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The Rookie's Handbook to Conspiracy Theory

jirachiman876

The King of Kirby
Great new part PD. I just can't wait to get more into the story. I guess coming in late to a fic I can't really say anything that hasn't been said.
I also loved Surge's reaction to finding Pikachu there along with Ariados and Koga. Then you put us into reality for a brief moment with the neighbor coming in and checking on things. I know most people would not have put that little bit in. Great job on that part.
I was with Dragonfree on the whole inter dimension thing, mainly cause Surge was talking about experiments in Kuwait. And if you have experiments in Kuwait bringing about Pokemon, then you'd prolly have a way to get them into our world and Inter dimensional things like I thought it was would make a lot of sense. But since it's not, I'm really interested in how it's all going to be explained. I can't wait for the next part to come in.
All in all, a great part, I got nothing really else to say.
Jirachiman out ;385;
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Jirachiman: Haha, thanks. ^^ Only one more part, actually, and we're done. So without further adieu, and with a woot for pseudoscience:


Part 4: How To Draw The Line Between Going Crazy And Going Black

Marcus stared.

The sky was blue and clear that day, and he gazed up at it with unconscious intensity. He’d never really paid much attention to the sky; it had never been important. Now, though, it was one of the few stable things in a world turned mad.

It was past noon, two days after. Marcus’s stomach growled, but he couldn’t find it in himself to move from his not-so-lazy sprawl against his father’s headstone, not even to light another of the cigarettes he really shouldn’t have been smoking. Funny, how the day before yesterday all his uncertainties and all the unknowns had meant he’d rather face his sister than the memory of his father. Yesterday, as he drove to Norfolk, and then today, as he walked the distance from his hotel, watching people pass him by and wondering if that person was one, or that person, or how they could not fucking know, he could only think that this was what his pa must have felt like, except his pa had never gotten the confirmation that Marcus had.

‘What d’you fucking mean, they’re “what’s real”?’ Marcus demanded.

‘Sit down,’ Koga said. Marcus debated: he had a black operative sitting in his kitchen along with two mutant animals. Whatever he was about to hear wasn’t going to be about tomorrow’s weather forecast. He sat.

‘Very good,’ Koga said implacably, and leaned forward. ‘Tell me, Lieutenant Surge, how much do you know of this planet’s history?’

Marcus frowned. That seemed like a loaded question. The pilot settled for answering, ‘About as much as anyone else, I guess.’

‘And more than you realize, if the “anyone” you refer to are your peers and neighbors,’ Koga noted, before seemingly changing the subject. ‘And do you read much fiction? Fantasy, perhaps?’

There was a glint in the man’s eyes which told Marcus he should tread carefully, but at the last he couldn’t help but snort. ‘I don’t have time for fantasy.’

‘Then,’ Koga said with a slight curl of his lips, the kind that spoke of disdained amusement, ‘you had best make the time for it, Lieutenant.’


He had shown Marcus pictures, then, photographs of animals he was sure couldn’t possibly exist—or would have been if not for the rat sitting right in front of him.

The first had been an image of a creature, humanoid—sort of—or maybe like a monkey, with a build like a sumo wrestler and a squashed face and massive, massive hands and feet. On the back, beside Asian letters, was a list of names: Bigfoot. Sasquatch.

And topping them all, in capitals and underlined:

‘Slaking’.

Marcus stared at the word, and took a moment to unstick his throat. ‘This is Bigfoot?’

‘Indeed it is.’

Koga flipped another photograph over the top of the one Marcus held, and the blond caught it reflexively. This picture showed another beast, also man-shaped, but smaller and slighter of build and covered in long white fur. Marcus didn't think he needed to look at the back, but he did anyway. Yeti.

‘Vigoroth’.


They had seemed to come thick and fast, then: a horse with a mane and tail of fire, and a horn jutting from its forehead (unicorn. ‘Rapidash’.); an odd blue duck-like thing with hands and a red jewel between its eyes (kappa. ‘Golduck’.); an image of what looked like purple mist until he realized it had eyes (poltergeist. ‘Gastly’.); a long snake with fins and whiskers and shiny blue scales (sea serpent. ‘Gyarados’.); a creature that no one on Earth had the right to have photographs of, poised against the sky with its cream-colored wings spread (dragon. ‘Dragonite’.).

Marcus lowered his head to his arms, staring blankly through them at the table.

‘They’re called “pokémon”.’

‘Poe-kay-mon?’ Marcus’s voice was muffled and exhausted.

‘Poh-keh-mon.’ Koga sounded the word out slowly and clearly, and without any disdain or patronism whatsoever, though at least if he had Marcus could have clutched at straws that this was one big joke—at least until he looked up again. ‘It’s short for “pocket monster”; first coined in the late ’40s, I believe. Rather degrading, in my opinion, but there you are.’

Marcus was watching the electric rat eat. ‘They don’t look pocket-sized,’ he observed inanely.

‘Indeed not. They only became publicly known so after the advent of genetics and the discovery of DNA. If a salmon is a fish, a falcon a bird and a possum a mammal, then these,’ Koga indicated the pair of ‘mutants’, ‘are pokémon. Previously they were nearly collectively known as youkai or oni—or demon—or simply “monster”.’

‘But why “
pocket monsters”?’ Marcus questioned rather single-mindedly, as if focusing on the one thing gave him more control over everything else.

‘Because,’ Koga answered calmly. ‘With genetics, it was discovered that these creatures had a common genetic trait which allowed them to be broken up into mere energy and stored on an atomic level. No other being in the world can have that done to them and survive—and they did try, in those days. Pokémon can be stored in a device less than the size of your fist—one of these, in fact.’

