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The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum

Discussion in 'Completed Fics' started by bobandbill, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. CloverTheKirlia

    CloverTheKirlia Confidence Is Power

    Making Shadow Pokemon with a beatles song!LOL! Man, Espeon did a little to well of a job with dropping Rui on her head, i feel sorry for her... well that explains why she doesnt tell you any thing in the game basically. PM me if another chapter comes up! again another LOL chapter!
  2. Jonah

    Jonah herd u liek mudkips?

    Shut up, mister floooowweerrrrs! I will defeat you!

    One word: Brilliant.

    I swear, when I saw that there was a new chapter after so long, I started dancing as if Miror B. had turned on his radio.

    DarkPersion479 already pointed out the other "Kerb", but I felt obligated to bring this kerb to your kerb attention. Kerb.

    So, the interviewer was waving his microphone with both great enthusiasm and a look of despair? Try to make your sentences clearer.

    Now for my favorite parts in this chapter: I've heard of TV dinners, but a TV breakfast? Does Nascour's former TV have little cream cheese dispensers and butter spreaders inside?

    Phillar Caractor the filler character invents the question mark. My reaction: "?"

    Dakim's characterization is great.

    And is the fashion-obsessed girl whom beat Ein on a test Lady Venus, by any chance? Speaking of which, I'm sure Venus is a beauty to the people of The Under, but, well, without sunlight, her face is so pale that IMO, she's freakishly ugly.
  3. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner Peace to the Mountain

    I am a happy little birdy birdy birdy....

    Seeing Wes's thoughts on and reactions towards all the attention his actions against Cipher had earned him was interesting, I thought. I like getting a good look into a character's head like that. ^^ I liked getting some more backstory for him, too. ^^

    Phillar was frelling awesome. XD The name, the out-of-the-blue friend request, his claim to have invented the question mark... all of these things added (not "***ed" as I just caught myself having typed o_O) up to a very amusing character indeed, I thought. X3

    Speaking of amusing characters, that guy at Fateen's place was also pretty frelling funny. XD

    Rui's Poké Ball practice was great, too. I loved how her attempts at releasing a Pokémon by throwing the ball resulted in things breaking, and I also loved how she eventually ended up sending Quagsire out in random directions and making him materialize in weird places as a result. XD

    I liked Miror B.'s scene in this chapter, of course, especially the part where he decided not to hand that Itemfinder over to Nascour. Again, I love getting a good look into a character's head like that. ^^

    I squee for the presence of Ein in this chapter, and furthermore am liking the heck out of the way Dakim's being portrayed so far. X3

    And the scene in which Skarmory got shadowfied was nothing short of EPIC. X3


    I'm quite amused that that worked. XD

    Nice use of detail. :D



    Wow. XD

    Random friend requests--seems there's no escaping them, even in Orre! X3


    They would also have been able to perhaps find out if there is indeed a dimensional portal in his ginormous afro. :3

    XDDDD How indeed...

    Again, Phillar = awesome. XD


    XD Yeah, I'd imagine not. X3

    Those poor, poor gates and walls... X3


    Minor explosions? XD Wow.

    I wonder if said reviewer asked what Yanma's favorite brand of toilet paper was... X3


    Mmm, tasty. XP

    Damn, that does sound rather entertaining--especially if the interview consisted of him asking himself what his favorite brand of toilet paper is. X3

    ...Actually, no. Three hours' worth of toilet paper discussion would very likely end up containing some really icky information, I'd imagine... O~o;

    I love Espeon's line there. XD

    And I loved Umbreon's line there. XD And somehow I couldn't help but hear him say that line in Ralph Wiggum's voice (the translated line, not what technically actually came out of Umbreon's mouth... although now I'm hearing that spoken in Ralph's voice, too XD). XD

    XDD Ah, the awesomeness of Rui's Poké Ball-throwing technique...


    Such a glorious creature, that Quagsire... X3



    Both of the bolded things in that excerpt made me laugh. XD


    XD D'aww.

    Yep. Rui + Poké Ball - attention given by her = entertainment. XD


    OH SNAP. X3

    Again, that Quagsire is glorious. XD

    I love the image that's presented there. XD


    See response to previous excerpt. X3

    Good ol' Johnson. X3

    I love Duking's response there. XD

    ...I'm both amused and somewhat disturbed by the "whee children!" part. XD;



    I liked the microscope/microphone mix-up there. XD And that last line also made me laugh for some reason. XD

    Good ol' Plusle. XD

    XD Poor Plusle. X3

    Yay, potatoes! X3

    XD How awesomely cruel of you, Wes. X3

    I love that Espeon's method of "persuasion". X3


    Another amusing image. XD

    Both the sparkles and Umbreon's reaction to them made me laugh. XD

    Must have gotten sparkles in her brain somehow. X3

    Fwee, sparkles! X3



    XD That guy's great.

    XD That was awesome.

    Aww, poor Nascour... X3 I'll admit, though, that does sound like one hell of a television. o.o Mmm, bagels...

    Now he'll just have to prepare his bagels the old-fashioned way, the poor soul. :( Ah well, he's still got his freaky hair and eyes to make him feel special. And that... outfit. X3

    *gasp* "Bad choice"? But Nassy-kins, it makes you look so... so... eh... Well, it does cover what it's supposed to! You've got to give it that, at least! X3

    And fun! :D

    *giggle-snort* X3

    Miror B.'s method of introducing himself > all other methods of introduction. :D

    She should be afraid. That afro has to be fed a good-sized Pokémon (Mareep are great for that--the Static does wonders when it comes to volume!) every two weeks, and as it continues to increase in size, it will come to require larger prey...

    And again I say, OH SNAP! X3

    I love the image that puts in my head... XD

    Another one of those things that just happened to make me laugh for some reason. XD Actually, I think it was the presence of "shut up" there that did it. That phrase often makes me laugh. XD


    I loved that. XD

    Finding and picking out many a Mareep bone in the process, I'm sure... X3

    Those horrible people! Shame on them! X3

    Again, I really liked this part. ^^


    I like Dakim's door-opening method. X3 And his line there in that last paragraph is effing classic. XDD




    D'aww... X3

    Again, this was EPIC. X3



    XDDDD Yep. So much love for this scene. So very much. X3


    o_o Damn, that's both very amusing and creepy as all heck (and possibly also hell). XD

    Awesome way to end a chapter, especially given the context. :D

    Congrats on another very entertaining chapter, and a belated happy birthday to you, as well! ^^
  4. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Chapter review replys! Thanks for reviewing people, yet again... feedback is much appreciated. :)
    And I'd go edit the mistakes in the second [post, but I too have been struck by the 'not being able to post/edit posts' curse. >_< Ah well, it'll just have to wait.
    First in, Chris - not that surprising. :p I'll just say again cheers for the review, as I've already spoke n to you. -_-
    Cheers. Glad you liked it, and will add you to it as well (if it lets me, that is >_<).
    Now you know how I feel, wnating to write yet having work to do... :p
    Wasn't so much a coffee-man reference actually - after all, he WANTS coffee, rather then gives it. -_-
    Good it made you laugh then. :) Cheers for reading + reviewing again.
    Yay, the last scene was liked. Was entertaining it in my head for so long, and worrying about the delievery of it so much... so glad it turned out decent. :)

    Wes scenes (aka Pyrite plot/character stuff) was kinda needed, have to say... was quite the struggle for me to try and keep it entertaining. >_< Not so easy for me to write, it seemed, with Pyrite practically exhausted and all. Even the game has a lot of dialogue after Miror B abut what happens and all. Plus, everyone seemed disappointed when it was thought I was to have some stuff on Wes the last chapter, so decided a bit more seriousness for once wouldn't hurt... *shrugs* But the Cipher scenes are good? Interesting... well, it's fun being able to make up the whole thing, and taking the bad side in writing was kinda fun as well. :)

    And you liked the fortune person? Heh, he's always a questionable character in the game... glad you liked my portrayal of him. Now get to work on your fic! :p
    Irony FTW. -_-
    Random tidbit: '3 not being a number' is actually a sentence uttered by my Chemistry teacher one morning. True story, that, and hard not to use something as gold as that. What's more - after the chapter, my software teacher then told us zero wasn't a number either... >_<

