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The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum

Discussion in 'Completed Fics' started by bobandbill, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. ijea4444

    ijea4444 Well-Known Member

    you should make miror b's music like magic. like when miror b leaves the room the music magicly calms down. and when he is near they can hear the music and. so practically he has a magic radio stuck in his hair.
    And you should make the umbreon and espeon not talk at the sam etime. i mean do they always have to comment each other. not even twins do that.
  2. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Already toyed with the idea of a radio concealed in that afro of his, but a 'magic' radio? Not sure I will have a 'magic radio' - strays a bit too far. Besides, I already have Miror B's backstory planned :)

    Not sure by why Espeon and Umbreon making comments together is bad. Basically, they have been together since birth - or at least a very long time (note that if you check their stats, it says 'Wes' old friend'.). They quite possibly 'could' be twins, and besides Wes, don't have anyone else to talk to. Hence they comment each other. Note that not always do they both comment at the same time...
    Hope this explanation covers it - note that soon more may join the party.

    Also, I have fixed most (if not all) grammer mistakes that I could find in a few minutes.
  3. Zadros

    Zadros Incorrigible slacker

    I always wondered about some of these things, like the Skarmory. Good work.
  4. The Wizard of LOZ

    The Wizard of LOZ THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!

    This is good, I like it how you explain all the details of things that were previously unknown.
  5. Redcell

    Redcell Male version wanted

    Hey I noticed the reference to "Shadow"Pokemon.If I remember correctly(I rented this game only once)They DON'T know ther'e "Shadow" Pokemon til after a battle in Pyrite town.
  6. Jonah

    Jonah herd u liek mudkips?

    Yeah, but in the 100%-according-to-the-game version, Wes doesn't know what they're doing with the Pokemon he snags. In this fanfic, he does. And in the 100%-according-to-the-game version, there are no random mentions of pastries.


    I dunno why I find that funny, but I do.

    I didn't expect that.

    I knew it!


    Random pastry mentions are win.

    *horror music starts playing, and is promptly replaced with salsa music*


    IT. *rofl*

    I would too.

    I feel tempted to turn on my MP3 Player and listen to Miror B.'s salsa music right now.

    Moar pastries?

    The freakiest person in Pokemon...

    MIROR B.!

    The infamous afro.

    Which is what everyone says upon first encountering Miror B.


    No ceiling is high enough to contain the almighty afro of Miror B.

    Wes as well? I didn't know he was a threat to Cipher already...

    I liken it to being threatened by a clown. An extremely angry, crazy, bloodthirsty clowns. (After all, all clowns are evil...)

    One of life's follys. Hence the name.

    No he didn't, it's just that you two are extremely stupid.

    I've always thought so myself. Frisbee Lotads and boomerang Metapods.

    Dramatic music occurs!


    Yay, Makuhita backstory.



    Good one.


    Hey, you got yourself involved in this, now you've gotta keep going until the conclusion...


    Miror B. is in this chapter; therefore it is made of win.
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2007
  7. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Yikes, go away a few days and more people review! Yay!
    Thanks - guess that's the whole purpose that I started this anyways.

    As Jonah mentioned... *cue Jonah's point*
    ... yes, true, there's not many pastries in the game. Anyways...
    Wes 'knows' about Shadow Pokemon in this fic. The game... well, nothing really hints that Wes doesn't know, else why would have he blown up Team Snagem's base, AND steal the Snag machine and use it to wipe out Cipher as well? Hence why I made Wes have some role in Team Snagem before hand.

    However, as mentioned, note he doesn't know EVERYTHING - he didn't know who Team Cipher were, (until Folly told him :) ) and neither did he really know what the Shadow Pokemon are for...

    Nice to see that you liked this chapter. Wondered why you took a while, Jonah. Good to see that I surpised you with Rui kicking someone...

    Who doesn't? Typing about Miror B while listern to Miror B music makes all the much easier...

    Guess that's a good point...

    Word travels fast - espically if you just blew up a base. Cipher aren't about to let Team Snagem suffer with their plans affected without trying to capture Wes

    Miror B being likened to a clown... that's a first.

    'Frisbee' Lotads were actually inspired by a short flash animation involving one I saw ages ago.

    And that's probably as much of his backstory you'll every get ;). Though maybe... nah, not about to do a backstory for all 48 shadows....

    My mentions of pastries must have had an affect on you...

    Indeed. Poor Wes.

    Glad you liked it. Miror B is one of the best characters (if not the best) in any game I have played.

    The next chapter will take a fair bit of time, as I am in overtime with homework at the moment. Besides, when I work on the chapter, I perfer quality over... early-ness, don't you agree?
  8. Jonah

    Jonah herd u liek mudkips?

    Sorry, I was in Colorado and unable to log on; hence, my late review.

