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The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum

Discussion in 'Completed Fics' started by bobandbill, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. Excitable Boy

    Excitable Boy is a metaphor


    What would Magikarp do?
  2. Blue Astra

    Blue Astra Icy blue

    Review up

    Wonderful chapter. Hurray for Makuhita evolving, punching-desire and coffee references. The jumping technique was a hit and it was nice to hear Magikarp’s thoughts. Ein was sinister all right (what with attacking humans), suits him (maybe the only worthy Admin). I guess he’s as bloodthirsty as his Golbat (though he doesn’t shout Blood! or I vant to suck vour blood! all the time)…

    Quote time… (Yay, Quote Time!)

    As I said before: Hurray for punching-desire and coffee references!

    Imagine how rich we would get just by selling this to unfortunate trainers.

    Makuhita’s statements are epic

    I loved this scene (am I a bit sadistic, no?)

    Hurray for Makuhita’s evolution.

    His evolution not only made him bigger, but smarter too. I see that he got another habit besides punching: hurling various creatures to an obstacle. But you have an obsession with torturing Growlithes. You should be handed to the UFPGFB&B (Union For Protecting Growlithes From Bob&Bill) ( ;

    Good old Johnson.

    Waiting for Tom’s grand entrance.

    Yeah, fun! Am not the only sadist, am I?

    End of Quote Time...

    If this wasn’t a humour driven fic, I would prefer Ein being more wicked and bloodthirsty… I guess coffee had other effects on him too… Also, I noticed Ein has similar likings as his Pokémon: blood like Golbat, coffee like Yanma, fleeing like Raikou did in the end… Show me your Pokémon and I’ll tell you who you are…

    I’m looking forward to your next chapter and the way they’re going to capture that Raikou… And of course Tom. He will show up, won't he?

    Until then... Keep it up.

    ~Truthfully yours~
  3. Rotomknight


    I wonder what skarmory would be like after purification...
    Would it go nuts when it hears about flowers still.
    It would be funny if when wes fights what's his face.
    Nascour's boss.
    Wes catches tyranitar.
    Then he loses.
    then johnson and tom come up.
    Tom makes slowking start drinking.
    Johnsons magikarp kills slaking by bouncing it off the platform.
    Then miror B hides in the escape copter.
    Nascour's boss runs in chopper.
    Miror B. makes the chopper dance with everyone in it.

    When will next chapt be up?
    soon or long way?
    NOvember or december?
    next year?

    If venus was captured,
    How will they get their keys.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2011
  4. Megamence123

    Megamence123 Member

    Dude this warstory is just epic. I love your writing style and humor. Makuhita/Hariyama is the best character so far. Will you add me to the PM list please?
  5. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Yay reviews~ Cheers all - looking forward to more! ;p
    Good pick - it doesn't, so I edited it a bit to make it more along the lines that Umbreon helped Espeon summon two light screens rather than use it (the brothers would know each other well enough I feel for this to be viable, with an energy-sharing thing. Maybe a sort of twist on the power swap deal as well I guess?). And the name of the law is Jim...bo.

    Non boss ones are funnier than...boss ones, but still funnier? What exactly do you mean by that? It's a biut vague, sorry.
    I hope it wasn't too obvious, but I'd rather it be that than be too left-field with the evolution.
    I'll say that the Yanmega evolution is possible going by that logic, but whether it would happen is another story. What one can be sure of is that if Yanma ever evolved nobody's coffee would be safe.

    (And as an aside I go with moves from other gens because the learnset of Pokemon is not a story mechanic but purely a game mechanic issue. If Colosseum had been made in gen five those moves would have been in the game after all, and when the level-up movesets can change even in the same gen, like gen three, it's somewhat silly to force a limit there imo as long as it makes sense for the Pokemon to know the move.)
    Truly the great question of our age.
    Yeah, Golbat is just a bit more blood-thirsty. =p Glad you enjoyed those parts though! And heh, the jumping technique certainly was a hit. ;p
    I bet that fellow from Pokemon XD is already trying to market it. =p
    Maybe but a dazed Umbreon should be amusing to most people, or so was my intent anyways. =p
    It is a most beneficial evolution that somehow makes Makuhita several times larger - that brain would likely benefit at least slightly too. =p And I object - I argue that I have given Growlithe a use and also a method to using Aerial Ace! =p (Funnily enough, a move they can actually learn).
    Maybe next chapter. =p Although grand is subjective at times with drunks I suppose.
    Yeah, fun! Am not the only sadist, am I?
    I can see where you are coming from with the first thing there - remove any comedy retake and what you have from Colosseum is the guy who came up with making Pokemon into angry fighting machines in the first place. The other thing is also a neat observation I didn't plan, so I guess it is true - you are what you eat-er, train. (But that is generally the motif for the admins! Miror B dances and is easy-going - has a Ludicolo army. Dakim punches people, is the muscle guy - has physical attackers that love Earthquake. Venus is a vain character - her strategy is status, particularly Attract and confusion. Ein's the smart guy, hence the combos like toxic and later on lightningrod Pokemon partnered with water/flying. In a way you can extend it to the XD:GoD admins too).
    Raikou shall be dealt with before the fic is finished, certainly, and Tom has not spoken his last, er, 'word'. =p
    Shall do! Thanks for the review again. =)
    I wouldn't blame him. Flowers that sing stop you from sleeping and are just plain annoying.
    How does a helicopter dance...? @_@ I mean sure, Miror B is pretty skillful with his moves but that'd be quite the feat. =p Anways, I'll confirm that that is not how it will end. =p
    As usual - when it'd ready to be posted, and not before. That said, likely sometime in December. It'll also likely be a touch shorter than previous chapters, partly as originally this chapter was going to be longer. Then I thought up some more scenes and points to cover and so split it in roughly half.
    This'll be covered when it comes up too, but you are assuming that keys need to be obtained in the first place in the fic. =p (As a side note, maybe keep speculations on what happens in the game in spoilers? Some readers haven't played the game after all so they do not know everything).
    Glad you enjoyed, and how about that, Makuhita is on a favourite list. \o/ He'll be sure not to punch you first if ever he gets angry. =p And added to the list.
  6. Two things
    "Child" is singular, "their" is plural. "Their" should be changed to "his" or "her" to make a correct sentence.
    Second, Charge Beam is a gen IV attack and PC is a gen III, which I'm sure you know. It's not necessarily wrong, but it does seem a little odd.
    Anyway, YES, a new chapter!
  7. Hikaru 2000

    Hikaru 2000 Lugia's No.1 fan

    amazing fic. pls add me to the PM list so i can love it more!
  8. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Good pick with the former, fixed that.

