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The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum

Discussion in 'Completed Fics' started by bobandbill, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. Agreed.



    I'd be scratching my head, too.

    Overall, awesome chapter. May I please be on the PM list?
  2. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Wow, thanks for the rather flattering comments there. =) Glad you enjoyed but it does surprise me it's had that much of an influence. XD
    Cheers for pointing that out, it be fixed now.
    Let's not forget what they were shown to do during the first trip to Agate. =p
    Good to hear - as I may have mentioned before (if not here than elsewhere) it was the part I was most... well not worried but something like that anyway.
    Heh, I like this quote. Probably because I have the image of that in my head now. XD
    Thanks - I feel I have gotten better with that the last few years although it likely could be better yet. =p And bah, Attract sums up Venus completely. -_-
    So it is!
    Gog damn this was something my beta reader pointed out (it was a really late hour when I wrote that scene iirc) but I must have somehow missed those instances still. Go me!

    No, it hadn't been actually (one of those 'ideas I had ages ago before actually being used' things which was before I played XD). As for a retelling on XD... I am still undecided and would only consider it more after finishing this, and maybe after some other projects/ideas I could use as well.

    Thanks for the review! And you are added.
    That's cool - late reviews are better than non and I am not one to mind waiting a while for reviews if they come. ;p
    Glad you enjoy... and now I wonder if I should put a warning. ._.
    Really? Well glad you enjoyed it then, guess it worked out. =)
    Nonono don't apologise for posts being long or whatnot, I prefer those! =p And hopefully it will not be that long until the next chapter, but we shall see.
    Glad you enjoyed and cheers for pointing out your favourite parts too. =) And you are also added to the list!
  3. Crocojaw47

    Crocojaw47 Travelling Pilgrim

    This fanfic is completely genius, my friend. You've put tremendous effort into such a glorious piece of work. I look forward to finishing reading this.
  4. GroundBlaze

    GroundBlaze Starter Keeper

    MOST EPIC FIC EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Brings me back to the good old classic days of pokemom
    Also it nice to add depth to normal NPC

    Also you got me to have that music back in my head after five years (you know the one)
  5. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Thanks you two for the praise - glad you've enjoyed it! And that music is always good music to have stuck in your head. =p
  6. GroundBlaze

    GroundBlaze Starter Keeper

    Your fic has inspired me to go back and finish my old colosseum

    but it go me wondering: How far in the game will your story go?

    is it until Regulum Tower or until all 48 shadow pokemon are caught?
  7. ChaosMudkip

    ChaosMudkip Tepig Hunter

    I restarted my own Colosseum file today, and came here to ask the same question. Funny coincidence. Because of the impostor Wes, I think it would be worthwhile to include the postgame plot as something a few months later, possibly.
  8. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    This is actually the third time I have been asked this recently now. XD Anyways, the short answer would be most likely I would end it at the end of the main storyline - albeit maybe with a bit following it to tie up loose ends though, and some mention at least of a few post-game things anyway then/beforehand. Reasons in a spoiler because of the potential spoilers of what happens in the game and all! Never mind that there's some spoilers in your posts anyway. =p
    I've a few reasons for it - partly because I have the next so-and-so chapters including the epilogue roughly plotted out already - it's subject to change but in the grand scheme of things what is to happen has already been decided upon, so yeah.

    That'd make a few post-game stuff kinda... hard to happen with how I plotted it out (e.g. what happens with the admins and all in the Deep Colosseum). It would involve me having to change a lot around/go all out to have something that makes sense and that'd be more trouble than it is worth.

    That, and to be frank imho Colosseum's post-game events...really sucks and is so anti-climatic that I fear it would not necessarily work well for the story. In essence, what happens is that you go about to team snagem's hideout/the lab a few times when you get emails, go to the Deep Colosseum to rebattle admins/a 'Deep King' who has no story and is a bleh character, and then at the end you fight someone posing as you and... that's it, besides purifying them all and if you want trying to get Ho-oh via the Colosseum mode challenge.

    But as said stuff in the post-game stuff should be tied up anyway (as in I would touch on what happens to Orre/etc after the end of the main storyline's events occur) and I may yet use some stuff in there in chapters anyway (say references/etc) because after all they do deserve an explanation of some sort. =p
    Questions like this are cool so feel free to continue if you have any!

    And as a note I started uni again so I should be slowed down with chapter writing. Or that's what I think should be the case only I went and wrote three pages a few days ago despite said uni so really I suppose the chapter can be any time it wants to be! (I've still got a ways to write though).
  9. GroundBlaze

    GroundBlaze Starter Keeper

    Your right it was........rather easy and I never bothered to do the last part (the part in bold)
  10. Wild Dragonite

    Wild Dragonite Ralts Evo Tree Fan

    Right, I just spent who-knows-how-many hours reading the ENTIRE thing.

    First things first: Put me on that PM list. I want to know how this finishes (even if it looks like it won't for a few more years).

    Secondly: Sheer. Wintanium. Love the references.

    Thirdly: I love how all of the Pokemon have an ultra-clear personality, including the ones that you only see once, like Steelix. I wouldn't mind discussing finances OR the weather with Steelix.

    Lastly, and most importantly...

    You, sir, have made me want to play this game.
  11. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Well it's not like that bit was part of the actual story itself (it was done in an external mode after beating everything else after all). I did it though because I kinda like completing stuff as much as possible at times. XD
    Glad you enjoyed it, and I shall add you to the PM list!

