The Quest for the Legends, now with its ILCOETH revision!

[Riaf]

Flora's funny. Especially after thinking she's another Erika.

As Gyarados closed his eyes and turned greyscale, Meganium’s eyes glowed deep golden and a translucent yellow shield of energy formed all around it. Gyarados shot forth his attack, but the Light Screen absorbed most of the beam, rendering it relatively harmless before it struck the dinosaur.

Isn't there an "a", not an "e"?

And Victreebell wasn't so bad for me. Not that distgusting.

 

[Dragonfree]

Isn't there an "a", not an "e"?

In American English, it's an A, but in British English it's an E, meaning it's not wrong. However, it is inconsistency, since I've been writing the word the American way. It's probably because I realized a while back that my Word had decided I was writing British English and I was too lazy to change it since I spell a lot of words the British way anyway. Then it must have been auto-corrected.

 

[Lupin]

I've already re-veiwed this on your site, but I'll say it again here.

Brilliant chapter and it contains your best battle so far in my opinion. Flora is one of the funniest gym leaders I've seen .

 

[nintyweb]

I was busy recently and then when I went online I clicked on your site's link, because I like going there when I've got little else to do. In the updates I saw Chapter 26.

So I read it.

And I loved it.

Flora was pretty funny, the kind of character I would have expected to see in The Life of a Character. I also felt a bit like May with my post-25 chapter questions which you were about to come to at the beginning of Chapter 26. ^_^;;

The part I like most, however, was the fact that I was able to find an error. *grins evilly* That, with you, is a rarity.

and Sandslash grabbed the opportunity to stab all three of his right claws into Victreebel’s body.

Sandslash has only two claws on each arm. See?

But overall, good good. Keep it up.

Question to Mark: Do you ever plan on using Leta? Ever? Really? Do you want to say that in front of the cameras?
Another question to Mark: Do you feel like hitting me now?

 

[jirachiman876]

I was wondering why everybody was starting to review this again. Another chapter is out. I didn't notice until people started talking about Flora (who is a wonderfull character at that, very funny) I looked at your sig and to my surprised you had a new chapter out. I read it and very interesting. Your battles are the best that I know. The May part was kinda funny. Well not much to say since it's been said and I found no mistakes that weren't mentioned.
jirachiman out ;385;

 

[Yuugis Black Magician]

This chapter was....uh...yeah. I kind of found the dialouge to be thin in some areas, like how May just ups and believes Mark's whole story, and personally I find this whole Legendary storyline thin and tastless with the idea of Ash having a some what steady role in the story, as for Alan, eh...his whole background itself seems thin to me. Maybe its because I just finished reading three chapters of Ross' fic, but this chapter felt horribly stretched, may I suggest you stretched out your scenes and try to use less dialouge and explain in just detail itself. For a original region in which many of us have NO clue what so ever as to what it looks like.

The battle for this installment was again none to interesting. But that's just.

Chapter score~3/5

Series score~3/5

EDIT: But kudos on the Victribell battle, that was a clever idea with the Swallow/Stock Pile/ Spit Up combo, my only disliking of it wa the rule of four moves only during a Gym Battle.

 

[mewga]

to mark:what legendary are you going to use the master ball on?

 

[MewSP]

Heh, finally got around to reviewing.

This battle was really cool! Just had to say that.

The first part was a bit diffucult to follow, and the conversation with Mitch was a bit helter skelter to me. A good reason for that could be my reading it a 10:30pm after waking up at 6:00am.

After Mark saw May though, it returned to its usual 'why can't I read faster' thing.

Once again, nice battle! Keep writing, and... you know the rest.

 

[Mighty Hyena]

Spent around three hours reading this. Wow. You're a real trooper, with 27 chapters and that wordcount O_O I am impressed!

Very good story, and the plot is movin' along quickly. One thing about Chaletwo: he seemed slightly out of character, judging from the speech he gives to Mark and the Q-and-As. Also, wasn't it Chale2 who killed the kids, not Molzapart? Unless I read it all wrong, in which case, ignore me.

9/10. Great job! Keep it coming!

 

[The True Champion]

Your story is awsome and it so cool how you came up with a new region and everything.
I can't wait for the next chapter

 

[Dragonfree]

Dragonfree to nintyweb: Hmm, funny, I was so sure Sandslash had three. x_X

Mark to nintyweb: Er... I try to use all my Pokémon... it just happens that she is a bit weaker than the rest of my team at the moment. And umm, hitting you? *puzzled look*

Dragonfree to Yuugis_Black_Magician: Uh, May didn't believe Mark until Chaletwo spoke to her, which was proof so there wasn't much of a point in not believing it anymore, was there?

Ash does, in fact, not have a steady role in the story. (In the plan so far, he will actually never appear in the fic again - he might sometime, but if so, only briefly.) The Legendary storyline? Oh, ye unfaithful... do you really believe there isn't much, much more to it than what you know so far? I'm not predictable enough to make the rest of the fic simply "Mark went and caught all the Legendaries and saved the world and lived happily ever after", you know.

