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The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum

Discussion in 'Completed Fics' started by bobandbill, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. Crocojaw47

    Crocojaw47 Travelling Pilgrim

    Oh, hey, could I be on the PM list? :-D
  2. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Off as in the wording or just that Ein was awake for so long?
    That was basically my thought process. =D
    If only there was a competition for such a thing...
    As established earlier he's bringing down Cipher from the inside in his own way (hence him leaking info about cipher's strike on mt battle and now this).
    Yeah, he kinda is. XD Cheers for the review!
    He already has his theme music and various potential catch-phrases! Like 'Are you Suicune?' and 'There goes Suicune!'
    Quagsire as a Pokemon has grown on me a lot since writing this fic. XD
    Well, him and Skrub. And Wes and Rui and the police. XD Thanks, and hope you'll enjoy the next chapter!
    Yes, you both can and are added, but note posts like that are against the rules here - gotta say somthing about the fic beyodn 'I liked it' or 'Pm list please', etc. Speaking of which - any comments on it?
    I see...
    How much is a krillion again?
    I feel a DDR Miror B version would be better somehow...
    If only I could draw. =( Oh wait, that doesn't require drawing skills...
    ...Hmm. Who knows - maybe as a means of self defense?
    ...made out with himself...? o_O
    Yeah, I don't think it's much of a worry for him. After all, this is a man who can do backflips despite that afro of his. XD
    Thanks again for the usual awesome review!

    Also boc/Mia did an art thingy of the Grave Destroyer of Souls! I felt it worthy of the link here. =p
  3. boc

    boc crappy image spam

    And so I did! It's here if you want to look, guys. :p

    My long-overdue review of that chapter (because I didn't tell you in irc, iirc xD):

    I loved this. I especially liked that he didn't break out into Orre's anthem, just what he thought Orre's anthem was. xD
    Tom is amazing, really.

    By "surprisingly decent wage", do you mean that they actually get the minimum wage (because I'm thinking most people in Orre wouldn't), or are they getting more than that? :O

    Venus... makes her presence known. xD;

    I'm thinking that the "Orre law treatment" wouldn't be for them to have their arm cut off - more like having to search the sewer for valuables with it, or something else that would make them wish it'd been cut off. xD

    Oh how I love your characterisations of particular Pokemon. xD

    Poor Johnson xD
    I bet Makuhita just gets this red haze with an image of Johnson in it whenever it gets angry, then just chases him down to use as a punching bag. I'd also be willing to bet that Wes, Rui and Sherles have nothing against this. :p

    DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN! *cue Evice battle music* :p

    Espeon knows exactly where you're going with this. xP

    Does Eusine drive a van that looks like this, by any chance? :p

    There needs to be a space between of and them! :3

    Yup, I agree; he was definitely bitten by a radioactive Suicune. :p

    I don't know whether to be concerned about whether the town water supply is tainted or amused at Johnson's incompetence in mixing up the terms "clean" and "dirty". xD

    Bet Nascour's computer's a Dell! :p

    Oh, Johnson. Gotta love a man who can walk through laser-fences!

    Lol, nope! There goes your cool guy image, Johnson!

    It's an emo rave party, to boot!

    Silly, silly Cipher agents! This is workplace violence! The police are right outside, you don't even have to call them! Assert your rights as employees!

    Well /obviously/ he has good taste in music, as opposed to the emo-rave-scientisticians!

    I agree with whoever it was who suggested that there needs to be a hairisite game for the afros. This may or may not happen at the next NZ portion of Global Game Jam :p

    Heck, I almost quacked happily in response! xD


    Johnson gets all the best lines xD

    Makuhita obviously wants to listen to Crush 40!

    Possible image of Makuhita smashing a tambourine maybe!

    Awww, teamwork! How heartwarming! <3
    (that was ironic)
    (all of the irony)

    Aaaaand I'll end the review there because I really should be getting to bed. :/
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2011
  4. GroundBlaze

    GroundBlaze Starter Keeper

    Last edited: Sep 16, 2011
  5. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    As I said before, it is amazing. XD
    Amazing he is, but an amazing singer he is not.
    Depends by what you mean with minimum wage exactly. ;p But actually... more than that is how I thought it as or well... 'a good wage' as far as they go with criminal teams and Orre. =p
    What about searching sewers for items with their cut-off arm?
    No, he only had the red haze when he was a shadow Pokemon. ;p
    ...yes, yes he does.
    I swear that issue is created with track changes in editing/beta reading or just these silly forums. >_<
    Who doesn't?
    Poor musical instruments...
    You can always hiughlight stuff and press the quote button, and just be careful not to write in the
  6. GroundBlaze

    GroundBlaze Starter Keeper


    Of course

    great story and I love how you made Ein all the more sinister

    also I find Nassacor's abuse of electronics very:521: (pokepun :p)

    plus I would like to know weather any other music in Orre is caused by that devious Mirror B.

    Speaking of which..... Mirror B. and Tom are on the same train
    Tom+Mirror B.= need to go to go bye a lot of water to keep my voice after laughing
  7. ~Lati~

    ~Lati~ Or not :/

    This one's part of my backlog on FanFiction.net right now. Probably next up too, after I finish Latias' Journey. I've only read the first couple of chapters, but I'm definitely looking forward to reading the rest. I'll probably review it on there, though. Be warned, I usually write long reviews. My name on there is leon4293.
  8. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Yes, that's useful stuff to know. =) Cheers for saying what you liked!

    And not much else really in Colosseum, and although XD also suffers from the 'it's a good tune but it doesn't fit* issue (cough 'wild' Pokemon battle music cough) I don't see Miror B being responsible for that.

    Cool - I look forward to it then! And the longer the review the better. =p Hope you enjoy the rest!
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2011
  9. Phoopes

    Phoopes There it is.