    And with the latter; yes, I'm aware, and it was a purposeful choice as well. (As said above, I feel the movesets of Pokemon is purely a game mechanic thing that wouldn't matter had for instance Colosseum made during this gen - and Raikou don't start or stop knowing that move for any other reason besides it being just an evolution of moves/etc across the generations or even within them as well).

    Added, but do you have anything else to say beyond it being amazing, curiously (eg what parts did you like in particular?).
  9. celestial phantom

    celestial phantom Well-Known Member


    To begin I will say that your fic gets a 10/10 from me.

    Now as to the review, I have read all the chapters thus far and to point out your strong point would be your use of imagery. When I read the chapters it feels as if I can picture them happening as they happen. Whether it be the details of a battle or makuhita or now hariyama wanting to punch and hurt everything in sight, its as if the action is happening right in front of me. It also is nice to see that you give character advancements as the fic goes on and every pokemon has their own personality that is something that really lacks from other fics I have been reading. In terms of the low points, well I don't see anything wrong with your fic except minor spelling or grammar errors which can always be improved on. Keep up the great writing b&b and here's to the greatness of this due to the efforts of tom and miror b.

    P.S. may i be added to the PM list, this is one fic i definantely want to see play out.
  10. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    That's good to hear regarding the imagery comment as it's not that often commented upon (even though I guess the prime focus is the comedy and all it's good to have that working too, especially as it helps support some of the jokes). Also good to hear your thoughts about the character advancements as it was particular lacking in the first parts of the fic, in the original versions anyhow. As for minor spelling grammar issues - any specific instances come to mind? I would like to know where they are to fix them after all. =p And thanks for the review!
  11. pokemonranger7098

    pokemonranger7098 Eevee Master

    Lol, loved the chapter!

    Wes' thoughts: amazingly funny! I wonder how they continued on after that...?

    My first thought: Umbreon got his handlebar moustache!

    Lol'd when I read this. Sounds like he's singing his jumbled-up version of the Superman theme.

    Johnson already told us... His magikarp is EV trained, dumbo. You might as well be one, Ein...
    Can't wait for the next chapter!
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2011
  12. chanseychansey77

    chanseychansey77 Elite Trainer


    Anyway, another triumph for bobandbill! I love your writing style, random and spontaneous but consistently humorous and entertaining. And the swell characters. ("Stop filming my lawn!")

    ...And I guess that's all I have to say. Take as much time as you need to make the next chapter as good as the latest!
  13. Glover

    Glover Pain in Rocket side

    Man, I wish I'[d seen this before you editted. While Umbreon doesn't know Light screen, it does no Snatch asa starter move. And guess what move is Snatchable...
  14. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Chapter Up!

    Something akin to Tom's thought processes, I imagine. XD (On that note, there is actually a vague reference at the end of that bit you quoted! Only I don't expect anyone to get it except maybe one person, and even then it's pretty vague.)
    Ha, that thought amuses me. XD
    Well, told us, but not Ein. =p
    Hopefully the last month was enough time. =p *motions below*. Glad you enjoyed it though, and hopefully you will like the new one as well!
    Snatch is a way to do it, yes, but it wouldn't result in two Light Screens iirc, just the move being 'transferred'.

    And oh look, another chapter. And within a month of the previous chapter being posted too, OH MY! :O

    Beta read by Chris the Com.


    Chapter 23 – Back to the Drawing Board

    “Today’s breaking story!” shouted a news reporter from a radio in Nascour’s office which was empty save for a bored Dakim. He had nothing to do after being told off by Nascour for breaking all the chairs in training the grunts on how to defend oneself against enraged Ursaring, and so he had given the Cipher agents the rest of the day off from his care.

    “There have been various unconfirmed sightings of a Raikou in the region,” the reporter continued. “Police have quashed claims from various citizens that this is a sign of either the apocalypse or an oncoming sale, but have nonetheless investigated the claims. The police have been busy today, having made a raid on a large faculty. We do not currently know the purpose but are hard at work in training our undercover Rattata in recording conversations and garnering the truth for our loyal listeners! All...ten of you.”

    “Man, that’s weird,” Dakim mumbled. “Ein had one of those yellow things, didn’t he?” He then sighed, reminded of his loss of Entei, and gazed out of the window at the still, dark night. Sure, the Pokémon had been rather angry and didn’t listen much to him, nor had it been keen on wrestling, but it was tough. But it wouldn’t have survived that fall from Mt Battle.

    Nascour then walked in as the reporter moved to interviewing the aforementioned Rattata.

    “Hey, Nascour, can I have a new Entei?” Dakim asked.

    “No,” he replied coldly.

    “Aw,” Dakim complained.

    “We’ll be lucky if we can make any more Shadow Pokémon within a year,” Nascour continued, before Dakim could ask about getting a giant Rattata. “I think acquiring more powerful Pokémon is the least of our current worries, given the current state of matters. And first we need Ein back safely, and given he should have arrived two days ago... anyway, we have a special guest,” Nascour continued as a short, stout man walked in.

    “Who is that man who was shouting at me about not wearing enough blue?” he asked Nascour as he tugged at his brown coat.

    “Ah, sorry about that, that must be Bluno, one of our agents. We found him moping about in the desert recently and so we brought him back in. He and his brothers are... a bit odd, to put it plainly,” Nascour explained.

    Dakim blinked blankly. “Hello, man...” he said slowly as he scratched his head and looked down at the newcomer.

    “You do realise who I am?” the man replied, only for Dakim’s vacant expression to remain.

    “He’s the mayor of Phenac, Dakim,” Nascour muttered. “Es Cade.”

    “Oh yeah!” Dakim brightened, shaking the mayor’s arm. “You gave us money!”

    “...Yes, I suppose that’s the main thing I’ve done,” the mayor said angrily as he rubbed his arm. “If it wasn’t for my actions there would be no Cipher!”

