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The Quest for the Legends, now with its ILCOETH revision!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Dragonfree, Apr 26, 2004.

  1. Eternal Rain

    Eternal Rain Guest

    When are you going to finish Quest for the Legends in www.thepokemontower.com!?It's a great story soooooooooo please finish it!!!!!!!!
     
  2. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    I'm rewriting it. When I get the time I'll replace the old chapters at The Pokémon Tower with the new ones. Chapter 37 will not be written until I've rewritten the 36 before it.
     
  3. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Chapter seven. It's eight pages, so it's not as long as chapters five and six, but I felt this was a nice point to leave off at. It cools down the action with a bit of Charmeleonness aaaand... plottyness! Can you spot the IdioitNESS-inspired part? ;) You're not the first one who ends up inspiring a special scene, by the way.



    -------
    RATING

    Violence: None.

    Gore: None.

    Sexuality: There's one part which has two possible meanings. One is a wee bit naughty, the other is the original intended, clean meaning. I kept it worded like that because I found it kind of funny. XD

    Profanity: None.

    Other: Nothing.
    -------




    Chapter 7: Charmeleon’s Trainer

    Mark was stunned by Charmander’s evolution itself, but no less the fact that even though they had decided to postpone the evolution to a better time, neither of them had been able to do anything to stop it. It also wouldn’t stop bothering him what Charmander was like just before the evolution; he had looked so sickly, sweating like that, and had a headache. And how he acted when he battled Raikou – it wasn’t normal. Not like him.

    Nevertheless, as he reminded himself, he was still in a battle, and two out of the three Pokémon he could use for the battle had fainted, one of the possibilities left being really young, and the other one extremely vulnerable to the opponent’s attacks. He tried to think, but felt he was absolutely unable to concentrate while still worrying about whether Charmeleon was still the same person as before or not.

    He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then opened them again.

    “I forfeit.”

    “What?” the junior trainer questioned, apparently finding this absolutely unheard of.

    “I give up,” said Mark a bit louder. “I’m going to lose the battle anyway.”

    “You’ll have to battle both of us again,” the junior trainer pointed out.

    “Can I just have a quick one-on-one with the guy before you or something?” Mark called back. The junior trainer, not really disliking the idea, shrugged and picked up a car key thing like the other junior trainer had possessed, pointing it at the door Mark came through so that it opened.

    “Thanks,” he said, before jerking around and running through the door.

    The junior trainer in the first room noticed him and apparently had had cases of people rushing through his arena in the wrong direction before, because without words he picked up a key and opened the front door for Mark. He threw a yell of “thanks” over his shoulder before exiting. He was in such a hurry that he didn’t notice the girl he crashed into in the doorway.

    Both of them fell over, landing harshly on the ground.

    “Ow,” Mark groaned, standing heavily up. So did the girl. He was about to say sorry for running into her, but then recognized her as the blue-haired girl whose Skarmory had given Charmander a beating at the Lake of Purity.

    She was still wearing the same clothes, but three other things were different about her. Firstly, her hair was done differently; now two locks fell down on either side of her face outside the ponytails, which also no longer stuck into the air like that, but rather just a little to the sides. Secondly, she had a necklace. Thirdly, her Pokéballs were missing.

    Mark stared at her waist for a few seconds, seeing no trace of the battered Pokéball belt that used to be there. He saw her right eyebrow rise higher on her forehead, before she realized what he was staring at, or rather what he was not staring at. She gave a faint smile.

    “My Pokéball belt was getting old, and in the mart this morning I saw these Pokéball necklaces and couldn’t resist buying one,” she explained, pointing at what Mark had taken for red orbs on the necklace when they were actually real, minimized Pokéballs. “It’s more convenient against thieves, anyway,” the girl added.

    “New hairdo?” Mark asked. The girl blushed.

    “Look, whatever first impression might be forming in your head, I swear, I don’t usually change random things in my appearance like that. Normally people have a hard time convincing me to change my clothes.” She sighed. “My name’s May, by the way. Yours?”

    “Mark,” he said. Apologetically, he added: “Sorry for bumping into you like that.”

