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The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum

Discussion in 'Completed Fics' started by bobandbill, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. Lol.

    With whom?

    I wish I lived in the 1930s.


    Nice touch of comedy there. =))


    Other side?

    I really love the cameos. =))

    Not as great as Twelve, but really awesome chapter, dude. ;)
  2. Stoc15

    Stoc15 Leon is Pro!

    Good chapter. I've been reading the previous chapters, and they seem to be as hillarous as the chapters in the beginning. Espeon accidently hitting the sign and Umbreon asking him about the sign was pretty funny, by the way. Keep up the good work!
  3. many form man

    many form man Falcon Punch!!

    As always, I loved the chapter, but there was a small thing that bugged the grammar-obsessed person I am:

    ...Yeah. Sorry for the late reply, I had to leave for school while in the middle of reading it. And about the lack of criticism, I'm just bad at critiquing, sorryz. :C
  4. The Great Butler

    The Great Butler Hush, keep it down

    Oh man. Eagun alone made this win, but the continuing offbeat humor is just....wow. It's really, really funny.
  5. Diddy

    Diddy Renegade

    Okay you've twisted my arm.

    I will read your fic.

    I need a laugh, anyways.


    EDIT: First of all, I hate the fact your PM list has its own area code. Secondly, BEWARE, THIS FIC HAS SHARP EDGES. I personally prefer the 'sign not in use' sign. lol

    Anyway, this was a truly great way to waste my afternoon. I didn't think I would ever use this phrase when applied to anything, but this thing seriously gave me giggle-fits.

    From the echo that says shut up, Tom, the wacky NPC's of Pyrite town, Johnson and almost every other character you expand upon. It just makes this thing Laugh Out Loud good.

    Miror B. as always, deserves his own section. The guy actually has a personality, he's the guy you love to love. He disco dances, listens to crazy salsa beats, annoys the hell out of evil guys and has been awarded 'Scariest thing for a new secretary to see on her first day' three years in a row. He's random, he's wacky, he's obligatory, He's Miror B.

    Give yourself a pat on the back dear sir.
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2009
  6. Excitable Boy

    Excitable Boy is a metaphor

    Should be "A Thousand and One Useless Facts about the Relic Stone'. And should not be capitalized.

    I think Umbreon might be a bit slow. And I'm not just talking about in battle.

    I don't want to know. DEW YEW LIEK MUDKIPZ?!?!

    Yay, ads! I don't see what Umbreon's so worried about.

    Wow, very convincing ad!

    Tacos? Chicken? TACOS? TWO FOR THE PRICE OF THREE?!?! Mmmmmm... and they make one whole taco per hour! Supercool, man!

    I wonder if he worked at the Loan Sharks company in his youth? Maybe he made the ads.

    He... wh-wh-wh-why... NO! NOOOOOO!!! PLEASE, NO!

    Oh yeah, that thing, where the guy does the thing to the thing and the other guy does a thing until one guy does a thing where the thing does the thing to the guy...

    And Wes JUST noticed that fat load inside of his beard?

    You mean the Joe's Joint brand tacos?

    No, that's Plusle.

    Is Makuhita in Brawl?

    I think the waiters are too stupid.

    Poor guy, I would demand it too, what with all the bad service. At least he gets a free potato!

    Oh, and either Eagun has a magical gender-changing Pikachu, or he just can't remember the gender of it, because:

    I'm guessing the latter, though.

    Stone should be capitalized.
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2009
  7. DarkPersian479

    DarkPersian479 Well-Known Member

    The rates suck, but at least we got a pineapple!

    Caution: This review may contain sharp edges.

    The one grammar thing that caught my horribly bloodshot eye:
    Other money-stealing agencies, huh? Like Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC for example? Wow... if you can't trust a seemingly nice guy like Bernie, I guess you certainly can't trust guys with oversized mallets.

    I guess desperate financial times drive people to do crazy stuff like that.

    Wow, I didn't realize he was old enough to be living in Agate, lol

    Ah, nice pun on the guy's name XD

    Wow... there's something wrong with that statement. "Yeah, I'm gonna have some juice with my enemy, then maybe later we'll try to blow each other's brains out. Hopefully I'll make it back before curfew."

    Admittedly, I would have liked to have seen that. There may be more to Skof than meets the eye.

    Trust me, Eagun acts bizarre enough without Espeon's interference. I mean, pulling a Pikachu out of his beard? That sounds like something some oddball magician might do.