    “And we’re all grateful for that, sir,” Nascour said soothingly.

    “But it seems because of Cipher there will be no me,” the mayor continued. “Granted, when you put money in any investment there’s always going to be a risk, and this one had more than usual. But to have Snagem fall just like that...” he said, snapping his fingers. “And just when construction finished on this wonderful tower as well!”

    “On behalf of Cipher I apologise for what has happened,” Nascour said quickly. “That’s why I think it’s wise for us to pull out our operations now, for the time being. Get Ein back, go into hiding and wait for things to cool down before going back into business. We have other factions still being developed after all, so it may be best to wait for those to be ready.”

    “Hmm. That may be for the best,” the mayor muttered.

    “Man, I had an idea too!” Dakim continued with a smile, oblivious to the current discussion. “Say we got someone to look like Wes and have him do bad stuff! Then everyone would think he is bad and be distracted from us, man!”

    “That is one of the stupidest ideas I have ever heard,” Nascour replied. “Besides, we already have an arrest warrant put out for Wes.”

    “Well... two Wes are better than one!” Dakim protested. “Or...Okay, how about this – we make a big door that can be only unlocked with keys and each admin gets one of them, so they have to beat us all individually to be able to get in!”

    “And how do you propose we get a key to Venus?” Nascour asked. “And that won’t stop them coming in from the top by helicopter or the windows if they were to storm in. And what about when we open this place to the public – how would they get in?” he added, counting off the bad reasons on his fingers.

    “We’ve gone into great length discussing the details earlier about this, Nascour and I,” the mayor added. “We’re going to open this place up tomorrow regardless, so I want you all to help clean up so any sign of Cipher here isn’t in open view. But Shadow Pokémon battling will have to wait for a later date, which is a shame for that was the drawcard for this place! Phenac’s Colosseum didn’t draw the number of people I wanted, so Shadow Pokémon was the way I was to get people back in.”

    “And then we’d put a punching machine behind the door, man!” Dakim continued. The mayor sighed and sat down on the sofa as Nascour tried to dissuade Dakim.

    “Hello, all!” Miror B sung as he waltzed in and spun on the spot, striking a typical disco pose. “What’s been grooving over here?”

    “Ah, about time,” Nascour said, waving away Dakim’s protests that punching machines were cool. “I trust that everyone from the lab is now back?”

    Miror B’s smile faded slightly as he paused. “Yes, about that...” Miror B said slowly.

    “Oh no,” Nascour said, feeling an all too familiar pang of pain in his stomach in anticipation of Miror B’s answer. Groaning, he decided to join the mayor on the couch.

    “What do you mean?” the mayor asked gruffly.

    “Oh, hello there, mayor!” Miror B sung, patting the man on the head. “My, is it just me, or did you lose some weight?” The mayor simply stared back, his frown growing by the second.

    “His weight is the least of our worries!” Nascour shouted. “Uh, no offence of course, sir,” he added.

    “Well, man, now that he mentions it...” Dakim said.

    “The news,” the mayor said sternly.

    “Well... I’m the only one to get back, unless people make it through the tunnel by foot,” Miror B explained. “Police showed up suddenly and stormed the lab, and I was the only one to get onto the train. I couldn’t have waited either or police would have caught me too. Ein might have escaped but I don’t know about that.”

    “Well that’s just great,” the mayor spat. “If I understand correctly, Ein was the brains behind the whole process?”

    “Yes... but we do have the majority of his work documented thanks to his files,” Nascour said slowly, walking to a set of drawers and opening it up, throwing papers behind him. “How to use the GTS...RNG files...Criminal Syndicates and You: Creating a Dress Code... ah, Ein files.”

    “Shouldn’t it be called Ein’s files or something?” the mayor asked.

    “He insisted on this wording,” Nascour answered. “Anyways, it all seems to be here,” he said as he leafed through the documentations. “Even if he cannot make it back, it merely means that we’d need a new person in his position if he doesn’t return, and we can store this information in a safe place easily enough.”

    “That’s good. Not ideal, but good. Block off the train system then,” Es Cade said. “If police are at the lab and find the train system they could then find us. Cave it in or something.”

    “Alright then, all we need to consider is how to keep Cipher hidden from the authorities. We’ve lost Venus already, and possibly Ein too. At this rate I don’t even think this place will go without notice for a while – one of them would eventually talk,” Nascour said. “Hence the need for us to burn the bridges, so to speak.”

    “Well, what if we stayed with that man, that...” Dakim began as he tried to think. “That Deep King man?”

    “The person owning the Deep Colosseum in The Under? No, we’re not hiding out there,” Nascour said abruptly. “Even if we gave him a Shadow Pokémon and he was to work along with us in giving them out to the public. Venus may not have minded the place so much because she had everyone wrapped around her little finger, but I refuse to live underground for a few years. Besides, that place is cut off now anyway, and we don’t need to be hidden from view ourselves except for those who have already been linked to Cipher by the media.”

    “Wait... a few years?” Miror B echoed.

    “Well of course! Given what’s happened we can’t afford to let it be known that Cipher will still be in operation for another...say, three years minimum,” Es Cade said. “In the meantime, the aim is to make it seem that Cipher has disbanded.”

    “I think we’ll sort that out tomorrow then,” Nascour said. “After hearing about police forces at the shadow lab – the shadow lab! – I think I should go...lie down and get some rest, after I deal with the railway. You two, help clean up the place and don’t let Cipher’s presence here be obvious to the random bystander. ” Nodding to the mayor, he then left.

    “So... ” Dakim began to the mayor, “you like battles?”

    “This isn’t a time for Pokémon battles and attracting undue attention to ourselves,” the mayor replied.

    “Well... do you like karate?” Dakim tried. When he was greeted with silence, he added, “How about throwing people great distances? I just find picking someone up and hurling them to be really calming, man, you know?”

    “I’m going to go practise my dancing,” Miror B said as he departed, humming a tune to himself. “And then I’ll go to the control room and see if everything is in order there.”

    “Nah, man, Nascour’s the only one who has permission to go there now. His orders,” Dakim said, shrugging.

    “Really?” Miror B replied, frowning. “Well... dancing and decorating it is then!” he concluded.

