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The Saga of Team Supernova (rated PG 13)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by FocusPresenceEndurance, Oct 20, 2007.

  1. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    The Saga of Team Supernova.


    -This story is rated PG 13 for violence.

    -This is a fanfic that I started, and thoroughly developed on the Nsider forums back when it was still active.

    -Having said that I will try to post chapters at a constant rate of perhaps one chapter a week until I catch up with the number of chapters I have so far. So in other words it will take a very, very long time.

    -I might as well say this now, the first few chapters will resemble the story of the game a little, but be assured that it is completely different in the latter chapters.

    -I hope you enjoy the story. Your comments are appreciated.

    Without anything further to say, I give you...

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Saga of Team Supernova!


    It has been told in ancient tales that before the ancestor of almost every Pokemon took her first breath of life, before the continents clashed with the seas in a battle that rocked the world, or before the very universe itself came into existence, there was one Pokemon. Born from an egg amid nothingness, within a void absent of time and space, this Pokemon was conceived. Her name came to be known as the legendary Arceus.

    It is now believed that this Pokemon was the first to ever exist. The legends say that with one thousand arms, Arceus shaped the universe, in the process creating the embodiments of time and space, Dialga and Palkia. Another being was soon to follow. Giratina, the dimensional Pokemon, was born from the chaos of the early universe as it flowed into the torn world. It was with the combined power of these four Pokemon that the universe, as seen in its present form, came into being.

    However, this did not come without a cost. Upon creating the universe, Arceus had spent all of her energy, and needed time to regain her strength. She fell dormant for millions, even billions of years, leaving Palkia, Dialga and Giratina to maintain order. It is thought by some that the energy spent was so great that she would never be able to awake from her seemingly eternal slumber.

    This story, the first story to start all stories, has been passed down from generation to generation, never once being doubted or questioned.

    Now, after the events of the great falling star that threatened the world, something menacing looms over the horizon. The natural disasters, which had finally come to an end, are now returning, wreaking havoc over an already ravaged world. Many questions now surface as the disasters steadily worsen. Why is this happening? How can it be stopped? Can it be stopped?

    There are many questions that need to be answered. But perhaps the biggest question of them all should be, is the world ready to face the answers that are to come, answers that could potentially shake the very foundations of what was once thought of as common knowledge? Only time will tell, and many wonder how much of that there is left…

    List of compiled chapters:

    Prologue: Alone in the Crowd. Before the Beginning.

    Tiny Woods Arc

    Chapter 1: Starting Over Again. Rescue by Mistake!
    Chapter 2: Friend, or Foe? Rival Teams!

    Silent Chasm Arc

    Chapter 3: Disasters Return. Team Supernova Departs!
    Chapter 4: Team Supernova’s First Mission! First Battle… Success?
    Chapter 5: The Missing Sibling. A Look at the Bigger Picture.

    Uproar Forest Arc

    Chapter 6: Special Delivery! Making an Impression!
    Chapter 7: Seeing the Destruction. A Likable Client!
    Chapter 8: Worst Case Scenario! A Desperate Struggle!

    Frosty Forest Arc

    Chapter 9: Dark and Stormy Night. Memories Resurface.
    Chapter 10: Following the Footsteps of Idols. Team Charge-Net Takes Off!
    Chapter 11: Meeting Team Blue. Mix-up in the Mail!
    Chapter 12: Rescue Race! Rival Teams Face Off!
    Chapter 13: A Frigid Battle Goes Wrong! Relief and Regroup.
    Chapter 14: Unexpected Allies! Fighting a Legend!
    Chapter 15: Struggle to Survive! Into the Shadow of a Greater Threat!
    Chapter 16: Best Friend. Dave's Response.

    Mount Blaze Arc

    Chapter 17: A Promise Broken. The Search for a Friend.
    Chapter 18: A Legendary Meeting. Danger on Mount Blaze!
    Chapter 19: A Deep Regret. Hope on the Distant Horizon.
    Chapter 20: Battle of the Birds. A Turn for the Worst.
    Chapter 21: The Tools of Survival. The Pain of Remorse.
    Chapter 22: The Strength of Friendship. Home Sweet... Home?

    Stormy Sea Arc

    Chapter 23: Horror Strikes Home! The Mission out to Sea!
    Chapter 24: Questions Answered. The Punishment.
    Chapter 25: The Search for Team Supreme! The Lord of the Sea!
    Chapter 26: Stormy Times. The Doomed Battle.
    Chapter 27: The Delayed Reunion. A Nightmare Relived.

    Solar Cave Arc

    Chapter 28: Mission Assigned. Saving the World!

    Special Chapter(s)

    Special Feature: The Christmas Mission!


    Alone in the Crowd. Before the Beginning.

    Yet again he found himself at new home, heading towards a new school, in a new neighborhood. He'd have to start life over all over again. He'd have to try to make new friends, and try to get to be a part of the community.

    Tristan thought this as he walked off to his first day at his sixth, no, seventh school. He would have to start things off on the right foot this time. Not like the other times where he had gotten into a fight and made enemies with his classmates.

    It was a cool Wednesday morning, nothing out of the ordinary. The deep blue sky looked as it always did, with some wispy cirrus clouds streaked high across it. As he looked, he wondered what the day would hold in store for him. Perhaps he would have a normal day? What he wouldn't give to have just an ordinary school day, the type that every other student dreaded and took for granted. He never got enough of those.


    Hours later, the bell rang to signal the end of the first half of the day, and the beginning of the lunch break. No one had spoken to him yet so far, however, this didn't surprise Tristan. He was a little above average height for a 16 year-old. People were probably nervous to approach him. It was going to take time to get to know people, though he couldn't say he wasn't reluctant to do so. He wouldn't want to make new friends just to have to say goodbye to them all over again, half a year later. Perhaps he was the one who was nervous.

    Because he joined the school so late in the year, the locker that was assigned to him was at the far end of the hallway. As Tristan walked down the semi-crowded hall, he could see small groups of people sitting on the floor, eating their lunches and talking amongst themselves. Some were ranting, some were laughing. Tristan wished he was a part of it, but for now he would just need to wait.

    As he neared his locker he heard a voice call him from behind. "Hey you!" the voice shouted. "You're that new kid, aren't you!"

    "Yeah? What of it?" replied Tristan, turning around to who had spoken. The person was fairly tall, but rather round. It was also very clear that he was also much older than Tristan, in his senior years at this school. He wore a yellow and red sports jersey underneath a black hoodie, and a black baseball cap that was turned to the side, which covered his very short brown hair. Apparently, this outfit was supposed to make him look cool.

    "So you are the new kid huh?" he asked again. "Well, let me be the first to tell you how things work around here. Any money or stuff you got, you give to me. Ya hear?"

    All Tristan could do was stare. Was he serious? He hadn't even been through the first day and someone was picking a fight.

    "Don't think that cuz this is your first day that I'll let you off easy," he continued. "Gimme everything you got." He indicated to Tristan's pockets and backpack. "Start with the money, and make it quick!" He then held out an open hand, as if he actually expected Tristan to give him anything.

    "Nice to meet you, too," Tristan answered, shaking the bully's hand.

    The bully immediately pulled his hand back, "Don't mess with me! Hand it over, now!"

    "I don't think so," Tristan answered becoming increasingly annoyed. He really didn't have anything of value on him today anyway, but it was people like this that really got on his nerves.

    "Do you want me to beat you up?"

    "Sorry, not interested," Tristan said sharply.

    The bully took two quick glances on either side of him to make sure nobody was looking, then whispered as he drew one arm back, "Looks like I'll need to teach you a lesson!" On the last word he swung his arm towards Tristan, his hand clenched in a fist.

    Without a word Tristan sidestepped just before the punch hit. Moving with the punch, he grabbed for the bully's wrist, then suddenly he stepped towards the bully twisting his arm the other way. The bully was swept off of his feet and landed flat on his back with a loud thud. A few of the people in the hallway gave a startled scream, while most of the others just turned their heads to see the commotion. The hall was mostly silent now as people tried to listen to what was unfolding.

    "There! Serves you right!" Tristan shouted.

    The bully scrambled to his feet, face red with anger, or was it like that because of the way he hit the floor? Either way, he had the attention of all the students in the hall now, and doing anything else would be stupid.

    "You'll regret that!" the bully growled under his breath. He looked around him once more before turning to flee.

    "Yeah, right," Tristan called after him, "you idiots are all the same." As he became aware of his surroundings, he noticed a tall shaded figure leaning against the wall on the side of the hall staring at him. Her body was unnaturally skinny. He could tell this even when she was wearing a heavy jacket with the hood covering her face. There was something about her, but Tristan couldn't place what exactly this was.

    "And what are you staring at?" he demanded.

    The figure jumped in surprise and uttered a few strange words. It didn't even sound like English, just gibberish. A moment later, she also left.

    Tristan gave a great sigh "Already, things are off to a bad start."

