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The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum

Gallade Dark Soul

Type: Psychic/Dark
First review EVAH! All I can say has already been said already so all I'm going to say is, BACON!!!!!!!!!!! XD
 

Error_404

Member
^Uh, random?

Anyway, been a closet reader for ages, and I would like to say very well done. I love the personality you put into the Pokémon characters.
Keep up the good work, I can't wait for the next chapter.
 
I started reading this a few weeks ago, and decided to post now that I've caught up. Its an amazing story, very very funny. Somehow, I can imagine their characters being like that, especially Rui and Umbreon. Makuhita wins as Ike, for sure. In my head, I thought of Feraligatr as Pit x3 But anyways, I started replaying the game becuase of this fic. Good job I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Put me on the PM list as well~
 

Eon Master

Born from the Flames
ROFLMAO! Oh my god, your fic is the best I've ever read. You could be a professional comedian with this kind of material.

Please add me to the PM list.
 

Gardevoir Girl

is NOT a girl
Aargh - sorry, I didn't even realize there was another chapter up. I really need to check more often.

The tune to play to summon the Celebi is ‘I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts’'

No comment.

“Espeon... Espi?” (Celebi – a legendary Psychic Pokemon! But... who’s heard of a world without Pokemon?)

“Umbreon?” (How could anyone live in such a place?)

Agreed.

“Now, I don’t really do these sorts of things, normally,” Wes began, “but I really don’t have time for this right now. “ With that, Wes stood up again and struck his leg out, punting the surprised Spheal across the cave.

Wes stared once more at the white-bodied Pokemon that possessed a green, mushroom-shaped head that looked as big as the rest of its body, and laughed.

These Cipher people are pushovers...it’s the size of my shoe!

You really must not like cute Pokemon. D: Oddly enough, Spheal was the last Pokemon I caught before reading this.

“Hiya!” the man said, stepping forward and grabbing Wes’s hand, shaking it. “I’m Enpea Sea!”

... Indeed he is.

“Umm...go, Pikachu!” Eagun said, as he reached into his beard, pulled a surprised Pikachu out, and threw it at Skrub.

That is now officially the #1 use for Pikachu. And the best way of starting a battle.

Unfortunately, everyone else has gone over everything noteworthy, and then some. So I have nothing left to do except say how much I enjoyed this. Hope to see a new chapter up soon!
 

gorgar

New Member
hey add me to the pm list please. i've read through all the posted chapters and its hilarious....i must say bravo...keep up the good work.
 
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kiogrey

RS REMAKES
Excellent work. I've never really played Colosseum, so I don't the basic storyline of the game, but I'm liking it so far! I wonder what the final battle will be like...
And also, why is it that in Colosseum, you always have to do a double battle? I know use start with two Pokemon, but what about people who only have one? Is it some sort of rule?
 
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LadyMiir

Nat. Dex COMPLETE!!!
Brilliant.

I love this story, it's -very- well done. You have a great skill for characterizing the Pokemon. And Johnson's Magikarp-- WIN. XD

*subscribes to thread*
 
Die! Die! Die!

Hey, I got an account here just so I could post on this one thread...

I pulled an all-nighter just reading all 14 chapters you had written up to this point, and it has been fun! And I mean that in the best possible way... Tom's rants are crazy fun to try to read out loud, Miror B.'s overall treatment was pretty sweet (I myself preferred his Gale of Darkness theme, though; I thought the salsa one from Colosseum was a bit cheesy; mmmm, salsa con queso), the torture scene was funny, in a morbid sort of way, and nice Bill Cosby reference in Chapter 13, by the way!

That and the absolute hilarity that is the PKMN (nobody taught me how to make accented characters, so I'm not going to try) themselves, as well as everyone's slapstick interactions with Johnson, are all I'm going to gush with praise about, for now...

I should probably annoy someone else now; keep up the good work!
 

mattman324

aka Shiny_Feraligatr
“Anything useful in there, or just gibberish about how the Relic Stone is actually a stone, chiselled by some nobody?”

“Well, admittedly, some of this info seems to be bogus... like for instance...” Rui said, flipping over some pages before seemingly finding what she was looking for. “‘Useless Fact 797: The Relic Stone can also be used as a football!’”

Wes blinked at Rui. “Am I just still too sleepy, or was the writer just a bit... eccentric?”

Rui laughed sadly, before continuing on. “‘Useless Fact 798: It’s just a stone. Useless Fact 799: You didn’t make it!’” Rui said, turning the page. “‘Useless fact 800: This is... the 800th fact about the Relic Stone!’” she read, before grimacing.


It's a football! I chiseled it.

It's a stone. You didn't make it!


“Not quite, though, Wes,” Rui said, turning to the back of the book. “There actually is something of note written here, on some page titled ‘Give me money’...”


May I have some of that money? :p

“Umbre...re...eon!” (Wazza...what’s that....arrgh!) Umbreon shouted as he opened his eyes, only to be greeted by the sight of Eagun’s face and beard.


No one can blame you, Umbreon.


“Can’t you read?” Eagun asked, disappointed over the lack of reaction. Before Umbreon or Espeon could protest, he started waving the newspaper. “I tell you what cooks my goose – newspaper headlines! It says right here ‘Specialist Claims Electric Chair Can Be ‘Extremely Painful’’! Whoever came up with the idea for an electric chair if it’s so painful then? And who needs different kinds of chairs anyway? What next, thermal chairs? Nuclear chairs? I won’t be able to decide which chair to sit in then!”


Umm... Okay then. Moving on...


“But look at this ad right here! It’s RIDICULOUS! They need to make some sign-making course! Now I at least know how to make a sign! Just look at the ones at the entrance of this town!”

“...You made those signs?” Wes asked.

“Yes. Impressive, aren’t they? The ones they tried to put up instead were terrible. Now a stop sign – that’s a sign with oomph!”


...and getting nowhere. Yippee. At least we learned the sign mystery.


“The tune to play to summon the Celebi is ‘I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts’'... wait, it suddenly went weird again...” Rui said. “Why that song?”


Because it's catchy! I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. There they are a' standing in a row. Big ones, small ones... Ok, I'll stop.


“It says some other stuff here too...such as that Celebi can also travel into other worlds – ones that don’t have any Pokemon in them? I think that’s still the random ramblings though.”

“Espeon... Espi?” (Celebi – a legendary Psychic Pokemon! But... who’s heard of a world without Pokemon?)

“Umbreon?” (How could anyone live in such a place?)


I know. It's utter madness!


“But that sounds too ridiculous,” Wes protested. “I mean, Celebi? That’s...” Wes searched for words, but struggled. “It’s...super-duper rare! More rare than a... talking Meowth!”


Just HAD to bring this up.


“I know, but it states here that this information comes from bulbap-”

Oh really?

THE INFO IS A LIE! THE INFO IS A L-*shot*
 

murkrowrob

Yamask Hugger x_x
First review EVAH! All I can say has already been said already so all I'm going to say is, BACON!!!!!!!!!!! XD

uh, ok???
omg loved reading this (and i generally hate reading), ur a gr8 writer, loved espeon and umbreon's personalities and the fact u made them characters in their own rights and if u havnt done so already, a remake of XD would be amazing too.
 

bobandbill

Winning Smile
Staff member
Super Mod
Chapter up!

And after months of procrastination and school, I return on a pogo stick and with a new chapter in hand.

FIRST off - replies to these reviews I really should have replied to ages ago. =/ Sorry for making you wait and all. See the next post for that (Darn character limits).

OK THEN. Time for the chapter. As a quick reminder of what went down the previous chapter -
Wes and Rui saved the Relic Stone from a small gang of Cipher memebers, notably a man called Skrub who was run out of town upon his defeat (by an angry town throwing Pikachu at him, no less). The Relic Stone is discovered to purify Shadow Pokemon at the endt, as demonstrated as Croconaw and Makuhita becoming normal Pokemon again, and Croconaw evolves into Feraligatr upon purification.

Plenty of thanks to Chris_the_Com for beta-reading this with the power of awesome faces. (Also to some guy called Rowan). =P Enjoy!

***​

Chapter 15 – The Battle of Battles At... Mt Battle



The group slowly made their way to the Pokemon Centre by the top of the hill sloping down to the Relic Stone forest. Feraligatr had already become somewhat more accustomed to his new form, no longer tripping over or stumbling while he walked.

“Umbreon...Umbre!” (About time you got the hang of walking again – I’ve had enough of you falling on me!)

“Croc-Fe, Feraligatr,” (Jumbo jets- err, I mean, I said I was sorry, you old slowcoach,) Feraligatr replied with a grin after mixing up his words.

“Umb!? Umbre- eon!” (Slowcoach!? I hardly think that you can call me- hey, wait up!) Umbreon cried at the group, realising they were well ahead of him. As he caught up, Feraligatr shot him another cheeky grin, which Umbreon pretended to ignore.