    But to clarify something - with the 'even if it looks like it won't for a few more years' bit, although I'd rather not give a date or anything (because hey maybe I may suddenly have another long hiatus but I find that unlikely as I'm not going to get distracted with other writing stuff to anywhere near the same extent as then methinks), it's assuming I won't be lazy during my holidays after this semester of uni and I'm currently doing other things (such as posting this elsewhere as an excuse to really fix some issues of the older chapters) I'd say it's quite likely that this fic would be done before I start my 3rd year of uni so say before March 2012 as opposed to a few more years. If it's not by then it's likely not to be long after that either. All in all I've only about four-five chapters roughly left already planned out and an epilogue as well, and the next chapter is now a bit past half done as well (I have settled nicely into getting *something* done every week it seems thus far with uni). So yeah, just a FYI I suppose. Hopefully that doesn't come back to bite me or something! =p
  12. 10151993

    10151993 Summer Sun!

    will do big review on computer. ds is for pointing out errors.
    error: reflects overuse.
    reflect has beeen over used. espeon used it to block croncronaws surf. this would nnot have worked please see to it that espion learns light screen

    P.S. tell tom to goto hogsmeade and buy all the FIREwhisky he wants. tell him to put it on my visa MORE TOM CHAPTERS PLEASE
  13. yellownick15

    yellownick15 Active Member

    From now I will worship you!!!!! In the last two days I've been reading the whole story and I must say I'm amazed with your work, your writing style and the theme. My gosh THE THEME!!! I had always wondered why so many plot gaps in the game and now I've found the answer. It was for you to make an awesome fanfiction!!!
    May I be on the PM list?
  14. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    I look forward to it then!

    And yeah, I've recently been looking at old chapters and deciding they need fixing in areas and so have recently been slowly doing that with... well, not great touch-ups but significant ones anyway I feel (done up to chapter two now - Wes now comes with 20% more personality!) because after four years I think I'm a bit better. XD Up to doing chapter 3 in that regard... although what's the instance of Espeon using Reflect to block a Surf from Croconaw? (Maybe it was the battle Ludicolo? I think that issue is there anyway.)

    And shall do!

    Glad you enjoyed although I don't think there's a need to 'worship'. =p Anyways, you are added to the list.

    As a note, the next chapter may be within a week! As in, it needs beta reading and editing first.

    GOLDENCRS I'm a f***** Ponyta

    I remember before I was on Serebii, this was the first Fan Fic I ever read, and the best Fan Fic I ever read. Well, I don't know where I left off... But this is amazing.
  16. Glover

    Glover Pain in Rocket side

    I just started reading this, and I'm not a spelling and grammar kinda guy, but this stuck out at me, as I like puns.

    Just how fast is a raging Ford Automobile? :p
    (The word you are looking for is Tauros, not Taurus....)

    In regards to time-travelling news events, while the Ein File is a boit of a nuisance for continuity, by the time Wes and Rui got to the Under, it would not surprise me if there wasn't a "spy netwrok" passing notes along to Cipher Admin, one such being

    In regards to the Legendary Dogs, I know nothing about them creating havoc, and I doubt they are any more connected than the Birds are. (Remember, the 2000 Movie is a fluke because they are basically living on Magnetic Ley Lines, not that one truly must balance the other)

    As such, The only one with any real power over Orre is Entei, in that he may have some control over the volcano, and Raikou IF you argue the storms on Citadark were present during Colleseaum, but that's a stretch. There is no mass body of water save for Phenac itself to draw Suicune.

    It's possible that Ho-Oh of Orre summoned/created them due to the catastrophy of the shadow Pokemon and they themselves got swept up. I'm curious to see over the 4 years how you tied up these ends.

    And thank you, I had frogotten about the Skarmory introduction. I thouroghly enjoyed that. Personally, I think I prefer Rui as the straight-laced person. I had planned to follow canon in my own Orre story, but I might see about digging into their characters and doing soemthing with them in a later chapter.

    Magnetic? I seemto recall there beign giant whirling cieling fans of DOOM strapped to the bottom of those things.
    Good luck
    AH HA! A BEAST WARS FAN, Yess? Wouldn't Predacon Megs make a nice Tyranitar?
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2011
  17. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Thanks, and yay for you enjoying it too!
    Depends on the make and model!

    But yeah, that's a typo all right - thanks for picking up on that. Among many of the others I am finding while slowly going through chapter three for belated edits! Which severely needed doing in places I might add, but ah well.
    Not sure whereabouts you are up to atm but I will say while Ein files are in the fic, a rather prompt spy-network isn't in there. However that instance of them knowing of a spy in The Under is covered I hope regardless.
    I actually never watched that movie. D= But I suppose even without the 'creating havoc over Orre' concept they're pretty powerful Pokemon in their own right.
    Note Citadark was an XD-only location, not Colosseum, so that doesn't even work in Raikou's case. XD At any rate I'm only really beginning to make use of the beasts now, although their past which has already been touched on is...less exciting than your idea. =(
    I find that lots of people forgot the Skarmory. XD And Rui gets a bit less 'crazy' later on but there's a few ways one can interpret her I suppose.

    Anyways cheers for the review and hope you enjoy the rest!

    A more accurate date - the next chapter will quite possibly be out my Friday, if not Saturday. THREE DAYS
  18. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Chapter Up!

    Oh look a chapter.

    Beta-read by Chris the Com.


    Chapter 21 - Lab of Shadows

    Tom began his sixteenth attempt at convincing the train to stop moving so fast and noisily, but yet again had little success. No matter how many times he waved his empty bottle of beer or sung obscure national anthems, the train continued on its way as it rattled loudly through the dark tunnel and paid the man no heed. Giving up for a few minutes, he decided to sit down and contemplate, gazing at the spinning ceiling as he did so.

    Tommsy no this likes, he concluded, before getting back to his feet bursting into a fresh chorus of what he believed to be Orre’s anthem.

    “Orreeyly lorely oll... nots versy guds bit wezz still tornsings, sos lots of sandys cactsis groaning-”

    Suddenly the train came to a shrieking halt which sent Tom flying down the carriage. As he staggered to his feet he peered outside, wondering if the train had objected to this particular tune. He noticed that the train had also chosen to stop at a station that looked rather similar to the other one, with two men standing by a doorway. Thinking that he should go ask if they had a spare drink with them, he stumbled out of the train towards them, bursting into fresh song.

