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The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum

D. Scott

Well-Known Member
“No... wait a second, Bob, I believe that’s an intruder there,” the other replied. “Only one person and we’d have heard if it was Venus by now.”

“Oh, so it seems, Bill,” Bob replied, scratching his head.

O-ho. I see what you did there.

“So, as I was saying, you’ve got to have cheese in there – sure, making it from scratch may not be easy when...”

...I wonder what they were talking about...

She took to screaming for her fans to save her from such a grubby place and put her on a television show before she died of a lack of cherry-flavoured lipstick, until Rui had enough of her shouts disrupting any possible conversations and threatened to let Quagsire sit with her in the cell. This had also worked extraordinarily well.

Why, I don't see how. I'd love Quagsire for company, personally.

It took a good dose of food and in Umbreon’s case television, and Makuhita’s case anger management heaped upon Johnson to take their mind off the Delcatty initially, but afterwards they seemed to have forgotten about the cat Pokémon’s existence completely, bar Espeon who seemed somewhat embarrassed about the whole event. Johnson seemed the most relieved to see them make a full recovery.

Now I don't know how I should interpret that last line. But let's just say the way I did, it made me laugh. Hard.

we learnt about from the Kids Grid

On a side-note, my inner grammar nazi wants to correct this. Darned alternate spellings. D:

Suddenly a man burst into a room, panting heavily. All turned to look at this newcomer – Wes quickly noted his ridiculous get-up which consisted of purple magician-esque clothing complete with cape and bow-tie.

“Where’s my darling Suicune!?” he shouted at them. His eyes darted back and forth as he looked frantically around the room.

B&B YOU ARE MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON MARRY ME <3

“Well he most certainly likes Suicune...” Wes muttered as they followed the man.

Wonder what gave him that idea?

“Heck, he asked me sixteen times about which way the toilet water spins. Sixteen! I counted because it was the only way for me to keep sane without my brain exploding from that man’s inanity,” he spat sarcastically.

Lol, I was about to correct “inanity”, but off a whim, I googled it. Nice vocabulary.

“...Okay, although I don’t think you should blame me for the former, I’ll admit that the latter was pretty low of me,” Wes admitted.
“Yeah, it is,” Rui said as she lightly punched Wes in the arm who winced slightly.

FINALLY! Something I can correct! Needs to be a break between these two. Lines, that is. Not characters. <3 ColosseumShipping.

“I wonder if it’s hot?” Johnson said as he walked into the fence

ANYONE WANT SOME FRIED-

only to find himself on the other side, remarkably unaffected.
...Awwww.


And by ‘we’, I mean me, but I don’t think the fools need to know that.

Line sent shivers down my spine. Ein is an epic villain.

“Excellent; our very own bridge over troubled water!” Miror B sung as he slid across the new pathway. His two Ludicolo crossed over the gorge as well and then joined Miror B in a conga dance towards the train.

WHY IS THIS CHAPTER SO AWESOME

You a Simon and Garfunkel fan, or just decided to use the phrase? Either way, you're still being awesome.


You can dance, you can jive,
Having the time of your life,

ROFL

“Maku Hita!” (Tambourines can die!)

GOOD OL' MAKUHITA. Lol.

“Fera!” (Sure!) he said as he lowered the man down. He sighed with relief, only for Makuhita to run past and deliver an almighty punch to the unfortunate man, before nodding his thanks to the Feraligatr.

The very definition of teamwork!

completely surron-AAAAAA”

surroun*, technically, and either a comma or preferably an exclamation point should end this sentence.

Great chapter as usual, b&b. Looking forward to the next!
 

GroundBlaze

Starter Keeper
[/QUOTE] “And who is that?” Miror B asked. “Wes. I can blame him for my demotion after all seeing my loss to him is the reason for it. I don’t care much about being caught by the police as I figure I will be in the end anyway – Cipher’s doomed anyhow now. I just want to battle him again and hopefully win this time – he’s the cause of my own downfall. And maybe I’ll still be able to escape afterwards and walk back to headquarters via the same route.” “Ah, that fellow,” Miror B frowned.


“I didn’t realise he was here and I suppose that’s all the more reason to get out of here. I wish you luck for he is a mighty battler indeed who has proved himself worthy of battling to my beat! [/QUOTE]

That is honor: to rechallenge a greater battler

Also there is no higher praise than being worthy of the Beat for unlike Miricale B. Wes is worthy of the Afro

(another Quote)“Eusine, at your service,” Eusine replied with a grin. “Here, have my business card,” he added as he conjured one out of thin air into his gloved hands and gave it to the bewildered policeman. Andrew looked at him before glancing at the card – it was covered in sparkles and a poorly drawn image of Eusine and Suicune with the phrase ‘best friends’ written messily below it.(end quote)

That made me laugh so hard my voice died
 
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Treecko's Awesomeness

Treecko is claimed!
Hooray for new chapters!

YES! ANOTHER CHAPTER IS OUT! *whimpers with happiness* Once again, awesomeness belongs to you. Here. Have a cookie. No. Have SEVERAL COOKIES(attached)! I loved the chapter as always, and really have no complaints.
defied physics with his stupidity
Honestly, with Jonson, I wouldn't be surprised. The scene with bob and bill was hilarious, and I can't believe I didn't catch that until the end. All in all, this chapter gets five out of five treeckos. ;252;;252;;252;;252;;252;

-TA
 

Phoopes

There it is.
Yet another amazing chapter.... and here are some of the highlights.