“Oh good, you caught up,” Wes said absentmindedly, further adding to Umbreon’s frustrations with Feraligatr. “Anyway...Rui, this is really fantastic. Looks like we’ve now found a cure for the Shadow Pokemon.”

“I know! All we have to do is cure them some more, then have them visit the Relic Stone, and we’re done! Maybe only a few more weeks, if that!”

“True, true,” Wes pondered. “Oh hey, it’s Yanma,” he added, spotting Yanma’s tail poking out of a bin.

“Yanyanyanyanmamamamama!” (Oh-dear-I’m-stuck-oh-well-it-was-tasty-coffee-hey-look-a profiterole!) the Yanma squealed nonsensically inside. Wes grabbed his Pokeball and recalled the nuisance, and then followed Rui as the mechanical doors of the Pokemon Centre slid open with a clang allowing them to step inside.

“Oh, you’re back,” Eagun greeted the two, grabbing both by the arms and shaking them with glee. “That was fantastic battling, Wes! You saved the Relic Stone, and now you can help those silhouette Pokemon of yours.”

“Shadow Pokemon,” Rui said.

“Whatever,” Eagun said, as Rui returned the Pokemon to their Pokeballs and handed them to the assistant behind a counter. “We drove that nasty lot out of town, at any rate. Some are now busy retrieving their Pikachu – a good dozen or so ended up in a tree, it appears – and some are tending to Duncan’s poor, poor lawn. Those flowers... they’ll never be the same,” Eagun sniffed.

“...There there,” Wes consoled Eagun uneasily.

“Could you please heal our Pokemon? They’re a bit tired since they were fighting to save this stone, you see.”

“...Stone?” the man said.

“Yep. It helps make the Shadow Pokemon happy and all, although I don’t really get how it can be used as a football...” she added, glancing at her book on the Relic Stone and shrugging. She then returned to Wes and Eagun, leaving the assistant scratching his head.

“Hey, we better tell Sherles about this,” Rui said.

“Good idea... I’ll send him an e-mail and wait for him to reply – we’ve got the whole day ahead of us to wait for that.” Pulling out his P*DA, Wes quickly typed up a message and hit send.

“Pity we’ve got so many Shadow Pokemon to purify – we’ve only done two after all, and even with them helping out in Pyrite, it might take a while, especially if more Shadow Pokemon are found...I guess we could always use some more help.”

“I could help!” Eagun offered, smiling brightly.

“...Um, yeah, sure,” Wes said, unsure if Eagun’s ways would terrify some of the Shadow Pokemon or not.

Suddenly a woman walked into the building, and started shouting, waving her arms in the air like a drowning swimmer desperate for attention. “Right, the Day Care Service needs clients! Who wants to give us money to take care of your Pokemon and make sure of their well-being and happiness?”

“Well, that was quick,” Rui said quietly.

“Indeed. Pity she said ‘who wants to give us money’...” Wes sighed, before catching Rui’s frown. “Ok, ok, I was kidding,” he continued, motioning for the woman to come, glad that Espeon was being healed so that he couldn’t mention that he hadn’t been joking.

“Oh, you’re interested?” the woman said, gleaming as she eyed Wes’s wallet.

Oh great, someone else who seems to like money as much as me, Wes thought grimly. “Firstly, may I ask a few questions? Such as the place, and so forth...?”

“Wes!” Rui hissed. “Just give her the money and Pokemon already.”

Wes winced. “But... shouldn’t we find out some more first about where we’re putting these Pokemon? I’m not exactly one to trust a complete stranger... Are you, Rui?”

“...Yeah, you’re right. Odd, I just thought for a moment that the Day Care centre would be completely trustworthy.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that,” the woman said quickly. “We have respectable grounds – lots of, um.... grass! Yes, grass. Also...” she struggled. “We have...air! Lots of healthy air.”

“That’s...nice, I suppose?” Rui said slowly.

“Actually, maybe you should take a look at the grounds for yourself? We’re also a certified Day Care service. It’s got a stamp and everything,” she added, pulling out a piece of paper. Wes glanced at it – it had the words ‘Day Care Service No 34’, and a stamp with the word ‘APPROVED’ encircling an awesome face.

“Sounds good to me,” Wes said finally. “We’ll go take a look in a moment. How many Pokemon can you take, by the way?”

“Oh, well, we have space for four large Pokemon, but we’re currently only taking one at a time now, so your Pokemon has plenty of space!”

“Back up a second – why only one?” Wes asked, frowning.

“Oh... well, a while back we had a few problems. There were these two Pokemon, you see, who weren’t getting along with each other.”

“I see – just trying to keep the Pokemon happy, fair enough,” Rui said.

“No, there’s more... the next morning when I went to check on them there were a number of strange oval-shaped rocks about the place. Most unusual.”

“Odd. Do you know where they came from?”

“No, but this phenomenon only happens when we have more than one Pokemon with us. We even had one of them sent to this really fancy-pants professor. Elm or something. He seemed confused by it too, though when we told him about it so he got started on examining it... and then that story started about how he went insane, so we never found out about his findings. ”

You’re kidding me, Wes thought. Clearly those were eggs, and this eluded a Pokemon Professor? I’m betting he realised though when it hatched, and… that’s what made him go crazy, like those newspapers had reported? Oh boy.

“We had to have the owners of the Pokemon take them away because the neighbours started complaining. Something about how they can’t sleep at night and that the rocks were too spotty for their liking.” The Day-Care woman shrugged. “It gives a bad reputation for some reason, so it’s a new rule. It's along with the 'No giving the Pokemon candy' , and the 'Strictly, under no circumstances, are Wailord allowed' rule.”

“Wow, what a mystery!” Rui said.

“Yeah,” Eagun interjected. “We never could figure out where those rocks came from. The best theory going around is that they came from Clefairy from the moon. I don’t really like that idea, but then again, you just can’t trust those Clefairy. Crafty buggers, they are.”

Wes facepalmed himself, groaning slightly. What’s wrong with this entire region? It’s like they all swallowed daft pills at birth or something...

“It’s one of two mysteries this town has,” Eagun continued.

“Oh? What’s the other one?” Rui asked.

“The Pikachu, of course. It was some time after another bunch of those rocks appeared – only one day, they were gone, and all of these Pichu were running about eating all of the trees, or so the story goes. And that’s why we have so many Pikachu now.”

“Any idea where they came from?” Rui asked. Eagun shook his head.

“Wes... are you alright?” Rui asked, noticing Wes continue to facepalm himself some more while muttering a word to himself with each one.

“Why. Is. Everyone. So... oh... um, never mind, I’m just...tired,” Wes said tiredly, giving up.

“Me too,” Rui said, yawning louder. “It’s tired, and I’m early...”

“You don’t say,” Wes acknowledged.

“Ahem,” the woman said, still eyeing Wes’s wallet. “Shall we go and let you check out the place, then?”

“Oh, fine. We’ll come... in a second, gotta look at this first,” Wes said, as his P*DA began beeping, indicating Sherles had sent a reply to his e-mail. “Eagun, it looks like the Pokemon are healed up as well – could you get them for us, please?”

“No problem,” Eagun said, moving towards the assistant.

“Hello. Your Pokemon are restored to their full health. We hope to see you.” A pause followed, before the assistant looked at a small palm card in his hand. “Again. Arrgh, I keep forgetting what to say...” he mumbled, as Eagun took the Pokeballs and walked back to Wes and Rui.

“Oh, it’s a live call actually,” Wes said, taking the P*DA and holding the large, clunky device it next to his ear.

“Oh good – you can tell him more about the good news then,” Rui beamed, as the Day Care woman sighed and moved towards the door, choosing her vantage point well so she could still admire Wes’s wallet.

“I don’t think we’re out of the woods yet though...” Wes said darkly. “Cipher’s still active, for one. For instance, Cipher did just make that attack on the Relic Stone – they’re probably going to try to attack this place again, or try something else.”

“We could always build a fort,” Eagun suggested.

“Out of what?” Wes countered, still waiting for a connection with Sherles.

“Good question... the Pikachu, maybe?”

“...I think we’re better off just asking Sherles to send some of the Police force that came to Orre to come and help out over here,” Wes said. “Oh, here we go! Hello, Sherles. Did you get our message?”

Sherles’ unmistakable gruff voice crackled through the P*DA. “We sure did. You sure we can purify the Shadow Pokemon properly now?”

“Yes, positive!” Rui shouted into the P*DA.

“Rui, not so loud. My ear is there as well...” Wes said, wincing.

“Oh...sorry.”

“Good work, then,” Sherles continued. “I trust you’ll be wanting to celebrate... however, we’ve got a bit of a problem. You see... we got an anonymous tip-off, that said that Cipher are about to attack a man named Vander.”

“Vander? Who’s he?” Rui asked worriedly. “And why are they interested in him?”