    “Strange, Bill, I would have thought that nobody was due to come here,” one of the men said quietly to the other as they noticed the newcomer’s footsteps; they were unable to see Tom clearly from their side of the train. He frowned – he had been having a most enthralling conversation with his colleague about the intricacies of making sandwiches with limited supplies in dangerous situations. They did not have much to talk about after all, being the typical Cipher guards told to guard an empty train station for a surprisingly decent wage. The two were pretty low on the Cipher ladder and hence knew little about what actually went on in the lab save the essentials, and had already exhausted far more normal topics three weeks ago.

    “No... wait a second, Bob, I believe that’s an intruder there,” the other replied. “Only one person and we’d have heard if it was Venus by now.”

    “Oh, so it seems, Bill,” Bob replied, scratching his head.

    “...And...andy OORRREEY isss coolyes inds...stuffys,” Tom hiccupped as he drew closer.

    “Well, what are we to do?” Bill continued. “He could be armed! He sounds crazy! And we were told not to let anybody into the lab!”

    “And if we let him in we could lose our jobs,” Bill said thoughtfully.

    “Good point, Bill.”

    “Thank you, Bob.”

    “Soss says Issy... whosvers i’s ams. Nots jimmys, I nots likes jimmymans!” Tom declared to himself, still in a sing-song manner.

    “Quick, run – we’ll blow up the entrance!” Bob said, and with that the two sprinted through the doorway. Confused, Tom continued to follow slowly, only to fall over again as a sudden explosion rocked the ground. He got up after a minute and peered in – the room in front of him was scorched an ugly black and split in two, with the two other men on the other side of the newly created gorge.

    “...Oh, he’s just a drunkard,” Bill stated, noticing the beer bottle in Tom’s hand.

    “Sumpitles!” Tom shouted as he wandered back onto the train, deciding that when things like this happened it was usually better to just go to sleep and hope stuff had changed for the better when he woke up.

    “So he was, Bob,” replied the other, covering his nose as they both retreated upstairs from the sharp smell left behind. They then shut the door behind them and looked around – thankfully nobody had been in that part of the building to really notice anything; all the researchers were likely still in the adjacent building hard at work.

    “So I guess blowing up this whole room was a bit over the top, wouldn’t you say?”

    “But it did its job in keeping him out, I suppose.”

    “That it did.”

    “So I take it we’re not telling Ein about this?”

    “Agreed. Besides, he’s taking a nap or something, the crazy scientist. A week without sleep would put you in a bad state even with a lot of coffee...”

    A pause followed as they sat down.

    “So, as I was saying, you’ve got to have cheese in there – sure, making it from scratch may not be easy when...”

    Meanwhile, the group in The Under had retired back to the humble interior police station in Pyrite, albeit not the majority of the arrested Cipher Grunts. As they had run out of space in the normal jail cells they had resorted to chaining the new prisoners to the top of the building while a new temporary prison could be constructed, and gave each a piece of cardboard to protect themselves from the sun. They hadn’t been happy about the arrangement but stopped protesting when Sherles suggested that they perhaps preferred being given the Orre law treatment. It turned out that everyone had been rather fond of their left arm.

    Venus however got her own private cell, although that didn’t cheer her up at all. She took to screaming for her fans to save her from such a grubby place and put her on a television show before she died of a lack of cherry-flavoured lipstick, until Rui had enough of her shouts disrupting any possible conversations and threatened to let Quagsire sit with her in the cell. This had also worked extraordinarily well.

    Her Pokémon had been confiscated in case she tried to break out with her Steelix or other Pokémon of hers. The Suicune was also currently in a separate room until the police could purify it and figure out what to do with it afterwards. It hadn’t been very accommodating and had taken to blasting water at the faces of those who dared to step too close to it, so they decided to leave it entangled in the nets so it wouldn’t cause any more trouble beyond that.

    Meanwhile Wes’ Pokémon had recovered from the battle effects of Attract. It took a good dose of food and in Umbreon’s case television, and Makuhita’s case anger management heaped upon Johnson to take their mind off the Delcatty initially, but afterwards they seemed to have forgotten about the cat Pokémon’s existence completely, bar Espeon who seemed somewhat embarrassed about the whole event. Johnson seemed the most relieved to see them make a full recovery.

    The same could not be said for citizens of The Under who went into a huge withdrawal upon realising that Venus’ show was no longer airing, and later on that she had been removed from The Under completely. Much gnashing of teeth and wailings of ‘YOU’RE OUR VENUSSSS’ were shouted by all under her spell at inanimate objects, so Sherles had imposed a barrier around all lifts from Pyrite to The Under until they could replace the water supply, and brought The Under’s part of the Kids Grid to Pyrite for the time being. This in itself was appearing to be a fairly expensive and difficult operation given the lack of water resources the Orre region had outside of Phenac, and the surprising resistance the people of Phenac City were putting up against the news they may not be able to run their water fountain for the next few weeks. However with no mayor remaining they didn’t have much choice – it appeared that he had left in the last few days, but to where was another question.

    “So Sherles,” Wes said after all that had been taken care of, “what’s next?” He noticed Andrew silently glare at him as he walked off to do a routine check-up on the prisoners. Presumably he was none too happy about his quick acceptance by the remaining police force members but Wes tried to shrug it off.

    “Well, we’re to launch an attack on the Shadow Lab we learnt about from the Kids Grid – we have its coordinates and so forth so hopefully we shall be able get in without too much trouble. However I feel it would be foolish to assume it would be easy, so again I’m assigning as much force as we can afford to move in.” Sherles then sighed as he stared at papers of notes, many of them detailing trivial matters such as how the cost of soap was being affected by their progress. “We’re not far now, but there’s still too many questions.”

    Suddenly a man burst into a room, panting heavily. All turned to look at this newcomer – Wes quickly noted his ridiculous get-up which consisted of purple magician-esque clothing complete with cape and bow-tie.

    “Where’s my darling Suicune!?” he shouted at them. His eyes darted back and forth as he looked frantically around the room.

    “Ah, who are you?” Sherles said, standing up to greet him.

    “Are you Suicune in disguise?” he continued to yell, clearly distressed.