    Apoligies for the delay. Was a hard (and long) chapter for me to write, and had a lot of things as well. Plus minor updates of previous chapters, and owrking on my one-shot... then school, the main culprit. (And distractions, like Brawl). -_- But yes - reading previous chapters ain't a downside, I suppose. :p

    But good I could entertain throughout that giant of a chapter. Gah @ me and my inconsistant chapter lengths. Cheers for the review - glad you were entertained. :)
    Actually, down here, kerb/curb are both viable, apparently. Foolish differing Englishs...
    Indeed. Even Pyrite gets hit by recessions. -_-
    Damn, they had some pretty fun times there XD Wish I was there.
    Yes. Plus - Miror B needs some air-time considering he disappears from existance in the game for a good while. And dancing is his main prority, after all.
    I had a feeling you'd enjoy his early inclusion. :)
    Just ask my chem/software teacher. >_<
    Indeed. IN DA FUTURE! IN ANOTHER DIMENSION! Somewhere, somehow... :p
    Yes, there are a number of songs that would work, actually, some more then others. >_< Stupid radio stations here...
    Glad you liked it, and Ein's inclusion too. Cheers for reviewing onc again as well. :D
    I shall add you too, then. Thanks for the compliment. :)
    Unless I'm and the sources I looked at for confirmation are wrong, then kerb is fine. Apparently. :/
    Whoops. Yay for unclear sentences. >_< (For the record - interviewer is entusiastic, Wes who is looking at him is despairing, in casse you couldn't intrepet my sentence).
    Dakim is pleased, man! :p
    ...no. In the game she isn't portrayed as a genius, and can say I hadn't meant for this to be her either. Actually is a main character (Lisa) from DarkPersian479's fanfic - felt like doing a reference giving that epic piece of work has been completed. :)
    But yes - Venus IS ugly, IMO. And maybe not just because of Colosseum's 3D animation... Explaining The Under's obsession with her has already been thought of, though. :D
    Cheers for sticking through and reviewing once again, Jonah!
    Yay, it was appreciated! Thought I might as well give some more air time and backstory, considering he IS the protagonist. >_<
    Amusing characters came from non-existant and remaining NPC is Pyrite, whoosh. Tried to fit as many NPCs in the chapters, leastways the ones with potential. And considering Rui ain't a trained... trainer, no wonder she isn't up to scratch on one of the more basic things a trainer has to be able to do.
    And after all, Cipher with the Itemfinder would kinda affect things a bit too much... explaining my own explanations FTW. -_-
    Yay for more Ein support, and Dakim too. (Who will, I shall say, be doing some epic things...). And epic? Nice. Glad again it was liked - hard for me to write after messing with the idea in my head for over a year.
    Too true...
    Cheers, on all counts. :) Thanks for another review as well. :D

    Last edited: Nov 25, 2008
  5. Kurloz Makara

    Kurloz Makara Red Death

    I"M BACK!!

    That chapter was really funny! I almost got in trouble with my computer teacher, 'cause I was reading this during class and I could barely hold my laughter in!

    BTW, are you gonna do a "re-telling" of XD: Gale of Darkness? If you do, I'll be waiting to see what Ardos is gonna be like!
  6. Jesusisblackcharizard

    Jesusisblackcharizard YUM potatoes

    ...Heck, with his outfit he nearly made my eyes bled with all those colours...”
    I think you meant Bleed there BNB
  7. Praxiteles

    Praxiteles Friendly POKéMON.

    The condensed remains of the post that has been deleted three times now:

    Catch-22! *is a fan*

    I liked Ein, I liked the idea of twisting someone's heart by force-feeding it happy influences (because it's like conventional education), and I liked the thought of his dedicated little life.

    The Miror B battle could be described as an 'epitome'.

    Interviewrs and the ways to defeat them are one of the better ideas I've seen in a while.

    Hyperactive yanma and plusle win as they are hyperactive.

    Rows upon rows of Mr. Mime boxes are terrible, ineffably creepy things.

    I should like to know what happens of the plan to destroy the Relic Stone, as it is a new idea to me.

    *laughs wryly*
  8. pieprsn

    pieprsn <<futurekingofearth

    omg u shall die made me fall out of my chair. I guess everything has been pointed out. Just keep up the awsome work man ;D
  9. Zincspider

    Zincspider My Bloody

    I just read all of the chapters.
    I am tired as all hell.
    But I can't fall asleep.
    Because it's kind of hard while I am laughing in my chair.

    I love it. It made me laugh almost the whole time.
    I am too lazy to use the quote button, so I will just refer to some of the funnier parts, like the 'Happy Generous Money Loaners'(or somthing to that effect), wasn't that in Pikmin two also?

    Quagsire's "Dah... you smell like peanuts" has been my phrase of the day.

    The fact that I just got mother copy of Colosseum, and I started to play didn't help either. I would play a little, and come read until I got to the part I stopped playing at. Strangely enough, Wes in your story has done everything I have done (to the game's capabilities) so far (down to the picks of pokemon) scares the siziat out of me.

    Saddly, I found Tom funny, but not as funny as most other people did. I liked Makuhita better."DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE PIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE"!!!!! Did your Makhita go into hyper mode EVERY TURN whe you played? Mine did. I had it almost purified after the first battle.

    The mention of the Skarmory is very interesting, and makes sense.

    I really like that you gave Espeon a character. In the game, it seemed that Espeon got shunned, being a lesser level, and not even on his raid.

    Rui always seemed like she is hanging onto Wes WAAAAAY more than normal, and it was kind of creepy. ("You are my gallent prince who saved me after all"), so I liked you toned it down a bit... and gave the explination why she was so accepting. I was thinking just that before I read/found this.

    So, I will be waiting for your next instalment, and I would greatly appreceiate it if you put me on the PM list.

    EDIT: Does anyone else listen to 'Canned Heat' (song at the end of Napoleon Dynamite.. if you didn't know) when Miror B appears? I listened during his battle, and I have to say it fits.
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2008
  10. JaimeGreenan

    JaimeGreenan Well-Known Member

    Great fic.
    You have definetely made it funnier than the actual storyline.
    Great job.
  11. Jink25

    Jink25 New Member

    Great job i liked all of the chapters until ch 12 i mean the comedy level is just too high there isnt much of story to it, the whole Dakim being cheery muscle head just kinda ruins the whole evil syndicate. I really liked the Miror B's battle keep it up and Thx~
  12. Gardevoir Girl

    Gardevoir Girl is NOT a girl

    Sorry I took so long. I've had a lot going on recently, none of it easy to deal with. And sorry if I point out errors that have already been mentioned that you can't edit.

    I know the feeling.

    Both things I found entertaining. Ah, interviewers...

    Question mark at the end should be a period.

    ... Strangle?

    Question mark needed at the end.

    Erm, the Plusle seems to be switching genders.

    Another amusing comment.

    First, either 'the long streaks of white hair he had', or 'his long streaks of white hair'. Together they're redundant. Second, what exactly did he smother his clothes with?

    Something else amusing.

    You forgot to say what the 'just so' that he did, was. Nascour only stated that the door was open, not to come in.

    C should be an O.

    Missing quotation marks at the end.

    An interesting predicament.

    Sounds like me.

    Also, interesting method of making the Pokemon into Shadows.
  13. heatran_ran

    heatran_ran Vengeful Bastard

    This wholestory is great. It is extremely funny, and is enjoyable. However, I felt that his chapter wasn't as good as your last. Just a thought.

    Great job,though!
  14. Epic.

    First, on with the corrections, with a few random comments here and there.

    I feel the second "despair" could be replaced by a synonym.

    I think it would be better if the bolded phrase was at the start of the sentence. "Over the last few days, Pyrite Town had come under..." sounds better IMO.

    Brand of toilet paper.

    Bolded part unnecessary?


    "You", since "you've" is short for "you have", and "you have haven't" sounds weird.

    There are five pronouns, and two genders. Pick one plz. D:

    I think the "to" is unnecessary.


    The plural of that word is "hypotheses".

    With that said, I hate you for making Chapter Twelve better than Eleven, when obviously Eleven is a much superior number than Twelve.