“We’re not sure. Our records of Vander state that he’s an Area Leader of Mt Battle – it’s a place where trainers test their Pokemon in a 100-battle challenge, to try to get to the top of the mountain. It’s rather dangerous, apparently... Vander also likes to boast about some Time Flute of his. It’s drawn unwanted attention to him in the past, so it seems going by this record...”

“A Time Flute?” Wes asked. “That sounds kinda familiar...”

“I know what it is!” Rui shouted. “Sorry,” she added, seeing Wes wince once more at her shouting at his ear. “But it was in this book, remember?” She quickly turned a couple of pages, before reading.

“‘According to ancient lore, the Relic Stone holds blah blah...It is said that Celebi can blah blah blah...’ basically purify Pokemon, I suppose, like the Relic Stone... Ah, here we go. ‘To meet it however, you must use an item called the ‘Time Flute’ which is all that one needs to bring Celebi to the Relic Forest.’”

“So they mean to take the item which can summon Celebi,” Wes concluded. “Well, that sucks.”

“Quite,” Sherles said quietly. “We also know that they’re preparing to make an attack on Vander as we speak. It’s going to happen at Mt Battle itself, and it’s to happen in a few hours.”

“In a few hours, an attack on someone at Mt Battle is going to occur?” another voice asked suddenly through Sherles’ end of the conversation.

“Who the hell are you?” Sherles barked. “Get out of here! Johnson, do you have a reason for letting this interviewer in when I specifically told you to not let anybody in?”

“But this guy said he was somebody, so I thought it’d be ok...” Johnson began. Rui and Wes exchanged glances.

“You idiot! Now everyone will know and we’ll have interviewers jumping at the scene. I just know it,” Sherles said tiredly.

“Interesting information – who would give it though?” Wes interrupted.

“Maybe a disgruntled employee or something,” Sherles said. “It frequently happens – probably someone not paid enough or something stupid like that. At any rate, we’ve sent a task force to deal with them, and another to Vander’s home just in case. Andrew’s in charge of them and despite his obvious disgruntlement with this whole thing he should be capable, but I’d like you to go and see if you can help out. Just head to Mt Battle, and hopefully there’s nothing behind this. I’m thinking otherwise, though.”

“Ok, Sherles, I’m on my way there,” Wes said, closing his P*DA and terminating the call. He sat down for a moment, rubbing his head in his arms.

“I hate it when I’m right,” Wes finally said. “Cipher’s just going to keep attacking us, and we’re going to have to keep defending, and they’ll tire us out and we’ll all be very very...I don’t know, sad,” he concluded.

“You really are tired, aren’t you?” Rui said with a weak smile.

“I guess. Oh well. I’ll take some coffee with me or something. In which case, I’ll be keeping Yanma in his Pokeball then... anyway, I’m off. You stay behind-”

“No, I’m coming,” Rui said quickly. “There could be Shadow Pokemon there, and...”

‘Ok, fine,” Wes conceded. Hmm, I gave in rather easily... eh. Wouldn’t mind someone to talk to – it’s a few hours drive or something to get there, I think, and we do need her seeing ability, I guess. “Just...be careful.”

“Will you be fine?” Eagun said worriedly.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got Wes to protect me!” Rui said positively, hugging Eagun quickly as Wes shuffled uneasily on the spot. Meanwhile, the woman waiting stepped forward.

“Aren’t we going to check out the centre, or...”

“I’m sorry – we’ll give you your money soon enough – we’ve got to run-” Wes said irritably, before noticing Rui zip out of the room, yelling ‘Onwards to justice, Wes!’ As Wes shrugged, and ran towards the door himself, she reappeared, looking sheepish.

“Um, Eagun... which way is Mt Battle, anyway?”

Eagun quietly pointed through a window, towards a grey, giant mountain, sitting in plain view from where they sat.

“Oh. Thanks. Let’s go, Wes!” Rui said. The two grabbed their bags and Pokeballs and ran out, ignoring the citizens of Agate village who began asking them for a handshake or help with retrieving their Pikachu, running over the bridge by the town’s entrance, and jumping into the Zoomer.

“Right, let’s go – we may not have much time,” Wes said, gunning the engine as it came to life noisily.

“DISHWASHERS! BUY ONE AND GET ONE AT A SLIGHTLY REDUCED PRICE!” it blazed, as the radio also came back on.

“Arrgh!” Wes cried, covering his ears. “I forgot about that...”


***

Behind a small hill of jagged, dusty rocks, a small contingent of Cipher agents stood in a row, looking up at the giant man before them. Behind them, the entrance to the Mt Battle facility stood – the location of their target. They had never worked with the large man before – all they knew was that he had been highly rated by Master Nascour, who had scouted him out as a fantastic muscle-man, or hit-man, so to speak. It wasn’t hard to see why – the red-haired Master Dakim easily towered over them all, built like a Rhydon.

Unfortunately it appeared he also had the attention span and brains of one, never seeming to be one to care about the job at hand. Not to mention, his outfit was rather unusual - not many walked about the desert in a karate gi.

“He was a great man. Yes, he sure was. He taught the man who taught the other guy, who taught the other guy who taught me the art of fighting, man!” Dakim said, beaming enthusiastically at the group.

“Excuse me...” one piped up.

“Quiet, you. He basically invented the art of fighting, he did, and I think he knows a little bit more about it than you do, man!”

“Oh dear, here we go again... I hate this story,” the Cipher grunt muttered to the one next to him in annoyance.

“Then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal,” Dakim continued, grabbing two small rocks and miming them as animals. “And then he put them on a boat, and then he beat the heck out of them, man!”

“Yeah, totally cool, keep talking about your stupid make-believe story,” the man continued to whisper. “Seriously, I hope he can fight as well as how badly he thinks, for if that’s the case then I might forgive Master Nascour for lumping him with us.”

“And that’s why they call it a zoo!” Dakim declared, pausing for effect. “Unless it’s a farm!” he added. “Ok, let me ask you a question. Now, does anyone think they can beat me in a fight?”

The annoyed and talkative Cipher grunt raised his hand up irritably, and got promptly hit on the head by one of Dakim’s oversized fists.

“Wrong! None can defeat me! See?” Dakim pointed out, as the man slumped to the ground.

“Um... Master Dakim?” another said, uneasily eyeing his fallen comrade. “With all due respect, it probably would be a better idea to go over the battle plan, rather than telling us stories and asking us questions unrelated to the plan... and knocking us out, I might add,” he finished quietly. Dakim flashed a wide grin at this – the grunt smiled back worriedly, wondering if Dakim was going to knock him out too.

“Good thinking, soldier! I like a good thinker – I can appreciate that, man. You see, I may not be smart, but I sure can lift up heavy objects!”

“...I’m sure you can,” the grunt replied, unable to keep his eyes away from Dakim’s large and menacing arms.

“Just for that, I’m going to promote you to... Super-Admin!”

“Isn’t that, if such a rank does exist, that is, a higher rank than yourself?” the grunt asked.

“Good point. I’m...going to have to demote you now. Sorry. Now about our plan... Oh, I know. How about this – you go in, and start attacking people with your Pokemon, and I’ll go in and punch stuff, man! Then I’ll find that guy and get that Space Saxophone off of him, and we’ll go back!”

“Time Flute,” another corrected.

“Whatever. Some sort of musical...sound maker thingy. Sound like a good plan, man?”

All of the grunts nodded, happy that Dakim was happy and not hitting them. After all, they probably didn’t need a complex plan for this anyway – it was a pure hit, grab and run operation, and there didn’t seem to be any point arguing with him at any rate.

“Um... may I ask a question, Master Dakim?” one asked quietly. When Dakim nodded, he continued. “I can see you have Pokemon of your own...” he said, pointing to the necklace of Pokeballs Dakim was wearing, “but are you going to use them?” Dakim laughed heartily, and slapped the guy on the back lightly, which caused him to start gasping for breath.

“I don’t think I’ll need them for this job! I usually save them for opponents I deem worthy – for the rest, I’ll just use my fists, man,” he grinned, as he glanced around. “All right, men – you can go on – I’ll be around in a second.” With that, Dakim took a few strides forwards in the wrong direction towards the dead remains of a cactus about as large as himself, the vast majority of the spikes usually found on them gone missing bar on the ‘arms’ of the plant, and began uprooting it.

The grunts stood and stared, dumb-folded.

“Yeah... maybe... we should...move in before he starts hitting us with that for being too slow,” one suggested quietly. The rest agreed, running towards Mt Battle.

***

Meanwhile, a large convoy of cars pulled up by the Mt Battle reception area, from which policeman began pouring out of. The policeman Andrew sighed, getting out of one of the convoy cars they had been sent in to combat Cipher, only to immediately have a gust of wind blow, the sand attacking his face.

“Bleh,” he managed, spitting out some of the grains. Lovely place, this is, he thought drily to himself. Nothing but sand, sand, and more sand. Oh, and those boulders over there.