    “Umbreon...” (Why is he here...) Umbreon asked quietly, already disapproving of the man as Sherles quickly reassured him that he was not Suicune in disguise.

    “Esp Espeon-espi,” (I take it Sherles has asked this person to come to clear up some plot points-er, give more info on Suicune,) Espeon offered.

    “But I didn’t,” Sherles replied to Espeon.

    “Esp.” (Oh.)

    “However, I suppose I have to ask you – how do you know that we have a Suicune? We’ve been keeping that piece of news away from the reporters as well...” Sherles asked the man.

    “Oh, I always know where Suicune is,” he said mysteriously with a wide grin. “But never fear! I merely wish to... gaze upon it.”

    “He scares me,” Rui said quietly to Wes who nodded his agreement.

    “Maybe you’d like some éclairs,” Johnson offered.

    “Are they shaped like Suicune?” the man asked. Johnson gazed at the pastries.

    “They look more like...just like éclairs, actually...”

    “Okay... well I take it you would know a lot about Suicune then, as well as the other two members of the Johto legendary beast trio?” Sherles asked.

    “Pah, who cares about the other two! I specialise in Suicune! It’s the most graceful!” he boasted.

    “Maybe that is so, but we’d like information on them nonetheless. Orre’s resources on such legendary Pokémon are quite limited so I thought you’d be able to give us some useful information, and Entei is in our possession too and Raikou is likely in the region too. We’ve... had to rescue them, you see.”

    “Well, let’s see,” he said softly, sitting down as he adjusted his bowtie. At the moment Andrew returned and gave another look of irritation at the loud newcomer who had ended up in his seat.

    “Who the heck are you?” Andrew asked.

    “Eusine, at your service,” Eusine replied with a grin. “Here, have my business card,” he added as he conjured one out of thin air into his gloved hands and gave it to the bewildered policeman. Andrew looked at him before glancing at the card – it was covered in sparkles and a poorly drawn image of Eusine and Suicune with the phrase ‘best friends’ written messily below it.

    “Anyway! I have done many years of research upon them after all. It’s said there’s only one of each ofthem around at any one time but that’s not so clear, but what is certain is that even if there are more than one of each, their number is few. In brief, the first record of these three Pokémon details how they died in a fire caused by a thunderstorm in a famous tower, now known as the Burnt Tower of Ecruteak. However Ho-oh, the legendary phoenix of Johto, was said to have brought them back to life during the incident while rain had put out the fire. Raikou, the Electric Pokémon was also granted the power of electricity – from the lightning strike – Entei became the Fire legendary, and Suicune the water legendary due to the rain from the storm. Suicune is said to roam the country-”

    “So essentially they became legendary from the incident?” Wes asked, receiving a nod in reply.

    “Mind you this is legend in itself, but there are certain things that seem to point to it – for instance they have often returned to the Burnt Tower by themselves,” Eusine explained.

    “All right then, knowing how they could have gotten here would be also useful information to have as well,” Sherles prompted. “After all, if they are native to Johto...”

    “That’s a good question. Although they can be fast enough to run on water – Suicune has done so itself many times in front of my eyes – I doubt they travelled an entire ocean to get here. There’s little reason after all, so I suspect that someone simply captured them in Johto or thereabouts and then they were brought here. It is not uncommon for thieves to search them out for a price to collectors or whatnot, but none have as divine a cause as myself!”

    “And... what cause is that?” Rui asked in confusion.

    “Quiet! My Suicune senses are tingling!” Eusine shouted as he charged off into the prison cells. An elated shout followed a moment later.

    “Well he most certainly likes Suicune...” Wes muttered as they followed the man. They found him grinning at Suicune’s cell, and Suicune giving a look of uncertainty back at him, seemingly recognising the man.

    “Oh, they have tainted you! I sense that you are not quite right...” Eusine said sadly after a moment.

    “Well... that’s true too, but how can you tell?” Rui asked, wondering if he could see an aura like herself.

    “Ah, well I have encountered Suicune many times before, and something... just feels off about it now,” Eusine said as he scratched his head, as Rui sighed slightly. “But we can perform a simple test!” he continued. “May someone fetch me a cup of water? Make sure it’s not clean by the way,” he added.

    “Johnson, fetch a clean glass of water please,” Sherles said as the officer ran off.

    “But I said....” Eusine said, but a moment later Johnson had returned with water with a green tinge to it and a few specks of dirt floating about in it.

    “Sorry about the water, but-” Johnson began before Eusine cut him off.

    “Well... anyway! This should likely be a good test,” the man said before holding the cup to Suicune’s face through the cell bars, who growled for a moment before its crest glowed a lighter blue for a brief moment. Eusine then retrieved the water – somehow it had become a more unpleasant green colour with an unpleasant smell to it.

    “Ah, that proves it then! You see, Suicune will travel far and wide in search of water to purify – but now Suicune has done the exact opposite to this water and made it dirtier!”

    “All right, I suppose that’s enough for now – we have something to attend to,” Sherles said with a smile.

    “I’ll stay here then,” Eusine said quickly, and upon seeing that the man was content with just watching the great beast the Sheriff motioned to the rest to return to the office.

    “Well he certainly solved one mystery for us,” he said when they got there.

    “And that is?” Wes asked.

    “Well, if the Shadow version of Suicune doesn’t purify water but makes it bad instead, then how do you suppose Cipher went about tainting the water supply in The Under? That, and given the fact Venus’ Pokémon all know Attract, including a ghost Pokémon and another known for producing many perfumes and potions from its flower...”

    “Wow, that...actually does explain how they brainwashed the town then,” Wes said. “I suppose that gave Suicune a good use to them then, although I can’t imagine they knew about that before acquiring that Pokémon...”

    “Well perhaps it was discovered when they were made into Shadow Pokémon,” Sherles said. “I hope they don’t have Ho-oh though as that legendary sounds like another to be linked to the Johto beasts. I’ll ask him more about it later. Anyways, that strange fellow was likely on to something as well with saying people may had been hired for a price to acquire it from such a distant region – because we know one person who would have had the money to purchase such Pokémon.”