He tossed something at Marcus and the blond reflexively caught it. It was a ball, a sphere, rather gaudy, really, white on the bottom and red on the top and with a button set in the middle. When he pressed it the top flipped open suddenly, revealing a smooth, braced inside, but webbed with some soft material Marcus didn’t care to try and identify.

‘That is a pokéball—a “pocket ball”, as it were. It’s fairly advanced technology by your standards. A creature that can be reduced to energy and stored by this device must therefore be a pokémon. Like so.’ He raised another of the odd-looking spheres and with a casual toss bounced it off his mutant spider’s body. As soon as it hit it burst open—Marcus jumped—and the spider literally dissolved, like sugar in water, and in a beam of red light was absorbed into the ball, which snapped shut and zoomed back to Koga’s waiting hand.

Marcus swallowed and croakily asked a question which suddenly seemed horrendously important. ‘Why the fuck are you telling me this?’


Why indeed, Marcus mused, stretching his arms and legs out without moving from his seat again the headstone. At that point he’d fully expected to be offed; clearly the existence of pokémon was meant to be a secret, though how the world’s collective governments had kept it a secret for so long—and why—had been beyond him.

Koga had seemed to read it in his face, what’s more.

The black-haired man smirked before pointing at the mutant rat as if that would explain everything.

‘That,’ he said slightly mockingly, ‘is a pikachu, a kind of electric rodent, as you have no doubt realized.’ Marcus’s eyes flashed towards the burn crater in his kitchen wall. ‘Most species live in forests, but there are some which are desert-dwellers—this one’s colony was in Kuwait. It’s policy to keep watch on pokémon populations in war-zones, to make sure they remain undiscovered by those not meant to see them.’

‘So you’re with the CIA, then?’ Marcus guessed.

Koga’s lip curled. ‘Idiot. I am not with any government you’ve ever heard of. No government you’ve ever heard of is aware that these creatures exist: that is the point of keeping them secret. Now shut up and let me finish.’


The colony of the mutant rats—the pikachu—had been inadvertently destroyed in a bombing, Koga told him. The man had arrived there too late to save any of them, though he had tracked some fleeing the territory and, as he found their remains one by one, was left to follow the single survivor. He hadn’t been quick enough to find it before Marcus did, however.

‘And that is where you became a nuisance.’ Koga eyed him, and Marcus stiffened. ‘You did not reveal it to anyone, thankfully, but you took it back to your camp. Despite the idiotic risk of discovery, you took care of it. And when the opportunity arose, I captured it to take away safely.’

‘This still isn’t answering my question.’

The look Koga gave him then was distinctly impatient. ‘Surely after all the time you’ve spent with it you don’t seriously believe it is merely some dumb animal?’

Marcus watched the mutant ra—pikachu, thinking about the way it had seemed to understand the urgency for escape when they were attacked, and the way it had tested his locked trunk, and managed to evade detection despite its thefts. He shook his head.

‘No,’ Koga echoed Marcus’s unspoken word. ‘These beings are intelligent, far more intelligent on average than nearly any other animal. Some match humans themselves for intelligence. Some are outright sentient. And this pikachu bonded with you. For its sake alone, you have the right to know.’

‘Oh.’

‘That is, if you choose to remain in the know.’


Marcus had been singularly confused by that comment and by the odd, almost amused glint in Koga’s eye, followed by being supremely wary. And then he had been singularly disbelieving as Koga told him bluntly that if he didn’t want to know, they’d just have a psychic wipe his memory.

‘A … what?’

‘A psychic,’ Koga repeated, and this time the amusement was evident. ‘Psychic power exists, Lieutenant, and not only among pokémon. People are psychic also.’

Marcus swallowed hard. He was going to sound like a completely idiot, he knew, but he had to ask. ‘What—what about—y’know, vampires and—werewolves?’

‘No,’ Koga said flatly, and Marcus couldn’t help the surge of relief. ‘Ghosts, ghouls, psychics, yes. Though I daresay pokémon have had something to do with the legends that arose about them—there is a rather vampiric species of bat pokémon which can grow to several feet in size, for instance—vampires and werewolves are only myths.’

Marcus nodded almost absently, still staring at Koga. Sometime during their conversation the mutant r—pikachu had finished eating and was curled up against Marcus’s arm, enjoying the lieutenant’s absent pats.

‘Where are you from?’ Marcus asked finally. ‘If you’re not part of any government I know but still have people to study fuckin’ genetics, then …’

‘As I said, Lieutenant, I am not from any government you're aware of—although that is perhaps inaccurate, as you could very well be aware of it as a concept, simply not of its existence.’


He had sighed, then, at Marcus’s blank look, and asked what he knew of the story of Atlantis. Marcus never had been one for myths and stories; all he had been able to answer was that he thought it was some city that had sunk. Koga had been unimpressed.

‘It was a continent, actually,’ said the black-haired man a little sourly. ‘And most of it did sink, some thousands of years ago; that is true. But that is not the end of it.’

‘It’s not?’ Marcus asked, a little weakly if truth be told.

Koga smirked grimly. ‘Oh no. You see, the continent you would call Atlantis—though it does, admittedly, bear other names—was, and still is, the Motherland of all the beasts and fables men like you believe are fantasy.’ He nodded at the mutan—pikachu. ‘They came from there and spread across the world alongside mankind. And, of course, there was conflict. By the time the Empire fell there were colonies all over the world, but they no longer trusted men—except occasionally the men like them—the psychics.