    Miror B. being likened to a clown is a third - both Duking and Cail refer to him as a clown at some point or another.
  9. Redcell

    Redcell Male version wanted

    Sorry if I was critizing too harshly,but I forgot to mention that you are doing an exellent job.Keep up the great work!
  10. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Fair enough. Had a good time there?
    You're right - they do mention him as some sort of clown from memory - though not many clowns can claim to have an enormous afro and dance to Salsa with Ludicolos :)

    I wouldn't say that you have critized me too hard - and as you said, you only played it once. Besides, wouldn't mind some problems or mistakes being picked at - it would make me a better writer :)
    It's easy to forget to tell someone as fantastic as me what an excellent job they're doing ;) ;D
  11. I_Dun_Have_One

    I_Dun_Have_One [Witty Title]

    This is great! I would have personally thought that Wes blew up the hideout because Gonzap stole his hairspray. Keep it up!
  12. Redcell

    Redcell Male version wanted

    Well now that's twice.I rented it a few days ago mainly because you made want to rent it again.And sorry if this is off this off the topic but any suggestion in my team for Evice.He KOed is own pokemon more often then I did.My top level was a 52 SUICUNE
  13. UltaFlame

    UltaFlame I'm weird accept it

    I just read this whole thing...

    it made me laugh like crazy.

    I can't do a proper review for 4 chapters at once, so I will start wqith the fifth Chapter (im not really helpful with reviews, I'm not a good reviewer)

    and redcell if what ur asking is tips for beating Evice...

    I used my Espeon and Umbreon throughout pretty much the entire game, so there were like lv 60s-70s when i fought them, they pwned through the entire group. I caught the guys shadow easily.

    so yeah, expect me to be here for the next chapter
  14. mewfanforlife

    mewfanforlife Well-Known Member

    I finished reading this yesterday but then my computer crashed. This is really funny! Keep up the good work.
  15. The Wizard of LOZ

    The Wizard of LOZ THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!

    HWere can you get Miror B theme music, I really want it on my ipod also any other pokemon background music.
  16. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Firstly - I guess you will have to wait quite a while for the next chapter. I've had next to no time to even properly think about the next chapter, let alone type it up, and it looks like it will be that way for a while. Stupid school assignments...
    So don't expect it anytime too soon, barring a miracle. Mentioning this so you are not left in the dark...

    Anyway looks like there have been some reviews. As I'm here for a short while:

    That's an idea.
    Wes - hairspray = exploded Team Snagem base.
    Only, what would Gonzap do with hairspray... only hair he has is in the form of pointy eyebrows and moustache.

    Welcome aboard. Fair enough about deciding to review the fifth chapter - though I wouldn't exactly agree with your opinion on yourself & your reviewing skills... you're not THAT bad... ;)
    Glad you liked it.

    Thank you. Hope your computer is feeling better...

    Can't remember... *spends a minute looking* here's a (but not THE original website I found, but should work)website with colo music, including miror b's ever-holy music of music...ness. Useful for thoses who can't remember the music/never played the game as well I guess...

    By the way what did you think of my chapter?

    Now off to do a history assignment...
  17. The Wizard of LOZ

    The Wizard of LOZ THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!

    Thanks for that, I thought Wes blown up the base cause he was annoyed at Gonzap. Which in this story, he was.
  18. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    New Chapter UP

    Well, I've found the time to think up and write the next chapter! Let's get straight into it.


    Chapter 4 – The Wonders of Pyrite

    As Wes stared at Rui and regarded her statement, the mayor walked into the house.

    “Hello... what happened here?” he asked with a soft, painful moan as he observed the overturned flowerpots. He poked at a painting lying against the base of the wall which had snapped clean from its hinge. It promptly broke into two and clattered on the battered carpet.

    “Umm… well, there was this thing inside with a Voltorb - I mean hair, and some random people in colours, and then the two men that kidnapped me were there as well and a Shadow Pokémon-” began Rui, before the mayor cut in.

    “Mi…ah… who were here? And what’s this about Shadow Pokémon again?”

    “Oh, Wes has it now,” answered Rui, grabbing the Poké Ball containing Makuhita from Wes’ hands.

    “Hey!” retorted Wes.

    “I wonder what this button does…” wondered Rui, examining the object in her hand curiously. Upon pressing it, Makuhita came out of the Poké Ball, to Rui’s surprise and Wes’s bemusement that Rui was unfamiliar with the workings of a Poké Ball.

    The Makuhita glanced at his surroundings, then back at Wes, only to realise that he no longer belonged to Trudly. Not that he cared - Trudly had been too dumb to know his left hand from his right. Stupid Trudly. Makuhita glared at his new owner and a girl with big fat eyes and a bewildered expression as she examined a Poké Ball, before his eyes widened.

