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The Quest for the Legends, now with its ILCOETH revision!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Dragonfree, Apr 26, 2004.

  1. nice good thing you started over no offense but the last time was really really no that good compared to this one,any ways this is great with the humor.
     
  2. Spazzikarp

    Spazzikarp The one and only

    Wow. You took an already good ficcy and made it better. Excellent length and description. I can't wait to read more of the revised version.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2004
  3. Daatingu

    Daatingu Guest

    Very nice chapter...

    I really enjoyed this one. I also liked the fact that his parents tried to stop him from going, instead of the usual "I'll just let my 10-year old go out into the wilderness alone" routine. Length was good and so was description. I could almost picture the legendary's as you rounded them off. Keep it up, I can't wait for the next one...
     
  4. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    There's no need to say "no offense" about that, I've been saying again and again that I'm revising it because it WAS horrible, there's no way you could offend anybody by agreeing with them.

    SpazzticScizor: Can't read more of it? Umm... that's all I've written of the revised version... unless you forgot a word somewhere in there...

    beauinmexico: Yeah, I've always thought it was stupid when parents would let their kids go out on a Pokémon journey all of a sudden... it's probably because they've been on journeys themselves, but in Mark's case, they haven't and will therefore try to keep him home. And the fact that they wouldn't let him train Pokémon is probably the main reason he wants it so much.


    By the way, notice that The Ouen Legends had Mark's attention during the whole of the library part, meaning he never did get Pokémon Training for Dummies... it will matter later on. ;)
     
  5. Mastercougar

    Mastercougar The Infinite Fire

    Personaly, I liked the old fic. You really left off on an important part.
     
  6. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    What important part? I moved a lot of things around and there are minor tweaks, but there's nothing that matters that will be changed or left out. Chapter three, anyway... pretty short, but not too short.




    -------
    RATING

    Violence: None

    Gore: None

    Sexuality: None

    Profanity: None

    Other: Nothing really special...
    -------





    Chapter 3: Vuiiii!

    When Mark was out of the library, Charmander was sitting on the stone steps, his head resting against the shiny wall and his eyes closed peacefully; basically, he was looking absolutely adorable, attracting quite a few ‘awww’s from passers-by.

    “Are you asleep?” Mark asked cautiously, poking Charmander’s shoulder. The Pokémon jumped, eyes opening wide.

    “Wha… no, I was just… er, in deep thought,” he replied awkwardly.

    “Right,” said Mark and grinned. “Shouldn’t we move on?”

    Charmander stood up, and they walked out of the town while dark clouds gathered above them.

    -------

    Keep running, keep running…

    Four small paws beat the ground soundlessly.

    He had no idea where he was running, nor did he care.

    It didn’t matter.

    Why would it? He had better things to worry about.

    A bright white lightning flashed with a terrible roar of thunder. He shrieked in fear, turned around and ran even faster in the other direction.

    Small drops of water started falling, prickling down his beautifully light brown fur coat and soaking the soft, creamy-colored ruff around his neck. He shivered, but kept running.

    -------

    It had started to rain. Charmander’s tail flame was spouting thick steam; Mark glanced worriedly at it every now and then as they walked down the road south to Cleanwater.

    “Are you going to be OK?”

    “Yeah, I’ve been through more rain,” said Charmander casually, obviously referring to the one Mark saved him out of.

    “If you think so,” said Mark doubtfully, still keeping an eye on his friend.

    -------

    Should I give up all hope?

    No…

    It… can’t be…


    He was far too exhausted to run, but the knowledge that by every passing second, his greatest fear was more likely to have come true, drove him on.

    His forepaw hit a small rock hidden in the wet grass. He tried to keep his balance, but tumbled over. He got up right away and despite the pain nailing his left front paw, he aced it and kept going at the same pace.

    -------

    “Hey, Charmander, have you ever thought about evolution?”

    “Yeah, why?” Charmander questioned.

    “Do you want to?” Mark rephrased his question.

    “Huh?”

    “Do you want to evolve?”

    “Why are you asking?” Charmander said, puzzled, looking up at Mark.

    “Shouldn’t I ask you?” Mark asked, raising an eyebrow.

