The Saddened Journey

[SnoringFrog]

The Saddened Journey

This fanfic is about a boy who has lost all of his family to disasters predicted by Absols. Now he hates Absols and seeks to destroy every one of them especially the one he blames for his mother's death.

Chapter 1
One summer evening eleven year old Eric was playing out in a field outside of Retywell Village, his hometown, with his Pokémon, Eevee and Minun. He was rolling around on the ground as a cool breeze blew trough his black hair. He loved summer evenings; he could stay out in the field and play with his Pokémon forever. He continued to wrestle and roll around with his Pokémon, and then he looked up and noticed the unpleasantly familiar white fur and curved horn of an Absol. Its horn was glowing, a sign that a disaster was coming. Like so many other people, Eric saw Absol as the one who brought the disasters, not the messenger that tried to warn people of Ho-oh's wrath. Seeing that Absol enraged Eric, he had lost his father in a disaster predicted by an Absol three years ago. Ever since then, he had hated all Absols and sought to destroy every one he could find, but he hadn't seen any until now.

He started the battle quickly, and intended to end it quickly as well, “Eevee, use take down! Minun use thundershock!” He yelled, he had been training for this day ever since his father died; he wanted to travel so he could find more trainers to battle, but his mother needed him to help around the house and he had already defeated everyone in his town and his Pokémon already knew a lot of hard-to-learn moves,. The Absol dodged the thundershock only to be slammed against a tree by Eevee's take down. The Absol then let loose an extremely powerful gust of wind that sent Minun flying. "No! Minun!" Eric screamed as the yellow mouse-like Pokémon crashed into the ground and fainted. “Eevee use return!" he yelled as he put Minun back into its Poké ball, Eevee went charging at the Absol colliding into its horn with a massive amount of force, breaking the horn, insuring that this Absol would never predict another disaster, but because of the force of the impact, Eevee was injured severely. "Alright, Eevee, c’mon, we’ve almost won! Let's finish this with an iron tail!" Eevee's bushy tail started to glow and hardened as he charged toward Absol, trying to ignore the its pain, but as he neared Absol it countered with a rock smash, causing Eevee to lose it's footing; then Absol crouched down like it was preparing for a skull bash but there was an orange light forming in its mouth. As Eevee stood up Absol suddenly charged at it with amazing speed and rammed it with a skull bash, immediately following it with a hyper beam. The hyper beam had sent Eevee flying straight into Eric, hurling them both to the ground and knocking them both unconscious.

When Eric awoke he saw no sign of the Absol, but off in the distance he noticed an odd funnel shaped cloud. A tornado. Eric stood up, clutching the unconscious ball of brown and white fur that was Eevee to his chest, and ran back into Retywell. "I've got to warn everybody," he thought, “if I don't they will all probably die." He reached his house and barged in the front door, yelling to warn his mother. His mother came running down the stairs and grabbed Eric. "Are you sure it was a tornado?" she asked hurriedly.

"Yes, there's no doubt about it, Mom, it was a tornado."

"Alright, now go down to the basement and wait while I warn the rest of the village."

"But Minun's still out there!" he cried, “But what if you get hurt?”

“Don't worry," his mother said calmly, “ I’ll be alright, just wait here. I’ll come and get you after the storm passes. I’ve got to go now, there’s not much time, I love you, Eric."

“I love you too, Mom,” Eric responded weakly, “Be careful,” he said as he wiped the tears from his eyes and watched his mother run out the door.

Eric went down into the basement and curled up in a corner, still clutching Eevee tightly, trying to prepare himself for the disaster that would be upon the town shortly. After what seemed like days, he felt the house trembling and heard the roar of the tornado as it tore through the town, ripping roofs off houses, shattering windows, slamming trees and streetlights into houses, completely destroying everything. He was so terrified by what he could hear going on outside that he passed out.

Unknown to Eric, while he was knocked out, the young couple George and Hannah Saffron arrived in Retywell. They had come to visit George’s brother, but when they got there, they were shocked to find the town in ruins. George’s brother had just recently moved to Retywell and this was their first time visiting, so they didn’t know their way around town. All they knew is that George’s brother’s house was the only one with a yellow roof. They saw part of a yellow roof nearby and went to check it out. After a short search, they found George’s brother, his body lying on top of his dead Beedrill, its stingers piercing through his chest. It was late in the evening, so they did a brief inspection of the town, but couldn’t find any survivors, and started to leave when they heard a muffled moan coming from nearby. When they went to go see what it was, they found a young boy, probably around the age of nine, lying unconscious under a small pile of rubble. He looked fine except for a small but deep gash on the back of his head.

“What do you think we should do with him, Hannah?”

“I don’t know, I guess we could take him to a hospital,” she answered.

“Yes, that’s right, doesn’t your sister live in Goldenrod City not too far from here? We could take him to the hospital there and stay with her for the night, then tomorrow morning we could come back and get my brother,” George said, picking up the boy and laying him in the back seat of the car.

“That sounds like a good idea,” she said, and then they both got in and drove off to Goldenrod City.