    Es Cade sighed, watching the giant afro with a man attached to it turn the corner. He had thought him strange when they had met only a couple of weeks ago, yet now it seemed it was more the norm for this place – and besides, Miror B never shouted at him for not wearing blue. Somehow I wish for the police to come here tomorrow just to end this all. Cipher’s by far the worst investment I’ve made since that gamble with those power-draining light bulbs, but I’m determined to stick with it. I’ve come this far, and to have put so much into this building...


    Nascour heaved a sigh as he descended to the underground train station and looked miserably at the scene. It would be a shame to have to cut ties and lie down low, but what else could he do? Despite his efforts, everything had come crashing down around him with Cipher.

    And the mayor was proving rather difficult as well. He had insisted on opening the place up to the public the next day – a full week earlier than initially planned despite the situation, and so that meant a lot for everyone to do without prior warning. He couldn’t help but think that it wouldn’t be quite so simple.

    And now they had quite possibly lost Ein as well as all the other scientists and Cipher peons, which would bring a further halt to the whole operation. And the mayor had been rather disapproving of Cipher’s spending costs on various computers and televisions too which he had broken upon wave after wave of bad news, and Nascour felt somewhat guilty when he found out exactly how much that had cost the mayor. Not that he would let the mayor know he had been responsible for that, but he now knew that he had to be a bit more careful in how he went about letting out his anger. Luckily he had someone put all the remains of the appliances in the control room so as long as the mayor didn’t go in there for the time being he wouldn’t find out about it.

    Walking past the train and glancing at the insides, Nascour made a mental note to get someone else to clean out the mess of confetti and the disco ball Miror B had left behind in the train. He then gazed at the dark tunnel in front of him and breathed in the smell of damp soil and sighed again. He also didn’t like the idea of blocking off all access between the lab and the base, given Ein had been the brains behind the Shadowfication process Cipher had been built upon – it didn’t seem right to abandon him like that. But the mayor had a valid point; if they left it open they left themselves vulnerable to police forces storming in from underneath.

    “Come on out, Metagross,” Nascour said, pulling out a Poké Ball from his belt and pressing the button upon it. A giant four-legged creature appeared in the air and landed with a heavy clunk, slightly shaking the train due to the sheer weight of its metallic body.

    “Metagross,” (Annihilation phase initialising,) it stated in a computerised voice.

    “Not now,” Nascour said.

    “Gross,” (Charging Hyper Beam,) it continued.

    “Maybe tomorrow, but today I just want you to do something a bit less destructive,” Nascour sighed. As annoying as Metagross’ lust for destruction was, he was most definitely one of the better perks of being the lead admin of Cipher in Nascour’s mind – there was something undeniably frightening about fighting a malevolent creature with higher capabilities than a supercomputer, and owning such a Shadow Pokémon was always a plus in his books. In fact Nascour had requested this one as his Shadow Pokémon instead of the legendary beasts three of the other administrators had been given, even though the average Orre citizen would have been more interested in seeing a legendary in action.

    “Metagross,” (Target locked,) the Pokémon said.

    “What? There’s no... wait,” Nascour said, glaring down the tunnel. Suddenly, save for the quiet hum of the Metagross, he noticed the sound of footsteps approaching. Soon enough a lone Cipher peon came into view, breathing heavily as he continued to jog.

    “Oh... hello, Nascour,” the man breathed as he noticed Nascour, before stopping as he also became aware of the presence of his Pokémon.

    “Hello... Skrub, wasn’t it?” Nascour said, frowning as Skrub admired the large Steel Pokémon. “I thought Miror B said he was the only one to get away.”

    “Miror B got back? Oh good,” Skrub breathed, before realising what Nascour had said. “But the only one back... yeah, that makes sense. I managed to give the police the, uh, slip, but they were getting everyone else pretty quickly.”

    “And what about Ein?” Nascour quizzed.

    “I don’t know,” Skrub answered. “He might have been able to, he might not. It was too hectic back in there but he was trying to, uh, get rid of some data.”

    “Ah, he is a good man if so then,” Nascour said softly. “So you are sure that nobody else is on their way back?”

    “Yes, I’m positive.”

    “Excellent. Metagross, get to work. Hammer Arm into the wall there,” Nascour directed, stepping back. Without hesitation the Pokémon slowly rose into the air as its humming increased in volume and frequency, floated forward and raised one of its legs.

    “Wait, what are you do-” Skrub said before the Pokémon crashed its limb into the side of the tunnel and twisted. At once, the tunnel in front of them collapsed, rock and soil tumbling down from above and blocking off the tunnel.

    “Orders of the mayor,” Nascour said simply. “We don’t want the police to come through here. You’re somewhat lucky you came here at this time,” he noted as he turned. Skrub merely frowned and stared at the man and his Metagross who hovered back. Nascour pulled out his Poké Ball and returned the large Pokémon back, before a noise from within the train caught his attention. He gazed at the door before a bedazzled man with a large afro akin to Miror B’s covering his eyes stumbled out.

    “Sasyasya explusions! Hairesy everyshmears!” the man shouted as his flailed his arms about.

    “What are you doing here?” Nascour shouted. Tom gave a small jump in response to the loud yelling and pulled off his afro.

    “Arrsgh! Scares mans!” he said when he saw Nascour glaring at him and hurriedly put the afro back on. Annoyed, Nascour stepped forward and pulled off the fake hair.

    “Out of uniform, drunk and not at work! I’m docking your pay for the week... whoever you are,” Nascour exclaimed angrily as he tossed the afro to the side. “Skrub, see that he gets back to work and then join him. We’re setting up for the opening tomorrow, so we need to hide all the incriminating evidence.” Nascour then stomped up the stairs, feeling all the more intent on getting his planned sleep.

    “Stupid Nascour...” Skrub muttered to himself. “I lose to the guy who everyone else lost to and I get a demotion, but someone can turn up drunk and sleep on the job and keeps his position! A joke if ever I saw one!” he grumbled as he followed, dragging a confused Tom behind him.

    “I donny wonny goes tum schooly!” Tom shouted desperately.


    The group that had been the cause of much of Cipher’s angst meanwhile had returned to the police station. Wes’ Pokémon were recovering decently outside of the room the people were resting in despite the tough battle they had, partly because Hariyama could no longer fit in the room, and was normally not trusted inside to begin with due to his tendencies to punch everything when he was a Makuhita. Umbreon had been treated to a lunch of Persim berries to help treat his confusion status, and Feraligatr and Yanma had been revived.