    “Of course you should,” Charmander said, looking down. “But most trainers wouldn’t, that’s why I was surprised. My old trainer wouldn’t.” He spat the last words in a resentful tone.

    “Yeah, that’s one thing,” Mark said thoughtfully, “did your trainer release you?”

    “No… not really…” said Charmander faintly.

    “What happened?”

    “Well… he battled a girl with a Quilava once. Didn’t use me for it, he never used me at all. But she beat him and he showed her me, lied that I was level 15 like her Quilava was, and asked to trade. She bought it, she didn’t really appear to like her Quilava all that much for whatever reason. They just did an unofficial trade by handing each other the Pokéballs, and then my trainer quietly made himself disappear. Then it appears that when the girl registered me to her Pokédex and found out I was level five, she tossed the ball to the ground in anger and ran after my old trainer, so I popped out of the ball and was left there. Then I just walked off in a random direction, and ended up in that monsoon.”

    “Oh…” was all Mark could say. He paused, then added: “He must’ve been a selfish little brat.”

    “Yup,” said Charmander and sighed.

    -------

    He was beyond exhausted. He was even starting to slow down. He tried to order his legs to speed up again, but they refused and answered simply by collapsing under him. He helplessly crawled a bit on through the tall grass, and to his horror he realized that he was lost either way.

    It was too painful…

    He eyed the road and the cars just a few meters away, and made his hopeless decision.

    -------

    “Hey,” Charmander suddenly exclaimed, “did you hear something?”

    “No,” said Mark.

    “It was just, you know, a small rustle…”

    “Like a Pokémon?” Mark suggested hopefully.

    “Yeah…”

    Mark stopped and looked around the dry grass on both sides of the road. Something moved, just a few inches from the roadside.

    He carefully came a bit nearer, and saw that it was a little brown furball with long, rabbit-like ears. A thick, creamy ruff covered its neck and a bushy tail extended from its backside. It was flailing around a bit, apparently trying to crawl but not really being successful.

    “An Eevee!” Mark shouted so loudly that the Pokémon made a desperate, yet unsuccessful attempt to get up and run away before fainting with fear. He quickly realized the mistake of his over-excitement, and started thinking about his next problem.

    “Why do I have to run across an Eevee just when I don’t have any Pokéballs?” he moaned. “Just my luck…”

    Exactly then, he caught a glimpse of something in the grass, a few meters away from the Eevee. It was a familiar red and white sphere…

    He couldn’t believe it. A Pokéball was lying there, exactly when he needed it.

    He quickly walked over to it, bent down and picked up the ball. It felt cold and metallic; a few grass blades were glued to its wet surface by the water. But it would work just as well. He took aim at the Pokémon.

    “Pokéball, GO!” he yelled, just like he had seen on TV.

    “What do you think you’re doing??”

    Charmander jumped up and punched the ball away in the air so it missed its target.

    “What was that for?” Mark groaned.

    “What was it for?” Charmander snapped, raising up his tiny thumb. “One: He’s unconscious.” Charmander raised his forefinger, continuing: “Two: He’s obviously too young to battle at all, don’t you see how small he is?” He raised the third miniscule finger: “And three: He’s in an absolutely terrible state; he’s obviously been through hell before we came here.” He lowered his hand firmly. “Don’t you know the Agreement? If a Pokémon is caught while unable to put up a fair fight for its freedom, it is free to ignore or even attack its trainer until released back into the wild.”

    Mark blushed; of course he knew this. The Agreement between Pokémon and humans clearly stated that Pokémon must only be caught while they were still in proper condition to battle. He had forgotten all about it in the shock of seeing one of the most sought-after Pokémon in the world.

    “Also,” Charmander went on with folded arms, “he’s young enough for me to strongly suspect that he shouldn’t be wandering around on his own. I think he must have lost his mother.”

    Mark now felt terrible about his foolish longing to throw a metal ball at the little thing. It could’ve died; what was he thinking?

    “A male, you say?” Mark questioned.

    “Yeah,” Charmander nodded.

    Mark slowly walked towards the fainted Pokémon, bent down and touched the fur on the head. It was soft, thick and very smooth, but with a few twigs tangled in it. He brushed them off, and the Eevee’s body twitched a bit.