    “Nah, it’s okay, I have plenty of time. How is your Charmander doing, anyway?”

    “He… just evolved,” said Mark faintly.

    “Oh. I see.” May looked at him for a second, then asked in a different tone: “How did you get him, anyway? You from Kanto?”

    “No, Sailance,” Mark answered.

    “Sailance? Sorry, I’m not into Ouen place names – I’m from Johto, you see. Originally came here to get myself a low-leveled Skarmory, my favorite Pokémon.”

    Mark nodded; the next city to the south, Alumine, was famous for having the biggest Skarmory nesting ground in the world just outside it. Then his brain told him there was something wrong with this statement combined with what he already knew.

    “Wait – did you get a Caterpie as your first Pokémon?”

    May sighed deeply. “No,” she said. “Professor Elm gave me a Cyndaquil. I actually picked her just because she was female, and females are so valuable – I seriously have no idea what I was thinking, because I hate Cyndaquil. She didn’t exactly like me that much either. Then, while I was training just north of Cleanwater, I found this guy and battled him. He had a funny-looking Pikachu, and I used Cyndaquil against him. Basically, she was losing, but then suddenly she evolved in the middle of the battle and beat his weird Pikachu. Well, I like Quilava – don’t ask me why I like Quilava but hate Cyndaquil – but as a person, I don’t think she will ever like me. Then, completely unexpectedly, the boy wanted to trade his Charmander for my Quilava, said it was level 15. So I thought, yeah, why not? And I actually gave that stupid little git my Quilava,” she spat the words ‘stupid little git’ very pronouncedly, “for a Charmander I had never seen that then turned out to be level five. And I got so angry (and stupid, mind you) that I actually tossed Charmander’s ball away and went to try and find that boy, who had of course just gone away with my Quilava. That’s actually the reason why I’m still here in Ouen, I’m trying to find that guy and get my Quilava back but I think I’m taking part in the league too since I’m here anyway. But I’m a bit worried about the Charmander, because either he’s there somewhere in his Pokéball, or he got out of it and…” Her eyes darted around as if she was wondering how to word what she was going to say, but finally just finished it with three words: “Well, it rained.”

    She suddenly looked at Mark. “What’s wrong? You’re so pale.”

    “Wha… er, no, it’s nothing,” said Mark quickly. “Sorry.”

    May’s right eyebrow ascended again, indicating that she didn’t really believe him, but she said nothing. There was an awkward silence

    “Well, I sorta need to challenge Rick, so… see you around,” she finally said, turning back to the Gym. Mark’s eyes flicked to the Pokémon center further down the street, and he nodded. “Yeah, I have to go too.”

    May shot a quick look at him. “Well, bye then, Mark.”

    “Bye,” he replied. As May stepped into the gym, Mark broke into a run again, hurrying even more to the Pokémon Center.

    Charmander belonged to May. There was no question about that; she had received him in a trade. But then again, she had thrown him away like a piece of garbage, just because he wasn’t high-leveled enough for her almightiness, and she had agreed to a trade which opposed the Agreement – trades were never supposed to happen without consulting the Pokémon first.

    Although she did seem to regret having thrown Charmander away.

    All the same, thought Mark, calming a bit down, I’m his trainer now. Now that part of the Agreement protects me, not her.

    He slowed down as he reached the automatic door to the Pokémon Center. It opened, and he walked hastily inside.

    “Nurse Joy…” he panted, ringing the bell and experiencing a déjà vu flashback from last night. A few seconds passed, Mark’s heart pounding against his chest; then the nurse came out of the back room.

    “What can I do for you this time?” she asked warmly.

    “It’s… it’s my Charmander… I mean Charmeleon…”

    “What about him?” she questioned.

    “He evolved, and he seems so different, he couldn’t stop it because he was so weak when it happened, I’m worried, oh please…” Mark took a deep breath while Nurse Joy’s face turned grave; he just handed her Charmeleon’s Pokéball.

    “Come with me,” said Nurse Joy, taking the ball and gesturing for him to follow her into the blue back room.

