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The Story Of The Fire Demon


You're Illegal
The Story Of The Fire Demon (rated pg-13...i guess)
Writers notes:First time here in the fan fic section of spp fourms ^_^" so please teat me with respect :D Thank you, now if you like the band of seven(i'm a Bankotsu fan myself) then you will like this fanfic right Kasaioni?
Kasaioni:Right Fenkotsu, now in this fanfic there will be no Ginkotsu, and Bankotsu will have a family member :D and bankotsu won't be the leader, but another member of the band of seven will, i will also be in the fanfic!
Fenkotsu: Thats true, and at the end after reading this please post a rating from 1-10, -1's or lower ARE NOT exepted 11 or higher ARE
exepted, be warned this is only a part by part story so the fan fic will end in a kind of clif hanger ok?Enjoy the fanfic, thats Kasaioni & Fenkotsu, siging off, bye!


"Hey Kasaioni?" said a vioce that came from a cute little fox demon named Shippol the story about you again like how you came to trake down naraku with us while we are resting?" "Not again?!" said a cold vionce comeing from a half demon named Inuyasha. " Oh come on inuyasha." said a monk named miroku "Ya another time for shippo Inuyasha" said a demon slayer named Sango. " Inuyasha be nice, I knida like the story" said a strangly dressed priestess name Kagome. "Well ok, but i hate hearing a story with that ******* Bankotsu I for one is glad he is dead!" said Inuyasha angrily "The word Kagome" I said "Inuyasha, SIT!" *THUD CRASH* "Aww man!" Inuyasha groaned "Please go on Kasaioni" "With pleasure" I said "YAY!" Shippo said happly. "Ok, it all started when me, the leader of the band of seven and my brothers were destorying yet another castle about 40 years ago........"

"FIRE-OGA!!!!" a fermiliar vioce said, then a literal wave of fire came a sword named "Taiyoken" crashing down on a Hudge castle and killing anybody left inside and completely destorying wat was left of the rest of the caslte into ashes.
"That was TOO easy" said Bankotsu "Yes, but i rather enjoyed it!" said the leader of the band of seven, Fenkotsu, the demon of fire! "Your Banryuu did a bvery good job today brother Bankotsu...["Remember, I did not just call Bankotsu my brother because he was in the band, he was my real sibling brother!" I said out of story]...you are realing improving!" Fenkotsu said *i gave a pat on Bankotsu's back* "Jakotsu" I said " If your sword is supposed to look like a snake then MAKE IT look like a snake, make it...more flexable!" Fenkotsu said "YES HUNKY SIR!" Jakotsu said, {Fenkotsu-> ^_^"} 'The only thing i can't change is that weird atitude of his' Fenkotsu thought "Kyokotsu, you are one with the earth, make the gound shake and make it feal like and earthquack, Mukotsu, try to make your poision spread more, wave your tubes around so you can kill more people, Renkotsu, your doing great keep up the good work, but remember, you'll never be as good with fire as me! Suikotsu, practise being more acurrite, I see you keep missing, as for me, I gotta have more stelth!. Now I know that this castle was poor, but, the next castle we will be attacking will be a very rich one, it is more neer the east tonight we rest! Everybody agreed and we rested at the what-was-left castle.

~~~Later that night~~~
That night Fenkotsu had a fealing.....a fealing he couldn't explane.....like something was missing....but he couldn't figure out what...Fenkotsu did his every once in a while, pondering questions like this.....and he never knew why...["And you still do today Kasaioni, right?" Shippo said " Yes Shippo, and I still don't know why I do it, anyways..."]….Fenkotsu had just decided that after this next battle he would have to go out on a journey to fill this fealing and ~seak what cannot be seaken, hear What cannot be herd, touch what cannot be touched and sense what cannot be sensed~, then that just made him ponder what ever it was more, just then Bankotsu woke upfrom his sleep, and in a dazed look of sleepyness looked up at Fenkotsu and said “Whats up big brother?” “I have no idea” Fenkotsu said truthfully. Bankotsu looked at Fenkotsu and knew, then said “When?” Then with much hesitastion Fenkotsu said sadly “Right after the battle tommorrow……” Then for a while Fenkotsu and Bankotsu looked up at the stares, two brothers that were going to be seperated after the last sad battle when the morning came………..

