1. We have moved to a new forum system. All your posts and data should have transferred over. Welcome, to the new Serebii Forums. Details here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. We have received legal notice about the sharing of certain images for Pokémon Sword & Shield. Due to this, we have a new rule. If you post said images, you will be removed from the forums until 15:00 UTC on November 14th 2019. We have also killed the leak discussion threads for the time being. Thank you for your patience during this. If you have any queries, use the contact form
  3. Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders
    Dismiss Notice

The Quest for the Legends, now with its ILCOETH revision!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Dragonfree, Apr 26, 2004.

  1. metagrossEX

    metagrossEX Guest

    I reread chapter 1 and got confused. Ash saw mew and mewtwo etc. less than 999 years ago-alot less. So how can mew etc. be alive??
     
  2. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Oooh... smart one. Indeed, the prologue is in fact set 972 years before the animé and therefore Mewtwo's creation. I was starting to think nobody would notice.

    Hmm... what is that smell? I think it's plot...
     
  3. Heracross

    Heracross Custom User Title

    Woah, I must've totally missed that. The prologue is almost a thousand years before the amimé? *Goes back to re-read*
     
  4. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Chapter one is exactly 999 years after the prologue. The fic (meaning chapter 1 and on) is set 27 years after the animé (although I haven't mentioned that yet, I believe).
     
  5. Heracross

    Heracross Custom User Title

    Oh, that explains why missed it. Heh, OK now I feel dumb.:p Well with that new and somewhat confusing piece of information I'm only looking forward to reading the rest even more than before.
     
  6. Eternal Rain

    Eternal Rain Guest

    I just love this fic too bad you're not updating at www.thepokemontower.com
    but are you going to finish the type chart???????I am SilverWind Jolteon in every website possible.Yay!
     
  7. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Stop advertising The Pokémon Tower; it's a great site and all, but you aren't supposed to be posting links to it just when you're talking about it.

    And as I've already said, I'm rewriting the whole thing so the UMR, which is at the Tower, is not about to be updated until the rewrite is finished. Stop nagging me about it; my decision is final.

    And yes, I'll finish The Type Chart, when I feel like writing it.
     
  8. 45flight

    45flight Guest

    I just read this and I hope you hurry up and finish. This is one of the best fics I ever read. And you describe how everything happens with pokemon. Please hurry and finish the next chapter.
     
  9. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Please don't rush me; I hate being told to finish quickly. I'm really getting into writing mood, so I'll probably finish chapter eight pretty soon. I've written three pages of it so far, including some plottyness. Mwahahaha.
     
  10. IdiotNESS

    IdiotNESS Guest

    Hahaha! lol!

    He's offering a trade of Charmander for Quilava? Teehee! That trainer is sooo stupid, who else would want to? But, you're eeevill!!! I think I know what your'e going to do with that. And, just so you know, go on with it. It's a great way to bring out May's character. I happen to be a supporter of using small happenings to strengthen your story. If anyone plays RPGs, you probably know what I'm saying. An encounter with a little skunk can seem stupid. I mean, anyone can beat that but if you attack...pppssss! Right in the face! It doesn't do much but anyone could smell you and prepare for your coming.

    One other thing, though, I think status changes are underdeveloped in many fics. Paralysis could be described with a little bit of sparks playing acorss someone (Pokemon paralysis is caused by electrical currents disrupting the electircal impulses sent by nerves, right? Correct me if I'm wrong). Poison could be described through discoloration of the body. Just a tip.

    Great job Dragonfree!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 13, 2004
  11. guiltysparkzz

    guiltysparkzz AKA mattgcn

    The wierd Pikachu thing

    Dragonfree's edit: Don't give away plot hints, darn it! <_<

    This is from Dragonfree's gallery, so her sprite and I in no way claim it. Uh, I used your hosting though, Dragonfree. Edit my post if that's bad for bandwidth or something. I knew I recognised that description. Where did he get that *CENSORED* (or is it?) Pika*CENSOR*
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 14, 2004
  12. Um...the hell?

    Anyway, Dragonfree, this is a great fic. This thing just radiates plot...all kinds of plot and description. Although I wish that you hadn't made Mark (that is his name, right?) catch so many Pokemon so quickly. And if he knows so much Pokemon-ish, how come we can only understand what Charmander/meleon is saying?
     