When he awoke, he saw that Eevee was no longer with him, so he went up the stairs to what used to be his house to look for it. It was completely annihilated, the glass from the windows was stuck into the furniture, which was strewn about the room, and some of the chairs had splintered against a wall leaving pieces of wood all over the floor. Eric looked out through the gaping hole where the front of the house used to be and saw that the tornado had destroyed everything else too. He called for Eevee and it came bounding around the corner, happy to see that its trainer was still finally awake. He started too walk around the town to see if there were any other survivors. Everything had been completely destroyed, all of the stores, houses, cars, trees, everything was in ruins. There were bodies strewn about in the streets. When he finally found what was left of his best friend’s house, he began to search for his friend, hoping he was still alive. He found his friend under a fallen wall, his body twisted into a gruesome position, covered in blood from his many open wounds, his blonde hair covered with debris; his neck was broken as well, “No, Tim,” Eric said, crying looking at his friends dead body. He couldn’t bear the sight any longer, so he got up and continued looking through the rubble, hoping to find another survivor. He stopped at one point and began to look around, then a tree branch came crashing to the ground behind him, he jumped at the sudden noise and spun around to see what it was. He could see that there was a body impaled on the branch, but he couldn’t see the face because his eyes were still filled with tears. He went closer and wiped his eyes out to see who it was. What he saw terrified him. It was his mother, he blood covering he body and the branch, “Mom!? No! Mom..." Eric sobbed. As he wept, he took her pendant off her neck and looked into the tear shaped peridot for a moment. "Noooo!" He screamed, “She can't be gone! Why, Ho-oh!? Why did you let this happen!?" He cursed Ho-oh and all Absols, especially the Absol that had predicted the disaster. He looked around and realized that it was getting dark. “I’d better gather some supplies and find a place to sleep,” he said as he placed the pendant around his neck and stood. After he had gathered some food and water, he went back to his basement to try and get some sleep. He cried himself to sleep while thinking of his mom, and Tim and all the great times they had had together.

The next morning, when he woke up, he returned Eevee and went out to look for more supplies, he found some Poké balls and potions and put them into the tattered bag he had picked up. Then he got up and started to head out of the town, he planned to go to Ecruteak, it wasn’t any more than a two hour walk from Retywell, and he needed to get his Pokémon healed at the Pokémon center. As he neared the outskirts of the town, he stopped for a moment to look back at the ruins of Retywell, still not believing that all he knew, his mother, his friends, his entire life, was gone. Then he turned and continued on his way to Ecruteak.

Eric had been walking about an hour when he neared a group of Zubats fluttering around. He watched them as they dove in and out, eating mosquitoes, gnats, and other small insects. It reminded him of all the times his dad had to chase Zubats out of the attic for his mom, “She is- was. She was always so scared of them," he thought, "Was." He tried to prevent the tears from coming but he couldn't. He fell down on his knees, buried his face in his hands, and sobbed.

Eventually he calmed down enough to be able to continue on his way to Ecruteak, but before he did, he captured one of the Zubats. Then he continued on his way, his bitter tears wetting the dry soil as he walked the lonely road to Ecruteak. Everything he knew was gone, all he had were his Pokémon, and his mother’s pendant, a constant reminder of what the Absols had taken from him.

End of Chapter 1.

That paragraph with the couple and the 9 year old is sorta an introduction to another fic I might start, I am curretly working on C2, and it should be up shortly.

 

[Total Shadow]

Wow... that didn't take very long! ^^
I like the parts you added! Keep going with that... stuff!

 

[SnoringFrog]

Here's the new C2! This chap changed alot.

Chapter 2

It had a little over a month since Eric had arrived in Ecruteak, but it already seemed like a home to him. When he had first arrived, he first went to get his Pokémon healed at the Pokémon center. It had only taken a few minutes for Zubat to be fully healed, so he went out and trained Zubat for the rest of the afternoon, battling it against Caterpies, Poliwags, a few young trainers, and other weak Pokémon around the area. When he went back to get his Pokémon and get a room for the night, he found out that all of the rooms were full, so he had to sleep on a couch in the lobby. The next day, he decided to explore the town and try to find a place where he could stay. He didn’t feel right asking some random person if he could stay with them, so he went to an old, abandoned tower. The sign in front of the building read, “Burned Tower,” he walked in and looked around, “Well, it’ll have to do I guess,” he thought to himself. “That old bench over there looks like it would make a better bed than that stupid couch at the Pokémon center,” He thought as he recalled the countless times he had awoken with a thud on the floor the previous night.

For the rest of the day, Eric just walked around Ecruteak, battled some trainers, bought a few Poké balls, and trained his new Zubat. Dusk came upon the town quickly, so Eric made his way to the Burned Tower, sat down on the old bench he had seen earlier, and thought about what had happened the past few days. Just three days ago, he had been wrestling with Tim out in the field, playing tag, and wondering what was his mom was making for dinner. He never imagined that it would all end so quickly, that everything he ever knew would be taken from him so suddenly. It had been hard enough when his dad had died, that was three years ago, and he was just starting to get used to life without him, and now this. He lay down on the bench and tried to close his eyes so that he could get some sleep, but every time he did, he saw the lifeless bodies of Tim and his mother. He wept for hours, he still couldn’t believe they were gone; he finally fell asleep, exhausted.

Later that night Eric awoke. It was unusually cold for a summer night, and he could tell that he was not alone. It was an eerie sensation, as if some otherworldly being was watching him, observing his every move. He wondered how long this had been going on, had it been happening for a while, or did he wake up when it started? He sat up, looked around the room, and thought he saw something move, but when he looked again, there wasn’t anything there. Then, suddenly, the presence was gone, and it began to warm back up. Eric got up and decided to make a more thorough examination of the tower. He was inspecting an odd statue when the floor suddenly fell through. He looked around and found himself in a fairly large room underneath the tower. Ahead of him were three doglike shadows, but when he tried to get closer the Pokémon fled with amazing speed and grace out of the tower, leaving Eric standing there, mystified. Shortly afterwards Eric again felt the presence of the specter behind him. He turned and saw a dark purple Pokémon, with an impish grin on its face and glowing red eyes that seemed to pierce through him and inject fear directly into his heart. It was a Gengar. There was a man with the Gengar; he had a sky blue shirt with yellow on the elbows and around the bottom of it and dark blue jeans. There was a headband the same shade of blue as his shirt in his blonde hair and a necklace composed of two black bands around his neck. He looked at Eric and spoke, “Why are you down here? The only people allowed into the Burned Tower are the caretaker and the elders.”

“Who are you? And why was your Gengar spying on me?”

“I am Morty, the caretaker and bell keeper of both the Burned and Tin Towers, as well as the Ecruteak City gym leader. My, Gengar often comes here to make sure that no one is disturbing them or intruding on their territory.”