~~~Later that morning~~~
“Ok people” Fenkotsu said anoucing to the group “Make this battle worth while and lets kill those people and get riches, lets go!!!” Fenkotsu & Bankotsu & the rest were sprinting at the castle, Jakotsu used his sword and cleared the way of guards, kyokotsu smashed the wall protecting the caslte along with more warriors flying everywere, Mokotsu Went into the caslte and spread his poison everywere at some women inside Renkotsu put the place on fire wich made some preasure wich caused the place to blow-up cause of the open windows, Mukotsu just made it out before that, Suikotsu was slotering all the warriors by the neck and Bankotsu used his “Unpredictable lightning attack” on the caslte and one of the bolts almost hitting Jakotsu “HEY, watch were your aiming” Jakotsu said “That why its called the ‘Unpredictable lightning attack’ Jakotsu!” Jakotsu mumbled something about getting Bankotsu back for that and continued killing people.
“YOU THERE” said a low voice “HOLD YOUR ATTACK!” The warriors holded their attack and standed aside. “Whats all the hub-ub here?” Fenkotsu said “Ya, I want get on with the killing” said Kyokotsu “You can get on with destroying this caslte and killing everybody here, IF you kill me!” he said “Who are you, you look but just a weak human!” said Renkotsu “I am captin of the guard here, and if you defeat me, you can do what ever you want to these people and this caslte!” “Why can’t we fight the shogun of the caslte instead of a weakling like you?” “The shogun is but an old man, fight me and it won’t be so boring, you could even get yourself kill, wich one here is the leader?” he said “I am!” Fenkotsu said as he stepped forward “And I will battle you but don’t expect to win!” “You are a stuborn one aren’t you? OK! Leats get ready for your death FENKOTSU!” “FIRE-ARA” fenkotsu said as fire came out of his sword on the ground (just like the wind scar exept with fire) right at the captin of the guard!. The guard jumoed the attack with incredible stealth, but still got burnes on his feet. “I see you have one of those swords, the element sword of fire called Taiyoken!” “Yup and its never failed me before, its been passed down from the generations of my familly, forged with all the fire & heat in the world by my great-great-great-grandfather, and I will use it to kill you!, FIRE-OGA, again a wave of fire came from the sword at the captin of the guard and swept of the guard and almost burned off all of his skin. “AAAAAAAGGHHH” he yelled in agony “I will still kill you I will…….I……..noooo…..” The guard droped dead right there on the ground, burned, and almost all of his inner muscles showing! “Now that that’s over, ok everybody
stand back im going to use The Attack !!!!” Fenkotsu said[“Fenkotsu was going to use the attack? Wow! Shippo said “Yes, it was his last battle and he thought that the battle needed and flashy ending, anyways…”] Why are you using that attack Fenkotsu?!?!” Bankotsu said questioningly “This is my last battle, why not use the Sun-Attack?” Fekotsu said. “Well, ok” bankotsu said very understadingly, puzzled the other members of the band still steped back. Fenkotsu started spining his Taiyoken(his ‘Sun-sword’ in english) rapidly untill it looked like a big flame wheel then he left it spinning like that then started spinning it the other way so the flame wheel was spinning up and down till his whole sword now look like small version of a sun, about as big as you shippo, then he put the sun rught beside him with his hand behind it ready to through it, now the band of seven was so hot they were sweating like crazy, even Fenkotsu, the demon of fire, was sweating a little, then Fenkotsu yelled: “HEAT OF THE SUN!!!” he through the small sun to the castle and the sun went to the middle od the caslte and trued into a black curcular voide, then it started sucking in most of the caslte around it then everything was quiet “RUUUUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!” Fenkotsu yelled, evetybody ran as far wway as they could, thenas they got to a safe distance: ‘sssssssshhhhhhhoooooorm…………..BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM……it looked like the voide had exploded but the taiyoken had floated safe and sound back into Fenkotsu’s sheeth. Fenkotsu sighed, “That’s it…..” Fenkotsu said “My friends, I must leave the band of seven for reasons Bankotsu will keep to himself, brothers I would like you all to keep strong like me and never give up, but still I must leave to ~seak what cannot be seaken, hear What cannot be herd, touch what cannot be touched and sense what cannot be sensed~, and I must fill this void inside me, Renkotsu!” Fenkotsu ordered “Yes big brother” Renkotsu repleyed “I’ve seen you making, umm.., metal things, do you think you could make a person out of metal? With some weapons in him, to replace me?” “It will be my pleasure” Renkotsu repleyed happily “And no battleing till hes done, ok?” Fenkotsu ordered “ Yes big brother, don’t worry we won’t” Renkotsu said again “When I leave the new leader of the band of seven will be Bankotsu, and you will call him either big brother, leader or just Bankotsu, now, I am changing my name to “Kasaioni”, as of now I am no longer a member of the band of seven and my name is not ‘Fenkotsu’ but ‘Kasaioni’, one more order Renkotsu, the name of your ‘metal person’ shall be called, ‘Ginkotsu’ ok?” I said “Yes Fen….i mean, Kasaioni it’s a perfect name” Renkotsu said hesitently. I toke my sholder sheild off and gave it to Mukotsu. “You always said, Mukotsu, that this was just the right metal to put in your poisons and not just poison foes, but cut them to if it was cut up into small shap pieces, so you can have it” Fenkotsu said “Th…thank you Fenkotsu, I am greatful”he said thankfully. “There I am no longer a member of the band of seven officaily, I will not take my symboles off my head beacause if you ever in trouble and need help the symbols will me a sign that I will always be there to help you!” “But my huncky man…” jakotsu was cut off “Don’t worry, we may meet again, Bankotsu…” I gave a little pat on Bankotsu’s back “We will meet again sometime, but don’t you go soft on me!” I said as I walk on a trail into the forest to go out on a very long journey I wouldn’t know were it would take me. [“Why do you talk as if Fenkotsu was another person but when you changed your name and was out of the band of seven and not a member anymore you refered to yourself as you?” Shippo questioned “Fenkotsu WAS a whole different person, I have changed and I am no longer blood thirsty anymore” I answered “O, I see now ok!” shippo said understandingly “ok on with the story….”]

~~~Dusk that evening~~~

I kept telling myself that it was the right thing to do, and finaly I convinced myself and felt good about it. I soon got up the nerve to go to a near by hot spring that I hade chose to sleep by, I toke of my comono and got in. ‘It isn’t that hot enough’ I thought ‘Oh wait I know!’ I got my Taiyoken an put it in the hit spring, the hot srping would be schorching hot for humans, but for me it ws just right! ‘Ahhhhhhhhh just right’ I thought relaxingly ‘I’ll start going south from were I am now in the east when dawn comes, but what other things can I do other than surching for who knows what? Whats my job now? Demon slayer?, no then I would get blood thirsty again and want to go back with my brothers in the band of seven. Monk, no that would be being TOO nice, hmmmmm………..well maybe I’ll find out on my way, I hope….’ Later after cleaning my braded hair and close careful not to wash of my band of seven symbols from my eyes (One red like arrow pointing down from the bottom of my eye and one pointing up, on each eye) I put my clothes back on and lay beside a tree and have my sword just laying beside me, if someone tried to steal it they would just burn their hands right off, after a while I fell asleep dreaming of what I could take up as a ‘job’.