  13. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    IdiotNESS: Remember that the whole thing's been written already, so I've already decided exactly what's going to happen and am not changing that, but a part of it might surprise you. ;)

    mattgcn: Don't give things away! <_<

    EonMaster Zero: I admit I kinda rushed his Pokémon captures, seeing as in just a few more chapters, he'll get his fifth and sixth team member, and at chapter 36 where the old version was ditched, he still had six. <_< Well, it's probably because I decided his team of six at chapter two or something in the original version, and then I went and made him get them all and never bothered to make him catch anything after that. >.<;;;; Major events such as Pokémon captures are still intact from what they were originally, so they're still like that, although I've never really thought about it before.

    But the Pokémonish thing has an explanation. See, I only translate directly when the Pokémon are really saying something. Random battle cries from enemy Pokémon aren't saying anything, at least nothing that matters; at the very most they could be insults or something like that. I don't bother translating it all. As for Eevee, read this quote more carefully:

    Therefore, Mark gets what Eevee is saying from the context and his bodily expressions (which are a big part of the language of Pokémon), not a word for word meaning that can be translated. Sandshrew hasn't been very talkative, but when he's said something, it's always been obvious what he was saying so I didn't feel the need to actually translate it (such as '“Sand,” said the Pokémon, nodding', where the context easily tells you that he's agreeing to what Mark was saying in some way or another). You're going to see real conversations with Eevee and Sandshrew later, and then they will be translated.
     
  14. ...O_O Sor..ry...

    I...um, damn, what was I gonna say?


    Oh, yeah!

    I like the fic nonetheless, but I really wish you hadn't mentioned Chapter Thirty-whatever it was. At this rate, that's like a year away. -_-'
     
  15. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Well, for one thing, my chapters were about half the length of what they're now, so even though I've added a lot in, it's going to be like chapter 25 or something in the new version. For another thing, it takes a bit of time for this fic to start, but when it does, I start enjoying every word I write and getting chapters out quickly. So it won't be as long as you think.
     
  16. Aha...that's cool. At least people are reading yours. I guess I'm not so popular around here. Not just my fic, but even my RPGs and other threads that have perfectly valid subjects that are scattered around the forums aren't even replied to. What's wrong with me?
     
  17. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    I've often felt like that too. When Wailord_Fan did a comparison thingy of all the 5-star fics' replies compared to views, mine was the bottom one, with the least number of viewers who also replied. Then there was suddenly an explosion sometime in the middle between chapter six and seven or something like that, and I got my first ever full page of pure reviews. Dunno if the view count also raised so much, but at least I think my ratio got a lot better.

    It will probably happen sometime, when your fic's gotten more chapters.
     
  18. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    And it's chapter eight time! It's getting to the plottyness! So get ready, everybody...


    -------
    RATING

    Violence: Pokémon battles in the more violent end, but not that violent, though.

    Gore: None.

    Sexuality: None.

    Profanity: None that I remember.

    Other: Well... involves cloning and hints of Pokémon abuse.
    -------



    Chapter 8: The Master of the Clones

    “Do you mind if we just have a one-on-one?”

    Mark pronounced this question nervously to the junior trainer wearing all the neon green. He was still clearly in a very bad mood, but nodded curtly.

    “Go, Arcanine.”

    A huge creature burst out of the Pokéball. Its overall shape was rather dog-like, but the gleaming orange fur with jet-black stripes looked more like a tiger. It shook back its cream-colored mane, letting out an ear-splitting roar as it swished a bushy tail. Its huge black claws dug into the floor as it snarled towards Mark.

    “Uh… is Arcanine a Legendary?” Mark asked, confused.

    “It isn’t, but it was considered one in ancient times,” said the junior trainer simply. “Let’s just get this over with.”

    Mark hesitated, but then took out Gyarados’s ball. It was better to be safe than sorry.

    “Go!” he yelled. The sea monster formed into the pool, letting out an even louder roar. Even the Arcanine appeared to flinch for a second, but then it started growling again.

    “Dragon Rage,” Mark just said.