“Looks like that’s the entrance to Mt Battle,” another said, pointing behind Andrew. It stood out from the rest – suddenly the yellow, gritty sand turned into patches of disorganised green and black to resemble a poorly-made garden, with a pathway intersecting and a few benches scattered about, one right in the middle of a pathway for some unknown reason. Behind it, a small, simple building stood – it was the reception area for the place. Behind it, the ashen-coated mountain towered, the top part disappearing into some low-lying clouds, with glowing bright-orange lava visible from beyond, indicting roughly where the top was – it was well known in Orre that Mt Battle was actually an active volcano. A man was jogging around the place, and upon noticing the sudden arrival of the police contingent, ran over.

“What’s going on? Is anything the matter?” he asked worriedly, while still jogging on the spot.

“Oh good – nothing to worry about yet,” Andrew said loudly to the rest, before turning back to the jogger – it appeared all was fine for the moment. “Well, we have reason to believe that there may be some trouble heading over here, so we’re here to prevent that if anything happens... um, could you stop running like that?” he added irritably.

“I would,” the jogger replied, “but I was hungry so I ate something I found and now I think if I stop running, I’ll die!” With that the man ran off and started running around a patch of grass again.

Andrew shook his head. How stupid can this region get? “Well... looks like we’ve just got to wait. Nothing will probably come from this tip-off and we’ve come all this way for nothing,” he spat, sitting down on a bench. It started creaking loudly in protest, causing Andrew to stand up quickly, afraid it would break.

Stupid region. It’s all so...stupid, Andrew decided with a sigh. Too much sand, nothing to do, and it is rifled with criminal activity. Bah, why did all of the criminal gangs these days have to have aspirations for world domination, seriously? Couldn’t they just go for something less dangerous once in a while, such as trying to eat everyone’s berries from their trees, or aiming to steal everyone’s left shoe?

...no, that’d be rather problematic. I like my left shoes.

I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them. No, I’d have had my holiday with my family back home. I had my plan all set up – five weeks in the sun, drinking... something nice, I suppose. And it would have worked as well, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids, Wes and what’s-her-face.

Andrew frowned some more, his face beginning to resemble a scowl Geodude tended to have whenever someone stepped on them when they were sleeping. Oh, sure, it’s not like it’s all that bad that by the end of this Pokemon will stop being made in Shadow Pokemon, and crime could cease in this forsaken place – goodness knows how long Orre has suffered in silence - but if that guy hadn’t had the bright idea to stand up and do something by blowing up that building, then I wouldn’t be over here, away from home standing in the middle of the desert!

It sucked how things seemed to always affect me for the worse. Worst of all, that fool Johnson keeps talking to me, as if he was told to or something. At least Sherles seems to be able to get a handle on things, but Johnson? If I ever hear him talking about how powerful his Magikarp is, or asking me if I knew where milk came from, I’ll...

Suddenly, a gang of people emerged into view from behind a hill of rocks only a few hundred metres away from them. They were all clad in purple, and were heading straight for them – suddenly though, they stopped, noticing the police force.

Both groups looked at each silently, the only noise coming from the footsteps of the jogger, and the howling wind blowing up sand in-between the two.

“It’s Cipher! Get them!” Andrew shouted suddenly, as he and his convey charged forward and threw a large number of Pokeballs at the ground ahead.

“No, we’re innocent!” a woman from the group cried as the police force’s Pokemon materialised, mostly comprising of Growlithe and Arcanine, dog-like Pokemon which began growling furiously, priming themselves for battle, with a few Psychic Pokemon such as Kadabra amongst the group. “We didn’t do nothing legal. I mean, illegal!”

Andrew frowned, and then put up a hand to show the others to wait for a moment. “Then who are you?”

“We’re a fundraising group for charity! We sell cookies!” she added, waving boxes in the air clearly marked ‘Cookies – Buy One To Raise Funds For The Defenceless Magikarp’ in large letters.

“Oh,” Andrew finally acknowledged.

Suddenly, another group emerged behind the charity group, also clad in purple, singing a chant as they approached.

“We are Cipher, we are here, something something we like beer! Gonna go kick up a fuss, all your base are belong to us...” they sung, before trailing off into silence, noticing the Police force.

“Oh, bugger,” one of them added quietly. ‘I told Dakim we should have saved the singing for later...”

“Ok, that’s Cipher!” Andrew cried. “GET THEM!” With that, the charge resumed, the army of police Pokemon moving in, while the Cipher agents grabbed their own Pokeballs and chucked them as well, their own Pokemon quickly joining in the fight. Noticing they were in the middle of the beginning battle, the charity group screamed and ran for cover, frantically throwing cookies about to try and protect themselves.

“Organise yourselves, men!” Andrew bellowed. “Get your Pokemon into formation! Psychic Pokemon, move to the rear and begin those defence fields – Reflect and Light Screen, now! Growlithe and Arcanine, charge forward and begin with Heat Wave!”

“Kill them all!” shouted one of the Cipher grunts bluntly. Their Pokemon met the oncoming wave of red, as the Growlithe and Arcanine began firing off Heat Wave attacks.

“Now focus on taking down one Pokemon at a time!” Andrew commanded. Everyone else began shouting commands to the psychic Pokemon, who took part of their focus off the barrier of light they were creating to convey the commands clearly to each Pokemon, organising them into a dangerous pack.

Andrew smiled. Looks like this will be over quickly – as the Heat Wave attacks hit each other as well as our opponents, their fire attacks will merely get stronger thanks to their Flash Fire ability! I do love a good strategy, he thought to himself, observing Cipher’s Pokemon begin to crumble under the siege of fire. The mass of red would converge onto a Pokemon and take it down, while the others had trouble fighting back, as the heat generated by the group made it nigh impossible for a direct approach to be made.

“Doesn’t anyone of us have a water Pokemon!?” a Cipher grunt cried in anguish, watching his Pokemon fall, as Andrew’s grin grew.

“The guy who Dakim knocked out did, I believe...” another replied.

Then he frowned. From behind the group, a large figure appeared – unlike the rest, he was clad in white – they looked like pyjamas. He was far away, but strangely he seemed almost double the height of the rest as he came closer, if not more. It was almost as more startling as the fact that he appeared to be wielding a cactus.

What the hell? Andrew thought.

A Growlithe also took notice of the man, and charged at him, but he only smiled.

“Aha! Some action! I always like a good fight,” he bellowed, before using the cactus like a baseball bat, hitting the Growlithe into the air back the way it came, as it yelped in surprise.

Oh my god! He swatted that Growlithe like a toy!

Suddenly the tide turned – the Cipher agents seemed to gain confidence with the man’s arrival and began fighting back, as he walked right through the battle, swinging the cactus.

“Quick, focus your attacks on him!” Andrew decided, realising the newcomer was an unusual threat. The Psychic Pokemon dropped their wall and began hurriedly sending messages to the rest of them before beginning.

“Have your Pokemon make it easier for me, men!” Dakim shouted, and they responded, throwing themselves against the new concentrated wave of canines, who suddenly found themselves on the back foot as Dakim moved forward.

“Oh look, there’s the entrance,” Dakim suddenly announced, and with that he broke into a run, catching everyone unawares by bursting toward through the defence line. With the barriers down he had no trouble running past, and as the rest of Cipher’s Pokemon pushed forward, the Psychic Pokemon found themselves under pressure, having to abandon any plan to contain Dakim.

This can’t be possible...suddenly some giant came here and is fighting against our Pokemon with a cactus, and is winning? Have I gone mad? Andrew wondered to himself, in-between shouting orders at his Pokemon. And that sound... who’s that shouting in the background? Very faintly, he could hear....advertisements?

DISHWASHERS! IF YOU HAVENT BOUGHT ONE YET, YOU MUST BE MAD! MAYBE NOT AS MAD AS THE MAD HATTER BECAUSE HE’S JUST MAD! BUT YOU’LL BE CRAZY NOT TO BUY OUR CHICKEN-FLAVOURED DISHWASHERS!”

Yep, I’ve gone mad, Andrew thought to himself. Oh well. He turned around, and scowled – a vehicle was approaching the battle, which was blazing ads of all things. Within it was that annoying guy in blue, and the girl who could see whether a Pokemon was Shadow or not. Right, this is just too strange. Why the hell are they here!

“We’re here to help!” the girl cried, frantically throwing out Pokeballs at people. “Go hit them... and stuff!” Rui ordered, as new Pokemon joined the fight.

Well, that’s useful, I suppose... but why is she wearing pyjamas here? Chibi-Pokemon-patterned ones at that?

“Hey, look at that...” the girl said slowly, pointing to the large cactus-wielding person, as Wes slammed the brakes and hopped out of the Zoomer.

“Yikes... he’s a giant... and he’s heading towards the entrance there! We better follow him, although if it came down to it I doubt we could stop him... C’mon, Rui!” he said, running off. “Go and punch everyone you can see, Makuhita!” he added, tossing a Pokeball which landed at Andrew’s feet, Makuhita springing forth.