“Who are ‘they’?”

“The mystical dogs and servants of Ho-oh, Entei, Raikou, and Suicune, the three Pokémon that you saw fleeing when you arrived and awoke them from their slumber. Come now, you shouldn’t be here, we will talk at the gym.” Morty said as he turned and walked away, Gengar fading away to follow them from the shadows.

After arriving at the gym, Eric told Morty about what had happened to him the past few days, up until when the mystical dogs had fled from the tower. “I see,” you can sleep here in the gym for the night, tomorrow I will take you to someone who I believe will let you stay with her until you decide to continue on your journey.”

The next day, when Eric finally woke up, he went to go find Morty. When he found him, Morty greeted him with a smile. “Eric, you finally woke up! Follow me; I want to introduce you to someone.” He said as he led Eric to a small house not too far away from the gym. “Eric this is Susan,” Morty said, nodding towards the elderly woman who greeted them at the door, “she used to be caretaker of the towers and is a very good friend of mine. She’s a great cook, and she said she wouldn’t mind if you stayed with her for awhile.”

“Hello, Eric!” Susan said merrily, “Come in and sit down. Why don’t you stay too, Morty? I just pulled a fresh batch of cookies out of the oven.”

“I would love to, Susan, but I’ve got to get back to the gym, I’m supposed to give a lecture in a few minutes.”

“Well, okay then,” she said, closing the door behind Eric, “Looks like it’s just you and me then,” she said to Eric as he took a cookie off the plate she handed him. Susan asked him about how he had come to be in Ecruteak, so Eric explained to her what he had explained to Morty the night before.

Eric had trained with Morty three days a week for about a month after that, but then he decided it was time for him to leave. During that time, his Zubat evolved into a Golbat. Its leathery wings grew larger, and the purple on the inside of them darkened, its body became larger as well, and its skin darkened to a deeper shade of blue. On top of this, its fangs lengthened, and two eyes formed near the top of its head. Before he left, Susan had given a weird, gray, half-backpack thing she called a sling pack to replace the old, torn up one he had found in Retywell, a few supplies, and one TM 29 that she said she got from a weird guy in Saffron City that had told her she wanted it. Eric had tried to give it back to her, telling her that none of his Pokémon could use it, but she insisted that he take it, so he finally gave up and stuffed it in his bag. He had then gone to talk to Morty about where he should go next.

“You should probably head to New Bark town,” Morty had said, “it’s southeast of here, they’re accepting registrations for the Johto League there, but New Bark’s to far away for you to make it in one night. So you will have to head to Violet City first, then you could head to Cherrygrove. Then New Bark town will only be about a thirty or forty minutes walk from there.”

“How far is it to Violet City?” Eric asked him.

“It should only take about four or five hours to get there.”

“All right, I guess I’d better get going. If I don’t leave now I might not reach Violet City by nightfall.” Eric said as he walked towards the door.

“Alright, but you better come back sometime and challenge me to a gym match.”

“Sure thing, but be prepared, because you won’t stand a chance against me when I get back.” He said as he left the gym and started towards Violet city, Eevee prancing happily at his heels.

And that’s where he was now, standing just outside of the town, looking back at the old, charred, Burned Tower, and the new, magnificent, Tin Tower. He turned towards Eevee and said, “Eevee, we’ve only been here a month, but it’s already become like a home to me. I can’t wait until we get back and battle Morty for our gym badge. We’ll be so much stronger then. Just you wait and see.” Then he turned and continued on his way towards Violet City.

End of Chapter 2.

 

[Total Shadow]

Yeah, you really did change a lot!
I like how included the doggies. (Me loves Entei, and Umbreon's the best!!!)
.::Total Shadow::.

 

[SnoringFrog]

Here's the new C3! Not much changed.

Chapter 3

As Eric walked towards Violet City, he talked to Eevee.

“Eevee,” he started, looking around at the trees that lined both sides of the path, “how much farther do you think we have to go? We’ve been walking for five hours and still haven’t seen any sign of Violet City.” He looked back over his shoulder in the direction of Ecruteak, but he was too far away to see either of the towers that overlooked the city.

“Ee. Eevee.” Eevee replied with a disappointed frown on its normally cheerful face.

“We are not lost! I’m just- not sure exactly where we are.” He said with a sigh, and then he looked up and noticed a sign a little farther down the road. He ran over to the sign excitedly, hoping it said something like, “Now entering Violet City,” or at least “Violet City 2 miles,” but when he got to it he saw that it read, “Violet City 20 miles –>”

“What the heck!” Eric screamed, “Twenty miles?! That can’t be right, I’ve been walking for five hours, and I still have to go twenty more miles? How fast does Morty walk?”

Meanwhile back in Ecruteak. “Oh stink!” Morty blurted out in the middle of a lecture he was giving at the gym.

“What is it Morty?” One of his students asked.

“Nothing,” he replied and continued with the lecture. “I can’t believe I told Eric that the walk was five hours.” he thought, “that’s how long it took when I rode on my friends Ponyta.”

Back on the trail to Violet City. “Eevee, the sun is starting to set, and we need to find a place to stop for the night. So keep an eye out for anywhere we might be able to sleep, a cave, an old house, or whatever.

“Eevee.” it replied, glad that they were going to actually, not keep walking through the night.

After about thirty-five more minutes of walking, Eric spotted a cave that looked like it would make a good shelter for the night. He went in, took his pack off, and sat down against the wall of the cave to rest for a little while before going to sleep. After he sat down he let Minun and Golbat out of their Poké balls.

“Gol, Golbat.”

“Mi. Minun” The Pokémon cried, happy to be out of their Poké balls.

“Alright guys go ahead and-,” Eric started but was interrupted by a soft, scared, “Teddi?” He looked up and saw a little, ginger colored, bear Pokémon with a white crescent shape on its forehead. It was sucking on its paw, and staring at him with a confused look as if to say, “When did you move in?”