    Oh, yes, fat Pikachu FTW. Her diet might explain why she gets pwned by Skrub's Hitmontop despite the level advantage.

    I'm not a big fan of food fights (blame it on having too many of 'em during school lunch way back when) but seeing Plusle trying to protect the precious potatoes is full of win as well. Even though it failed to protect said potatoes.

    Well, I can't think of any good way to wrap up this review, so I'll just say "great chapter" and
  8. Zincspider

    Zincspider My Bloody

    YES! A Brawl reference! And from my main too!
  9. Night_Umbreon

    Night_Umbreon Oh god! The imagery!

    Well, here I am. Sorry for not reviewing the last chapter, I've beard been busy.

    Meh, don't mind If this chapter wasn't very eventful. It was still as funny, quirky and unbelieveably random as ever. :D

    Anyway, onto best bits:

    Just had to comment on your description here. Very nice imagery.

    There it is, the first 'belly-laugh' of the day. :p

    Lemonade-fueled transport? The future is here!! (?)

    Is this a comment on the current economic crisis? A crack seems to have appeared in the fourth wall...

    Agh! And another one!

    The 'DISHWASHERS!' line alone made me laugh for about 3 minutes straight.


    That ad went on for a long time...

    Who on Earth wrote that last sign?

    Oh, the hilarity!

    Pineapples seem to be seeded throughout this fic. Could this possibly mean something? O______O

    Plus all the other rants = lol.

    Always though Eagun looked a tad strange.

    Psychic powers. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

    “Plus...Plusle?” (Sorry to interrupt and all, but... where are my potatoes?)


    Ok, that was unexpected...

    It's the fatty dance!! (Scrubs reference)

    One would think so...

    This pretty much sums up Agate Village, doesn't it?

    “Eagun, I didn’t know your Wurmple could talk!” Senilor said, surprised.


    Relic stone next time. We're getting into some major plot points now, I guess. Concerning the shadow Pokemon? *cough*
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2009
  10. Gardevoir Girl

    Gardevoir Girl is NOT a girl

    I read this a few days ago and got distracted, but I'm finally here with my usual substandard review. :)

    No errors I picked up this time, just a few good points:

    Reminds me of the days when I thought the oil symbol in the car meant it needed gravy...

    Don't you just love it when you're listening to something quiet and suddenly the radio screams at you?

    Love that name.

    I'd run too, to be honest. XD

    I think 'oh dear' sums it up pretty well.

    Both very interesting. And I always did wonder where Eagun kept his Pikachu before he battled with it, since he has a curious lack of pockets on his robe.

    Anyway, good work and very entertaining. Next time I'll try to review sooner.
  11. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Thanks for the reviews, all. I might have a few review reply out of order. Meh. Now for the generic spoiler tag...
    Yay, it amused. But where's that fully-arsed review? ;) No matter - good to know you read and liked, really. =)
    Random name was random. Therefore it had to go in the chapter, naturally. =P
    Maybe..... :/
    Cheers for the quote-filled review - good to see what people liked.
    Yay, you picked up on it! Although I don't use him that much (this actually doubles as an in-joke between me and friends at school, heh).
    Thanks for the warning.
    Depends... is this Bernard available in Orre?
    He's crazy enough. -_-
    Was wondering if someone would comment on that. Nice pick.
    Yeah, that needs some explaining. Although in the game it always does darn Quick Attack, so it's no wonder.