    You sir, have just made my day. Whenever I heard that weird music, I thought, "Git' along, ll' Woopers, 'fore I pull out my Geodude an' Earthquake your ***." (Or something to that extent)

    Anyway... you've probably been asked the following question before, but I'm too lazy to check. Are you going to do any post-game stuff with this fic? I realize that the whole "Deep Colosseum" thing doesn't have much of a storyline, but if anyone can fit it in, it's you.
  10. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Why yes, I have been asked that. XD (But I don't think it was here, but in VMs?) Anyways... not really (although I will say I will have *something* happen after the conclusion of the main storyline of Colosseum is covered in this fic), for a number of reasons. Such as 'I really dislike the parts afterwards and feel they are terribly tacked on' and also 'some stuff won't work already given how stuff has occurred already/will occur if kept the same as the games'.

    However at least some of the post-game things will get at least a mention because they do deserve that at least. Just don't expect me to go and follow what the game does beyond the credits, because that won't happen. =p (Heck, even after the last 'event' in post-game stuff it felt rather anti-climatic and all.)

    For the sake of it, I'll also say the next chapter will not be for a while either (late november maybe? could be before but do not bank on it) although I may well get more content than that done before said next chapter posting for a few reasons (basically if the next chapter is posted end of november the following chapter *may* not be far behind) and will move far faster likely with writing then regardless (yay uni!). Still aiming for the whole 'finishing before my third year of uni starts' thing too but we shall see! If anything I'm somewhat ahead of 'schedule' there.
  11. DJPON-3

    DJPON-3 Equestria Girls~

    This fanfiction is awsome! Keep it up!
  12. asdfghjkl;

    Chapter 20:

    I feel this could've been fleshed out more. I myself am not a fan of romantic scenes, but what really makes them strike the reader is the tension. Since this was pretty rushed, I didn't really feel too much of that tension in it. It's a nice surprise, but how it was said so nonchalantly is odd. I know you should avoid making it a big deal and go all "her eyes - oh, those eyes! - glimmered as she stared him down" on it, but there's no harm in fleshing it out a bit.

    I like the use of Attract in the chapter! Gives two interesting takes on love - the innocent, long-overdue one between Wes and Rui and the short-term, deceptive one in the form of Delcatty.

    Amusing character in Venus. You got the vanity out right, and an awkwardly funny Pokemon in Steelix. Much respect for her since she has Suicune, though. Good chapter! :D

    Chapter 21:


    Unfortunately, I don't have too many quotes outside of that, since I was focusing more on how the story went. XD I was kind-of confused with the scene with Gonzap, seeing as it came out of nowhere and the transitioning was kind-of abrupt. I liked the scenes with Ein [SUCH A COOL NAME!] and Skrub, though. It's nice to see more personality in the other characters.

    And it looks like the story's getting very near to its climax! Can't wait to see all the battling and drama and romance and laughs and whatnot.

    Another awesome chapter, though I enjoyed the previous one more. Keep up the awesomely awesome work, bnb! =D
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2011
  13. GroundBlaze

    GroundBlaze Starter Keeper

    I was watching some old movies and I made a disovery

    the shadowfication method used on skarmory is remarkably similar to the way they Break Alex's mind in A Clockwork Orange

    coincidence I think NOT!!!!!!

    but if it is check it out its a good movie
  14. Rotomknight


    BNB good job! You should put this in gamefreak's attention...
    Hopefully before bureaucracy takes over the world.
    Coluseum deserves a remake with you as the plot fixer. With all those flaws in it you could get it a 10.0 at nintendo power. Will you explain who the main prrotagonist of XD's father is? Will you have characters dye their hair(wink,wink).

    Will you do a XD one as well? I wonder if they will bring back the concept of shadow pokemon.
  15. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Yay more reviews! Thanks all.

    I'll just say as I got some questions about this again, the next chapter can still be expected late november (but now that is closer to being a certainty than a tentative claim at the rate I am going). Given that I made up some extra scenes though I may be splitting it up and so hence have a ~buffer~ when the next chapter is posted. In other words, the following chapter may not be so long afterwards!

    Also; as someone brought to my attention via VM when it happened; over 100,000 views of the fic here! ._. Most certainly an unexpected milestone... so thanks all for clicking this thread various times, readers!

    I intend to! But do you have any specific comments about why you thought it awesome...?
    I agree. ;p
    Hmm... a fair point that I haven't considered yet (given, well, that's the first someone said something about that =p). I still feel that the kiss itself should be in that way though, as in quickly given by Rui - just how I imagined the scene, although I suppose I can add some more about said kiss after it... I'll certainly consider it but I don't feel right in making the whole scene drawn out with it, is all. (So other people - more opinions on this would be nice to have!)
    She was a fun character to write, certainly. =)
    Hmm, I shall look into that then when I do more edits (after older chapters anyways). Initially I had that scene at the end of the chapter but then moved it around after discussion with my beta reader. Might still keep it that way due to that but I can see how switching back and forth between the two settings might be too abrupt and odd.
    Yes, drawing closer to the end surely but surely... and there's certainly more battles yet to come. =p Cheers for the review!
    Coincidence as I started the fic well before watching the movie, and the basis of music being a way to make a Pokemon into a Shadow one was one of the very first ideas I had before starting as well. XD (A combination of talking about Colosseum in a boring engineering class while listening to The Beatles was responsible for this). But it's a neat pick up (and certainly a good film) - somewhat of a parallel I suppose too in that A Clockwork Orange uses images of bad things to make him 'good', while it's happy stuff in excess that makes Pokemon bad here.
    Ah, but Genius Sonority made Colossem and XD, not Game Freak. =p (And I never read Nintendo power much less know what they gave Colosseum as a score, haha).

