I agree, I still think going Mega Garchomp from the start would have been the best move honestly because that would have allowed her to take care of Dracovish and Sirfetch'd far more easily, resulting in it taking even less damage. I think Cynthia was overconfident and was underestimating the resolve Ash's Pokemon had. She probably intended Roserade to defeat Dracovish after the opening blows from Garchomp, and then full health Milotic would have been way more competitive against Sirfetch'd, either winning or crippling it enough that Garchomp could easily come in for the one. It obviously didn't play out like that though.
As for why Cynthia did what she did, it was either planned from the start or it was a heat of the moment thing. I think Lucario countering Air Slash was actually what promted that because she realised her Togekiss couldn't do much to it, and Garchomp was weak enough that even Mega Garchomp could lose to a nearly full strength Mega Lucario. By Dmaxing Togekiss, she could actually deal some damage and take hits, enough that Base Lucario could clean up the remainder. In retrospect, this will probably be a bad decision but she hasn't been put into a corner for a long time unlike Ash who's been up against it for most of his recent battles.
I don't know about that, she's a smart trainer who would absolutely use every method at hand to win, like sleep, Destiny Bond etc. The element of surprise is handy, yes, but she basically had no knowledge of who she would face back then. I doubt she used it then without intending to do so again.
About the respect part, I guess it differs for different people. I understand where you're coming from but that would probably go for, say, a regular trainer battling her where she would hold back knowingly, as Diantha did at first against Greninja. Iris however is a regional Champion and an equal to Cynthia, I feel personally that Cynthia taking her seriously and not holding back at all was a sign of acknowledgement, especially using a Mega Stone no one had seen before. Iris would probably have felt insulted if she were to find out that Cynthia held back against her, or like Leon Gmaxing Rillaboom just for the heck of it to entertain the crowd. Perhaps that's just me though, but while I would definitely prefer an NBA level player to go easy on me, I'd be insulted if someone around my skill level or slightly better did that to me.
I was a bit confused by the plot device part but yeah, it was definitely meant to hype people up while also showing that Cynthia wasn't playing around. It's as I said previously, I just feel like Iris would feel worse if she finds out Cynthia had a gimmick but didn't use it against her, instead using it against Ash. Iris has clearly worked hard to get to this point so I don't think it's insulting in the slightest to have one of the strongest Champions go all-out against you. Or if Iris doesn't, perhaps Cynthia atleast feels that way because her intention was never to clown on Iris.
Regardless, you're right that there's no right answer or opinion, we all have our tastes and dislikes so that's just how it is, I won't want to force my perspective on someone else either.
I think of Cynthia as a trainer who probably plans for each eventuality beforehand, it would be very poor to just pick one strategy when you don't even know what Pokémon your opponent uses. Against Iris, there were only 3 Pokémon so she likely always intended to Mega evolve Garchomp if needed for the power boost. Against Ash, she had 6 Pokémon and could afford to be a lot more flexible. She doesn't seem to have the overwhelming (read: ridiculous) strength that Leon's Pokémon seem to have, like that Rillaboom sweep, rather she relies a lot more on the tactical side of the game. Mega Garchomp was probably always a consideration but she ultimately decided what she thought was best in that situation.
But yeah, that's from Cynthia’s pov. From the writer's pov, who knows if they had already planned Ash vs Cynthia when they were writing this battle. Regardless, Mega Garchomp is such a significant thing that they definitely intended to feature it in atleast one match, seeing as it takes Garchomp’s power to new levels. I won't really say they lied because we've seen Ash vary his gimmicks, it's only fair that Cynthia does too I suppose and I'd rather have this sort of surprise than a "surprise" like some of the shoddy battles we've had this season. The writing for this one has just been so much better comparatively, especially after the damper that was Leon vs Diantha.
Also yes, I don't really see Garchomp returning for a while, if at all, so the same goes for Mega Garchomp too obviously. Maybe the Unova remakes might make Cynthia relevant again!
The Diantha thing is entirely just something I said haha, would be nice if it were true though!
And lastly, once again, while I understand the respect thing from where I'm coming, it's fine for you to keep your opinion because as I said, there's no right answer! One man's meat is another man's poison so I can see how it might look insulting from your pov and is a view probably shared by many others. I'll just add again that I don't think that this fight particularly had anything to do with her not using Mega Garchomp against Ash, I suppose we'll know next episode whether she had preplanned this or if it seemed like the best choice at the time.
Sorry for the walls of text haha, hope you have a nice day