1. Cipher Peons Bob and Bill.
2. "My Suicune senses are tingling!" lol.
3. Dancing Queen. Nice choice there.
4. "No, you can have a treat afterwards." My dog would be the same way...

So, yeah. I didn't notice any grammatical errors, and as always, the chapter was funny and flowed well. You are a true Pokemon Colosseum genius-keep up the fantastic writing!
 

ChaosMudkip

Tepig Hunter
This chapter is your best chapter without battles yet. You make a siege out of the Shadow Pokemon Lab invasion, you give Miror B another role and give him Cipher camaraderie with Skrub (he who wishes he was not named so). You throw in Eusine, one of the best characters in any Pokemon game, and you also did include the idiotic "nuke the basement to stop them" scene. Nice job, man. Can't wait for the next one.
 

Blue Astra

Icy blue
Oh look, a review!

Awesome chapter as always, although it seemed more serious to me than usually, especially the part in the police station. Anyway, it was still funny to death.

Quote Time!

Tom began his sixteenth attempt at convincing the train to stop moving so fast and noisily, but yet again had little success. No matter how many times he waved his empty bottle of beer or sung obscure national anthems, the train continued on its way as it rattled loudly through the dark tunnel and paid the man no heed.

Such a tragedy. Train nowadays don’t appreciate empty bottles of beer and national anthems. Such a tragedy. (sniff)

He frowned – he had been having a most enthralling conversation with his colleague about the intricacies of making sandwiches with limited supplies in dangerous situations.

Sandwiches are the most vital item for surviving. Especially if you are threatened by a hungry lion that loves sandwiches…

The two were pretty low on the Cipher ladder and hence knew little about what actually went on in the lab save the essentials, and had already exhausted far more normal topics three weeks ago.

Making sandwiches in dangerous situations is the most normal and important topic there. Maybe they are threatened by hungry Shadow Pokémon that love sandwiches or Rui’s Quagsire…

“So, as I was saying, you’ve got to have cheese in there – sure, making it from scratch may not be easy when...”

Cheese is the most important ingredient. Three hoorays for cheese!

“So I guess blowing up this whole room was a bit over the top, wouldn’t you say?”

Nooo, why would you said that?

As they had run out of space in the normal jail cells they had resorted to chaining the new prisoners to the top of the building while a new temporary prison could be constructed, and gave each a piece of cardboard to protect themselves from the sun.

Epic. Simply epic.

They hadn’t been happy about the arrangement but stopped protesting when Sherles suggested that they perhaps preferred being given the Orre law treatment. It turned out that everyone had been rather fond of their left arm.

Recent surveys have shown that the left arm is vital for the existence of Cipher grunts and is the reason for their high IQ…

Sherles then sighed as he stared at papers of notes, many of them detailing trivial matters such as how the cost of soap was being affected by their progress.

How are humans supposed to live without soap? If the cost of soap rises even more, we might see a revolution in Orre.

“Ah, who are you?” Sherles said, standing up to greet him.

I don’t think the newcomer was so great to be greated.

“Maybe you’d like some éclairs,” Johnson offered.

“Are they shaped like Suicune?” the man asked. Johnson gazed at the pastries.

“They look more like...just like éclairs, actually...”

Funnylicious.

Ésp Espeon-espi,” (I take it Sherles has asked this person to come to clear up some plot points-er, give more info on Suicune,) Espeon offered.

Í suppose that gave Suicune a good use to them then, although I can’t imagine they knew about that before acquiring that Pokémon...”

Are you studying French or Spanish?

“...Okay, although I don’t think you should blame me for the former, I’ll admit that the latter was pretty low of me,” Wes admitted.
“Yeah, it is,”
Rui said as she lightly punched Wes in the arm who winced slightly.

I guess you need to change paragraph there.

Meanwhile, as Dakim continued his training on the art of attacking people with with what remained of the Cipher grunts in the main headquarters,

Minor mistake.

“It’s not very high but I don’t think any of us can jump over it or anything with ease... maybe we’d need to use our Pokémon to get over but that would be a timely operation in itself- JOHNSON GET THE HECK AWAY FROM THERE!”Sherles barked, but Johnson was too busy inspecting the fence for himself.

You need a space there, but still hilarious.

The scientists ran about in a frenzy as the cipher agents argued over who should be in the front line to try and fight off the police force.

while Feraligatr crept up on an unsuspecting cipher grunt and held him up high above the ground.

Shouldn’t it be with a capital ‘C’?

“That’s a good question,” Wes said as he observed the battle, trying to decide the best place to join in the battle.

The second ‘battle’ could be replaced by just ‘in it’.

“Maku Hita!” (Tambourines can die!)

NO! How are we supposed to live without tambourines?

A wave of Pokémon from their side followed as the police followed his lead, now with no barrier to stop them from continuing their assault.

You needed a space there.

“I’ll be back (soon)!” he called

I guess ‘soon’ could be skipped and Wes’ voice would be deeper and his muscles would become huge. Let’s not forget the sign that would say ‘Terminator for Hire’.

“That hardly sounds fair,” another mattered.

You meant ‘muttered’.

Noticing the Pokémon seem too preoccupied to notice him, he quickly jumped around the corner and lay still as he glanced around it.

Maybe ‘seemed’ would be better?

Keep up the awesome work. You don’t know how relieved I was to hear that I didn’t have to become a granny to see the end to your afrotastic fic. Dying to see the next chapter. Oh, and I liked it that you used the number 'sixteen' so much. It's my favourite.