    I won't touch on XD-only things in this fic such as Michael's father so much (only a few have such as the whole Team Snagem/Cipher relationship thing, really) as they don't have much to do with the story of Colosseum. And for the XD fic... still not decided. As said earlier, after I finish this I'll probably get hold of XD again and play it and see if I have enough ideas/inspiration/whatnot to do a fic on it, and not before trying some other things too.
  16. Quagsireking

    Quagsireking I am the king!

    you wrote this? ive read this before and im like wow. ANy how i love the character's personalities and the fact that mirror b is more sinister here
  17. OthersiderME

    OthersiderME Captain Obvious

    Even the chapter list makes me laugh. Now that I actually review this fic, I can't think of anything to say. Though I can't wait for Makuhita to evolve... Then Andrew will feel lots of pain. Anyways, will you please put me on the PM list?
  18. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Chapter Up!

    Yes; this was the first place I posted it in fact. Glad you enjoyed, although quoting the whole prologue is a bit much of a post. =p
    Thanks. Makuhita also cannot wait for that time, I'll add. =p And added to the list.

    And oh look a chapter, how about that.

    Beta read by Chris the Com.

    Chapter 22 – The Scientist’s Stand

    Wes frowned at the door and the person behind the cold glass window upon it, who was running off into a passageway while shouting in glee.

    “All right, Makuhita, let’s worry about that later,” he said to the Fighting type who was slamming the steel door with his fists. The Pokémon shook his arms and glared at his inanimate opponent, noting the fact that his efforts only managed to make small dents. “Maybe Feraligatr can help you if there’s no other way out from here.”

    “Makuhita!” (But I’m stronger!) Makuhita protested loudly as he gave the door one last strike and followed Wes. The trainer wandered around the room aimlessly as he pulled out his P*DA.

    “Yes, hello, Sherles. It seems some Cipher grunt thought it would be fun to lock a door behind me,” Wes said to the machine. Makuhita looked at Wes and wondered how he was able to talk to someone else through such a thing without even having to punch it to make it work.

    “Yes, I know, I didn’t exactly want to get trapped myself,” Wes continued to speak in a strained voice. “I’ll just check this place first and see if there isn’t another way out – if not then I’ll just break it down or call for assistance. Oh, hey, I found some stairs,” Wes added, half to himself as he proceeded to walk down. Makuhita bounded after him, jumping down one step at a time carefully like a small child trying to navigate her way around a playground.

    “Maku...hita...” (Stupid steps... being bigger than me...) Makuhita muttered.

    “Oh, found someone,” Wes announced as he reached the bottom of the steps. “Hey, no, don’t throw that at me! Makuhita, little help?” he added as the sound of glass slamming into the stairway followed. Makuhita looked up eagerly at the source to notice Wes dodging test tubes and vases coming from another man clad in white, who was running between rows of lab benches arranged neatly in the large room towards an elevator. Makuhita quickly surveyed the man before giving a startled shout.

    “Ma! Ku!” (You! Stop!) Makuhita shouted as he jumped forward and promptly fell down the remaining steps. Growling at his increasingly annoying small stature, he turned around and punched the stairwell before advancing towards the escaping figure who was hurriedly pressing a button next to the elevator. A few seconds later the doors flew open.

    “Hey, come back here!” Wes shouted at the vase-wielding man, noting to himself that he appeared to be another scientist with a strange spike of hair protruding from the front of his face.

    “Oh, hello Wes! I didn’t expect to see you here!” Johnson called as he stepped out of the elevator. Wes blinked at the officer’s sudden presence, and the scientist also seemed surprised to have his escape route suddenly blocked off and slowly backed away.
    “Oh, hello! Nice to meet you!” Johnson beamed as he walked towards the man and offered a handshake.

    A short pause followed before his smile faded as the researcher struck him on the head with another urn, pushed him to the side and ran towards the elevator again. Makuhita however was ready by now and clapped his fists together before thrusting them forward in a swift movement, sending out a silver packet of air at the elevator system. The attack smacked into the elevator’s door controls just as the man reached them, which exploded in a shower of sparks and sent the elevator back up.

    “That’s... pretty good work,” Wes said warmly to Makuhita, only to notice the scientist was now throwing four Poké Balls at him and Johnson instead of vases. Cursing silently to himself, he summoned some more of his own in his two Eeveelutions, Feraligatr and Yanma. As the other Pokémon appeared, Makuhita charged forwards haphazardly as he waved his fists around and shoved aside one of the lab benches to the side.

    “MAKU!” (I WILL DESTROY YOU!) Makuhita yelled loudly as he charged forward at the man, only to be held back by Wes who hung on desperately to his arm.

    “Why are you so angry?” Wes exclaimed. “Angrier than normal, anyway...” he added. He then looked at his other Pokémon and noticed that Feraligatr was also snarling at their opponent. Only Espeon and Umbreon were not seemingly outraged at the mere presence of the scientist before him, while Yanma merely continued to ramble to itself about the wonders of coffee and its own ability to fly faster than coffee.

    “What’s going on there?” Sherles asked through the P*DA suddenly.

    “Too quick for me, I see,” the man said to Wes softly as his Pokémon materialised in the form of two water and two flying types.

    “Not now, I’ve got a battle going on! I’ll call back later!” Wes shouted at his P*DA before cancelling the call and turning the P*DA at the Pokémon in front of him. It confirmed one of them was a Golbat which he was already familiar with – it was hard not to recognise such a Pokémon whose mouth was nearly as big as its own body. “Johnson, get over here!” he added to the officer who ran over.

    “He’s not very nice, is he?” Johnson asked as he rubbed his head. “Hit my head, he did!”

    “Now’s not the time for complaining!” Wes shouted.

    “It hurts like ouchie,” Johnson continued sadly.

    “Golbat!” (I vant to suck vour blood!) the Golbat shouted at the group as his tongue hung out of his mouth and left a small puddle of drool on the ground.

    Yep, definitely a Golbat, Wes thought as he looked at the other three Pokémon which he hadn’t seen before. The P*DA quickly informed him they were made up of a Huntail, Lanturn and Altaria, the former two remaining stationary on the floor given their unusual position of being out of water. They didn’t seem too fazed by that though, as upon their heads were strange pieces of equipment that resembled scuba diving gear. Glancing at the scientist, Wes decided it must have been made by him to allow his Pokémon to be able to breathe better outside of water.