    Gyarados threw his head forward, blasting out dark flames. The Arcanine leapt skillfully out of the way and countered by leaning down low for a second and then leaping at Gyarados at incredible, unavoidable speed. The sea serpent roared in pain, darting forward and grabbing Arcanine’s tail in his mouth. The giant canine froze for a second; then it swung around and fired a great jet of fire from its mouth into Gyarados’s face. He retaliated with another blast of dragon flames, which enveloped the Arcanine. The great dog howled in pain, turned to Gyarados again and attempted to release another cloud of flames, failing. Then with a final yelp, it lost its balance and its whole majestic shape dropped down to the floor, defeated.

    “Arcanine, return,” said the trainer, the dog Pokémon dissolving into red energy and being sucked into the Pokéball. “Go on.”

    Mark nodded, walking across the arena to the nurse, and after getting his Pokémon healed, through the door to the purple-haired trainer.

    “You back?” he asked enthusiastically. “Great! Go, Raikou!”

    Mark grinned. “Go, Sandshrew!”

    The armadillo Pokémon didn’t curl up upon entering the battle this time. His eyes fixed on Raikou, he awaited the order he knew he would get…

    “Earthquake!”

    The junior trainer’s eyes widened in surprise as Sandshrew rose to his hind legs. Slamming back into the ground, the small Pokémon made the floor ripple like liquid. The attack was unavoidable; Raikou jumped over one wave but landed just as the next one struck. As the floor rippled under the Legendary’s paws, it shivered and released some electric sparks.

    Sandshrew rose up for the second time, preparing to perform the attack again, but the junior trainer quickly countered:

    “Raikou, Crunch!”

    Immediately, the tiger leapt forward, grabbing Sandshrew in its mouth like the other time and starting to squeeze.

    “Scratch!” Mark ordered desperately. The small Pokémon dug its claws into Raikou’s jaw, and the tiger released him with a painful roar. Sandshrew looked rather weak and battered as he stood on his hind legs again, preparing for a final Earthquake. Smashing his paws into the ground, the floor rippled and Raikou, with a weak “Raiii”, lost its balance and collapsed.

    “Shrew,” said the armadillo wearily, yet with a tint of pride. He had worked hard enough for now; Mark recalled him.

    “Go, Entei!” yelled the trainer, hurling forward the black and red ball. A reddish-brown, bulky, lion-like Pokémon burst out of the Pokéball with a deep, loud roar. A star shape surrounded its face, yellow at the top, white at the bottom and red at the sides. A grayish-white cloak that reminded Mark of a cloud or smoke kept changing its form on the Pokémon’s back. It was Mark’s favorite out of the Legendary Beasts of Johto.

    He observed Entei while he thought about which Pokémon to choose. Entei’s eyes looked back at him, painfully robotically. Mark bit his lip; he was growing to despise that Rick person before even seeing him, just for doing that to Legendary Pokémon. Even if they were clones, it was wrong...

    “Go, Gyarados!” he said, throwing the ball that held the sea monster. Gyarados formed with his usual opening roar. Entei started roaring back at him. For a few seconds the battle was a roaring contest between the two Pokémon; then Entei’s trainer shouted: “Sunny Day!”

    The lion lifted its head towards the dome roof and closed its eyes in deep concentration. The sun appeared to get clearer and hotter.

    “Dragon Rage!” Mark commanded. The trainer gasped; Gyarados formed crimson flames deep in his throat and fired them at the lion. Entei leapt to the side, dodging the attack easily.

    “Entei, Flamethrower!” roared the junior trainer. The Legendary inhaled deeply and sent a cloud of flames towards the sea monster. Gyarados quickly countered with another Dragon Rage. Mark knew dragon flames were stronger than normal flames, but seeing as Entei was a Fire Pokémon, he wasn’t sure Gyarados would claim victory now.

    He watched worriedly. The blasts still just met in the middle where the flames mixed and formed a huge orb of fire. The two Pokémon did their best to keep up the attack, and neither appeared to be stronger than the other.

    But Gyarados was much higher-leveled than his opponent, and after a few seconds, Entei had to breathe. This gave Gyarados the chance to engulf the lion in dragon flames. Another deep roar like the one Entei had started the battle with sounded; when the fire cleared, Entei lay on the ground, defeated.