~Truthfully Yours~
 
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“Doom, doom, all is doomed!†a researcher shouted as he ran about in circles.

“Quick, run – we’ll blow up the entrance!” Bob said, and with that the two sprinted through the doorway. Confused, Tom continued to follow slowly, only to fall over again as a sudden explosion rocked the ground. He got up after a minute and peered in – the room in front of him was scorched an ugly black and split in two, with the two other men on the other side of the newly created gorge.

“...Oh, he’s just a drunkard,” Bill stated, noticing the beer bottle in Tom’s hand.
I demand a reduction in their salary!

The same could not be said for citizens of The Under who went into a huge withdrawal upon realising that Venus’ show was no longer airing, and later on that she had been removed from The Under completely. Much gnashing of teeth and wailings of ‘YOU’RE OUR VENUSSSS’ were shouted by all under her spell at inanimate objects, so Sherles had imposed a barrier around all lifts from Pyrite to The Under until they could replace the water supply.
Yep. Withdrawal is a horrible thing to go through. This particular case sounds horrible!

Suddenly a man burst into a room, panting heavily. All turned to look at this newcomer – Wes quickly noted his ridiculous get-up which consisted of purple magician-esque clothing complete with cape and bow-tie.
“Where’s my darling Suicune!?” he shouted at them. His eyes darted back and forth as he looked frantically around the room.
Heh heh. Eusine.

“He scares me,” Rui said quietly to Wes who nodded his agreement.

“Maybe you’d like some éclairs,” Johnson offered.

“Are they shaped like Suicune?” the man asked. Johnson gazed at the pastries.
*facepalm*

“Anyway! I have done many years of research upon them after all. It’s said there’s only one of each ofthem around at any one time but that’s not so clear, but what is certain is that even if there are more than one of each, their number is few. In brief, the first record of these three Pokémon details how they died in a fire caused by a thunderstorm in a famous tower, now known as the Burnt Tower of Ecruteak. However Ho-oh, the legendary phoenix of Johto, was said to have brought them back to life during the incident while rain had put out the fire. Raikou, the Electric Pokémon was also granted the power of electricity – from the lightning strike – Entei became the Fire legendary, and Suicune the water legendary due to the rain from the storm. Suicune is said to roam the country-”
Excellent use of the Johto legends there.

“But I said....” Eusine said, but a moment later Johnson had returned with water with a green tinge to it and a few specks of dirt floating about in it.
Ew. I ain't drinking that!

somehow it had become a more unpleasant green colour with an unpleasant smell to it.
*gag*

news of our attack on The Under will likely spread quickly no thanks to these reporters and so it’s better we investigate that sooner rather than later.”
I hate those reporters.

Andrew said angrily. “Heck, he asked me sixteen times about which way the toilet water spins. Sixteen! I counted because it was the only way for me to keep sane without my brain exploding from that man’s inanity,” he spat sarcastically. “And you were the one to tell him to do just so!”
That reminds me. Which way does toilet water spin again?

Meanwhile, as Dakim continued his training on the art of attacking people with with what remained of the Cipher grunts in the main headquarters, his class was briefly interrupted as a window shattered from high above, followed shortly by the crashing of electronics by the group.

“Man, what was that?” Dakim said as he poked at the smouldering mess.

“That appears to be Nascour’s new television,” someone else answered. “Or was.”

“So I take it he heard more bad news just now?” another queried.

“STUPID VENUS! STUPID POLICE! STUPID...EVERYTHING!” was suddenly shouted from above before another object flew out.

“And there goes his computer too,” muttered a third.

“Man,” Dakim said, shaking his head.
Okay. Whoever's in charge of shopping for Nascour's electronics needs to stop buying them.

“I wonder if it’s hot?” Johnson said as he walked into the fence only to find himself on the other side, remarkably unaffected.

“...Don’t tell me,” Rui said faintly, “that those lasers are fake...”
Admittedly, it is an unusual security system. It relies more on psychology rather than force.
“It’s almost a pity they were fake,” Andrew remarked.
Yeah. Almost.
“Good, that’ll distract them! I’m sure of it,” Miror B smiled as he inserted the CD into the system. “Ah, and one of my favourite tunes as well! But maybe I should choose this tune instead... or maybe-”
I'm not sure how to respond to this.
“Okay, one passenger... what an unkempt hairstyle though!” Miror B frowned before checking his bag. “Ah yes, good thing I still have Folly and Trudly’s!” he exclaimed as he pulled out a fake afro in the same style as his and placed it on the man’s head.
o_O

“Fine,” the scientist shouted back before undoing his actions, only for a different song to begin playing. The Pokémon ceased their attacks as they looked at the speakers above their heads in puzzlement, as did their trainers.

You can dance, you can jive,
Having the time of your life,

“What the hell?” Andrew grumbled as all paused in the battle as they noticed the music as well, as Wes suddenly snapped his fingers.

“Only one person would play that sort of music here – Miror B!”

Ooh see that girl, watch that scene,
Dig in the dancing queen.
Yep. Miror B.

“Well for one, there’s a banner stating that ‘Team Snagem are teh best’ outside that cave,” he replied.
Well, they're good, but not "teh best."

“Why are we basing the password on these DNA samples we took of the Shadow Pokémon?” he asked the person who was furiously fumbling through a catalogue of said samples.

“WHO CARES JUST INPUT SOMETHING IN IT IT’S THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF!” he screamed as he threw a bunch of tubes at the former. Skrub sighed as he caught some and began entering in data as Dancing Queen continued to play.
I always wondered about the DNA sample lock.