    “Go, Magikarp!” Johnson shouted as he sent out his Pokémon, which proceeded to flop about haphazardly.
    “How nice to see some familiar faces, though,” the man continued to say to the fuming Makuhita as he began to stroke his chin, ignoring the policeman’s addition. Wes looked at the man and frowned.

    “What does that mean?” he challenged, as he also noticed that the man seemed rather tired despite his tone of voice – he actually wasn’t stroking his chin but more where a beard would have been had he had one.

    “Lanturn, Charge Beam. Huntail, Hydro Pump. Altaria and Golbat, Air Cutter,” the man replied monotonically.

    “Oh, for... just avoid the attacks if you can!” Wes shouted as the flying types took to the air and the Lanturn shot sparks from the orb-like protrusions from its dorsal fins, while the Huntail shot water from its breathing apparatus. Caught off-guard, Wes’ Pokémon attempted to move out of the way, but the combination of the four attacks were too difficult for everyone to dodge successfully, save for the Magikarp which escaped unscathed from sheer luck. More benches also fell victim to the attacks and crumbled, clearing some space on the battle field.

    “Yanma!” (This-is-not-coffee-this-is-pain-I-don’t-like-pain-it-is-painful!)

    “I thought you’d be better than that, Wes,” the man replied. Wes frowned – this man knew his name. “Again!” he added, as his Pokémon obeyed his orders. Wes’ Pokémon quickly attempted to dodge again and were somewhat more successful this time in getting out of the way, but it was clear which side was having the current advantage.

    “Who are you?” Wes asked as he glanced at Espeon. Please get Feraligatr and Makuhita to explain to me why they’re so riled up at this fellow, he asked with his thoughts.

    “Esp,” (On it,) Espeon said as he began telepathically talking to the two.

    “I don’t think you need to know who I am,” the scientist replied. “Just that I’ll be the one to derive your weaknesses and end your lucky streak. Same again,” he added to his Pokémon.

    “Okay guys, let’s go on the defensive – Espeon, two Light Screens, and Umbreon, help him set them up! The rest, strike any who try to get in close!”Wes said. The two quickly nodded and focused their minds to create a double barrier in front of them, one situated before the other. The first onslaught of attacks struck the first wall which shimmered slightly but held its ground as the rest of Wes’ Pokémon rested behind, and Magikarp continued to flop around.

    “Keep it up!” Johnson yelled excitedly, ejecting a sigh from Wes.

    “Just keep attacking from afar until the barriers fall,” the man commanded calmly.

    His name is Ein, Espeon said to Wes privately a moment later telepathically, albeit slowly given his current focus on the barriers in front of his teammates, wave after wave of attacks sent by Ein’s Pokémon with reckless abandon slamming into each barricade of light. As for your question – Ein here seems to have been the brains behind the actual shadowfication process. Makuhita and Feraligatr remember him all too well from their previous time here.

    Well, I can’t blame them then,Wes thought back, wincing slightly as one of the Light Screens fell. And I take it we cannot let Ein get away either then, but it’ll be hard... I may need you to sit back, Espeon, actually – it’ll be faster to relay my commands through you to the others and less obvious than announcing them. I think our old trick may be worth a shot.

    Sure, Espeon replied. I’ll set up a quick mental link between you and the others. Say something to them if you want just to lock it in. Almost immediately Wes felt the presence of Feraligatr’s and Makuhita’s minds. He knew what it was like – he had done so similarly with Espeon and Umbreon ages back to have fun against opponents who were baffled by the illusion that Wes’ Pokémon didn’t require any commands to battle so well, but he still breathed deeply and attempted to focus on catching the mental link.

    Who goes there? Makuhita thought suddenly as he became aware of Wes’s psyche, raising a hand to his head as he pondered if he should punch himself or not to make it go away.

    Don’t be stupid, it’s just a quick relay method between you and Wes, Espeon berated. He thinks, you do.

    Yes, so... don’t punch yourself, Wes thought. And although I can tell you’re both angry at this man, I want you to keep your cool. It won’t help us, and he may be relying on that fact if he still thinks you are Shadow Pokémon.

    Okay, Feraligatr thought back, before Wes was then made aware of Umbreon’s mind. They both acknowledged each other with the mental equivalent of a nod, as Umbreon instantly understood the purpose of the link.

    Yanma’s mind however threw Wes off.

    Hello-do-you-like-coffee-I-like-coffee! he shouted loudly.

    Uh... yes, I do. Anyways, this is to-


    Wes sighed. Yes... anyways, when I think at you to do something, please do so. And that man over there-


    He...what? Wes thought to himself before again addressing Yanma. Well he stole the coffee now so we need to stop him. And... I’ll give you some after we beat him.

    Yanma gasped back with delight as Wes then regathered his thoughts, wondering if he would regret the bribe or not.

    Hello there, good sir, another presence suddenly said to Wes.

    Ah... hello, Wes thought back, wondering who he was talking to only to notice the Magikarp was jumping about even more enthusiastically than before.

    I presume you are to help give myself directions rather than Johnson for the time being, perchance? the fish asked.

    Yes, that’s correct... Wes thought back.

    Splendid! I’ll be sure to do my best for Johnson then – he’s the smartest person I’ve known but I’m sure it will be a pleasure to work with you as well!

    ...The smartest? Poor Magikarp, Wes thought to himself.

    Let’s take this guy down! Espeon shouted at the others.


    “Hmm, Wes found someone who’s putting up a fight and Johnson stumbled his way there too,” Sherles explained to Rui as he closed his P*DA. “I suppose he’ll be a while then.”

    “I hope he’s all right,” Rui said quietly.