‘In time, they had kept so well hidden that no one except those who had kept the truth alive from generation to generation—the druids, for example—believed they existed. Such was the world that we met, when the people of the Motherland returned centuries later; we have kept watch since then, against the day that the Outside world at large would discover the truth.’

Marcus shook his head, not in denial, but as though it would help him think clearly. ‘Why?’ he asked, unable to think of anything else to say. Koga raised an eyebrow, and this time there was no amusement, only faint surprise and a look as though Marcus should have already known the answer to his own question.

‘Surely you did not just ask that? I would have thought that you, among the many who have discovered the truth on their own, would understand our reasons. Did you not attend to history as a child, or has history already forgotten the name “Salem”?’

‘The witch trials?’

‘Yes. None of those people were witches, obviously, but a number were psychic and others were Hidden, nonetheless.’ He said the word ‘hidden’ as though it had a capital: Marcus could practically hear it.

‘But it’s not like that anymore,’ Marcus pointed out. ‘We don’t discriminate based on—’

‘Based on what?’ Koga breathed, the words quiet but cutting enough to silence the blond. ‘Based on race? Religion? Ethnicity? You would not
execute us, true, but the only reason you do not discriminate against us is because you do not know we exist. In any case, that is only half the issue; it is not only humans we are protecting. Or have you already forgotten what that—’he gestured at the pikachu—‘is capable of?’

Marcus was silent, staring down at the now dozing rat. He thought of the way it had electrocuted those two men and still had enough juice left to power his helo back into the Coalition’s territory, even while starving and injured. He thought of what his superiors would have done or how they would have used it had they known. Without meaning to, he shuddered.

‘Ah.’ Koga's lips curled in bleak satisfaction. ‘I see you do understand.’

Marcus nodded.


A breeze drifted over the grass, but Marcus couldn’t pretend that was the only reason he shuddered this time either. He’d been prepared to die for Uncle Sam and all, but the idea of creatures like that in his government’s hands—in any government’s hands—made his heart chill. And according to Koga the pikachu was only the tip of the iceberg, and given that he’d held a picture of a dragon in his hands …

If any country in the world got control over those kinds of powers it would be a whole new level of war. Maybe not as instantly destructive as using nukes, but almost worse: just weak enough that they could pretend or trick themselves into thinking they had control, but strong enough as everyday weapons to wipe out thousands in a month.

That, Koga told him, was why the Motherland had no conventional military force. In the first place, the secrecy they held was enough that they didn’t need to defend themselves against an outside threat. In the second place, for the most part the older families—the ones with considerable political power—remembered what happened millennium ago, and they knew that an army of pokémon risked the existence of a power that could easily spiral out of control. The oldest laws reflected this knowledge, such as the one which barred a person from carrying more than a certain number of pokémon at any given time.

Marcus sat digesting this for a moment. The comment about outside threats had sparked something in his mind. ‘Where is the Motherland?’ he asked. ‘And why hasn’t anyone found it yet?’

‘The former is something you not need to know—yet. As for the latter, they do not find it because they cannot see it.’

‘But we have satellites—’

‘—which can be tricked into not seeing things which are there. No one has done an underwater survey of the place where the Motherland is—not in person. And because they have not done it in person, they do not find what is truly there.’

‘But how—?’

Koga waved a hand. ‘A concept you will find difficult or impossible to comprehend, no doubt: even our scientists are unsure how it works, and they have had years to study the phenomenon.’ He tilted his head. ‘Then again, research is so rarely allowed to be done on it, for fear the researchers will accidentally break something and reveal us to all.’

‘That isn’t answering my question,’ Marcus pointed out.

Koga raised an eyebrow. ‘As it please you, then. The Motherland is hidden by what our scientists call a “dimensional variance”.’

Marcus’s brow furrowed. Koga’s lifted higher. ‘Dimensions,’ Marcus said at last, ignoring Koga’s expectant air and wracking his mind for everything he’d ever learned about Einstein. ‘You mean like—a fifth dimension? Other than length, breadth, depth and time?’

Both of Koga’s eyebrows climbed, this time. ‘I admit, I am impressed, Lieutenant. I did not expect you to be so learned in such a specialized field.’

‘I’m a pilot,’ Marcus said brusquely. ‘I use or try to defy physics on a weekly basis. Can’t break the rules properly if yah don’t know ’em.’ The truth was that he did vaguely recall a theory about it, but it had crossed the border into astrophysics and out of the field he was in, so his knowledge was limited beyond the existence of the theory itself.

Koga smirked, but this time is wasn’t at Marcus so much as at some inside joke he hadn’t expected Marcus to be in on. ‘Indeed. Yes, some physicists consider space-time itself to be a fifth dimension. If we are in a box, then what is outside the box?’

‘The Motherland?’ Marcus guessed, and Koga held up a finger.

‘But not entirely. The Motherland’s “box” is almost entirely within this one, but is just slightly out of sync—just enough that, with the proper application of energy, it can be hidden from sight altogether.’

‘What kind of energy?’

Koga spread his hands. ‘Psychic, perhaps? We do not know. This variance is a result of the war so long ago—perhaps the threshold itself was a result of the cataclysm and so will, in time, fade and draw the Motherland in sync with the rest of the world. Or perhaps it was a deliberate move to protect what remained of the Motherland by some exceptionally intelligent and powerful pokémon—there are a number within popular legend. However it was done, that is the state of things now and it has allowed us to flourish as a nation in unison with such creatures and apart from the world at large.’

