer. Mark noticed that Mitch had a fourth Pokéball at his belt, too. “No healing items of any sort may be used on a Pokémon while the battle is going on. A recalled Pokémon counts as a fainted Pokémon.”

    Mark nodded.

    “Very well,” said Mitch. “Let us begin.”

    He took a ball and threw it. The light from the sphere materialized into the yellow bee that Mitch had used earlier.

    “I choose…” Mark’s hand fiddled with his Pokéballs. Charmeleon would definitely be the best choice, but after all, Mitch had a Pokémon that Mark hadn’t seen yet, which might be powerful. The best trainers always said that you should leave your strongest Pokémon until last – provided that you know it will still be the strongest then.

    Mark paused. Mitch’s Pokémon had all been Bug/Poison types; this meant that unless it was just a freaky coincidence, he probably only trained Pokémon that had both types.

    He took out a Pokéball. Beedrill weren’t the strongest Pokémon around, and Eevee could probably do with a bit more battling experience.

    “Eevee, you can do this!”

    Mitch nodded as the small furred creature came out of the ball. “Interesting,” he simply said.

    “Eevee, try a Quick Attack!” Mark said determinedly, hoping that Eevee could bring himself to attack the Beedrill. He did; he hesitated for a bit of a second, but then leapt into the air and tackled the bee Pokémon at high speed. It was knocked backwards, but retaliated by swooping down and jabbing Eevee with the stingers on its forelegs. He staggered backwards, then blinked and faced Beedrill again with a determined “Vi!” His battling instincts were clearly starting to show.

    “Twineedle,” said Mitch simply, and Beedrill dove down again, its foreleg stingers raised. Eevee seemed to freeze for a moment, but then jumped out of the way, narrowly dodging it. Beedrill swooped upwards again to avoid getting hit.

    “Eevee, use… um, maybe Tail Whip?” Mark suggested, realizing immediately afterwards that he had forgotten to sound like he knew what he was doing. Eevee didn’t appear to mind; he crouched down low with his tail in the air, and started wagging it back and forward. While Beedrill’s glossy red compound eyes watched Eevee’s tail tip, he jumped up and tackled the bee again in mid-air.

    “Poison Sting,” Mitch commanded, just as Beedrill was thrown backwards. The bee instantly obeyed, lunging at Eevee as he landed on the Gym floor and stinging him with its right foreleg. He shuddered, but countered by kicking some sand that seemed to materialize under his feet into the bee Pokémon’s eyes. It didn’t appear to be much more than a distraction, though; a creature without eyelids had to be designed not to be bothered by sand in the eyes.

    “Veeee,” Eevee moaned with a dazed look in his eyes. Mark realized that the Beedrill’s poison was starting to affect him.

    “Don’t give up, just get one more hit in with Quick Attack,” he said desperately. Eevee used his last strength to leap up and hit the bee once again. It was thrown into the wall, where it fell down, unconscious.

    “Good job, Eevee!” Mark cheered, recalling his weak but proud Pokémon. “What’s next?”

    With a faint smile, Mitch took out another Pokéball. He threw it without words into the middle of the arena, where it released his Venomoth. It flapped its wings slowly, watching Mark with its creepy, staring eyes.

    He thought about what to send out. He still wanted to save Charmeleon for the last. The best trainers never recommended training a Pokémon to become much stronger than the rest of the team, so he would rather not use Scyther. That left Gyarados. He hadn’t gotten any training in the desert anyway, so he was a few levels behind.

    “Go, Gyarados!” Mark announced, throwing the Pokéball towards the pool on the left side of the arena. The sea monster materialized from the red light, apparently not feeling up for his normal roar since he just growled slightly.

    “Stun Spore, Venomoth,” Mitch said. The moth flew over Gyarados and started flapping its wings, releasing a cloud of golden spores.

    “Dive, quickly!” Mark blurted out. Gyarados disappeared beneath the surface of the water, and was not affected by the powder.