~~~Dawn the next day~~~
I woke up the next day fealing great, so I got up and started walking right away, the cold air woke me up so I was wide awake still thiniking of what I could take up as a marking of who I am. ‘Preist….no…’ I kept on thinking of all these things I could do while I was walking.
As I came closer to a village I think Fenkotsu had destoryed before that looked re-built I herd people sobing, and people kneeling around something. “ LOOK ITS ONE OF THE BAND OF SEVEN” I herd on yell as I aproched what they were kneeling around. One other person was pointing a spear at me. “Don’t come any closer, I’ll….i’ll kill you!” the man said “I don’t think that would be posible” I said as I flung his spear out of his hands. As everybody backed as I got closer thinking that I was going to kill them all I saw what they were kneeling around, it was a woman on the ground sweating and yelping now and then with agony. “ Oh…no..not the…AGHA…band of seven…ung..” the woman tried to say “Hmmm…lookes like Mukotsu’s poison, and the slow painful kind at that, luckly my dad taught me how to cure this, it just needes a simple potion, hey does anyone here have White Cansoic flowers?” I asked as the woman was doing little ‘eeps’ and ‘ungs’ from the pain here and there. “ yes..but” said one of the men hesitantly “Don’t just stand there go get some!!” I said impaitently “but Fen…” “MY NAME IS KASAIONI FENKOTSU NO LONGER EXEISTES, NOW GO GET ME SOME WHITE CANSOIC FLOWERS OR SHE WILL DIE!” “Yes Fen…I mean Kasaioni sir” he said as he rain to a field to get some Cansoic Flowers, one minute later he came back with them. “Ok I need water a pot and some pain and mental herbs, you got those?” I said impatiently “ yes we do, I’ll get then right away Kasaioni” the man said, one minute later he came back with what I wanted, I put the water, Casoic flowers, mental and pain hurbs in the pot, ans started mixing them with a stick, and soon enough they had mixed into a gray mushy, slimy substance wiched looked, smelled and tasted horible. “Now this may tast bad but unless you wanna die you gotta drink it!” I said impaitently. The woman drank it gaging a few times and throwing up a little of it up once, but once it was down she started to breath regulary and stoped sweating, then she finaly asked: “Thank you sir, how ever can I thank you?” “Live” I said “Ok, sir, what is your name?” “Kasaioni” I said softly “Thank you, Kasaioni I will always remember you as the one who saved my life.” She said happily “Why thank you, now I must leave” I said as I got up, helped the woman up and walked on. “ WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU KASAIONI!!!” shouted the man, I just waved my hand ‘bye’ and walked on. As I was walking I just realized what I had done. “How caould I be so stupid, feh, I think supposed to be a potions master!” I said triumphently.
Just then my ruby necklass started to glow, now I guess would be the time to tell you about my ruby necklass.
It all started when I was a baby, just after I had been born my dad put ruby necklass around my neck, as I grew up I never knew why I had it around my neck day and night were ever I went, I asked my dad and mom about one-hundred times but they always said “ you will see some day Kasaioni”, and also back then my name was Kasaion, I had just then changed to Fenkotsu and changed myself when I jioned the band of seven, but just a day ago I had changed my name back.
‘And now its glowing, then I just realized that maybe its because I saved a person from death and I had never done that before, and I had also that it was right for me to be a potions master, wait! My dad was a potions master too, I remember now!’ And then my ruby necklass started glowing brighter then two rubies came out of it with a gold ring around each one, they were floating right infront of me. I went out to grab one and as I toke hold of it, it streched out into a gole poll with two pointy ruby on each end, then I grabed the other one and the same thing happenend to it. “Wait I know what these are!” I said very exited “These are the potions mixer staffes my dad used!, now I can make profesional potions with these!” I look at them up and down admiring how beautiful they looked, then they both started pulseing “Wait I wonder…” I swond them around lick battons, then pointed one away from me and said: “ FIRE!”and just as I had suspected one of them shout of a streem of fire, then I thought ‘These can attack!, but if these are potions staffs that can attack….’ Then I shouted “WATER-ARA!” for one and “LIGHT-OGA” for another, again my predictions were right, a big stream of water came out of the ground and shot forward from one of my staffs and a wave of light came from the other! “Wow now I’m a fire demon that can not only use fire attacks, but all the elements! I’m invincable!!” I said to myself “Man if I came back to my brother we could…” I shook my head “No, it was the right thing to do to leave the band of seven, and besides, I’ll only use these in emergency battles” I said as I put both of them back in my necklass.

~~~Later that late afternoon~~~
“Hmmm…lookes like a village up ahead, I think I’ll check it out” just as I had said that I walked into the village and in the middle of the main road through the village was the most beautiful woman I ever saw! This woman seemed to be a preistess, but this one was different, but I couldn’t tell how, maybe it was the attidude, no she looked happy, I guess it was just my imagination, but I needed somewhere to sleep for the night, lying on the dirty ground wasn’t my idea of being comfterble. “Excuss my preistess” I aid as I walk up to her from the forest on a hill. “Is there a place I can sleep for the night? You see I’m going on a long jouney and this may be the last place for a long time I can rest with a roof over my head” I said admirring here hair, how it was sleek, shiney & clean it was. “Yes we have a guest room for you, and what is your na….your one of the band of seven!!!!” she said then with that reaction two blue lightning like power bolts came out of each of her hands pointed like an X at my neck. “Stay away from this village or I’ll kill you!” she said threataningly. “Wow, wow hold it just right there, I am no longer a part of the band of seven, I have seperated from them for a reason, and its not that I don’t like to kill inocent prople, its for other reasons, Bankotsu is my brother and I still love him too, if you want to know the band of seven is still terorizing people up there and they have got someone to replace me, and the new leader is my brother Bankotsu, now please unhand me and show me to my room, please” I