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The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum

Discussion in 'Completed Fics' started by bobandbill, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. DarkPersian479

    DarkPersian479 Well-Known Member

    Pretty much just these and the misspellings of "Magnemite."

    Well, I was hoping that we wouldn't have to see every single hideout battle, so thanks for the big ambush. Plus, with Cipher's oh-so-convenient healing machine right there, it makes no sense to wait for Wes, as he would then just be able to refresh his team before every battle.

    And everyone's favorite town drunk once again stumbles his way into a fine mess of a situation.
    Drunk as he is, at least Tom realizes that something bad IS about to go down...

    See, Gonzap, always look on the bright side xD

    Coffee+Pokemon=Hilarity+Trouble. Nore's probably got the thing addicted to coffee now, so I can see Wes either putting up with Yanma's coffee withdrawal, or having to give it the caffeine and putting up with the ensuing hyperness. Nice going, Nore.

    At least it explains Speed Boost, lol.

    Methinks we have a new winner for "Most Pathetic Way to Lose a Pokemon Battle." Even worse than having Tom beat you up in the restroom beforehand.

    Have to agree with Espeon here. besides, if Tom didn't have his Jack Daniels/Captain Morgan's/whatever the heck he drinks, well... he just wouldn't be the same Tom we all know and love.

    I repeat, TOM CANNOT GO SOBER! EVAR!

    The battle did go by a bit quickly, and with any other fic I would have a problem with a single Surf pwning almost everyone. But in this case, I don't mind, especially since it means Miror B. will appear that much faster.

    One thing I would like an explanation for is how Remoraid/Carvahna/etc can hover in midair. It's always struck me as weird in ALL the N64/GCN games (and PBR as well).

    And yay on the Gonzap/Nascour conversation. It nicely shows that already Wes is causing tensions between Cipher and Snagem (and this would eventually bite Cipher in the butt in XD ).

    Don't really know whether the highlight for this chapter was Tom's drunken ranting or Johnson pwning with Magikarp. Either way, I enjoyed the frantic free-for all and Miror B.'s next appearance now excites me.
     
  2. electivirus88

    electivirus88 New Member

    i love this fic. it was suprising with Johnson's Magikarp winning but this is hilarious
     
  3. Night_Umbreon

    Night_Umbreon Oh god! The imagery!

    Great chapter Bobandbill. I especially liked the random interruptions of the battle from Johnson and Tom. Seriously will that guy ever be sober? The Magikarp battle made me laugh too, along with all the Pokémon dialogue(Yanma and Quagsire mainly)

    Relieved at how you managed to skip all the trainers in the building in one go , i was afraid we would have some long sequence where Wes battled them one at a time, which is probably the most frustrating thing in the entire game.

    Also, will we see Miror.B in the next chapter at all?
     
  4. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Replies to reviews - you know you love them! Maybe not as much as I love reviews, but, whatever. :) Thanks for them all - keep them coming!


    Cheers. Glad you liked Tom's extra appearence, and he probably will have some stuff to do in the next chapter...
    Had to rethink, certainly, to avoid writing out serveal individual battles and try to make each on funny (and personally I'm a bit worn on ideas for Pokemon battles), I descided to make one big battle and leave it at that. Note that also basically everything in the next chapter was meant to be part of this one, but they ended up being separate chapters, as otherwise it would have been very long and rushed.
    I find Open Sesame to be slightly more 'original'... ;)
    Indeed... that would be scary.
    Hmm, yes, I did somewhat skip on that - I've pictured Faint Attack in that instance to be Umbreon sneaking behind Larvitar while he was distracted and taking the oppurtunity... granted, not really described but. I'll fix that... later. ;)
    Hurray, someone reads them! I usuaslly just write them right before submitting the chapter - glad you like them.
    ... Nope, dont' recall ever having heard of that 'cheat'... I've tried to do so without any cheat devices or anything as well, but there's no eascaping their eyes... eventually. However in the hideout there is the odd trainer that you can pass if you put enough distance between yourself and them.
    Thanks for the review Psyblade!