    Anyways, thanks once again for the great review. =)
    They're ok.
    You clearly have not experianced the radio stations I have where I live. -_-
    It makes them one of the most successful fast food joints in the whole of Orre!
    Who knows? Or maybe he took a loan out with them.
    That part you're referring to was actually a direct reference to an episode of The Simpsons and their version of good old Bill Cosby. :D
    It was well-hidden. -_-
    ...yes. (Yay more people picked up on it and said so).
    Erm, the latter *certainly hasn't changed it with the power of the edit button*
    Thanks for the review!
    You must be mistaken - I don't twist arms. I break them. =P
    It does? Sorry about that.
    Yay, giggle-fits. :D
    Glad you liked it, and also the awesomeness that is Miror B too. Cheers for reading and reviewing. :D
    Thanks, good to hear. And someone liked Eagun, hurrah. :D
    Well, cheers for reading and also pointing out the mistake. *fixes*
    Thanks you. Good that I'm still entertaining some despite my breaks. >_<
    I'm not surprised.
    That's duncan. =P
    Cheers, thanks for reviewing again. :D
    That's ok - and good that it still entertains. I was a bit worried about that...
    Thanks... not that I do much description. -_-
    The pollution given off by it though is a setback. =P
    You could say that...
    XD I thought it was amusing... ah, the radio is good for something - lending me inspiration for jokes!
    Either that, or it just started again.
    The invisible people, no doubt. =P
    I shall confess - the 'sharp edges' sign isn't mine, but a reference to a pic I saw of a sign ages back of a sign also warning about sharp edges. XD
    True - even the Ludicolo look like pineapples. There is no escape from them...
    Someone agrees!
    What? Shadow Pokemon? Why, never! =P
    Cheers for the review too =)
    Ah yes, I also remember mistaking signs for other things when I was younger. XD
    You share my pain! (Although for me it's more of the 'same few bad songs played to death' kind of pain).
    Thanks - and no need to be hasty in reviewing, btw. ;)
    I hope that's everyone... but thanks again, everyone!
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2009
  12. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner Peace to the Mountain

    But I overcame it in the end, with nothing but a garden hose and an orange.

    The radio scene made me laugh, first of all, what with its station's failure to play any actual music and the kind of... er, stuff it played instead. X3 Heh, at least Wes didn't actually have to pay to listen to that... stuff after all. X3

    Skof was great. XD Wow, that sure was a great battle strategy he had there, yes indeedy... XP

    Senilor was pretty darned great, too, as was Eagun--especially when Espeon broke the latter's brain. XD

    ...Nice. X3



    Are you sure that's not just the vehicle's "Magic Fingers" feature, Wes? XP

    Redundancy ftw. ^^

    XD Reminds me of our local rock station, except said rock station's more like "All Your Favorite Commercials with Only Limited Musical Interruption!" X3

    Yep, and now it's sounding even more like that rock station... X3

    ...If I ever actually heard that spoken aloud, I would laugh so fricking hard... XDDDD

    Fwee for pineapples. X3

    Umbreon's line there cracked me up more than it perhaps should have. XDD

    Ah, but do you have tacos? XP

    A line that's especially awesome out of context. XD

    Mmm, ash trays. XP

    Another line that's especially awesome out of context. XD


    Seconds later, there was an audible crack followed by a feminine scream. The man didn't seem to hear those, either.


    These darned letterboxes today have no respect for a man's property! :mad:

    There's another thing that made me laugh more than it perhaps should have. XDD


    Cheese: one of the pillars of comedy, and a member of the League of Fundamentally Funny Foods.


    Yes, and it's its own being. Unlike Miror B.'s hair, however, that beard is completely harmless and an herbivore.

    Hilarious image there. XD

    Yay, you broke his brain! ^^

    X3 Nice reference. And what I especially like about that bit there was the face that Eagun was described as having after saying, "Pokeyman?" the first time. That was another hilarious Eagun-related image, just the thought of him making that face and saying that. XDD And then, on top of all that, he went and threw that teapot. XD

    ...When I read that, what I heard out of Eagun was the... well, the noise that David makes in Disturbed's "Down with the Sickness". XDDDD If you haven't heard that song, listen to it--you'll know the noise I'm referring to when you hear it, I'm quite sure.

    Such is the nature of hair-entities.


    Bacon is also a member of the League of Fundamentally Funny Foods.

    So I guess trees taste nothing at all like potatoes, then. X3

    No need to fear, Wes. Just offer it a nice carrot or something and it'll warm right up to you in no time. ^^

    It's quite common for beard-entities and small pokémon to form symbiotic relationships; the pokémon helps fend off parasitic insects and in turn not only gets a nice, warm shelter but also gets to enjoy the little scraps of food that the beard leaves behind.

    Better than the sight of a mareep-skeleton being pulled out of a giant afro...

    X3 Awesome.


    That does it--the next treecko I acquire in-game will be named after Rui. Even if it's male. X3

    XDD And that's another situation where the face the character's making when or near when they do something funny (e.g. Senilor's face there at the end of that excerpt) makes it all the funnier. XD

    Senilor = win. XD

    I love that bolded phrase. X3 I also love how the guy got bonked in the face with a frelling potato (especially since my mind imagined that happening with a classic "cream pie splat" sound effect for some reason o_O). XD And something that makes the potato to the face all the more awesome is that THAT was the image with which the chapter concluded--frelling awesome note to end on there. I love it. X3

    So yeah, that was a fun read. ^^ Congrats on another enjoyable chapter!
  13. heatran_ran

    heatran_ran Lost in Ilex Forest

    A brilliant story. Please add me to your pm list. Brilliant personalities, funniest fic ive ever read. sorry... i'm too busy re-reading this fic to type up a full review.