    The rest of the day went a little better. Though he did have to stay after school in detention because a bystander who had watched the fight had reported him to a teacher. He did manage to earn himself some more attention because of his little display. Apparently this bully had been bothering a lot of people, and Tristan was the only one who actually had the guts to do something about it.

    But this wasn't any way to be making friends. Sure, people admired him for what he did, but he also made an enemy in the process. It looked like this school would be no different than the others he'd gone to.

    On the thought of friends, he wondered how close he should let people get to him. He reflected this as he walked home. His parents moved so much on business that it was extremely hard to make friends anymore. By now he'd become used to being alone. The fact that he had come to terms with this disgusted him greatly. He couldn't even say he knew his parents very well. Ever since he could remember his parents had never been there for him. They had always left in the early hours of the morning and come home late at night, leaving a babysitter to look after him in his early years. They never had any time for him. And when they were home they never paid much attention to him anyway. It was almost as if they had forgotten about him altogether.

    It wasn't just the fact that his parents moved that made him reluctant to make friends, though. No. When he thought about it, this factor couldn't even compare to the main reason. He had a best friend once. The only person he could ever call a true friend. They had done everything together. It was even almost as if he was the brother that he never had they were so close.

    Dave was his name. His real name was David, but the only name he ever answered to was Dave. One day, in fact, it was exactly three years ago today, Dave had suddenly disappeared without a trace. Nobody knew where he had gone. A body was never found. And in an instant the most important person in Tristan's life was gone. Stolen from him in some cruel twist of fate.

    Reminiscing about his time with Dave, he looked up to the sky. "Oh Dave…" he uttered to himself. "Where did you go?" He felt as if it wasn't only hard to make friends, but it was as if he was never meant to have friends. Maybe they would disappear like Dave did. The thought was too depressing.

    There was a bridge up ahead of him now, which spanned high above a wide canal. This would be the bridge he would cross every day to get to and from school. In the red sunlight, all the buildings beyond had an orange glow to them. And on the bridge, blocking his way stood three figures.

    As he drew near, one of them stepped forward. Tristan recognized this one. It was the bully from earlier.

    "Oh, you again," Tristan said once he had gotten to them.

    "You didn't actually think you'd get away with what happened at lunch did'ya?" the bully asked. He looked confident again this time, not like when fled in shame.

    Tristan sighed. He knew this would come back to bite him.

    "So. This is the guy who made a fool of you?" one of his friends asked. This one wore another hoodie, his hood worn up over a cap.

    "Hmph… think you're all that, eh punk?" asked the other. This one had spiky black hair and several piercings on various places on his face.

    "I'd say it's time to finish what we started," the first bully said, looking between his friends before turning back to Tristan. With that three approached him.

    "Three on one?" Tristan asked. "That's not how the fight started."

    "Like I care!" the bully shouted. By now Tristan was surrounded, there was no getting out of this now. The first bully stepped forward, winding up with another punch. The second he thrust it forward Tristan stepped to the side, grabbing his arm in the process. He then stepped back to back with the bully, elbowing him right in the spine. The bully stumbled forward, but not before Tristan could turn around and give him a side thrust kick just as one of his friends was running up to help him. The result was both of them crashing into each other, both giving startled and painful grunts.

    Tristan turned to the spiky haired bully, who was already charging at him. He swung his arm around in a haymaker, but Tristan grabbed it, and pulled the bully onto his back. With one strong motion he thrust his hips upwards, sending the bully flying past him to land awkwardly on the pavement.

    Now he had to deal with the other two again. He turned around only to see a yellow and red blur before he felt a piercing pain in his gut. He looked directly in the face of the bully, then, followed the bully's arm down. There was something in his hand. A knife! He'd been stabbed! There was already a growing stain of red as where the blade entered his body.

    "S**t!" The first bully cursed, yanking out his knife. Tristan bent over in pain, putting his hand over his wound to try to stop the blood. "Let's get out of here!"

    With this the three bullies fled, leaving Tristan on the empty bridge. By now the sun had set, and there was nobody else who could see him.

    "No," he said to himself, as he stumbled forward. "No, please no!"

    He looked down again. His hands were covered in blood and the red stain on his was much larger. This was not happening! Disoriented, he stumbled forward. Now his vision was going. He crashed into, then over something. It was the guardrail to the bridge. The next thing he knew, he was falling. Seconds stretched out into minutes. His vision became darker and darker. The water was coming ever closer to him until...

    … he blacked out…

    To be continued…
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2010
  2. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    Chapter 1​

    Starting Over Again. Rescue by mistake!​

    “… Where am I?…" Tristan thought, dazed "…what happened?”

    Tristan opened his eyes, blinking a few times as he gazed into a canopy of green leaves overhead. “A forest…? How did I get here?” He stood up to observe his surroundings. He appeared to be in some sort of wooded area. The morning sun glinted through the canopy of the trees as a gentle breeze caused them to sway. Tristan didn't benefit from the surroundings as the bright sunlight flashed in his eyes, making it more difficult to see, especially since his eyes were still adjusting. As he began to walk he thought to himself, “Something just doesn’t feel right. I feel… different somehow.”

    “So, you’re finally up,” a voice came from behind, “What a relief! I was worried you wouldn’t wake up at all.”

    Tristan whirled around at the sound of the voice but there was no one to be seen. There was, however, a very odd looking blue lizard staring directly at him. Looking at it from this distance, Tristan was surprised to see that it was even taller than he was, though for some reason, he did feel oddly short. It had a white V shaped mark on its chest, which stretched from shoulder to shoulder as well as large red spikes protruding from its back. Its large jaws were its most distinct feature, with large teeth that looked like they could crush anything.

    “Who said that?” asked Tristan, looking for the source of the voice.

    “I did.” answered the lizard. Tristan dared to glance back to see the lizard waving happily back at him.

    “… That thing just talked!” Tristan exclaimed, more to himself than the lizard.

    “So?” it asked, offended after being called a 'thing'. “What’s so bad about talking?”

    “How can you talk?” Tristan interrogated, “You’re not human!”

    “Same way you are, I guess,” it answered “Anyway,” it continued, trying to change the subject, “my name’s Totodile. What’s yours?”

    Stop!" Tristan cut in, holding up a hand, "What are you saying, I’m not human or something?”

    “Well, yeah. Is something wrong with that?”

    “I am a human!” burst Tristan angrily.

    “But… you look like a Cubone. Maybe… you need some more rest?”

    “What did you call me?” Tristan asked getting defensive, what the heck was a Cubone anyway?

    “A… a Cubone,” answered Totodile with growing concern, “That is what you are.”

    “No! I’m not!”

    “Yes, you are…” Totodile mumbled. He didn't know how else to respond, he'd never met someone like this before.

    “What? You gonna call me names?” Tristan yelled “Are you picking a fight with me? Is that it?” He put up his fists to fight, or what he thought were his fists. He stared at his claws in disbelief. His eyes wandered down to see the orange wrists they were connected to. “Wh… what happened to my hands?” he exclaimed. He quickly examined the rest of himself. Stubby legs, a thick skull covering his head, a bone in his hand he hadn’t even noticed? “What happened to my body?” he cried in horror.

    Speechless and dumbfounded, Totodile stumbled over his words, an expression of extreme concern on his face, “Are… are… are y-you… going to be… alright? Did you perhaps… h-h-hit your head on something…?”

    “This is a dream! Yeah, that’s it! A very messed up dream!" Tristan concluded, muttering to himself. "I’ll wake up soon!” Without any further thought he sprinted in the opposite direction and disappeared through the bushes and shrubs leaving the still baffled Totodile behind. Tristan was so confused, many questions were now gushing into his head. Where on Earth was he? What on Earth was he? What the heck was going on?

    He could still hear Totodile calling from behind. “Wait! Where are you going!? It’s not safe out there!”

    Tristan ignored Totodile's calls and kept running. Ahead of him he saw a clearing in the trees. He ran even faster, not knowing exactly where his feet were carrying him. He emerged from the woods and into the clearing, still running at a fast clip. It was a small clearing with a very calm and peaceful atmosphere to it. Small white flowers dotted the long blades of grass and now, with no trees to cast any shade, the sun's full warmth could be felt. Tristan, however, had his mind focused on something else. His attention was directed at what had just come into view directly in front of him.

    “A giant hole in the ground!” he thought as he tried to stop himself. He skidded to the very edge of the gaping hole as he struggled to regain balance. “Phew!” he thought, relieved as he glanced downward. He could see to the bottom of this hole, however, it still looked like a big drop. He took a deep breath and sighed, “That was too close. What is a hole doing here in the first place…”

    A sudden jolt brought him back to his senses. Before he realized what was happening, a chunk of the wet, soft earth beneath him gave way and fell into the hole, bringing Tristan along with it. One simple exclamation summarized what was going through his head at that time.