“Wes, why are there cookies on the ground?” Rui yelled as they ran.

“No idea!” he shouted back.

“Maku!” (Can do!) Makuhita cried, before he turned around and punched Andrew in the gut.

“Not me – I’m on your side, idiot!” Andrew gasped, doubling over. Makuhita frowned.

“Mahuhita. Maku – HITA!” (He said ‘punch everyone you can see’. I can see you – so DIE!) Makuhita reasoned, punching Andrew again before running off to attack everyone else.

***

Dakim calmly strode up the steps and ducked his head so he would fit through the door into the building, ignoring the jogger outside who stared at his size. He quickly surveyed the room – only a few people were in the room, with a nurse manning the healing machine to the left who seemed to have awoken from her slumber when he arrived. Noticing another door straight in front of him with a sign stating it led to the challenge area for Mt Battle, he moved onwards, pushing aside the man who stood there and went in, walking right through the closed door.

“Oi! You need to register before going there! Why the hell did you break our door? We paid good money to have that installed, you know!” the nurse snapped. “Get back here, you deaf oaf! No cacti are allowed – it’s against the rules!” Meanwhile, Wes and Rui burst in.

“Man...he’s... fast... where did he go...” Wes panted, also looking around. The nurse quietly pointed to the door, and Wes began again, running through with Rui close behind.

“Hey! Don’t you two go running off as well without filling out this form!” she shouted, but to no avail. “Bloody people these days, don’t they ever know to follow the rules? And why the hell is it so noisy outside, anyway?” she said to herself, moving to the window to peer outside. “Oh, for goodness sakes...” she opened it and hollered out.

“Look, I know you all like to practise and all, but keep it down, will you? Some of us are trying to sleep here!” With that, she retired to her desk with a scowl.

Wes proceeded onwards through a long corridor, grabbing two Pokeballs and sending out Espeon and Umbreon.

“Umbreon...” (Something tells me we’re no longer in Agate...) Umbreon said, breaking into a quick run to keep up with Wes.

“Espeon,” (You don’t say,) Espeon responded dryly before running himself, while focusing his powers on Wes’ thoughts and relaying them to Umbreon so they knew what was going on.

“Umbre, Umbreon- Umb?” (Right, we’re chasing a giant man with a cactus to stop him stealing a Time Flute from a guy called Vander- wait, what?) Umbreon said.

“I’m guessing you already found out why... we’re here, huh?” Wes said, still a bit lost for breath. “Well, it’s certainly true, so don’t go about thinking I’m crazy... look, there he is!” Wes shouted, pointing at Dakim as they rounded a corner, who seemed to be out of the corridor, outside and approaching a person standing on a circular platform.

As they came towards the end of the corridor, Rui gasped at the sight before them. The pathway narrowed, only extending every so often whenever it reached a large circular platform – but the main feature of the place was that it was impossibly suspended several feet in the air above the foot of the mountain, the platforms kept up by a giant propeller spinning rapidly underneath.

“How the...” Wes began, before catching sight of a sign by the end of the corridor.


PLEASE BE MINDFUL OF THE PLATFORMS – NO RUNNING OR BREAKDANCING PERMITTED

BE CAREFUL NOT TO LET YOUR POKEMON FALL DOWN – HAVE YOUR POKEBALLS AT THE READY SO YOU CAN RECALL THEM

Thinking about how the platforms stay up in the air is severely discouraged.


“Umb, Umbreon...” (I’m sorry, my mind already broke...) Umbreon said, gazing at the infrastructure and then at the gray, jagged rocks of Mt Battle below them.

“Espeon...” (This confuses even me...) Espeon admitted, before they continued forward after Dakim, who was currently talking to the man on the first spacious platform.

“Hello, and welcome to the Mt Battle challenge...” the young boy on the platform began, stopping when he looked up and saw Dakim, who was currently comparing the boy’s face with a photograph.

“I don't think I'll need this any more," Dakim declared, throwing away his cactus before pulling out a photograph with a name written on it. “Are you the first area leader of this place, first name ‘Vander’, second name... what does that say?” Dakim asked, trying to read out the surname.

“You’re...big,” the boy responded.

“...nah, man – you look too fat,” Dakim concluded, before grinning.

“Hey – I’m not fat-” the boy began.

“If you’re not, then show me your moves!” Dakim challenged. As the boy looked back at Dakim blankly, Dakim suddenly brought his fist back, and threw it forward.

“You’re too slow! Out of my way! DAKIM PAWWUNCH!” Dakim yelled, connecting with his punch before running onwards.

“Holy...” Wes said. “He just... Espeon, do something!” Wes said, as the boy went into the air.

“Help! I’m flyinggggggggggg!” he cried.

“Espeon!” (I’m on it!) Espeon said, making use of his Psychic powers to stop the boy from moving any closer towards the edge of the platform, lowering him down gently.

“He’s just going up and punching random strangers! How can he?” Rui wailed, feeling helpless about the situation. Meanwhile, Dakim’s voice bellowed from the next platform.

“Is your name Vander?” Dakim asked of the next person.

“No, it isn’t. First, you have to battle me, because it’s the rules,” he added as Dakim turned to leave. Dakim turned around at that, and grinned.

“DAKIM KICK!” Dakim shouted, this time kicking the person.

Squarely in the face.

“YES!” Dakim said, proud of his strength, moving onwards as the other man fell down, luckily staying on his platform as well.

“Whoever designed this places deserves to be shot, seriously,” Wes muttered as they desperately ran forward, trying to catch up to Dakim, who was at the third platform. Luckily, the person there had noticed his actions, and had caught on.

“Don’t hurt me! Vander is on platform ten!” he cried, before sprinting past Dakim and Wes’ group back to the reception area.

“Thanks, man!” Dakim shouted back, before noticing his pursuers. “Hmm, I better get a move on...” With that, Dakim took a run up, and jumped a gap to the next platform, leaving Wes and Rui to gasp in awe.

“Great, it turns out we’re chasing after Spiderman,” Wes commented dryly. I don’t think even a professional long-jumper would be able to clear that gap with ease...and now he has a clear lead on us. Great.

“Umbreon,” (Man, imagine if I dropped an egg off from here,) Umbreon muttered.

“Esp.” (Shut up.)

“Umbreon, umb-” (But seriously, if I dropped an egg from here, it’d just go ‘SPLAT’, just like that-)

“Espeon! Esp!” (I said SHUT UP! Or you’ll go splat!) Espeon warned.

The group and Dakim moved forward, approaching the tenth platform as everyone else evacuated, careful to avoid Dakim and stay out of his way. A mere two minutes later, Dakim had reached the tenth platform, to meet a lone figure, while the rest were hurriedly following, only at the eighth one.

“This was the tenth...no, wait, ninth. Wait... what number platform is this?” Dakim asked, scratching his head. “Oh, I see,” he added, noticing the large number ‘10’ written onto the tiling of the platform. “Is your name Vander?” Dakim begin, again taking a look at the photograph he had in his hand.

“Yes, I am. I mean, yes, it is,” Vander confirmed, quickly but quietly. He was of a small frame, and looked up at Dakim uneasily, observing his muscles and martial art attire.

“Ok. Now, hand over the Money Piano,” Dakim demanded, holding out one hand.

“...I think you mean the Time Flute?” Vander said, confused.

“Whatever, man. I’m kinda in a rush here, so please hand it over,” Dakim said with a smile. “Otherwise, I may have to punch you, and I don’t really like punching people if I can avoid it... the two who did were too slow, and as I said, I’m in a rush.”

“Yes... well... unfortunately, I don’t believe I have it here.”

“...what? That’s not allowed. You’re meant to have it here,” Dakim complained, as Wes and Rui finally caught up, careful to keep their distance for the moment to catch their breath and observe the conversation.

“It’s... at home, you see,” Vander said. “I’m not about to take such a precious item here every time I come for battles, you know...”

“I guess you have a point...” Dakim said.

“And by now there would probably be a police presence there too,” Vander added nervously. “I gather that’s why all those police sirens were blazing only some minutes ago outside of here... so if we can talk this out calmly-”

“No calm talking! Only rage!” Dakim shouted. “DAKIM PAWWUNCH!” he yelled, once again raising his arms and punching out.

“Espeon, use Reflect!” Wes ordered, as Espeon quickly summoned up a shimmering barrierin front of Vander -

- only for Dakim’s punch to go straight through it as if it hadn’t been there at all, and connect with Vander’s chest. He gasped, and then fell down.

“No!” Rui shouted, unsure whether to go and help or not. Dakim then turned around and observed the newcomers.

“Umbreon!” (Oh no, the man knows Brick Break!)

“Don’t worry, lady,” he said softly. “It’s nothing bad, actually – my punch merely struck him so that he would have trouble breathing. He’ll feel better in a while... but if you rather not...hey, I know you!” Dakim cried, noticing Wes who took a frightened step back.

“Look, I don’t want to fight you or anything-” Wes began.