    “Don’t you worry, Wes will be fine,” Sherles said reassuringly. “But it sounds like that person is eager to get away, and more so than this bunch,” Sherles added as he gestured to the group of Cipher grunts and scientists covered in scorch burns sitting in the corner that had given themselves up. They didn’t look too amused by the whole situation, nor by the fact that a lot had their hair burnt off from the fire attacks of the Growlithe. Chuckling to himself, Sherles turned to a few other policemen.

    “Yes, sir!” they responded, anticipating his orders.

    “You two! I want you to go investigate the business of that locked door, just in case. And for you, head back outside, and patrol the premises. People may yet break out, and it’s hard to gauge what exits this place has. Make sure that if anyone makes a break for it, they don’t get away.”

    “Can we take some snacks with us?” one asked eagerly.

    “Do you think that this is a... oh very well, get something,” Sherles conceded with a sigh as the policemen started looking sad in anticipation of a negative response. Surprised at the approval they quietly high-fived and ran for the supply bag the group had brought along, grabbed as many palmeras as they could hold and dashed off.

    “They sure are quick...” Rui said quietly as Sherles shook his head.

    “Back in my day...”


    A moment later, the second Light Screen shattered. Ein smirked – it was clear to him that Wes had not yet thought up any commands, as none came from the trainer, although plenty of words came from the officer who didn’t appear to have much of a clue what to do. Yet a moment later he balked in surprised as the teenager’s Pokémon flew forward without any command at his, with the Makuhita and Feraligatr leading the charge.

    “Interesting...” Ein mused. “No matter - meet the Makuhita with Wing Attack and Aerial Ace, Golbat and Altaria, and you other two keep them at bay with ranged water attacks!” Ein commanded.

    “Huntail!” (Water!)

    “Lanturn!” (Water!) the two fish Pokémon said in unison as they fired spherical blobs of water at their opponents.

    “Goolll!” (Bloood!) the bat shouted alongside the Altaria as he flew behind the projectiles at the fighting type. The opponents however dodged the water attacks without colliding into each other, working like a well-oiled machine. They then moved to intercept the aerial threat, Feraligatr slashing at the Golbat from the side and Umbreon leaping onto the Altaria’s back as Yanma fired colourful beams at the dragon’s head. Makuhita then jumped up and struck with wild abandon at the Altaria, followed by the Magikarp bouncing high into the air and rebounding from the ceiling into the Altaria’s head.

    “Retreat, but keep firing long-ranged attacks to keep them away from you,” Ein said as he added a few curses to himself. Suddenly it didn’t seem that he’d be able to escape that easily – not that the broken elevator controls helped much in the first place. Maybe I should have taken the time to make my other Pokémon into Shadow ones...and still that boy isn’t saying a thing, he thought. And his Shadow Pokémon in Makuhita and Yanma are not acting rashly – why is that? He gazed as his Pokémon’s opponents continued to surge towards him, and then smiled.

    “Featherdance, Altaria! Golbat, help her out!” Ein ordered.

    “Altaria!” (Feathers!) the bird shouted, suddenly shedding a large amount of the feathers making up its fluffy wings and flapping them towards her opponents.

    “Golbat!” (Blood!) the bat echoed as he also flapped his wings, creating a mini-tornado of feathers that rapidly grew in size.

    “And you two, increase the humidity of the air by sixty percent, minimum!” Noticing the blank looks given to him by the Lanturn and Huntail, he scowled. “Dampen the air!” he said. The two Pokémon happily chanted ‘more water!’ in unison before lightly spraying the tornado of feathers which then spread through the lab. The down quickly clung to the opposing Pokémon’s skin, tickling the group and distracting them for a moment on top of making them look rather ridiculous; Umbreon for instance suddenly found himself with a white beard and moustache of fluff.

    “Yanma yan yan!”(I’m-covered-in-this-fluffy-non-coffee-substance-it’s-very-itchy-and-not-coffee-which-is-displeasing!) the bug shrilled as it flew around in circles into more feathers, as Makuhita tried to punch them out of his way.

    And that’s all I need. Ein chuckled softly as Wes involuntarily sneezed from the fluff filling the air. “Now, focus all your attacks on the Espeon!”

    Wes tensed at the command before mentally yelling at his Pokémon to get back and defend the Psychic Eeveelution; however their movements were now somewhat stifled due to the feathers, as was their visibility. As they got into the way of the first wave of attacks, Ein’s grin widened.

    “Now, activate the Divergence and Convolution Theorem manoeuvre! Switch targets and all focus your Confusion-based attacks on the trainer!” Ein shouted.

    Wait, the trainer- Wes begun to think, before a blast of light and sound hit him. Staggering about as he clutched his head he gasped at the sheer onslaught to his senses – he suddenly could only see a kaleidoscope of colours, his eardrums burnt hotly with pain, and he became dimly aware that he couldn’t focus on the battle anymore.

    “Ferali Feraligatr? (Why are you suddenly telling me to ‘Jam jam Singapore the ropes are singing ever since the watermelon...?) Feraligatr queried to Wes as a stream of garbled thoughts were transmitted to Wes’ Pokémon. The alligator then shouted as a blast of attacks struck him from behind as Ein took advantage of the situation.

    “Tricks like that won’t work with me,” Ein said, “although it certainly was quite the novel idea. I may need to consider using that myself in future! Keep them at bay,” he said to his Flying Pokémon, “while you two blast a hole in the wall out of here,” he added to his water types which gleefully begun shouting ‘water!’ again at each other. They fired water projectiles at the wall on Ein’s end of the room, blasting the gray brick wall into chunks that clattered against the floor.

    Espeon sighed and removed the mental link between Wes and his Pokémon. So much for that plan,he thought to everyone before trying to communicate with Wes to snap him out of his state of mind. He quickly declared the attempt futile at best to himself as he was greeted with a wave of thoughts along the lines of ‘musician colours every greens’ repeated over and over, before being distracted by a stray water attack which he avoided just in time with an inelegant bound behind a desk.