    “Man…” Tristan groaned after a few minutes after the fall. His head was throbbing and his body aching. “… That was a big fall… … I guess this skull ended up being useful for something after all...” he thought as he gazed up to see from where he had fallen. “I might not have made it if it weren’t for this skull…”

    It appeared to Tristan that he had fallen three levels into some sort of cave. He stood up and looked around. The room he was in was empty and there were tunnels exiting three sides of the room, one to the left, one in front, and one behind him. The roots from the trees above could be seen protruding from the walls. As well, in the moist air, mushrooms thrived along the edges of the cave floor. He looked up again; “There’s no way I can climb out. All I can do now is try to find another way.”

    He exited the room, choosing the tunnel on his left, and started to walk through hoping he had chosen the right one. Noises could be heard not far ahead in another room. Tristan focused and listened intently to try to identify the sound. “Crying…? Somebody up ahead is crying…” Tristan thought a moment. “Should I see what’s happening? It’s none of my business… I might even make things worse…” With a shrug he continued walking, thinking, "Oh well, I’ll see when I get there”

    Having come to his conclusion Tristan continued through the tunnel of the strange cave. The crying ahead continued, soft and bitter, but soon the cries of sorrow quickly changed to cries of panic and fear. Tristan quickened his pace and went into an all out dash when one cry for help resounded throughout the tunnel.

    “No! Leave me alone! Somebody help me!”

    “Somebody’s in trouble!” Tristan thought as he sprinted through the tunnel, the end coming into sight, “Should I really be doing this? Am I doing the right thing? But I can’t just do nothing!”

    The room came into view. He could see commotion going on inside. Finally he entered and the scene spread out before him. There were two figures in the room. The larger figure was a bird-like creature with red wings and brown feathers on its head and tail. This wasn’t the one that had called for help.

    The other figure was a small mouse-like creature. However, it was a very strange looking mouse. It had blue ears, blue circles on its cheeks, and a very strange blue tail. Both the cheeks and the tail resembled minus signs. The bird struck the mouse hard with its wing and, with a cry of pain, the mouse flew over and hit the ground near Tristan’s feet. The small creature already had a black eye; it wouldn’t be able to last much longer. Tristan knew that if there was a time to act, it was now.

    “Hey! Stop that!” He yelled, making his presence known.

    Noticing Tristan the bird turned to him and snapped, “Don’t interfere!”

    “Give me one good reason not to!” he yelled back.

    “This is none of your business!” the bird spat.

    “Oh yeah? Well I’m making it my business! Now what’s going on? Why are you attacking this little guy? What did it do to you?”

    “Do I need a reason?” replied the bird coldly.

    “For me, yes!” Tristan shouted back, stubbornly stomping his foot against the cave floor.

    “In that case,” The bird snarled, “for the same reason I’m about to kill you! SPEAROW!”

    “You there!” Tristan addressed the mouse, which had finally managed to rise to its feet. “Get behind me!”

    “Yessir!” it answered quickly, and instantly followed Tristan's order.

    “You’ll regret getting in my way!” called the Spearow as it went into a dive right towards Tristan.

    “How do I fight like this?” Tristan thought, trying to figure out what he could do in his current form. Time though was running short. “Wait! I’ve got some heavy-duty armor on my head! And it saved me before!” The Spearow was closing in fast; its sharp beak aimed right at him. Tristan lowered his head, and timed himself for just the right moment. “Now!” he thought as he dived toward the oncoming Spearow.

    The Spearow gave a cry of pain as its beak met Tristan’t solid, rock hard skull. The bird was struck clean out of the air, and crashed into the cave floor where it rolled to a stop.

    “Now I’ll use this thing!” Tristan thought, clutching the bone in his hand. He found himself becoming increasingly excited. Being a... Cubone was it? Being a Cubone wasn't as bad as he thought. It was as if this body was built to fight.

    “Now I’m mad!” squawked the Spearow as staggering to its feet. Tristan was shocked to see blood trickling down its face from the force of the impact. Had he really hit it that hard? “I’ll make you regre-”

    Tristan didn’t wait for the bird to finish. The bone spun through the air, and with one dull clunk to the head, the bird was out cold. Still standing, it swayed from side to side until gravity took hold of it, causing it to collapse in a heap on the cave floor. Tristan stood in front of the collapsed bird and scolded, “There! Serves you right!”

    “Wow!!” came a small voice from behind. “That was so cool!” Tristan turned around, remembering the small mouse he had protected. “Thank you so much for saving me sir!”

    “Uh…” Tristan answered awkwardly. “It was nothing.”

    “My name is Minun!” The mouse squeaked cheerfully. “What’s yours?”

    “Oh, my name?” Tristan was never good at giving his name. It always felt strange coming from him. He looked in the other direction and quickly answered, “It’s Tristan.”

    “That’s a nice name!" Mimun replied with a smile. Suddenly, Minun jumped at the sound of noise elsewhere in the cave. He glanced around nervously and asked, "Do… do you think you could help me get out of this cave? I’m too scared to do it on my own.”

    “Sure thing,” Tristan answered. “I was on my way out anyway, just stay close to me.” Tristan was still a little confused about what was going on. But for now, he thought it would be best to focus on the task at hand. It didn't take long before the exit of the cave came into view. The sunlight was a very welcoming sight to both of them.

    “Yay!!! We’re out!" Minun cried as he danced happily! "Thank you so much, mister!”

    “Like I said,” Tristan replied. “It was nothing. I didn’t really do all that much. And you can call me Tristan, not Mister.” Tristan did feel pleased, though, to see that… Minun? Was what it called itself? He felt pleased to see Minun so happy.

    Ahead of them was the same clearing Tristan had dashed in earlier. This time he would be sure to watch his step so he wouldn't fall in the hole again. Now in the clearing, new voices could be heard.

    “So this is the cave, is it?” one of the voices asked.

    A high pitched voice similar to Minus’s answered, “Yes! Yes! This is the cave! Minun and I were playing catch; he didn't see the hole when he was walking backwards. I tried to warn him, but by the time he heard me, it was too late! Please, is there any way you can save him?”

    “Don’t worry Plusle,” an airy, feminine voice answered. “We’ll bring your friend back safe and sound.”

    The first voice spoke again with a tone of pride; “We are a rescue team after all!”

    A fourth voice then spoke, "Ooh ooh, ah ah! You can count on us!"

    Tristan looked at Minun, “That’s you they’re talking about, isn’t it?” he asked.

    “Yes, I can hear Plusle! I need to tell him I’m safe!” With that, Minun dashed into the clearing, Tristan followed at a slower pace. Minun shouted at the top of his lungs, “Plusle!”

    The group near the hole turned to the two approaching Pokemon. “Minun!” Plusle cried, “You’re safe!” They met in the middle of the clearing. “I was so scared! Ah! Your eye! What happened to you?”

    Tristan walked up a short distance behind the two, making sure not to intrude on this little reunion. “I got attacked by a Spearow.” Minun answered. “But I’m fine now, everything ended up being alright in the end! That is, thanks to Tristan!" he stepped aside so Plusle could see Tristan. "He saved my life!”

    Tristan wasn't sure how to respond. He hated being put on the spot like this. What would he say? He didn’t do anything special, he just did what he felt was right! Anyone else would have done the same in his position!

    “Er… I, uh… Hi?” was finally the end result of the whirlwind of thoughts in his brain.

    "Heehee!" Plusle laughed, "He's funny!"

    To be continued…
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2010
  3. Psychic

    Psychic Really and truly Staff Member Moderator

    I've decided not to lock this one, however it is strongly advised that you read the rules asap, as they're a lot stricter than those at NSider.

    ALSO, a word from the wise: if you want readers, posting twice a week will strongly discourage them from reading. Updating too fast will make people less likely to try to keep up, and even if they want to and intend to write long reviews, you won't be giving them enough time to do so. Plus if they're unable to reply for a week, they'll have a good bit of catching up to do.

    My advice: one chapter at least every week and a half, if not every two weeks. That way nobody will feel rushed and you'll be able to edit the story at your leisure as well. No need to rush art, my friend.

  4. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    I'm sorry. I thought I read all the rules. I thought the intro would suffice. I guess not though. Anyway I fixed the problem. Thanks for warning me (and not locking this).
  5. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    Chapter 1 has been edited in.

    Next chapter coming up next week.

    Also, I will also show the title for the next chapter to come every week as well so perhaps people can have something to look forward to. Anyway, Enjoy!
  6. Apotheosis

    Apotheosis Seeker of Truth

    You switched the vowels in Arceus (you put Arcues) once in the prologue, but other than that it is as good or better than the original. I'll be sure to keep watch, although it will be quite some time before you catch up to where you were, won't it?
  7. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    I can't believe I let that slip. Thanks for informing me, I fixed it as soon as I could.

    Quite some time to catch up is kind of an understatement. I don't think I'll be writing any new chapters for quite some time. But I do get a chance to edit old chapters, which is also something I've been wanting to do, so I guess it evens out then.
  8. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    Chapter 2

    Friend, or Foe? Rival Teams!