said as I pushed away her blue lightning bolts with my Taiyoken. “Well ok I will believe Fenkotsu so..” she got cut off “MY NAME IS NOT FENKOTSU, ITS KASAIONI!” I yelled “Umm…ok Kasaioni” she said surprized as she showed me to my room. “Its not much but its all we got” she said as she poited to a small room with a blanket, a small stuffed with straw matress and horses fur for a pillow. “Its great, finaly somewere that has no lumpy rockes and has a bed, thank you very much!” I said as the preistess was woundering why anybody would be so happy about a very low class, old, full of holes, ragety bed that has been washed but not enough that many people have used. “Well I’ll get a candle in here if you would like” she said as she steped out the door “Wait!” I said quickly, she peecked back in. “Yes?” “What is your name preistess, a beautiful woman like you only should have a beautiful name” I said hesitantly, she blushed “Its Rhyonea thank you” “Your welcome, Preitess Rhyonea” ‘Hmm….has a nice ring to it’ I thought as I said it. “Ok, I will be back with a candle” she finished. As she steped out into the colourful evening sky, she looked like an angel sent from heavan to me. Black wavy, sleek, shiney, clean hair, her comono blowing in the breeze as childeren came up to her most lickely asking who I was, her eyes not blue, but brown, like the soft fur on a horse, calm and beautiful. She seemed always happy, no cares in the world, wich made me happy too. As she walked down the street of the village it seemed to me that she had been the purest I had ever met, not just because I had been around evil people most of my life, but she seemed different from anybody else that I have ever met.
~~~Late that night~~~
{!Now if you don’t like “mushy stuff” like just at the end of that last paragraph, skip this next paragraph!}
Late that night I started thinking about Rhyonea, but this thinking wasn’t the one were I’m thinking about the world, and why things are the way they are, I was thinking about Rhyonea, no changing the subjuect in my mind, just all about Rhyonea nothing else, and I was lying in my ragety bad all night thinking about here. Outside Rhyonea looked at were I was sleeping and seeing that I still had my candle lit she woundered what I was doing up at this time so she decided to go in and see.
As I was thinking about Rhyonea, she poped her head in through the entrace. “So what you doing up at this time?” “Oh…..just thinking” I said slowly “Oh I see…” she said quietly. Then she sat down beside and for a while we said nothing “So how long have you been in this village?” I said breacking the silence “About 26 years” “Wow that means your almost as old as me” I said surprized “Oh, I see” she said with no emotion what so ever. I looked over to her, she was looking at the ceiling thinking about something, just like me, I woundered what went one in that mind of her’s. She turned to look at me too, for a while we just looked at each other, not saying anything, then with some rection Rhyonea came over and kissed me, in my reaction I returned the kiss, it went on for a bit then she got tired and fell asleep on my lap, after that I fell asleep too.

~~~Early the next morning~~~
I woke up the next morning seeing that Rhyonea wasn’t slleping beside me. ‘Feh, must have gone out to tend to the childeren or crops or something of the sort’
After getting the sleepeness out of my eyes I got out of the guest house and went to a near by streem to wash my face. The water was colder than ice, for me at least, probobly because I was [“And still am” I added] a fire demon. After I splashed water on my face I got it off with a big leaf and headed back for the village.
“Its quiet, everybody must be still sleeping” I said to myself. But then I thought that it was TOO quiet, somebody has to be out tending to the cropes or something, that’s what farmers do at about this time. ‘I better chaeck weather evrybody is ok, just to check’ I thought, but deep inside I knew something was very wrong. I peered into one of the houses and to my horror everybody was dead, laying down on there backes with blood everywere, only a few childeren had servived and were in high shock sitting in the corner. Then it hit me. ‘Were is Rhyonea?!?’ I thought in panic ‘Is she dead too?!?!’ “I’ll come back for you” I said to the childeren and ran out into the street, then yelled “RHYONEA WERE ARE YOU!?, RHYONEA” then I herd a shocking “KASAIONI, HELP!” coming from the forest from across the village. I jumped with shock then ran after her. As I got into the forest I say a white figure with a baboon skull to eyes in the eye sockets of the baboon skull and a mouth at the bottom holding Rhyonea by the neck. “RHYONEA, NO!” I yelled “Kasaioni…” She weezed back “I’m so sorry * ack * I herd chrashing and screaming last night
cough * then saw this demon, then I tried to stop him from killing the village people * ung * but he blocked my arrows and toke me here, to lurer you here *ack *. Go Kasaioni please, RUN! * cough cough*” “No Rhyonea!!, I won’t abondone you!, what is your name demon?!” I yelled threateningly “My name is Naraku” Naraku said in an evil but calm voice “And I see my plan worked” “What plan?” I said puzzled “Why, the plan to steel your Taiyoken ofcoase” Naraku chuckled “How do you know the name of my sword?” I said supruzed “Oh, I have my resoreses” he said as a poisoness insect flyed up beside him “Now, GIVE MY YOUR TAIYOKEN NOW!” he yelled and lurched forward droping Rhyonea unconchous. “Oh, I don’t think so!” I said as I got out my staffes and doged his attack “Oh, I see, so you finaly got your potions staffes, but that’s not going to change anything, I’ll stil kill you and still get your Taiyoken” “OH NO YOU WON’T, LIGHT ARA!” I yelled, then light came from the ground and hit naraku hard! “You are a strong one” he sarcasticly complimented “Iknow and I’ll kill you with my stenght” Then to my uter surprize the two staffes started to mirge. ‘What the?…’ I said as the two staffes mirged into one long, big staff, Naraku seemed scared of this as he backed away. “ALRIGHT NARAKU!” I said in big confidence “PERISH!, LIGHT-OGA!” Then a huge wave of light came from my long staff and hit Naraku with incredible force. “ARGGG NOO!” Naraku yelled, then I saw a dark cloud with poison insectes around it. “We will meet again Kasaioni, and when we do, I will get your taiyoken and kill you!” He said as the cloud disappered.
“Rhyonea are you ok?” I said as I ran to her to help her up. “Yes I’m fine, lests go back to the village, and barry the bodies…” “Yes Rhyonea…..” This was the first time I think I ever had a tear trickle down my cheack.