    “Return,” said the junior trainer disappointedly. “Go, Suicune!”

    Mark held his breath as the Legendary he had seen the night before at the Lake of Purity appeared out of the ball. The slender blue body was the exact same, as was the unique crystal on its head and the white, rippling ribbons. But the expression was not. Even though he had only seen Suicune at a distance, he was positive that the eyes hadn’t been so robotically blank.

    Gyarados’s eyes were however very filled with emotion. He stared at the Legendary with a mix of despise and anger.

    “Why?” he growled. Suicune, of course, was a brainwashed clone and therefore showed no reactions except assuming a fighting stance. The purple-haired trainer stared at Gyarados, puzzled.

    “It… it can talk?” he asked, for the first time getting distracted from the battle. Gyarados paid no attention to this comment; he just closed his eyes hatefully in concentration.

    What happened now was amazing. The dark blue of Gyarados’ armor faded into gray. When he had turned completely grayscale, he suddenly opened his eyes with an ear-splitting roar, and two narrow, bright red beams of energy shot from his eyeballs at Suicune. The Legendary staggered backwards, looking to be in serious pain, started to sweat uncontrollably and finally fell unconscious to the floor with a weak “Cune…”

    The junior trainer’s jaw dropped.

    “What the heck was that?” he breathed in disbelief.

    “I… I don’t know,” said Mark, just as stunned. Gyarados turned his back at the Legendary and Mark sensed he wasn’t wishing to talk about reasons for anything.

    “Well… looks like you won,” said the trainer, staring at the fallen Beast. A pool of water was forming around the place where Suicune lay.

    The trainer took out one of those keys and opened the door as Mark recalled Gyarados.

    “Go on.”

    Mark nodded and went through the door as the trainer recalled Suicune. The nurse healed Mark’s Pokémon in the Pocket healer.

    The next arena looked identical to the other two, but the trainer there was a little boy wearing a very awkward, formal-looking suit. He ran his fingers slowly through his blond hair.

    “Hi,” he greeted dryly. “You here for a battle? I’m warning you – it won’t be easy. Two on two.”

    The boy took a minimized Pokéball from inside his suit, maximized it and threw it forward.

    “Go, Ho-oh!”

    What came out of the Pokéball was absolutely huge. It was a gigantic, crimson bird, almost three times as tall as the boy. It stood on big, pitch-black talons and had peculiar, mask-like markings around its eyes. The Pokémon opened its crooked beak and let out a majestic, fierce cry. Then suddenly, it pointed its head upwards, the golden, crown-like crest on its head swaying back, and stretched out its broad, colorful wings, taking off into the air.

    Mark considered his options, knowing that he was doing exceptionally well against this Gym just because he knew so much about the Legendaries. Ho-oh was a Fire Pokémon, but capable of using very varied attacks. It would be a risk, but Mark plucked Gyarados’ ball off the Pokéball belt.

    “GO!” he shouted. The sea monster emerged into the pool with his usual opening roar.

    “Dragon Rage!” Mark ordered quickly, not wanting to risk an Electric attack making contact with Gyarados.

    “Sunny Day,” said the boy calmly. Ho-oh closed its eyes and took a fiery glow as the sunlight shining through the dome intensified greatly. Mark shielded his eyes from the light with his hand. Gyarados breathed out a blast of crimson flames at the rainbow-colored bird and Ho-oh screeched in pain.

    “And now, Solarbeam!” commanded the boy. Ho-oh obeyed, forming an orb of sunlight in its beak and firing a white-hot beam of light at Gyarados. He roared as the beam struck him, leaving a burn mark on one of the segments of his body. He countered with another Dragon Rage, which turned out to be too much even for the Legendary; Ho-oh let out a weak cry and then landed exhaustedly on the floor.

    “Return,” said the trainer disappointedly. “Lugia, do it!”

    Mark felt his stomach twitch upon hearing the name of his favorite Pokémon of all; he felt both excited to see it and very pained to know that he’d just see a clone. The red and black Pokéball opened in mid-air, releasing the Pokémon it held.