    “Berries?” Tristan asked as he stared blankly down at the contents in his hands. What was he supposed to do with a bunch of berries?

    “I know it’s not much,” Plusle said, looking down in shame. “This was all I could find in the short time I had when trying to find a rescue team… But I hope you’ll accept it.”

    Tristan looked between Plusle and the berries in his hand. Shortly after Minun and Plusle were reunited, Plusle had reached for a small cloth bag on the ground nearby. From it he pulled out the berries and they both insisted he should take them. There were eight in total; some of which were round and blue in colour, while the others were heart-shaped and pink. What did they call them again? Oran berries and… pecha berries?

    He wasn’t even expecting a reward to come from this to begin with. He was just happy that Minun was safe with his friend again.

    “It’s not enough… is it?” Plusle asked sadly. “I tried my best I really did!”

    “No wait! This is perfect!” Tristan answered hurriedly, trying to calm the electric mouse down. “Thank you, I really appreciate the gift. I’ll be sure to put them to good use!”

    “See?” Minun said, clapping Plusle over the back. “Isn’t he the best?”

    Plusle had to take a few seconds to wipe away the tears he had worked up, but the instant after he had done that, his emotions seemed to flip like a coin. “Absolutely! Thank you Tristan!”

    Tristan had to make an effort to mask his discomfort. Was he the only one who thought it was strange to be thanked for accepting a reward?

    “Oh crap!” Plusle cried. “I completely forgot!”

    “Forgot what?” Minun asked.

    “Caterpie is waiting for us! That was why we were heading this way, remember?”

    “Oh right! You think he’s mad?”

    “I dunno, but if he is we’ll just make it worse the later we are!” Plusle said. He then turned towards Tristan, then the Pokemon who had accompanied him here. “We gotta run! Thanks for helping us!”

    Minun gave extra attention to Tristan before leaving. “Y-you’re so cool! I won’t forget you! You know, ever!”

    With that the tiny duo left the scene. Tristan watched as they vanished behind a bush at the edge of the clearing. Well, now that that was over… what was he going to do now? As he wondered this, several of the berries slipped out from their precarious position in his hands and fell to the ground.

    “Need help with those?” a voice asked. “We can hold on to those for you." The voice belonged to one of the creatures that had accompanied Plusle. There were three of them, each one looking vastly different from the next. Up until now Tristan hadn’t gotten the chance to pay much attention to them. Now that he had time, he took a moment to examine the newcomers.

    The one who spoke was in the middle, standing further forward than the rest. He was a muscular creature, with bluish gray skin. He walked on two legs, giving him an almost humanlike appearance if it weren't for his short tail. The most distinctive feature was his three metallic formations protruding from the top of his head.

    On his left the second of the three creatures hovered close to the ground, with what seemed to be thick, flowing black hair with pink tips. She wore a necklace of large blood- red pearls around her neck. To the right was the third creature, which appeared to be a purple monkey with what looked like a giant third hand on the end of his tail. He had large round ears, as well as a wide mischievous grin spread across his face.

    “They’ll be safe in our toolbox,” the middle creature spoke again, motioning towards a blue and black box on the ground behind them.

    “Oh that’s alright,” answered Tristan waving it off. “Don’t worry I’ll figure something out. Thanks anyway.”

    The blue-grey creature watched with skepticism as another berry fell from his grip. “You sure you’re all right? You know it is quite a while getting back to the village. At least let us help you get your stuff there. I insist.”

    “What village?” Tristan asked in confusion.

    “You’re not from around here are you?” the hovering creature asked with a giggle. “There is a village not far from here. It was originally named Clifftop Town. But nobody calls it that.”

    “Ohh, ohh! Ah, ah! Everyone just calls it the Rescue Village!” the purple monkey chimed in. “Cause its where all the Pokemon rescue teams go!”

    Pokemon? Rescue teams? What was all this? He’d never heard of any of this before. It all was hard for him to follow.

    “So how about it?” the muscular creature asked.

    Tristan looked down in his hands. Half of them had fallen to the ground. He really didn’t know how else he was going to carry them. “All right,” he answered with a sigh. “Thanks for the help.”

    The muscular creature assisted in picking up the berries on the ground as the purple monkey opened the toolbox for them to put the items inside. Once they were finished the box was snapped shut and several looks were exchanged between the three creatures.

    “Now I think it is my turn to thank you,” the blue-grey creature said with a grin. “Sucker!”

    It took a moment before Tristan realized what just happened. “What’d you say?”

    “You heard me! That reward doesn’t belong to you! It should’ve been ours!”

    Tristan was taken aback, there was no way they deserved the reward. “What do you mean?” he asked angrily. “I’m the one that saved that Minun! Who do you think you are?”

    “Hehe,” the creature chuckled. He cleared his throat and stated, “The name’s Machop! Know it! Fear it!”

    “Ooh, ooh! Ah, ah!” The monkey chanted, bouncing up and down on his hand shaped tail. “I’m Aipom!”

    “And I…” the third member of the trio stated in her airy voice, “am Misdreavus!”

    “And together,” the three announced in unison, pulling out small blue and black badges featuring small white wings. “We’re known as Team Supreme!”

    “So,” Tristan growled, pointing his bone at the three of them, his anger rising. “You’re a bunch of thieves?”

    “Now, now.” Machop replied calmly, hands on his hips; “I wouldn’t be the one pointing fingers if I were you.”

    “Ooh, ooh! Ah, ah! After all, you’re the one who stole our mission in the first place!”

    “And we would have received that reward and taken the credit if it weren’t for you!” Misdreavus finished.

    “Well excuse me for living! Its not like I chose to fall into that hole!” Tristan yelled. “And what else was I supposed to do when I saw Minun in danger? Just stand and watch?”

    “We all make mistakes,” Machop said with a shrug. “So, to make up for your little blunder, I’d say this is a fair trade.”

    “That’s hardly fair!” Tristan shouted. “You should be paying me for doing your rescue!”

    Misdreavus gave Tristan a threatening look; “You’re in no position to negotiate with us.”

    “Ooh, ooh! Ah, ah! After all, there are three of us, and only one of you!”

    “Now back off you damn faker!” Machop finished pointing accusingly at Tristan.

    “Faker?” Tristan yelled back. They had some nerve to steal from him, then call him names. “And how am I a faker?”

    Machop pointed at Tristan again. “I saw you in the forest! When you were talking to that idiot of a team leader, Totodile! You think you can become some great hero if you go around telling people you’re a human?”

    Tristan had no idea where to begin. What was he talking about? “B-but it’s tru–“ he began.

    “Yeah right!” Machop cut in.

    “Ooh, ooh! Ah, ah! Don’t think we don’t know what you’re up to! You’re trying to take the credit of saving the world away from Team Blue!”

    Now Tristan was even more confused. “Team Blue?” he asked, tilting his head.

    “Don’t play dumb with us!” Misdreavus snapped. “You know exactly what we’re talking about!”

    “And to think someone would go so low as to mock Team Blue,” Machop said as he shook his head shamefully. “I’ll bet you don't know the hardships they went through! Have you no respect for their leader? If only he were here now, he’d give you a shocking time that’s for sure!”

    “But… I still don’t know what’s going on.” Tristan said again hopelessly, trying to get through to them. “I haven’t done anything wrong!”

    “You keep this up.” Machop growled, cracking his knuckles. “And we might just have to shut that little mouth of yours for good.”

    “Ooh, ooh! Ah, ah! Which brings us back to three against one!”

    “Make that three against two!” a female voice called out from the surrounding forest. Tristan spun around to see where the voice had come from, or more importantly, who had spoken. The trees and bushes, however, provided many places to hide. It was impossible to see her.

    Another voice called out from somewhere else. “Now make that three against three!” Tristan recognized this voice as the blue reptile from before.

    “Hey!” Machop shouted. Team Supreme was apparently having just as much trouble locating the voices as Tristan was. “Come on out and show yourselves!”

    Suddenly, a jet of water came from a nearby bush, striking all three members of Team Supreme. Caught off guard, all three were sent tumbling to the ground. Machop skidded back onto his feet where he took a defensive stance. Aipom bounced on the ground with his giant hand and landed somewhat smoothly back on his feet. Misdreavus quickly did a midair spin to maintain her balance before joining her teammates. Soaking wet, they fixed their eyes on the bush from where the attack had come.

    The reptile Tristan had met earlier stepped into view accompanied by another creature. This time she had the appearance of a small orange bird with tiny yellow wings and a small yellow beak. She also had three large yellow feathers that stuck out of the top of her head.

    “Machop,” Totodile began in a surprised tone. “I’m shocked that you of all people would go as low as theft.”

    This time it was Machop's turn to get angry. “What do you know? Butting in like this! You don’t understand a thing!”

    “Oh we know!” The bird exclaimed. “We know all right! We saw the whole thing! Tristan totally deserves those berries! Don’t give us this ‘we don’t know what we’re talking about’ stuff!”