    Great job, dude. I don't really need to expound anything anymore - this fic pwns. =P
  15. Brian Random

    Brian Random I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!

    I’ve read the first thread of the story and I’ve thought that it’s pretty good so far. Being a fan of comedy, I enjoyed reading those funny moments like when those two thugs who captured Rui were looking for the car key when it turned out that it was in one of their pockets all along or when Rui kept on going to house-to-house or person-to-person to try to find the mayor’s house. XD

    The concept I think it’s okay, having a dark-themed pokemon game and turned it into a parody version of it. Probably shows that bad situations can have a funny side to them.

    One of the negatives I’ve noticed was that the way you made your pokemon talk:

    Okay, some people may understand this (I did as well, I have a good sense of imagination) but then again, some people may not. Maybe you could’ve done something like this…

    Notice the brackets between the speech marks? This shows the translation of what the pokemon were saying. You can up a notice/guidance about those before showing your stories. If you’re interested, I can show you another example.

    There were some typing errors as well but I’m sure people pointed them out to you already. I’ll be checking out more of your fic. Happy writing.

  16. (s.i.e)

    (s.i.e) ★skydragon★

    i just finished the story bobandbill, i really enjoyed reading it^^
    to be honest it is kind of sad that the makers didn't put something like this in colloseum back then the intro of that game didn't make much sense.
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2008
  17. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Reviews are mounting up, and there are some questions/thing I'd like to respond to before I forget half of what I want to say. So yeah, more review replies.

    Oh, and before that, I've had a good start on the next few chapters in terms of plotting and planning, down to a few detailed parts. And now I have the holidays. So maybe the next chapter won't be so much long in coming? Let's hope so. Do have a number of other personal projects as well, though.
    Well, good you didn't get into trouble then. Good that it amused you though. :)
    Ah, this question again. Well, to be honest - I don't know. It would be a fair bit to go on, and I'd like to simply see out this fic first before considering such a thing... on the other hand, I will say that I have had numerous ideas for parts of a possible 'XD sequel', if I decide to undertake it, that is. And no doubt I'd find it fun to do as well. So this'll be a 'we see' sort of thing, I guess. -_-
    You're welcome for nearly falling out of your chair then. Anytime. -_-
    Yeah, ouch. Three times... well, cheers for reviewing even despite those setbacks. :)
    Had a feeling you might be...
    Well, thanks for the reviews - good to see what amused. Agreed that rows upon rows of Mr Mime boxes would be creepy... maybe the rating of this fic should go up? :p And the Relic stone - well, that'll feature in the next few chapters.
    O_O at a reading marathon of my fic. But cheers for doing so and reviewing as well. Glad you enjoyed. :)
    Yes indeedy - someone noticed! Hurrah!
    Eh, I'm surprised so many apparently like him... and different people prefer different things, pure and simple. At least Makuhita entertained you (and yes, he did get into Hyper Mode a fair bit for me... >_<).
    Pm list - done. *tries to remember to do just so* Hopefully you won't have to wait for so long...

    And shame on you for listening to something other than Miror B's salsa music during his battle sceen! :p But I might have to try that...
    Cheers. I hope you enjoy the rest of it then. :) And no rush either, if that worries you.
    Thanks - 'twas my main intention, after all. :)
    Glad you liked it, execpt maybe chapter 12's over-comedy. >_< Eh, it's the style I'm going for in this fic, despite the fact that I am turning a lot of the dark side of Colosseum on its head.

    And on Dakim, if you're interested - I protrayed him like that, purely as that's how I saw him in the game, and after some thinking. IMO, he actually has a diminished role compared to other admins. Miror B, despite even in the game being a fun-loving guy, did have control over a town, and had kidnapped a Pokemon (then failed to make anything of it >_<). Ein makes Shadow Pokemon - well, he's evil and important, 'nuff said. Gonzap - leader of a criminal gang. Nascour - leads the Admins of Cipher. Pretty big roles for these, and some other characters in the game also have roles of similar importance.

    Dakim however, is only ever given a 'muscle head' job in the game - to go and nab an item. He even resorts to physical force in doing so, yet despite this (and his Pokemon (cough)), he is not entrusted to any really 'important' role. Given his clothing, and statue... well, I decided it was a mould that fitted him well. Not saying that one couldn't easily seem him as something different, but just felt like showing my thought processes on him, so it didn't seem an entirely random choice.
    Well, I have now regained the ability to edit (hurrah). And some were ones I had missed as well, so thanks for that as well.
    With his hands - guess I wasn't clear that he hadn't done both things at the same time. >_<
    ANyway, thanks for reviewing once again. :)
    I'd agree as well, actually (after all, I much preferred writing Miror B's battle, hands down). Plus I won't always be able to make each chapter 'funnier' for all, so I simply went the best I could, given the amount of set-up I went for in this chapter. Appreciate these thoughts though, does give me an idea on such things after all. Glad you liked the story too btw, thanks for telling me. :)
    I learnt something - don't be sleepy when you make an edit, so that you don't go and repeat the same mistake rather than fix it. >_< Go me. :p
    Probably. *kills*
    The Beatles ARE win, after all. -_-
    I blame Microsoft Spell check, and my self-proof-reading skills. Or lack therefore.
    Erm... sorry? :p
    Cheers for reviewing again!
    Well, thanks for reading and reviewing then. Glad it amuses people who write darn amusing stories of their own. :)
    Yeah, I'm random like that.
    Felt I should comment on this. I can see what you mean by this, and understand the substitutions suggested as well. However... well, I chose my translation just to be simply different, and felt it is clear enough for readers to understand who is saying what - after all, there are only so many Pokemon who say 'Maku' and so forth, and I tend to also introduce who's talking before this, or say so after the dialogue and translation as well.

    This formatting of mind and having a translation as well as what the Pokemon - although maybe a little bit odd - also did lead to an odd joke of mine (e.g Makuhita's repeated 'Hita! Hita! Hita/Die! Die! Die!) and is simply, well, my style that I've opted for in this fic. I've always taken to the whole 'Pokemon say their own name' thing to heart - something set into my mind at a young age I fear), and decided it'll be a little something to show as well. (Plus I'm lazy and if it works, I'm not intending to change the million lines of overused dialogue I've got already) ;) :p

    But it's a fair point, and I'll consider it - and if people state that it IS hard to understand or not clear enough, or your suggestion pwns my style, then I'll certainly go and undertake the task. (So if you feel you have a comment on this point, ye other reviewers, please do so).

    At the least though, I'll make a note of it in my first post, so new readers will understand the system I use, seeing there is a chance people may be confused, certainly. :) Cheers for that.
    Yeah, I'm getting there. -_- And thanks for checking out my fic; I hope you enjoy the rest. :) (And there'll be some more coffee as well, no doubt -_-).
    Heh, thanks for that. Glad you enjoyed it too.
    Silly Genius Sorinity. To their credit they had some limited time on making Colosseum... but true; storyline needs lies plotholes.
    Thanks once again, all, for the reviews. Many thanks.
  18. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Chapter Up

    I bring a new chapter for you!

    Yay for chapters with more set-up and filler stuff! And a change of setting as well! Those who've played the game might notice I've got a certain event that occurs in the game absent from this chapter - have no fear, I've got it covered soon enough. Some actual action shall be occurring after this chapter though, so enjoy this in the meantime while I take forever in writing the next chapters. :p

    Oh, and there's now a chapter list in the first post as well. Now you can quickly go to a certain chapter without having to shift through the others! How awesome is that!


    Chapter 13 – Agate Village

    Hours had passed since they had departed Pyrite Town and the foul stench that had accompanied it. Instead, they flew past the fresh, yet sand-polluted air under a blazing Orre sun towards their next destination. Wes had donned his goggles to combat the oncoming sand from coming into his eyes, while Espeon had a small Reflect going in front of Rui’s, Umbreon’s and his seats on a side-section of the Zoomer, protecting them from getting sand in their faces.

    “How much longer will it take, Wes?” Rui asked, staring ahead gloomily at an endless stretch of yellow sand surrounding the Zoomer.

    “Umb, Umbreon?” (Yes, are we there yet?) Umbreon asked sleepily.

    “A few more hours,” Wes said. Rui sighed.