    “Who?” came the inevitable question from Johnson. “Was it you?”

    “...No, Johnson, it wasn’t me,” Sherles said with a sigh.


    “No, the more likely answer is the Mayor himself,” Andrew said as he banged his head against a wall.

    “So that means he’s been helping Cipher directly if so...” Wes mused.

    “Thing is, he has vanished and we don’t know where he is. Maybe he’s at that Shadow Lab though which is our next port of call – news of our attack on The Under will likely spread quickly no thanks to these reporters and so it’s better we investigate that sooner rather than later.”

    “And how soon is that?” Wes asked.

    “Why, I suppose now is as good a time as any,” Sherles replied. “Duking can be in charge while I’m off. I take it you’ll be coming with us?”

    “Yes,” Wes and Rui replied in unison. Sherles smiled before he walked outside to begin giving orders with the ever-loyal Johnson rushing behind him to help out, as the two grinned at each other’s simultaneous answers.

    “Aww, young love,” Andrew drawled before he huffed and made to leave himself.

    “Wait a moment there,” Wes said, frowning. “I can’t say I exactly like you but what is your issue with me in the first place?”

    “Oh, just a few things, like you lucking out against a criminal organisation being the reason I’ve had to leave home to help out this... terribad region, and you being the reason that I’ve had to have Johnson talk to me excessively,” Andrew said angrily. “Heck, he asked me sixteen times about which way the toilet water spins. Sixteen! I counted because it was the only way for me to keep sane without my brain exploding from that man’s inanity,” he spat sarcastically. “And you were the one to tell him to do just so!”

    “...Okay, although I don’t think you should blame me for the former, I’ll admit that the latter was pretty low of me,” Wes admitted.

    “Yeah, it was,” Rui said as she lightly punched Wes in the arm who winced slightly.

    “But at any rate... I don’t like it and I think I’ve made enough enemies in Cipher and Team Snagem, so is there any way I can make it up to you?” Wes asked in a doubtful voice.

    Andrew looked at the teenager and thought for a moment before smiling sadistically. “Well I suppose there is one thing that’ll go some way...”

    “I don’t like that smile,” Wes said uncertainly.


    Meanwhile, as Dakim continued his training on the art of attacking people with chairs with what remained of the Cipher grunts in the main headquarters, his class was briefly interrupted as a window shattered from high above, followed shortly by the crashing of electronics by the group.

    “Man, what was that?” Dakim said as he poked at the smouldering mess.

    “That appears to be Nascour’s new television,” someone else answered. “Or was.”

    “So I take it he heard more bad news just now?” another queried.

    “STUPID VENUS! STUPID POLICE! STUPID...EVERYTHING!” was suddenly shouted from above before another object flew out.

    “And there goes his computer too,” muttered a third.

    “Man,” Dakim said, shaking his head.


    A few hours later as he made his way behind the rest of the police force’s convoy to the Cipher lab, Wes was regretting his offer to make up for his previous grievances to Andrew, and was desperately looking forward to arriving at their destination. He could see a set of gray buildings far into the distance and it was only a matter of time until they got there, but every minute taken to get there felt like an eternity to him.

    “Say Wes,” Johnson said from the side seat in the Zoomer, “what way do you think toilet water spins?”

    “I knew that it was a stupid idea to agree to have to travel with Johnson for the rest of the time he spent in Orre,” Wes muttered darkly under his breath.

    Luckily for him a few minutes later they arrived at their destination. Wes parked his vehicle by the others and eagerly jumped out as Johnson tried to figure out how to use his seat belt.

    “Enjoy the trip?” Andrew said to him, unable to resist a grin.

    “Shut up,” Wes mumbled. Rui however decided to ignore the two’s bickering and instead observed the building.

    “So, how do we get in?” Rui said.

    All turned to see why she would ask such a question and were greeted with the sight of fencing composed of light-blue lasers shimmering in the desert sunlight.

    “Well it turns out they’re pretty well guarded here,” Sherles remarked gruffly. “It’s not very high but I don’t think any of us can jump over it or anything with ease... maybe we’d need to use our Pokémon to get over but that would be a timely operation in itself- JOHNSON GET THE HECK AWAY FROM THERE!” Sherles barked, but Johnson was too busy inspecting the fence for himself.

    “I wonder if it’s hot?” Johnson said as he walked into the fence only to find himself on the other side, remarkably unaffected.

    “...Don’t tell me,” Rui said faintly, “that those lasers are fake...”

    “I...suppose they are,” Sherles said as he passed his wallet through the fence as well to confirm that Johnson hadn’t simply defied physics with his stupidity.

    “It’s almost a pity they were fake,” Andrew remarked.

    “I guess Johnson’s idiocy can be useful on these raids at times,” Sherles said with a shrug.

    “Hey, is anyone home?” Johnson yelled as he knocked on the door of the lab. He then caught sight of a security camera and began waving at it happily. “Hey Sherles, I think I’ll be on TV!” he shouted back, beaming.

    “Forget that I said that,” Sherles continued.


    Chaos filled the lab as news filtered through the ranks that the police had shown up, and even more so when two guards hired by Cipher revealed that they had ‘accidentally’ blown up the sole route to the underground station. The scientists ran about in a frenzy as the Cipher agents argued over who should be in the front line to try and fight off the police force.

    Unsurprisingly, the racket woke up Ein who stepped out of his room to find the lab in a mass panic. He yawned as he frowned at the anarchy.

    “What’s going on?” he shouted at the room. “I wanted some sleep and I find all of you having a rave party instead of doing work!”

    “Doom, doom, all is doomed!” a researcher shouted as he ran about in circles.

    “Quiet, you,” Ein said as he slapped the man, the sound echoing around the complex – a few took notice and then more noticed those; within a mere moment all had quietened down.

    “Now, what’s going on?” Ein repeated slowly.

    “Okay, in short, we’ve been found out,” one person mumbled. “The police are outside and they already realised the laser fence is fake.”