~~~That evening~~~
After all the bodies were barryed Rhyonea and I kneeled and prayed, but for some odd reason instead of fealing sad I felt hot with anger. ‘Naraku, Rhyonea and I will do what ever it takes to trake you down and kill you and you will never cause trouble again! But why dide yoy attack this village? Why?’
“Rhyonea?” “Yes…” she replyed hesitantly. “Has this naraku ever attacked you before?” “Yes he has” she said confessingly. “He attacks me for my powers, have you ever herd of the preistess Kikyo?” “Why, yes I have, she was very powerful untill she died 45 years ago” “Well I also have the same powers as she and some other people would love to have my powers, espesialy my lighting bolts” “Oh, I see now” I said slowly “I CAN’T BELIEVE HE DID THIS THAT *******!”After she said this she started to cry. “Don’t worry Rhyonea everything is going to be OK you will see, someday naraku will die, I’m sure of it”
The sunset was red and erie that evening as we both feal asleep

~~~The next morning~~~
I yawned as I got out of the Inn room and steched ready to hit the road. “It’s a great day for a road trip!” The sun was shining and there was but about 3 clouds in the sky. “Come on Rhyonea its time to go” “Ok I’m coming” she came out and squinted at the sun then looked at me. “Are you sure you want to come with me on this journey Kasaioni?” “Why not, I just can’t leave you with this birden on your shoulders, besides you need someone with you and I can’t stand that Naraku, he has hurt you for the last time and its time he went with the dead!” I said triuphently “Well ok Kasaioni your right…” she looked sad by now. “AND its also time to be happy ok, you can’t be sad all the time. Why when I met you, you always looked happy, like you were pure and your life had no cuts or injuries so look on the bright side ok?” “Yes, your right Kasaioni, from now on when we’re not fighting, lets be happy” “Good then its settled Rhyonea, we start our journey NOW!” And we headed off into the forest leaving the wreked village behind and the deid barryed bodies.

