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The Quest for the Legends, now with its ILCOETH revision!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Dragonfree, Apr 26, 2004.

  1. **BIGGER GRIN** Can't Wait not at all... oh yah i just love the scyther, need to keep those deadly waepons sharper than sharp for the cuttins. Guy at end...hmm...i don't know maybe someone just looking in at them, no to easy, maybe a talking poke, Deoxys,no to much, mew... nah can't be. I don't know ill have to wait.

    **waits for next chapter at cpu stareing at email** (subscribed)
  2. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Well, it says it's a man, and he's looking *out* through a window at the stars, so that outrules everything you've mentioned so far. -.^
  3. ooooooooooh So confused...**scratches head** if anyone says that there is a man, that doesn't necesarily mean that??? does it huh...huh...:) Well anyway i said it wrong i doubt its someone he knows or has met so i dont know... i need ot stop trying to figure it out im getting a headache.

    **bangs head against desk** a really, REALLY bad headache
  4. IdiotNESS

    IdiotNESS Guest

    Huh? Draconix? What did you just say? I didn't get any of it but I do think the guy looking out the window is a psychic. I want to know, though, was he looking at the stars or to the stars. That would help us knowNESS.

    Does Scyther's personality reflect his treatment by the Mew hunter? Also, wouldn't Scyther still have that loyalty for his old master plus additional loyalty in honor of what their friendship once was? Mark is takin' a big risk there. NEway, you did talk about Scyther battling for Mark so I'll trust you...a little...Never trust writers when they have just posted a chapter thick with plottyNESS :D.

    Still, I think Gyrados trumps you all, foolish pokemon that are not Gyrados ;)!

    Well, good Job DwagonFwee *IdiotNESS starts feeling random* ! Chapter must be sticky with forshadowing. And dreams, those are always fun. I would like to question teh handling of dreams, however. I don't know many people who go through their dreams sentinent. I, for one, dream while feeling like a passenger witnessing occurences to myself. Like a spirit half out of ether, It's like I'm watching a movie in first person...You get it? There's a sort of helplessness, Mark definitely had control over his mind, though, is he a psychic? Or someone else who has exceptional control over his subconscious thoughts... YOU BETTER GET POSTING, I MUST KNOW!!!
  5. Stars...doesn't it remind u of jirachi?
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 7, 2004
  6. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Well... he dreams like I do, and admittedly I maybe have slightly weird ways of dreaming. I usually dream in third person, for example, and in about 35% I'm aware it's a dream (although sometimes I think a bit illogically in terms of that, like thinking that if my friend did trade me a Zangoose before the dream was over, I would actually have a Zangoose when I woke up). I have also managed to wake myself up through forcing my eyes open during a dream (it's very hard and my eyes feel funny afterwards, but still possible). In this case, Mark is, in third person, watching mix-ups of everything that happened, including himself ordering Scyther to kill May because she was trying to steal Charmeleon, which he would never do if he actually controlled that, but he's watching it like it's a movie he himself can't affect. Because he's been dreaming very similar things just a few minutes ago, he's aware that it's a dream, and while not being able to choose what he does in it, he can wake himself up - or not, and because he knows it's a dream, he's not really afraid of it and can watch it without waking up automatically (when I wake up from dreams, I'm either extremely scared, dead, have woken myself up or was awoken by some kind of an interruption from the outside world).

    Lesson: Never ask me about dreams.

    Scyther's life with the Mew Hunter is something you'll find out more about later. And Scyther's full past, why he doesn't want to live in the wild, and all that. There actually is more to him than to Gyarados, but the two have one thing in common: They don't feel like talking about that right now.
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2004
  7. Is it that they don't want to talk about it or is it just you lol. I think that if it is a man it may be from Marks past, can you believe that i just had to look back to see the name ( i can't remember names ) hah. I'm such an idiot. Anywho if it isnt it is some one from way back in the past i don't think it is anyone evil i seriously can't wait for the next chappie.

    I dont have a headache... but i do have this huge bump...
  8. Another good chapter, Dragonfree. What could the dream mean? Heh, only you know that… Heehee! *twitchle-conniption*
  9. Lupin

    Lupin Legendary Pokémon Coordinator

    Where was Gyarado's in that chapter?

    Another cool chapter Dragonfree, loved that dream part (I love werid stuff like that).
  10. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Gyarados was inside his Pokéball; Mark had no pool to send him out in. There are downsides to having Water Pokémon, you know...
  11. your aware that gyrados is a part flying type, and he is a sea_SERPENT so he can be on land but i know he didnt let him out because he was in a cramped room right,... right... RIGHT. Lol yah i await another good chapter anxiously. Very anxiously.

    **chews through boxes of pencils in anticipation of next wonderfull chapter**
  12. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    I'm still freaked when I look at Gyarados floating in the air in Colosseum. In my fic Gyarados just swims.

    And you don't honestly think a Gyarados could just slither around, do you?
  13. of course not just like a screwed up bump with his hip like things...yah.