    “Hmm, I knew that we shouldn’t have cut corners on defence but we did need more funds on the project itself,” Ein replied bitterly. “So what’s the-”

    “And the route to the underground train system has been blocked off,” another added.

    “But why is-” Ein began before he was cut off by the PA system suddenly playing extremely loud, upbeat music comprised mostly of a piano tune.

    “What the heck is Miror B up to now?” Ein shouted.

    “I thought he knew about the attack, but I guess-”

    “Never mind that now then, just turn it off! You lot have electric types, so get to protecting this room with them then if you have any sense. Light Screens and electricity should do for a while to hold them off. Meanwhile I’ll get to trying to erase this data before I’ll give the signal for retreat – we can at worst make our own path to the train,” he added as he retreated to his room. As the researchers began to organise themselves however, he mused.

    And by ‘we’, I mean me, but I don’t think the fools need to know that.


    “Good, that’ll distract them! I’m sure of it,” Miror B smiled as he inserted the CD into the system. “Ah, and one of my favourite tunes as well! But maybe I should choose this tune instead... or maybe-”

    “I suppose, but shouldn’t you just make your escape now?” Skrub said.

    “Ah yes, escape is a fine idea,” sang Miror B as he continued to dance towards the exit before stopping midway. “Wait a moment, you said you instead of we!”

    “Well, it has been good meeting you and all,” Skrub began, deliberately choosing to leave out how his constant playing of music and insistence to teach him how to tango had got on his nerves a bit, “but I’ve a good reason to stay behind – I need to have one last shot at someone seeing as I saw them with the police force from that video footage.”

    “And who is that?” Miror B asked.

    “Wes. I can blame him for my demotion after all seeing my loss to him is the reason for it. I don’t care much about being caught by the police as I figure I will be in the end anyway – Cipher’s doomed anyhow now. I just want to battle him again and hopefully win this time – he’s the cause of my own downfall. And maybe I’ll still be able to escape afterwards and walk back to headquarters via the same route.”

    “Ah, that fellow,” Miror B frowned. “I didn’t realise he was here and I suppose that’s all the more reason to get out of here. I wish you luck for he is a mighty battler indeed who has proved himself worthy of battling to my beat! I’ll put in a good word for you if I can as agreed should you be caught, be sure of that!” With that the two shook hands before Miror B continued to dance off, radio in one hand and a bag of belongings in another as Skrub went in the opposite direction.

    “Now, I hope everyone else didn’t go to the train as well~” Miror B sung to himself as he opened a door and walked down the stairs to the train station, only to stop as he saw what had happened to the room before him.

    “Oh yeah... Well, that’s simply un-fabulous,” he said as he inspected the gorge in front of him. “But I don’t think that should stop me – come out, my lovelies!”

    Two Ludicolo appeared and quacked musically at their man before they began to dance.

    “Not just now, Ludicolo,” Miror B said with a grin. “Firstly we need to make a path! You can make a constant Water Gun attack on the opposite side of that gap there,” he instructed to one as he pointed at the point in question, “and you perform Icy Wind afterwards in the same direction.”

    The two Pokémon quacked and obliged – as the first sprayed water from its mouth the other clapped its hands and spun around twice before exhaling a cold gust at the water jet, causing the water to promptly freeze. Within half a minute a makeshift bridge of ice had been made.

    “Excellent; our very own bridge over troubled water!” Miror B sung as he slid across the new pathway. His two Ludicolo crossed over the gorge as well and then joined Miror B in a conga dance towards the train.

    “So it’s just us!” Miror B said as he stepped inside, only to notice Tom sleeping upside-down.

    “Okay, one passenger... what an unkempt hairstyle though!” Miror B frowned before checking his bag. “Ah yes, good thing I still have Folly and Trudly’s!” he exclaimed as he pulled out a fake afro in the same style as his and placed it on the man’s head.

    “There, much more groovy!” he exclaimed as he then turned to the controls and pressed some buttons, sending the train on its way. “Now, my Ludicolo,” he said as he released his remaining Pokémon, “what say we turn this trip into a party train?”

    The Ludicolo quacked happily in response.


    “Why are Cipher having a party here?” Rui asked Wes as they entered the laboratory behind the group of police who had begun the battle. A bunch of nervous scientists and Cipher agents stood behind a barrier of electricity and Light Screens conjured up by an array of Magnemite, Magneton and Electrode, while Sherles begun directing the police force’s attacks against said barricade. Their army of Growlithe were forced to currently attack from afar as any that strayed to close were promptly shocked by stray sparks.

    But what was out of place was the loud music playing throughout the building. And despite the situation, the music was strangely catchy.

    “That’s a good question,” Wes said as he observed the battle, trying to decide the best place to join in. “If I were to hazard a guess...”

    “There, this should override it!” one scientist sitting by a computer suddenly shouted as he typed away, only to cover his ears as the music was replaced by a loud, obnoxious siren instead. Everyone glared at him, including his own colleagues.

    “Oh god no,” one shouted at him. “At least turn off the sound, don’t replace it with that!”

    “But I can’t,” the former shouted back as he tried to further change the settings. “Whatever he did, he rigged it up pretty well... but maybe this will help us!”

    “Well change it back!” one of the policemen shouted angrily.

    “Or we’ll press extra charges for noise pollution!” Johnson added.

    “How will the alarm help us!?” another scientist cried. “We’re the only ones who are going to hear it and we’re in trouble!”

    “Fine,” the scientist shouted back before undoing his actions, only for a different song to begin playing. The Pokémon ceased their attacks as they looked at the speakers above their heads in puzzlement, as did their trainers.

    You can dance, you can jive,
    Having the time of your life,

    “What the hell?” Andrew grumbled as all paused in the battle as they noticed the music as well, as Wes suddenly snapped his fingers.

    “Only one person would play that sort of music here – Miror B!”

    Ooh see that girl, watch that scene,
    Dig in the dancing queen.