~~~The end of part one~~~
Well shippo I think its getting late I will tell the rest of the story to you tommorrow ok?” I said while yawning. “Ya ok I’m getting tired * yawn*..too” shippo said in a very tired vioce “Finaly I’m getting sick of that story, good night” Inuyasha said in a critisising vioce. “Ya I’m goona hit the sack too see ya in the morning” Kagome said as she got into her sleeping bag. “Yup good night Kagome, Inuyasha, Shippo, Kasaioni, Miroku” Sango said as she found a good stop on the ground with leafs. “good night…” Miroku said in a diased tired vioce.
Soon enough we were all asleep dreaming happy thoughts.

~| Writers notes|~
Fenkotsu: Well I hoped you liked part one of this story, I know that I am no longer around but in future stories I will come back, I promise you….” * Fenkotsu disapeares into nothingness*
Kasaioni: Um ok…..anyways thankyou for reading this and please rate this out of 1 to 10 no 0’s or lower exepted anything higher than 10 exepted, cause anyone would love there story rated high don’t ya think? Now your probobly thinking: “Were TF I the rest of the story?” Well its coming in about a month or so, so watch out for it cause this was only part one and I promise you, part two is going to be WAY longer, I hope you will have the attenchone slane for it ^_^’, well untill part two, bye!.