Idly Marcus scratched behind the pikachu’s ear, and the yellow rat snuffled and stirred, snuggling closer to Marcus's arms.


Koga had offered him a choice, then: the chance to know and learn about this strange new world that was in actual fact far older than Marcus could even comprehend, or have his memory wiped and go on with his life without ever knowing the truth. He would have to leave America if he chose the former; because of his career it was considered too much a security risk to just let him stay, at least in the beginning, and even if he could the pikachu couldn’t have stayed with him. There had been some who felt that Marcus’s training was enough reason to just wipe his memory offhand, but it was policy to offer the choice in situations like this and Marcus had shown himself to be uncommonly discreet.

But after having been given said choice, Marcus hadn’t known what to do with himself. How the hell did a person make a decision like that, knowing that their circumstances were unusual even to the standards of people for whom this was the norm? He couldn’t.

Fortunately that seemed to be factored into their standard operating procedure: Koga had given him a week to make a decision and handed him the business card to a community centre in LA for him to go to once he’d made the choice. There wasn’t really an issue of security, despite bureaucratic concerns; Marcus had no proof that everything was real except for the card and the hole in his kitchen wall, since the pikachu was going with Koga. Even if Marcus spoke out, no one would believe him, especially given his family history. Which was why he was sitting, slumped, against his father’s headstone.

And that brought him to a matter infinitely more important to his decision that anything else.

Koga had already risen by the time Marcus got up the gumption to ask his final question. He figured he already knew the answer, because they had frikkin’ psychics who could wipe a person’s frikkin’ memory, so why would they bother with such extreme steps as he was wondering? And if there had been no proof, why would they bother even with that?

And yet he had to ask.

‘Jacob Surge,’ he said bluntly, and Koga paused while Marcus fought down the clench in his chest and strove to make his voice even. ‘Ostensibly committed suicide ten years ago—shame, maybe. He kept claiming he’d seen things, creatures that couldn’t exist. People thought he’d gone insane.’ A pause, and then Marcus fixed Koga with a searching stare he didn’t intend to let the man get away from. ‘Did you do it?’

Koga turned to face him squarely and never broke eye contact as he said, quietly and firmly, ‘no.’

He could have been referring to himself, loopholing Marcus’s question—‘no’, he hadn’t done it
personally—but Koga had never been patronizing or disdainful about the most important things and he didn’t bother to dissemble further as someone else would have. That fact alone made the pilot believe him.

Marcus nodded once. ‘Okay.’

Koga bowed slightly. ‘Good evening, Lieutenant Surge.’

‘Yeah. ’Bye.’


Koga had left, and Marcus’s night had remained almost entirely sleepless, and now he was loitering in a cemetery as though that would help him make his decision.

He’d considered calling someone. Ian had sprung to mind, and the sniper knew him well enough to go along with him if he told him he’d discovered a conspiracy. The actual circumstances of the conspiracy … probably not; but he’d back Marcus up if Marcus couldn’t tell him the details and yet needed to do something about it. But that would ruin Ian’s career, and possibly their friendship if things went too far and Ian wasn’t convinced or things blew up in their faces, and Marcus wasn’t sure he wanted these people to be exposed anyway. He’d have to ring Ian eventually at any rate, if he chose to go along with this: Koga had told him they’d set him up as having been recruited for a black ops unit, just as he had first suspected, and Ian was one of the people that Marcus just couldn’t disappear on without the Ranger getting suspicious.

Beth had been next in his thoughts. It was strange to think that he’d only called her two days ago: he just couldn’t reconcile the time before he’d met Koga with everything that had come after. Still, calling her twice in nearly as many days? Practically unheard of. And yet he felt that, somehow, he owed it to her; he still didn’t know if she had actually believed Pa or if she’d just been going along with it out of support and the fear of what might happen if she didn’t, but either way they’d both been right and it felt like he at least owed her an explanation—or a justification.

But that thought also chilled him because he knew it wouldn’t mend the gap between them; if anything it would make it grow wider. It didn’t matter how sorry he was, how much remorse he felt—he’d only be giving her the solid justification to hate him more, because she—and their pa—had been right and Marcus had been wrong, and he couldn’t change that now.

No. There was really only one person’s forgiveness he needed, only one person who had the right to grant or deny him that, and that was why he was sitting in the middle of a deserted cemetery and had been since he’d made it to Norfolk. His pa was the only one he owed anything to anymore, and that was probably why the decision didn’t seem nearly as hard as it had been two days ago.

‘I believe ya, Pa.’ Closing his eyes, Marcus leaned his head back against the coarse gravestone, and patted the ground beneath him.

‘I believe ya.’


~ finis
 
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Diddy

Renegade
aw shucks, I'm a sucker for alternate history, or historical conspiracy theory.

This chapter was right up my street :D

I especially liked when you began giving explanations for all kinda of unconnected events like Bigfoot, Atlantis and the Salem Witch Trials. Although I can't help wondering why you chose Vigoroth for the Yeti when Abomasnow makes a brilliant abominable snowman.

This was great, a little tie up at the end, everything gets sorted and Lt. Surge makes his mind up, that Koga is on wily son of a bagel.

Well done.
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Diddy: Heh, I'm kind of fond of AU history/conspiracy theories too. ^^ I have got to read Harry Turtledove. Sometime. When I actually have time damn you, end of year assignments and NaNo!

I especially liked when you began giving explanations for all kinda of unconnected events like Bigfoot, Atlantis and the Salem Witch Trials.