“My arm isn’t meant to bend like thaaaaat,” he moaned.
...ouch.

Yay another 'end-it-before-an-admin-battle begins' ending ohohoho aren't I original. =p
;_;

- Shadow Lab - protected by a fence made of light or lasers. Somehow. =/ Otherwise it's a boring building in the middle of the desert (but it looks decent on the inside), with a very unfitting but darn catchy theme. Seriously - this is the place where they make shadow Pokemon - you know, seal the doors to the hearts, make them evil, etc - yet the tune is so...upbeat! Surely only Miror B could be responsible for this.
It is a catchy tune! ^_^

All in all, an excellent chapter as usual. I'm looking forward to the next one.
 

Glover

Pain in Rocket side
My reviewings of this chapter (note, I'm still missing a few dozen out of the middle...)

New chapter, yeah! I was not expecting that laser fence to be fake, and Miror B. was, as always, awesome! Eusine was an unexpected surprise, but now that I think of it, given his total obsession with Suicune, I'm a little surprised he didn't show up during the original Colosseum at any point. A little.

XD at Bob and Bill... I can't believe I didn't notice that until you pointed it out at the end of the chapter!

Eusine showing up would imply a nasty little thing called continuity, which we all know can't happen between serieses.

I quite like his presence too, though as I recall, Eusine showed up in The Legend of Thunder, so he might have more than a passing interest in the other two dogs/beasts/gerbils

As such, The only one with any real power over Orre is Entei, in that he may have some control over the volcano, and Raikou IF you argue the storms on Citadark were present during Colleseaum, but that's a stretch. There is no mass body of water save for Phenac itself to draw Suicune.

It's possible that Ho-Oh of Orre summoned/created them due to the catastrophy of the shadow Pokemon and they themselves got swept up. I'm curious to see over the 4 years how you tied up these ends.
Note Citadark was an XD-only location, not Colosseum, so that doesn't even work in Raikou's case. XD
Not XD, Colosseum. You just said that. Geez, you're getting your games confused already!
(Was the emoticon joke funny the first 3 billion times?)

As they had run out of space in the normal jail cells they had resorted to chaining the new prisoners to the top of the building while a new temporary prison could be constructed, and gave each a piece of cardboard to protect themselves from the sun. They hadn’t been happy about the arrangement but stopped protesting when Sherles suggested that they perhaps preferred being given the Orre law treatment. It turned out that everyone had been rather fond of their left arm.
have I mentioned I like Sherles? Though I must ask, if one is chained to the roof, how does one hold cardboard?

“I wonder if it’s hot?” Johnson said as he walked into the fence only to find himself on the other side, remarkably unaffected.
Is it sad I was kinda dissapointed?

“I...suppose they are,” Sherles said as he passed his wallet through the fence as well to confirm that Johnson hadn’t simply defied physics with his stupidity.
Quote of Win

Haha, that’ll do nicely – that door’s hard to break. I can’t have my rematch yet against him, but at least I’ll get out of here alive with some more luck – I can always walk via the tracks. And furthermore, Wes can have some fun with the likes of Ein – if his battling prowess is anything to go by, he’ll give him a run for his money, no doubt. And Ein will have a hard time escaping himself!
Evil conniving little backstabber. I don;t remember Skrub.

You know, maybe it's high past time I fire up Colloseum again.
 
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yellownick15

Active Member
New Chapter!!!!! Weeeeee!!!!
Well anywasys that was funny as hell, i just kept laughing at Bob's and Bill's consersation, that was just epic.
I think the Orre law teatment is a bit extreme but with the Mayor being what he is...
You got some idea of how the beasts apeared in Orre, I had always thought they couldn't appear from thin air.

I think Makuhita isn't the only one that should go to anger management classes, Nascour has some serious TV destroying problems.

All in all another awesome chapter. Thanks for the entertaining read!!! Please keep it up!!!
 

Glover

Pain in Rocket side
“Maku…. ta

This is off of Chapter 4, and caught my eye. "Makuta", whilst a very fitting thing for a punch-happy evil Pokemon to say, is a different children's toyline altogether. I love coincidences...

Chapter 13: You're slipping man! You've got every sign but Burma Shave surely a bunch of old farts would've put up the Burma Shave signs.
 
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bobandbill

Winning Smile
Staff member
Super Mod
Cheers for the reviews as usual, guys! keep them coming ;p

I highly enjoyed that chapter. Finally! A lot of funny moments, and no mistakes that I saw. Keep these good chapters comin'!
Hurrah ! And they will come!...sometime. Because rl and uni.
New chapter, yeah! I was not expecting that laser fence to be fake, and Miror B. was, as always, awesome! Eusine was an unexpected surprise, but now that I think of it, given his total obsession with Suicune, I'm a little surprised he didn't show up during the original Colosseum at any point. A little.

XD at Bob and Bill... I can't believe I didn't notice that until you pointed it out at the end of the chapter!
I think it might have been a bit odd to have Eusine in the actual game, but when there's Suicune...