    “So... what’s Agate Village like, exactly?” Wes asked Rui. “I know that it tend to be a retirement place of sorts for people who were good trainers back in their day, but I don’t know anything about what the place looks like.”

    “To be honest, I’m not really sure...” Rui said. “I was there only once before, and that was when I very young. I do remember though that it was very, well... green.”

    Wes glanced at Rui blankly. “Green? Green in what way? They painted their houses green and decorated them with avocado skins or something?”

    Rui giggled. “No... it was just that they had all this grass and trees and everything. Which is quite unlike the rest of Orre, it seems...”

    “Indeed. Besides the port I arrived at when I came here, the rest of Orre is rather barren.”

    “Umbreon?” (Are we there yet?) Umbreon repeated.

    “Espeon Espi Espi; Espeon?” (Judging by the fact we’re still in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but sand wherever you look, and combined with the fact that Agate Village reportedly has trees and grass instead of sand; what do you think?) Espeon asked pointedly.

    Silence befell the group, except for the raspy vibrations made by the Zoomer.

    “...Umbre?” (So... are we there yet?) Umbreon asked finally.

    “Hey, is that a radio?” Rui asked suddenly, pointing to a small set of buttons amongst the numerous dials and meters occupying the Zoomer’s display; most of them indicating that the engine was set to explode any moment (Wes had noticed it had been indicating this for the past hour), and that it was currently running low on lemonade.

    “Yes, it appears so,” Wes confirmed. “Odd. I didn’t think this piece of junk had a radio.”

    “Well? Switch it on already!” Rui prompted.

    “Espeon...” (Yes, do; so we don’t have to listen to Umbreon again...) Nodding in agreement, Wes searched for an on button; then looked at the messy array of knobs with puzzlement.

    “How does one turn it on?” he mumbled. Then he caught sight of a small narrow slot with words written next to it.

    “What’s wrong?” Rui asked, noticing him blinking at the sign.

    “It says ‘Please insert money’... this piece of junk takes money from you just so you can listen to the radio?”

    “Umbreon!” (What a rip!)

    “Hang on...” Wes said, returning to the wheel while he rummaged through his pockets.

    “You’re not actually going to put money in there, are you?” Rui asked, surprised.

    “Of course not. Whatever made you think that?” Wes replied. “Aha, got it!” he remarked soon after, pulling out a paperclip, and ramming it into the slot. The Zoomer gave a few groans of protest, before the radio crackled into life.

    “And now, it’s our man Kevin with the finance report. Kev, what’s the outlook for Hoenn given the recession sparked by the recent bad weather in Hoenn?”

    “Well, it’s not looking good at all. All experts are predicting things are set to spiral out of control in a spiralling motion. This is set to plummet matters into another downward spiral ...”

    “Umbreon!” (Not the finance report!) Umbreon cried, covering his ears to try to protect himself from the monotonic, nauseating voice Kevin seemed to have.

    “...millions are set to lose their homes, businesses and tin-can openers as a result, and as described, this is set to be the ‘worst crisis Hoenn will have to deal with since the epidemic of Eevees in 1727, although perhaps not as bad as the infamous ‘Mudkip Plague’ in 1930’.”

    “Esp; Espeon,” (Yes, change it please; it’s a little bit mind-numbing, thank you,) Espeon said, glaring at the radio.

    “...I can’t – it’s stuck on this frequency,” Wes said, currently trying to bang the radio into obeying his wishes.

    “So in short, the people of Hoenn are advised to stay calm, positive and not to worry, and ride out this terrible, terrible weather and recession.”

    “Thank you, Kevin. That concludes the financial report. Say, we might even squeeze in a bit of music now for you folks...”

    All aboard the Zoomer gave a sigh of relief at this news.

    “...no, sorry – we’re out of time now. That concludes our show, and now we begin our daily ad marathon! That’s right - five hours of non-stop ads! We’ll be back at a quarter to six as usual with more finance – now it’s our lunch break!”

    “Umb! Umbreon!” (No not ads! That’s even worse!) Umbreon moaned.

    “Quick, turn it off!” Rui shouted with a look of horror.

    “Do YOU need a LOAN!?!” a man shouted from the radio. “If that’s the case, come on down to the Loan Sharks! Friendly advice and reasonable rates given to all!”

    “Espeon!” (That’s it; I’m going to sleep!) Espeon said in frustration, before settling down to do just that, trying to ignore the uproar coming from the radio. Wes moved back to banging the radio while trying to drive in a straight line, as Rui shouted advice.

    “We’ll even throw in... a pineapple! Here’s what our customers had to say!” the voice bellowed, before more joined in.

    “Lost...lost... all is lost...”


    “The rates suck, but at least we got a pineapple!”

    “Shut up... shut up...” Wes growled at the radio, before he moved to trying to remove the paperclip from the slot.

    “If that doesn’t convince you to try us instead of the other numerous money-stealing agencies out there, don’t worry! We’ll be sure to come to your door with our friendly persuasive pamphlets!”

    “Disclaimer: you may be held accountable by any injuries that may befall you from any pamphlets or oversized mallets involved in our free door-to-door visits,” a professional voice suddenly said, quietly and quickly.

    “...What did he say?” Rui asked Wes. Wes shrugged, and then winced as another person shouted at him.

    “Listen to this radio station! Sure; we’re the only radio station in Orre – but that makes us the BEST radio station!”

    “Turn down the volume so we can’t hear it then,” Rui suggested.

    “Good idea,” Wes said, looking at the various knobs. Finding one next to a ‘Volume’ sign, he hastily turned it, only for the radio to get louder. “Sorry, wrong way,” he said, before turning the other way.

    The radio got even louder.

    “Umbreon!?!” (WHY DID IT GET LOUDER!?!)

    “Come eat at Joe’s Joint! We’ve got tacos and chicken and tacos and even more variety to choose from! We’re even offering combo meal deals! Buy two tacos for the price of three! ISN’T THAT EXCITING!?”

    “Umbre?” (Wait – tacos?)

    “Disclaimer: Joe’s Joint will not be held responsible for any cases of food poisoning or rare foreign diseases that you may get upon consumption of our food, beverages and ash trays. Maximum of one taco made per hour.”

    “Now what are they saying?” Wes asked, unable to understand what was being said – this speaker was muttering very quietly and quickly unlike the otherwise loud radio.

    “Maybe they’re speaking in tongues?” Rui said, leaning closer as well, trying to make out a coherent word.


    “ARRGH MY EARS!” Wes cried, temporarily letting go of the steering wheel, clutching his head as a new ad began, offering record-breaking deals on dishwashers.

    “Wes! Watch out for that cactus!”



    “...Umbre?” (...Are we there yet?) Umbreon asked tiredly, hours after Wes had run over three cacti and nearly crashed the Zoomer into a surprised Cacturne. The radio was still going as loud as ever, much to their annoyance. Rui sighed and squinted into the distance, before giving a shout of triumph.

    “Yes, we are! I can see it! Look, Wes!”

    “Wow, you’re right! And about time too!” Wes said, looking ahead. The mountain that had been steady looming over the last half an hour now revealed small buildings standing upon the rare sight of green grass clinging to the mountain side. A small river ran at the base – the seemingly-natural water a rare sight for Orre, as a small, wooden bridge came into view over it, leading to what appeared to be an entrance to the town.


    “Oh, shut up!” Wes cried, parking the Zoomer near the river. He then turned off the Zoomer frustrated at it, and then heaved a sigh of relief as the radio too stopped along with the coughs the engine gave. He then removed his goggles and looked at the town before him, pausing only to remove a few spikes he had collected from the cacti sticking from his trench coat.

    “We’re here!” Rui proclaimed, happily reading a nearby sign by the bridge.

    Welcome to Agate Village!

    Proud home of numerous old folk

    Warning – Hungry Carvanha live in the river.

    Wes frowned at the extra message, while Espeon sceptically looked at another sign right behind it, which read ‘Beware of Invisible People’.

    “Espeon...” (Stupid sign...) Espeon muttered, before he shook his head at another sign, which read:


    This sign has

    Please refrain from touching the edges of this sign!

    "Umbre, Umb-” (Watch out, Espeon, that sign has sharp-)

    “Esp.” (I know.)