    All of this was just over a handful of berries? Tristan glanced over at Team Supreme's toolbox. They couldn’t be this important could they?

    “Totodile!” Machop yelled, “You of all people should see him for the disgrace of a Pokemon he is! After all, you heard his lies first hand!”

    “We’re willing to back him up,” Totodile said glancing over at the bird for support. “Isn’t that right Torchic?”

    “You bet!” the bird replied confidently.

    “You can’t be serious…” Misdreavus said.

    “Ooh, ah?”

    Tristan, too, was stunned. Just a short while ago it seemed that Totodile hadn't believed him either. So they did believe him now? He felt a slight twinge of guilt as he remembered how rude he’d been. Why would he come to Tristan’s aid?

    Machop was the only one who didn’t seem fazed. “Heh.” he snickered, placing the tips of his fingers to his temple then removing them as he spoke. “So, you’re going to side with the faker!”

    “It’s still not right to steal!” Totodile replied.

    “You’re just using this ‘faker’ thing as an excuse to change the subject!” Torchic stated.

    “Ooh, ooh! Ah, ah! Maybe it’s you guys who are changing the subject!” Aipom accused, his grin as wide as ever.

    “Are you just going to blindly believe this guy’s pathetic story?” Misdreavus asked. "I mean you don't even know the guy!"

    “… Well-” Totodile began, trying to find his words.

    “Is that hesitation?” Machop interrupted, excitedly. “Figures. It’s a shame, too. I thought you would make a satisfactory rival." He shrugged. "I guess I was wrong." He turned back to his team. "Come on, we’re finished here!” With that, Machop picked up the toolbox and the three members of Team Supreme departed, leaving Tristan, Totodile and Torchic behind in the clearing.

    “Sheesh!” Totodile exclaimed. “Some people!”

    “Tell me about it!” Torchic replied.

    “What about the berries?” Tristan asked.

    “Well… we’ll get back at them for it,” Totodile said hopefully. “They'll see!”

    “No doubt!” Torchic agreed.

    “Anyway, your name’s Tristan, right?” Totodile asked. Tristan nodded slowly. Totodiled grinned back at him. “You should have said so back when we met in the forest. I wouldn’t have called you Cubone.”

    Tristan wondered whether he should have corrected Totodile on that. He didn’t run away because this creature called him the wrong name, he ran because he was scared and confused. He still was, he had so many questions. He looked down at his hands, then back at Totodile. “So that is what I am? A Cubone?”

    “You honestly don’t know?” Torchic asked.

    “It’s fine, it’s fine,” Totodile said to Torchic. “Yeah, you’re a Cubone. And I’m Totodile, but you probably already knew that.”

    “My name’s Torchic," the bird chirped.

    “And together,” they announced, just as Team Supreme had. “We’re known as Team Supernova!”

    “Well,” Totodile added to the side. “We’re not actually known by many Pokemon yet. Make that nobody knows about us… But we’ll be great one day!”

    “So you’re a rescue team, too?” Tristan asked. "What’s up with all these rescue teams anyway? And what’s a Pokemon?"

    “Seriously?” Torchic asked.

    “Ahem!” Totodile coughed, while giving Torchic a rough nudge. “Well, you’re a Pokemon of course! And so are we. In fact, everyone you met so far and every creature that lives in this world is a Pokemon. That’s really the simplest way to put it. As for the rescue team thing, we’ve actually only just started. We haven’t really done any missions yet. Many teams like us are springing up in response to the natural disasters that have been happening lately. There are many Pokemon that need help now, and we want to do what we can to help too!”

    “Say!” Torchic said. “You saved Minun all by yourself, right?”


    “So, our team is short a member. How about it? Join Team Supernova! You could help us rescue other Pokemon from natural disasters! You don't seem to have much to do anyway."

    “Hey! I was just thinking that too!” Totodile exclaimed. “I guess great team members, think alike!”

    “Um… yeah… whatever you say. Anyway, what do you think?” She asked.

    She had a point. He really had nothing to do and no place to go, and it really wouldn’t hurt if he joined a group that dedicated themselves to rescuing others, in fact, he would probably enjoy it. After all, it felt pretty good saving Minun like that. Why not?

    “Sure,” Tristan said with a grin. “I’ll join your team.”

    “Great!” Totodile exclaimed. “Welcome to Team Supernova!”

    “Here you go!” Torchic added handing Tristan a badge. “It’s to show that you’re a part of a rescue team.”

    “Cool,” Tristan replied. It was similar to that of Team Supreme’s in that it featured small white wings, but this badge was red and yellow. All three of them stood there for a moment. “Um… now what?”

    “Well… why not go to the village.” Totodile suggested. “No wait! First, let’s show you out team base!”

    “So you really do believe me, that I am a human?” Tristan asked, as he began to follow Totodile's lead.

    “Well... sorta.” Totodile explained. "I mean, with the way you were acting when we first met.”

    “And the way you were defending yourself against Team Supreme,” added Torchic. “You either were telling the truth, or you got knocked around a little while you were in your egg.”

    “Oh yeah, and which one do you believe right now?” asked Tristan.

    “I’d say I’m leaning towards choice number two right now!” Totodile teased.

    “Yep, me too,” Torchic agreed.

    “Hey!” Tristan yelled, offended.

    “Relax, relax we’re joking," Totodile said, still laughing.

    Tristan wasn't amused. “Not funny!" he said crossing his arms, and looking the other way. A moment later he realized that Torchic and Totodile were leaving him behind, "H-hey don’t leave without me! Hey!”

    “Keep up with us if you can!" Totodile called back.

    “Okay then here I come…” Tristan shouted back taking up the challenge.

    And so, the newly completed rescue team, Team Supernova, with Tristan as their newest member, departed the clearing. All three of them blissfully unaware of what fate held in store for them, and the inevitable destiny to which they were now bound. Though they didn’t realize it, it was within these moments that their tale truly began. Many challenges would await them, challenges that would test their strength, willpower and friendship. Will they be able to overcome the trials that are to come? It is an answer that only Arceus knows…

    “Here we are!" Totodile stated proudly, now on the outskirts of the village. "Our team base!”

    “What do you think?” Asked Torchic.

    Tristan gazed in awe. He couldn't help but think that this base was made just for him. It wasn’t fancy or anything; in fact it was quite modest, being a dome shape made up of many smaller rocks with spaces for two windows and a door. The front yard was fenced off with boulders that stuck up from the ground, and at the entrance to the yard, where the cobblestone walkway met the dirt path; there was a simple beige mailbox. There was something about it that made Tristan feel as if he could live in it in an instant.

    "It's... it's..." Tristan said trying to find his words. “It's perfect.”

    To be continued…
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2010
  9. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    Chapter 3

    Disasters Return. Team Supernova Departs!

    “Mmmmmm…" Tristan mumbled, as he blearily he opened his eyes. Something had disturbed him from his sleep. He slowly gazed around, still drowsy as he thought “What the…” Surrounding him on all sides was a misty light green haze. Other than that there was nothing to be seen. He couldn’t even tell what he was standing on, for there didn’t seem to be anything beneath him. “A… dream? No… couldn’t be a dream. If this were a real dream I wouldn’t be thinking this was a dream… But still… where the heck?” Something about this place, however, did seemed comforting. “Hang on…” Tristan thought, straining his ears. He wasn’t alone. Coming from somewhere in the empty space was a very dim and faded voice, so quiet that it was impossible tell what it was saying. “Hello!? Is someone there!?” He called out. But there was no response. Soon the mysterious voice began to fade away, and it was silent once more.


    Tristan awoke with a start, finding himself soaking wet in freezing cold water. He raised his head from the straw bed to find that water had been dripping from a leak in the ceiling. Looking out the window he could see that the sky outside was clear and a brilliant blue. There wasn’t a single cloud to be seen.

    “So, c… c… cold.” He thought, shivering from head to toe as he lifted himself out of bed and progressed to dry himself off. “And that dream… what was that?”

    Tristan took a look around the room of the base for Team Supernova. Having had no place to stay that night, Tristan didn’t know where he would go, or what he would do. Totodile and Torchic, his newly met friends and team-mates, offered him shelter in their team base, and told him that he would be able to stay for as long as he needed. It looked bigger from the inside than it did from the outside. To the left was a rock jutting up from the ground with a few tiny plants growing on top of it. To the right was a basin full of water, as well as a wooden table surrounded by a couple of small wooden stools. On top of the table was a bowl full of apples. The room was bright because of the light let in by the large windows of the base. “I could get used to waking up in a place like this,” Tristan thought absentmindedly, “Minus the leak, of course.”

    Grabbing an apple on his way out, he exited the room into the morning air. It was still early in the day, yet, already it felt warm and humid. He walked to the end of the cobblestone path to a point where it met the main dirt road. Torchic was heading in his direction. “Morning, Tristan!” Torchic called out as soon as she spotted him.

    “Morning, Torchic,” Tristan replied, as she arrived.