It seems a lot of people didn't notice that either initially. ._. Hurrah for mentioning it in the spoilers! (Does this mean this is now a self-insert fic? ;p).
O-ho. I see what you did there.
But you noticed! \o/
...I wonder what they were talking about...
*motions to earlier paragraph* Making sandwiches in dangerous situations, basically. =p As a note, sandwiches were actually a theme in those comedy scripts I wrote of Bob and Bill way back when; a new sandwich or so every episode, akin to the pastries thing here.
Now I don't know how I should interpret that last line. But let's just say the way I did, it made me laugh. Hard.
I think you interpreted it the way it was meant to be interpreted. XD
B&B YOU ARE MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON MARRY ME <3
I ain't paying for no wedding. >:[
Line sent shivers down my spine. Ein is an epic villain.
Oh cool I was wondering how I was going with Ein.
WHY IS THIS CHAPTER SO AWESOME

You a Simon and Garfunkel fan, or just decided to use the phrase? Either way, you're still being awesome.
wynaut?

But good pick, for it was most certainly a purposefully placed phrase...well, reference, for Simon and Garfunkel are one of my favourite artists to listen to. =D
That is honor: to rechallenge a greater battler
Miror B prefers dancing though. :<
Wes is worthy of the Afro
This makes for amazing imagery.
That made me laugh so hard my voice died
Another side effect of my story? Damn, I'll get sued at this rate.

YES! ANOTHER CHAPTER IS OUT! *whimpers with happiness* Once again, awesomeness belongs to you. Here. Have a cookie. No. Have SEVERAL COOKIES(attached)! I loved the chapter as always, and really have no complaints. Honestly, with Jonson, I wouldn't be surprised. The scene with bob and bill was hilarious, and I can't believe I didn't catch that until the end. All in all, this chapter gets five out of five treeckos. ;252;;252;;252;;252;;252;

-TA
Cookies and FIVE TREECKOS!?

I will treasure them. Not the cookies though, eating is what they are for. =p
Yet another amazing chapter.... and here are some of the highlights.

1. Cipher Peons Bob and Bill.
2. "My Suicune senses are tingling!" lol.
3. Dancing Queen. Nice choice there.
4. "No, you can have a treat afterwards." My dog would be the same way...

So, yeah. I didn't notice any grammatical errors, and as always, the chapter was funny and flowed well. You are a true Pokemon Colosseum genius-keep up the fantastic writing!
Lots of dogs like treats. XD I know my dog will get distracted from anything if he knows we have a bone for him or something. And hurrah for being a genius at...something! XD
This chapter is your best chapter without battles yet. You make a siege out of the Shadow Pokemon Lab invasion, you give Miror B another role and give him Cipher camaraderie with Skrub (he who wishes he was not named so). You throw in Eusine, one of the best characters in any Pokemon game, and you also did include the idiotic "nuke the basement to stop them" scene. Nice job, man. Can't wait for the next one.
Neat to know @ first comment! I kinda had to have the explosion scene though because it's so stupid. XD Hurrah for another fan of Eusine too!

(I wonder how many people in Orre though are actually happy with their names...?)
Oh look, a review!
*looks*
Awesome chapter as always, although it seemed more serious to me than usually, especially the part in the police station. Anyway, it was still funny to death.
Yeah, I decided to go with the somewhat more serious aspects there e.g. police station because I had to tie up the Andrew/Wes thing sometime and also plot points on shadow Pokemon tends to be just serious by nature I guess.
Sandwiches are the most vital item for surviving. Especially if you are threatened by a hungry lion that loves sandwiches…
Very true.
Cheese is the most important ingredient. Three hoorays for cheese!
\o/
Recent surveys have shown that the left arm is vital for the existence of Cipher grunts and is the reason for their high IQ…
Wait, Cipher grunts and high IQ? Surely you jest!
I don’t think the newcomer was so great to be greated.
My new excuse for that typo is 'but Eusine IS great!'.
Are you studying French or Spanish?
I'll admit I havee no idea how that happened with c+p backing and forth between places. =/ Sure, I get the space issue because that happens with nearly everyone, but... strange.
I guess ‘soon’ could be skipped and Wes’ voice would be deeper and his muscles would become huge. Let’s not forget the sign that would say ‘Terminator for Hire’.
The last twist is that Wes is a robot.
Keep up the awesome work. You don’t know how relieved I was to hear that I didn’t have to become a granny to see the end to your afrotastic fic. Dying to see the next chapter. Oh, and I liked it that you used the number 'sixteen' so much. It's my favourite.

~Truthfully Yours~
Hopefully I will keep to my rough time-frame to prevent that from happening then! Cheers for the review and all the mistake-pointing out btw. =)
I demand a reduction in their salary!
=(
Excellent use of the Johto legends there.
Hurrah for that - I did kinda enjoy throwing that info of them there.
That reminds me. Which way does toilet water spin again?
Turnwise.
Okay. Whoever's in charge of shopping for Nascour's electronics needs to stop buying them.
It's probably Nascour himself. XD
Admittedly, it is an unusual security system. It relies more on psychology rather than force.
Yes, I suppose so. And they would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that bumbling Johnson.
Miror B always comes prepared. =p
I always wondered about the DNA sample lock.
It was so darn weird. >:[
It is a catchy tune! ^_^

All in all, an excellent chapter as usual. I'm looking forward to the next one.
I'd say it's one of my favourite tunes in the entire set of games (that is, Colo and XD)!
Eusine showing up would imply a nasty little thing called continuity, which we all know can't happen between serieses.
But they didn't care about the plot very much. =p
I quite like his presence too, though as I recall, Eusine showed up in The Legend of Thunder, so he might have more than a passing interest in the other two dogs/beasts/gerbils
True; although I'll confess I haven't read that. But I do think that he would know his stuff on the others too... but in the games he only has eyes for Suicune, so to speak. Ahem.
Not XD, Colosseum. You just said that. Geez, you're getting your games confused already!
(Was the emoticon joke funny the first 3 billion times?)
Durr hurr.
have I mentioned I like Sherles? Though I must ask, if one is chained to the roof, how does one hold cardboard?
Their legs being chained is one option. (Or maybe the police didn't take it into account and they're screwed anyway as a result.) =p
Is it sad I was kinda dissapointed?
Nope. =p
Evil conniving little backstabber. I don;t remember Skrub.