    A fourth sign rounded out the group, which Rui went to investigate.

    “In the interest of the environment, please refrain from making signs here,” she read out. “But...”

    “Well, we know we’re still in Orre after all, judging by the stupidity of those signs,” Wes said, rolling his eyes. “Well, let’s go see those grandparents of yours,” he said, taking Rui’s bags from the Zoomer, and walking with her over the bridge, Espeon and Umbreon following behind as well as Plusle who had hopped out of the Zoomer, now observing the small, sparkling stream below them. A light breeze greeted them as they crossed, carrying a rich fragrant smell down a gentle slope which welcomed the group. They strolled up the hill, with an endless carpet of trimmed grass leading up to a maze of houses and trees.

    “Plus...le...” (It’s so... green...) Plusle said quietly, lost amongst the absence of any pavement or rubbish on the ground, which he was so used to having lived in Pyrite Town.

    “Umbre,” (Green,) Umbreon agreed. Suddenly, an old man wheeled around a corner from behind a house, and spotted them.

    “Rui!” he cried, rushing forward and taking her hand, shaking it vigorously.

    “Umm, hello,” Rui said uncertainly.

    “Oh, I remember when you were only this tall! My, how you’ve grown!” he shouted, ignoring Rui’s puzzled look. “Eagun and Beluh will be glad to see you, after hearing about what happened,” he added.

    “Can you please stop shaking my hand?” Rui asked quietly, but the man didn’t seem to hear.

    “Hello!” another person shouted, this time an old woman who walked out of a house to investigate the old man’s enthusiastic greetings. “My, how you’ve grown!” she proclaimed, before rescuing Rui from the man’s handshake.

    “Thank you-” Rui began, before the woman embraced her in a tight hug.

    “Hello!” cried another elderly person, appearing from nowhere with a Taillow anxiously following him, the man eagerly greeting an overwhelmed Rui as well. “Have some berries!” he added, giving her a bunch.

    “Taillow! Tail Taillow?!” (Hey, those were for my lunch! Why do you keep stealing my berries and giving them away?!) it berated, as it landed on the man’s head and began to peck him on the head. Rui merely looked in confusion, before another person sprung up and greeted her as well.

    “And look at those cute Pokemon!” another arrival said, moving in to greet Espeon, Umbreon and Plusle as well.

    “Umbre!” (Arrgh, old people!) he cried, suddenly finding himself being picked up and surrounded by a mass of veterans. Then he relaxed, realising that they only wanted to give him a pet.

    “Plusle!” (Where are my potatoes?) Plusle asked, happily jumping around the newcomers, believing they had all come to say hello to him.

    “Ok, ok, you’ve welcomed me already!” Rui said with a hint of annoyance in her voice, managing to escape another member of the swarm of old people that had appeared suddenly to greet her.

    “You’re Eagun’s granddaughter, you know!” he replied happily.

    “Yes, I know. You’ve mentioned five times now-”

    “Welcome to our town! Here, have a pineapple!”

    “Hey, get off my lawn!” someone shouted from a house nearby loudly. People started to move away, before realising that they hadn’t been on the man’s lawn.

    “Hey! You! Get off my lawn! Why, if my name isn’t Duncan, I’ll...” he continued ranting.

    Why is he shouting if there’s nobody on his- oh, Wes thought, realising that the man was shouting at his letterbox.

    “Hey, who’s that?” asked one of the aged people suddenly, pointing at Wes, interrupting someone else who had been ranting to Rui about how she had been kidnapped.

    Wes cautiously backed away slowly.

    “He’s... Wes,” Rui offered. “He was the one who-”

    “Oh yes! I saw him on the old cornflake box!” one piped up, while others nodded.

    “Meet my boyfriend!” an old woman said eagerly to Wes. Seeing his bemused expression, she chuckled and winked. “It’s my Mightyena!” she exclaimed, pointing to a bored, dog-like Pokemon who rolled his eyes, clearly having heard that remark before.

    “Hey, are you Rui’s-” the woman continued.

    “Wait - are these your Pokemon?” an old man asked suddenly, pointing at them.

    “Umbreon and Espeon are mine, but Plusle’s somebody else’s – he’s just travelling with us,” Wes said, glad that the topic had shifted.

    “Then you’re a trainer! You will do battle with me!” the man said enthusiastically. “Why, this takes me back to my younger days... I’ll beat you with my years of experience!”

    “...Ok, we’ll battle,” Wes said, also glad that he wouldn’t be engulfed by the veterans like Rui had, as they moved to make space for the battle. Espeon and Umbreon also moved to Wes’s side, Umbreon bemoaning the fact that he was no longer getting petted.

    “Ah yes. I remember when I got my starter Pokemon. Yes, I was one excited youngster back then. I was to get my Pokemon from the local professor that day, but would you believe it, I had slept in! I had rushed to get to the lab, only to find out that he had run out of starter Pokemon too! But then it turned out that apparently he had one more Pokemon left, and that it was a rare, shiny Pokemon...” the man said, with a smile.

    “Um... are we going to battle?” Wes asked, wondering why he was reciting his life story.

    “Oh, he’s always like that – once he starts he never stops,” an old woman advised to Wes.

    “Unfortunately, it turned out that the Pokemon he had had run off, so I went back home and watched television all day.”

    “...I see,” Wes said. “So, are we going to-”

    “The next day,” he continued, “I was going down to the shops when I ended up encountering another Pokemon. The poor thing had been severely injured by running at full speed into a tree. Being the good Samaritan I was, I took the Pokemon to the local Pokemon Centre and made sure it fully recovered.”

    “Espeon - Espi!” (Whoop-de-do, old man – get on with it already!) Espeon rudely interjected.

    “I then asked it if it wanted to join me on my journey as I needed a Pokemon. But it declined.” The man paused for a moment, then looked at Wes and smiled. “My name’s Skof! Hey, you want a battle?”

    “I’m not sure anymore...” Wes began, before Skof scoffed at him.

    “Nonsense – everyone wants to battle me! Look at my Pokemon!” Skof said, before producing two Pokeballs. Then he paused, looking at them curiously. “This Pokeball,” he said, raising one in the air, “I had bought a long time ago from the local shop. It was exactly thirteen years ago to the day. Oh maybe it was fourteen... or fifteen...” he muttered, as Wes shook his head in annoyance.

    “AHA!” Skof shouted suddenly, causing Wes to jump. “It was twelve years ago!” he said triumphantly. “Ah yes, those were the days... I believe I had originally gone to buy some blue cheese, but-”

    “Can you send out your Pokemon already?” Wes asked loudly. The man looked curiously at his Pokeballs.

    “But I hadn’t told you how I got this other Pokeball,” he said simply. “You see, this was a curious tale. I got up in the morning that day and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three, medium brown...oh, all right, I’ll send them out,” he said, noticing that the group of elderly people watching the battle becoming impatient. “Go, Machop and Seedot!” he shouted, finally sending out two Pokemon. Both looked tiredly at Espeon and Umbreon – the gray, humanoid Machop which seemed out of battle practise lazily waved an arm at them, perhaps trying to look intimidating, while the Seedot – which looked like a large, fat acorn – yawned at them.

    “Now, this Seedot here fell on top of my head one day when I went for a walk,” Skof said, falling back into his ranting.

    “Um... Espeon and Umbreon, take out the Machop!” Wes commanded.

    “Yes, he sure did, the little rascal,” Skof said, not noticing the Machop begin to succumb to Espeon’s and Umbreon’s well-co-ordinated attacks, while the Seedot merely sat there and observed. “I had just been walking, enjoying the sunshine, musing to myself about the time I had entered a fishing contest. Oh, that had been a grand time. First, I went to buy a fishing rod. I walked all of twenty miles to the next town just to find a suitable fishing shop to buy it from. I didn’t like the local one because the building had too many windows. I wrote a long letter to the council about it, but they ignored me. So I wrote a really long letter about how there was too much rain that year and sent that to them as well. But the lazy buggers didn’t do anything about it, of course.