    EDIT: Yay 50th post
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2009
  14. Missingno. Master

    Missingno. Master Poison-type Trainer

    Dang, I found this piece of literary gold on the fifth page!

    I'd like to be added to the PM list- This thing is GOOD!
  15. Dabottle

    Dabottle AKA Ados.

    This whole fic is win. The Signs were just hilarious and the radio. Pineapples lol and the Sharp Edges- I laughed for ages. The food fight was amazing. I have to keep reading it. Great Fic.

    PS: Skof was hilarious
  16. Dabottle

    Dabottle AKA Ados.

    This whole fic is win. The Signs were just hilarious and the radio. Pineapples lol and the Sharp Edges- I laughed for ages. The food fight was amazing. I have to keep reading it. Great Fic.

    PS: Skof was hilarious

    Why was everyone afraid of Ash?
  17. Luminous

    Luminous Truly Altruistic

    Welcome to this post!! Here, have a pineapple!

    This entire fic is made of nothing but Win.

    I've just started reading about four days ago, and I got to say... You are a genius!!!

    My parents had to keep coming to my room to check if I had gone into some cardiac arrest after I Laughed so hard after reading.

    Here are a couple of my favorite moments

    Its nice to see that Umbreon's attention span suites him very well.

    This almost Killed me. Lemonade? That was a stroke of brilliance there XD.

    Umbreon seems to be getting a fair share of this chapter as well XD.

    What!?!? Now this is an interesting tidbit that makes Hoenn that much more awesome.

    I'm convinced.


    In all, that entire scene was made of gold.


    And who can forget these?

    Hence the title.

    Anyways, Be sure to add me to the PM list, this is just to good to miss.
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2009
  18. growlithe_master

    growlithe_master <-- Ain't it cute?

    *comes out from the shadows*
    hi. i stumbled across the banner for your fanfic in your sig when you... uh... gave me an infraction point. i decided i would read what you have so far before commenting and so ive read everything so far. but i gotta say, YOU ARE A GENIUS, MAN! im not gonna review this because i hate reviewing and im not very good at it, but i will point out "win" moments.

    Tom= BIG WIN!!!!!!!
    Umbreon=BIG WIN!!!!!!!
    Shadowfying Process=BIGGEST WIN EVER!

    i love your fanfic! sign me up for the PM list pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    in fact im gonna subscribe also. *subscribes* still put me on the PM list though.
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2009
  19. Brumrha

    Brumrha Banned

    Before I actually begin to read this, there are a few things that I'd like to admit:

    First & foremost, I've never laid a finger on a copy of Colosseum & XD, much less played & beaten them. Even though I do have a GCN, I mostly used it for Metroid Prime & Timesplitters, as I got them before the Pokemon games grabbed my interest.

    Second, PG-rated fics generally aren't my bowl of soup, not that I like soup in the first place. This is because I'm into violence, especially the bloody kind. The reason why is because I've been playing FPS games for over ten years, & as a result, a maniacal bloodfrenzy has manifested inside my personality.

    However, I'm also into comedy, as this is basically the one most effective way to brighten up an otherwise dull day. So I'm going to continue on with reading this.

    So, I urge you to continue on with your work, as it would be very disappointing if you'd lose your motivation. The way I see it, if you can't finish your business, you're better off not even starting it to begin with...

    Full review will come whenever my time allows...
  20. Kurloz Makara

    Kurloz Makara Red Death

    Bobandbill, you are a comedy GENIUS!!!!

    The last chapter was EPIC! Eagun was so damn funny!!! Especially the "pokeyman" rant.

    I LOVE YOU, ESPEON!!!!!!

    ...Damn it. I REALLY shouldn't have eaten that chocolate earlier...


    Keep it up!;475;

    Oh yeah, I'm going to reread the fic just for the hell of it. Bye!

    Also, who's the Brawl reference? I only played it once, and I mainly used Lucario and Pit. (Don't ask why I used Pit.)
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2009

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