    Okay, let’s try to rearrange ourselves! he thought desperately to the other Pokémon. Makuhita, go fix him!

    “Maku!” (Can do!) Makuhita shouted as he ran past a Wing Attack of Golbat’s and jumped into the air, slapping Wes hard in the face as he landed.

    “Arrgh!” Wes shouted in response before falling over onto his hands and knees.

    “Don’t worry, Johnson will do... something!” Johnson said bravely to Wes, before ducking as the Golbat flew too close to his head and waving his badge at the Pokémon. “Stop speeding, or I’ll arrest you!” he shouted.

    “Gol!” (Blood!) the bat retorted.

    No offense, Johnson, but... Espeon began, before he paused for a moment. He looked at Wes and quickly decided that it would be a while before he would be to make a comprehensible sentence, let alone command a Pokémon battle, and glanced back at Johnson. Say... A moment later Johnson blinked and then jumped slightly.

    ”Arrgh! Voices!” he shouted before Espeon quickly sent a hasty telepathic message explaining to Johnson what he intended for him to do, and hoped silently to himself that Johnson would just go along with it.

    Err... Feraligatr, do a good thing! Johnson tried a moment later uneasily.

    Like? the alligator Pokémon growled back as he eyed the Altaria and Golbat who were now circling him, obeying Ein’s orders.

    Think, Johnson! the officer thought as he waved his hands to himself as he felt his heart beat quicken. What would Magikarp do? He glanced at his Pokémon for a moment before focusing back to the blue giant.

    Jump up...really high! he conveyed to Feraligatr, who frowned at the Johnson.

    Well, if you say so, he grumbled, jumping slightly into the air just as the two Flying types decided to swoop at him. Although the jump had been rather small given the large Pokémon had been motionless, it was enough to force the two to make the sudden adjustment to their flight paths, which enabled Feraligatr to swing his arms outwards into his opponents and catch them by their heads in mid-air.

    “Fera!” (It worked!) he shouted with surprise before shrugging and bashing their heads together.

    “Altaria!” (Oww!) the dragon shouted as she spat a blast of fire from her mouth in retaliation that singed Feraligatr’s left arm while hurting the Golbat considerably.

    “Baaat!” (Dloob!) shouted the bat as he gasped and fell limp as Feraligatr jumped again as a reflex reaction to the searing pain and dropped the bat as he shook his paws quickly, his now burning claws adding to the pain. He then directed the Altaria’s face away from himself as the screeching bird continued spewing fire haphazardly, and threw the dragon towards Ein.

    “What the-” the scientist shouted as he instinctively ducked out of the way, letting the bird fire straight into the hole just created by his other two Pokémon and crash into the remaining parts of wall. The Altaria gave a startled squeak before fainting as well.

    “Well don’t just watch, keep creating an exit!” he shouted at his remaining Pokémon as he recalled the other two and looked back at the battle field, observing that Wes was still babbling nonsense to himself and frowned. He then turned his attention to the policeman who was gazing at Makuhita.

    You should jump as well, it really works! Johnson thought eagerly to the Fighting type. You might as well jump!

    No, punching is more fun! Makuhita shouted telepathically as he waved his arms at the man and then demonstrated how well it was helping Wes regain his senses. As this went on, Espeon noticed Ein’s gaze and quickly stepped into the conversation.

    Sorry to interrupt the enthralling conversation here, but Johnson - stop nodding and looking at the Pokémon you’re thinking to like that! Or that man will notice!

    Oh, okay, Johnson thought to Espeon happily as he turned and begun to nod at the Psychic type, adding in a thumbs up for good measure.

    “Aha, you thought the same trick would work again?” Ein said, shaking his head as he laughed at the giveaway and walked back to inspect the progress on his escape route. “Repeat the confusion attacks on the officer there, Lanturn and Huntail!”

    “Lanturn!” (Not water!) called the fish Pokémon as he emitted another set of dazzling lights at the target as Huntail began a screech of his own.

    Thanks, Johnson, and I don’t mean that sarcastically this time! Espeon thought quickly to the Policeman and smirked. Hook, line and sinker, Ein. As the attacks converged, Espeon leapt in front of Johnson and glowed a deeper shade of purple, letting the status effects hit him instead before the aura around him brightened and reflected the attacks, the majority of the waves of light and sound flying right back at the original perpetrators.

    “Oh, I-” Ein began as it dawned him all too late as his water types found themselves on the receiving end of their own attacks.

    “Lant!” (Water!) Lanturn shouted as he blasted water into the Huntail, who shouted and retaliated back as they squirmed about on the ground.

    “...see,” Ein finished as he shook his head and recalled his two Pokémon. Espeon grinned as he breathed deeply to recover from the energy further expended on his Magic Coat manoeuvre. The only remaining sign of Ein’s Pokémon were now the feathers floating around the room that hadn’t yet attached themselves to Wes’ Pokémon.

    “Good work... Espeon...” Wes managed slowly as got to his feet. He shook his head and tentatively tried to keep his balance.

    “Umb Umb Umbreon!” (Da daaaaah daahh dah!) Umbreon shouted as he suddenly fell over himself. Espeon looked at his brother and sighed.

    “Espeon esp...” (Don’t tell me some of the attack hit you too...)

    “Umb eon Umb!” (Dah dah DUUH DAAAH dum!) Umbreon replied before giggling oddly and attempting to bite his own legs.

    “Well that’s unfortunate...” Wes said as he grimaced in pain and clutched at his leg. “Yes... and you can stop punching me,” he added to Makuhita.

    “Makuhita!” (But punching solves problems!) Makuhita shouted proudly.

    “Bah, this is an untimely error of judgment I feel...” Ein said quietly to himself, ignoring the conversation between his opposition before gazing at the gap and grinned. But they managed to finish that hole to a satisfactory standard, but first I’ll have to reveal my trump card and then get out of here.

