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The Quest for the Legends, now with its ILCOETH revision!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Dragonfree, Apr 26, 2004.

  1. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Mark to Oblivion0807: Um, well... I guess I could have. It just didn't cross my mind. I guess I was too worked up at the time... Oh, darn, I could have avoided all that trouble...x_x

    Molzapart to Oblivion0807: Molzapart is my name, thank you.
     
  2. Kaizer

    Kaizer A Shadow of Darkness

    I don't see why anyone would be turned off from that chapter just because it doesn't have any real action.

    The backstory added there was just awesome. I love how much more of a bloodthirst we see from Scyther because that's part of what makes him so interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing the extra to learn more of the awesomeness that is him.

    Anyways, it was a great chapter and I didn't see anything wrong with it.
     
  3. The True Champion

    The True Champion Behold his Power

    Nice chapter scyther's past is so interesting i can't wait to find out more story i am posting late i will try not to next time. I am looking forward to the extra and i am sure it will be great. Keep up the good work!!!!!
     
  4. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Okay, I'm facing a bit of a dilemma now.

    I'm writing that extra, but it's not coming out as good as I'd have hoped. Additionally, it's more just slowing me down than anything else. I really want to write chapter thirty, considering it marks when I'll start writing completely new chapters instead of revising old ones. So basically, the question is, do you think I should keep pushing on with the extra or write the chapter and maybe include some of the more interesting details from the extra in the chapter?
     
  5. Lupin

    Lupin Legendary Pokémon Coordinator

    Well I like the extras so I would like to see that before the next chapter. They may not really add to the plot, but I like the back storys on the Pokemon in the story. And if I can remember correctly (can't be bothered checking) this is more about Scyther.

    So I say lets see that extra.
     
  6. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    What you need to know of that backstory and the interesting bits, though, has either already been told or will be told in chapter 30.

    It's really just a matter of time. Do you want a chapter, which I can write quickly, or wait for a long time to get an extra? =/
     
  7. Vampiric Knight

    Vampiric Knight Dance with the Devil

    I can wait for the extra. Take your time.
     
  8. Lupin

    Lupin Legendary Pokémon Coordinator

    Well if you put it that way, go for the chapter :).
     
  9. Psychic

    Psychic Really and truly

    Ahhhhhh! I missed another chapter! And this was the cool Scyther chapter I've been looking forward to for months!


    Anyways, I liked this chapter. It screamed 'filler', but despite that, I like the way you incorporated Scyther's past and his feelings. Stromblade and Shadowdart's appearance was pretty small and seemed almost insignficant, and it passed by too quickly. But the entire chapter seemed to fly by as well. It also didn't seem very 'animated', meaning that it didn't have this excited edge to it that your chapters usually have. I think it would have to do with the lack of description; I know this was about character backstory, but I think it could have been fleshed out and made even more interesting, especially the part where Shadowblade attacks Scyther.

    The way you incorporated the idea of the Pokémon and animal world was very interesting, and when you spoke of how it turned into a nuclear wasteland, I couldn't agree more: we are all going to kill each other using nuclear bombs. They will be our downfall in the end.
    Dragonfree: do you agree on this issue of humanity ending because of a nuclear war?


    Anyways, the chapter was good, but it could have been better, being made more angsty with more tension, as well as a bit more description.
    I'm excited for the next chapter in Stormy Town, and I'd like to see the revamped version of the part with Scyther getting, well, you know. LOL at cliché-ness of Stormy Town.

    ~Psychic
     
  10. Silverwing

    Silverwing Sea Ruby Trainer

    I say go for the chapter, but do whatever you want.
     
  11. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Sickie-Snookums :)P): One of them is Stormblade and the other Shadowdart, no Shadowblade. ;) And yes, Scyther is speaking my own opinion on humanity today.

    Heh, the scene with Scyther getting "you know" will definitely be fun. x3 I've been planning it for ages.
     
  12. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Whee, new chapter.

    Ladies and gentlemen, I am now officially no longer rewriting this fic.

    Yup, this is the equivalent of chapter 36, the last chapter I ever wrote of the UMR version, meaning that chapter 31 will be something never released before at all!

    In celebration, I'm throwing confetti everywhere and handing out free cookies to everyone.