You know, maybe it's high past time I fire up Colloseum again.
You should. =p But Skrub isn't really a...memorable character I suppose - looks pretty similar to the other cipher grunts too to boot.
Chapter 13: You're slipping man! You've got every sign but Burma Shave surely a bunch of old farts would've put up the Burma Shave signs.
*goes to google and wikipedia* Ah, okay. In my defence living in Australia I don't think such signs exist here, although the concept of their boards kinda does with other things somewhere here...? =/ (I never heard of Burma Shave until now in fact!)
New Chapter!!!!! Weeeeee!!!!
Well anywasys that was funny as hell, i just kept laughing at Bob's and Bill's consersation, that was just epic.
Glad you enjoyed. =D As I mentioned Bob and Bill here are pretty similar to how they were in those comedy scripts I wrote ages back and so too was the nature of their conversations there and here.
I think Makuhita isn't the only one that should go to anger management classes, Nascour has some serious TV destroying problems.

All in all another awesome chapter. Thanks for the entertaining read!!! Please keep it up!!!
True - Nascour sure has issues. And I intend to! =D
 

pinkchomby

The Heir of Space
nice work its very cool, ive never played the game cuz theres something wrong with my wii and the gamecube games all say the error message.
 

bobandbill

Winning Smile
Staff member
Super Mod
nice work its very cool, ive never played the game cuz theres something wrong with my wii and the gamecube games all say the error message.
That's nice that you think it's cool... but could you please elaborate to why it is in your opinion? Seeing your post is more about errors with your Wii than the story after all.
 

Glover

Pain in Rocket side
I quite like his presence too, though as I recall, Eusine showed up in The Legend of Thunder, so he might have more than a passing interest in the other two dogs/beasts/gerbils

True; although I'll confess I haven't read that. But I do think that he would know his stuff on the others too... but in the games he only has eyes for Suicune, so to speak. Ahem.

It's an easy read, all you have to do is go to Youtube or somepleace and punch up the Chronicles series, it's the first two (three?) episodes they did.

WHY IS THIS CHAPTER SO AWESOME

You a Simon and Garfunkel fan, or just decided to use the phrase? Either way, you're still being awesome.

wynaut?[/
QUOTE] Buh-dump bum.

Originally Posted by Glover
Chapter 13: You're slipping man! You've got every sign but Burma Shave surely a bunch of old farts would've put up the Burma Shave signs.
*goes to google and wikipedia* Ah, okay. In my defence living in Australia I don't think such signs exist here, although the concept of their boards kinda does with other things somewhere here...? =/ (I never heard of Burma Shave until now in fact!)

Quote:

Pardon me whilst I look like an idiot.

D'OH'T!

Yeah, seeing as how there's a teensy bit of distance between the US and you, yeah, I can see why you wouldn't have remembered the Burma Shave Signs...

D'OH'T!
 
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This is simply amazing, I'm about to read chapter 21, more in depth review will come after I finish reading it. Congrats on your writing and comedic skills. I can firmly say that I have never laughed as hard or as frequently from anything except for this. I know it's far away, but I'd love it if you did a retelling of pokemon XD fanfic. Pokemon XD Was one of my favorite games.
 
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bobandbill

Winning Smile
Staff member
Super Mod
It's an easy read, all you have to do is go to Youtube or somepleace and punch up the Chronicles series, it's the first two (three?) episodes they did.
I shall attend to that when I no longer have uni then! *maks a note of it*
This is simply amazing, I'm about to read chapter 21, more in depth review will come after I finish reading it. Congrats on your writing and comedic skills. I can firmly say that I have never laughed as hard or as frequently from anything except for this. I know it's far away, but I'd love it if you did a retelling of pokemon XD fanfic. Pokemon XD Was one of my favorite games.
Glad you enjoyed, and I look forward to the in-depth review!

As for a Pokemon XD retelling (idk if I would even call it that!), I'm still undecided, although quite likely some time after I finish this on I will get my hands on the game again and play it and see if I have interest/ideas in doing such a thing. I've already had some ideas here and there (which I guess is only to be expected when one tries to think of ideas for Colosseum =p) but not enough for another entire parody, and if I do such a fic I would likely do something else first in terms of writing, although not as long as this one.
 

psyrose3

Well-Known Member
Seriously?

WE'RE DOING THIS MAN. WE'RE MAKING IT HAPPEN.
(It's just a new review...)

“Orreeyly lorely oll... nots versy guds bit wezz still tornsings, sos lots of sandys cactsis groaning-”

This made me choke and laugh, and I've no idea why.

“Agreed. Besides, he’s taking a nap or something, the crazy scientist. A week without sleep would put you in a bad state even with a lot of coffee...”

This seems off. Dunno why.

Venus however got her own private cell, although that didn’t cheer her up at all. She took to screaming for her fans to save her from such a grubby place and put her on a television show before she died of a lack of cherry-flavoured lipstick, until Rui had enough of her shouts disrupting any possible conversations and threatened to let Quagsire sit with her in the cell. This had also worked extraordinarily well.