    “You sure are lucky, you know that?” she mentioned, “I wish I could’ve slept indoors last night.”

    “Why’s that?” Tristan asked.

    “You’re kidding, right? You didn’t hear the storm last night?”

    “I guess not,” he admitted, though it did explain how the leak in the ceiling had formed. “I suppose I’m just a heavy sleeper. Anyway, what was so special about it?”

    “Where should I start?” she pondered, “Well, to begin with, the wind was howling so strongly that I thought for sure Scorched Plains would be snuffed right out. There wasn’t a moment last night when I didn’t see at least one bolt of lightning streaking across the sky, and I can tell you I was practically deafened from the thunder.” Torchic took a moment to take a deep breath, “And you can forget about asking about the rain.”

    “What about the rain?”

    “I’ve never seen it come down so hard! And it wasn’t just raining sheets. I could’ve sworn that I saw Magicarp and Remoraid falling from the sky as well. It was awful, just awful!”

    “That sounds harsh. Are you alright?”

    “Yeah, I was able to keep dry. I’m just a little tired from being kept awake, I’ll be fine, though.”

    “Speaking of rain,” Tristan asked, “Where’s Totodile?”

    “Oh, he said he would meet us in the village," Torchic explained, “He’s there already, gathering all the supplies so we can go on our first rescue mission. He was so excited he could hardly contain himself, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing all the work, he’s so thrilled. I thought that I oughta put that energy toward something useful.”

    “Heh,” Tristan chuckled. “You’re terrible, you know that?”

    “I’ll take that as a compliment,” Torchic replied with a giggle, “Now, you wanted to see the village, right? We should get going before Totodile starts getting impatient.”

    “Sure thing.” he replied as he followed Torchic’s lead. She was surprisingly fast for such a small bird.

    “Wait… we don’t have to get up this early every morning, do we?”

    “Yeah,” Torchic answered flatly, “get used to it.”

    The two crossed a small wooden bridge that spanned a small but turbulent stream. It didn’t seem natural for such a small stream to be flowing so rapidly, but Tristan didn’t have time to ask about it.

    The far end of the bridge marked the entrance to the village, which was made up of a series of small buildings varying in colour, shape, and size. Flowers scattered among the village swayed in the breeze, and a large tree just south of the center of the village watched over the entire town. “So, let’s see…” Torchic began, as they entered the village, “I’ll make this quick. To our left we have the Kecleon shop. They sell items like berries, seeds, apples, orbs, scarves, TM’s, you name it and they probably have it. But things sell quickly here so if you want something you gotta grab it while you can. Um… To our right, in the large brown building, you can see Kangaskhan Storage. She offers a safe and reliable service of storing items that we don’t need for certain missions. She’s really useful, plus an added bonus is that there’s no charge! And up ahead on the far left is the Felicity bank; this is where Persian will store your money so you don’t end up losing any in dungeons. A little farther you will see the Wigglytuff Friend Club, that’s where you can buy friend areas where we could call on team members right away to go on missions. We don’t need any of that right now. And lastly we’ve got on the far right in the circular building the Gulpin Link shop. It has something to do with combining moves I think, I never really tried it yet so I can’t go into details. Just ahead is the Pokemon Square. This is the center of town and the hub for all rescue teams to congregate and discuss different issues. Finally at the end of this road we will find the Pelliper Post Office. That’s where we will get all our rescue missions and mail from.” Torchic gasped for air at the end of her long explanation. Completely out of breath she managed to ask, “You… got… all that?”

    “Yeah, I think I got it,” Tristan answered, “You’ll need to explain it to me a couple more times though.”

    “Forget it.”

    Upon entering the Pokemon Square, they found that they weren’t the only ones awake this early in the morning. Off to the side was another Pokemon. This was one of the taller Pokemon he’d seen so far in this world. It had a green and turquoise body with long arms and short legs. It also wore a lilypad on its head like a hat. Upon seeing this Pokemon, Torchic shouted, “Hey, Lombre!”

    “Hm?” The Pokemon murmured turning to see who addressed him. “Oh! Hey, Torchic! So you made it through the night, eh?”

    “Barely!” she replied enthusiastically, “I’m serious, that was dangerous, imagine if I were caught in a storm like that!”

    “Well let’s just hope that doesn’t happen,” agreed Lombre, “It was hailing where I was. So I might just have had it as bad as you did. Imagine, me a grass Pokemon being afraid to go outside in a storm! The irony of it!” He gave a great sigh before he continued on. “Anyway, how’s the rescuing going, so far?”

    “Today we will be going on our first rescue,” Torchic answered confidently. “Oh yeah, we also got the final member to our team.”

    “Is that so?”

    “Yeah, meet Tristan. Tristan, this is Lombre.” Torchic nudged Tristan forward to shake hands with Lombre.

    “Well Tristan, it’s a pleasure,” Lombre greeted, shaking his hand, “I haven’t seen you around these parts.”

    “Yeah, well…” Tristan replied pulling his hand back rather quickly. Shaking hands with Lombre was very unpleasant. His hand was covered in some slimy kind of film that completely covered this Pokemon. He was sure that Torchic knew this would happen as he noticed her suppress a giggle. Fussing with the slime, he continued, “I’m… I’m new here. Just… moved in you see.”

    “Well in that case, welcome to the village,” the Pokemon added.

    “Oh, Lombre,” Torchic asked, “Team Blue wouldn’t be around, would they?”

    “No, they’re off on another mission, a… star rank if I believe. They just left early this morning so don’t expect them to be back anytime soon.”

    “Oh, that’s too bad…” Torchic said in disappointment. “I was hoping to show Tristan what a true rescue team was like. How about Team ACT, are they in?”

    “No, they’re not here either.”

    “Not them, either,” Torchic continued, “Well… how about Team Hydro? Team Rumblerock!? Team Constrictor!? …Team Meanies?”

    “No,” Lombre answered, “none of them are here. They’re all out on missions. But… Why would you want to meet Team Meanies?”

    “I was desperate,” Torchic said with a shrug. “But why would all the Teams be out on missions? There hasn’t been this many disasters since three years ago.”

    “I know, its very strange,” Lombre agreed, “I though it would all be over after the falling star incident. But lately, disasters have been becoming as frequent as ever.”

    “What could be causing it?” Torchic thought aloud.

    “Your guess is as good as mine,” Lombre replied, “but… I’m sure Team Blue will get to the bottom of it right away. I mean, they saved the world before didn't they?”

    “Yeah,” Torchic agreed, “I’m sure they’ll figure it out. Anyway, Tristan, we should get going too. We didn’t get to meet with a rescue team, which is a let down, but we probably should join in on the rescuing. C’mon.”

    “Oh…” Tristan muttered coming back to his senses as he followed her, “Yeah, sure.”

    “You could pay a little more attention you know,” Torchic lectured, “You miss out big time if you space out like that.”

    “Oh, yeah,” they heard Lombre call from behind, “Totodile came by. He said he’d be checking the bulletin board by the Pelliper Post Office for a job for you guys to take. You should probably hurry, he seemed very anxious.”

    “That’s Totodile for you,” Torchic said, quickening her pace, “I bet he’s already getting impatient. Hurry up, Tristan!”

    “Alright, alright, I’m coming, I’m coming!”

    Lombre made one last farewell; “Good luck on your first mission!”

    The Pelliper Post Office was on the outskirts of town, facing out towards the sea. Next to the large Pelliper shaped building was a bulletin board, filled with tens of requests for help. Upon arriving, Torchic and Tristan found Totodile standing in front of the bulletin board, their toolbox loaded and set for rescuing. “Oh! Hey, guys! So, I think I’ve narrowed it down to two missions,” Totodile explained as soon as the two arrived. He handed the descriptions over to them. “Well? What do you think?”

    “These are S rated missions Totodile,” Torchic pointed out, “You know that, right?”

    “So?” he replied, “what’s wrong with that? We can do it. And look at all the Poke we get for them.”

    “Let me remind you that we’re a normal rank team,” Torchic explained, “I don’t even think we’re allowed to take these missions yet. Since this is our first mission, lets start out with an easy E ranked one. And we will still get a good reward for the effort we put in.”

    “Well, yeah… I knew that…” Totodile said putting the two missions back, disappointed.

    “Hey, how about this one,” Tristan suggested as he grabbed a mission from the board. “It’s an E ranked mission, just like you said.”

    Torchic stood on her tip toes to look at the mission, “Yeah, this looks like a good one for a first mission.”

    Minutes later, the view of the Pokemon Village was shrinking behind new departing team. All had high hopes for their first mission, and each wondered what challenges they would have to face. Even Tristan had to admit that he was a little excited, despite knowing nothing about the Pokemon world.

    “Please save my sister,” Torchic read the mission aloud, “Client: Growlithe, Objective: Find Growlithe’s sister. Well, obviously. Place: Silent Chasm Basement Floor 10, Difficulty: E, Reward: … oh well, we’ll find out when we’re finished I guess.”