    “Hariyama!” (But my treatment also works!) Hariyama said to the Eeveelution.

    “Umb...Umbreon,” (Uh thanks, but... I’ll pass on your offer,) Umbreon replied uneasily.

    “Espi Espeon,” (At least you’ve recovered enough to recognise the folly in accepting,) Espeon remarked to his brother as he ate his own meal.

    “Feraligatr?” (So since when did you get so fat, Hariyama?) Feraligatr remarked with a wink. Hariyama stared at the crocodile and then slowly turned and looked at the police station with interest.

    “Yama?” (Hey, Espeon?)

    “Esp...eon?” (I’ll humour you...what is it?) Espeon said.

    “Hariyama?” (Reckon I can throw Feraligatr over that building?)

    “Espeon. Esp...,” (Maybe try when people aren’t inside it. Besides the prisoners of course...) Espeon advised as he looked up at the group accompanied by a swarm of flies, as Feraligatr gave a warning growl to Hariyama.

    Wes meanwhile had recovered considerably well from his battle, also thanks to the help of several Persim berries, but he personally felt that Rui’s facial expression when she had seen what had happened to him from the battle, her sweet kiss and then nonsensical angry shouting at Ein earlier on had a greater effect than all those berries. Johnson for the moment was strutting around the room boasting about his own contributions to the raid to anyone who cared to listen, which amounted to a wall painting and a mirror.

    “Well, we’re to attack the hideout of Cipher tomorrow,” Sherles said happily to the group as he walked into the room.

    “We are?” Rui asked. “Ein already told us where it is?” Ein had earned his own jail cell, having been found only a short distance away from the laboratory. Hariyama had been most pleased with himself, but disappointed that the police had insisted that Ein had been thrown around and spun about in circles enough. Likewise the two Growlithe had also wanted more fun with the scientist, but settled for licking their wounded trainers’ faces. Said police officers were recovering with the help of the best medical support Pyrite could offer, which consisted of a few pain killers and more bandages than the insides of a Cofagrigus.

    The news of Ein’s capture and arrest and its importance was currently being kept away from the media as best as possible, although it did not prevent an angry Eusine from finding out and proceed to shout at Ein for ‘tainting the pure and wonderful creature that was his darling Suicune’ repeatedly. Annoyed at the lack of response given by the scientist, he then treated the man to ‘purposefully poorly-performed card tricks’ as some sort of additional punishment, despite the fact that Ein slept through most of his ‘show’. The rest of the cipher prisoners were luckier than the group that had been arrested in The Under, spared from being chained to the roof of the prison in Pyrite and instead kept inside the Shadow lab.

    Despite the evidence indicating he had been there, Miror B was nowhere to be found. What had been found besides spare copies of his salsa tape were wiped disks of data that Ein had tampered with. The members of the Kids Grid in Secc and Nett had taken them in an attempt to recover the lost data, but had so far only managed to pull up more garbled text files containing golfing scores and secret ingredients to making the perfect waffle.

    “No, a new source did,” Sherles replied. “A bit embarrassing actually because it involved a police force we had in Eclo Canyon...”

    “What do you mean by that?” Rui asked.

    “Well... there may have been an incident involving everyone on the force stationed there falling into a pit,” Sherles said dryly. “The important thing is that we now know where to attack.”

    “Was it Team Snagem members who told us?” Wes guessed.

    Sherles nodded. “The deal is that we leave them alone, and they help us take down Cipher. We’re a bit down on numbers now after all those battles and the need to have people monitoring other areas at the moment like The Under. Duking at least can keep an eye on things here, but elsewhere... and we’re still trying to find that Raikou as well.”

    “Strange... maybe Cipher pissed them off,” Wes suggested.

    “Yes, that seems to be their motivation, besides giving themselves a buffer from ourselves. It’s somewhat odd as we know Cipher used Team Snagem as a front and all so they had an agreement beforehand. But I’m inclined to believe them.”

    “Why is that?”

    “Firstly it’s because those officers are still in that pit. Secondly, we recently installed a person there as an undercover spy and thus far what we’ve been able to get back has confirmed the claim.”

    “A spy? Since when?” Wes asked.

    “Earlier today, in fact, and already we have some info. We’re currently trying to link up with the person who leaked to us about Cipher’s attack on Mt Battle.”

    “Not a bad idea,” Wes said. “So where is this place?”

    “Realgam Tower,” Sherles said. “A large tower in-between Phenac and Pyrite, set to be the region’s new main battling colosseum and hotel.”

    “Ah yes, Rui and I saw that earlier when we came from Phenac – it’s kinda hard to miss. In fact, that’s where I got the gear for the windmill from,” Wes said.

    “The workers there were smelly,” Rui added.

    “It’s been made to bring people into the region to watch ‘fantastic Pokémon battles like you’ve never seen before’... which is an interesting investment given Phenac’s City’s Colosseum failed to bring in enough tourists by itself despite its own stature. And having checked financial records, it’s been personally financed by the mayor himself,” Sherles continued, before frowning. “Only it seems the money used came directly from taxes taken in Phenac.”

    “You don’t suppose...” Rui begun, frowning to herself, “that they were going to use Shadow Pokémon to advertise the region?”


    “How could he?” Rui said angrily. Sherles shrugged in reply.

    “He’s the mayor, so he can basically do as he likes – as said, even though his power was only for Phenac, he basically had a lot of say for the region as a whole. He is why you can’t buy bubble gum or red apples in this region, and it seems his power includes what gets constructed outside of Phenac, clearly. But tomorrow that may all change. Hopefully anyway! We’ve got a- yes, what is it? Come in,” Sherles said as a knock sounded on the door. An officer walked in.

    “Chief,” he said, saluting. “The visitor has arrived.”

    “Ah, that’s good. Rui, we have a surprise for you,” Sherles said.

    “Oh?” she asked curiously.

    “Hello, Rui!” Eagun said as he walked in.

    “Grandpa!” she said as they hugged, her head briefly disappearing in Eagun’s beard. “But why are you here?” she asked as she withdrew.

