The Quest for the Legends Review
"Death is not to be feared, as it is the only thing we have in common."
I love that line! Anyway, hello, Dragonfree. I am going to type a long review for every chapter, so because of that, this review is going to break the world record for longest review. Mwahahaha. Ph34r.
Anyway, since my reviewing system looks at all points in a fic, it can show the author what concerns the critics have for their fic. And I have to say, Dragonfree, this is one of the most flawless stories I've ever read. The description and plot, and the phenomenal character personalities I've ever seen.
Uniqueness, thought, description, length. Everything is perfect about your fan-fic, Dragonfree. The usage of vocabulary: top-notch. However, here's one downfall. The problem is the battles. Although highly descriptive, and Dragonfree-style, but the battles seem to be a little short.
About twenty short paragraphs are used, and some of the action is a little choppy, and need some description. Nonetheless, the other stuff, like the new Pokémon, the confused Mark, and the great plot, make up for it. But I'd really suggest you get some work done on that.
: :Chapters I to X: :
The beginning adventures of Mark and May are pretty good and daring with some great mysterious elements in the very cool scary-ish, chosen-one-ish ambience. The Quest for the Legends' beginnings chapters are interesting, yet there is only one little problem - How come Mark and May have a little too powerful Pokémon like Lapras, Skarmory, Larvitar and Dratini? And Scyther - whoa.
Anyway, the problem is that they are a little too powerful and sometimes, I feel at some points I think, "Ooh, that would have been a good time for Sandshrew to evolve," but then, nope, it doesn't happen. It happens a little later. Anyway, the story is good and is well thought-out. I love it.
Also, the Pokémon School was very good, and the way that Mark hated it, but loved to draw, just like I plan stuff for my fic I'm working on (the newest fic ever - will show these people soon enough)
The only thing that gave you less criticism credentials was the fact that the duo have strong Pokémon. And they're ten!? They sound highly intelligent, so you'd better decrease their I.Q., but that's just me. I like a little more of a reality in store. Meh.
The flow and description was nice, and the length was okay. I'd say about six pages on MSWord? I don't know. But, nonetheless, your fic is great, much to be admired, and is still one of the best I've ever read. The telepathy with Pokémon is great and the Agreement - Phenomenal. Your fics just astound me. I just hope I'm as good as you with my fic.
: :Chapters XI to XV: :
Great, just great. The description of the new Pokémon and new areas are truly amazing, and the description of how Pokémon evolve - good, but why does Mark, when he doesn't pay much attention in class, know a little too much when teaching Eevee? Very lack-of-fic-memory-ish there, Dragonfree. Just pointing out.
The work you did is great, and the trainers' personalities, whether it be the trainers they fight or the two main characters, is great. But, the only thing on my mind is the plot - I sense that the Gym Leader of Cleanwater, Rick, is up to no good. Plot thickening...bum bum bum.
Anyway, the length is okay - needs some more polished battle sequences, and some more emotion in the battle. Enthusiasm is a key element in that. Pretend that you are in a fight with a bully. He or she punches you, and your body aches. Put some groans, agony, and some pain, to really make the emotion and description of how Pokémon feel when hurt to really show the people that. Use that tone.
If you don't like that, that's okay with me.
: : Chapter XVI : :
This chapter, "The Third Badge" is okay. The battles are starting to improve in this chapter, with the Scorplack owned by Mitch and the fierce battle between Mark's Charmeleon and the Scorplack. Good use of real-life in there. Yes, it's possible to be immune to illnesses, but not poison, just to let you know.
The description is great, and call me crazy, but Scorplack was a little hard to depict. I know it's black, and its a scorpion, but meh, I cannot imagine it clearly. Am I missing something here? Length was just okay, like always, long enough for a good story.
: : Chapter XVII : :
"The Shark and the Serpent" was a good story, especially right in the middlish part with the old sales clerk that's a little much like those infomercial guys - buy one and get this free. Blah, blah, blah. And then he overcharges - like they do in today's world. XD - Anyway, the plot was great. It reminded me of "Jaws". And also, Gyarados eating Sharpedo - nice. It shows that Pokémon are carnivorous fiends.
Like always, description takes the cake. I can't even make any good compliments anymore since I can't think of any for 22 chapters so far. The length is nice - the battle could have been a little longer - but that's jsut me.