    “Psybeam, Venomoth,” Mitch said as Gyarados came up again. His Pokémon fired a rainbow-colored beam of psychic energy into the monster’s face. He retaliated by grabbing the moth in his mouth with a quick movement.

    “Psychic and then Stun Spore,” Mitch ordered his Pokémon. Venomoth, still locked between Gyarados’s jaws, glowed bright blue and as the eerie aura engulfed Gyarados, he was forced to open his mouth and release the captive. As soon as Venomoth was free, it flapped its wings rapidly to send another flurry of sparkling dust at the sea monster. Some of it escaped in through his nostrils, and his long segmented body immediately stiffened, allowing more of the paralyzing powder to enter his bloodstream as he inhaled it.

    “Gyarados, do something!” Mark cried desperately, having no idea what to do. With difficulty, the immobile monster closed his eyes and Mark saw him starting to get grayer.

    “Is that…” he gasped, just as Gyarados’s eyes snapped open and fired the same type of a bright red beam as he had used on Suicune. This time, an even more amazing effect of it was revealed; Venomoth fluttered out of the way, but the beam followed on its own accord and blasted the purple moth Pokémon across the arena. On the way, ice seemed to start layering around its wings, and it fell to the ground with a clatter, clearly frozen.

    “Interesting…” Mitch muttered. “Very… very interesting.”

    The Pokéball’s beam zapped Venomoth into the ball again. Mark looked at Gyarados; he was still rather grayish, and appeared very exhausted, not to mention his paralysis. He would barely last long like that.

    “Return,” Mark said, recalling the sea monster back into his Pokéball too. “Guess it’s down to our last Pokémon, then.”

    “Indeed,” Mitch agreed, smiling. He took out a Pokéball; it was the one he had not used against May.

    Mark hesitated a bit, but took Charmeleon’s Pokéball, silently hoping that his assumption that Mitch’s Pokémon were all bugs was correct.

    “Go!” Mark shouted. Both of them threw the Pokéballs at the same time; Mark’s became the red lizard, and Mitch’s formed into something smaller, with four sets of limbs, a tail and two pincers.

    “A Scorplack?” Mark asked, staring at the shiny black scorpion. “The one that… didn’t kill you?”

    “Of course,” said Mitch, smiling. “I told you I caught him.”

    “Is he your strongest?” Mark asked nervously.

    Mitch nodded. “Is that your starter?” he questioned back.

    “Yes,” Mark replied with a smile. “Flamethrower!” he then called to his Pokémon.

    Charmeleon spewed a bright spiral of flames from his mouth, but Scorplack darted to the right with surprising agility and avoided it.

    “Watch out for the stinger!” Mark told Charmeleon quickly. “Try another Flamethrower!”

    The lizard blasted out some more flames, which Scorplack also avoided. The scorpion then swung his tail at Charmeleon, who narrowly managed to jump out of the way.

    “Keep at a safe distance, Charmeleon,” Mark said desperately. “Don’t let it come near you, and try to attack it with fire.”

    “Mega Sting,” Mitch commanded. “And dodge the Flamethrowers.”

    Scorplack shot towards Charmeleon with his stinger raised. The lizard released more flames out of his mouth, but the scorpion leapt to the side.

    “Darn dodger!” Mark gritted his teeth. Charmeleon growled in agreement as he ran out of the scorpion’s reach, slowing him down with a tongue of fire that he sent over his shoulder. Scorplack evaded it like the previous ones and then unexpectedly sped up, reached Charmeleon’s side and swung his tail at the lizard. The tail end stung into his arm and injected poison into his blood. He roared in pain, spitting out a ball of fire. It hit the floor just by Scorplack’s legs; he jumped up and ran to the side, Charmeleon following. Mark was getting worried; Charmeleon would faint any minute now, when the poison came into effect.

    But he didn’t.

    Mark watched the lizard shoot another Flamethrower and Scorplack running frantically to the side to avoid it. For a moment he expected Charmeleon to fall unconscious in a matter of seconds. Then, when he still didn’t, something hit him.