    Carefully, he picked the Pokémon up. Its body was warm; Mark felt weird holding it. He stroked a few times over the fur on the head with some soothing words, and to his delight found that Eevee’s eyes opened a bit.

    “Vuii!” he shrieked and weakly struggled to get away, but Mark held him tightly. Eevee seemed to find the warmth from a living body to be somewhat comforting and in the end just curled himself up in his arms.

    For a few seconds, Mark just stood there like in a trance, but then snapped out of it.

    “We’d better hurry to Cleanwater to get him help,” he said to Charmander before breaking into a run. The lizard followed on his heels.

    A lone Pokéball was left by the roadside.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2018
  7. Daatingu

    Daatingu Guest

    Very cool...

    I enjoyed the chapter very much. What happened to Charmander was so sad. My heart reall went out for it. Overall, description was good. Length could have been a bit better, but it was enjoyable all the same. You're doing a great job. I'm hooked on this story. Keep it up, I can't wait for more.

    ~Beau
     
  8. PokeManiac

    PokeManiac Guest

    Description was good, length was good, overall good. What Beau said, what happened to Charmander was sad... But this is a great fic! Keep up the good work!
     
  9. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Thanks for the comments. Charmander's story wasn't really that tragic, though...

    By the way I hope everybody noticed what that Pokéball was.



    ---EXTRA III---

    The Agreement

    The Agreement is basically the “ten commandments” of the Pokémon world. It’s my own idea, by the way, so don’t steal it. It goes like this:


    1. If a Pokémon is not in the state to battle due to age, injuries, or any other reason, it must not be caught. A Pokémon that is caught under these circumstances does not rightfully belong to its trainer, and is by law free. If the Trainer does not release the Pokémon to be permanently free from the Pokéball, the Pokémon may ignore or even lightly attack the Trainer if necessary in order for the Pokémon to gain its rightful freedom.

    2. If a Trainer’s Pokémon possesses an Attack capable of killing its opponent, it is on the Pokémon’s own responsibility to dampen or aim its attacks so that they will not cause fatal injuries to another Trainer’s Pokémon. Likewise, a Trainer may not command his or her own Pokémon to kill another Trainer’s Pokémon in any case. For example, a Scyther may never aim its Slash at its opponent’s neck, and a Flareon must keep its Flamethrower’s temperature at a low enough level not to cause serious burns.

    3. A Trainer’s Pokémon may not in any case attack a human with the intention of killing or seriously injuring him or her. Likewise, a Trainer must never order his or her Pokémon to attack a human with the aforementioned intentions.

    4. Pokémon battles should be a sport, and a sport only; they should not be used to settle personal disputes between Trainers, in order to humiliate another Trainer, or to threaten another Trainer.

    5. If a Pokémon does not wish to battle for whatever reasons, its Trainer must not force the Pokémon to battle.

    6. A Pokémon should never be separated from its Trainer in any case if that is not the Pokémon’s own will.

    7. Pokémon should never be punished for disobedience or failure to win. If physical punishment is attempted, the Pokémon is free to defend itself.

    8. A Trainer must not let his or her Pokémon be without food, drink, or proper health care. If the Trainer does not have access to these primary needs, the Trainer must try to obtain them as soon as possible.

    9. A Pokémon has equal rights, including freedom of speech, to a human.

    10. Neither Trainers nor Pokémon may abuse the rights specified in this Agreement.
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2004
  10. Hmm, chapter two always seemed like a barrage of all that information at one, but you managed it better this time. Still, I had to work to stop myself skipping ahead through some of the Pokémon descriptions.

    Chapter three is much better... in the extreme! I loved the little passages from Eevee's point of view before he actually appeared: it worked fantastically to build up the scene. I'm still a little boggled at how much better this is than it was originally... How do you do that?! :p

    I love the new extras too, although I suppose you could argue that something like the Agreement could be explained through the story, I think it worked a lot better this way. Makes for less dialogue or thought or... something of that kind. ^^;

    O.O The excitement! It's unnatural! Keep up the good work, Dragonfree!
    ~Obsidian :123:
     
  11. nestlywez

    nestlywez Guest

    great chapters!!! sorry i havent replied lately been busy. i like all of the extras and all of tthe info very original i think. i can't wait until all of these legendarys come into play. keep up the great work!!!
     