    If Ho-oh was huge, Mark didn’t know what Lugia was. The bright white draconic creature stood on powerful legs, stretching its somewhat hand-like, feathered wings out to a wingspan of what looked like almost six meters. Combined with the long neck, the Pokémon itself was probably over five meters tall. Growing back from the eyes were the two black spikes that Mark had always loved the most about this Legendary.

    “Gyarados, Dragon Rage!” Mark ordered quickly. Gyarados wouldn’t last long, especially not after having been hit with that Solarbeam previously, but at least he’d be able to dish out some damage with the most powerful attack in his whole team.

    “Lugia, Psychic!”

    Lugia started glowing with a bright blue aura as Gyarados charged dragon flames in his mouth. The sea monster unleashed the attack a moment before the Legendary; Lugia got hit hard by the flames, but then fired a blue blast of psychic energy at Gyarados. He roared in pain and collapsed weakly.

    “Return,” Mark muttered. He considered his possibilities. Despite what some people thought, Lugia was a Psychic Pokémon rather than a Water or Dragon one, so Charmeleon wouldn’t be at a disadvantage. With it this sunny, the lizard should win.

    Mark made his decision and grabbed the Pokéball with his hand.

    “Go, Charmeleon!”

    Mark’s evolved Pokémon came out. He appeared to flinch slightly at the sight of Lugia’s size, but quickly came back to his senses.

    “Flamethrower!” Mark blurted out.

    “Hyper Beam!” the trainer said, gritting his teeth.

    Lugia started charging a white orb of energy in its mouth.

    “No, wait, Charmeleon…”

    Lugia threw its head backwards before firing the beam.

    “DODGE!!!”

    Charmeleon jumped swiftly out of the way, just before a bright white beam smashed into the floor just where he had been. Some of the floor seemed to melt.

    “Flamethrower, now!” Mark ordered. Lugia was worn-out after using all of its energy in a Hyper Beam and couldn’t counter when Charmeleon breathed a tongue of flames towards it. With a loud cry of pain, Lugia collapsed.

    “NO!” shouted the boy. He recalled Lugia disdainfully.

    “Go on, then,” he muttered, opening the door. Mark went through it and healed his Pokémon nervously. The previous match had been a close call.

    This arena was also identical to the previous ones. The trainer wore a lab coat and glasses and had long, black hair.

    “You’re going down,” he said confidently. “One on one. Go, Mewtwo²!”

    “Mew… what?” Mark questioned. The Pokéball opened to reveal a strange Pokémon.

    It was a light purplish blue all over. Its head was somewhat catlike with two horns pointing straight upwards in place of ears, but the overall shape was slightly humanoid. The whole body was so unnaturally thin, though, that Mark wondered if it had ever eaten a single morsel. He could count the ribs under the furred skin, and the long arms and legs had three bony fingers or toes each. Its eyes were small, white and had no pupils. Finally, absolutely contrasting with the weakish appearance of its body, it had a very long, muscular, dark blue tail ending in a round shape.

    It suddenly dawned on to Mark what it was. It was Rick’s experimental super-clone, but he had in fact ‘cheated’ – he made a super-clone of a super-clone. Super-clone².

    “Go, Gyarados,” Mark said nervously, sensing that this would be a difficult battle. The blue sea monster emerged from the Pokéball into the pool. Gyarados let out his battle roar.

    What is my task?” said Mewtwo²’s voice weakly inside Mark’s head. He couldn’t help feeling horribly sorry for it.

    “Fight,” the scientist ordered. He didn’t need to say anything else. Mewtwo² started glowing bright blue as the same glow took over Gyarados’ shape.

    “Gyarados, Dragon Rage!” Mark commanded desperately, but Gyarados couldn’t do anything that wasn’t Mewtwo²’s will now. Slowly, he rose up into the air, drawing closer to the ceiling.

    No,” said the weak telepathic voice as Mewtwo²’s glow started fading and Gyarados got lowered back towards the pool. “I… don’t… want…” Mark saw the clone’s body starting to sweat, like it was making a great effort.

    “Fight,” the scientist growled again. It was like Mewtwo² was zapped with electricity or something; its body went stiff for a second, but then it started glowing blue again. At that very moment, Gyarados unleashed a blast of crimson fire which enveloped Mewtwo². A telepathic scream of pain could be heard; then the clone was left dazed and dropped down, fainted. Mark felt a twinge of guilt.