Any questions or ratings post here ok? And please don’t be too negative and always follow spp’s rules of course. I will be around as most I can, if I’m not then that meens I’m either at school or play my gba pokemon games, watching tv, doing something else on the comp and stuff like that. So now post your rating and question as much as you like as long as those questions atre resonable, ok rate my fanfic away!

Anime: Inuyasha
By: Shippo
[!No demons or human were hurt in the making of this fanfic!]
Copy right: Shippo Stuff Inc. (S.S. Inc.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=eEWDWUfrrow&search=weird al
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You also seem to be having some grammatical difficulties -.-"

Characterisation is lacking, description is rare. Develop the characters. Not everyone knows InuYasha characters. Tell us about them through actions, words and thoughts. Tell us about them physically, and the environment they're in.

And seriously, use a darn spell checker -.-;
The storyline is good.

However, typos (or possibly mispelling) of words occurred quite often. Your characters need to come to life. I myself like InuYasha, but I'm not a die-hard fan. Be descriptive as much as you can.

Like you said, it is your first fic, but still put more effort. I hope that you edit the first Chapter. I'll be back later to show you your mistakes, but for now Peace Out.

*sounds like his English teacher 0_o;*


You're Illegal
blaziken's_charizard said:
The storyline is good.

However, typos (or possibly mispelling) of words occurred quite often. Your characters need to come to life. I myself like InuYasha, but I'm not a die-hard fan. Be descriptive as much as you can.

Like you said, it is your first fic, but still put more effort. I hope that you edit the first Chapter. I'll be back later to show you your mistakes, but for now Peace Out.

*sounds like his English teacher 0_o;*
thanx for that its my fist fan fic so don't shoot me everyone part 2 is going to be a whole lot better and there will be an edited part of part one ok? o and at the end i put in an amv

The Queen of Darkness

That is a great fan fic shippo
I loved reading it
I would rate it (AT LEAST) 9.5/10 :p
Hurry up with the next bit
Not that im being bossy or anything... :p


Orange Champion
I liked it a lot, the grammical and spelling errors don't bother me much because I see them all the time. But I think it was pretty good overall.

The Queen of Darkness

(This is from shippo, his internet wont let him on serebii...or just this thread..im not sure but he told me to say this to you...)
thank you for that, there will be a part 2 and an edited version of part one ^_^