    Can't argue with that. ;) :)

    Yay for Tom. After the great responses about him last chapter, I was left thinking 'Pity I've used him now and not later', which was immediantely followed by 'Hey, why not use him anyway?', and so he reappeared again. The 'Did I come at a bad time' line was pre-planned, and the WWV screams were jsut on-the-spot randomness.

    Glad that I'm still making the Pokemon funny.
    Had been pre-planning that ever since mentioning Johnson's Magikarp in an eariler chapter.
    True... all due to primary school teachers druming into me that 'said' is bad and should only be used very occassionally... I've been taught that way, although I can see that it ain't so bad. 'Said' will get more love next chapter. :) Thanks for pointing that out.
    Bah, upon submitting, the occassional 'Magnetmite' mistake had spread to all of them, and when I tried to edit, it didn't process three times. It was 'fourth time lucky' for me to get rid of the 't'.
    The others I simply missed - I proof-read it a few times, but I'm not good and finding mistakes that I made... and I picked out a hell of a lot during the writing and afterwards as well.

    Hmm... I can do description, but I don't really focus upon it in this fic much... I've also had people tell me that they don't want description on the flip side of people saying that more would be nice - and that's fair enough considering this forum does like description so. I may expand it a bit - but I do like using description primarily to make things funnier in this fic.
    Bleh, differing opinions are differcult to sort, but I like that - after all, not everyone likes everything. I try to put in more description without distracting from the 'funny' parts.
    Now that's a good question... :0
    Thanks for the great review! Greatly appreciated.

    Thanks. Seems I got a good response from Magikarp's win. :)
    Wow, someone likes Quagsire more than the others... good that his part was funny.
    I overuse ellipses? Maybe, looking back it seems that somethimes I go for them a bit too often - I'll try to cut back on them.

    Thanks fishyfool!
    Imagine that move in the game...
    I shall keep up with the comedy. Thanks for the review.

    More Magikarp love. :)
    You have been added to the PM list. Thankls for the comments.
    Yay, only four mistakes this time round (and Magnetmite... stupid t).
    You're welcome. :) It would have been hell for me to write up every battle as well... but don't forget that there are many more battles to come... in the game that is.
    Bit hard to NOT notice a big Pokemon-war...
    'Always look on the bright side of life'...
    Good point there... for those who don't know, the animation for Yanma in Colosseum is it moveing rapidly from side to side, while jerking his head. Coffee idea had partly to do with that, as well as speed-boost.
    Indeed.
    ...Ok, Tom will remain non-sober. :)
    'And with any other fic'... that line has been mentioned, what, 3 or 4 times in reviews now? Is my fic that unique? Hurrah for execptions being made for me. :)
    Do note however that all the other Pokemon had been rather battered prior to that moment, thansk to Wes's Pokemon, Johnson's Magikarp, and Tom's foot. Not to mention that having your trainer taken out would be somewhat distracting, leaving one open.
    Yar, that is weird... and I'm kinda stuck on that for the moment.
    Yay, someone commented upon that scene! Was starting to think that it was being ignored or something... glad you liked it.
    Thanks for that review.
    Thanks.
    Thanks, Night_Umbreon! Again, there wasn't much of a way I could do all of the battle without making it boring and tedious and long... although I find the save function rather annoying as well...
    Oh, and Miror B will feature heavily in the next two chapters. That I can confirm.


    Thanks everyone for the reviews!
     
  5. Gardevoir Girl

    Gardevoir Girl is NOT a girl

    Loved the chapter. Sorry I couldn't post sooner, but I changed my email. The part with Magikarp winning the battle... that was priceless. And I loved the sign as well. I had a long list of things to say, but thanks to my forum problems I've forgotten most of them.

    ~GG~
     
  6. Animorph

    Animorph Bzzzap

    Genius

    Pure, utterly cripplingly funny humor from the very first mention of Gonzaps unnaturally pointy hair. Throw along every other event along the way, and we have reached the point where I almost fell down the stairs this computer is located next to from laughing so hard.

    And I can't wait for more to come...and, by the way, can I get on that PM list?
     