    “I asked for him,” Sherles answered. “A couple of reasons – firstly, I want to consult him regarding the legendary Johto beasts.”

    “Oh?” Rui asked, looking at her grandfather curiously.

    “Well, they don’t call me the legendary trainer for nothing!” Eagun boasted. “Or the Super Deluxe Spinster Champion either!”

    “They don’t call you the latter,” Sherles said slowly.

    “They don’t?” Eagun said, blinking. “Well I know my things about legendaries at any rate!”

    “Yes... I’m sure you and Eusine will get along swimmingly,” Sherles said, already seeming to regret inviting the old man. “Thing is, we need to decide if bringing Suic-”

    “Back when I was a lad I became famous for solving the mystery behind the Jirachi of Orre!” he boasted, before leaning in. “The true culprit had been the maniacal Poffin,” he whispered.

    Sherles sighed. “Maybe tomorrow evening will be a good time for old tales,” he suggested. “But I’ll ask about what I wanted later. The second matter is...well Eagun, did you bring it?” Sherles asked.

    “What? Oh, yes, it’s somewhere in here...” Eagun said, reaching inside his beard and rummaging through it. “Ah yes, here it is,” he said eventually, pulling out a Poké Ball and handing it to Wes.

    “Is this a...” Wes said quietly, turning the purple and white sphere around in his hands to locate a small capital ‘M’ inscribed above the ball’s button.

    “A Master Ball,” Sherles confirmed. “I know Eagun had one, and so asked if he still had any need of it.”

    “And I’m long retired, and it holds little sentimental value to me,” Eagun added.

    “I feel it may be useful if this Nascour fellow we heard of from other admins has a powerful Shadow Pokémon that you may have trouble snagging with a regular ball,” Sherles explained. “Every little bit helps after all.”

    “Well...thank you,” Wes said, unsure what to say. He had heard about the item – it never failed in catching its target once it made contact with the Pokémon, and only a few had been made, usually for Pokémon professors or the sort. Eagun must have been good in his day to be able to have one...

    “Anyways, I think some heading to bed early would be a good idea,” Sherles said. “We’ll leave in the morning once I get confirmation from Team Snagem. And then we’ll look into making a bigger system for purifying Pokémon too, because it is likely there’s a large number to get from the Colosseum there.”

    “One thing though,” Wes interrupted. “You mentioned the spy, but who is it...?”

    “Ah,” Sherles said. “Well, when I said we sent someone there, it’s more like he went by himself without telling anyone beforehand...”


    Silva grinned as he exited the supplies room of Realgam Tower. It seemed for once that he had managed to sneak into a Cipher area without being caught, although it helped that he had dressed up as a guard to help convince people that he was supposed to be there, complete with fake glasses and moustache. Having met Eusine in the morning and being handed one of his business cards, Silva had followed suit and made up his own to add to it and found giving it to everyone who asked who he was to be strangely fun. And nobody questioned him afterwards as well, so it clearly worked.

    Sherles had been far from pleased that he was there when he had contacted him, but he didn’t care – he wanted to do his bit and he was damned if he didn’t at least try. He now had something to do as well – try and find the person who had leaked the details of Cipher’s strike on Mt Battle.

    There wasn’t much he could do though besides try to gleam information about what was going on here and pull off small stunts like the one he had just performed now.

    Yes, he gloated to himself. If anyone was in a rush to escape in different clothing they would surely waste valuable seconds dealing with the fact the shoelaces have been tied together! And the itching powder in the spare socks...hehehe.

    He was still puzzled over why everyone was cleaning up and removing various papers and signs of Cipher from the reception area though.

    It can be only one of three possibilities, Silva mused as he observed someone hauling a large crate labelled ‘not incriminating evidence’ away. Either things here are usually this busy, they had a party the day previous and so were cleaning up now, or something is going to happen. And the lack of streamers and balloons don’t suggest the second option was the case.

    Unless Cipher just have really lame parties, he added to himself.

    “Ah, this would be much more delightful!” a man said as he walked into the reception area. Silva stared for a moment before instinctively ducking behind a desk and quietly observing Miror B’s trademark afro move to a wall, as music played softly from the radio he carried with him.

    “Yes, much better,” Miror B declared as he tossed away a poster about Cipher from the wall and replaced it with a cheerful painting of a Ludicolo. He took a few steps back to admire it, continuing to gush about its fabulousness. “Now if only they had decided to make a fountain about Ludicolo and not that silly Sudowoodo! And statues of the legendary dogs... what a silly and unstylish choice. But this shall do.”

    Silva remained silent. Well, he thought as he breathed deeply, I guess that rules out the ‘cipher’s parties suck’ option if he’s here, but I didn’t count on this. I hope he doesn’t recognise me after I got caught by those two cipher grunts working for him... Checking that his fake moustache was still firmly in place, he then noticed Miror B dance out of the room to decorate another part of the building. Silva stood up and followed from a distance. The man was now hanging a disco ball from the ceiling as he hummed to himself to the tune.

    How is this the same guy that kidnapped Plusle? Silva mused, as he considered if it would be wise to throw something at him as revenge for being caught at the risk of giving himself away. Maybe I could somehow slip in some itching powder in there?

    “Hey, Miror B,” another man said, walking into the room with another following him, stumbling about.

    “Oh? I know that voice!” Miror B said with a smile as he turned and shook the man’s hand warmly, before changing the song to something more fitting. “Good to see you get back, Skrub! Been working on those dance moves?”

    “Uh... I kinda haven’t had time as I only recently got here,” Skrub said.

    “Aw, you didn’t dance on your way here?” he asked in disappointment. “And who is this...?” he said, looking at Tom.

    “Arrghblurrghsmur!” the drunk shouted, pointing at the afro before running off.

    “...A fan, perhaps?” Miror B continued, scratching his chin. “I know people are often surprised by my afro but they don’t usually scream at it. He does look somewhat familiar but...well, he’s not that weirdo Mirakle B fan of mine at least,” he mused, shuddering slightly.

    “Bah, never mind him, he’s been shouting at everything in sight,” Skrub said. “Just some drunk worker here...anyways, I was the only other person to escape via the tunnel, I think,” he said in a quieter voice as the two walked off. Silva’s eyes lit up and he quickly followed, eager to hear more.