Shut up and accept your punishment, Venus. IT'S NOT EVEN YODELING HOURS, I mean COMMUNITY SERVICE. Jeez.

Suddenly a man burst into a room, panting heavily. All turned to look at this newcomer – Wes quickly noted his ridiculous get-up which consisted of purple magician-esque clothing complete with cape and bow-tie.

“Where’s my darling Suicune!?” he shouted at them. His eyes darted back and forth as he looked frantically around the room.

...Somehow, I skipped the bolded part and it took a few reads to figure out what happened.

“Well he most certainly likes Suicune...” Wes muttered as they followed the man. They found him grinning at Suicune’s cell, and Suicune giving a look of uncertainty back at him, seemingly recognising the man.

“Oh, they have tainted you! I sense that you are not quite right...” Eusine said sadly after a moment.

And then I realized that made PERFECT SENSE. Eusine, Suicune, hilarity. How I failed to figure it out the first time around is beyond me.

“Well perhaps it was discovered when they were made into Shadow Pokémon,” Sherles said. “I hope they don’t have Ho-oh though as that legendary sounds like another to be linked to the Johto beasts. I’ll ask him more about it later. Anyways, that strange fellow was likely on to something as well with saying people may had been hired for a price to acquire it from such a distant region – because we know one person who would have had the money to purchase such Pokémon.”
LOLSTUFF
“No, the more likely answer is the Mayor himself,” Andrew said as he banged his head against a wall.

And he has all the irons IN. THE. FIRE.

“Man, what was that?” Dakim said as he poked at the smouldering mess.

“That appears to be Nascour’s new television,” someone else answered. “Or was.”

“So I take it he heard more bad news just now?” another queried.

“STUPID VENUS! STUPID POLICE! STUPID...EVERYTHING!” was suddenly shouted from above before another object flew out.

“And there goes his computer too,” muttered a third.

“Man,” Dakim said, shaking his head.

You cannot beat Nascour in a destroying-electronics-off. He is simply the best there is.

“Well it turns out they’re pretty well guarded here,” Sherles remarked gruffly. “It’s not very high but I don’t think any of us can jump over it or anything with ease... maybe we’d need to use our Pokémon to get over but that would be a timely operation in itself- JOHNSON GET THE HECK AWAY FROM THERE!” Sherles barked, but Johnson was too busy inspecting the fence for himself.

“I wonder if it’s hot?” Johnson said as he walked into the fence only to find himself on the other side, remarkably unaffected.

“...Don’t tell me,” Rui said faintly, “that those lasers are fake...”

The lasers are fake. Good one, Johnson; now don't go off and get sucker punched...

“Never mind that now then, just turn it off! You lot have electric types, so get to protecting this room with them then if you have any sense. Light Screens and electricity should do for a while to hold them off. Meanwhile I’ll get to trying to erase this data before I’ll give the signal for retreat – we can at worst make our own path to the train,” he added as he retreated to his room. As the researchers began to organise themselves however, he mused.

And by ‘we’, I mean me, but I don’t think the fools need to know that.

All aboard the karma express.

“There, much more groovy!” he exclaimed as he then turned to the controls and pressed some buttons, sending the train on its way. “Now, my Ludicolo,” he said as he released his remaining Pokémon, “what say we turn this trip into a party train?”

The Ludicolo quacked happily in response.

***

“Why are Cipher having a party here?”

This is pretty confusing. Why does Miror B. have to mess up everything?

“Surrender, Team Snagem!” the leader shouted triumphantly as they ran. “This is the police, and you are completely surroun-AAAAAA!” he suddenly screamed as the ground beneath him and the rest of his team gave way and they fell into a deep pit. Muttering darkly to himself as the others moaned in pain and picked themselves out of the muddy bottom, the leader looked up to find only a sole Growlithe had avoided the trap as it peered back at him.

Team Snagem is RELENTLESSLY LIGHT-HEARTED.

“WHO CARES JUST INPUT SOMETHING IN IT IT’S THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF!” he screamed as he threw a bunch of tubes at the former. Skrub sighed as he caught some and began entering in data as Dancing Queen continued to play.

I warned you about panicking man. I told you dog.

Haha, that’ll do nicely – that door’s hard to break. I can’t have my rematch yet against him, but at least I’ll get out of here alive with some more luck – I can always walk via the tracks. And furthermore, Wes can have some fun with the likes of Ein – if his battling prowess is anything to go by, he’ll give him a run for his money, no doubt. And Ein will have a hard time escaping himself!

Skrub is a moron.

- Shadow Lab - protected by a fence made of light or lasers. Somehow. =/ Otherwise it's a boring building in the middle of the desert (but it looks decent on the inside), with a very unfitting but darn catchy theme. Seriously - this is the place where they make shadow Pokemon - you know, seal the doors to the hearts, make them evil, etc - yet the tune is so...upbeat! Surely only Miror B could be responsible for this.

Yes. Everything is Miror B.'s fault. EVERYTHING.
 

X-ice654

Angry Dawn is Angry
Oh look a chapter.
A wild Chapter suddenly appeared.

“Where’s my darling Suicune!?” he shouted at them. His eyes darted back and forth as he looked frantically around the room.
It's a Eusine. Wonderful addition simply wonderful.

“And... what cause is that?” Rui asked in confusion.

“Quiet! My Suicune senses are tingling!” Eusine shouted as he charged off into the prison cells. An elated shout followed a moment later.
Look out here comes the Suicune Man! XD

“Makuhita!” (Why must strange music keep playing during battles?) Makuhita complained.