    -------
    RATING
    Violence: None
    Gore: None
    Sexuality: Slight
    Profanity: None that would be censored
    Other: Contains excessive consumption of alcohol.
    -------


    Chapter 30: The Dragons of Ouen

    Stormy Town had once been a normal town that happened to have somewhat frequent thunderstorms. It had been lively and populated as shown when its formerly unofficial Gym was given official status. ‘Stormy Town’ had in fact only been a sort of nickname affectionately given to it by its resident Gym leader.

    However, around twenty years before the three soaked kids made their way towards the flickering neon lettering they could just barely read through the thick sheet of rain as “P.C”, the thunderstorms had begun to get more frequent. No one had been able to explain why. Scientists had claimed that it was just a period that would pass, but it never did, and as the city only got fewer and fewer hours of calm weather, the inhabitants had eventually given up. They had started referring to it as Stormy Town themselves, the rest of Ouen following. Many had moved away; a few had stayed but more or less stopped going outside. The Pokémon League had offered to move the Gym’s badge elsewhere, but the leader had promptly refused, saying that he would stay loyal to his city forever as long as the lightning did not strike him. He and later his son had fought to let the town keep its city rights, and the son had gotten Nurse Joy of Stormy Town to team up with him. Gradually the two of them had then taken over all services in the city. But despite their attempts, Stormy Town was now only visited by trainers who got their badges and then left as quickly as they could. The sad fact was that Stormy Town was dying.

    Bells chimed as the door to the small Pokémon Center burst open and Mark, May and Alan quickly squeezed themselves into the warm lit room despite that the desk by the opposite wall was abandoned. The door closed behind them as Mark threw himself panting into a red sofa, appreciating the pink Pokémon Center carpet like he never had before. Alan and May sat down too as the bell chiming died away, leaving the rain’s beating on the windows, the distant thunder and the kids’ breathing as the only sound in the room.

    “Good evening,” came a soft, polite voice. Mark looked up, eying the face of a red-haired nurse as she closed a door to a back room quietly and walked behind the desk. She gave a small bow. “Would you like me to heal your Pokémon?”

    Mark felt too exhausted to stand up, so as May and Alan prepared to hand theirs over, he simply detached his minimized Pokéballs from his belt and gave them to May. She rolled her eyes but didn’t object.

    After putting the Pokéballs into the healing machine, Nurse Joy sighed. “This building is in bad shape. Soon we’ll have to move the Pokémon Center services into the Gym too…”

    Mark nodded, not sure how to answer. May did not appear to be listening; she was raising her eyebrow at an advertising poster of some sort for the Stormy Town Gym, which bore the caption ‘LET THE SPARK OF YOUR MIND LEAD YOU THROUGH A SHOCKING EXPERIENCE’.

    “Well, either way,” Nurse Joy went on, “the Gym has free accommodation for trainers if you’re looking for that, and also a rather cheap restaurant. Sparky is a lovely cook.”

    May snorted. “The Gym leader’s name is Sparky and he trains Electric Pokémon?”

    The nurse giggled. “He sees the humour in it. He’s quite an odd fellow, but you’ll like him. Everybody does.”

    May didn’t look convinced, but Alan ignored her, standing up. “Well, it’s more or less dinnertime, so we should probably head over to the Gym, shouldn’t we?”

    -------

    The Gym was an extremely lively building and in such contrast with the look of the rest of the town that it almost seemed like a spaceship or gateway into another, happier world; the outside was painted in neon pink and blue while warm yellow light flooded through the large windows on the many floors. Of course, given how depressing Stormy Town was overall, something to cheer it up had to be a good thing, even if it was a bit extreme.

    The pink tiled floor made a slight squashy sound as the kids stepped on it and the automatic door closed behind them. Mark eyed a large door just ahead of them, set with navy blue letters that said, “CAUTION: BATTLE ARENA – DO NOT ENTER WHILE A BATTLE IS TAKING PLACE.”

    “Are you looking for food or just hurrying to battle and get out of here?”

    A short, thin man was walking down a staircase to the right while looking at them through stylish silver shades, wearing a blue T-shirt and shorts. The electric blue, wavy hair and small blue goatee looked dyed, but Mark wasn’t quite sure. A gleeful, friendly expression filled his young face.

    “Food for now,” Alan replied. “Sparky, right?”

    The man smiled. “Who else could it be?” His voice was the kind that seemed to constantly sound like he was in an internal laughing fit of some sort; it had that giggly element to it and sounded like he found everything highly amusing. “So are you going to battle later, or just coming to say hi?”