    “Yes, Makuhita, but I’m better...oh,” Wes said as he noticed the sudden appearance of a new Pokémon that looked all too much like Entei and Suicune in size and stature for his liking.

    “Fera...” (Not another one...)

    “Discharge, Raikou,” Ein said calmly as he picked up his flailing Lanturn.

    Espeon instinctively summoned a Protect barrier between himself and the two trainers on his side as Raikou snarled and unleashed a burst of electricity that engulfed the room and struck every other living being in the room, save for Ein who was protected by his Lanturn – the sparks that came his way were absorbed by the dazed fish Pokémon who glowed brightly, the electricity seemingly healing it rather than hurt it. The computers littered around the room burst into flames and test tubes exploded, showering the room in glass. Both Yanma and Feraligatr fell from the immense attack while both Umbreon and Makuhita hung on, the Dark Type continuing his senseless singing despite the attack. Espeon panted heavily after the attack ended and quickly dropped his Protect barrier, and Huntail also suffered from the friendly fire and fainted.

    “Good dodging, Magikarp!” Johnson shouted to his Pokémon which continued to flop around despite the attacks.

    “How did it avoid that attack...?” Ein mused, paying no attention to the state of his Huntail.

    “Are you trying to bring down the whole lab to kill us all or something!?” Wes shouted angrily as he recalled his fainted Pokémon.

    “Kill everyone? Hmm, yes, that’s a splendid idea. Raikou, Shadow Rush!” Ein said with a smile. The electric beast immediately charged forward at the trainers. Wes hurriedly glanced at Espeon.
    I’m too tired to do another Protect! Espeon conveyed to his trainer.

    “Stop him, Magikarp!” Johnson commanded. The fish Pokémon flopped in front of the Raikou and was instantly knocked back over Johnson’s head by the Raikou which continued its run, and smacked heavily into the wall with a loud slap.

    “Not like that!” Johnson shouted in fright. Wes looked to Makuhita who was running as fast as he could to intercept the Raikou, but although he managed to strike the Pokémon in the leg and evoke a roar of pain, he was kicked to the side for his troubles and rolled a few times into a wall. The fighting type narrowed his eyes and glared at the Raikou before getting to his feet again, but by then the Raikou had resumed his sprint.

    If only I were bigger... Makuhita thought, slamming an arm against the wall.

    He’s too small to stop that thing... Wes thought in tandem. “Right,” Wes acknowledged as he fumbled for another Poké Ball. Finding it in his coat’s pocket, he jabbed at the button as he aimed it in front of the group. He then grabbed Espeon and Johnson and hauled them to the side just as Entei appeared and was slammed into by Raikou.

    “Do your own Shadow Rush!” Wes yelled. The fire type this time was all too keen to oblige having been greeted by Raikou’s attack and flew into the opposing legendary beast himself. The Raikou responded by charging again, and so the two legendary Pokémon clashed, the room shaking as the large monsters struck each other.

    “WHAT!?” Ein shouted, stamping a foot and tugging at his lab coat. “HOW DO YOU HAVE DAKIM’S ENTEI!?”

    Oh, so Cipher still don’t know I have it... well until now, Wes thought as he continued to back away from the two Pokémon.

    “Nobody told me he went and lost it to you!” Ein raged. “Raikou, lure it this way so I can get out!” he shouted, but the legendary ignored him, too consumed by its fight against Entei.

    “Darn it all... but...” he mused, looking at his Lanturn. The confused Pokémon muttered gibberish at Ein. The scientist frowned and slapped the Pokémon before hurling it at the Entei.

    “Lots of water!” he commanded, and by luck Lanturn heard the command and obliged, shooting out water as he landed on the Entei. The fire type looked up and roared, distracted by the fish and set upon it instead.

    “No, don’t do that, Entei!” Wes shouted, but the additional water attacks further produced by the Lanturn prevented the legendary from paying any heed, while the Raikou added its own Thunderbolt attack to its opponent from afar.

    “Onwards at the trainers again, Raikou!” Ein yelled. The electric legendary shook his head slightly before setting off again, no longer overwhelmed by the need to take down the Entei.

    I’m slightly undoing its shadow status by calling its name, but I suppose that’s the least of my problems. For the boy though-no! Ein thought as a fist suddenly connected with the side of Raikou’s head and sent it flying into a wall with a loud thud.

    “How convenient... and... but...” Ein stuttered as something dawned on him. “No...that can’t be possible, unless...”

    “Hariyama!” (I got bigger!) the fighting Pokémon shouted. Wes grinned – they had been all so distracted by the Entei and Raikou battle that nobody had noticed Makuhita evolve suddenly and immediately make his impact. Now instead of being a touch below the waist height of Wes, the Pokémon towered over his trainer and had the physique of a large sumo wrestler. He lumbered forward towards the Raikou and picked up the dazed legendary before hurling him to the other side of the room into another wall.

    “If he evolved... he must have been purified...” Ein continued to himself. “So my process was fully reversed as well... and that Feraligatr must have...” The scientist banged his hand against a desk as Raikou limped away from the wall, snarling at Hariyama.

    “What’s the matter?” Wes asked with a smirk.

    “Raikou, this way to the hole!” Ein called suddenly, ignoring Wes. As Raikou turned and charged at the exit Ein ran at the electric and leapt on before ducking his head as they disappeared.

    “Wait...what? You can’t do that! Only Pokémon can flee battles!” Johnson shouted, waving his police badge at their direction. “Stop, in the name of the law! And my shiny badge!”

    “Well I didn’t expect that,” Wes said. “Nor for him to leave his remaining Pokémon behind...” he added, looking at Entei currently stomping on the Lanturn with great delight and the fainted Huntail. Sighing, Wes took out its Poké Ball and returned the fire type.

    “You won’t be much help in chasing that Raikou if you keep being distracted... Maku-no, Hariyama, you up for taking him on?” the fighting Pokémon nodded before marching off.

    “It has my name on it!” Johnson continued to shout, before pausing in thought. “What is the name of the law...?” he asked.

