Waking up after a perplexing dream, i got kidnapped by some spiky haired anime guy with a salamence and told to read some stone tablet that obviously has no meaning to the plot. Then a lamp post randomly turned into a team steam grunt and, being a weakling, attacked an unarmed woman with a doge. Selflessly I stole a Bulbsaur and fought of the doge in a based battle that lil b would have approved of. I was then given the Bulbsaur, naming it in my image mcdangerjr and was randomly brought to a lab were i was given balls to pelt things with. Pretty sure its animal abuse but ok. The i found an Elekid sitting on the table, naming it Spark after a sexy friend, but isnt as based. I decided to carry Spark till i could find a pound, which ofc i cant find one, and proceeded to take a Max Potion from a small child. Braving forth determined to get Spark to a pound, i ventured to Route 1, running into a fat greasy Bidoof, catching it and naming it TCR for lolz. Upon closer inspection, the Bidoof was revealed to be calm nature, furthering its uselessness. After some grinding, i noticed something stuck in the grease of Bidoof, noticing it used its grease to Pick Up items. After an epic quest through route one of based hits at -4 accuracy without a single miss, i arrived at the city i was brought to. After searching unsuccessfully for my kidnapper, i found a safari zone, trying two areas in one while hoping for a based doge of my own found a weed with feet, catching the oddish and naming it MMS while a Drilbur that the pokedex is convinced is Hoot-Hoot was captured in the other, being named Turbo. Our day ends here as i shove my fake based pokemon into a box to die of starvation.
Continuing, we made off to route 2 or 3, w/e the fk it is, were wading through the grass large slimy frog with a sweaty pikachu shirt on. My training was all for this moment, to fight the smogonite, Lizardman. Swiftly Spark attacked with quick attack, astonishing the beast who got shocked with Static electricity, rendering it unable to move. Grabbing a pokeball, i threw it at the slimy monster, the ball getting stuck in the slime slightly before it clicked open, capturing the beast. The grinding ensued till the moment Spark training him so i can get more money from a buyer or the pound, went against a Crogunk. Slapping mud at Spark, he blinded him, causing spark to miss three times. Then, the next slap hit Spark square in the face, large rocks dug into his skin and he collapsed, dead. After a Jersey style verbal fight with the frog, Turbo did it in with a rapid spin, while carried Sparks lifeless body back to the pokemon center to rot in a box forever. #NeverForget
After depositing the carcass and finishing grinding Turbo, We proceeded down to the beach to see a kid with a sweatshirt on in the middle of summer, who wears a sweat shirt to the beach DX, talking with a fly professor about the flopping fish stranded on the beach dieing. Suddenly one flopped at the professor and he yelled OH dear jesus and curling up like a child. Mimicing the ghost that walked over to me, I rushed to the professers aid, Turbo just dodging a moutain scaling flop before finishing it with a furious swipe. After a short discussion, which I couldnt understand, i was forced back to my town where the professer stalked me, ambushing the fine woman that gave me Bulbsaur with rambling before running away. I chased the creep back to the radio tower were i was forcefully given a tablet with no screen. "What do you want me to do with this," I said before smashing it on the ground. Then he gave me a mouse that shot fire from its back. Excited i took the rodent, cressening him Willie then saw he was adamant nature. Needless to say this fake based poser was shoved in the pc.
Making way to route w/e is next, an adorable cat/doge thing appear and was swiftly captured. Its adorable nature soon won me over and began grinding zero before an evil Pidove brutially murdered it with a well placed quick attack. Drying the tears, I dragged the body and shoved it next to spark, ignoring the smell and trecked onward. Crossing a bridge, some hipster started shouting that a pokemon was drowned, but saving people was to main stream for it. Jumping to action, I saved the rodent from drowned to have Turbo slaughter it. The hipster commented that he could have done that but getting wet is to mainstream and offered to battle. After being vanquished, he wondered off muttering how losing it to mainstream. Progressing, a derpy duck attacked my bag, after the sweet Rare Candies my greasy beaver kept picking up, tho i wasnt suprised with how fat he is, and proceeded to capture it, cressing the derpy duck Dew for his derp moments. After pitching camp for the night, we await morning to progress into the forest.