Yeah, I'm big on interconnectedness and finding links, especially with regards to myth. XD; To be honest, being able to do so was one of the biggest lures of casting my fanon like this. Gave me plenty of material. X3


Although I can't help wondering why you chose Vigoroth for the Yeti when Abomasnow makes a brilliant abominable snowman.

Well, this can kind of be divided into two questions. X3 'Why did I choose vigoroth?' Well, it's got long white fur which would let it blend in to snow, and it's man-shaped like the yeti is meant to be. That was about the extent of my motivation. The other question is, 'why didn't I choose abomasnow', which is a simple question with a simple answer, with said simple answer having a complicated justification.

Simple answer: Sinnoh doesn't exist--it actually is only a story (or will be, when the games are released on the Outside, which won't be for over a decade in the in-world timeline).

Justification: There are a few reasons for it, really, my personal dislike for generation four pokemon aside. To begin with, all of this had been cast and fairly set in stone (if unwritten) before DP was released (yeah, that's how long I've been workin' on the thing ...) so finding a place for Sinnoh, for various reasons which will be referred to below, was more difficult than just slapping it in there.

The biggest reason involves the world's 'walls', though. Given that the Motherland is pretty much an island remnant of Atlantis, and that it's protected by some kind of psychic/dimensional barrier, there's only so much space it can have before I have the readers start to wonder, 'hey now, how big is this place and can the variance really hide it all?' Since the Pokemon franchise is likely to go on creating new regions for a while, there was inevitably going to be a point where I'd have to draw the line and start saying that regions didn't exist, or risk the geographical borders just getting far too big to be believed. I drew it here for a few interconnected reasons (or one big, complex one, whatever floats your boat):

Firstly (if you'll allowed me to begin by limiting the argument to the gym-dominated regions), because three regions and two champions are excellent, balanced numbers. Obviously I couldn't completely choose these numbers myself, since it's canon that Kanto and Johto share resident champions and E4 members, but I think it works out. Given the in-world past history of the nation I've established, the Motherlanders have a fear of growing beyond their boots, hence the need to lawfully restrict their own power (via restrictions on pokemon teams, etc). In that case, having too many champions would begin to break those restrictions and would go against their ingrained culture of keeping within the bounds of power and geography. Two champions means that, if one starts to get ideas, the other has enough power to stop them (or, alternatively, the Elite Four members of that region can combine to take the relevant champion down, but that's getting into the issue of the social and political position of the GL/E4/C tiers, which is a wholly different, if interesting, subject). I put the limit on three regions partly because I like the number three as a balanced, not-too-large number and partly because Hoenn had already been around for a while by the time I'd developed this idea fully and had its own place in the background fanon (whereas Sinnoh was new enough to be something of an outsider).

However, that's if you're ignoring all the other regions lurking around. There's Orre, for one, which I could see (taking into account my ignorance of the region's canon history, seeing as I don't have the blasted games) as being a leftover from the cataclysm and therefore less hospitable. There's also the regions from the Ranger games. I do actually think that the variance could conceivably hide up to five regions at the very most, and I'd prefer to fill up the final two slots using ones from the other games, just for the sake of geographic and locally cultural diversity. Adding Sinnoh into it would mean the world is inhabited with four gym-dominated regions, and that tends to be a bit old after a while (as well as adding a third champion in there and therefore starting to risk a 'team' of champions getting together to try and take over, which, again, pushes the boundaries of the Motherland's fear of overwhelming and unregulated power).

All that said, I wouldn't mind incorporating some of the story elements of other regions into the fanon--maybe Sinnoh was a mythical region which supposedly existed in the past, and maybe Cyrus is actually an Outsider representation of a man who, a thousand years ago, really did try that stunt and present-day Cynthia wrote essays on that historical period, hence her inclusion as Champion in the Outsider rendition. I'm not sure how yet, but I'm not going to reject the possibility of using at least the Sinnoh characters in some way, if not in the expected way. I do rather despise the generation four pokemon, so they will, at the most, never be anything but actual Motherlander myths (given that the fanon assumes that the Legendaries of Kanto, Johto and Sinnoh are all actually real, it's not a bad idea to have a set of pokemon which are actually myths, a take I kind of like and would accept, though only to a certain extent).

So, yeah. Long, explanation is long. Hopefully it makes sense. XD


This was great, a little tie up at the end, everything gets sorted and Lt. Surge makes his mind up, that Koga is on wily son of a bagel.

Well done.

Haha, thanks. ^^ Yes, indeed he is, and it won't be the last time Surge meets him, either. After all, Koga is essentially his contact, which makes Surge Koga's responsibility do you hear the word 'sequel'? why yes, perhaps you do. =3
 
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Diddy

Renegade
sequel? lolyay!

I do enjoy this fanon universe rather a lot more than those I've encountered in the past, and I'd like to point out that after reading Luphinid Silneak's Aftershock, the whole theory and understanding of dimensional variance is tightly lassoed in my control. So I can picture and understand how and what is going on.

plus it brings back fond memories of Bioshock :3

And thank you for answering my query both quickly and with proper reasoning.
 

jirachiman876

The King of Kirby
Yay!!!! Explained FTW!!!
I loved your interpretations of all the real life myths and made them Pokemon. I was sooo excited to see that. I squeed in delight.
Anway, loved the entire chapter and how you explained the reasons for the regions existing. I was waiting for some kind of inter-dimensional thing going on, and I was somewhat right.
Anyway, this is just screaming sequel! And I can't wait for it to come out. This is some great stuff PD. Not much technical stuff to really comment on, since it doesn't really need it all that much, because things aren't being described as much.
The only thing I did find a little annoying was his constant self-correcting. I understand that he would be doing it a lot because he's not used to calling the rat a Pikachu, but I just thought it was a little overdone. That's really my only qualm with it, other than that it was effing amazing!!!!
jirachiman out ;385;
 

greywolf123

Well-Known Member
First time writing a review here, and I have to say, I'm nervous!