    “Return,” muttered the scientist. “Face Rick, kid,” he then said, reaching into his pocket and taking out the key to the Pokéball door. It opened slowly.

    Mark went through the door and got his Pokémon healed, noticing that this arena was about double the size of the previous four. But the Gym Leader was nowhere to be seen.

    “Rick went to the basement,” the nurse explained. “You’ll just wait here, won’t you? I need to go now.”

    Mark nodded, and the nurse hurried out through a side door.

    Mark sat down on a bench. The basement? Where was the basement? What was Rick doing there?

    He stood up, walking backwards from the wall and looking if he saw a door somewhere. His foot slipped and he was sent flying into the pool.

    Mark’s first thought was that he’d have to change his clothes. The second thought was that this pool was stupidly deep. The third was “What’s that hole in the wall doing there?” The fourth was that he’d better get out of the pool.

    He swam to the bank and climbed up. He looked around, and seeing no signs of Rick, he sent Gyarados out into the pool.

    The sea monster looked around, seeing no opponent, and turned back to Mark.

    “Could you swim down there and see what this hole in the wall is for?” Mark asked. Gyarados just nodded and dived down. Mark saw him disappear through the hole. After a few minutes, during which Mark wondered why he was being so nosy, the monster returned.

    “It’s very interesting, actually,” Gyarados stated. “It’s a pretty long tunnel, but it ends where you go a bit up, and it’s got steps up, like you can empty the pool and then walk the whole way. There’s a red room there, I couldn’t go in so I didn’t see much.”

    “A red room?” Mark questioned blankly. “Emptying the pool?”

    “Yeah, you can probably empty it somehow. Try the light switches over there.” Gyarados jerked his head towards the wall, which had six switches on it in two columns of three.

    Mark walked over there, not sure why he was doing this but driven on by curiosity.

    The switches weren’t marked. He pressed the first one and the lights went out. He quickly pressed it again, but nothing happened. He tried it again a few times, but then tried the second switch. The boxes the trainers were supposed to stand in got illuminated. Nothing happened when he pressed it again, either. He tried the third one and Gyarados got lit up too. He growled, screwing his eyes shut.

    “I don’t like this light, Mark,” he said.

    “Sorry, I can’t turn anything off here,” Mark apologized, attempting to press this button again. The fourth switch, to Mark’s great relief, put the lights back to normal. Pressing the fifth one, he wasn’t really expecting anything interesting to happen, but with a great noise, a drain opened at the bottom of the pool and the water level started lowering.

    “You’d better recall me before it empties,” Gyarados commented. Mark nodded, holding forward the Pokéball as it dissolved Gyarados into red energy. The pool took a bit of time to empty, but it was way too deep for Mark to get to the bottom.

    He hopelessly tried the sixth switch, and small handles appeared out of the wall of the pool, forming a ladder.

    Mark shrugged and went down, wondering what Rick would do if he came back. He nervously entered the tunnel and walked through it. It was rather long, but in the end he came to another, short staircase. He climbed up, ending in, as Gyarados had said, a room lit by red lights. A see-through door led to another red room; it was open.

    He curiously went in, but then heard voices. He quickly ducked behind a low wall. Through the red glass on top of it, he watched two scientists walk into the room, which he now had the time to examine.

    It was full of glass tanks containing a brown liquid. Inside them floated Pokémon embryos, some very Pokémon-like, others just creepy, shapeless forms at the early stages. Each tank had a screen and a keyboard on it. Odd, pyramid-shaped devices of different sizes were lined along the walls. Mark realized he was in Rick’s cloning lab.

    One of the scientists walked to a tank containing what looked somewhat like a Caterpie. The other one walked to one that was farther away so Mark didn’t see what was in it.

    “Hey, Peter,” the nearer one called, “I think it’s ready.”

    The Peter guy came and peered at the Caterpie.

    “Yeah, looks pretty good,” he agreed. “I’ve got to tend to mine, though.” He walked back to his tank, and the one with the Caterpie did something on the computer and then the brown liquid started flowing out. The Caterpie was left in the tank and slowly opened an eye.