    “Maku…. ta!” (Who are you…DIE!) he exclaimed, catching sight of the mayor. He gave a loud bellow and charged at him. However, the short fat mayor nimbly dodged Makuhita’s attack just before contact was made, with unusual grace for one of his size and shape. Makuhita collided headfirst with a bookshelf which then fell down and tipped a large number of books upon the floor, distracting the Shadow Pokémon from his intent.

    “Maku!” (Stupid books! You must suffer!) he cried, before proceeding to tear the pages of a particularly expensive-looking book. Wes shakily grabbed the Poké Ball off Rui, and directed it at Makuhita.

    “Return, Makuhita!” he commanded, before a ray of red materialised around Makuhita, sending the angry Pokémon back into the Poké Ball.

    “Umm…Sorry?” apologised Rui.

    “That’s… a Shadow Pokémon,” offered Wes. “As you can see, it’s unusually angrier than normal Pokémon.”

    “I see…” answered the mayor, blinking at the further mess that Makuhita had caused. He then glared at Wes and Rui.

    “Please leave,” he said evenly to them. Wes didn’t blame him - he too would be angry if someone trashed their office.

    Poor guy - he’s got a lot to deal with at the moment, thought Wes, as he walked out the door with Rui and Espeon, as Umbreon trotted behind with a book in his mouth. They ignored the fainted woman outside the mayor’s office.


    After a delayed and slow lunch in a small takeaway joint, Wes and Rui headed to the Pokémon centre. Ignoring the girl who yet again questioned him on whether or not he was a trainer, Wes sat down at a table and looked at Espeon.

    Well... what do you and Umbreon think? Wes thought to Espeon, deciding it would be best to ask silently. About going and snagging other Pokémon and helping them, I mean.

    Well, Espeon communicated back, you DID help steal them in the first place. We just got one we saw earlier, no?

    Yeah, but... Wes began.

    Could have been one of us, Espeon added mildly.

    Especially me! Umbreon added.

    ...True, you have a point, Wes admitted. And I’ve nothing else to do... Guess you’re going to get some new friends then.

    But that one is all...punchy, Umbreon complained back.

    “So…” said Wes to Rui, “what do you make of what happened there, anyway? Or this?” he added, holding up the Poké Ball containing Makuhita.

    “I’m thoroughly confused by the recent happenings…” confessed Rui, tugging at one of her ponytails. “Especially that man, with the hair…”

    “Ah, yes, the Man with the Hair,” repeated Wes. He moved towards a nearby PC and started typing. “What was his name…Mirror B? What kind of name is that?”

    “And Cipher? I never heard of them,” Rui said.

    “No, neither have I,” answered Wes after a few minutes. “And I can’t find any information on them anywhere… very secretive. However, there is some on Miror B - and his name is spelt M-I-R-O-R… odd. Maybe his parents couldn’t spell or something…”

    “Really?” exclaimed Rui excitedly as she leaned over. An article was displayed on the computer screen written few years ago featuring a large picture of the man with an enthusiastic Ludicolo in the background. Accompanying the article was the headline “Weirdo Wins Dance Competition”. Nothing much was available in the article about Miror B himself - only that his addictive Salsa music and unique dance style had taken the competition by storm. After a few more searches, which pulled out similar articles about Miror B winning dance competitions and contests, Wes gave up, seeing that he wouldn’t find much more about the enigma.

    “Festive sort of person,” commented Wes as he logged off the P.C., and turned to Rui. “So, the big question is… why is…Cipher - whoever they are - interested in you?”

    “Well,” began Rui, “either Cipher could have something to do with Shadow Pokémon, or those three just didn’t want me ratting on them having a Shadow Pokémon.”

    “I’m leaning towards the second option,” said Wes. “Firstly, it’s tough to keep a large criminal syndicate secret - and I’ve never heard of this group. Team Snagem is known by nearly everyone and they deal with stealing and then making Shadow Pokémon. This may just be some small wannabe team that did a deal with Team Snagem concerning Shadow Pokémon."

    “You may be right… but to kidnap me? And raid the mayor’s office?” Rui frowned slightly and wrangled her hands.

    “Maybe they knew that if news about Shadow Pokémon got leaked, then Team Snagem would come after them. So they got desperate, and went for desperate measures. And between you and me, Folly and Trudly ain’t that bright…"

    "Espeon!" (Understatement of the year!)

    “What gets at me,” continued Wes, “is that why would Team Snagem give out a Shadow Pokémon…”

    “Umbre!” (To celebrate Christmas!) Umbreon offered, earning a slap from Espeon’s tail.

    “I think what may be more likely is say doing it as a test to see how it would act outside of their control with normal people, but then I wouldn’t know.”

    “I thought you worked with them?” inquired Rui.