    “Maybe tomorrow?” Mark suggested, looking forward to getting to bed. May shrugged.

    “Tomorrow, why not,” Sparky replied cheerfully. “Shouldn’t you change your clothes, though?”

    “Eh, right,” Mark muttered, looking down at his waterlogged jeans. Alan nodded too. May merely gave a “Mmmh.”

    Sparky smiled. “Follow me,” he said, turning back towards the staircase he just came down.

    -------

    “Well, that guy was creepy.”

    “Creepy?” Mark asked. “Maybe a bit weird, but not creepy.”

    “He’s creepily weird,” May insisted.

    “I found him nice,” Alan just said, shrugging.

    They were walking back down the stairs from their rooms after changing. Sparky seemed to have disappeared for the moment, but when they came back into the entrance hall they caught a glimpse of him behind a half-closed door marked “RESTAURANT” at the other end of the room and hurried into it.

    Mark was surprised by the sudden change of atmosphere; the restaurant was rather dimly lit and cozy, with wooden furniture and not as much as a speck of the neon colors of the main Gym. Even Sparky himself had put a white cooking hat on his head and taken down his shades.

    “Sit down,” he offered, pointing them to a table by the right wall and reaching for a small notebook on a counter in the corner. “Would your Pokémon like to have something too? As long as they fit in here, of course,” he added. “You’ll get their food free – Pokémon aren’t very picky in my experience.”

    “Eh… our Pokémon?” Mark asked as he sat down. “Do Pokémon usually eat at restaurants?”

    Sparky smiled. “Usually not, but we can always make exceptions, can’t we? Especially since you’re the first staying guests in quite a while. Most trainers come here and run off as soon as possible like they fear being struck by lightning.” He giggled, like the notion of being struck by lightning in Stormy Town was absurd.

    “Um… All right.” Mark sent out all his Pokémon except Gyarados, shortly followed by Alan and then May. They quickly explained what was going on, but when it came to ordering, the Pokémon doubtfully asked for either raw meat or raw salad with nothing, the only exception being Scyther, who sat uninvited down on the chair beside Mark and ordered beer.

    Sparky raised his eyebrows. “Are you quite sure?”

    “I’m used to it,” Scyther just said.

    “And how are you planning to hold the glass, if I may be so bold?” Sparky asked, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

    “If you’ve got a large bowl or something… I’d like a lot of it…”

    “I see,” Sparky replied, scribbling it down. May and Alan both looked at Mark, who merely answered with a freaked-out expression, having no idea what to say.

    “Well, your food will be ready soon,” Sparky said, looking over them again and disappearing into the kitchen.

    It wasn’t long before the Gym leader returned with the drinks for the kids and then what looked like a big kitchen pot, putting it in front of Scyther.

    “Don’t drink too much of it all at once,” he said cheerfully before walking back into the kitchen.

    May and Alan stared at the pot; Mark subtly peeked into it to see it was around three-quarters full of a golden, fizzy drink. Scyther smelled it and smiled before plunging his whole head into it. Mark jumped, edging slightly further away from Scyther in his seat.

    “What the hell were you thinking?” May hissed at Mark, leaning forward across the table. “You should have stopped him from ordering it!”

    Mark glanced anxiously at Scyther, who still had his head completely subdued. “I just didn’t know how… And Scyther is used to that stuff, isn’t he?”

    The mantis’ head emerged from the pot; he shook his head, sending droplets of beer flying at the kids. May moved backwards from the table in disgust.

    “Refreshing,” Scyther mumbled. Mark looked at him; the Pokémon’s eyes had already lost some of their normal alertness, which was slightly worrying. Scyther’s head dropped back into the pot.

    When he came out again, he was actually getting slightly cross-eyed. “This reminds me of back when Rob and I used to go to the Gamesharked Skarmory… Great place, that… Crunchy… Caterpie…”

    He reached dizzily out with his scythe in a much too careless manner, coming very close to knocking down a candle. The mantis didn’t appear to notice this, continuing to lap up the drink for a second before looking at Mark.