    “Cater…” it squeaked. “Cater… two!” Mark suddenly understood what was going on – they were making more super-clones, ones that Rick didn’t have a license for. He hardly dared to breathe.

    The scientist pressed a button and the tank opened with a low hiss. He picked up the Catertwo, smiling.

    “What a beauty!” he said proudly. Peter came holding a Pikachu super-clone – it had blue balls on its ears, blue pawpads, long blue claws and a threadlike, jagged tail with a blue triangle at the end. It looked menacingly at Catertwo and hissed, baring its sharp fangs.

    “Mine’s pretty good too,” Peter said. The other one examined the Pikatwo.

    “Well, nothing beats Rick’s. You know, the one he gave to Taylor,” he commented.

    “Ah, well, that doesn’t count,” said Peter. “Rick’s the cloning master.”

    “Yeah, but seriously…” said the other one, lowering his voice, “I’ve got to say, Rick’s spoiling the kid. If my little brother came to me and said the Charmander he got as a starter was too weak and he wanted a clone, I’d tell him to shut up and clone one himself. But nooo, of course Rick just gives him the best clone we’ve ever made, and I heard he’s going to give him even more! And then Taylor lost his Charmander and got some level 14 Quilava out of nowhere, just to keep it in the Pokéball all day without training it at all! And I mean, what’s Rick thinking, giving him super-clones? Anybody at all can see them! This is madness, somebody will catch him one day if he keeps this up...”

    The scientist stopped abruptly upon seeing a blond-haired, handsome man of around twenty-five enter from a side room, who Mark assumed was Rick.

    “Hey, Peter, Jimmy, do you know who was playing around with the switches?” he asked worriedly.

    “Well, nobody entered, at least,” said Jimmy. “We’d have noticed.”

    “That’s good. Let’s just hope it was some random kid.” Rick smiled faintly, but walked back to the room. In the doorway, he turned around again.

    “Oh… Lee says Mewtwo² is resisting the Clone Ball again. We’ve got to make a new model of the ball.”

    The two scientists nodded.

    “Let’s go evolve these beauties, now,” said Peter happily and they walked over to the pyramid-shaped machines near the walls. Mark saw his chance; he quickly glanced at the door he came through, but the entrance room was filling with water again; Mark assumed that Rick was refilling the pool. He looked around the room and eyed a staircase leading further down. Not seeing any other possible exit, he crawled silently towards it.

    It led to a long corridor containing nothing but posters on the walls with ideas of new super-clones. Mark took a quick look at each of them, but didn’t have the time to read any properly. At the end of the corridor there was a ladder; Mark climbed up and hit his head on something hard. He discovered it was a trapdoor. Lifting it carefully up and climbing through, he discovered he was in the seemingly empty entrance room to the Gym itself.

    He shivered, remembering that his clothes were still wet, and rushed to the hotel, thinking about this experience.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2004
  19. Well, that was rather…creepy, to say the least…

    The description was good, Mewtwo^2 and the Clone Ball seems an interesting plot angle, I'm really wondering where you're taking that…rebellion, perhaps?

    And, if Rick's Pokémon are that tough, then I'd hate to see how difficult the next leader's team will be…*shudders*

    And plot devices seemed to be at a bare minimum…which, in case that can be misinterpreted, is a good thing…

    There is just one thing that is bugging me; Why has Charmander evolved before Mark has even faced Rick? I mean, how could Charmander go from Level 5 to approximately Level 16 in that seemingly short time of about a week?

    …Make that two things…You said the prologue takes place 999 years before the animé? How could Mewtwo exist, then, if he wasn't created until about the time of the animé?

    …Wait…disregard that second one, I just remember that post at the top of the page…

    …Anyway…This fic is excellent, if not occasionally cofusing…Keep up the good work.
     
  20. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    I like to go with more of a "Levels = Experience" instead of "Levels = Age", so by facing tons of Legendaries, I'd expect him to get a whole lot of it. I also like to think of things like evolution happening merely "around" the actual level. It seems a bit early, yes, but hey, it was even earlier in the old version. Never liked the concept of a Pokémon evolving in the middle of a Gym battle out of trust and blah blah blah, and it had to happen before chapter ten (there's a good reason for that). Perhaps I should've made him evolve after Lugia or something, but meh.
     

Share This Page