    “Before I start treating him, I’d like to talk to you,” said the nurse, looking deep into his eyes. “No matter how different he might seem after the evolution, he’s still the same Pokémon. Pokémon evolution is like growing up; when you’re a kid you have certain ideas about the world, but when you become a teenager they might change a bit – or a lot. For Pokémon who just evolved, it’s the exact same thing except that it happened all of a sudden rather than gradually as it would in a human’s case. If he had enough respect for you as a Charmander, he will still be ready to battle for you no matter what happens. He could be very different, or he could be pretty much the same – but there will definitely be a change. Your Pokémon is no longer a child, and you need to realize that. Treat him with care, and don’t give him a reason to dislike you. A reason for him to dislike you is not necessarily what would be a reason for you to dislike him; he’s basically a moody teenager whose limits should not be pushed. Do you understand?”

    Mark felt sick, but nodded.

    “Good. This might take some time, so please wait in the waiting room.”

    Mark walked into the fluffy waiting room with a knot in his stomach. He wondered who had the stupid idea of making the waiting room pink and red; these colors were absolutely inappropriate and way too happy. The gloom of the back room would’ve been much better.

    He was also not too fond of this Nurse Joy. Mark didn’t want a moody teenager whose limits should not be pushed; he wanted his friend back. The last thing he’d ever care about would be whether he would still obey.

    He flung himself into one of the sofas and for half an hour or so, he sat there with a blank expression, staring at an ad for Kantonian Airways. A red-haired boy who seemed to fit very well with all the fluffy pinkness decided to try to be funny by waving his hand in front of Mark’s face. He hated himself for smiling at it; it wasn’t funny at all.

    Finally, Nurse Joy came out of the back room, holding Charmeleon’s Pokéball. Mark immediately sprang up, running towards the desk.

    “He seems fine physically,” said the red-headed nurse. “You judge the mental part.”

    With a small bow, she handed Mark the Pokéball. He accepted it and walked out of the Pokémon Center.

    He stopped beside the building, hesitated, but then dropped the Pokéball to the ground. Charmeleon materialized from red energy as Mark caught the ball again.

    For a few seconds, they just looked into each other’s eyes. Mark had never noticed how awkwardly small Charmeleon had been as a Charmander; even now, evolved, he was smaller than an average Charmeleon.

    “Hi,” said Charmeleon finally in a low voice. Mark suddenly felt a lot better.

    “Hi.” Mark paused, leaning against the wall and staring into the air. “Sorry we didn’t get to postpone your evolution as we intended.”

    “It’s okay,” said Charmeleon, leaning up to the wall too and likewise not looking at Mark. “It felt quite amazing, actually.”

    “What was it like?” Mark asked, this being one of the things he had often wondered about although his voice wasn’t up to showing interest of any kind at the moment.

    “Everything just disappeared in a bright white light, first I thought I was dying… then I felt the power that was always hidden somewhere in my body burst out, I felt like… like I was melting. I had a kind of a vision of a Charmeleon walking towards me, pulling me away and taking my place… a twinge of pain at this point for some reason, I think... but immediately afterwards, I felt so much wiser and older. Then the white light faded, I saw you, but I was very weak after the evolution and lost consciousness…”

    He hesitated.

    “You know, it’s weird – when I think back at my Charmanderhood, it feels so… childish.”

    Suddenly he looked straight at Mark, meeting his eyes.

    “It’s strange… why did I just want you to train me back there? Why wasn’t I suspicious of you for a single moment? Not that I am now,” he added quickly, “but… I mean, what if you had been a bad trainer and abused me or something? It was a stupid thing to do, just accepting you as my trainer immediately because you told me you saved my life. Don’t take me wrong, I mean… of course you are trustworthy, but what did I know then? You could’ve been somebody… bad.”

    Mark had no answer to that. Charmeleon didn’t appear to be expecting one, either; it was more like he was thinking out loud.

    “Well, I was lucky. Really lucky.” Charmeleon smiled faintly at Mark and then turned away again.

    “Do you feel like doing some more junior trainer wiping?”

    They grinned at each other; both knew the answer.

    “Come on,” Mark said, holding Charmeleon’s Pokéball forward. The red beam shot out of it, dissolving the Pokémon.