  7. mawile_lover1993

    mawile_lover1993 Tactics Play Trainer

    This is brilliant!!! I've always loved Colosseum, ever though I don't own my own copy of it. T_T I'd love to review all the chapters, but I'm too lazy to. So I'll just review the last one.
    Wow, perfect cover for a guy like Miror B. :D
    LOL, password! And a real original one...*sarcasm* Hooray for NPC stupidity!
    What is it with villains and their love of announcing their plans to everybody in public?
    Yay, they're growing back! Gonzap's just not Gonzap without his prized facial hair. I wonder if they'll grow back by the time Realgam Tower comes around...
    Always wondered if that Skarmory in the opening scene was Gonzap's.

    Oh boy, me thinks Nascour just jinxed himself...
    Seriously, that should be a running gag!
    Ok, that's just plain funny!

    Once again, why do the bad guys always have to shout out their plans...

    Reminds me of myself when I have too much soda.

    Magikarp FTW! I'm a battler, so I know that under the right conditions, a Flail from a Magikarp can actually OHKO someone.

    o_O Duking, what did you do to them?!

    That should be a running gag too! XD

    Tom and sober is an oxymoron. The only time that those his name and that word are together in the same sentence is when 'NOT' is in between them.

    This story is great! You managed to take a serious plot and make it freaking hilarious! I thought I was going to die of laughter. Good job! Keep those updates coming!

    PS: Can you please add me to the PM list, pretty please.
     
  8. ultimate_pokemaster

    ultimate_pokemaster Well-Known Member

    I'm impressed by the hilarity and complete randomness of all of you're chapters. I have never seen Colleseum in this type of light. I have always regarded it as a 'darker' pokemon game. This fanfiction shows the game with much more humour than the other games. I hope you continue this till the end of the game and not take the more 'mature' theme later on as most humour fics have by the end of the story. Of course, I cannot wait for the next chapter. I will continue to review this as long as it is on the first three pages of the fanfiction forum.
     
  9. swampertforever

    swampertforever Big ball o' Whims~

    Make more Make more Make more Make more Make more Make more Make more!
     
  10. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Cheers. Pity I couldn't here about the long list. Oh well. Don't worry about the delay - these things happen, and I'm a patient sort of guy. Well, kinda...
    Thanks. I advise you to move that computer however, if you nearly 'fell down the stairs'. Or move the stairs, whichever is easier. ;)
    You have been added to the PM list as well.

    Can't blame you for that. ;)

    Yes, indeed - will they grow back by then??? (Dun dun DUNNNN!)
    No, how could he have? I mean, it's not as if Wes is in his Pyrite hideout right now laying down a good-old fashioned smackdown on Ciphers goons... hang on, wait... ;)

    Thanks! And you've been added.
    I usually can only see things in a humourous light. :)
    Not sure if the 'mature' theme will be taken - but then again, if I don't, all those WesxRui fans might get said... I dunno - I haven't really thought that far in what will exactly happen even - although I'm certainly going to keep it funny.
    Thanks for the review.
    Erm... subliminal messinging much? I am thinking about doing the chapter, but school for me comes first, and after that I get strapped of time from other stuff. And I also get easier distracted...

    Oh, and this story now appears on PokeCommunities and Cave of Dragonflies. Part of my shameless attempt to amass an army of followers and use them to conquer the world with my fic. ;) Perpare to march, all! *laughs manically*

    Yes, I've had too many sweet things...
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2008
  11. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner Peace to the Mountain

    Why fighting dis on fis go?

    That does it. It's official. Tom deserves his own spin-off! 8D He's just awesome on a level all his own, seriously. Every time he appears, funny as frell moments are guaranteed, and his appearances in the latest chapter were no exception. ^^

    Very good work on the scene with Gonzap and Nascour--and I loved how what was a relatively serious scene was sprinkled with silliness here and there with more hilarity involving Gonzap's precious eyebrows. XD

    "Tyranitarrgh" = priceless. XD I frelling loved that. Rui's... unique method of letting Pokémon out of capture balls was funny in and of itself, and the fact that her choice to do that (and your choice to make her do that) resulted in both the utterance of "Tyranitarrgh" and Quagsire coming out and sayng something glorious only made it all the more awesome. XD