    “I did. But I was simply a Snagger - they wouldn’t tell me what they did with the Pokémon I stole. I honestly have no idea how they even made Pokémon Shadow - only that they ‘closed the heart’ or something…”

    “I think we should go to Pyrite Town,” butted in Rui bluntly. “We have the Shadow Pokémon, but no real idea why I was kidnapped…”

    “Aren’t you a bit worried for your own safety?” asked Wes once again struck by how brave Rui acted in the region of Orre, despite already getting kidnapped in what must have been record time.

    “…Nope!” answered Rui with a smile. Not with you near me, she added silently to herself.

    “Alright then,” Wes said. “Let’s go investigate. It’ll be an interesting trip - never been there myself yet although I’m fairly sure I know the way. We’ll take the Zoomer if you’re ready to go now.” When Rui nodded Wes stood up only for the old man by the PC to leap out at Wes and grab his arm.

    “You can use that PC, you know,” he began.

    “Oh not again,” moaned Wes, smothering out his blue trench coat that the man had wrinkled. “Didn’t you see me just use it five minutes ago?”

    “Did you know that you can save the game by using the PC as well?” the man continued enthusiastically, ignoring Wes’s comments and grinning up at the tall teenager.

    “Save… the… game?” repeated Rui blankly.

    “Why yes! Better save often, otherwise you could lose your game data!”

    Right, he’s crazy, Wes decided.

    “Save the game,” prompted the man.

    “Um… I have to go now…” said Wes, desperately searching for an escape route past the man, but the only one was blocked by the persisting figure.

    “Save the game NOW!” demanded the man in a deeper, more serious tone, as his grip on Wes’s arm tightened. Wes looked at Rui with worry who shrugged.

    “Uh...Umm, look! A distraction!” said Wes, pointing in a random direction.

    “Where?” asked the man, turning to stare at a wall, but before realising his error Wes and Rui had made a dash for the exit successfully, knocking over the “Are you a Trainer?” girl on their way out.

    “Stupid region,” Wes grumbled as they ran towards the entrance. “Full of... flaming weirdoes... Arrgh!” he shouted as a man clad in a blue similar to Wes's coat from head to toe jumped out at them from the pool of water by the exit.

    “Sorry to break it to you, but you may not pass!” he yelled over-dramatically as water dripped from his clothes onto the tiled pathway.

    “Sure, whatever, blue man…” muttered Wes. He walked on past the man. Blue’s a good colour, but there’s such a thing as too much blue.

    “Do you have any idea who I am?” the man said slowly but loudly, beginning to pace about. “You dare to walk by and insult the wonderful colour of blue by ignoring it? You bear the same colour, yet you scoff at it? You ruined our plans for now, but I, yes, I will seek redemption for us! Yes, there is no getting out of this town now! The only way that you will be allowed past is if you can beat me in a battle… HEY!” shouted the blue man. He only realised now that Wes and Rui had already gone a good hundred metres out of town, blatantly ignoring him.

    “Damn,” muttered the man to himself. “This always happens. I start to trail off, and then I get onto a totally unrelated subject, like when will I get a pay rise, or when it will rain. It’s an interesting dilemma for Orre as the annual rainfall for the last ten years has not been lower since… well, ever, but nevertheless if the drought doesn’t end soon… damn, I’ve done it again…” he muttered to himself. He quickly ran up to Wes and Rui, who were already by the Zoomer.

    “Hey! Stop there, and prepare to be… stopped!” he shouted. He then grabbed a Poké Ball from his pocket, and chucked it in front of the Zoomer. A purple creature with the appearance of a deranged kindergarten’s attempt at making something out of play-dough materialised.

    “Grimer!” (Everyone hates me, so I hate you!) it shouted at Wes and Rui.

    “Ugh!” said Rui, gagging slightly as a wicked stench hit them from the small Pokémon.

    “Grim…” (See what I mean?) it sadly said, placing an arm on a small nearby plant that had denied the harsh desert conditions to reach the modest height of a couple of inches. Upon contact with the Grimer’s arm, the plant instantly withered and died.

    “Grim! Grimer!” (OH NO! Sorry plant, sorry!) it cried.

    “Espi-Espeon…” (Is it just me, or is it odd that a Grimer cares for the environment?) Espeon pondered sarcastically, amused by the irony of it.

    Wes frowned at the newcomer, thinking for a moment before realisation set in. “Weren’t you in the mayor’s house?”

    “Yes! And now we shall do battle, because otherwise I may get a pay cut if I let you get away, and that wouldn’t be good, because I don’t get paid enough as it is…”

    Wes and Rui exchanged glances.

    “Whatever,” said Wes. “I’ll battle you. I’ve had it with Cipher as it is.” And by the looks of that Grimer, this will be a pushover, much like the other Pokémon they have, he thought.

    “Umbre? Umbreon?” (We have to battle AGAIN? Are we getting paid for this?)