“Umbre...” (Now I want to dance...) Umbreon moaned. Meanwhile the opposing side had noticed the Quagsire begin striking at the barrier with his flippers, making it shake visibly. Panicked at the Pokémon’s apparent disregard for the danger and continually distracted by the music, they ordered their Pokémon to focus their electric attacks upon it only to quickly realise it was immune due to its typing.
Oh, Umbreon only you would say something like that, and Rui's Quagsire is epic.

- Shadow Lab - protected by a fence made of light or lasers. Somehow. =/ Otherwise it's a boring building in the middle of the desert (but it looks decent on the inside), with a very unfitting but darn catchy theme. Seriously - this is the place where they make shadow Pokemon - you know, seal the doors to the hearts, make them evil, etc - yet the tune is so...upbeat! Surely only Miror B could be responsible for this.
Yes, that makes perfect sense. It's all Miror B! It's all HIM!!

Good work again bobandbill. Looking forward to the next installment.
 

Rotomknight

THE GREATEST TRAINER
Please but me on the pm list for new chapter

Rotmknight
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Tambourines can die!

I'll confess I do not know who Nathan Explosion is... and now I feel I am missing out. =p

This is Nathan Explosion.

Is it as many times as I rebattled him?

Depends; have you battled him a krillions billions times? If so, then you're about halfway there.

Anyway... You know what this chapter has made me realize that there needs to be? A game in which Miror B. goes around trying to slap afro wigs on everyone and everything that he can, that's what.

Of course, in truth, you wouldn't actually be playing as Miror B. in this game. You would actually be assuming the role of the gigantic hairasite attached to his head; Miror B. is merely the convenient instrument that it and you use to carry out the mission of making as many living things as possible have heads that can be seen from space.

On a different subject, yay for guest appearances by Eusine. :)

Tommsy no this likes, he concluded, before getting back to his feet bursting into a fresh chorus of what he believed to be Orre’s anthem.

“Orreeyly lorely oll... nots versy guds bit wezz still tornsings, sos lots of sandys cactsis groaning-”

That is (or would be, assuming that it is not, in fact, Orre's actual anthem) very nearly the best anthem ever, second only to that of Anvilania.

The Suicune was also currently in a separate room until the police could purify it and figure out what to do with it afterwards. It hadn’t been very accommodating and had taken to blasting water at the faces of those who dared to step too close to it

I could not help but picture that as Suicune making the suicuney equivalent of a |:< face and spitting a little bitty jet of water (that nonetheless knocks the target back several feet) at everyone who approaches. There's a highly amusing little sound effect that accompanies the water-spitting, but sadly (?) I don't quite know how to spell it out.

Andrew looked at him before glancing at the card – it was covered in sparkles and a poorly drawn image of Eusine and Suicune with the phrase ‘best friends’ written messily below it.

QUICK, SOMEBODY DRAW THIS.

“Quiet! My Suicune senses are tingling!” Eusine shouted as he charged off into the prison cells.

Suicune senses, huh. I wonder if this means that Suicune bit him at some point in the past.

Eusine then retrieved the water – somehow it had become a more unpleasant green colour with an unpleasant smell to it.

“Ah, that proves it then! You see, Suicune will travel far and wide in search of water to purify – but now Suicune has done the exact opposite to this water and made it dirtier!”

*glances toward nearby river*

So I suppose there's possibly a shadow suicune here in town, then.

“Aww, young love,” Andrew drawled before he huffed and made to leave himself.

...Okay, you know what? Sometimes I misread things the first time around. Well, guess what I initially misread that as. Go on, guess.

“I...suppose they are,” Sherles said as he passed his wallet through the fence as well to confirm that Johnson hadn’t simply defied physics with his stupidity.

You know, I'd wondered if stupidity could do that. I guess I shouldn't be surprised if indeed it can. Stupidity can make all sorts of things happen.

...That or something at all along those lines might make a great motto for something or another. It could go something like "Stupidity Conquers All", perhaps, only maybe in Latin. Yeah, have it be in Latin.

“Not just now, Ludicolo,” Miror B said with a grin. “Firstly we need to make a path! You can make a constant Water Gun attack on the opposite side of that gap there,” he instructed to one as he pointed at the point in question, “and you perform Icy Wind afterwards in the same direction.”

The two Pokémon quacked and obliged – as the first sprayed water from its mouth the other clapped its hands and spun around twice before exhaling a cold gust at the water jet, causing the water to promptly freeze. Within half a minute a makeshift bridge of ice had been made.

“Excellent; our very own bridge over troubled water!” Miror B sung as he slid across the new pathway.

Thank goodness he didn't fall on his kiester while doing that. But then again, he might be too graceful for such to have ever been a concern for him anyway.

“Okay, one passenger... what an unkempt hairstyle though!” Miror B frowned before checking his bag. “Ah yes, good thing I still have Folly and Trudly’s!” he exclaimed as he pulled out a fake afro in the same style as his and placed it on the man’s head.

“There, much more groovy!” he exclaimed as he then turned to the controls and pressed some buttons, sending the train on its way.

See how the hairasite directs its host to spread its fluffy species throughout the world.

“Makuhita!” (Why must strange music keep playing during battles?) Makuhita complained.

Because you're in a Pokémon RPG title for the GameCube, you silly thing you. And it is awesome.

“Hita hita!” (You’re fun to punch!)

I like this line. XD
 
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