    "Anyway, I made the trip, only to find that I had not brought enough money to buy the fishing rods there. So I went to the bank. It turned out to be closed however, which was very disappointing...oh, what – you fainted my Machop? Eh, return, you lazy thing...” he said, noticing his Machop had fallen to Espeon and Umbreon. “Yes, it sure looks like you beat my Machop. I gave her a nickname, I believe. Yes, good old Julio Pfalzgraf…”

    “Umbre?” (Julio?)

    “Espeon?” (Pfalzgraf?)

    “Yes, there’s an interesting story behind that name…”

    “Maybe next time,” Wes said hurriedly. “Can we finish the battle? Please?” he added, pleadingly.

    “You young people, always wanting to finish things now. The slow and steady win the race! Go, Furret!” he said sending another Pokemon out. It looked around, only to cry in surprise to see Umbreon and Espeon already jump on it and attack it. Wes just watched, shaking his head – there was no need for him to even give advice to his Pokemon. They knew enough after all those years how to battle by themselves, and Skof’s seemingly slow Pokemon were no match at all; especially without any guidance from their trainer.

    “Now, where was I? Ah yes. I stood outside the bank for three days waiting for them to open. Finally they did, so I went inside, but it turned out that it had been a cunning trap set by my rival. Everyone then had a rival – it was some sort of tradition for trainers to have one. Back then nobody used the word ‘rival’ because it hadn’t been invented yet, so we called them ‘the enemy’ instead. ‘I’ve gone to have some orange juice with the enemy’ we’d say to our mothers. Anyway that term fitted my rival quite well for he was always out to get me. I suppose it was due to the time when I had declined to share my crayons with him in pre-school, and we were rivals ever since. Why, one time he had tried to overcome me by tricking his Zangoose into believing I was a Seviper! I believe he had confused it somehow. But I overcame it in the end, with nothing but a garden hose and an orange.

    “Anyway, he had trapped me inside the bank. I knew it was him because of the way the door had closed behind me. It wasn’t just locked, you see – it was really locked. Inside the bank was nothing save for his rampaging Tyranitar, but I defeated it with my bare hands. Then I exited through the back door, and went back home. The next day I went to my local fishing shop and bought myself a fishing rod. Ah yes, it was a fine rod. I believe I had been reminded of it when I had been going on a walk. That was when I met my Seedot. I was merely walking, minding my own business, when all of a sudden – DONK! – it hit me right in the head! Didn’t you, you stupid acorn!” he shouted, pointing at his Seedot. “What, you’ve fainted already?” he asked it, before he realised his Furret had already fallen to Wes’s Pokemon as well.

    “Right, maybe we can go now, Rui, and meet your grandparents...” Wes yawned as he turned away from Skof, feeling somewhat tired by the battle, despite not having had to do anything. Even Plusle had fallen asleep, as well as a number of the old people who had been watching.

    “Hey, can I battle you, Wes?” an old woman asked, emerging from the group suddenly.

    “...No, thank you,” Wes said, frowning at this suggestion. Skof was currently telling off his Seedot, and Wes had had enough of listening to anecdotes.

    “But I really want to battle you-”

    “Hey look – is that a Gym Leader?” Wes said suddenly, peering into the distance with a smile, pretending to see someone in the distance. His smile faded however as she remained where she was.

    “So what? I was a Gym Leader myself back in the days. Yes, that was a fine life...”

    “Umm,” Rui interjected, also anxious to avoid another delay. She had enough of having her arm nearly shaken off by over-friendly people telling her she was much taller than what she had been years ago. “Look... it’s...” she began, trying to come up with a name. “It’s... Ash Ketchum!” she finally said, saying the first name that came into her head.

    “ARRGH!” screamed the woman, running away with seemingly genuine fear. The other veterans who weren’t asleep followed suit, with shouts of ‘Not him!’ heard from the departing swarm.

    Wes blinked. “Why did they...”

    “I don’t know,” Rui said quietly, confused by this. “It’s just the name of some character from a kids' show I watched... but we’re rid of them, right?”

    “Esp. Espeon!” (Yes, that’s right. Let’s go to your grandparents’ house before they return!)

    “Plusle!” (And then let’s eat some potatoes!)

    “Ok,” Rui said. “I’m not quite sure exactly where they live though...” Rui said, looking around.

    “Hmm. This may take some time,” Wes said.

    “Oh, wait – there it is!” Rui cried, running off into the distance. Wes sighed, and ran after her, lugging her heavy bags with him up several hills, while noticing that it was beginning to get dark.

    “See?” Rui said, stopping suddenly by a level clearing after some minutes, near a towering tree. Wes looked around.

    “Umm, Rui... where’s the house?”

    “It’s the tree, silly!” she said, beaming. Wes blinked and gazed at it; now that he looked at it properly, at the base of the gray, colossal tree, there was a door and some windows cut through it revealing a hollow interior. Upon looking up through the thick branches and leaves that spanned endlessly towards the darkening sky, he also noticed an insignificant television antenna jammed into one of the topmost branches.

    “Espeon.” (Wow.)

    “Umbreon...” (So Rui’s grandparents DO live in a tree...)

    “Plus!” (Do potatoes grow up there?)

    “But... why do they live there?” Wes asked, astounded.

    “According to my parents, they used to live in this place called Fortree City, where people lived in trees as well. And apparently they didn’t have to pay to buy the tree rather than a house.”

    “Well, it’s hard to argue with financial benefits,” Wes conceded.

    “Let’s go inside,” Rui said. “It’s about time I got here.” Rui opened the door and held it open for Wes to come in, noticing his hands were full with the bags he had to carry. Grateful, Wes moved for the entrance, before his Pokemon rushed in before him.

    “Beluh! Eagun! I’m home!” Rui called, while Wes frowned at his Pokemon. He then continued once more, only to have the door slam in his face as Rui lost hold of the door, as her grandma suddenly arrived and hugged her.

    “Oh, it’s been so long! How are you? Are you ok after that kidnapping?” she said, while Wes rubbed his nose in annoyance. Recovering from this set-back, he managed to open the door himself and come in. He stopped short however, seeing Rui’s grandparents.

    Beluh looked normal enough as far as grandmothers went, or leastways how Wes supposed they would look generally. She was similar to the other old women Wes had saw before – she had the typical gray hair, small pair of glasses and a number of wrinkles upon her kind face women her age tended to have.

    But her grandfather was a sight to behold himself, although he seemed to fit into the setting of the inside of a hollow tree, which although was otherwise a normal-looking interior for a house, had a large array of teapots and cups scattered around the house. None of the walls were shaped vertically either, but followed the curves of the trunk and roots.

    Eagun’s look suited the unique and unorganised interior of their house. He had the appearance of one who had not discovered the razor – an impressive white beard was spouting off the bottom half of his face, which matched the equally white and long hair he had, gave him the appearance of an overage hippie. His choice of dress - a flowing robe in a striking deep purple – only helped to enhance this.

    “Welcome, Rui! Great to see you finally here, safe and sound! And who are you?” he asked Wes in a curious voice.

    “I’m Wes,” he replied. Is that beard... real?

    “You’re the man who rescued our Rui?” Beluh asked. “Yes, you are the one who did – we watched saw him on the television, didn’t we?” Beluh continued, nudging Eagun who now looked confused.

    “Why yes! You must be quite the trainer!” Eagun exclaimed, grabbing Wes’s arm and shaking it thoroughly.

    “Espeon!” (Hey, it was us Pokemon who did the hard work!) Espeon said, noticing that Eagun hadn’t even noticed him and Umbreon. He hadn’t noticed Plusle too, but Espeon didn’t think much of Plusle. Annoyed, Espeon gave Eagun a small, almost unnoticeable shock with his psychic powers.

    “Umbre!” (Don’t do that, Espeon!) Umbreon warned, noticing Espeon’s actions.

    “Esp,” (Be quiet; I can do what I want,) Espeon retorted. Umbreon shrugged, and then looked worryingly at Eagun who had begun to smile oddly. Beluh didn’t notice however, as she motioned for Rui and Wes to sit down on a sofa by a small wooden table and a television.

    “Maybe we should sit down and have some tea,” Beluh suggested. “And thank you, young man for your actions. If there’s anything at all we can...”

    “Umm, that’s ok,” Wes said. He wasn’t feeling very comfortable sitting inside a tree to begin with, and he didn’t really want anything from these strangers. Being away from the reporters in Pyrite – and the radio from the Zoomer – was enough for him anyway. And they’d probably be only able to give me some of those teapots lying around as well, he added silently to himself.