  12. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Obsidian: Chapter two is probably my very worst because all it is about is telling the reader what the Legendary Pokémon are, although it's a lot better now. As for chapter three... I honestly have no idea what I exactly did, I just rewrote it. You should've seen the VERY first version of chapter three... there were two versions of it before the one you read before, and the first version... >_< The UMR (previous) was a great improvement over the second version.

    nestlywez: Heh, I'm afraid the Legendaries aren't about to take much part in it until chapter twenty-something... :/ But there's plenty of stuff to keep you occupied until then.

    Anyway, chapter four is mainly just information.



    -------
    RATING

    Violence: None.

    Gore: None.

    Sexuality: None.

    Profanity: None.

    Other: Nothing special...
    -------



    Chapter 4: Cleanwater City

    After ten minutes or so, Mark and Charmander arrived at the Cleanwater city Pokémon Center, panting.

    Mark went straight up to the bell on the desk and hammered it with his hand until a red-haired nurse dressed in white, whose name was most likely Joy, came out of a room in the back.

    “No need to be so harsh on the bell,” she said serenely.

    “I… I found this Eevee,” Mark panted, attempting to catch his breath, and gently placed the little Pokémon, unconscious, on the desk. “He was fainted near the road to Sailance…”

    “Sailance?” the nurse, whom Mark just decided to call Joy, questioned. “Isn’t that out of the Pokémon-inhabited area?”

    “Yes, it is, is Eevee going to be fine?” Mark asked very quickly.

    “What was an Eevee doing there?” repeated Nurse ‘Joy’.

    “Should I know that?” Mark said loudly. “I asked: Is he going to be all right?”

    Nurse Joy took out a small tool resembling a red cellphone, pointed it at Eevee and pressed a button. A little beep was heard before she took it and read off it.

    “He’s just exhausted, hungry and cold,” Nurse Joy announced upon looking back at Mark, smiling. “He will be fine, but it could take some time to revive him. Just have a seat, and I’ll alert you when something happens.”

    Mark sighed in relief as Nurse Joy took Eevee into the room at the back, then turned around and as he was now breathing normally again, he took some time to look around.

    The floor was covered in a light pink, fluffy carpet. The room was very large, and at random places all over except in the direct path from the automatic door to the counter, there were big, comfy-looking red sofas. Several trainers sat in them, either chatting or just staring into thin air, waiting for their Pokémon to be healed.

    Mark walked towards the nearest sofa, which was empty, and sat down there, tapping his foot impatiently while observing the room better. The walls were painted white, but covered in posters and advertisements about everything from the Ouen league and challenges for trainers to always carry Potions with them to cheap travel packages. Meanwhile, Charmander stood at the foot of the sofa, watching his tail flame burn.

    The automatic door slid open, catching Mark’s attention. A girl ran inside. She had long, brown hair and wore a pink sweater and a dark blue skirt.

    She hurried to Nurse Joy, quickly handing her three of the Pokéballs attached to her belt, and then walked towards Mark’s sofa and sat down in it, glaring anxiously at the back room where Joy was treating her Pokémon.

    Seeing as Mark had nothing better to do and many things to ask, he decided to talk to the girl.

    “Um, excuse me…” he said, turning carefully in her direction. She jerked her head in his direction, and upon realizing he was waiting for an answer, she replied with a dry “Hello”.

    “Do you live here?” Mark asked. The girl nodded.

    “Can you tell me something about the Pokémon Gym here?”

    The girl shrugged. “Sure. What would you like to know?”

    “What type of Pokémon does the gym leader train?” Mark asked, happy to have managed to get to the point so quickly.

    “Legendary Pokémon,” she answered simply.

    What?!” Mark yelled so loudly that a few people stopped talking to stare at him. He lowered his voice, his face going red. “Erm… how does a Gym leader train Legendary Pokémon?”

    The girl giggled. “You’ve never heard of Rick? He spent ten years of his life finding the Legendary Pokémon of all four regions. He got some hairs, feathers, whatever of them, and cloned the Legendaries for himself and his junior trainers. They don’t train them much at all, though, so they’re really low-leveled.”

    “Cloned? But that’s illegal!” Mark protested.