In any case, after reading them all, I sincerely hope you are writing a sequel! This was definitely too good to stop here, especially with all those unanswered questions you left. Kind of. In any case, let me see if I can do this right, and actually give some criticism.


I did like the way you worked the story, switching from the present, to that last scene. It gave it a nice stylistic touch, and it avoided getting confusing. A little more space between the more rapid fire one's would be nice, but other than that, I liked that aspect of it.

As for the mythology, and conspiracy theories, I felt you did a great job tying them all in. Especially liked that little bit about the salem witch trials bit, as well as the mythological creatures. Did a good job tying them in with the main story as well, with Koga using them as evidence. By the way, I also liked Koga's character. Did a good job characterizing him, in my opinion.

Then there's my favorite part, the little physics bit. I have to say, I couldn't help but grin at that. Good job of explaining just how things might happen, and how they could hide a place like that.

As for that long explanation you gave, I doubt you'd really run into a lack of room. If they were really in a dimensional pocket, I doubt space would be that big of an issue. Unless your more of implying their not in a separate space, so much as one foot in one foot out.

Overall, I really liked it, and have to say, the Ariados bit of last chapter. Giant spiders, just what we need. Now only if this were real, we'd be set.

Now I hope I did that right
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Diddy:
I'd like to point out that after reading Luphinid Silneak's Aftershock, the whole theory and understanding of dimensional variance is tightly lassoed in my control. So I can picture and understand how and what is going on.

Um, yay? o_O I'm not actually sure what spurred this comment. But I'm glad you understand what's going on? XD;

And thank you for answering my query both quickly and with proper reasoning.

You're welcome? XD; Hope it was proper reasoning that made sense, at least; I think I came off rather strong against gen 4 pokes in there ... oh well.


jirachiman:
Anway, loved the entire chapter and how you explained the reasons for the regions existing. I was waiting for some kind of inter-dimensional thing going on, and I was somewhat right.
Anyway, this is just screaming sequel!

Yup, somewhat right. XD; Not quite the whole 'another dimension' thang, but yup. :p

And yup, sequel. ^^; It'll be a lot longer and focus on Surge's integration into the Motherland's culture, though, so it won't come soon. If I do decide to do NaNo officially, that's the story I'll be working on.

The only thing I did find a little annoying was his constant self-correcting. I understand that he would be doing it a lot because he's not used to calling the rat a Pikachu, but I just thought it was a little overdone.

I did wonder about that. *nodnod* I did it every time the pikachu was referred to, and there were times when it did get pretty awkward. I guess after a while he'd be less like to do it--which is why I tried to show him catching himself sooner each time it happened--but I should change it so that he acclimatises easier, just for elegance's sake.

Thanks for the comments~ ^^


greywolf:
First time writing a review here, and I have to say, I'm nervous!

\o/ Welcome~ And don't worry, I don't bite hard. ;3

In any case, after reading them all, I sincerely hope you are writing a sequel! This was definitely too good to stop here, especially with all those unanswered questions you left. Kind of.

Hee, yup. Somehow my stories tend to spawn sequels. XD; This one'll be a chaptered fic, so it'll be a lot longer than this introductory fic, and thus probably won't be out anytime soon. But yup, plenty more to write in this universe (actually, nearly everything I write will be in this universe, just not always lampshaded as being in this universe ...).

I did like the way you worked the story, switching from the present, to that last scene. It gave it a nice stylistic touch, and it avoided getting confusing. A little more space between the more rapid fire one's would be nice, but other than that, I liked that aspect of it.

Thanks. ^^; My main worry with that last chapter was that it was pretty much all exposition. The only way I could think of to break it up was to make the actual exposition flashbacked, with Surge's actual thoughts scattered in between. Glad it worked okay!

Yeah, there were times I did wonder if the other parts moved a bit quickly, especially the penultimate chapter ... that might be solved if I did actually change the fic from a four-shot to a two-shot, though.

As for the mythology, and conspiracy theories, I felt you did a great job tying them all in. Especially liked that little bit about the salem witch trials bit, as well as the mythological creatures. Did a good job tying them in with the main story as well, with Koga using them as evidence. By the way, I also liked Koga's character. Did a good job characterizing him, in my opinion.

Hee, thanks! ^^ That's actually one of my favourite parts too, being able to tie it all up in accepted mythology. There was also never any question that it was going to be Koga telling it to him ... I imagine those two have a rather interesting 'friendship', heh. Glad to know I managed to do him justice, then. ^^;

Then there's my favorite part, the little physics bit. I have to say, I couldn't help but grin at that. Good job of explaining just how things might happen, and how they could hide a place like that.

I'll let you in on a secret: pseudoscience scares me. And yet I always use it. X3; I just like meeting 'magic' and science, I think. I was kind of worried that the explanation was clear and accurate, though ... kept on going back and looking it up to make sure I was still going about it okay. XD;

As for that long explanation you gave, I doubt you'd really run into a lack of room. If they were really in a dimensional pocket, I doubt space would be that big of an issue. Unless your more of implying their not in a separate space, so much as one foot in one foot out.