: : Chapter XVIII : :
"Enemies Forever" showed the most perfect thing in the world that I love most - EVIL SCYTHER! Right at the end, where Scyther was a centimeter close of slitting Mark's throat, I was thinking -
That's the best part of this chapter. Right there. Of course, the rivalry between Charmeleon and Scyther have always been great, and also,
Dratini evolved! Huzzah!
The description - *looks at a book called "Making Unique Compliments for Idiots"* is "extraordinarily phenomenal in many portions of the novel". The length could have been a
bit longer, but not much, in some cases like the hotel and the discussions with Charmeleon and Scyther at the end of the chapter. This is the most unique of all the chapters,Dragonfree. Give yourself a pat on the back.
And also, Gyarados' constant weakening with each attack. Overheat ring any bells, anyone?
: : Chapter XIX : :
"Good or Evil?" is a good story that features Chaletwo! Huzzah! The sprite of it looks good, by the way, and looks quite...evil. Evil is cool, especially in your fics. The rematch between Mark and Marge was a bit...short. There could've been more in the battle with Starmie and Scyther. Starmie can replenish its health, and so can Lapras with Rest from TM44. Anyway, that was a good chapter, especially at the end. Sort of a cliffhanger.
I'm not going to say anything about the description anymore - it's all good in these and in future chapters. The length was okay. Like mentioned before, the rematch was a bit short. That's the only problem I had with this fic. But, why is there a Chaletwo, if it looks like Mewtwo, and Chalenor is something different? What's going on?
Anyway, the story is going great and fairly well, so keep it up!
: : Chapter XX : :
"The Warning" is just that. A warning of things to come. Folks and fans of "The Quest for the Legends" watch out, as Butterfree will do something unexpected in future chapters of this newly revised, ILCOEth (It's actually version 7 - meh) fic. Anyway, this fic was cool, and yes, Ash's son was quite the cliché-type person, but Molzapart and Rainteicune were okay. Don't be too hard on yourself, Dragonfree. I don't want another revision made...
The descrip- never mind. The conversation was really good. It really made me think that Chaletwo wasn't good. It was
evil. Huzzah to evilness! And the length is getting longer. I like.
: : May 21st/Chapter XXI : :
Jolteon! Mark's team now has...a Fire-type, a Dragon-type, a Bug/Flying-type, a Water/Flying-type, a Ground-type and an Electric-type. His team is quite strong and unique. But the only thing I didn't see was the use of a Sun Stone on a Sunkern or Gloom. Oh well. Anyway, the characters were good, especially May, whose "Oh-you-evolved-no-more-attacks-for-you" expression was quite unique.
Descr- never mind. Length was okay - and the "Evolution Solution" was an okay title for the ceremony. There were some parts I didn't like about it that made it unique, like the people throwing stones at Pokémon for evolution. Anyway, it was still good, and I hope for the Festival to be good, like the arrival of Chaletwo...
: : May 22nd/Chapter XXII : :
One word describes the "Attack Approval" - interesting. The ability to use your own attacks and make them into battle is really cool in your region of Ouen. Anyway, this chapter was cool, and the longest I've ever read thus far. Now two Pokémon have unique abilities - Dragonair, with its Dragonfire Attack, and Gyarados' Dragon Beam. Nice.
Skipping description - and now heading to length. Like I said in the aforementioned paragraph, this was the most longest chapter I've read thus far....or so I believe...
: :May 23rd/Chapter XXIII: :
"The Frenzy Attack Tournament" was very impressive. It teaches every single author in here that all of your battles are alawys interesting. Whod've thought that you've made a chapter in regards to Pokémon attacking individually? It's astounding at the way you do it, and revolving everything around Scyther and Charmeleon's rivalry. Very good, rich and great to look at - especially length-wise. It is pretty long. Longer than Chapter XXII, I believe. And XXIV is longer than this one, too.
Very good.
: :May 24th/Chapter XXIV: :
"The Threat" was a great chapter. The length was great, the description, of course, was definitely great, and very exhilirating to read. The entire chapter kept me on the edge of my seat, and then at the end, I just thought in my head:
Chaletwo... And at that moment, I just felt the chills. You are just too damn good of an author, Dragonfree. You deserve so much, I can't fill it all in this post!
Very good work, here. Very impressive.
~Dragonfire~