    “Charmeleon!” he shouted. “You’ve been stung before, you must’ve gained an immunity to the poison! Move in for physical assault; you don’t need to fear being stung!”

    Hearing this, the lizard leapt forward, aiming for the scorpion. Not expecting it, Scorplack made an attempt to defend himself with his pincer, but Charmeleon came down on top of him and released a powerful blast of flames directly down at the scorpion’s head. Scorplack let out a screech, but then fell silent. Charmeleon turned to Mark and sent him a salute, grinning. Mark smiled back.

    “Return,” Mitch said slowly to his Pokémon, holding forward the Pokéball. “Nice thinking there at the end.”

    Mark just blushed, his smile widening as Charmeleon returned to the Pokéball in a beam of red.

    “I confer upon you the Venom Badge,” Mitch announced, holding up a small object. Mark walked up to him and took it. It resembled a silver coin like the other badges; however, this one had small circular ripples in its smooth surface.

    “Uh, thanks,” Mark said awkwardly. “Er, yeah. Guess I’m off, then.”

    “Good luck,” said Mitch and smiled his faint smile. Mark nodded and ran out of the Gym; he was feeling all jumpy like he couldn’t just walk.


    Victor looked after Mark as he ran east out of the town.

    “Do you know him? And the girl who was with him when he came to town?”

    Victor jumped. It was Mitch; he had seemingly been standing by his side without him noticing.

    “Sort of, yeah,” he replied. “I battled him, and the girl came afterwards. Why?”

    Mitch nodded sadly. “I just have this feeling something bad will happen to them.”
  5. Ash_Junior

    Ash_Junior Irredeemable Nerd

    was the gray attack Tri-attack?




    is Victor gonna be a major player later on?

    I read the old one a while ago, but I can't remember...

    EDIT: first reviewer for the new chapter!

  6. Blivsey

    Blivsey DATA_ERROR

    Yay! I'm actually here for this chapter! This battle description WAS great. Never would have thought of the immunity thing... *scribbes on list of ficwriting notes* Ahh... excellent desription this battle, neat tactic-thinking, I just say wow. No wonder that this is the highest-rated fic in its area.
  7. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    No, it's not Tri Attack. You can't exactly picture a Doduo firing a red laser beam from its eyes, can you? ;)
  8. Ash_Junior

    Ash_Junior Irredeemable Nerd


    I was trying to think of something that would work.

    the only other thing I could think it would be would be something like Soul Bond (Emerald_Dragon on TPT...either the camp fic, or the Diamond League one after that)
  9. Blivsey

    Blivsey DATA_ERROR

    I have a good feeling that this attack is TOTALLY new.
  10. guiltysparkzz

    guiltysparkzz AKA mattgcn

    Great chapter! Loved it like usual. Tenseness to da max! Whatever that attack is, it sure sounds cool. Can you give us the specs on it (BP, AC NAME) or are you saving it for a later chapter?

    Hehe, PT has Mega Sting too.
  11. Lupin

    Lupin Legendary Pokémon Coordinator

    Brilliant battle Dragonfree. Excellant Description as usual.

    I can't wait to here more about this attack and gyarados history.
  12. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    You're not getting the name of the attack, but you can get the specifics on it.

    Type: Dragon
    Base damage: 150
    Accuracy: N/A (never misses)
    Effect: Paralysis, Burn or Freeze at random 50% of the time
    Description: Charges on first turn, strikes on second and sharply lowers Special Attack.
    PP: 5

    (I made Mega Sting years ago, by the way, so I didn't copy Pokémon Treasures.)
  13. Elemental Charizam

    Elemental Charizam Sudden Genre Shift

    Well, Mega Sting isn't the most original wonderful name ever so I could imagine two people with it....

    Anyway I loved the new chapter, though it did seem a bit shorter than usual.

    Isn't that what leer looks like? (The laser part, not the grey-going)

    I'll stop being annoying and go now.