Now, I know that Ross is your favorite author and all and he uses a lot of details, but I just don't like detail. It's boring to write and frankly it's very thin. It makes vivid scenery and makes the style more beautiful, and sure, some description can be wonderful, even inspiring, but the fact is that it does absolutely nothing for plot or character development. Why do you even care what Ouen looks like? I tell you what you need to know, and a bit more to please the reader, but describing stuff when I could be developing the plot or characters isn't really something I want to do.

What do you have against the four-moves rule, by the way?

Mark to mewga: Er... I don't know. The one I'm having the most trouble with, I guess.

Chaletwo to Mighty Hyena: Speeches and normal conversation just aren't the same...

Dragonfree to all: Well, the next chapter is going to be good. Right now I'm on vacation in Switzerland and can't write, though. I've also started (the horror) a new revision. But the chapter will come.

 

[Yuugis Black Magician]

Dragonfree to nintyweb: Hmm, funny, I was so sure Sandslash had three. x_X

Mark to nintyweb: Er... I try to use all my Pokémon... it just happens that she is a bit weaker than the rest of my team at the moment. And umm, hitting you? *puzzled look*

Dragonfree to Yuugis_Black_Magician: Uh, May didn't believe Mark until Chaletwo spoke to her, which was proof so there wasn't much of a point in not believing it anymore, was there?

Ash does, in fact, not have a steady role in the story. (In the plan so far, he will actually never appear in the fic again - he might sometime, but if so, only briefly.) The Legendary storyline? Oh, ye unfaithful... do you really believe there isn't much, much more to it than what you know so far? I'm not predictable enough to make the rest of the fic simply "Mark went and caught all the Legendaries and saved the world and lived happily ever after", you know.

Now, I know that Ross is your favorite author and all and he uses a lot of details, but I just don't like detail. It's boring to write and frankly it's very thin. It makes vivid scenery and makes the style more beautiful, and sure, some description can be wonderful, even inspiring, but the fact is that it does absolutely nothing for plot or character development. Why do you even care what Ouen looks like? I tell you what you need to know, and a bit more to please the reader, but describing stuff when I could be developing the plot or characters isn't really something I want to do.

What do you have against the four-moves rule, by the way?

Mark to mewga: Er... I don't know. The one I'm having the most trouble with, I guess.

Chaletwo to Mighty Hyena: Speeches and normal conversation just aren't the same...

Dragonfree to all: Well, the next chapter is going to be good. Right now I'm on vacation in Switzerland and can't write, though. I've also started (the horror) a new revision. But the chapter will come.

Urrp...blast been a long time since I was last here, sorry, I may have been acting like a jerk when I wrote my last review. But anywho, glad another chapter is in the works. My beef with four moves a battle is that it is unrealistic, Gym battles aren't supposed to be that kind of an air tight challenge, but are more or less riddles you must pass before climbing to the top of the stairs to one's goal (i.e. a League, or something else).

 

[Dragonfree]

*shrugs* You don't think Gym battles are supposed to have a rule like that, but I think they should. Restrictions for official matches aren't unrealistic; they may not fit your image of what a Gym battle is supposed to be, but I like to think that just like the Pokémon league canonically requires you to have six Pokémon, it can restrict you to using four moves per Pokémon.

 

[Chareon]

;196;

Wow. *stares in awe and wonder* You ought to get some sort of prize for writing a fic this long and this good *Chareons highest compliment ever* I really did love this fic, it has all of the elements that I like in it. I cant wait for the next chapter, but I will wait patiently for as long as it takes, *sniffles* even if it takes two months...
Getting past the soppy part ^^ I think you battles are very creative and your story plot imaginitive. Keep up the good work!

;196; ~Chareon

 

[The True Champion]

I hope your working on chapter 27 because i am really looking forward to seeing what happens next

 

[Dragonfree]

Well, I'm kinda more working on a new revision. (I've technically almost finished chapter 27, but I'm horribly unhappy with how it came out; I'm going to start it over sometime when I'm in a better mood to write it, because I want it to live up to the UMR's version (which was one of the best chapters of the fic). I'll probably be using the UMR chapter more for reference next time...)

But speaking of that new revision, I'd like to ask you: Do you think I should a) concentrate on that, start a new thread and forget about this one, b) wait with the revision until sometime later and just continue posting new chapters, or c) replace the chapters in this thread once I've gotten to the point where the chapters involve the same events as before (which will be around chapter five since I'm making lots of changes in that stupid beginning)? As usual when I ask people for opinions on stuff like that, I've kinda halfway decided on c), but if there are major protests against that, I might reconsider...

 

[Magi of all]

I would prefer the B choice but whatever you descide is fine by me. Either way I can't wait for the next chapter you post(Be it 27 or a new chapter 1).

 

[The True Champion]

I agree with Maqi of All i would prefer B but whatever you want to do is good because i just want to see the changes or know what happens next

 

[Kaizer]

I'm sure everyone who's reading this would much rather you go with option B. As it is, it's your choice and I'll continue reading no matter what chapter you end up posting next.

 

[Riaf]

I'd say B. Seriously, this fic is as great as HK's.