    Mark hesitated for a moment. He had been in a rather hopeless situation earlier, mainly because his Pokémon’s attacks were kind of weak compared to the ones the Legendaries knew. The only one with a halfway decent attack was Gyarados.

    He remembered when he had seen the TMs and HMs at the Pokémart. He thought for a bit. Flamethrower was a TM. Earthquake was a TM. Return was a TM.

    One good TM for each of his Pokémon except Gyarados would probably give him the edge.

    Mark walked decisively towards the market. He went back to the shelf he remembered as containing the Technical and Hidden Machines. Ten years ago, Hidden Machines were really rare items. Now, you could buy them at Pokémon markets for around the same price as a TM – admittedly one-use only versions.

    He browsed through the selection of CD covers. Each of them had a photo of a Pokémon performing the attack it contained, the TM or HM number, and the attack’s name. He found TM35 for Flamethrower, TM26 for Earthquake and TM27 for Return; they were more expensive than the Potions and Pokéballs, but still relatively cheap. He made carefully sure to himself that these attacks would definitely work well; then he went to the counter to pay the punk dude.

    After he got outside again, he let Charmeleon out.

    “Charmeleon,” he said in a formal tone, “are you willing to accept this Flamethrower as your first Technical Machine move?”

    The Pokémon grinned. “I do,” he then said seriously.

    “Good,” said Mark. He opened the CD cover carefully; even though he thought he knew how to use a TM, he checked the instructions with the disc carefully just to make sure. He then took it, and touched Charmeleon’s head gently with it.

    The CD’s vibrant red slowly drained away from it, leaving it dull gray and useless and enveloping the Pokémon with a fiery glow. Charmeleon closed his eyes; the glow slowly sank into his skin.

    It was done.

    “Do you feel any wiser?” Mark questioned, not sure how exactly it was supposed to work.

    “Sure do,” said the Pokémon with a smile.

    “Great. You can go back into your ball, then.”

    Mark held forward the Pokéball; Charmeleon was drained into it as a beam of red light from the button hit him. He took out the second ball.

    “Sandshrew, go!”

    Mark’s Ground Pokémon appeared, curling into a scaly ball before even seeing whether he was in battle or not. Mark laughed.

    “Oh, come on, you aren’t going to get hurt, I’m just going to teach you a TM.”

    Sandshrew uncurled in an instant, looking unsurely up at his trainer. Mark felt a twinge of guilt; Sandshrew didn’t trust him. Of course he didn’t. Mark wouldn’t trust somebody who kept letting him get injured, either.

    “I’m… sorry about it all, you know,” he said in a low voice. “I didn’t mean to get you hurt so much.”

    “Shrew,” the Pokémon said unhappily.

    “Well… would you forgive me if I made sure you never lost a battle again?”

    Sandshrew didn’t answer.

    “At least, I’ve got a TM for you. You know what that is, right?”

    The armadillo Pokémon nodded faintly.

    “Yeah, and it’s Earthquake. That’s a very, very powerful attack. You’re going to do great with it.”

    Sandshrew had apparently heard of this devastating attack sometime among the Sandshrew he grew up with; he just nodded, quite a bit more confidently than he had ever looked before.

    “So…” Mark took out the second CD cover, opened it and picked up the disc, “stand still and concentrate.”

    Sandshrew closed his eyes; Mark touched him with the CD, orangeish brown this time, and like before, the color faded from the disc and instead started circling Sandshrew in the form of energy. It then seeped through his hide. The armadillo shook himself powerfully, then looked back up at Mark with his beady black eyes, perhaps a bit less hopelessly than before.

    “We’ll beat those junior trainers now, right?” Mark said meaningfully.

    “Sand,” said the Pokémon, nodding.

    “Good,” said Mark, smiling, as he recalled the armadillo Pokémon.

    Next off, it was Eevee. Mark took a deep breath.

    “Go.” The small brown furball emerged, looking curiously around and eying Mark intensely.

    “Eevee, you don’t know what a TM is, do you?”

    Eevee shook his head.