“Wow, a Teddiursa,” Eric sighed, “ I’ve heard that these are supposed to be rare around here, and that the people who do find them usually don’t catch them because of, something, I can’t remember why. Anyways, go, Golbat! Use wing attack!” Golbat quickly flew towards Teddiursa and hit it in the face with its wing.

“Teddi!” the small bear cried as it began swinging its paws about, trying to hit Golbat with a fury swipes attack. Golbat easily dodged and dove in for another wing attack. It connected in the exact same spot as before, knocking Teddiursa to the ground.

“Alright, Poké ball go!” Eric yelled as he tossed the sphere from his hand, the red and white appearing to blend as it spun through the air, but before it reached Teddiursa, it was smacked aside by a large paw. The Poké ball broke apart as it slammed into the granite walls of the cave, and there was a ferocious bellow from the rear of the cave, as a large, russet colored, bear like figure emerged from the shadows. “Now I remember why nobody catches Teddiursas,” Eric whimpered, “It’s because their very protective mothers, Ursaring, are always nearby!” He yelled, jumping up and grabbing his pack, he made a bolt for entrance, but before he made it, the Ursaring jumped out in front of him and let loose another horrendous roar.

“URSAAAA!” the enraged mother bellowed, taking a step towards the terrified intruder that had been foolish enough to enter her cave and attack her cub.

Eric’s heart was pounding, he was petrified, and he couldn’t think of what to do. “Eevee!” he yelled suddenly, “use shadow ball!” Eevee came out from cowering behind Eric’s trembling legs and released a ball of dark energy from its little mouth. The ball sailed towards Ursaring and collided right into the center of the ring on its chest. Ursaring looked at its chest, and then released another bellow, forcing Eric to cover his ears. “How could I forget that ghost-type attacks don’t have any effect on normal type Pokémon,” he thought, “Morty told me that a gazillion times! Alright, Eevee, use return!” Eric commanded. The little fox raced toward the enormous bear and attempted to pound it with its return attack but was stopped by a brutal slash attack to its side.

“Eevee!” it wailed, as it collided violently with the stone wall of the cave.

“All right, Golbat, supersonic! Minun, use spark!” Golbat released an earsplitting shriek that disoriented Ursaring to the point of confusion. Then Minun rushed in, crackling with electricity as it sprung at Ursaring.

“Ursa!” The bear roared as it cut off Minun’s attack with a confused slash, the hair on its arm burning from making contact with the electricity discharging from the yellow rodent’s body. Then Ursaring lost control of itself, gave into rage, and began thrashing about wildly. As it thrashed it violently slammed its muscular arms into the wall of the cave, causing large amounts of rock to fall from the roof of the cave. Minun was struck by one of the falling boulders and knocked unconscious.

“Eevee! Use quick attack then follow it up with an iron tail and hidden power!” Eric yelled, returning Minun while trying to make his voice audible above the din of the destruction going on around him. “Golbat! Use leech life!” Eevee went darting across the floor of the cave, dodging rocks and other debris as they fell from above. When it got close to the raging Ursaring, it lunged and stuck it in the face with its now silver tail. Ursaring wailed in pain and began flailing its arms about wildly, seeking to find the source of its immense pain. Then Eevee’s entire body started to glow with an odd aura, then a ring of small balls of energy formed around it. Eevee fired the balls of energy in all directions, narrowly missing its master’s head, but colliding into Ursaring’s feet, chest, and face savagely, causing it to cry out in pain once more. Then Golbat swooped in, barely avoiding the falling boulders as it got a hold of the back of Ursaring’s neck, sunk its fangs in, and began sucking the life out of the vexed brute.

“Ursa!” The Ursaring yelled as it jerked its head back and forth, trying to remove its attacker from the back of its neck. Finally, it succeeded in reaching back, yanking Golbat off its back, and pitching it at the wall of the cave. After colliding with the wall, Golbat collapsed in a heap on the floor.

“Golbat, are you okay?” Eric yelled worriedly.

“Gol, golbat.” It cried weakly, struggling to get back into the air.

“Can you still fight?”

“Gol,” it replied, finally regaining its place in the air.

“All right, Golbat, use glare! Eevee use return!” Golbat locked eyes with the Ursaring, paralyzing it with sheer terror, then Eevee came charging up and brutally assaulted Ursaring with its return attack, sending Ursaring flying out the mouth of the cave. “Okay, Eevee,” Eric said, running for the mouth of the cave, “Let’s finish it with a skull bash!” Eevee lowered its head for a moment, and then it charged at the Ursaring for all it was worth and collided into its chest with a sickening crunch.

After this, the Ursaring writhed in pain for a moment, and then fainted with one last “Ursa,” exhausted from such a fierce battle.

“Great job you guys, especially you, Eevee. Eevee?” Eric looked over at Eevee and was startled to see it glowing and changing shape. It grew in size as its body became more muscular. Its fur darkened until it was pitch black, and lost some of its bushiness and became smoother.

“Umbreon,” was all that it said. The once brown and white fox was now a sleek, black, animal with golden rings on its legs and ears, as well as one on its head and one on its tail. It was still fox like, but now it had more wolf like characteristics as well.

“Wow, Eevee, you evolved. Now you’re an Umbreon, but I don’t care for that name too much so I am going to call you Shinkage, ‘ the true shadow.’”

“Umbre, umbreon,” it said as it nodded in agreement.

“Alright, Golbat, Shinkage, I think would should get away from here and try to find another shelter before Ursaring comes around.” Eric said, walking away from the cave. Then he turned to Shinkage and asked, “Shinkage, can’t Umbreons learn psychic?” he asked, pulling the TM Susan gave to him out of his bag.

End of Chapter 3.


End of Chapter 3.

If you want to read chapters that have been edited by S:C come here. Only chapters 1 and 2 have been edited, but Chapter 3 should be done in a few days.