    “I’ll go get the teabags then!” Eagun eagerly said, nodding excessively and moving towards what Wes took to be the kitchen.

    “Lots of things excite him these days,” Beluh said. Rui was observing the house, Wes’s Pokemon and Plusle were carefully trying to find a place to sit without knocking over any of the clutter around the house, and Wes was looking with bemusement at Eagun, unable to ignore his beard, nor the fact that he appeared to be juggling teapots instead of getting the teabags.

    “Umbreon...” (Look, he’s gone mad, Espeon...) Umbreon said quietly to Espeon, also noticing Eagun’s actions.

    “Espeon Espi- Esp,” (Calm down, I wouldn’t have affected him with such little- oh dear,) Espeon responded.

    “So, what do you think of Agate Village so far, Rui?” Beluh asked.

    “The people are very...um, welcoming,” Rui managed, resisting the urge to add ‘too welcoming’ as well.

    “Found the teabags!” Eagun said loudly, before he started making the tea by tossing all of the teabags he had found into a teapot.

    “You’ve grown a lot since you were last here...” Beluh continued, while Rui sighed to herself. I heard that a lot today, she thought. I hope they won’t bring that fact up too often...

    “Anyway, Rui,” Beluh continued, “why did you get kidnapped – do you know? All we heard was something about Team Snagem and Shadow Pokemon some other people called Cipher... those interviewers didn’t seem very professional.”

    “Well,” Rui began, “when I was coming over originally, I saw some people using this really angry Pokemon, which turned out to be a Shadow Pokemon-”

    “Pokeyman?” Eagun interrupted suddenly, his eyes suddenly lighting up as he threw the teapot behind himself haphazardly, which luckily landed upright into a sofa, miraculously not spilling any tea. “Pokeyman!?”

    Uh oh, Wes thought, wondering what Rui’s grandfather would do next.

    “You mean the ‘pokey’ and the ‘man’ and the thing where the guy comes out of the thing and then he...” Eagun raved loudly, before he started mumbling incoherently.

    “Dear, I don’t think you had your medication...” Beluh said quietly, while Rui stared.

    “Umbreon!” (Undo whatever you did, Espeon!) Umbreon shouted.

    “Espeon, what did you do?” Wes asked suddenly, overhearing Umbreon.

    “Espeon!” (Shut up, I’m fixing it already!) Espeon said hurriedly, preparing to do just so.

    “Oh ah ah ah ah!” Eagun replied in a deep voice, starting to flap his hands behind his ears, seemingly imitating a Pokemon.


    A short time afterwards, Eagun had calmed down, Beluh proclaiming that he had also had too much sugar, unaware that Espeon had a hand in it. Wes knew however, silently giving Espeon a look that communicated to him that he probably wouldn’t be eating his favourite food for a long while. Eagun had seemed to put his actions behind him though, as if he had forgotten all about them, and he was now sitting down with Wes, Rui and his wife. Wes and Rui had just recounted their own versions of the recent events they had gone through, as they drank tea from cups, and Eagun directly from the teapot. Wes was bemused by his eccentricity that he seemed to have even when not affected by Espeon - but he’s no longer throwing teapots around at least. And isn’t nearly everyone in this region crazy anyway? he dismissed after a while. However, he found that Eagun’s beard was almost as distracting as Miror B’s afro had been.

    “So... Cipher made these Shadow Pokemon, and you happen to have snagged some, young man,” Eagun said, thinking about what he had just heard.

    “Yes, that’s right,” Wes said, still distracted by the beard. “We’ve beard – I mean, been... purifying them for a while now, and they’re getting less and less like Shadow Pokemon. But we can’t get over that final hurdle just yet,” he finished. I wonder how long he’s been growing that for?

    “And,” Rui added, “we also got some news from a fortune teller. She said that apparently the key to purifying them for good is here, in Agate.”

    “Really? Interesting...” Eagun mused.

    “Plus...Plusle?” (Sorry to interrupt and all, but... where are my potatoes?)

    “Espeon,” (Be quiet – you’re not the only one hungry here,) Espeon muttered, lying down on the ground and eyeing the small Plusle, while Umbreon muttered something about bacon in his sleep.

    “Plus! Plus!” (But I’m hungry now! And the tree tastes horrible!) At this, Espeon sat up.

    “Esp?” (You tried to eat the tree?) he asked.

    Then abruptly, Eagun snapped his fingers, causing all to suddenly sit up.

    “Aha! I think what you should do is talk to Senilor! See, I believe what might be the key is nothing other than the Relic Stone here.”

    “The Relic Stone?” Rui asked. Wes meanwhile was still absorbed by Eagun’s beard. Did it just move? he thought, frowning.

    “Yes. It is a shrine to the great legendary Pokemon Celebi. It’s a pretty important icon we have here in Agate, and whenever I visit it...” Eagun’s voice trailed off for a moment. “I just get this feeling of calm. There’s definitely something in that, but Senilor would know far more about it than I.”

    “Well, why not?” Rui said. “Let’s go and see him right now!”

    “Then it’s decided,” Eagun proclaimed, getting up. “He always goes out to eat at the local restaurant, so we’ll meet him there.”

    “Plus! Plusle!” (Yay food! Food is tasty I like food!)

    “Umm, Eagun?” Wes asked suddenly, in a somewhat strained voice.


    “What is that inside your...beard?”

    “This?” Eagun asked, suddenly pulling a fat, yellow object out of his beard, to Wes’s horror. “This here is my starter Pokemon! A Pikachu!” The Pokemon in question yawned, not seeming to find a beard a strange spot to sleep in at all. Wes merely stared, wondering if there was anything else inside of Eagun’s beard, while Plusle suddenly jumped up and studied the Pikachu.

    “Plus Plusle!” (You’re old and you look fat!) Plusle concluded after a while.

    “Pika! Pi...” (No I’m not! I just... umm...) Pikachu defended. Espeon merely rolled his eyes, muttering to himself about electric rodents.

    “Plus!” (You ate all my potatoes, didn’t you?)

    “That’s your starter Pokemon?” Wes asked disbelievingly.

    “I think it gained weight since I last saw her,” Rui said, poking Pikachu’s belly.

    “Plusle!” (Fatty fatty fat fat!)

    “Pikachu!” (Hey, that’s not fair!)

    “She’s in retirement, like me,” Eagun declared. “But in her day she won me many a match.” Eagun then pulled a small box out of his pocket, and opened it. Wes peered into it, as Eagun chuckled.

    “See? Look at all of these badges!” Eagun boasted.

    “But grandpa,” Rui said, “those are bottle caps.”

    “Oh. So they are,” Eagun mumbled, closing the box. “Where did I put it... umm... hey let’s go to that restaurant! It’s getting late!” With that, Eagun walked out of the room with Beluh following. Wes and Rui exchanged glances.

    “Yes, I know. They’re odd and all...” Rui began, before Wes grinned.

    “Heck, I bet they’re better than no grandparents at all. Although I hope I never see someone pull a Pikachu out of the beard like that again,” Wes said, shuddering.

    “I suppose you’re right,” Rui acknowledged. “Anyway, we better go now...” They made to leave, wondering what they’d learn from Senilor.

    “Oh, and Espeon?” Wes said to him as they left.

    “Esp?” (Yes?) Espeon asked innocently, which Wes smiled lightly at.

    “Look – be careful with your psychic powers, is all. No point using it on people just for fun.”

    “Espeon...” (Clearly you’ve never experienced the fun of it yourself then...) Espeon pointed out.

    ‘Maybe – but let’s only do it when we have to. And not when some innocent bystanders get affected by it as well – Eagun took it... weirdly.”

    “Esp,” (Fine,) Espeon conceded.

    “Oh – and you’re not allowed to eat that brand of food you like... whatever the name of it was – for a month.”

    “Espeon.” (Bugger.)


    The restaurant was rather busy, and it took a while for the group to find a table. Gradually though they were ushered to one, while the Pokemon were also directed to a separate area where they could eat as well. Plusle was currently happily eating a large plate full of potatoes, as Espeon tried to block out its squeaks of pure, giddy happiness.