    “Well…” Mark found it so awkward to be explaining so many things to Eevee; why did he have to go through all this but not anybody else?

    “See,” he finally began, “Pokémon know moves. You know that, right?”

    The Pokémon nodded.

    “Yeah… and TMs… or Technical Machines… can be used to teach a Pokémon a move that it couldn’t learn otherwise.”

    “Vi?” the small Pokémon questioned.

    “Well, see – I take this disc,” he removed the Return TM from the cover, “and when I touch you with it, your cells will react to it and then a complicated process starts, and basically, after it you’ll be able to focus your power in a – er – new way.”

    Eevee nodded nervously.

    “OK, then…” Mark took the disc and lightly made it touch Eevee’s head. The Pokémon let out a small sound, but didn’t move. His eyes closed; white orbs of energy drained from the disc and started circling Eevee slowly. They went faster and faster, and finally faded into Eevee’s fur. He shivered, opened his eyes and moaned a little.

    “Are you okay?” asked Mark concernedly. Eevee nodded a bit, shook himself vigorously and appeared to feel better afterwards.

    “Now, uh… do you trust me?”

    Eevee nodded.

    “Then focus on it very carefully,” Mark said, not sure how to explain the attack. Eevee screwed his eyes carefully shut, concentrating.

    Slowly, a pinkish aura started emitting from Eevee. He let out a soft squeal of curiosity, probably feeling energy building up in his body.

    “Great!” Mark cheered. “This attack is called Return. You basically do that, and then tackle the opponent. Okay?”

    Eevee nodded nervously, the pink glow fading.

    “Ready to go to the Gym?” Mark asked carefully.

    “Vee,” said Eevee decisively, nodding.

    Mark was still not sure whether it would be right to use Eevee in battle.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2004
  4. ClowSui

    ClowSui look! a shiny dragon

    Nice chap, Dragonfree (gomen..)! I liked this chap., even though it's non-canon (or is it?). Anyways, yeah. Long story short, I like the chapter. The FR/LG TM thing was cool too.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2004
  5. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    I'm not 'free.

    Depends on how you define "non-canon" exactly, but if you mean it's like a filler, you're wrong because it's in fact very important (the thing about May).
     
  6. I liked this chapter. I like how you made it seem like Charmeleon was a teenager now and he looked back on his childish ways, making him seem more human. Once again it was cute how Mark had to explain to Eevee what a TM was. I can't wait until the next chapter, when he beats Rick most likely...
     
  7. Well then suicune looks like a feminime tracking dog(tell me 1 blue dog)
    'Kay Mr.Bossy that's his armor If you look at the 3 dogsyou can see Entei has armor in his face and Suicune on his head+,so it's stell not metal(phh armor made out of metal).
     
  8. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    "Looks" like a feminine tracking dog? Not to me. Give me an official source with a very clear "Suicune is a dog", and it might be worth editing my fic for. I'm afraid your impression of Suicune is not, seeing as this is my fic.

    I have no way of understanding the meaning of "so it's stell not metal(phh armor made out of metal)". Either you're saying it's "steel, not metal", which isn't exactly logical seeing as steel is a metal, or you're saying it's "still not metal", which I assume is your meaning. "phh armor made out of metal" is something I just don't get, so care to explain what you mean? Being armor made out of metal is pretty much my point...

    And you can't possibly tell me you don't see that Raikou is a tiger... (referring to "the 3 dogs")
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2004
  9. Ryuu

    Ryuu Guest

    Great chapter, Dragonfree!

    I loved it, all the descriptions about Charmeleon's mentality and TMs were awesome.

    Hmm...something tells me that Eevee's the one who'll scrape a victory for Mark...dunno why I get that feeling. :D

    Lol...I noticed that "naughty" part and I loved it! :D

    Hope you post the next chapter soon!
     
  10. You...are amazing! I can't even catch up to your work! Even though I've read the uneditied versions on the Tower {Which by the way, I'm retiring from. Boo-hoo -_-;}, this is much better! 10/10. Nothing wrong. Positievely phenomenal!

    ~ PMD
     
  11. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Never guessed you'd have an extra now, did you? This is a kind of a flashback as you'll see, like an extra short chapter that's a bit out of the storyline. Because it's in story format, it has a rating.