    “No, no. He’ll be too fast with a Raikou,” Wes said. “Espeon, do you have-”

    Yes, Espeon thought to Wes. Wes grinned and held up the newly evolved Pokémon’s ball and returned Hariyama, before Espeon took control of the orb and sent it whizzing after Ein.

    “Good luck,” Wes said softly, before sitting down on the ground and observing the burning surroundings.

    “I suppose Tom would have liked to be here,” he added to himself before pulling out his P*DA to alert Sherles.

    “Hey Wes, do you suppose the law’s name is Jim?” Johnson asked the teenager.

    “Hmm? Yes, I suppose it is a good name,” Wes sighed.


    Outside the lab the two policemen ordered to keep guard stood by the fake laser fence, kicking at rocks and shielding their eyes from the sun. Their Growlithe sat at their feet, panting heavily as they kept watch.

    “Gee, it sure is boring around here,” one complained as he took a sip from a cup of coffee. The other nodded – it was no fun at all to stay outside in this heat when everyone else was having a battle inside the air-conditioned lab. They could even hear the bangs and cries of Pokémon battling below.

    But the free coffee and food for their efforts did make up for it.

    It was at that point that Raikou crashed through the ground near them and landed on the ground untidily with Ein hanging on for dear life. He straightened and brushed hair from his face as Raikou stood still for a moment and regarded the policemen, who looked back at the pair with mouths open wider than an awestruck Swalot. The first officer didn’t even appear to notice he was spilling hot coffee on his pants.

    “Well, allow me to make it more interesting, gentlemen!” Ein smiled savagely. “Thunderbolt the fools!” The legendary Pokémon obliged with a thunderous roar and ejected a ball of dazzlingly bright electricity.

    “Oh dear-” one began before being struck by the attack, and fell.

    “Come in, we’ve got a guy on a Raikou-” the other shouted into his walkie talkie before also succumbing to a similar fate.

    “See, wasn’t that fun?” Ein asked. “But maybe I overdid it,” he added as he wrinkled his nose at the smell of singed clothing. “Yes, too much fun-” The scientist cut himself off as he heard the sound of a Poké Ball opening followed by a battle cry of an all too familiar Pokémon behind him.

    “Hari!” (Prepare yourself!) Hariyama shouted as he assumed a fighting stance as Ein turned his head.

    “Well... you were quite fast to get here,” he said slowly. “But even when evolved, your species is still not known for their speed, and so I am fairly confident you cannot chase me on foot. So I’m afraid we must dash!” Ein said to Hariyama before slapping the Raikou’s backside hard, prompting his Pokémon back into a sprint in the opposite direction.

    “Hari!” (Coward!) Hariyama shouted after them, shaking a fist before inspecting his surroundings. Noticing the pair of Growlithe whining and licking at the faces of their unconscious trainers, he walked towards them.

    But he’s right, I can’t chase after him... he mused as he picked up the distracted dog Pokémon. He then spun around quickly and like a discus thrower hurled the two fire types into the air. The pair of dogs yelped in surprise as they whizzed high into the sky. He then followed their path and watched the two projectiles fly towards the escapees.

    ...but I can throw things a great distance now, Hariyama smiled as he observed one crash into Ein who shouted in surprise and fell off his ride, and the other into Raikou’s head.

    Yes, I like being bigger.

    “Where did you... Raikou, wait up!” Ein ordered, but the electric Pokémon paid no heed, now angered by the surprise attack. He merely snarled at Ein and sprinted off faster than before into the deserts of Orre. Meanwhile the two Growlithe got to their feet despite being somewhat dazed by their impromptu flight. Looking at Ein and recalling it was he who had ordered the legendary to hurt their trainers, they growled.

    “Hehe... easy now, let’s not act hastily...” Ein pleaded, scrambling to his feet as the two dog Pokémon slowly begun to circle the scientist.

    “Hari, Hariyama!” (Wait for me, I want to hit him too!) called the fighting type as he ran towards the scientist. “Hariyama!” (I have the bigger score to settle, after all!)


    And the usual what-was-in-the-game-and-chapters deal! Not very long as it's just one battle:
    Ein Battle - He's not an easy opponent here - likes to use some status himself (although I didn't use his tendancy to go with toxic like he sometimes does in the games). As usual he has one of the legendary Johto beasts as his last Pokemon, and manages to escape when defeated via the elevator while Wes and Rui just stand there and derp out, which isn't really convincing; hence his attempted getaway via Raikou. He's been kinda left in the dark over what Wes manages to do before hand besides 'he's screwing up Cipher', and is deleting data prior to the battle (which will be dealt with next chapter!). In the game though you give the wiped disk to the kids grid who then slowly unearth data on shadow Pokemon.

    As a side note he changes up his team in rebattles considerably and will adopt a LightningRod combo (one poke as that ability and the other is a water flying type of some sort, e.g. Gyarados). But the first time around he doesn't have such a plan or team.

    His wants-to-battle animation always struck me as amusing because it appears at first he's stroking his chin... only for the camera to pan to the side and show it's stroking thin air in front of his face. He's probably a bit out of it after all that coffee he used to keep himself awake.

    And yes, Makuhita should normally evolve before this battle, but he lost those exp points, remember? =p
    Hope you enjoyed!
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2011
  19. Rotomknight


    review beam bean thing!
    I thought umbreon did not know light screen?

    what is the name of the law?

    non boss ones are funnier.

    still funnier.
  20. Missingno. Master

    Missingno. Master Poison-type Trainer

    Another great chapter! Loved Magikarp's personality, and what with Makuhita constantly complaining about his size in this chapter, I had a sneaking suspicion it was going to evolve.

    Which leads me to another question; Even though Colosseum is a Generation III game, you had no problem including Generation IV attacks like Hammer Arm and Discharge. Would the same hold true for Generation IV Pokémon? Like, say... Yanmega?

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