That's pretty much it, yeah, and a decent way of describing it. It still takes up space, air, geography, whatever on Earth. It's just that it's on a slightly different wavelength ... if it weren't for the barrier it'd probably be like, oh, the vanishing isle; sometimes visible, sometimes not, sometimes 'solid' and reachable, sometimes not hey, there's another myth I can use .... Its 'presence' would be unstable, so to speak, but clear enough that they'd always have people trying to coming in. Having a barrier up means they can remain completely hidden and regulate who gets through and how, even if they're not entirely sure why it works the way it does.

... Am I making sense? o_O

Overall, I really liked it, and have to say, the Ariados bit of last chapter. Giant spiders, just what we need. Now only if this were real, we'd be set.

Oddly enough, I love ariados and spinarak--in the games. In real life, I absolutely hate spiders. XD If they were real I'd freak like Surge did.

Now I hope I did that right

You did fine! ^^ Thanks for the comments, and I'm glad you enjoyed it~
 

Dragonfree

Just me
Hmm. Well, I did feel this part was something of a let-down pacing-wise because, yes, it was all exposition, and even when broken up a little by Marcus in the graveyard, he didn't really do anything in the graveyard, so I didn't feel it entirely made up for it. I was also rather interested in seeing Marcus adapt to life in the Pokémon world and how he came to be a Gym leader, and was disappointed not to see any of that at all.

That said, the writing was still solid, and it definitely did help somewhat to have the exposition juxtaposed with the graveyard scene; it was also nice that it fitted in with the pattern of each part taking place a while after the last. And the explanation worked quite well, though I was amusingly reminded of Negrek's Clouded Sky (don't know if you've read that).

Not quite relevant to the story, but your reasoning for deciding that Sinnoh doesn't really exist strikes me as rather flimsy; well, more specifically, your reasoning for including Hoenn but not Sinnoh, which basically boils down to "Well, Hoenn was out when I was originally thinking of this, and I don't like Sinnoh." It's a very arbitrary distinction, which really bothers me when people are trying to create explanations for anything. There is no part in which Hoenn is specifically relevant to your fanon backstory, and in all respects, your reasoning in fact works somewhat better if you apply it to Hoenn as well as Sinnoh: there are just two regions, which take little space, and one champion. Why is three regions and two champions more reasonable than two regions and one champion? If anything, I'd call it less reasonable; having just one champion over the whole Motherland makes a good deal more sense than two of the three regions randomly banding together for one Champion while the third has its own. :/ It works in the official canon since there we can assume that there are many regions and they ordinarily each have a separate League and Champion but Kanto and Johto, being particularly close together, happened to share, but it becomes kind of strange, or at least it seems so to me, when there are specifically just three regions and they are worried about champions banding together to take over.

And what's up with the Pokémon games existing in the outside world? Would the Motherlanders honestly allow a huge worldwide franchise making all these creatures globally recognizable? Sure, it makes the believers sound even more crazy, but it would make it a lot harder for any witnesses to dismiss what they just saw as a "mutant rat" when it looks just like a video game character, and would definitely make them pay more attention to it. It would at least be quite risky, and it generally seems like an extremely odd decision.
 
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purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Hmm. Well, I did feel this part was something of a let-down pacing-wise because, yes, it was all exposition, and even when broken up a little by Marcus in the graveyard, he didn't really do anything in the graveyard, so I didn't feel it entirely made up for it. I was also rather interested in seeing Marcus adapt to life in the Pokémon world and how he came to be a Gym leader, and was disappointed not to see any of that at all.

The story does seem kind of top-heavy towards the last chapter; that was worrying me slightly since before I posted it. I wish I'd realised I could've posted it in two parts before then; that may solve some of the problem, by making the chapter not just exposition but some of the faster-paced action in the penultimate part as well. Ah well, something to do for ff.net.

As for Marcus's assimilation: originally that was the basis of the story. Then I realised that the concept behind the whole conspiracy was rather complex and could do with an introduction of its own. It did feel to me to be two different stages: Marcus's discovery of the Pokeworld, and then his assimilation into it. I did say for the outset that this was only a short fic, and his adaptation to the Pokeworld is a chaptered project if I wanted to do any credit to it, so it didn't really occur to me that this fic might include any part of that or that there would be assumptions that it would. That is, of course, what the sequel is about, however, so I'm definitely not just going to let the thread of his story drop.


That said, the writing was still solid, and it definitely did help somewhat to have the exposition juxtaposed with the graveyard scene; it was also nice that it fitted in with the pattern of each part taking place a while after the last. And the explanation worked quite well, though I was amusingly reminded of Negrek's Clouded Sky (don't know if you've read that).

Glad it wasn't eye-burning then, at least. X3 I haven't read Negrek's fic, no, but now I'm curious to see what the similarities are.


Not quite relevant to the story, but your reasoning for deciding that Sinnoh doesn't really exist strikes me as rather flimsy; well, more specifically, your reasoning for including Hoenn but not Sinnoh, which basically boils down to "Well, Hoenn was out when I was originally thinking of this, and I don't like Sinnoh." It's a very arbitrary distinction, which really bothers me when people are trying to create explanations for anything. There is no part in which Hoenn is specifically relevant to your fanon backstory, and in all respects, your reasoning in fact works somewhat better if you apply it to Hoenn as well as Sinnoh: there are just two regions, which take little space, and one champion. Why is three regions and two champions more reasonable than two regions and one champion? If anything, I'd call it less reasonable; having just one champion over the whole Motherland makes a good deal more sense than two of the three regions randomly banding together for one Champion while the third has its own. :/ It works in the official canon since there we can assume that there are many regions and they ordinarily each have a separate League and Champion but Kanto and Johto, being particularly close together, happened to share, but it becomes kind of strange, or at least it seems so to me, when there are specifically just three regions and they are worried about champions banding together to take over.