    “Aha! So battle we shall! Yes, I the mighty Bluno shall take you down!” he shouted, before glancing at his Grimer who was crying murky tears which dissolved the ground they landed upon. “Oh, you’re feeling blue again!?” the man said to it before pausing for a moment. “Get it? Depressed... feeling blue...?”

    The Grimer continued to cry.

    “Well, uh...go, Spoink and Croconaw!” proclaimed the blue man, tossing two Poké Balls towards Espeon and Umbreon.

    “Bluno?” asked Rui incredulously. Wes ignored the name though and focused on the new arrivals. One was a gray pig-like creature with a pearl on its head, and a notable absence of a body or legs. Instead it had a spring, of all things. It started bouncing up and down upon it in a repetitive rhythm. The second Pokémon was a fat yet ferocious-looking blue crocodile Pokémon; large teeth exposed as the Pokémon open its mouth and chomped on air aggressively.

    “Spoink!” (Bouncing is fun!)

    “Croconaw!” (You shall die!)

    “Umbreon!” (Bacon!) he cried upon seeing the pig-like Pokémon. Before Wes could issue a command, he had already charged forward excitedly, preparing for a Bite attack.

    “Spoink!” (Oww!) cried the Spoink as Umbreon bit hard, before leaping a good twenty metres into the air. Umbreon was left dangling on, desperate not to let go. Espeon decided to watch on, amused.

    “Espeon! As funny as it is, don’t just sit there! Attack with…” started Wes.

    “Wes!” Rui cut in. “I’m afraid…" Rui gulped. "Croconaw is also a... SHADOW POKEMON!!! ARRGH!” Rui was clearly scared out of her wits, although she seemed to be acting a bit overdramatically with expansive arm movements synchronising with her shouting.

    “WHAT!?” said Wes. This can’t be right… This Cipher has two Shadow Pokémon? Why...

    “Use Shadow Rush!” commanded Bluno. At his request, the Croconaw charged at Espeon with surprising speed, with Espeon giving a sharp cry before leaping to the side and diving into the dust as Croconaw narrowly missed his target. Espeon attempted to hit back by throwing itself at his adversary with a Return attack, but he instead bounced off Croconaw’s body upon contact. Espeon charged at Croconaw again, with similar results to the previous effort.

    “That’s one tough Pokémon,” Wes said quietly, tugging at his ear while trying to think up a battle strategy.

    Meanwhile, Spoink kept on bouncing up to extreme heights and back down to Earth, with Umbreon still hanging on and repositioning himself so he wouldn’t hit the ground. Then Spoink suddenly jerked its body, causing Umbreon to lose his grip and fall a considerable distance – only for him to land right on top of Croconaw’s head. Umbreon bounced off and landed clumsy with a squeak before springing back up to his feet. The Croconaw groggily looked around to see what hit him so suddenly and rubbed his head.

    “Espeon and Umbreon, use Return and Tackle on Croconaw now, simultaneously!” shouted Wes. The two Pokémon dashed forward and hit Croconaw high into the air as it gave a groan and flailed its arms in surprise.

    “Oh no,” Bluno said. Everybody watched Croconaw approach Spoink’s path of movement, the pig Pokémon still bouncing in relief of having survived Umbreon’s Bite. Too late, it realised the danger.

    “Oink… ” (This is gonna hurt.)

    It was right. The two collided in midair, and unsurprisingly, Spoink came off second best and fainted, falling to the ground. Croconaw then plummeted towards the ground as well, still conscious but rather dazed.

    “Croc!” (Bugger!) it moaned, crashing just as a Snag Ball struck it and instantly engulfed the Pokémon. After such a big fall giant hit Wes was unsurprised when after a few shakes the Poké Ball quickly pinged in announcement of the successful Snag.

    “Oh no! You snagged by Croconaw - my Pokémon which had been a team-mate ever since I got it. Which wasn’t for very long but anyway… damn you!” shouted Bluno. “Get ‘em, Grimer!” he commanded, pointing squarely at Wes.

    However Grimer was still too distressed over the dead plant to attack, as it sat there and continued to bemoan the loss of life he had caused. Wes nodded and got to leave, climbing onto the Zoomer along with Rui. Casting one last look to the oasis of water in Phenac City, Wes turned around and headed out to the parched dry desert that awaited them.

    Bluno sighed. “Folly and Trudly can’t be blamed for losing…you won convincingly! But just because you have my Shadow Pokémon, it doesn’t mean that this is over! No, I will take my revenge on you, and it shall be sweet, like candy! Sweet, sweet candy! But for now I must begin plotting. Or maybe I should first find someplace to sleep…”

    Bluno, yet again absorbed in his own words, failed to notice that Rui and Wes had long gone, leaving him outside Phenac city chatting to a fainted Spoink and a depressed Grimer.