    “I can’t believe we’re going on our first mission!” Totodile exclaimed as he skipped along, “This is going to be so exciting! It’ll be our first step to becoming a famous rescue team!”

    “I thought you didn’t want to go on an E ranked mission,” Tristan reminded.

    “Well, I looked at it from a different angle. A rescue team’s gotta start somewhere, right? This will be our test to see how ready we are. It’s our big chance!”

    “See? I told you,” Torchic chirped with excitement, “Now, let’s pick up the pace!”

    “Our first rescue, huh?” Tristan thought curiously, “Why do I get the feeling it’s not going to work out so well.”

    To be continued…
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2007
  10. Apotheosis

    Apotheosis Seeker of Truth

    There are some things I'd like to point out with the dialog.

    “Heh,” Tristan chuckled, “You’re terrible, you know that?”

    “I’ll take that as a compliment,” Torchic giggled, “Now, you wanted to see the village, right? We should get going before Totodile starts getting impatient.”

    “I was desperate,” Torchic shrugged, “But why would all the Teams be out on missions? There hasn’t been this many disasters since three years ago.”

    In each of these cases, a character is somehow saying words through an impossible means. Chuckling and giggling sentences might work, but shrugging a sentence is completely impossible, for either humans or pokemon. Instead, put the action in its own sentence. Like this:

    “Heh.” Tristan chuckled. “You’re terrible, you know that?”

    “I’ll take that as a compliment.” Torchic giggled. “Now, you wanted to see the village, right? We should get going before Totodile starts getting impatient.”

    “I was desperate.” Torchic shrugged. “But why would all the Teams be out on missions? There hasn’t been this many disasters since three years ago.”

    You may also move the actions to before the dialog if you feel inclined, but they can stay where they are and be fine.
  11. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    Good point. I was trying this beat thing, but it looks like I haven't mastered it yet.

    Well thanks for the feedback. I just implemented the changes.
  12. Koridojo_Blaziken

    Koridojo_Blaziken The Snarkmeister

    YAY!! All this time of reading this fanfic at Nintendo forums, but not being able to reply due to my not having an account there, and now I can finally give my input! WAI!! ^____^

    Hi, I'm Koridojo_Blaziken, also known as Kori or Blaze. =) I was reading this fanfic at Nintendon forums (made it really hard to find it when they moved. >_<), and I think it's AWESOMNESS!! (and yeah, whatever. Don't mind the hyper nutjob babbling incoherently at her desktop. lol)

    Eep! O_____O FUDGE!! TRIPLE post! >______< *whaps forehead* Sorry, first time here....

    ~*Rescue Team Zakuro*~
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2007
  13. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    I see. So you were one of my silent readers. Well I'm glad you've been enjoying it so far.

    As you can see, I am making some pretty big changes to my earlier chapters this time around. Do you see the difference?


    On another note, I apologize for being a week late for this chapter. Life and stuff got in the way. Oh well, watcha gonna do. The next chapter should be up soon.
  14. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    Chapter 4

    Team Supernova’s First Mission! First Battle… Success?​

    “So, Growlithe,” Totodile asked, attempting a conversation. “How did your sister get lost in the first place?” Joined by their client, Team Supernova was now making their way along a small dirt path that led towards the dungeon Silent Chasm. Gathering information would be important if they wanted to know just what they were facing.

    The young Growlithe gazed regretfully towards the dirt. “We were walking along this path when we came upon the chasm.” He explained, “She’s a little on the adventurous side, my sister. She was curious about how deep the crevice was. I warned her not to get too close, but I didn’t try to stop her from walking to the very edge. Then…” he paused a moment, closing his eyes.

    “Then…?” Torchic repeated.

    “She… she… sniff…" Growlithe continued, fighting back a tear, “She was kidnapped!”

    “What!?” Exclaimed Totodile.

    “Kidnapped!?” Torchic chirped.

    “Who would do a thing like that!?” Tristan asked incredulously, “Did you see the Pokemon that did it?”

    “No… it went too fast, it was only a blur to me.” The young orange and black dog admitted, “though it did curse me for being a fire Pokemon, and I think that is why it captured her. But… sniff… sniff… what’s so wrong with being a fire Pokemon!? She didn’t do anything wrong!! Why her!?” The young Growlithe began to sob bitter tears.

    “There, there Growlithe, don’t worry,” reassured Totodile, patting the distraught Growlithe on the back, “You have Team Supernova working on your side, after all. We’ll save your sister!”

    “Is that a good thing?” Growlithe asked uncertainly, “I mean… I’ve never heard of you guys.”

    “Well, no… we’re not well known yet…” Totodile answered, discouraged. He felt as if he were attacked by the comment, as if their abilities were being doubted. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t rescue.”

    Torchic whispered aside to her teammates, “C’mon Totodile. Weren’t you the one who was so excited about going on our first mission? You can’t let these things get to you. We’ve only started, remember, you can’t blame people for not knowing.”

    “Wait,” Growlithe interrupted suddenly, “This is only your first mission!?”

    Torchic spun around in an instant. “Hang on, you heard that!?”

    “Y’know…” Growlithe continued apprehensively, “I appreciate your trouble, but… I think I want another rescue team.”

    “W… w… w… w… Wait!!” Totodile replied, panicking, “No! We… We can do the mission! You can depend on us, I swear!”

    “I’m sorry,” the dog replied guiltily, “I just won’t feel comfortable knowing that my sister is in the hands of someone who has no experience with rescuing. I care for her so much. Please understand.”

    “Well…” Torchic said, thinking quickly, her eyes fell on Tristan, “Some of us do have experience with rescuing! Tristan here has rescued before. Right, Tristan?”

    “Oh!” Tristan said, caught offguard, “Yeah, sure. It was nothing.”

    “And my parents were on a famous rescue team too! Team Flash Flood, you must have heard of them.” Totodile added, “Your sister will be in good hands, you can count on it.”

    “Well,” Growlithe replied reluctantly, “I… I still have a bad felling about this. But I… I’ll try to believe in you.”

    “You won’t regret it,” Totodile answered. He turned to his team and whispered, “Phew! Dodged a bullet seed there.”

    Finally, the group came upon the chasm. Instantly they could see what had gotten the Growlithe’s younger sister so interested. A thick shroud of fog blanketed the levels below, steadily growing thicker and thicker the further down they looked. The bottom was all but hidden from view, causing even them to become curious about how deep it was. “So this is Silent Chasm…” Totodile said with a gulp.

    “Sure looks deep,” Torchic added nervously.

    “Well,” Tristan began, wondering why Torchic and Totodile were just standing there, “no time to waste right? Let’s move.”

    “Please bring my sister back safely!” Growlithe begged, “She’s all I have left!”

    “Where are your parents?” Torchic asked.

    Growlithe answered this question with silence. If he had spoken it would have sounded something like: “It’s only us two. Our parents are gone.” Silence, however, was all that was needed to get the message across.

    “I see,” Tristan said, being the first to break the silence, “don’t worry, you can definitely count on us. We’ll make sure your sister comes back. I’ll make sure.”

    The young Growlithe looked up “Th… thank you.” He said appreciatively.

    “A Pokemon shouldn’t have to be alone,” Tristan answered.

    Something about this made the young dog’s eyes water again. Tristan wondered what he said that had moved his client so much. “This… this place is too dangerous for me,” Growlithe finished, “but I’ll be waiting in the village. I’ll… I’ll be counting on you.”

    “Sounds good,” replied Totodile.

    “We’ll be back before you know it!” Torchic said with reassurance.

    With that, the team departed as Growlithe turned and made his way back to the village. According to Growlithe, his sister was most likely to be found at the very bottom on the tenth floor. As the team progressed through the dungeon, it was clear that the rain this place had been getting in the recent months was taking a toll on the cave, making it less and less stable than it once was. On occasion, pieces of the moist earth would break free from the chasm wall, and fall into the unseen, foggy depths below. The fog must also have been able to muffle sound. They would never be able to hear those pieces of earth actually hit the bottom.

    “You know, that was a really nice thing you said to Growlithe back there,” Totodile complimented as they walked.

    “It was nothing, really,” Tristan replied quickly. He always felt awkward taking a compliment. He felt as if he were being put on the spot. Or that he didn’t deserve it.

    “No,” Torchic urged, “what you said back there I think made Growlithe feel much better about this. Didn’t you see how confident in us he was after you said that.”

    “I was just doing what anyone else would have done."

    Totodile chuckled slightly. “Really Tristan, you’re too modest. There’s no reason not to take credit for your nice gesture.”

    “I guess I’m just the modest type of person then. Nothing wrong with that, is there?” Tristan asked, growing irritated.

    “No, no, there’s nothing wrong with that at all,” replied Torchic. “Anyway, I’ve been thinking,” she started, diverting to a more comfortable subject, “You still say you’re a human, right?”


    “Well. I was wondering, do you remember anything from when you were a human? Maybe you can remember something that might have caused you to become a Pokemon?”