    “What is he doing here then?” Rui exclaimed as the other policemen tried to ignore the music and resumed their Pokémon’s attacks on the barrier, fire colliding with the wall of light over and over with little effect. “And why is he playing music over the PA system?”

    “Who knows but... well, we’ll worry about that later,” Sherles said as he observed the battle. “Firstly we need to get past this barrier in some other manner as we’re doing naught, but we’d need a Pokémon to be able to take electric attacks. Rui, I’d suggest you use your Quagsire...”

    “Sure!” she said, releasing her Pokémon. Quagsire looked about before assuming his usual indifferent gaze, seemingly immune to the distraction of the music.

    “Quagsire, go towards the barrier and knock it down,” Rui commanded. The Pokémon nodded and lumbered forward as Wes released four of his Pokémon as well.

    “Makuhita, break the barrier but only when I say to do so. Espeon, Umbreon and Feraligatr, go in when the barricade is clear.”

    “Makuhita!” (Why must strange music keep playing during battles?) Makuhita complained.

    “Umbre...” (Now I want to dance...) Umbreon moaned. Meanwhile the opposing side had noticed the Quagsire begin striking at the barrier with his flippers, making it shake visibly. Panicked at the Pokémon’s apparent disregard for the danger and continually distracted by the music, they ordered their Pokémon to focus their electric attacks upon it only to quickly realise it was immune due to its typing.

    They weren’t quick enough however.

    “Right, Makuhita – Brick Break the barrier yourself!” Wes commanded.

    Dancing queen, feel the beat of the tambourine, oh yeah...

    “Maku Hita!” (Tambourines can die!) the Fighting Pokémon shouted as he charged forward and struck the barrier himself, shattering it out of existence. A wave of Pokémon from their side followed as the police responded to Makuhita's success, now with no barrier to stop them from continuing their assault. The pack of Growlithe swarmed the rest, delivering fire attacks with remarkable precision. Umbreon and Espeon moved forward and began their own attacks on an Electrode and quickly took it down, while Feraligatr crept up on an unsuspecting Cipher grunt and held him up high above the ground.

    “Please don’t hurt me,” the man whispered as he stared in fear. Feraligatr glared back before shrugging.

    “Fera!” (Sure!) he said as he lowered the man down. He sighed with relief, only for Makuhita to run past and deliver an almighty punch to the unfortunate man, before nodding his thanks to the Feraligatr.

    “Bring me back up bring me back up!” the man cried.

    “Right, splitting up time!” Sherles shouted as a few researchers decided to hide underneath desks in a desperate bid to avoid being arrested as others tried to bravely fight on, before quickly giving up and running off into separate rooms, leaving the rest of their comrades behind. “Take a corridor and make sure we’ve got everyone! Rui, I’ll need you to identify any Shadow Pokémon we find here from these people, so I suggest you stay here – no need for you to go running off after all.”

    Makuhita cheered and punched a chair before running off in search of more people to whack about. Wes noticed the Pokémon run down a corridor while he punched every door he passed and decided to give chase, as he recalled his other Pokémon.

    “I’ll be back soon!” he called.


    As the assault continued, another smaller police presence was currently searching in the midst of Eclo Canyon for the remainder of Team Snagem, and in particular their leader Gonzap. This was proving to be more annoying than they had anticipated as it turned out that the members not yet caught knew their surroundings far better than them and hence were able to avoid their investigations thus far. They would have thought that there had been nobody left in the area if not for the fact that they were pelted with objects such as stones and pieces of metal and on one occasion, eggs from above.

    That had been a particularly unpleasant encounter.

    The leader of the group however was sure that now they had them as they advanced towards a cave they suspected was their hideout. They had ruled out every other likely possibility and furthermore their Growlithe had picked up their tracks.

    “Yes, that has to be them,” he said with more than a hint of pride in his voice to the others as he peeked around a corner. “I can see the minute yet tell-tale signs that this must be their current hideaway!”

    “And what are those?” one asked.

    “Well for one, there’s a banner stating that ‘Team Snagem are teh best’ outside that cave,” he replied.

    “Not very minute but I suppose it’s a sign all right.” The rest then made formation and waited a moment before sprinting into the cave and sending out their Growlithe to enable them to see in the dark via their fire abilities.

    “Surrender, Team Snagem!” the leader shouted triumphantly as they ran. “This is the police, and you are completely surroun-AAAAAA!” he suddenly screamed as the ground beneath him and the rest of his team gave way and they fell into a deep pit. Muttering darkly to himself as the others moaned in pain and picked themselves out of the muddy bottom, the leader looked up to find only a sole Growlithe had avoided the trap as it peered back at him.

    “Go... go get help,” he said as he wiped mud off his face. The Pokémon nodded and started to run off, only to promptly return to sight and look at the leader again.

    “No, you can have a treat afterwards,” he replied firmly.

    The Pokémon began to whine in protest before suddenly yelping as a boot appeared from behind it and sent it into the pit. After checking that the dog was alright, the policeman turned back to find himself looking up at Gonzap and a number of Team Snagem grunts.

    “...Hello there,” he said weakly.

    “I see our time spent digging that up was worth the effort! For you see, I think you’re the ones surrounded now,” Gonzap laughed. The other grunts began to laugh too before Gonzap turned around.

    “Quiet, it’s my turn to laugh!” he said. They fell quiet before Gonzap sighed.

    “Never mind, you ruined this fine moment anyway for me. At any rate,” he continued, now addressing the police again, “I wouldn’t worry too much about being caught,” he said, unable to help but smile.

    “...Why is that?” one policeman asked.

    “Well you see, it’s simple! Why, it’ll even largely benefit you! You stop chasing up – leave us be, release the rest of our team members, what have you – and we won’t hurt you much!”

    “That hardly sounds fair,” another muttered.

    “No, it probably doesn’t, but you’re in the pit and I’m not,” Gonzap said.

    “He has a point,” another Team Snagem member added.

    “Besides...” Gonzap continued after glaring at his member to silently convey to him to let him do the talking, “we’re willing to also do one other thing.”