 

[Noelor]

Well, I can't stay too long to pass comment, but this is not bad at all. No more cliched than a trainer fic has to be I guess, and though the description is satisfactory at best you're pulling the plot together quite soundly. My one main criticism, and this is just me anyway, is that perhaps at 11 Eric is being portrayed as rather more mature about death than I would expect. Also, when did Minun get back? I don't think you ever explained that. Not much else to say, your grammar slips up in places, but that's nothing a good beta reader wouldn't fix. Anyways it's getting late over here in merry old England, so I'll be off. Best of luck with this.

-DC

 

[SnoringFrog]

Minun was retuned in chapter 1, shortly after being knocked out.

 

[Odem General]

Reviewinggggggggg..........now ok this is good very good, i can see that the chapters are better but a couple of things for future reference um (not trying to sound patronising just that i dont know if you know n stuff)

1 try not to use the same word in the same sentence or repeatedly over a section try and use varied words (you have so dont matter too much)

2 um paragraphs were a good size but try not to let thhemm become to big otherwise people get put off n stuff.

That'll do. Very good keep it up

 

[Nylf]

;330; S'alright. Maybe have him try not catching every pokemon he meets. I mean, he doesn't have a pokedex, so there's no point.

;359; Cut Absol some slack, sheesh.

;373; Description mid, could be better, but it's not bad. Lengths fine and the plot's differant, to say the least.

Omi and Jack have nothing to add.(Well actually Jack does, but he daren't say it for fear of Rayquaza.)

 

[lone_wolf816]

I like how you gave a clearer veiw of chapter 2 and 1!! Good job!!

;197;

 

[Total Shadow]

Wow, you're right; it's practically the same.

 

[Meta Kyogre]

Ok, here's one of the few reviews I have to do. I think this is quite good, interesting plot. As I'm sure some readers have said there could be some more description in places. Length is ok maybe a bit more would be nice but it's not essential. The plot is coming along really well also. I'll try and review more of the chapters as you write them while I'm not staying up way too late watching black adder and room 101. anyway you've got a great fic here so as I always say good luck and keep up the good work.

 

[SnoringFrog]

Chapter 4

"Finally, Violet City," Eric sighed, "Next time I see Morty, I'm gonna' rip him apart. 'Three or four hours,” he said, and look, here I am in Violet City. FIFTEEN HOURS LATER!! And that's not including the battle with Ursaring and sleep," he added. He didn’t feel like trying to make the trip to Cherrygrove yet, so he dropped his Pokémon off at the Poké center and decided to go visit the Ruins of Alph.

Eric approached the ruins slowly, marveling at their size. As he approached the entrance to one of the chambers, he saw a sign. He walked up to it and read it aloud, “Ruins of Alph- Main chamber. These ruins were discovered shortly after the founding of Violet city. Unusual symbols line the walls, but no one knows for sure what they mean. Some people believe that these ruins have a connection with the Tanoby ruins in the Sevii Islands, which have the same symbols on their walls.” When Eric entered the ruins, an ancient, musty smell reached his nose, a sign that these ruins had been here for a very long time.

While Eric was wandering around the ruins, looking at the odd symbols on the walls and wondering what they meant, and who put them there, he had the odd feeling that someone, or something, was watching him. At one point, he thought he saw a dark figure dart out from the shadows behind him, but when he turned around, there was nothing there; so he continued on, constantly listening for any sound, and watching for any movement. He eventually convinced himself that it was just his imagination, and went back to trying to figure out the meaning of the writing on the walls. While he was studying a certain string of the ancient looking symbols on one of the old, dust-covered, walls, he again got the feeling that something was watching him.

“It’s just my mind playing tricks on me again, I’m the only person in here,” he thought as he continued contemplating the meaning of the peculiar symbols, but he could not shake the feeling that he wasn’t alone. No matter what he tried to think about, the haunting feeling still lingered about him. “Maybe I’ll feel better if I listen to some music,” he thought, so he got out his radio and turned it on, but the only thing that would come in was this weird music. “Berrr unt…… berrr unt berent….. berrr unt…… berrr unt berent…..,” over and over and over, with a constant beating of a weird, somewhat drum-like instrument in the background was the only sound he could get. He tried every station he could, but the eerie sound was all that his radio would pick up.

“Ahh! Dangit! Stupid radio!” he yelled as he flung the radio to the ground and stomped it into pieces. “There, now I don’t have to listen to that stupid music anymore,” he said disgustedly, as he turned to proceed with his lonely excursion. However, when he turned he saw four figures levitating in a row in front of him. They resembled the symbols that were located all over the ruins, two of them having one, short, horizontal knob extending from each side of their large white eye and a longer vertical column connected to each of the knobs. Each one of other two had a large circle around their solitary eye, connected to it by a small knob located at the bottom of their eye.

“Eeeeennnnnooowwwnn!” The odd shapes cried.

“Wha- what are you?!” Eric shouted as he rushed past them, knocking them out of his way in his haste to get back to Violet City, away from this terrifying Ruins of Alph.

“Eeeeennoooowwwnnn!” The Pokémon cried again as the boy rushed past. “Why didn’t he understand?” They wondered, “All we tried to do was inform him of the truth, help him, let him know what really happened.”

Eric ran into the Poké center and fell to the ground, “Ow,” he said as he stood back up, “I missed the door,” he went through the door and sat down on one of the couches, panting heavily from his terrified flight from the ruins and his run in with the building.

“Excuse me, but are you Eric?” Nurse Joy asked him.

“Yes, that’s me,” he replied, still breathing heavily.

“Your Pokémon are fully healed,” she said. “I’ll just put your Poké balls here on the counter and you can come pick them up when you’re ready.”

“Okay,” he said, as he walked over to the counter to get his Poké balls. Then he went over to the V-phone (visual phone) and called Morty. In a few moments Morty appeared on the screen.

“Hello, Eric!” Morty said, trying to act as innocent as possible. “I see you made it to Violet City, how are you doing?”