“Umbreon!” (Yes, we have to go... um, buy a dishwasher!) Umbreon exclaimed hurriedly, not noticing that the advertising from the Zoomer’s radio had affected him.

“You’re Wes, man! The guy who blew up Team Snagem! Man, that must have been cool!” Dakim then struck out a hand, offering Wes a handshake.

Wes blinked. “Umm...”

“No, it’s ok! Anyone that could have made Master Nascour fret about so much has my respect! You’ve made yourself quite the worthy opponent for us – even defeating Miror B! You’re pretty cool, man!” Wes cautiously shook Dakim’s hand for a short moment, carefully watching. Seems this guy holds a good deal of respect for me, even though I’m his enemy... well, I guess I just won’t question it, Wes thought quietly.

“But this brings about a dilemma,” Dakim said quietly. “It looks like this whole mission is a lost cause... yet I have Vander here, who I could kidnap and hold ransom for the...flute thingy.”

Thanks for telling me your ideas, then... looks like he’s brawn over brains as well, Wes noted.

“But seeing as it appears you are my current obstacle, and although my enemy, the most worthy of them... I think this calls for a Pokemon Battle.” With that, Dakim grinned. “I do not believe you will win, but perhaps you could entertain me. Only Master Nascour has been able to defeat me – but if you do, I shall leave without Vander. And if I win-”

“I...understand,” Wes interjected, jumping at the offer. He had faith in his Pokemon, and although he had gotten into a few street fights years before, he knew that he stood as much chance beating Dakim in a fight as a Sunkern with paralysis had against an army of Crobat whose sole purpose in life were to beat up Sunkern. “If you insist, we’ll battle with our Pokemon.”

Dakim grinned. “Then it’s agreed! May the best man win. Needless to say...” he added, “that person is me, man.”

***

END CHAPTER YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


I hope you enjoyed that, particularly after my break... well, comment away!
 
Last edited:

bobandbill

Winning Smile
Staff member
Super Mod
Because the moon doesn't have cheese or potatoes.
But it does!

This doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Spheal is about 87 pounds. Ah, heck, still funny anyhow.
As I mentioned to you before, I take the weight of Spheal in the Pokedex to be merely an average weight given - this Spheal being significantly smaller than the rest (or rather, just a particularly young one), Wes would have an easier time to kick it. That, and I'm not about to let the facts get in the way of punting Spheal. =P Yeah, lazy excuse. =P

A few problems in this paragraph. There's an extra quotation mark. The semi-colon should be a comma methinks. And I don't think only's the right word.
Whee, cheers for picking up on that.

OH YEAH DRAMATIC MUSIC I MAKE A HALF-CAMEO.
I' not paying you for the cameo, btw.

Well I have nothing serious to say but EPIC WINZ0RZ, and that isn't really serious.



Great job, even though I was half-distracted coz I was playing Platinum while reading XD



Still, it having my attention even at such a position says something. =P



Can't wait for the next chapter, dude. =D
Cheers once again, DM. I'll forgive you for playing Platinum while reading for it is good fun. =P

Dangit, when will people learn that others' lawns are to be treated with respect and not trodden all over like small children?



...Did I say "small children"? Ah. What I really meant there was "small children".
Not in today's day and age- wait, did you say 'small children'?



COOL.

And there was a wynaut in that chapter, at which I must say "d'aww". I like those things. ^^
They are indeed awesome things.

Fwee for that reference. ^^
Fwee for catching it!

Look on the bright side, Eagun--at least it makes your special defense higher than it might have been otherwise!
TBH I was wondering if someone would say that. XD

o_o; Wow. Somehow I never thought I'd view a hitmontop as creepy, but that bolded bit right there succeeded in making me do just that.
Really? Hurrah then, I guess.

Yet another one of those things that's especially funny out of context. XD



Also, I find myself reminded by that quote of this one part in Dynamite Headdy... except there's only one angry, upside-down (well, sort of) thing trying to kill you there, and he's only angry and upside-down (again, sort of) part of the time. He is basically trying to kill you the entire time, though. :3
I suppose I must investigate this Dynamite Headdy... (Heady?)



Cheers for the review yet again, Sike. =D

I think you have to change this part to fit with its Ruby Pokédex entry.
Eh, I don't feel it's that necessary to go to such depth and incorporate dex entries from games, especially as there's other ways to represent stuff, I feel... =/



This fic is

AWESOME

because it is

AWESOME

so it should be said that this fic is

AWESOME

because it is.

Seriously.

I've been reading it for a while back, even before I joined the Serebii forums. And the delicious combination of humor and awesome makes me want to read the whole thing from the start.

*goes back to beginning*
From the beginning? Eh, if you want XD Cheers for reading and commenting though - glad you like it.

Wow. This is really great writing. I really enjoy some the details you added to Colloseum. One of my favorite things that you added to it was the additional information on Miror B.

Keep up the great work!
Thanks - hope you continue to enjoy it and my random additions. =)



Very funny chapter, bobandbill!



I think my favorite part was when Eagun just chucked his own Pikachu at Skrub's face. WATCH OUT FOR THE PIKA MISSILE!!!!



Sorry, I had more sugar again.



Can't wait for the next one!



5/5! Keep it up!!
Cheers as well - I had fun righting the Pikachu-in-beard part. XD



Wow, this is probably the best thing I've read in a month or so. :]

Anyway, it's really good, and the jokes just keep coming...I have to say, I was hooked by the Monty Python reference in, I think, the first chapter? I'm still surprised I haven't seen anything talking about that.
To be honest I can't remember if I added that in during a lazy chapter edit or not... good pick either way though. =D



I think many would agree with the 'not another Ludicolo' during the Miror B battle judging form people's thoughts on the game's battle against him. XD Cheers for posting!



I've really enjoyed this so far. I can't wait to read the rest of it.



My favorite characters are Espeon and Umbreon. The pair are so enjoyable to read about



Keep up the great work.
Thanks for that. =D Espeon and Umbreon also wish to express their thanks. =P

I've been reading this over the last couple of days, and I have just one thing to say.



Bravo. It seems as though your characters are just MADE of win, particularly Tom (if he doesn't show up again, I will be very, very sad...), and the sheer unrated awesomeness of Makuhita and Yanma. I have to say though, it really seems like you're downplaying Umbreon, which I think is a shame. Compared to Espeon, he has very few lines, and seems to have a much smaller role in the plot. He is Wes' trusted friend, same as Espeon, and it just feels like there should be more of him, and his bacon-loving ways.



My favourite chapter? 13. Seriously, I was laughing my arse off the whole way through it, particularly at the references. I can totally picture Makuhita wielding Ragnell, facing off against the Black Knight... Hey, he has more personality than Ike anyway. Yes, I'm a Fire Emblem fanboy. So sue me.



I can totally guess how this ends, by the way. I am PSYCHIC.



Ho-Oh drops a giant pineapple on Evice as he tries to escape from Realgam Tower. Duh.



Am I good or what? Anyway, please add me to the PM list.



Son_of_Shadows, OUT!!
Yay, another fan of Fire Emblem. =D Added to the PM list, and that's an interesting hypothesis of the ending there... XD Who knows?



First review EVAH! All I can say has already been said already so all I'm going to say is, BACON!!!!!!!!!!! XD
I'm guessing you liked Umbreon's liking for bacon... it is a likeable food-stuff, I agree.



^Uh, random?



Anyway, been a closet reader for ages, and I would like to say very well done. I love the personality you put into the Pokémon characters.

Keep up the good work, I can't wait for the next chapter.
Thanks muchly. Good to see you came out of the closet. =)

It's a stone, Luigi! You didn't make it!

*cough* i got the reference *cough*
Hurrah!

I started reading this a few weeks ago, and decided to post now that I've caught up. Its an amazing story, very very funny. Somehow, I can imagine their characters being like that, especially Rui and Umbreon. Makuhita wins as Ike, for sure. In my head, I thought of Feraligatr as Pit x3 But anyways, I started replaying the game becuase of this fic. Good job I'm looking forward to the next chapter!



Put me on the PM list as well~
Replaying Colosseum, huh? Have fun with that. (Or, hope you had fun with that. =P) Thanks for your thoughts- much appreciated. =D BTW that's an awesome Umbreon there in your sig. =D

ROFLMAO! Oh my god, your fic is the best I've ever read. You could be a professional comedian with this kind of material.



Please add me to the PM list.
Done and done. But a professional comedian? The only kind of those are the stand-up variety, and I like sitting down. -_-

Aargh - sorry, I didn't even realize there was another chapter up. I really need to check more often.
I need to write more often. -_-

No comment.
But you just did. =P

You really must not like cute Pokemon. D: Oddly enough, Spheal was the last Pokemon I caught before reading this.
I don't mind them that much, actually, and some are pretty cool. They just happen to be more puntable than non-cute Pokemon. =P

That is now officially the #1 use for Pikachu. And the best way of starting a battle.
I find Voltorb more effective. Really catches them off guard, until they explode in the opponent's face.