    “Love is fake,” he announced randomly. “It’s all just a bunch of hormones that want you to have sex and kids… Sickle was nice… but love… it’s not…”

    The mantis closed his eyes. “Mmm… delightful… if you want a piece of advice from an adult, kids, don’t ever fall in love… Not worth it… Yes, very enjoyable… killing is kinda fun when you’ve been doing it for your whole life, you know…”

    “Scyther, you’re drunk,” May said bluntly.

    Scyther looked stupidly at her for a few seconds. “Whatever,” he then mumbled and collapsed on the table.

    “Oh dear,” Sparky said, entering the room with the kids’ food. “I guess Pokémon are rather sensitive to alcohol. One more lesson in running restaurants, isn’t it?”

    He turned to Mark as he gently laid the plates down on the table. “If I were you, I’d recall him.”

    Mark nodded and touched Scyther with his Pokéball to absorb him in, feeling slightly guilty for letting this happen. He mentally smacked himself. Stop being so responsible… It’s his problem…

    Scyther still stayed in the front of his mind during dinner.

    -------

    Mark decided to let Jolteon, Sandslash, Leta and Dragonair sleep outside their Pokéballs. Jolteon curled up on the end of the bed and Leta followed suit; Dragonair and Sandslash curled up on the floor.

    He lay down in the bed, pulled the blanket over him and was quickly fast asleep.

    -------

    Mark stood in the grass outside Green Town, people counting down all around him. All of a sudden, Chaletwo’s grayish shape stood in the middle. Two immeasurably bright eyes opened and the world turned black as horrible pain took over him…

    -------

    Jolteon knew he was unbeatable. He wouldn’t have to worry about the Dugtrio and its menacing three heads, glinting evilly at him with six small eyes.

    The heads started moving up and down, gaining speed until the ground trembled. Jolteon suddenly felt weak and powerless against it and his eyes hopelessly snapped open. He blinked, discovering that the earthquake had only been the movement of the blanket as Mark flailed around and mumbled in his sleep. Jolteon looked at Leta; she had not noticed it and was still fast asleep. He quietly stood up as his trainer stopped moving, tiptoed over to his head and gently touched his forehead; it was cold and sweaty.

    Jolteon stroked his fur against Mark’s hand, hoping to give him some comfort. He was soon fast asleep again.

    -------

    Chaletwo’s eyes slowly shut again as the pain faded away. The colors of the world returned to normal, but they were no longer outside Green Town, but on top of the mountain above Stormy Town. Black clouds loomed over them, releasing bolts of lightning every now and then that lit up the town far below.

    Chaletwo stared down at the city, his expression showing fear and regret, bordering on despair.

    I sense power,” said his telepathic voice emptily.

    “The thunderstorm?” Mark said as Chaletwo showed no signs of being about to continue. The legendary shook his head.

    No… It is a Pokémon’s power… But yes, it is what is behind this thunderstorm.

    “Raikou? Zapdos?” Mark suggested.

    Rick has them captured,” Chaletwo replied, still staring down at the town.

    “What is it then?”

    It could only be a Pokémon nobody knows exists…” Chaletwo said softly. Mark was about to say something when the legendary added in a whisper, “It’s Thunderyu, the first Dragon of Ouen.

    “So you know of it?” Mark asked blankly.

    Of course I know, I created it!” Chaletwo suddenly snapped, looking at Mark.

    “Er…” Mark paused. “What?”

    Chaletwo sighed. “I was naïve… Way back when Mew and I were creating the Pokémon, Mew wanted to create all the legendaries… and I thought it was unfair…

    The legendary shook his head hatefully. “Kanto, Jotho and Hoenn all had three elemental legendaries… so I made three for Ouen on my own, three dragons who loathed each other more than they loved life itself…I sealed them away and put them to deep sleep where Mew could not find them, and intended to bring them out later and show Mew that I could create and be in control… that I could rule the world without Mew… but I never woke them up, and in all the hassle about preventing the War of the Legends, I forgot that my powers that were keeping them asleep were fading… and as soon as they are fully conscious, they will break out of their chambers and do whatever it takes to destroy each other…

    Chaletwo looked down at the mountain they were standing on. “Thunderyu is right under our feet, and he is waking up… and the worst part is that there is no way we can reach him until he breaks out…

    He looked at Mark again. “Ouen is in grave danger.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2012
  13. ~Phanpy~

    ~Phanpy~ Guest

    I liked the chapter, well written. Sparky seems like a bit of an odd fellow though, but maybe thats just me :)

    ROFLMAO. That is pure gold... hormones hehehe

    Also, i like the way you ended the chapter on that cliff hanger, can't wait to see the next one!