    “Maku!” (Die!) Makuhita shouted loudly, punching his food as he ate.

    “Croc!” (Do you have to do that?) Croconaw asked sceptically, as some of the food splattered onto him.

    “Umbreon?” (Maybe he likes his food mashed?) Umbreon suggested, noticing that Makuhita hadn’t paid Croconaw’s question any notice.

    “Espeon,” (I think it’s more he likes punching his food more than eating it,) Espeon remarked.

    “Plusle!”(Hey, that’s my food, fatty!) Plusle suddenly shouted at Eagun’s Pikachu, who having already finished her meal had come to sniff Plusle’s potatoes.

    “Pikachu,” (But I’m still hungry,) Pikachu moaned.

    “Croc!” (Then get some more from elsewhere, you silly, fat thing,) Croconaw sniffed.

    “Pika!” (Stop calling me fat!) Pikachu cried, picking up one of Plusle’s potatoes and throwing it at Croconaw clumsily, only for it to hit another Pokemon nearby, who grunted and returned it back at Pikachu with interest.

    “Plusle!” (No! Potatoes are for eating, not throwing!)

    “UMBRE!” (FOOD FIGHT!) Umbreon shouted suddenly, flicking a piece of food at Plusle.

    “Makuhita!” (I fight for my friends!) Makuhita agreed with a sudden grin, throwing some of his food at Croconaw. Soon, all the Pokemon around joined in, as Plusle hopped around his plate anxiously trying to defend his other potatoes. Espeon rolled his eyes at them all before using a small Reflect attack so he wouldn’t be hit while he ate, and Pikachu quietly ate some of the thrown food in a corner, content.

    Unknowing of the chaos occurring on the other side of the restaurant, Wes and Rui were currently observing Eagun and another man – Senilor – talk. Senilor had an odd look, with a bright blue Hawaiian shirt and an awkward-looking hat, matching his equally awkward-looking smile.

    “Anyway, Senilor...” Eagun said, “we were wondering if you had any more information on the Relic stone? Only they are interested,” he concluded, motioning to Rui and Wes.

    “Ah, yes. Your name was... hmm, what was your name? Are you Eagun’s Treecko?” he asked Rui with a smile. Rui and Wes sighed – it hadn’t been the first time that Senilor displayed a poor memory, having introduced himself as a Wobbuffett earlier on, then forgetting that he was a customer, having tried to have served the waiter his food. The poor waiters, Wes mused, looking at one with pity who was currently dealing with a person by a nearby table.

    “I’m telling you, there is too much meat in this meat pie!”

    “...I see,” replied the waiter.

    “And there’s a fly in my soup too!”

    “...No, there isn’t,” the waiter said, observing the man’s soup.

    “You think you’re smart, don’t you, sonny-Jim?”

    “Or are you Treecko’s Eagun?” Senilor said.

    “My name’s Rui,” she said patiently.

    “Rui? That’s a funny name for a Treecko,” Senilor mused. “But anyway; the Relic Stone! I don’t remember names all that well, but I’ll never forget something as important as that!” With that, Senilor stood up, and left the table, before walking out of the door.

    “...Wait – where are you going?” Rui cried, surprised by this action by Senilor. Even Eagun looked confused by this behaviour. However Senilor promptly returned, with a large book in his arms. Triumphantly, he dropped the book on top of Rui’s plate of food with a loud thump, and then gave another lopsided smile. Wes peered at the spine of the book, trying to make out the words through the dust that clung to it.

    “‘A Thousand and One Useless Facts about the Relic Stone’,” Wes read out loud.

    “It’s a good book,” Senilor insisted. “It should tell you all you need to know. Plus, I don’t have to remember what it says!”

    “Well, we’ll take a look...” Wes said uncertainly. Then he glanced sideways, noticing the man who had been complaining was now demanding more salt and pepper shakers, despite already having half a dozen of each.

    “My food is now squashed,” Rui complained, lifting the heavy book.

    “Eagun, I didn’t know your Wurmple could talk!” Senilor said, surprised.

    “Hey – what’s that?” Wes asked, looking across the room. The food fight was spreading beyond the Pokemon’s section now, potatoes and other food filling the air.

    “Maybe we should leave,” Beluh suggested.

    “That’s a good idea,” Rui said, agreeing as she picked up the book and then ran for the exit with the others, ducking once to avoid a piece of food.

    “I demand satisfaction!” the customer who had been complaining shouted, before the potato Rui had avoided hit him square in the face.


    And that's the chapter. As for the stuff in here and the game (or not):
    The Zoomer - it seems to have the magical ability to travel halfway across the region in the space of five seconds in the game. Methinks not, hence a longer trip for Wes. It doesn't necessarily have a radio either (radio stations don't feature in the game), but if there's a television station, and vehicles tend to have the radio - even weird, hovering ones like the Zoomer.

    Agate Village - one of the nicer places in the game - well, better than Pyrite Town in that it's neat and tidy. A lot of green grass everywhere you look, and a lot of hills too. It also has its fair share of wacky NPCs. In the game it's a place where retired, elderly people who were trainers in their prime (apparently) live.

    Old welcoming people - just took into account Agate would have a lot of people like the others in the game who gladly welcome you, like the first guy Wes and Rui sees (who is in the game and says similar things). A fair amount of those aren't based on anyone, what with their one-liners.

    That guy with the berries - there is an NPC who'll give you a berry - sometimes the odd rare one - to you each time you come to Agate Village and talk to him. He says his Taillow brought them from away, while the Taillow in questions sits on the ground looking at the man. Possibly none too happily either. Heck, I'd be annoyed if someone kept giving my lunch away.

    Woman with Mightyena - yes - there is an NPC who tells you that his Mightyena is her boyfriend. If you talk to it, it growls - possibly annoyed, maybe?

    Skof - a trainer in Agate who battles you the moment you talk to him. He has a Machop, Seedot and a Furret, and I expanded on him a tad, giving him a tendency to speak a lot. (Credit to Zadros who discovered the name 'Julio Pfalzgraf').

    The tree - yes - Rui's grandparents, unlike everyone else, DO live in a tree, which is in the centre of the town. And why not live in a place that is essentially for free?

    Rui's Grandparents - Beluh and Eagun. The former isn't that notable - she thanks Wes for saving Rui, and frets about her husband, but that's about it. Eagun is the more interesting, who does have impressive white hair and a beard. Which I might have slightly exaggerated... :p He also does have a Pikachu, which does actually look fat. (Thank Genius Sorority for reusing the same model for him since Stadium!). It also says 'Biggah' when you talk to it... a few other things seem to suggest that Pikachu is a bit old as well.

    Senilor - a character who consistently forgets things, calling you things like Treecko and so forth. Yet oddly, it is this NPC who is entrusted to tell you important information which he remembers. Hmm. Hence the book - all he needs to remember is that all the answers on the Relic stone are there, rather than all that info on said Relic Stone.

    Relic Stone - you'll learn more next chapter. :p
    Hope you enjoyed it - until the next chapter, farewell!
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2009
  19. fishyfool

    fishyfool And a nice chianti


    Very amusing as always. The whole Zoomer scene and those goddamn PC signs amused me greatly, and as always, this has amused me.

    Expect a proper fully-arsed review later.
  20. psyrose3

    psyrose3 Well-Known Member

    This page of crit is massive. DEAL WITH IT.

    Logic must die, Espeon. That's what I think.

    ...Low on lemonade, set to explode, and has a radio?! @_@ Good gravy, man, what have you DONE?!?

    So I hear ya like mudkipz? NO?!? What about clichéd Eevee starters? 8D

    It's just a tad too late to say that, bnb... A tad very too late...

    This is the retelling of Pokémon Colosseum, not the retelling of Super Smash Bros Melee! GET WITH THE PROGRAM! XD

    T_T Not the tacos...I like tacos...

    No...comment... *right eyebrow twitches*


    Now THAT is epic sig material! XDDDDDDDDDD

    What the heck...?

    I just found this when I was looking for good crit material. o_O


    What friends?

    And that's the only Pikachu that says that? ._.

    Hey, that's what I did about two months before joining here... @_@

    And THAT's a wrap.


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