    “Super-clones are illegal,” the girl corrected. “And only if they could wreck something. His Pokéballs prevent the Pokémon they hold from directly disobeying a command, making them harmless. He made the balls himself. He even got a special license allowing him to keep one super-clone, no higher than level ten, mainly for experimental purposes.”

    “But affecting Pokémon’s free will is breaking the Agreement!” Mark argued. The girl just shrugged.

    “Yeah, maybe, but Rick’s got the police in his pocket. He’s capable of world domination with all those legendary clones, and they know it only too well. As long as he isn’t doing anything they absolutely have to do something about, they won’t. They’d get completely screwed unless they attacked in hundreds.”

    “But he isn’t about to do anything like that, is he?” Mark asked worriedly.

    “Of course not, he’s a respectable man with a little brother,” said the girl.

    “What’s a little brother got to do with anything?” Mark questioned, puzzled.

    “Their parents died in a car crash when Rick was fifteen, leaving him alone with his two-year-old brother,” the girl explained. “Rick has been like a parent for his brother since then. Shows that he’s responsible and knows what he’s doing.”

    “Oh.” Mark paused. “So he has them all?”

    “Well, nobody knows, since he only uses the Kanto and Johto ones, but that’s what they say.”

    “So, are all of the Legendaries at very low levels, then?” he then asked.

    “Yeah, they don’t go higher than level 15,” the girl said. “And the more Pokémon a junior trainer has, the lower are their levels. The strongest ones are possessed by the junior trainers with the fewest Pokémon.”

    “Sounds balanced,” Mark said.

    “But remember that they’re Legendaries after all,” she warned him.

    “OK, thanks,” Mark said, and was about to ask something else when Nurse Joy stepped forward and pointed for both of them to come. Both kids stood up and walked towards the counter.

    “Megan, your Pokémon have been fully healed,” Nurse Joy said with a small bow, handing three Pokéballs to the girl, then turning to Mark, “and your Eevee is going to be in perfect battle condition tomorrow. The hotel is just round the corner, if you plan on staying there.”

    “Battle condition?” Mark questioned. “But isn’t he too young to battle?”

    “Technically, yes,” Nurse Joy sighed. “But he’s been battling, apparently. Got some Rattata bites and scratches. Goodness knows what he’s been through…”

    “Oh, okay,” said Mark. “But I’ll release him afterwards, right? He isn’t caught in a Pokéball…”

    “Well…” said Nurse Joy sadly, “I have to admit that I don’t think that’s a very good idea. He’s been battling, but hasn’t fared all too well. If he came across a Raticate or Sandslash…”

    “You mean I should take him?” asked Mark, shocked.

    “I mean that we should explain the situation to him when he wakes up, and ask him what he wants to do.”

    Mark didn’t answer; he wanted to own an Eevee, of course, but tried not to because he knew then he’d be disappointed if Eevee rather wanted to be released.

    “Is your Charmander fine?” Nurse Joy asked, smiling.

    “Yeah,” said Mark, snapping out of his thoughts. “Anyway, thanks. I’ll come back tomorrow.”

    Next, Mark went to the Pokémart with Charmander. It looked a bit like the Pokémon center beside it; a big, white building with an automatic door and a dome-shaped roof, except that instead of the Pokémon center’s red color, the Pokémart’s roof was blue. Beside the door, a large sign clarified the building’s identity.

    Mark walked inside. To the left, there was a counter with a funnily-dressed punk guy behind it, busy claiming cash for people’s purchases. To the right, metallic shelves with healing items, Pokémon food, and all sorts of Pokémon equipment stood in straight rows all the way to the back of the shop.

    Mark examined the contents of the first shelf. They were healing items; to the far left, cheap Potions and status recovering items were stacked; then they gradually went more expensive as they went farther to the right. Mark grabbed a few of the purple and green spray bottles known as Potions, then walked a few steps on. Most of the things he wasn’t all that interested in; this early on, they wouldn’t be worth their price.

    At the end of the row, he stared longingly at a little white box with a red cross on it; a Pocket healer, one could place a Pokéball into it and press a button, and the Pokémon inside would be refreshed with energy in an instant, besides gaining a boost to its natural recovering abilities while inside, being able to fully heal of all its wounds in a remarkably short time. Of course, this item was reserved for out-of-battle usage.