    “And that is...?”

    “We’ll show you where Cipher’s main headquarters are. Oh, you’ll kick yourself for not having found it yet!”


    Skrub sighed as he stared at the security system upon a door leading to a room that Ein was in currently. He had caught sight of him and told him to help one of the scientists lock the door as means of a barrier between him and the police force outside. He didn’t dare ignore him then and there to blow his cover, but it was wasting precious time he didn’t have to spare.

    “Why are we basing the password on these DNA samples we took of the Shadow Pokémon?” he asked the person who was furiously fumbling through a catalogue of said samples.

    “WHO CARES JUST INPUT SOMETHING IN IT IT’S THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF!” he screamed as he threw a bunch of tubes at the former. Skrub sighed as he caught some and began entering in data as Dancing Queen continued to play.

    “Man, we’re so doomed!” the scientist continued. “The police are approaching like a big...doom thing and we’ll never hold them off! I should have listened to my mother and just worked in the toothpaste industry!”

    “Shut up,” Skrub said as he finished setting up a password.

    “AAAAAAAAAA!” the other person continued to scream.

    “Will you can it? It’s bloody distracting!” Skrub shouted angrily at the other, before he realised why he had been yelling - a Makuhita had suddenly turned up and had begun pounding the scientist with great delight. Noticing the Pokémon seemed too preoccupied to notice him, he quickly jumped around the corner and lay still as he glanced around it.

    “What the...wait, I remember you,” Skrub said uneasily to himself quietly.

    “Hita hita!” (You’re fun to punch!) Makuhita grinned at the scientist.

    “Oh...there you are,” Wes said as he came running up the corridor a few seconds later, panting. “Good work, Makuhita, but I think you’ve had enough punching hapless people today.” Makuhita scowled at this news as Skrub quickly thought things out in his mind.

    Can I actually do this? I mean...his Makuhita seems stronger than before and so his other Pokémon must also be of similar strength. I’ve still only got the Pokémon I used against him the last time around. And come to think of it, I’d rather not get punched like that poor guy.. in the open maybe I’d risk it, but in this tight space and all with the chance of someone else coming around to help him... The Cipher peon glanced at the man lying on the floor.

    “My arm isn’t meant to bend like thaaaaat,” he moaned.

    Yep, definitely not. However...

    “Let’s go on further first and see what’s in this room before coming back then,” Wes said to his Pokémon as he walked in. “Maybe there’s something of note here?”

    Watching Wes and Makuhita walk deeper into the room, Skrub seized his chance and sprang to the door and slammed it shut before locking it. Wes quickly turned around and walked to the door, frowning as he found himself unable to open it, and further still as Makuhita punched it unsuccessfully. Skrub meanwhile laughed to himself as he began running for the subway.

    Haha, that’ll do nicely – that door’s hard to break. I can’t have my rematch yet against him, but at least I’ll get out of here alive with some more luck – I can always walk via the tracks. And furthermore, Wes can have some fun with the likes of Ein – if his battling prowess is anything to go by, he’ll give him a run for his money, no doubt. And Ein will have a hard time escaping himself!


    Yay another 'end-it-before-an-admin-battle begins' ending ohohoho aren't I original. =p

    The two Cipher Peons - they're unnamed in the game, but I went and named them after my username as a personal throwback to a comedy script I wrote ages back which involved two characters called (surprise surprise) Bob and Bill (which is what I based my username off when I discovered forums!). They're somewhat similar here compared to how they were there.

    Their actions are also fairly similar to the game's version - they see you, panic, run off and blow up a room. No, really. It seems the game realised that it would be too easy for you to get into the lab that way so to stop you they explode an entire room. Apparently nobody else notices, but at least the cipher peons comment on how extreme their action was after doing so.

    Eusine - not in the Colosseum game, but an amusing picture by a friend and my liking for the character complled me to put him in as a different way to info dump the stuff about Suicune and how Venus got everyone to worship her. =p Besides - given the Johto beasts usually run around Johto, they fact they suddenly turn up in Orre and all made me think someone had to notice this. Speaking of which, why they're in Cipher's possession is never explained, hence the bit about the speculation on them being imported over (I imagine one of those Pokemon Hunter groups would have been employed).

    - Shadow Lab - protected by a fence made of light or lasers. Somehow. =/ Otherwise it's a boring building in the middle of the desert (but it looks decent on the inside), with a very unfitting but darn catchy theme. Seriously - this is the place where they make shadow Pokemon - you know, seal the doors to the hearts, make them evil, etc - yet the tune is so...upbeat! Surely only Miror B could be responsible for this.

    And yet, as you near the end, a scientist after a battle goes and replaces it with an alarm. An annoying alarm that continues for the rest. An alarm that does nothing but annoy you. (For despite what he says, you can just walk out and nobody ever comes to help them when the alarm is on!) Probably the most annoying part of the game, that alarm.

    All the scientists have Electrode or Magnemite/Magneton, which cipher peons have some more variation.

    Password door - there really is a door in the lab leading to Ein which has a password based on DNA samples. =/ I presume they came from the Shadow Pokemon but... it's a weird combination for them to use!

    Gonzap - he clearly knows where the cipher hideout is as he shows up there himself at one point. However given during Colosseum to XD he goes from working with Cipher to against them...he's already on that side himself. During the game he keeps trying to keep Team Snagem together as well.
    Hope you enjoyed and all!
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2011
  19. I highly enjoyed that chapter. Finally! A lot of funny moments, and no mistakes that I saw. Keep these good chapters comin'!
  20. Missingno. Master

    Missingno. Master Poison-type Trainer

    “My arm isn’t meant to bend like thaaaaat,â€

    New chapter, yeah! I was not expecting that laser fence to be fake, and Miror B. was, as always, awesome! Eusine was an unexpected surprise, but now that I think of it, given his total obsession with Suicune, I'm a little surprised he didn't show up during the original Colosseum at any point. A little.

    XD at Bob and Bill... I can't believe I didn't notice that until you pointed it out at the end of the chapter!

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