Cheers for reviewing once again, GG - don't worry about being late as I'm even slower! =P

hey add me to the pm list please. i've read through all the posted chapters and its hilarious....i must say bravo...keep up the good work.
Thanks, and added.

Excellent work. I've never really played Colosseum, so I don't the basic storyline of the game, but I'm liking it so far! I wonder what the final battle will be like...

And also, why is it that in Colosseum, you always have to do a double battle? I know use start with two Pokemon, but what about people who only have one? Is it some sort of rule?
Thanks for the review,and the interesting demand. I shall have to address that sooner or later, certainly...
I love this story, it's -very- well done. You have a great skill for characterizing the Pokemon. And Johnson's Magikarp-- WIN. XD



*subscribes to thread*
Thanks for reading, and replying. =)



Hey, I got an account here just so I could post on this one thread...



I pulled an all-nighter just reading all 14 chapters you had written up to this point, and it has been fun! And I mean that in the best possible way... Tom's rants are crazy fun to try to read out loud, Miror B.'s overall treatment was pretty sweet (I myself preferred his Gale of Darkness theme, though; I thought the salsa one from Colosseum was a bit cheesy; mmmm, salsa con queso), the torture scene was funny, in a morbid sort of way, and nice Bill Cosby reference in Chapter 13, by the way!



That and the absolute hilarity that is the PKMN (nobody taught me how to make accented characters, so I'm not going to try) themselves, as well as everyone's slapstick interactions with Johnson, are all I'm going to gush with praise about, for now...



I should probably annoy someone else now; keep up the good work!
Thanks for registering just to comment. =D And for mentioning your favourite parts. Have fun annoying those other people. =P



It's a football! I chiseled it.



It's a stone. You didn't make it!
Indeed I didn't. D=

May I have some of that money? :p
*ponders*... no. =P Cheers for telling me your favourite parts of the chapter though, despite the lack of money. =P

THE INFO IS A LIE! THE INFO IS A L-*shot*
Ye know too much.

uh, ok???

omg loved reading this (and i generally hate reading), ur a gr8 writer, loved espeon and umbreon's personalities and the fact u made them characters in their own rights and if u havnt done so already, a remake of XD would be amazing too.
Thanks. As for an XD fic... I'm going to worry about whether I'll do that or not once I have this one done. =P Needless to say, haven't started that yet.
Cheers all for the reviews. =D

And as for how this relates to the game:
The Day-Care centre - there's one in the game in Agate Village, which unlike others only takes one Pokemon at a time for unknown reasons. But it does take Shadow Pokemon, which will slowly become purified if you have the time to leave it there. And the money. The stuff about the rocks eggs and nobody realising what they were is a jab to all of those NPCs in the Pokemon games not realising where Pokemon came from. INCLUDING ELM.

Mt Battle request - in the game, once you save the Relic stone, instead of being urged to purify Pokemon first, you're told to go straight to Mt Battle as there's an emergency there. All of a sudden the game throws a million events at you after that lull in activity setting up the plot some more.

Mt Battle - the front of the place is a garden with a small reception area, leading to the mountain itself. It's quite a neat-looking place - it's a 100-trainer battle challenge where you have to beat the next person to get closer to the top of the mountain - at stages you go inside it and observe lava flowing within, and the last battle occurs on top, upon a platform floating on lava. Cool stuff. The platforms are rather un-safe looking though - if your Pokemon (or yourself) were to be pushed off the edge, it'd be goodbye, and SPLAT. (Of course that never happens in the game).

Cipher - they come and invade Mt Battle. In true game-style, rather than battle any police forces (which, if you recall, I added into the story along with Andrew), you battle them on Mt Battle, one by one - 9 battles to get up to Dakim. Not very realistic. -_-

Dakim - the first time your character meets him - in fact, the first time he is seen in the game. Makes for a scary sight - an intimidating face, height, and all. Plus, in the opening scene with him, he punches Vander out because he won't hand over the Time Flute. When you show up rather than punching you out too, he challenges you to a battle. An interesting one at that... His Captain Falcon-inspired antics were suggested by Chris_the_Com.

Vander - the first Area Leader of Mt Battle, who also happens to have a Time Flute, which is an item you can use to summon Celebi to completely purify any Shadow Pokemon at any stage. He has the fun role of getting punched out and lying on the ground for the time being.
 
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LadyMiir

Nat. Dex COMPLETE!!!
HUZZAH! An update! *dance of joy*

I love the "I'm sorry, my brain already broke" comment from Umbreon. I always wondered about those platforms...

Just as hilarious as the previous chapters, great work! Looking forward to the next update. =)
 

mattman324

aka Shiny_Feraligatr
“Croc-Fe, Feraligatr,” (Jumbo jets- err, I mean, I said I was sorry, you old slowcoach,) Feraligatr replied with a grin after mixing up his words.

Any fic with a pokemon saying "Jumbo Jets" and "Slowcoach" is win.

“True, true,” Wes pondered. “Oh hey, it’s Yanma,” he added, spotting Yanma’s tail poking out of a bin.

“Yanyanyanyanmamamamama!” (Oh-dear-I’m-stuck-oh-well-it-was-tasty-coffee-hey-look-a profiterole!) the Yanma squealed nonsensically inside. Wes grabbed his Pokeball and recalled the nuisance,

COFFEE! Yanma is awesome. If it evolves, it will become even better.

“Whatever,” Eagun said, as Rui returned the Pokemon to their Pokeballs and handed them to the assistant behind a counter. “We drove that nasty lot out of town, at any rate. Some are now busy retrieving their Pikachu – a good dozen or so ended up in a tree, it appears – and some are tending to Duncan’s poor, poor lawn. Those flowers... they’ll never be the same,” Eagun sniffed.

“...There there,” Wes consoled Eagun uneasily.

*sniff* the flowers... they will be missed.

“I could help!” Eagun offered, smiling brightly.

*eyes are burning at the image of Eagun with a Shadow Pikachu*

“Oh... well, a while back we had a few problems. There were these two Pokemon, you see, who weren’t getting along with each other.”

“I see – just trying to keep the Pokemon happy, fair enough,” Rui said.

“No, there’s more... the next morning when I went to check on them there were a number of strange oval-shaped rocks about the place. Most unusual.”

“Odd. Do you know where they came from?”

“No, but this phenomenon only happens when we have more than one Pokemon with us. We even had one of them sent to this really fancy-pants professor. Elm or something. He seemed confused by it too, though when we told him about it so he got started on examining it... and then that story started about how he went insane, so we never found out about his findings. ”

You’re kidding me, Wes thought. Clearly those were eggs, and this eluded a Pokemon Professor? I’m betting he realised though when it hatched, and… that’s what made him go crazy, like those newspapers had reported? Oh boy.

“We had to have the owners of the Pokemon take them away because the neighbours started complaining. Something about how they can’t sleep at night and that the rocks were too spotty for their liking.” The Day-Care woman shrugged. “It gives a bad reputation for some reason, so it’s a new rule. It's along with the 'No giving the Pokemon candy' , and the 'Strictly, under no circumstances, are Wailord allowed' rule.”

Oh... my.

“Yeah,” Eagun interjected. “We never could figure out where those rocks came from. The best theory going around is that they came from Clefairy from the moon. I don’t really like that idea, but then again, you just can’t trust those Clefairy. Crafty buggers, they are.”

Wes facepalmed himself, groaning slightly. What’s wrong with this entire region? It’s like they all swallowed daft pills at birth or something...

Good description. Curse those nasty Clefairies!

“It’s one of two mysteries this town has,” Eagun continued.

“Oh? What’s the other one?” Rui asked.

“The Pikachu, of course. It was some time after another bunch of those rocks appeared – only one day, they were gone, and all of these Pichu were running about eating all of the trees, or so the story goes. And that’s why we have so many Pikachu now.”

“Any idea where they came from?” Rui asked. Eagun shook his head.

“Wes... are you alright?” Rui asked, noticing Wes continueto facepalm himself some more while muttering a word to himself with each one.

“Why. Is. Everyone. So... oh... um, never mind, I’m just...tired,” Wes said tiredly, giving up.

Wait till later in the chapter... if you think their bad now...

“I know what it is!” Rui shouted. “Sorry,” she added, seeing Wes wince once more at her shouting at his ear. “But it was in this book, remember?” She quickly turned a couple of pages, before reading.

“‘According to ancient lore, the Relic Stone holds blah blah...It is said that Celebi can blah blah blah...’ basically purify Pokemon, I suppose, like the Relic Stone... Ah, here we go. ‘To meet it however, you must use an item called the ‘Time Flute’ which is all that one needs to bring Celebi to the Relic Forest.’”

“So they mean to take the item which can summon Celebi,” Wes concluded. “Well, that sucks.”

Well, that's one way to put it.