    Thats what i think he would do i mean how could he just swim if he destroys towns huh, huh, HUHUHUHUH!!!...*wheeeeeeeeeeeeeez* ooooooh *passes out*
  14. Chibi Pika

    Chibi Pika Stay positive

    I can't really leave a long reply cause I'm currently at school ^^' but that was awesome, I love how the plot's developing and can't wait for the next chapter! Keep it up!

  15. Blazikens_Brushfire

    Blazikens_Brushfire The Blaziking

    *Stands with mouth open* This is like... the greatest fic since Breezy's HLBMA!! I finished the whole, whole, WHOLE story in two hours... sigh... good times go by so fast. I'm awaiting more chapters as good as the last ones! *sits with legs crossed*
  16. Mocha

    Mocha Guest

    heh. I already typed out a reply under quick reply, but it got lost. I'm a "n00bie" so please don't bite if I do something wrong.

    I think your story is great. It's what prompted me to join (I figured since I came here so much, I should join ^.^).

    Umm... a couple lil' things could be fixed though.

    time: There isn't a good sense of time in the story. For example, I thought Mark only spent one night at the hotel, but it seemed longer. It's easier fixed though, just add description of the sky here and there, or a glance at a clock. maybe something like "I walked out of the poké center and squinted my eyes against the harsh sunlight," or "The day was seemed endless, it was only two in the afternoon." (I know, not the best examples, but they get the point across)

    money: Sometimes how much money Mark has is.... a bit fuzzy. I don't have the exact quotes, but what brought this to my attention was when Mark worried about his money buying potions... then he bought a pokédex... then he paid for a hotel room... then the tms.... See what I mean? If you need quotes, just tell me.

    rushing events: I don't know if you ment to do this, but at one part in the gym battles it seemed to be really rushed. Not the battles, since Iknow they're low levels and thus are short (hehe, good job, you didn't fall prey to the "describe every single battle as if it were the championship" syndrome), but the going from one battle to the next. Maybe add a few more details inbetween?

    catchign pokemon: you did great on that, the only thing I have to say about it is why not let the pokemon you just caugh meet you right after along with your team? (its just a personal preference of mine). I know you did introduce them and stuff, but didn't you send out the Sandshrew into battle without ever having to talk to it?

    phew, I really hope I don't have to type all this again.

    Now on to the things I really liked/or thought you did well on.

    Explaining some of the more tricker things (like the Tms) that nintendo never did.

    Eevee ^.^ (Eevees are my fav). that was a really unique idea for him to be so young and have to be explained to. Also the other pokémon characters are great too (you developed most of them quite well).

    Hehe, I too agree that Mark should know something about Pokémon since he lives in a world where they matter so much... Ash being so ignorant was simply for the benefit of the viewers and storyline.

    OOoo, I also like how you did the pokémon speech. hehe, "pro-pokeballs". NIiice one. The idea of school classes was cool too.

    The making of a whole new region with its legends, while incorporating smoothly the already known ones. Nice cross references, such as how so many people come from other regions to visit the largest Skarmory nest. Interestig legends too. (the time thing confused me there too, but you explained it later on).

    Having Mark's parents show some concern for him leaving at such a young age.... heh, it's a personal peeve of mine how they go off at such a young age, I highly doubt that would happen if the world waas actually real, it's not that safe out.

    ok, I think that's all I have to say. omg i typed alot. hope you don't mind!

    and I'm so glad you're continuing htis! too many good fics simply stop... *sigh* im waiting for some to continue again at the pokemon elite forums.

    well have a better day then I will, and please explain if I did anything wrong!
    ~moi, a brand-new "n00bie"
  17. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    Heh, I tend to be very bad with the time. In the original, I found out at chapter twenty-one that he had been traveling for... like five days or something. o.o At least I'm improving a bit now, so it's getting more sensible, but everything still seems to happen at some unfathomable time and then I randomly insert evenings and nights. ^_^;;; Now that I think about it... the previous day has been very awkward. He was one night at the hotel, yes, but he spent a lot more than that in Cleanwater City itself.

    The money thing, though, has an explanation. I mentioned that the Pokédex handled the payment for the hotel. He brought some cash along from home, because he didn't know that this was a feature of the Pokédex. The Pokédex is like a credit card, paying directly from his bank account. When he was worried about using up his money, he didn't have the Pokédex yet.

    Yeah, I'm rather unhappy with the battles in chapter eight too. I was just trying to get to the point as soon as possible, so I compressed the battles together, leaving like one sentence in between them. I will probably revise the chapter later.

    Mark was going to introduce Sandshrew to his Pokémon, but just after he sent Sandshrew out, May came and wanted a battle, and then he forgot about it. I quote:

    I'll try to get better at the time thing. ^^; Thanks for reading!
  18. Lupin

    Lupin Legendary Pokémon Coordinator

    Can I just ask Dragonfree. Have you always used the current description of the TM's or has it changed. I loved it when I first read it cos I've always wondered what they were like in real life, but then I noticed that theres a similer system used in Fr/Lg (CD's placed on a Pokemon).
  19. Dragonfree

    Dragonfree Just me

    I never described how TMs worked before if I remember correctly, but this description was based on FR/LG with the CD's.
  20. Lupin

    Lupin Legendary Pokémon Coordinator

    I thought so. It's still a good way of explaining.

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