  14. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    That's what it looked like in G/S/C, and it was just to signify that your Pokémon was glaring evilly at the opponent, not to say that they actually fired red laser beams from their eyes.

    (And yeah, it was shorter than usual; as I said, I had to end it there.)
  15. Chibi Pika

    Chibi Pika Stay positive

    Whee, yet another awesome chpater (how many times have I said that?) Really, I don't have much to say, I loved the battle and, hm...I can't think of much else to say except keep it up 'cause this fic rules!(this has got to be the most non-constructive review I've ever given.)

  16. guiltysparkzz

    guiltysparkzz AKA mattgcn

    Didn't say you did. I believe V got it from PPC, wherever that is...

    That other attack looks wicked cool.
  17. Insincerus

    Insincerus Guest

    Something NOBODY Caught Onto...

    Well, Dragonfree, I've read the full sixteen chapters in about six hours, and I am raring to read some more of your tantalizing story.

    I want to be the first to realize this (or to finally say it), but [spoil]back when Taylor was supposed to get Charmeleon when Officer Jenny did the Pokemon ID Number check, NOBODY said anything about Officer Jenny's eyes. They were blank. How she almost mechanically pushed May and Mark out of the door. Did anybody realize that Taylor had Mewtwo^2 outside of the building? How Taylor thought to himself, that he wanted Officer Jenny to move faster, as if it was an order to a particular someone? Maybe Officer Jenny was the puppet, but where would the marionette lead to?[/spoil] Dragonfree has been hinting this nearly the whole time and no one has said a word about it. I try to pay close attention to details such as those ^^

    Well, wee. Dragonfree, I must say that this is one of the most spectacular fan-fictions I have ever read (which is quite a lot). Please excuse me for the huge spoiler (it may not be, but I put it in the spoiler tag just in case), but I had to get that out in the open or I was going to murder myself :p

    Anywho, the characters, I feel their emotions; the surging of anger through their veins, their uncomfortability in some situations, determination launching the remaining pride they have left in their souls just to finish the battles, etc. The battle scenes you create are quite brief (but everyone has their own style) sometimes, but when I read each descriptive word and order-barking of the Pokemon and Trainers, this can be very intense and keep me at the edge of my seat. I have had over (and I counted) 34 urges to squeal because the thicken/ed/ing plot has just made me want to shriek, "MUST...HAVE...MORE!" During these straight sands going through the hourglass, I feel as if I am in the story from a narrator's perspective, although we can read Mark's thoughts, because my imagination started a clean slate at the beginning, and waiting to complete another portion once you have posted the next chappy.

    You have also put a crystal-clear image of the Ouen Pokemon in my mind. Even if the author doesn't completely furnish my brain with what it looks like exactly (not yours, oh no, no, no, great yours is), I still manage to figure what it would look like. Woohee. Also, I really enjoyed the new attack you created for Gyrados, the attack-that-must-not-be-named, or "you-know-what-attack" for short. Never misses. That explains why the "the-attack-that-must-not-be-named" was like a heat-seeking missile and hit Venamoth anyway when it attempted to dodge the magnifently described red beam. And the 50% Frozen, Burnt, or Paralyzed would also explain why Venamoth turned into a buggy ice-icle. Ha. ha!

    Well, continue your story as soon as you feel like it. I'll definitely be waiting. Time to subscribe!

    Btw: Was what I said in the spoiler box of any importance in your epic? I feel as if I must know...
  18. Ash_Junior

    Ash_Junior Irredeemable Nerd

    actually, I spottedthat, but didn't see the need to bring it up...:D
  19. Chibi Pika

    Chibi Pika Stay positive

    Hmmm...same here. i noticed that while reading it, but just decided to wait until it played into the story more to comment.

  20. Insincerus

    Insincerus Guest

    You see, me, I can't do things like that. Storing up fairly useful information will lead people to think that after you say you knew it, they naturally don't believe you. Just going with the flow, some may say. Ah, what is this pish-posh I'm speeching? Anyway, I am looking forward to the next chapter, Dragonfree! ;248;
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 12, 2004

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