    Unfortunately, the price tag contained the rather unattractive number of 98,000. Mark quit dreaming, and went on.

    He browsed through the shelves. Stat-boosting items were for more advanced trainers, and he didn’t want to buy TM and HM moves until he had planned his Pokémon a bit better. If Eevee would come with him, he would maybe buy an evolution stone for him; of course, he reminded himself as he walked past them, Eevee might not come with him at all, and might not want to evolve, or would rather evolve into Espeon or Umbreon.

    The Pokédolls he wasn’t too interested in, but near them were the Pokéballs and Pokéball belts, so Mark took one belt with six Pokéballs attached to it. Finally, he bought a bit of canned Pokémon food for Charmander and Eevee, and walked to the counter in order to pay. All this stuff put a huge dent into the money he had brought, but that was what the money was for, after all. He just hoped he had enough left for the hotel.

    Once outside, Mark pressed the little buttons on the Potion bottles one by one, minimizing them to the right size to fit neatly into his backpack. He also put on his Pokéball belt. He checked his watch; it was six o’clock, and the rain had subsided. Finally, he stuffed the cans of Pokémon food into the bag; it was now getting full.

    He eyed the hotel sign behind the shop, picked up his bag with a sigh and walked to the hotel, Charmander following him like a fiery ghost.
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2004
  13. Spectreon

    Spectreon Guest

    This is a quantum leap from the old one, Dragonfree. Descriptions are improved, and the characters have more depth to them.The extras also add extra fun! Keep up the good work.
     
  14. Daatingu

    Daatingu Guest

    Very nice...

    That was a good chapter. Nothing really important happened. Nice little filler. That was a very creative idea for the legendary clones. I can say that I would have never though of something like that. Description was great (As always). I felt that length could have been a bit better but, the chapter was great all the same. You're doing a great job. Keep up the good work!

    ~Beau
     
  15. BD25

    BD25 Guest

    It was good the last time you wrote it but it was a bit umm... bad :S I hope you don't take offence to that. But right now, it has improved GREATLY and the story is coming back to me now. Great job and keep up the work!
     
  16. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Spectreon: Glad you're reading this version, and thanks for the compliments.

    beau: I'm afraid most of my chapters aren't that long, but the most important chapters will usually be longer.

    BD25: No, no, no, I don't take offense to honesty. In the very first version... you'd throw up if you saw the first eight chapters or so. Only because nobody bothered being honest with me, I had to find out by myself how horrible it was and rewrite it. Then I've been rewriting it back and forth with short pauses since then... if you compared the oldest version to this, you'd barely believe it was written by the same person...


    Chapter five will probably be a great deal more interesting now than it used to be. I'm also thinking about moving a lot of things around...
     
  17. nestlywez

    nestlywez Guest

    great chapter very interesting can't wait until the next chapters. you've already got me hooked on this fic i'll be following til the end
     
  18. Evanarios

    Evanarios ...yep

    Excellent! Just started reading, had to catch up on some things.... This is very well done.

    Description; Not a Problem, your story is filled with it

    Length; Excellent, very Large

    Flow of Things; This is one of the best things in my opionion, This has an awesome one! It flows right into the story, Very Well done here

    Originality; Good As usual, Most Great Writers, and even some who aren't great can usualy pass this one..

    Overall; A very well done Fiction, I hope to see some more in the Future.

    Good ay!

    ~Evanarios
     
  19. Mastercougar

    Mastercougar The Infinite Fire

    What I meant was that the last post of the origional was a cliffhanger. But now that I think about it, I guess rewriting it was a good idea. I was just a little suprised,that's all.
     
  20. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Meh, suppose you could call it a cliffhanger, but it's not like that was going to be resolved in chapter 37. Although a whole lot of other things were.

    Really, I just read parts of the old one again, actually pretty mid-way ones like chapter 20, and I felt embarrassed for even having that junk up on my site. I'm on the edge of taking it down... I went so rushedly through it, apparently, in the last revision, that chapter 20 has at least two or three places where I randomly refer to a Pokémon as "it". And those battles... @_@ I promise you that I'm going to write at least halfway decent battles in this one. Actually... during the last revision, I revised the first chapters decently, then it went on to small rewordings in the middle. Gaah!
     

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