    ~Phanpy~ ;231;
     
  14. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner Peace to the Mountain

    Drunk Scyther >>>>>> The world. Period. ^___^

    I'm sorry, but Sparky sounds hot, or at the very least, like he would be hot if he was a foot or two taller, even if he is somewhat on the weird side (like that has ever deterred me before :p ). I think his voice would get on my nerves after a while, though...

    Automatically, I am very interested in Thunderyu. But, of course I am. Thunderyu is a dragon. Dragons kick butt; I've known that for many years. I'm thoroughly of the mind that this dragon is no exception.
     
  15. Magi of all

    Magi of all Guest

    Three cheers for a drunk Scyther. Either that stuff was strong or scyther is no tuse to it any more. Amongst all this, the plot thickens. I take in Suicune is taking a back seat to our more important problem.

    Really like the region your creating. Most of the towns seem interesting and origional. Kudos for that.

    Oh, yeah. Can I be adde to the PM list
     
  16. Demy

    Demy Well-Known Member

    that is something you don't read every day a drunk Scyther
     
  17. Seiryu

    Seiryu Resident dragon

    Okay, yet another new reviewer is here to...review. Yay! XP *munches on cookie* After probably nearly one and a half years of closet reading, I've finally decided to share what I think.

    Put simply, this story is one of the best I've read, both here and on fanfiction.net. And yes, while I do enjoy how you're handling a plotline that's otherwise been chewed up and spit out in the most horrible ways by newbies/n00bs, it was the characters that drew me in. They're...excellent. Every one of them.

    I like how Mark isn't overly assertive and not exactly the best when it comes to thinking on his feet. May is probably the most meh-ish of the characters thus far, IMO, but still very good and believable. And Alan...well, I really like how you handled him being the son of an unbelievably famous person. Exactly how I would envision such a relationship.

    But, like practically everyone else who's read this fic, my favorite character would have to be Scyther. Funny how the angstiest character gets the most love here, isn't it? Anyways, I absolutely adored him from the first time he appeared, and that quote has stuck with me ever since then. "Death is not to be feared, for it is the only thing that we all have in common..." Simply...delicious. And the events in this chapter only served to add on to that awesomeness.

    And speaking of this chapter...well, Sparky seems like an interesting character, though the "perpetual laughing fit" type of voice reminds me a lot of Wattson. >..>;; Stormy Town seems like quite the memorable little town, too. Also, like Sike, I can tell from a mile away that Thunderyu is going to be a really awesome creature. And like Sike, I am a really huge dragon fan, and that alone must practically be the understatement of the year.

    However, there is one thing. It seems like we've been seeing a whole lot of Scyther ever since the events in Green Town. I'm not complaining or anything, and I'm sure you've got it covered, but I just have to wonder when the other pokémon are going to step up and steal the spotlight away from him for a while. I especially hope to see more of Leta and Charizard (though the latter is mostly my bias speaking XD).
     
  18. Meganium

    Meganium Well-Known Member

    This was a good chapter that seems like its going to lead to some interesting events. I mean how could a chapter with a drunk Scyther be bad. It can't period. Can't wait for the arrival of the dragon and a battle with Sparky. Keep goin, this is a great story.
     
  19. The True Champion

    The True Champion Behold his Power

    This was a sweet chapter and very orginal i nver read about a pokemon being drunk not to mention scyther being drunk that was so sweet. It was great talking about love and how it was just hormones its good that scyther is letting it all out in a way i guess. But the best was the forsighting of Thunderyu and i can tell its gonna kick *** like what dragon isn't awsome not to mention a Dragon with an element. I can't wait until Mark fights him and it is cool the way you had Chaletwo get in touch with Mark. I am guessing that the battle with Thunderyu will probaly be after the gym battle or the gym battle is stopped because Thunderyu broke out of his chamber and Mark rushs off to fight it. I can't wait to see what happens and when the other dragons break out of their chambers. Keep up the good work!!!!!
     
  20. Leon

    Leon Well-Known Member

    ^_^ Drunk scyther, man thats funny, cant wait till the appearence of thunderyu and the other dragons, do you have any pics of the dragons?? anyways the whole story is great, keep up the excellent work!!
     

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