Well, I'm not going to deny that, originally, my motivation was that I didn’t want to use the gen 4 pokémon (the region itself I have nothing against, but given that the pokemon of a generation and its region tends to be linked together, I can't exactly use one or the other in an expected context without actually being arbitrary about the way either of them are used), and I won’t deny that I was working from the regions that already existed—Tohjo and Hoenn. It's not really arbitrary when you consider that, given the development of the idea that had occurred by the time Sinnoh was released, I would still have to have made the choice about whether Sinnoh would be included or not. I initially chose not for reasons which may be shallow, but having since attempted to come up with in-world reason why that could be so, I feel said reasons do make sense in the in-world context (particularly the issue of a limited dimensional geography). Given that what we write has motivation in what we enjoy, whether it's fanfiction or original, our responsibility as writers comes in constructing the world well enough that the readers can believe the choices we make are legitimate. I personally didn't think my reasoning was all that flimsy--I feared it was--but I suppose that's something the readers will have to decide for themselves, and even then they might disagree.

When I said that 'Hoenn was around', however, I meant it with the connotation that yes, its mere presence had already inserted itself into the backstory. I'm not really sure why you're thinking that Hoenn isn't specifically relevant to the backstory given that I gave no reasons for Kanto and Johto being specifically relevant to the backstory, except that they came first in terms of the order in which the games were released. Actually, looking back, I did say outright that Hoenn had its own place in the background fanon: given that explaining that would include spoilers of said background (and the fact that the explanation was long enough already) I didn't think it was appropriate to go off on a tangent to explain what that place was. If you're referring to in-story references to relevance, if anything I gave indications of all three of them being relevant; all three generations have pokemon used as examples of legendary creatures. Tohjo is probably helped by Koga's direct presence there, but given that Hoenn pokemon are also directly mentioned that fact certainly doesn't disclude Hoenn from having a presence in the backstory. In any case, as far as I'm concerned Kyogre and Groudon had a large part in the destruction of the original continent, and the Cave of Origin has an important role in the maintenance of the variance; maybe I should have explained that in my ramble, I dunno, but I'm still a little confused as to where you got that assumption from.

Regarding the two regions 'randomly' banding together to have one champion, I've always figured Tohjo has one E4 group and one champion because of a matter of geography, the politics of feudal borders, and the eventual amalgamation under one government. Just being on the same landmass, and given the existence of flying pokemon to get over the mountain range, I can't imagine that either side would just completely ignore each other as far as their territory goes. Perhaps in the past they did have separate governments and all they did was fight with each other until they combined to prevent mutually destructive civil war, in which case the single champion and E4 would be a matter of tradition following the manner of having a single overall authority over the two regions. Given that it's canon that Kanto and Johto do only have one champion, there must have been some reason in the past for Tohjo to decide to do things like that regardless of how many regions exist, so I'm honestly not sure how having more or fewer regions would affect how many champions Tohjo has.

As for the existence of two champions rather than one, I figure that one person with the potential for absolute authority like that risks a dictatorship: if there's only one person with that kind of power, so what do they have to worry about? Declare martial law and have at it. If there's two of them then if any one of them wants to abuse their power they'll always have to be cautious, knowing there's someone of equal power out there who could interfere. Given that power-hungry people don't generally work well with others for long periods of time, even if they did form some kind of partnership it would at least give the regions' local governments a weak spot to hammer at until the champions were focussed on fighting each other instead of subjugating the public.

Part of the decision, I think, came about because of the assumption to use as much canon as I gracefully could; it didn’t actually occur to me to limit to two regions, one champion. That's why I'd like to include two non-gym-dominated regions--to cover as much of the pokemon world as I can. So having two regions and one champion might be reasonable on a power scale, and it would solve the geography issue, but it's limiting in terms of what canon can offer and it also assumes that the only regions in existence are gym-dominated regions, which limits internal diversity of culture. Setting a cap on the number of total regions, gym-dominated or not, means I can still work with most of the diversity canon has to offer without risking the internal bounds I've already established. So I guess it’s a balance between the power scale, the geographic limits, and how much canon (or what elements of canon) can or could be used.


And what's up with the Pokémon games existing in the outside world? Would the Motherlanders honestly allow a huge worldwide franchise making all these creatures globally recognizable? Sure, it makes the believers sound even more crazy, but it would make it a lot harder for any witnesses to dismiss what they just saw as a "mutant rat" when it looks just like a video game character, and would definitely make them pay more attention to it. It would at least be quite risky, and it generally seems like an extremely odd decision.

Well, the idea was the merge the 'real world' and the Pokemon world as completely as possible, which meant that the real world had to be as ostensibly accurate as possible, which means that the games had to exist. Their existence is more in the nature of damage control than actual allowance, though: by the time the Motherland finds out about the impending release of the franchise, too many people are involved and there's no way they'd be sure of getting everyone. Trying to hide it would just lampshade the fact that there is something there to hide, which would get the people they missed up in arms. So rather than trying, they decide to just work with it as a plausible deniability stunt. True, if someone does see a pokemon they're more likely to look into it, but they'd still need a helluva lot of proof before anyone would even start to take them seriously, and if they raise enough of a fuss they'll just make it easier for the Motherlanders to find them and take care of the problem. As shown by the way they handle Surge and the implication that that's standard practice, the individual discovery of the truth doesn't worry them as much as mass discovery.

A one-shot on this topic is actually pending, but yeah, that's the gist of it. X3
 
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