“Don’t you play dumb Morty. You know good and well it’s not a three or four hour walk to Violet City from Ecruteak. It took me fifteen hours to get here, and that isn’t counting sleep or my run in with a very angry Ursaring.”

“Oh, it’s not a three hour walk? Oh, sorry, that must be how long it takes a Doduo or a Ponyta.”

“Morty, you had better be glad I can’t reach through this phone because if I could I would rip your face off!”

“Well, I am glad that you can’t, actually, because I know that you would.”

“Oh, just shut up before I send Golbat up there to beat you to death.”

“You’re Zubat evolved?” Morty asked, relieved to change the subject.

“Yeah, it evolved during the battle I had with Ursaring, and so did Eevee.”

“What did Eevee evolve into?”

“It evolved into an Umbreon and I named it Shinkage.”

“That’s great Eric! Did anything else happen?”

“No,” Eric lied, not wanting to tell Morty how he got freaked out in the Ruins of Alph, “that’s everything.”

“Alright then, I’d better go, I’ve got a lecture I need to prepare for.”

“Okay, see you again later,” Eric said as he punched the ‘End’ button.

Eric had already decided that he wasn’t going to head to Cherrygrove until the next morning, and he still had about two and a half hours of daylight left so he went out to route 31, a path that was mostly located in-between two rock faces, to see if he could find anyone to battle. He didn’t have to search long before he found a brown haired trainer named Tyler who wanted to battle. He was wearing an olive green t-shirt and black jeans.

“How does two Pokémon apiece sound?” Eric asked.

“That’s fine with me. Alright, let’s get this started, go, Hitmonchan!” Tyler yelled.

“Okay then, go, Golbat!” Eric responded.

“Chan chan hitmon,” The muscular, brown Pokémon cried as it punched the empty air with its red boxing gloves.

“Gol!” Golbat shrieked as it flapped its leathery wings.

“Hitmonchan! Use mach punch!” Tyler yelled as Hitmonchan moved with amazing speed towards Golbat.

“Golbat! Dodge up and use toxic!” Eric commanded. The blue Pokémon flew up into the air, just narrowly missing being pummeled by the mach punch. Then it released a dark purple mass from its mouth onto Hitmonchan’s head, badly poisoning it.

“Hitmonchan! Use sky uppercut!”

“Golbat, try a glare attack!” Eric retorted. Golbat locked eyes with Hitmonchan, paralyzing it with its horrifying glare, but not in time to stop the sky uppercut from colliding with its jaw. “Alright, Golbat, Hitmonchan can’t move now so take your time and use razor wind and follow it up with a wing attack.” Immediately Golbat started up a whirlwind and after strengthening it a considerable amount, sent the gust of wind flying at Hitmonchan, simultaneously dashing at the paralyzed punching Pokémon and assaulting it with its wings.

“Hit…mon…chan,” it moaned as it fell to the ground.

“Hitmonchan, return. You put up a good fight, pal,” Tyler whispered to Hitmonchan as it faded away into its Poké ball. “Okay, this one’s for Hitmonchan. Go, Berserker!” He hollered as a round, sepia colored ape with gray bands around its wrists and feet appeared.

“Primape! Pri, primape!” it bellowed as it finished materializing.

“Okay, Golbat. Use aerial ace!” Eric yelled.

“Berserker, use brick break combined with an ice punch!” Golbat rose briefly in the air then sped towards its opponent with unmatchable speed, while Primape reared back its fist, which now had ice crystals forming on it, preparing for an attack. Golbat’s aerial ace collided with Berserker just as he released his punch, pummeling Golbat into the ground. “Alright, Berserker, use thunderstorm!” Primape’s entire body started crackling with electricity, especially his right fist; then he released a bolt of electricity from his body and punched Golbat at the same time a stroke of lightning struck Golbat, enveloping it in electricity and causing monumental damage.

Eric didn’t even wait until the dust that had been kicked up from the brutal attack settled to recall Golbat, he knew there was no way any flying type, except maybe the legendary Zapdos, could have withstood an electric attack of that magnitude. “You did good, Golbat, you deserve a long rest.” Eric said quietly, as he put Golbat’s Poké ball back on his belt. “Okay, I know you’re at a disadvantage but I believe in you, you can do this, trust me. Go, Shinkage. Let’s finish this.” He said compellingly, as Shinkage materialized in front of him.

“Berserker, focus energy, then focus punch.” Primape began to blaze with energy then it pulled back its fist, closed its eyes, and began to gather as much of its energy into its fist as possible.

“Shinkage, use agility and tackle to break its focus then follow it up with a shadow ball-hyper beam combo.” Umbreon nodded and darted towards Primape, slamming it with a fierce tackle attack and then firing a huge mass of dark energy out of its mouth directly followed by an orange beam that pierced through the center of the dark mass just as it connected with Berserkers dazed figure, creating an enormous explosion that sent them both sailing backwards. Shinkage flipped in mid-air and landed on its feet, but Berserker careened into a nearby tree with a sickening thud. Then Eric watched in fear and admiration as Berserker stood back up, ready to continue the brawl.

“Berserker, use dynamic punch on Umbreon.”

“Oh no,” Eric thought, “that’s one of the most powerful fighting type moves there is. What should I do?” Then he got an idea, “Shinkage, use double team and wait until Berserker gets closer. When he does use screech.” Shinkage split into several mirror images of itself and when Berserker was about five feet away from it, it released an earsplitting screech that echoed off the canyon walls and caused Berserker to miss the replica it was about to hit completely.

“Arrgh! Berserker use cross chop combined with fire punch and thunder punch.”

“Shinkage, wait until the last moment then use that new move I taught you.”

“Umbreon,” it replied, signifying that it understood. Then Shinkage simply stood there, motionless, while the raging Primape came charging madly towards it, one fist encased in flames, the other crackling with electricity, both raised high above its head. Umbreon knew that if Primape’s attack hit him, the result would be devastating, but he had complete trust in his trainer, and he waited, preparing to use his psychic attack.