    In the meantime Wes and Rui sped towards Pyrite Town, dust clouds forming behind them as Wes learnt how to make the Zoomer move faster.

    “So what do you think about Bluno and him having another Shadow Pokémon?” shouted Rui over the roar of the Zoomer.

    “It’s left me confused,” admitted Wes. “It is possible the Team Snagem gave them two Shadow Pokémon, but… something doesn’t seem right. Anyway, what’s Pyrite Town like?” inquired Wes.

    “Smelly,” answered Rui. “And rather messy as well. Nothing like my home town – but it’s my first time in Orre, after all. I was on my way to Agate Village to visit my grandparents.”

    “Explains a few things,” Wes said. “Well, no surprises about Pyrite being messy; surely shouldn’t be all that different to where I came from. What were you doing there in the first place anyway? Before you got kidnapped?”

    A long pause ensued, as Wes waited for an answer while making sure he didn’t direct the Zoomer into any rocks that popped up in the trail to Pyrite every so often.


    “Espeon!” (Can’t you see that she’s having flashbacks?) asked the psychic Pokémon.

    “Well you could tell me next time...” Wes grumbled.


    “Alright, get off de bus! We’re gonna refuel it, so get outta da way!” shouted a disgruntled and uneducated bus driver. A tired group of people wandered off the bus as Rui bounded after them.

    “When’s dinner?” asked Rui curiously, twirling a finger through her orange hair.

    “Later,” answered the bus driver.

    “What’s your name?” persisted Rui.

    “Umm…” began the bus driver, trying to remember.

    “You’re boring,” announced Rui, and with a grin, hopped off the bus. It was fun to annoy that bus driver, and doing so had provided her entertainment for the long trip to Agate Village. It had been her parents’ idea for Rui to go alone to Agate this time, and Rui was looking forward to meeting her grandparents.

    Rui walked around town, wondering what to do to make time go by. She didn’t think much of Pyrite Town personally and hoped that Agate was still better than this place - it stunk, and in more ways than one. Although she had to admit that the buskers by the side of the street did play some pretty catchy music.

    “Hey look! Is that Tailow… wild?” someone exclaimed. Wild Pokémon were rather rare for the harsh Orre desert, so a wild Pokémon was a find indeed.

    That someone was Folly.

    “Out of my way - I’m going to catch it!” cried Trudly, as he pushed Folly out of the way. “Go Makuhita! Shadow Rush!”

    Trudly threw the Poké Ball at the Tailow as Makuhita materialised from it, pumping his arms in the air angrily and glaring venomously at the tiny bird with squinty eyes.

    “Maku!” (I will eat you up, little bird!) it shouted. It was at this point that the Tailow decided to fly off, not at all appealed by the statement made.

    “That was your fault, Folly!” blamed Trudly despite the fact that Folly hadn’t done anything, walking up to his friend.

    “Bah. The Tailow was probably scared off by your own face…” said Folly. “Hey, what are you looking at?” Folly asked Rui, noticing her look aghast at Makuhita start to chase a random passer-by. Trudly noticed what Makuhita was doing and started yelling at it to stop.

    Rui meanwhile gaped. Despite not having a Pokémon or any sort of Pokémon item for that matter, she knew enough about them, and she knew that an angry-looking Pokémon giving off a violent violet aura wasn’t right.

    “Why… why does it have that… aura?” she asked.

    “Aura? What are you talking about?” said Trudly, before realization appeared on his face.

    “Umm… nothing,” said Rui, walking quickly back to the bus. However Trudly and Folly quietly followed her just as quickly. Rui broke into a run - maybe if she could reach the bus, she’d be safe -

    It was then when she ran headfirst into a lamppost.

    She lost consciousness, and Trudly and Folly quickly put her into a conveniently nearby sack without anyone noticing or caring – after all, in Pyrite, it was important to look out for yourself and yourself only. Trudly grabbed a phone from his pocket and dialled a number.

    “Boss? We seem to have caught a girl who recognized our Shadow Pokémon without knowing it was one … whoops, wrong number, damn,” he said, hurriedly hanging up on a confused pizza delivery service man.

    As they slunk out of town, the bus driver called back the passengers, not noticing that Rui was missing.


    “What’s that?” asked Rui, snapping out of her flashback and noticing a large white tower near them. She blinked at it, having not expected to have seen this in the middle of the desert.

    “That? That’s… um, some new Colosseum,” answered Wes, deciding to ask Rui about Pyrite Town at some later date. “Want to go have a closer look?”

    However, there wasn’t much to see there - although the tall, state-of-the art proud tower was visually stunning against the clear blue sky, the mess around it wasn’t. Nor were the lazy grubby workers, who at first were intent at keeping them away.

    “Get out of here! This is a construction site, not some tourist attraction!” protested one worker. Wes and Rui blinked at the outburst.