    Then there was the latest addition to the list of Pokémon personalities that you've come up with that I just love: the caffeinated Yanma. Very amusing creature, that. XD

    And holy cheese, Johnson achieved victory! And with a Magikarp, no less! That was glorious. Absolutely GLORIOUS. XD

    XD

    Gotta love the classic verbal incontinence of villians. XD

    Yeah, nice going there, Nore. XP

    XD

    XD Apparently, Stupid is super-effective on Psychic. XP

    I love his rendition of "The Wheels on the Bus", first of all. XD And the "Did I come at a bad time?" line is priceless. XD

    Aww, don't worry, Gonzap--I'm sure your beloved eyebrows will be back before you know it.

    And until they do, I will continue to laugh at him about them. XP

    Ha-ha, he got him good! XP

    Yes, Gonzap, good to see such skill in prioritizing as you have. Eyebrows > one's own survival. Yes.

    Good frelling frell, I am amused by this guy. XD

    A loud, strange outburst that can startle and baffle those who hear it... Holy frell, Tom knows Chatter! XD

    XD I love the image that put in my head.

    Rui's Pokémon method of releasing Pokémon is unparalleled in its awesomeness. XD And again, "Tyranitarrgh" = glorious. XD

    Ha-ha, it landed right on her head. XD And lol, I can't help but wonder if Sema actually did smell like peanuts, or if perhaps Quagsire simply doesn't know what a peanut is or what it smells like. XD

    Karpador? XD

    "Oh no!" pretty much always makes me laugh. XD And "Why fighting dis on fis go?" is my favorite line in the chapter--I still can't read it without laughing. XD

    Getting beaten by a Magikarp is indeed a very swear-worthy situation. XD

    BEST. THREAT. EVER. XD

    XD Indeed.

    XD

    Nice one, Croconaw. :D

    He says the most awesome things... XD

    Wow, talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. XD Dang, though--all those doughtnuts, ruined...

    Let us have a moment of silence for the untimely demise of the doughnuts, robbed of their potential to be delicious. ;-;

    XD Poor Makuhita. And poor door. XD

    XD

    That Yanma is awesome. XD I love the way it talks, and I love the image of it just bonking into Pokémon after Pokémon. XD

    And the addition of a cry of "Coffee!" to each bonk makes the image even funnier. XD

    XD

    Stupid is super-effective on Psychic! 8D I knew it! XD

    Wow... the poor thing actually knocked itself out. XD

    I like that you put in an explanation as to why the trainers you snag from can't just grab the ball before you do--and I love the particular explanation that you chose. XD A bonk to someone's head gets a laugh out of me nearly every time, including this time. And I love the image of the ball, seemingly with a mind of its own, moving to smack Nore right in the head. XD

    XD Nice one, Johnson and Magikarp! Also, there are two lines in that part that I love. One, "Why won't you just die!?" XD Two, "I am error!" XD

    Lol, maybe they did faint out of humiliation. XP Whatever the case may be, Johnson winning with a MAGIKARP is frelling awesome. XD

    Giant pineapple... XD

    Another of my favorite Tom quotes from that chapter. I especially love the "mrinky drink' part. XD
     
  12. BrawlMaster

    BrawlMaster Live long, & prosper

    Hello, Bobandbill, it's me Darthgroudon in disguise(I had a name change)! It's been a while. First off, you continue to amaze with your fantastic comic and wit. Secondly, you desreve to be nominated for a fanfic award. Keep it up, this story is beast!
     
  13. Divinity_123

    Divinity_123 shove 'er in! ;O

    Sorry I'm late...again ^^;;

    Yes. I deserve to be punished in the fiery depths of hell, but I shall try my best to redeem myself with a review ;D

    But first off...

    BACK OFF SIKE, TOM IS MINE, ONLY I DROOL OVER HIM >=/

    Just had to get that off my chest x3

    Now time for the highlight reel...
    I had to lol.

    ROFL Way to start off a chapter...and how original XD

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it supposed to be 'were'?

    Typical moron Johnson move XD

    ROFL

    whing what? D: did you mean whining?

    loooooooooooooooooooooooooool YAY TOM <333333333 OMG I LUFF HIM!!! ~

    XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Priceless x3
    Pineco...