Primape was closing the gap between them quickly, it was twenty feet away, fifteen, ten, five, “NOW!” Eric screamed at the top of his lungs as Shinkage suddenly became shrouded with a blue light, releasing the psychic attack, hurling Berserker backwards almost one hundred feet, and ending the vicious battle.

“Berserker return,” Tyler said, “You did your best, and that’s all I’ll ever ask of you.” Then he walked over to Eric, “That was an awesome battle,” he said, sticking out his hand, “I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

“Thanks,” Eric replied cheerfully, accepting the handshake, “I’ve never seen anyone battle like you did before either. Oh, and by the way, what kind of an attack is thunderstorm? I’ve never heard of it.”

“Thanks,” he said, “Thunderstorm is a combo I taught my Berserker so he could deal with flying types. It is thunder, thunderbolt, and thunderpunch, all at the same time.”

“Wow, do you mind if I use it? I think it would be great for my Minun to learn.”

“Yeah, sure, go ahead and use it. It’s fine with me.”

“Alright, maybe I’ll get to use it in a battle against you someday.”

“Yeah, that’d be cool,” Tyler said, “Well, we probably should head back to Violet City and get our Pokémon healed at the Poké center.”

“You’re probably right,” Eric said, laughing as he they turned to head back towards Violet City.

End of Chapter 4.

All right, not much changed this time either, but it was more than C3.

 

[lone_wolf816]

well it has more description and it was longer? Keep it up and i cant wait for the current chapter!>_<

;133;

 

[Noelor]

Well, this was good, you're very good at writing the action scenes and you have a flair for analysing the possible techniques that could be used. One thing I would warn you of though is that, in the pokémon you're using, you seem to be clichéing a bit. It's not that important when you write so well and use the pokémon in creative ways, but sometimes it does seem a bit idealistic.
Not much else I can say, I look forward to your next chapter.

-DC

 

[SnoringFrog]

Alrighty, here's chapter 5, again not much changed. I probably only changed 50-60 words.

Chapter 5

“Well, I guess this is where we split up,” Eric said, disappointed that he and Tyler were headed in opposite directions.

“Yeah, I hope I get to see you again sometime, I’m looking forward to our next battle.”

“So am I,” Eric said, “And don’t forget, when you go through Ecruteak say ‘hi’ to Morty for me and good luck on your gym battle!”

“Thanks, and don’t worry, I won’t forget.” Tyler said as he headed off towards Ecruteak.

“Bye,” Eric said as his new friend walked off in the direction of Ecruteak. Then he turned and started to head for Cherrygrove City. While he was walking he began thinking back on his time in Ecruteak, his run in with the legendary dogs, his stay with Susan, and all his training with Morty. Then, suddenly, his thoughts ended as a young girl ran into him.

“Oomph!” she grunted as she fell to the ground.

Eric looked down at the girl and started, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going and didn’t see you coming. Here, let me help you up.”

“Thanks,” the girl said as she brushed off her denim skirt and straightened her black top, “Sorry about running into you. By the way, do you know which way it is to Cherrygrove?”

“Yeah,” Eric said, noticing how beautiful the girl was, “That’s where I’m headed, you can come with me if you want.”

“No thanks,” she replied while pulling her gorgeous black hair up into a ponytail, “I prefer to travel alone, and besides, I don’t plan to leave until after dark, and you look like your leaving right now.”

“That’s fine,” Eric said plainly, disguising his attraction completely, “If you change your mind, feel free to come catch up with me, the name’s Eric.”

“Okay, but I doubt that’ll happen,” she said brusquely, “and I’m Kionna, by the way,” she said as she walked off towards the Poké center.

“Wow, she’s hot,” Eric thought while he gazed after Kionna, “But it doesn’t really matter, I’ve got no time for girls. Besides, if she traveled with me she would eventually find out about me trying to rid the world of Absols, and even though they cause all the disasters, I’m sure most other people would object to that way of thinking, so traveling with her or anybody else would just cause trouble.”

Eric walked until almost dark, and then he found an empty cave near a stream. It looked like a good place to stay the night and wash up a bit, so he sat down near the entrance to the cave, took his pack and his mother’s pendant off and laid them next to him, his pack on his left and the pendant on the right. Then he got up and went to go wash the dirt off his face and hands; when he was finished he went to go get some of the food he had brought with him out of his pack and noticed a pair of eyes watching him from inside the cave. “What is that?” he wondered, and began to walk over towards it. Suddenly, a black bird Pokémon with an odd shape that resembled a hat on its head darted out of the cave, taking Eric’s pendant with it. “Hey get back here!” Eric yelled furiously, grabbing his bag and then chasing the Murkrow as it flew away contentedly. Eric pursued the Murkrow for a long time, but then, it went through a group of trees and he lost sight of it. “What the Latias!” he cursed angrily, looking all around for the Murkrow, “How the heck did it disappear like that?” he wondered aloud. Then he realized that he had absolutely no clue where he was. “Crap,” he said disgustedly, “That little creep got me lost. Now how am I supposed to get to Cherrygrove City?”

While Eric was standing there on the mountain trail Murkrow had led him onto, he noticed a rustling in the bushes on the side of the trail.

When he threw a rock into the bush he heard a soft “Ab,” and watched as an Absol came out of the bush, eyeing him threateningly.

“Absol!” Eric said, startled, “This is what I’ve been waiting for. Go, Shinkage! Golbat!”

“Breon.”

“Gol, golbat.”