    This was a good question. Tristan marveled at how he hadn't thought of doing this on his own yet. As he walked he tried to think hard about his memories of being a human. But nothing came to him. The last thing he could remember was waking up in Tiny Woods. No wonder why he hadn't thought of doing this until now. “I don’t remember a thing,” he admitted.

    “Nothing!?” she asked.

    “No, nothing.” Tristan tried again to remember, but to no avail, “It's as if it’s been erased from my mind.”

    Totodile whispered aside to Torchic, “That’s exactly what the leader of Team Blue said when he was asked that question. He didn’t remember a thing either.”

    “What was that?” Tristan asked.

    “Oh, nothing, nothing.” Totodile answered, “Why don’t we just concentrate on our mission now. I think that would be best.”

    “Sure thing,” though Tristan could tell that Totodile wasn’t telling him something.

    Five levels down in the dungeon the team came upon yet another of the many rooms, and the fog was getting thicker. So far, luck had been with them, they had not yet confronted any Pokemon. There were another five floors to go until they would reach the bottom. Would their luck hold out? “You hear something?” Tristan asked, proceeding across the room to another set of descending stairs.

    “Yeah.” replied Totodile looking straight ahead, “We’ve got a few friends!” As the fog thinned between them and the stairs, four Pokemon appeared in their way, identified by Totodile as Yanma, Houndour, Spinarak, and Trapinch. None of them seemed to have the intention of letting Team Supernova through. These Pokemon seemed angry for the team’s intrusion on their territory. Their mood was reflected by the dismal weather and the unexpected arrival of Tristan, Torchic and Totodile. Totodile stepped forward defiantly, stating, “Alright, no panicking! We can do this! Right, team!?”

    Both Tristan and Torchic nodded in response.

    “I’m going in!” Totodile announced to the others, turning to their opponents, “Our first fight… we need to make this count!” He began the fight with a charge towards the Houndour, brandishing his claws. He hit with a powerful scratch attack, causing the enemy Houndour to fall back. Torchic, wasting no time, was the next to attack. With one super effective peck, she completely knocked out the Yanma that was hovering next where Totodile was now standing. Angered, the other Pokemon still able to fight came in for the attack.

    Tristan had hesitated at first, not knowing exactly what to do. But then he noticed that the Trapinch was sneaking up behind Totodile, opening its large jaws for a powerful Bite attack. But Totodile, still distracted by Houndour, hadn’t noticed. “Totodile! Behind you!” yelled Tristan, as he grabbed for his bone. With deliberate force, he hurled it at the Trapinch using Bonemerang. The bone hit its mark, with enough force to send the Tripinch tumbling back. “Bull’s eye!!” Tristan exclaimed triumphantly, “Oh…”. The bone ricocheted off the Trapinch and was sent spinning into the air. A moment later he could see where the bone would land. “Crap!”

    “WATER– !!” Totodile shouted in mid-attack. But he was cut off as Tristan’s out-of-control Bonemerang hit him squarely on the toe. “YOUCH!!!!” he cried in pain, “OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!” The result was Totodile hopping around the room on one foot while shooting water gun in any and every direction, hitting both friend and foe.

    “AAAHH!” Torchic cried, after being blasted in the back of the head with water, “YOU KNOW I HATE GETTING WET!!! STOP IT, TOTODILE!!!” She received another blast of water directly to the face, “CUT IT OUT!!!” No matter how loud she managed to scream her voice never managed to reach her blue teammate’s ears. Fed up and frustrated, she cried out, “FLAMETHROWER!!!!!” The entire room was immediately engulfed in flames causing everyone who hadn’t already fainted from Totodile’s water gun to become scorched by Torchic’s flames. Silence followed.

    A minute later, three of the figures rose from the dungeon floor. Totodile, Torchic, and Tristan stood up in the now silent room as the smoke cleared. Torchic was the first to speak, “WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU, TOTODILE!? WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING SPRAYING WATER-GUN ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE THAT!?”


    Both Trotodile and Torchic’s gaze were now fixed on Tristan, who took a big gulp. “Aw, man.” He thought, “No point in yelling if it’s my fault...” He began to wave his hands frantically “Hey guys, come on, we won the battle right? We shouldn’t be arguing. And… and… we can’t waste this kind of time since Growlithe is waiting for us right?”

    “Well… I guess,” Totodile admitted, “I probably shouldn’t have jumped into the fray like anyway.”

    “… I probably shouldn’t have lost my temper, either,” Torchic added.

    “What we need is a plan!” Totodile stated, clapping his hands together, “Some kind of strategy so we don’t end up attacking each other!”

    “Yeah!” Torchic agreed. “But before we continue,” she reached into the team toolbox which Totodile had been carrying, “we should each have an Oran berry.”

    “Oran berry?” Tristan asked.

    “It restores your health,” Totodile explained, popping one in his mouth and handing one to Tristan, “replenishes all your energy, it’s really handy to have around when you’re traveling.”

    “Gotcha,” Tristan replied as the three of them ate their berries. He felt a surge of energy just as Totodile had said. “Alright, lets think of a plan while we make our way to the tenth floor.”

    “Fine by me!” replied Totodile.

    “Enough wasting time," Torchic urged impatiently, "lets move!”

    And so, Team Supernova carried on with their mission through Silent Chasm in search of Growlithe’s missing sister. Their first battle, successful, yet definitely not something to be admired. What lay ahead of them was just as hard to see as it was to see through the dense and musty fog. But, taking their time to work out a new battle plan, they felt more and more confident with each step they took. They were sure that the next battle would have fewer mishaps.

    “Heh,” Totodile said as chuckled to himself, “Hey, Torchic!”


    Giggling, he continued, “I guess that’s what you call friendly fire, eh!?”

    Simultaneously, as if by instinct both Tristan and Torchic fell flat on their faces, letting out a painful groan.

    “H… hey! What!? It was funny, wasn’t it!? Wasn’t it!?”

    To be continued…
  15. Koridojo_Blaziken

    Koridojo_Blaziken The Snarkmeister

    HAAAH! Xd One of my favorite quotes! :D

    (BTW: Is it okay if I use the ''Team'' in a fanfic I'm writing? {talking in 'code' so as not to give away specifics on future characters})

    (ALSO BTW: Write more, 'cause I get my Team Zakuro to use their signature combo move on ya, Tristan and the others aren't here to protect you. >.> lol, just jkn. :D)
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2007
  16. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    I'm glad liked it the quote. I knew that if I were to edit over this fic that it would be a smart choice to keep this quote (as well as a few others later on). I see that my decision has paid off.

    As for your other comments, I'll have to PM you for that.
  17. Blademaster_Jale

    Blademaster_Jale Feelin' Lucky?

    i like your fanfic, its got a good plot and characters, and i like how well you put the dialogue together. but you lack in description sometimes; you did wellin describing the scenery and pokemon in plenty of places, but then the dungeons were a bit lacking, along with the pokemon they battled there.

    other than that this is very good work *thumbs up*!

    ps: i can already guess what happened to tristan's friend, dave.
  18. Koridojo_Blaziken

    Koridojo_Blaziken The Snarkmeister

    o.o; *pales at above post* Crap. Did....I just give something away...without realizing it???

    (OOC: *bangs head against wall* Bad Kori! BAD! >_< Ouch. Okay, lesson learned. :) )
  19. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    Thanks. It's good to be told what strongpoints I have when it comes to writing, as well as the weak ones.
    Looking back at the previous chapter, I see what you mean when you mention description. Surprisingly, before I edited it it had much less. The size of the chapter had increased drastically. I will try to be more careful, though, in describing things for future chapters, so thanks for letting me know. The problem with most dungeons though is that they are all so plain and generally the same. I guess that's one of the challenges of writing a PMD fanfic though, as all games have their challenges to write about.
    P.S: I would appreciate it that if you think you know something that others don't know that you put a spoiler warning (or whatever that button is called that you click and it reveals hidden text). Just so that nothing is spoiled for anyone else. Thanks!

    You too! Banging your head on the wall won't help. Its not good for you either. May a suggest the above method instead.
  20. Blademaster_Jale

    Blademaster_Jale Feelin' Lucky?

    you're welcome, and youre right about the whole "its difficult to describe dungeons" cause i felt the same in describing the towns and routes of hoenn in my own fic. the first time i wrote my fic, i pretty much had the towns and routes the exact same length or size as in the games, and thus my description was horrible. in my current writing of it, i have tried very hard and made even the shortest route (route 101) like two miles long, and described every inch of it. so, if you try and work on it, it shouldn't be too hard. just imagine walking through a cave, or climbing down a cliffside, and just think of everything you might see or feel. then put that down in writing. it works for me :)

    oh, one more thing i forgot in my previous review: in chapter 3, they are all saying that they got an E ranked mission, but then in the mission description you said it was a D rank. just a little thing, but im OCD and little things bug me lol XD

    just keep writing, work a bit on description, you're doing a great job so far.

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