    “...and now it’s blocked off by Nascour,” Skrub continued.

    “Yeah, he mentioned that he was going to do that,” Miror B said. “But now what? We’re shutting up shop here, so if the police are going to act...”

    The police? Silva thought with surprise.

    ”...then the sooner the better. We’re going to have to get some message to them, but as the control room is now only accessible by Nascour which has the communications, and the mayor’s here that’s a pretty big risk for us-”

    “Ahem,” Silva interjected, and grinned as Skrub and Miror B turned around hastily. “I think I may be able to help.”

    “And who are you?” Skrub said sharply.

    “Oh, I am the great Silva!” he shouted as he ripped off his moustache, only to wince and shout in pain and hop about awkwardly, clutching at his mouth.

    “Who?” Skrub asked.

    “Ahhh... you know, I’m that... never mind,” Silva said, rubbing his face. “I’m on the side of the good guys, and although I don’t know about you two, your conversation suggests you’re not keen to stick around and get arrested. Did one of you beforehand send a message to the police about Mt Battle...?”

    “Why yes,” Miror B said slowly with a smile.


    Nearing the end!

    And the usual stuff about what is here and in the game!
    The Mayor - yeah, my very unsubtle foreshadowing early on probably said as much (never mind if you played the game as well), but the Mayor (Es Cade) is Colosseum's big bad. His involvement is not exactly defined with Cipher, mind, and there's a number of valid theories with him. What is clear is that (thanks to an NPC) Realgam Tower is the location of Cipher's main base and shadow Pokemon were to be used for exciting Pokemon battles, and it's hinted that whoever made it was rather rich... later revealed to be the mayor. There's some more to it, but that'll be covered in later chapters.

    Realgam tower - tbh this new nifty Colosseum didn't seem that necessary given Phenac already had a perfectly fine-looking Colosseum, but go figure! The true location of Cipher's main headquaters and financed by the mayor. Comprised of a large tower surrounded by some fancy yet pointless train tracks leading to it from the place's entrance. It doesn't in the game have an accessible part that links to the train system that goes to the lab, but imo it makes sense that it does.

    Dakim's grand ideas - actual ideas Cipher does try out! There is a guy who is sent about to trash your reputation and looks just like you, only to turn out to be a Cipher agent. Then there's the Deep King guy who can be found in the Under's 'Deep Under' Colosseum after beating the main game, which is also the location of the admins should you want to rebattle them afterwards. And to get into Realgam tower in the game, one needed to beat each admin around it individually and obtain a key to get in the main door. Only the last part is just plain silly as a) you can as pointed out get into the Colosseum by other ways anyway realistically, and b) people not working for Cipher are already inside. And it didn't even have a punching machine behind it. =( That, and in the game all the admins escaped or are still for Cipher; this is no longer the case for the fic.

    Nascour - has a shadow Metagross in the games as well.

    Eagun - when you're in the tower he'll (attempt to) message you via the P*DA. If you backtrack to Agate, the legendary trainer will give you the Master Ball. Yay!

    Silva the spy - he turns up again when you get to Realgam tower, in an actual disguise (which is probably why in the games this is the one point in which he is actually successful). Doesn't actually do much although given what happens later on one can assume he is in contact with the police (Sherles).

    Next chapter hopefully will be around a month or so as well (especially as part of it is already written too), but we shall see! Hope you enjoyed this one!
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2011
  15. Treecko's Awesomeness

    Treecko's Awesomeness Treecko is claimed!

    Ah, yes, another wonderful chapter. I like how you focused more on the villains than the heroes recently, as it provides an interesting change. I found a few grammatical mistakes, though, so here they are:

    I'm not sure what happened here. Maybe "will" was supposed to be "is"?

    I think you meant don't, unless that was narration, in which case it shouldn't be italicized.

    Well, overall, awesome. Keep up the good work!

  16. celestial phantom

    celestial phantom Well-Known Member


    Awesome another great chapter! As well I only noticed maybe one grammatical error which I can't seem to find which was a misspelled practice oh well no biggie.

    Anyway the humor in this was delightful and after careful analysis I think I have come to understand Tom's drunken slurs :)

    Tom!!! with a stylish new look <_<

    This one is obvious that the explosions hurts his hairy ears.

    How do you not like the afro?

    How does he not know the great Tom?

    My thoughts exactly.

    Okay, this has got to be, "Sir what an amazing afro I LOVE IT!"

    I think you can tell who I agree with on the decor around that place. Here's a hint: it's for the ludicolos.

    Aw, but I want one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Okay, whose been giving Dakim lessons on eduaction and actual good ideas again?

    Well, I don't want to go overboard for now and although this was mostly like a filler for information, I can only assume there will be a lot of action in the next chapter. Wooo! Keep up the good work and maybe go teach some comedians about real humor.
  17. Blue Astra

    Blue Astra Icy blue

    Review Up!

    *Shock* No way!...
    *Looks below* Yes way! Man, I was so tired today that when I saw that you had posted, I missed the “Chapter Up!” title and thought that you would reply once more to reviews. Was I surprised! And due to my shock, here is a big review for you.

    Good old Dakim.

    Beware humans! Roaming Raikus are a sign... a sign... a sign...

    Wow are they popular. And sending a Rattata as undercover?

    And now dear listeners you can hear Beethoven’s 5th Symphony that is followed by the Imperial March from Star Wars…

    Nice way of putting it. Are the other two brothers coming up soon? Or rather in the post-game stuff?

    Another demonstration of Dakim’s fabulous memory.

    And the irony of it! Who would (save for you b&b) ever think that all those ideas would be proposed by Dakim? And, I hate to admit it, but I didn’t think before how did all of Realgam’s visitors get in if the door was sealed… Take frequent breaks people, or you will need b&b explaining you the most evident stuff… (maybe the same goes for the game developers, no?)

    Well, now that he mentions it…

    It seems like he doesn’t know very much about Cipher. Like he’s not the real boss, but the one who just financed the project and all orders are given by Nascour. It’s just that the game gave me another feeling (like he was the ultimate boss and stuff). And I’m interested to see how you will explain the “Es Cade is Evice” thing.

    You need some verb there. Be it a “be” or a “is” (as treeko's awesomeness mentioned), but you need a verb.