    -------
    RATING

    Violence: A rather short Pokémon battle, "Dragonfree style". Basically, probably more violent than your average Pokémon battle, but not really violent, at least not on my scale.

    Gore: None.

    Sexuality: None.

    Profanity: None.

    Other: Nothing special.
    -------



    ---EXTRA IV---

    The Full Story

    May watched intensely as Metapod went stiff and fell to the ground with a clunk. The Pokémon’s eyes closed heavily. The cocoon started rocking to the sides, and suddenly a large tear split through its shell. Blinding white light shone out of it. A crumpled, glowing shape squeezed itself through the rip. The bright light faded. On top of the green, lifeless shed was a small, dark blue creature. Slowly, it spread out the great, silky white wings that were folded around its body. A few flaps dried them; then the Pokémon took gracefully off into the air.

    “Free,” sounded the Butterfree’s cry.

    May was pleased; finally after all this training with a braindead, immobile cocoon, it had evolved into something of worth. Not the most statistically powerful Pokémon out there – Butterfree were very fragile, and it was more the exception than the rule if it survived a single blow – but very adept at strategically disarming its opponent with poisonous powders.

    “Like flying, Butterfree?” she asked fondly. This Pokémon would bring her many a victory. Her freshly caught Skarmory would, too. Unlike Cyndaquil. May had picked her first Pokémon only for being a very valuable female starter. But Cyndaquil was, and had always been, a very unattractive Pokémon to her. A hedgehog/anteater cross was the first thing that came to mind when she saw it for the first time. That long snout, squinted eyes, tiny legs…

    May had therefore, much to her own dismay, never been able to appreciate her starter, despite being female. Of course, Pokémon tended to pick up their trainer’s feelings towards them very quickly, and Cyndaquil had soon grown to despise her too. It was a no-win situation.

    “Hey! You there! Girl!” called a voice. May turned around. It was a boy of around twelve or thirteen, a little older than her, wearing red shorts with a lot of pockets and a black T-shirt. Long, fiery red hair surrounded his face, falling a bit into his big, gray eyes.

    “What?” she asked.

    “Could you battle me?”

    May shrugged. She held up Butterfree’s Pokéball lazily, recalling the butterfly Pokémon. “One on one?”

    “Go!” the boy said, throwing forward an odd, black and red type of Pokéball that May had never seen before. It opened to reveal some kind of a Pikachu.

    Yet, the Pikachu didn’t look right. The yellow, mouse-like body was familiar, just as the long ears – but not the blue, shiny balls that tipped them. Its claws also looked greatly extended from what she would have labeled as a normal Pikachu, and also shiny blue. Its tail was not the lightning-bolt shape it was supposed to be, but rather a jagged, black thread, ending in a blue triangle.

    “Pika,” it hissed in a deep-toned, menacing voice that could at the very most belong to a Pikachu with a very bad case of cold. Suddenly, bright blue waves of electricity started streaming between the balls on its ears.

    May knew her types. Electric attacks would be very effective on both Butterfree and Skarmory. She couldn’t risk that, even if that meant sending her starter out.

    “Cyndaquil, I choose you!” The Pokéball burst open, sending forward a beam of red energy that formed into May’s first Pokémon.

    On Cyndaquil’s shiny black back, flames sprouted out as she resentfully cried out her name. She didn’t like battling for May very much, but she still did. Probably she had some loyalty gene in there.

    The boy smirked. “Shock Charge!”

    May, despite having studied carefully up on Pokémon attacks, had no idea what Shock charge was supposed to be, except that it obviously was an Electric attack.

    The strange Pikachu got down on all fours with another menacing hiss and leapt towards Cyndaquil. She was caught in the middle of the electric current between its ears and froze with a pained scream of “QUIIIIL!” The Pikachu stood back up, grinning so that two vampire-like fangs glinted in its mouth. Cyndaquil’s flames died down in an instant as she fell down on her back, unable to move.

    “Darn it!” May drove her foot into the grass, biting her lip. Shock Charge seemingly paralyzed the target.