“Alright, Shinkage, use shadow ball, Golbat, use mean look.” Eric commanded, then Golbat glared at Absol menacingly, enraging Absol to the point to where it would finish the battle, no matter what the consequences might be. “Good,” Eric said, returning Golbat, he was not going to let this one get away. Then he watched as Umbreon expelled an enormous amount of dark energy out of its mouth, sending it hurtling towards Absol with amazing speed, but before it reached him, Absol countered it with a shadow ball of its own. The two masses of darkness collided with a massive explosion, creating a shower of dirt and rocks that rained down on Eric and the two battling Pokémon, making it hard for Eric to see what was going on. Then suddenly, all the rubble started swirling together in a whirlwind, “Oh stink,” Eric said as the whirlwind released all the debris it contained in a sharp wind. He buried his face in his arms to try to avoid some of the rubble, but it didn’t help much. He was still pelted viciously with bits of dirt and small rocks. Because of the high speed of the wind, the dirt felt like glass as it cut into his arms and neck. “Shinkage!” He yelled, choking on the dirt that was swirling around him, “Use take down!”

“Umbreon!” it cried as it stormed towards Absol. Absol jumped over Umbreon at the last second, causing it to crash into the granite wall behind him, creating a large hollow in it and sending more rocks coursing through the air. Then the Absol ran down the wall and pummeled Shinkage with a devastating skull bash.

“Shinkage, use hyper beam.” Shinkage promptly formed a saffron colored orb of energy in its mouth as Absol jumped up to slash Shinkage’s back, and then released it into Absols underside, sending it soaring into the dust-filled sky. “Now, use agility to run up the rock face and use iron tail!” Eric hollered to Shinkage as the black fox scaled the rock face with amazing speed and determination, its tail turning a dull gray color. When it reached Absol, it jumped off the cliff and assaulted it mercilessly with its metal like tail, hurling Absol into the ground with an immense amount of force, creating a large crater. A few seconds later, Shinkage landed effortlessly nearby the tattered Pokémon. “Good, now finish it off with crunch!” Shinkage looked at its trainer with a confused look on its face, the battle was already over, they had won, “You heard me, finish it!” The black fox paused for a brief moment, and then bit down firmly on Absol’s defenseless throat, attempting to end the vile creature’s miserable life, but before it could there was a shout.

“Hey, you! What are you trying to do to the thing? Kill it?”

Eric looked up in quickly, cursed under his breath and said, “You got lucky this time, you monster, but next time you won’t be so lucky, I can assure you of that,” he finished as he recalled Shinkage and fled into the darkness.

Moments later Kionna reached the wounded Absol. “What kind of a person would do this to a Pokémon?” she wondered, as she pulled out a Poké ball and dropped it onto Absol. It pinged instantly, so she picked it up and ran towards Cherrygrove as fast as she could. “I have to get Absol to the center quickly or it will die,” she thought, “I hope I can get it there soon enough, this Absol’s life depends on it. For some strange reason, I feel like I’ve met that person before, somewhere. Ah, never mind, I’m probably just imagining it,” she convinced herself as she continued towards Cherrygrove.

“Aargh! I almost had it! But that stupid girl had to come ruin it at the last second! If she hadn’t come, I could have killed that Absol. Well, it’s over now, I’d better get to Cherrygrove, maybe if I’m lucky I’ll find that Murkrow, and I can get Mom’s necklace back,” he said to himself as he walked towards Cherrygrove City, he hoped.

End of Chapter 5.

Hopefully, I'll get chapter 6 up soon, then I can get on with chapter 7! Yay!

 

[Nylf]

;359; Psycotic Monster! Trying to kill a poor Absol. I aught to send Amidamaru after him just to teach him a lesson!

(Amidamaru)Actual;359; Yeah, no stupid Umbreon could beat me. I've taken down Salamences, Regis, other Absols and almost every pokemon except Rayquaza(Mainly 'cos when S.F. borrowed me to help catch it, he caught it so I can't say I beat it can I. And his Sceptile and Flygon did most the work).

;330; Cina, Amidamaru I always get first post unless you're on your own. Anyway don't mind those two. Great chapters. Really interesting. If Eric and Kionna do end up travelling together, I wonder what he thinks of her new Absol? Hope he has to two-on-two battle alongside it, that would be really good.

;359; That reminds me. Eric and Kionna sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

;330; Cina, please cut it out.

 

[lone_wolf816]

;359; Psycotic Monster! Trying to kill a poor Absol. I aught to send Amidamaru after him just to teach him a lesson!

(Amidamaru)Actual;359; Yeah, no stupid Umbreon could beat me. I've taken down Salamences, Regis, other Absols and almost every pokemon except Rayquaza(Mainly 'cos when S.F. borrowed me to help catch it, he caught it so I can't say I beat it can I. And his Sceptile and Flygon did most the work).

;330; Cina, Amidamaru I always get first post unless you're on your own. Anyway don't mind those two. Great chapters. Really interesting. If Eric and Kionna do end up travelling together, I wonder what he thinks of her new Absol? Hope he has to two-on-two battle alongside it, that would be really good.

;359; That reminds me. Eric and Kionna sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

;330; Cina, please cut it out.

Cina did that iin my fic too! anyway i liked this chapter because it had more description and length!

;197;

 

[SnoringFrog]

(Amidamaru)Actual Yeah, no stupid Umbreon could beat me.

Shinkage;197; I'm not stupid! *attacks Amidamaru*

 

[Nylf]

;330; I know Cina's annoying, but unfortunatly her Amidamaru has a close friend, which is one of my pokemon(IE: he's level 100!)

(Tsunami)Actual ;382;: Right, who's picking on me best mate!? Ah, an Umbreon. Well say goodbye! (Uses Water Spout, mixed with Thunder, mixed with Ice Beam, mixed with Surf)

;330; Sorry about Tsunami, hope Shinkage is okay for the next chapter. Anyway, can I recommend a shipping(I nicked the idea of Cina) and a trainer?

Shipping= Oppositeopinionshipping(EricxKionna)

Trainer:
Name:Richy
Gender: Dude
Description: Brown Haired, with a grey hoody and grey tracksuit bottoms, and a white t-shirt and black trainers.
Pokemon: Espeon(Sun),Umbreon(Set), Blaziken(Cole), Flygon(Sara), Swampert(Glado) and Sceptile(Cong).
Personality: Loner.