“DISHWASHERS! BUY ONE AND GET ONE AT A SLIGHTLY REDUCED PRICE!” it blazed, as the radio also came back on.

“Árrgh!” Wes cried, covering his ears. “I forgot about that...”

I KNEW this would happen.

DISHWASHERS! IF YOU HAVENT BOUGHT ONE YET, YOU MUST BE MAD! MAYBE NOT AS MAD AS THE MAD HATTER BECAUSE HE’S JUST MAD! BUT YOU’LL BE CRAZY NOT TO BUY OUR CHICKEN-FLAVOURED DISHWASHERS!”

Sereously, this is epic win.

PLEASE BE MINDFUL OF THE PLATFORMS – NO RUNNING OR BREAKDANCING PERMITTED

BE CAREFUL NOT TO LET YOUR POKEMON FALL DOWN – HAVE YOUR POKEBALLS AT THE READY SO YOU CAN RECALL THEM

Thinking about how the platforms stay up in the air is severely discouraged.


“Umb, Umbreon...” (I’m sorry, my mind already broke...) Umbreon said, gazing at the infrastructure and then at the gray, jagged rocks of Mt Battle below them.

“Espeon,” (Even this confuses me...) Espeon admitted, before they continued forward after Dakim, who was currently talking to the man on the first spacious platform.

But what if I want to think about them staying in the ai- *shot*

“If you’re not, then show me your moves!” Dakim challenged. As the boy looked back at Dakim blankly, Dakim suddenly brought his fist back, and threw it forward.

“You’re too slow! Out of my way! DAKIM PAWWUNCH!” Dakim yelled, connecting with his punch before running onwards.

O_O Someone has been playing to much brawl...

“DAKIM KICK!” Dakim shouted, this time kicking the person.

Squarely in the face.

“YES!” Dakim said, proud of his strength, moving onwards as the other man fell down, luckily staying on his platform as well.

See above.

“Umbreon,” (Man, imagine if I dropped an egg off from here,) Umbreon muttered.

“Esp.” (Shut up.)

“Umbreon, umb-” (But seriously, if I dropped an egg from here, it’d just go ‘SPLAT’, just like that-)

“Espeon! Esp!” (I said SHUT UP! Or you’ll go splat!) Espeon warned.

I don't know of any attack Espeon knows that effects umbreon. Still, the image of an Umbreon pancake is... disturbing.


END CHAPTER YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-_-. You just HAD to make that reference, didn't you?
 

Kurloz Makara

Red Death
“Umb, Umbreon...” (I’m sorry, my mind already broke...) Umbreon said, gazing at the infrastructure and then at the gray, jagged rocks of Mt Battle below them.

*giggles* Umbreon's so cute.

Interesting chapter. And a bit random.

Dakim... not what I was expecting. He seems like a brainless bully to me.

Alucard: He seemed like that to me too.

Hey, what are you doing here?! GET LOST! *shoves Alucard away*

Alucard: HEY!!! *falls over* OW!

Serves you right for interrupting me.

Alucard: *deathglares, vanishes*

Hmph. Sorry about that, bobandbill.

Whoops, gotta go. 5/5. Keep it up!;201-m;

*leaves*
 

growlithe_master

<-- Ain't it cute?
oh my god, you actually updated this. im shocked, yet happy at the same time. anyway, it was a great chapter, hilarious, yadda yadda, lets get on to the highlights and the grammar nazi.

“Wes... are you alright?” Rui asked, noticing Wes continueto facepalm himself some more while muttering a word to himself with each one.
Should be "continue to."

“Me too,” Rui said, yawning louder. “It’s tired, and I’m early...”
Not sure if you did this on purpose, but it should be "It's early, and I'm tired..."

“Árrgh!” Wes cried, covering his ears. “I forgot about that...”
Shouldn't have an accent over the a.

Now highlights.

“Yanyanyanyanmamamamama!” (Oh-dear-I’m-stuck-oh-well-it-was-tasty-coffee-hey-look-a profiterole!)
o_O

“Actually, maybe you should take a look at the grounds for yourself? We’re also a certified Day Care service. It’s got a stamp and everything,” she added, pulling out a piece of paper. Wes glanced at it – it had the words ‘Day Care Service No 34’, and a stamp with the word ‘APPROVED’ encircling an awesome face.
Awesome face! :D

“We could always build a fort,” Eagun suggested.

“Out of what?” Wes countered, still waiting for a connection with Sherles.

“Good question... the Pikachu, maybe?”
=O Eagun, you're a freaking genius!

“Then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal,” Dakim continued, grabbing two small rocks and miming them as animals. “And then he put them on a boat, and then he beat the heck out of them, man!”
I'll never look at the story of Noah's Ark the same way again.

“Good point. I’m...going to have to demote you now. Sorry. Now about our plan... Oh, I know. How about this – you go in, and start attacking people with your Pokemon, and I’ll go in and punch stuff, man! Then I’ll find that guy and get that Space Saxophone off of him, and we’ll go back!”
I have to admit it, but Space Saxophone is WAY cooler sounding than Time Flute.

Suddenly, another group emerged behind the charity group, also clad in purple, singing a chant as they approached.

“We are Cipher, we are here, something something we like beer! Gonna go kick up a fuss, all your base are belong to us...” they sung, before trailing off into silence, noticing the Police force.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna go to school and sing that nonstop, it's that awesome.

“Aha! Some action! I always like a good fight,” he bellowed, before using the cactus like a baseball bat, hitting the Growlithe into the air back the way it came, as it yelped in surprise.
:mad: DIE!

“DISHWASHERS! IF YOU HAVENT BOUGHT ONE YET, YOU MUST BE MAD! MAYBE NOT AS MAD AS THE MAD HATTER BECAUSE HE’S JUST MAD! BUT YOU’LL BE CRAZY NOT TO BUY OUR CHICKEN-FLAVOURED DISHWASHERS!”
No longer do you have to put up with bland-flavored dishwashers, with our new, patented, Chicken-Flavored Dishwashers!

“You’re too slow! Out of my way! DAKIM PAWWUNCH!” Dakim yelled, connecting with his punch before running onwards.
DAKIM PAWWUNCH! > FALCON PAWWUNCH!

“Great, it turns out we’re chasing after Spiderman,” Wes commented dryly.
I didn't know Spiderman even existed in the Pokemon world. You learn something new every day.
 
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Excitable Boy

is a metaphor
while the others had trouble fighting back, while the others had trouble fighting back as the heat generated by the group made it nigh impossible for a direct approach to be made.

Mistake.

Now for the highlights.

“DISHWASHERS! IF YOU HAVENT BOUGHT ONE YET, YOU MUST BE MAD! MAYBE NOT AS MAD AS THE MAD HATTER BECAUSE HE’S JUST MAD! BUT YOU’LL BE CRAZY NOT TO BUY OUR CHICKEN-FLAVOURED DISHWASHERS!”

The mere thought of those delicious dishwashers makes my mouth water!

“You’re too slow! Out of my way! DAKIM PAWWUNCH!”

References ahoy, Captain Dakim.

The best theory going around is that they came from Clefairy from the moon. I don’t really like that idea, but then again, you just can’t trust those Clefairy. Crafty buggers, they are.”

I know. I'll ask Captain Fal-Dakim if he has a machine gun I can borrow.

“We could always build a fort,” Eagun suggested.

“Out of what?” Wes countered, still waiting for a connection with Sherles.

“Good question... the Pikachu, maybe?”

It's not as if there's a shortage... killing two Pidgeys with one Hard Stone. I like that.

“We’re a fundraising group for charity! We sell cookies!” she added, waving boxes in the air clearly marked ‘Cookies – Buy One To Raise Funds For The Defenceless Magikarp’ in large letters.

Poor guys. I'd support 'em, but I don't like cookies.

“We are Cipher, we are here, something something we like beer! Gonna go kick up a fuss, all your base are belong to us...” they sung, before trailing off into silence, noticing the Police force.

I have a feeling they might have consumed a bit of the aforementioned beverage...

“Oi! You need to register before going there! Why the hell did you break our door? We paid good money to have that installed, you know!” the nurse snapped. “Get back here, you deaf oaf! No cactuses are allowed – it’s against the rules!”

Man, he's gonna be in deeeeeep doo-doo.

PLEASE BE MINDFUL OF THE PLATFORMS – NO RUNNING OR BREAKDANCING PERMITTED
Thinking about how the platforms stay up in the air is severely discouraged

What? No breakdancing?

He had faith in his Pokemon, and although he had gotten into a few street fights years before, he knew that he stood as much chance beating Dakim in a fight as a Sunkern with paralysis had against an army of Crobat whose sole purpose in life were to beat up Sunkern.

Think Lv. 100 HP Electric Sunkern, Level 23 Crobats.

I give it 0/1000000000000. My laughing caused my mom to realize that I wasn't actually checking the National Hurricane Service website for hurricanes in the Atlantic. (There weren't any.)
 
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