    “Slam!”

    The Pikachu nodded, wrapped its odd, thread-like tail around Cyndaquil’s immobile body, and slammed her between two rocks a few times, seemingly enjoying it.

    Suddenly, it let out a cry of pain, releasing Cyndaquil as she started glowing bright white. The boy stared wide-eyed at what was happening, but May wasn’t moved. She had expected it.

    Cyndaquil’s shape changed, her head becoming more distinguished from her body and turning into more of a triangle shape as it grew ears. Her stubby legs lengthened into fully-fledged paws. Her overall outline became more elegant and less chubby, just as her whole shape went larger. Finally, the glow subsided, replaced with an evolved Pokémon.

    “Quilava!” she announced as flames flared up on her head and backside, looking at May with newly-opened eyes. The girl found a certain feeling of trust for this Pokémon.

    “Quilava, Ember!” she commanded, clenching her fist. Quilava spewed a blast of brightly-colored flames at the unsuspecting Pikachu, leaving it scorched on the ground.

    May looked triumphantly at the boy. Without words, he recalled the Pikachu back into its Pokéball. He seemed to be about to leave when he suddenly asked: “Hey, I have a Charmander. Want to trade it for your Quilava?”
     
  12. Iveechan

    Iveechan <--- CHANTASTIC

    This is the only fic I read where the process of evolution was described from a Pokemon's pov and the second to describe how technical machines worked (I read one where TM's were something the Pokemon drank o.o). I always thought it was clever how May was Charmander's previous trainer... normally, protagonists have almost no flaws other than trivial things like being shy or naive. You almost never see one do an act of cruelty. I'd like to see how she reacts when Mark breaks the news to her about Charmeleon... and how Charmeleon will feel about her.
     
  13. Cephonis

    Cephonis Guest

    yes, very good extra. but when i first read may, i thought it was may from RS. stupid mistake.
     
  14. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Iveechan: Heh, I love doing things like that - imagining what happens to a Pokémon when it evolves and how TMs work. You'll see even more of those in this version than in the old one.

    Cephonis: I might add that I started writing this fic before Ruby and Sapphire became anything more than the mysterious "Pokémon Advance", so it's the dubbers who stole the name, not me.

    EDIT: Since I was replying anyway, I might as well tell you how chapter eight is going. I'm still on the first page, but it's already deep in the action because I want to get all those boring battles over with to get to the plottyness. I'm about to take a shower and afterwards I usually feel very inspired, so I'll probably write a lot afterwards. We're going out of town tonight, though.
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2004
  15. Daatingu

    Daatingu Guest

    Nice couple of chapters Dragonfree. You're getting chapters out amazingly fast, and that's like, good. So um, yeah :D Description was pretty good, I could visualize everything fairly well. Length was good too, I never lost intrest. Every syllable of praise I could give you has already been said in the posts of others, so I'll just say great job, and good luck on the next chapter ^^
     
  16. JT457

    JT457 Guest

    I really love this story and would like to see the next chapter badly. I wish I had a longer attention span so I could wait with out going nuts! I really like the way TMs worked. So far my favorite pokemon is Eevee. I wonder what its life was like before Mark found him.I have always wondered that about wild pokemon. I wonder what he will evolve into. I guess I will just have to wait to find.
     
  17. Heracross

    Heracross Custom User Title

    Nice chapter Dragonfree. I cought the bit that could be interpreted as naughty.XD I liked how Nurse Joy explained the psychological aspects of evolution and also how Mark had to explain TMs to Eevee. The extra was pretty cool too, I'm guessing the strange pikachu was some kind of plot device or that we'll hear more about it later. At least I hope we do.:p Keep up the good work.
     
  18. Ryuu

    Ryuu Guest

    Liked the extra. ^_^

    Now I see why May hated her Cyndaquil...

    I also liked Metapod's evolution, it sort of reminded me of Ash's Metapod.
     
  19. Eternal Rain

    Eternal Rain Guest

    This is better than the pokemon tower a little different,but still the best fic I read soo please write more!!!!!^_^
     
  20. heh... i just love the naughty part... it's cool
     

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