    “Oh, I give up,” said one worker, as Rui and Wes peered at the clutter of bricks, wheelbarrows, steel frames and half-eaten remains of sandwiches.

    “I’ll be glad to go home after this,” sighed one of the workers, rubbing a cloth over his dirty sweaty face. “It’s been a long time since I was home - but we’re nearly done.”

    “Who exactly owns the tower?” asked Rui.

    “Oh, he wouldn’t reveal who he - or she - was. We got approached by some people ‘representing’ him,” replied the worker. “But whoever the person is, that person had a lot of cash…” he added as he grinned, happily thinking of the large bag of money given to them.

    “Well, let’s get going,” interrupted Wes, put off by the sight of the worker’s rotting teeth. “Better go to Pyrite and find somewhere to sleep - it’s getting dark.” The sun was getting closer to the horizon, and due to the lack of urban build up and thus pollution in the sparsely populated Orre region, the sunsets were nice to watch, one untainted feature Orre had to offer over the larger regions.

    That was until they reached their destination. It wasn’t without reason than Pyrite Town attracted the fewest tourists to it for any part in Orre.

    Pyrite Town only looked marginally better than the mess outside the new tower, albeit the appearance was spread around the entire city. The town could only boast of having the worst waste management system, a sole shop that smelled like cheese, a shabby Colosseum and a few low-profile houses. The ‘highlight’ of the town was the large windmill that was the town's only source of power. Random artefacts littered the faded, cracked concrete ground, and the buildings looked rather small - smaller than what houses normally were at any rate, but there was evidence that these were residential buildings.

    By the entrance a police officer was interrogating an aloof man. Wes grinned – he knew of the man as Officer Johnson, infamous for being the village idiot of Pyrite around the region, and few came close to stripping that title from him. Not that Johnson shared that opinion; he truly believed the opposite, and displayed his navy blue uniform proudly as he yapped to the man about the importance of not breaking windows.

    “Aw, Mr Johnson, give a man a break here. I tell you - I don’t know anything!” protested Cail, before glancing at his watch and showing it to Johnson. “Look, I got to go and do some, uh, lawful stuff. Real lawful, and I’m going to be late.”

    “That better be true - if you are trying to con me, I’ll know about it!” claimed Johnson, in an overly-loud voice. A distant cry of ‘shut up!’ could be heard.

    “I wouldn’t think about lying to you! You’ve got to believe me!” Cail said, in an overly-fake voice, complete with eye roll. Johnston seemed oblivious.

    “All right, fine… I’ll let you off easy today. But don’t forget… if you find out anything about the...” Johnson then paused, trying to remember what he had been talking about. “Yes, the... theft of the cookie from the cookie jar, to tell me about it!” With that Johnson nodded and left, chanting ‘Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar’ to himself, looking for some opportunity to be the town’s hero.

    Cail chuckled to himself. “Heheh, what a nitwit. Of course I haven’t got a thing to tell him! And the fact that he ended up believing that a cookie was stolen…” Cail continued chuckling until he noticed Wes and Rui.

    “What are you looking at? Are you tourists or what? If you don’t want to get hurt, get lost, and quick, for the good of your health,” he addressed, before walking off arrogantly.

    An old man came up to the bemused pair. “Never mind him - he gets all protective of his turf. Welcome to Pyrite - town of earth, wind and money.”

    “It’s also smelly…” added Rui, wrinkling her nose at the smell.

    “Oh, you’ll get used to it in a few days,” replied the old man brightly. “Though beware - there are ne’er-do-well sorts here,” he warned, as Wes and Rui delved into the town to find a place to sleep, navigating through various pieces of garbage. Wes quickly located a hotel, and walked in.

    The place looked mildly decent – it was markedly cleaner than the street outside for a start, although the person behind the counter had an obvious drinking problem, and looked at them with bloodshot eyes.

    “Hello,” began Wes cautiously. “We’d like a place to stay…”

    “$100,” interrupted the man. “Each.”

    “What?” demanded Wes. “$100 each? That’s crazy! Nobody charges that much!” Wes shook his head at the high price – it more suited a five-star hotel in a tourist destination in the Pokémon world, rather than a humble motel in a slum like Pyrite.

    “Well I do,” slurred the drunken hotel keeper. “Seeing as I own the only hotel in this dump!”

    “Well, we’ll see about that!” announced Wes, walking out. Rui followed behind. As Wes walked out, he noticed the large neon sign over the hotel. It read:

    Pyrite Hotel - the ONLY hotel in town!

    “Doesn’t that say…” began Rui.

    “Probably a typo. It can’t be the ONLY hotel in town,” reasoned Wes.

    However an hour later, Wes admitted that there was a lack of hotels in Pyrite. Wes had even tried asking some people for a bed for the night, but they had all declined. One particular occupant had chased Wes and Rui out with a broom, thinking that they were trying to sell her a hotel instead.