    I'm going to lmao XD

    Punched the trainer in the shin? XDDDD KILLLLLLLLL DEM MAKUHITA!

    i lol'd

    OH MY FCKN GOD...no way...that's not right...quick edit it out bobandbill before more ppl read it!

    Oh you have no idea................*flops*

    You really should feel ashamed...real sad...really really sad...

    XDDDDDDD


    And once again, the incredible Johnson and his PWNsome Magikarp appear, but more important, TOM! :D BUT BUT BUT, he needed more lines, and admittedly, he was not as funny as he once was in his debut...

    I liked the conversation between Nascour and Gonzap, shows the tension between the two teams. And i loool'd when Gonzap kept on mentioning his god damned eyebrows.

    And Croconaw learns Surf (or remembers)! =3

    Forget Miror B... I CAN NOT WAIT WHEN WES GOES TO MT. BATTLE AND FITES ENTEI AND DAKIM! OMG, I WONDER WHAT THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE GOING TO BE LIKE!!!

    Anyway, yeah, great chapter, keep it up ;)

    Divinity_123 ;196;
     
  14. Night_Umbreon

    Night_Umbreon Oh god! The imagery!

    I second this. :p
     
  15. mimefan

    mimefan Banned

    What. A. Fanfic. This is hilarious. You should make a TV show based on this because if you did then the ratings will always be of the roof.
     
  16. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Cheers people for the added reviews!
    Thanks. A spin off for Tom? Hmm...
    Glad I pulled the Gonzap vs. Nascour scene off. And that you too enjoyed Magikarp's win. :)

    It is Gonzap's eyebrows, after all...
    That idea came after Jonah asked about Rui getting Pokemon - I thought 'would she know how to release Pokemon?'. Tyranitarrgh was on the spot though.

    Good point. :)
    *silence*
    That always puzzled me too - the animation was just the Pokeball shaking in the middle for the 'fight' arena... and then it would disappear..
    Hey! Another name-changer! ;)
    Glad that you've continued to like this - thanks for dropping by!.
    To punish... or not to punish... ;)
    I never imagined, when I started this fic, that there would be people fighting over a character.... and in a good way too... ;)
    Sorry - DarkPersian479 mentioned it first :p *points to DarkPersian's post*. Probably should edit it though.
    Meant whingeing... whcih means whining...
    Good to know...
    Too late. :)
    Did really focus much on him, as I didn't want to detract from the battle itself, and most of the time he was hiding away from the battle. The will be some interesting character interaction between Tom and someone else in the next chapter however...
    Thanks. :) Was wondering about that part - thanks for the added responses about it!
    Forget Miror B? Never!
    Dakim was an interesting character but...

    Thanks! Only, it would be an awfully slow TV show... and then Pokemon might sue. Nice idea but.

    One thing did get my attention:

    Wow, a spin-off? I'd admit, I'm half considering it... only not quite sure how I'd go about it if I did. Does seem to be some demend for him however... we'll see.

    As for my progress on the next chapter - thus far, very slow. :( School has taken over my life. I'll probably get more progress during the holidays when they come, but for now it's slow moving... oh well.
     
  17. auragirl

    auragirl luxray master!

    OMFG!! THIS is so much EPIC ****ING WIN!! (i only joined a few minutes before finding this! I LOVE IT!! so much win i don't know where to start! XD funny as hell mate, funny as hell! can i put that banner-link thing in my sig?
     
  18. Breeders

    Breeders bored out of my wits

    This is a very nice story, i only read the first 3 chapters on fanfiction.net but i didn't know YOU were the author of the story on both sites, COOL!
     
  19. The Black Glove

    The Black Glove The Resident BAMF

    Ah yes...there is nothing quite like a bad guy losing to a Magikarp... although the strategy you showed is about the only decent one for Magikarp. Loved Tom, and still lovin Miror. B.

    Yes, this is a lame review. So sue me.

    Could you add me to the PM list? Please?
     
  20. TheGreatRandoxy

    TheGreatRandoxy Goldikarp&3reds

    This.is.the.best

    Make the next chapter soon or i mite die!
     

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