    Yay for “hurling” references. Makuhita/Hariyama and Dakim have so much in common, I wonder why he wasn’t given to him, rather than Trudly. And calming? It seems that we sadists get another member in our ranks.

    That’s a way to describe Miror B. And poor Es Cade (serves him right actually) being shouted at and, moreover, being disappointed and thinking about the police coming to rescue him from this chaos of strange persons that don’t do their job right. And that’s when the “inestimable” Dr. Kaminko, “who is verily great”, started with his “incredible inventions, that are number one in the world”, heh? (btw, random appearances of Chobin's quotes here...)

    The one is calming himself by hurling people. The other by destroying TVs, PCs and other appliances. Everyone has a kind of sadistic way of relaxing. Members in our ranks so far: 5.

    And here is where I think that Tom will make his grand entrance.

    Fine. He didn’t appear in the previous quote, so I hope he will be here, but…

    And finally, here he is!

    It’s so good to pop up in a big company where the employers don’t know their employees. And I sense chaos is going to unleash sometime soon… (just imagine Tom trying to work, while all the time looking for something to drink… And he’s love for things on fire doesn’t help…)

    Deh, meh nether…

    Sweet! Who would resist such a treatment?

    Oh, goodness, Johnson… And poor objects having to hear him out...

    Poorly-performed card tricks can be deadly (if soaked through with poison, or if they’re disguised small knives that are thrown at the victim… Man, I could make Eusine’s show graphic!). Members in our ranks so far: 6.

    Random pastries references have been replaced by random waffle references

    *Shock* To the stake!

    If my grandpa had such a big beard, my cockatoo would be dancing from happiness. He loves my grandpa’s beard (he picks out hair after hair and plays with it, yeah another sadist) and now that grandpa had it cut a bit, he was somehow sad. We need Eagun here urgently! (poor Eagun won’t be able to use his beard as a bag after the bird’s treatment…)

    I found the sentence quite difficult to read, stumbling on the words, and had to reread it to understand it. Why don’t you put a verb there like “do”?

    Not with Miror B around!

    Poor Silva! His moment of greatness being ruined by a mere moustache…

    I liked the chapter and how it was villain-centered. As always, lots of humour and finally more plot holes were filled in… To be honest, I didn’t wait for you to post a new chapter so soon (I guess you already understood that) and can’t wait for the next one. Although it fills me with sadness that this fic will end so soon… Have you thought writing short stories with Tom, Johnson and Duncan and his lawn?

    Keep it up.

    ~Truthfully yours~
  18. Glover

    Glover Pain in Rocket side

    I'm just going to take this moment and say YAY for "XD setups!" between Kaminko's lightbulbs and replaceing Ein with


    We have ourselves *Gasp* CONTINUITY!!!

    Truthfully, I've goven up on trains in the Orre region. Much as I'd love for there to be some, there's no way to lay track in that sandy desert. If Micheal's scooter can't be supported, (XD) then how would one support a ton of rail and 300tons of train? What pan view do we see the track in?
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2011
  19. GroundBlaze

    GroundBlaze Starter Keeper

    Cool chapter

    no mistakes that other's haven't already seen....

    Looking fodward to the craziness that will insue from Mirror B + Tom + silva =-)

    Nice to have a chapter not primarily foucused on Wes
  20. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Thanks for all the reviews thus far!

    Cheers for the error catching, should be fixed now. And it's fun for me to focus on the villains at times, heh, especially as they're often ignored in Colosseum in terms of what they're actually doing too. Although I'll admit given they show so little of some (e.g. Dakim) that a lot are my own additions, but well!
    I'll try to! =D
    Haha, I imagine that's no easy feat to do, understanding Tom's slurs. XD
    Ah yes, a side note not mentioned in my spoiler thing after chapters iirc - in Realgam tower there actually are some pictures of Ludicolos so I felt it was obvious who put those up there, given Miror B is in Realgam tower at one point in the game.
    Probably if anyone was doing that, his own Pokemon.
    Aw, but overboard is good board. =p And yes, that's not a bad assumption.
    Haha, I've been tired like that before myself.
    A sign of what though?
    I know - most popular radio station of Orre!
    Nah, it still has to be his ever-so-cheery mayor/Es Cade theme. The other theme is for later. =p
    As said to someone else a while back, I'll be skipping a lot of the post game stuff because it's pretty badly put together/boring/hard to do given how stuff will end too, so a lot of it will show up beforehand instead, and for some of those they'll just get a mention like the brothers. They're not really entertaining after all by themselves and for them to show up at the lab after cipher is beaten would be...rather odd.
    Granted, mind, I've had a lot of time to think about the game, haha. But yeah, a lot of things are pretty silly. I mean, right after you spend time beating those admins up again to open a door, after an additional backtrack to Agate because of Eagun? 'Hi you are the thousandth visitor!'
    I kinda thought that too...until I played XD and things continued as normal for cipher despite the huge change in personal, which suggested to me that he was more an investor, or at any rate other people took what he did and ran with it. At any rate he is the lead man in the fic too - just less concerned with the finer details. As far as he's concerned (imo anyways), he put in the money and is concerned with what it's doing, while who is actually doing it he doesn't care so much as long as it's being done properly.
    Yeah, it occured to me as well that they're pretty similar as well in that respect, heh.
    Another thing not mentioned in my spoiler thing - oen of Kaminko's inventions had been mentioned in that chapter. =D
    Dare I say... psyche? =p
    Waffles are tasty and pastry-like. =p (After all they can be made from a dough).
    Well, his Pikachu's attacks would be super effective against it I gues...so more reason to keep your bird away from it. =p
    Yeah, I had a bit of a headstart with it admittedly, and it was a touch shorter as well. And I guess I have vaguely thought of it but nothing in depth or pre-planned or anything with that. I guess it's atm 'do XD retelling maybe after other stories and if I have the interest/motivation/ideas for it only'.
    Yay continuity. ~
    I guess that's why they only made the train and then gave up and went with underground trains instead. XD

    Also Michael's scooter sucked. >:[ (And was only affected in one part of the desert, admittedly).
    It seems a lot of people prefer the bad people rather than Wes, heh. Which I shouldn't be surprised at as that's the case with myself too... given Wes is arguable the Only Sane Man there and I prefer my wacky characters and all. =p

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