    “Shall we go in and pay? I’m sleepy, and I’ve had enough of being chased by crazy residents,” Rui said.

    “But I’m stingy, and proud of it!” declared Wes, who was giving evil stares through the window at the hotel keeper, who was on his fifth bottle of wine. “Besides - I think I’ve found a way in,” he added with a grin.

    A minute later, the innkeeper ran out of the hotel and out of town screaming, with various floating objects following him.

    “Nice work, Espeon,” Wes, said, kneeling down to give Espeon a pat.

    “Espi!” (It’s fun to scare people!)

    “Umbreon…” (How come I didn’t get psychic powers…)

    “I don’t quite agree with your methods… but I guess they work,” admitted Rui, as they walked in, and looked for a bed of their choice. Satisfied with a room nearby the entry, they settled down into two low-lying beds. “’Night,” she added.

    “Goodnight,” replied Wes. “Hopefully we’ll resolve this whole thing tomorrow,” he added with a yawn, before settling down to sleep.


    I hope you liked it.

    By the way, I'm thinking as there are long breaks between chapters (bloodly assignments), I might start up a PM list, so you will know whenever the next chapter is up. So if you want to be on the list, either post it here in your review (hint hint ;) ) or PM me.

    And if you want anything 'explained', ask away!

    And the spoiler of spoilerness on characters and events:

    Mayor’s house turmoil - in the game, nobody notices what’s gone on in the mayor’s house, and the mayor doesn’t come back and remark on what happened… Especially odd given there’s usually someone upstairs too, as well as that old lady outside.

    Bluno - one of the three coloured men in the fated Miror B scene shortly before snagging Makuhita. After you leave the mayor’s house and try to go to Pyrite, you’d have to battle either one of these as they are each blocking on exit point. They also have one Shadow Pokémon each - a 2nd evolved form of a Johto starter according to their colour. In this case, Bluno’s Pokémon is Croconaw.

    Rui’s flashback - not much is revealed on exactly how Rui got herself kidnapped. It is mentioned that she was to see her grandparents, but beyond that it’s unclear why she was in Pyrite town of all places, nor how Folly and Trudly actually managed to kidnap her. It is a mystery.

    Construction site - a messy scene outside the newly-constructed ‘Realgam Tower’, that has been recent built by non-mentioned rich people. You can’t explore it yet, but it’s going to be a fancy Colosseum place. Yay for battle arenas!

    Pyrite town - features heavily in the game. Your typical slum, with not much to offer in the tourist department. All features described in the story are in there.

    Pyrite hotel - in the game, this is the Pokémon Centre - unless you either deposit your Pokémon into the PC and withdraw them, thus healing them, or use a healing machine in Pyrite Colosseum. However Pyrite Hotel is closer to the exit and quicker than depositing Pokémon - only it costs money. But given Wes’s personality, why pay?

    The hotel has a few residents as well - most notably, a person who talks while sleeping and dreaming about a battle.
    Last edited: May 27, 2013
  19. Hype_chao

    Hype_chao Eevee FTW!

    Firstly: a complaint:
    Every single pokemon appears to be either stupid, evil or sarcastic, and despite how funny such personalities are, I see the detail you've put into the plot itself, and it makes me frown that other parts of the fic suffer this way.

    Moving a bit away:

    The fic is almost perfect, although the current descriptions of settings are a tad lacking (It seems throughout the story you assume everyone has played through the game, which is not the case), and the afforementioned personality issues, I enjoy the attempted jokes throughout the story (You seem to have an obsession with devouring a multitude of imaginary pastries), and the attention to the original storyline of the game.

    All in all, its a lot better than a load of the other stuff this site has (of which value is questionable or disturbing), and if I could get my hands on my "Mario Endorses this Fic" Image i would have posted it, but alas! My laziness prevents such events from occuring.
    In future: aim for personality deviations (Which even the anime itself has struggled to do for a decade) and finer detail explanations, because despite the fact you are clearly aiming for an audience who has observed the original material, it wouldn't hurt to cater to those who haven't or simply can't remember... Or be bothered to replay the game (like me).

    Good job BobandBill! Aim for perfection!

    (Ha! I just have to say: Don't take to mind the detail thing much, because the game itself fails to reveal anything! GAHHH!!! The writers must be destroyed... And be replaced by you! I like the attempted explanations, but I'm not getting any cool mental images, it could be that they are blocked by Miror B's awesome afro... but yes...)
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2007
  20. UltaFlame

    UltaFlame I'm weird accept it


    I don't think i can see what exactly Wes has that could make him dissapointed.

    Bluno is one of the wierd color brothers right? I forget what they call themselves...

    a funny chappie thats for sure.

    but, I cant think of anythin else. (curse me and my horrible reviewing skills)

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