"The Tournament" by Blaze Dragon

[Blaze Dragon]

OK, this is my first fanfic, so don´t be bad to me, please, as I had done what I could.
OK, this is the story of a Tournament of double battles, where the most powerful Pokemon Trainers are entering, incluiding Ash, from the Anime; Red, from the Manga, and many more! Two new trainers are in the tournament, two flaming stars who want to win!
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, the characters, or anything on this fanfic, I do own Matias and Gonzalo, though
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Prolouge: the e-mail

I was surfing on Internet when I received an e-mail from a strange location. But, as it said it was from Prof. Oak, I opened it. There said that I was invited to a tournament where only qualified trainers could compete. When I read that, I was thinking of why I was invited, if I was only a rookie. Then I read the people that were going to enter: Ash, Red, Green, Blue, I was about to read the last name when my computer crashed. I heard a voice:

"Matias, what was that sound"

It was my mother. She was going to kill me if she saw this, so I closed my door, sended my Blaziken, and ordered him to seal it with his Flamethrower. Then something touched me, and, frightened, I kicked it

"Aw, why did you done that?"

It was my best friend, Gonzalo. I questioned him why he was in my room, and he said that he recieved an e-mail from Prof. Oak, wanting him to enter in the tournament with me. Gonzalo was a rookie, just like me, and we were friends since primary.

"So, are we entering or not?" He asked

"Maybe we should, but..." I was saying when my mom stopped me.

"You destroyed the computer!..." She was saying when I send my Salamence, to get me and Gon out of there, and we went to the port to go to Roplate Island, on boat, obviously. Very much of my favourite Star Trainers were there, I saw Prof. Gary and I had to know him, but I was interrupted by the captain, who wanted us to know that we were on Roplate, so we descended and went to the application room when we saw Prof. Oak

"Hello Matias, hello Gonzalo, are you entering as a pair, right? He said, with his usual tone

This was something new, I didn´t knew that I had to enter with someone. That´s what I gain for having a crash-exploding computer, I thought, so I asked the Proffesor the rules, so he said them:
-The trainers has to enter as a pair
-Each trainer has to have three Pokemon, so they have 6 on the team
-Each trainer has to have a Double Card, with their ID numbers and Pokemons

"So, we neither have a DC, nor a pair, so what are we going to do?" I asked

"I thought you´re smart, we are a pair, and I have our DC here" Gonzalo said, leaving me as a dumb

The card was red, with our photos and our Pokemon. I had Blaziken, Ludicolo and Salamence, while Gonzalo had Lanturn, Skarmory and Porygon 2.

"Other of my pupils entering the tournament, I´m so proud of myself" Prof. Oak thought

We entered the Colloseum, Gonzalo was excited while I was nervous, the first battle was: Rookie Trainers Matias & Gonzalo VS Coordinators May & Drew, so this wasn´t going to be easy
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Here you have the chapters and links to them by now:
Prolouge: The E-mail
Chapter 1: The Coordinators
Chapter 2: Family Battle (rated PG-13 for bad words)
Special 1: International Internet Day
And, if you really like this fanfic, please, put a link to it and one of this banners so many more people reads it!
Credit (all): Pokemon Elite 2000 (PKMN-S), Arbok of doom (Banners)
Matias Credit: Truedunamis213 for the Trainer Sprite
Gonzalo Credit: Pokefan64 for the Trainer Sprite
Anime Stars Credit: Coronis for the unmixed Misty Sprite, Manyula Master for the Mixed one
Manga StarsCredit: Coronis for Red, Yellow, Pika and Chuchu Sprites
Tournament Stars Credit: Truedunamis213 for the Matias Sprite, Pokefan64 for the Gonzalo one, Coronis for the Red one

 

[.:Ultimate Shroomish:.]

It's great blaze dragon!maybe you should mak an RPG about this I bet it would be a real hit!

 

[Blaze Dragon]

Thanks, next chapter coming tommorrow!
EDIT: sorry, next chapter came today

 

[.:Ultimate Shroomish:.]

I cant wait!!

 

[crobatconey/leafeon lunatic]

wow, very good but it could use some grammer fixing

 

[Blaze Dragon]

Chapter 1: the Coordinators

wow, very good but it could use some grammer fixing

Thanks, and, as I´m not from an English-speaking country, it´s possible that you´re right. Can someone tell me what are the grammar errors?
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EDIT: Chapter 1: The Coordinators

"Brrrrrrrrinnnnnnnnnng. Matias wake up! We´re going to be late!"

"Uh, um, only a minute more" I, half-slept, said, then Gon slapped me

"Hey! Why did you do that! It´s only...12:00AM! We´re going to be late! Run!" I shouted

We ran to the Colloseum, there were columns of people waiting to obtain a seat, we entered. May and Drew were there. Drew watched us with an angry face, and the spectators were shouting at us for demoring Drew and May´s win. Coordinator Team VS Rookie Team was heard on all the place. Drew sent out Masquerain, May sent out Beautifly, Gonzalo sent out Skarmory and I sent out Salamence.

"Hmm, we will win, you´re only rookies" Drew said, in the so common "I am the best" tone

"Drew, don´t be so bad with them" May shouted at him

The battle started, with Drew doing a Hidden Power-Ice Beam-Psybeam combo and May doing a Silver Wind

"Salamence, Protect!" I shouted

"Skarmory, Iron Defense!" Gonzalo ordered

As both of the Coordinator´s attacks were stopped, we had a great opportunity to attack, so we did it

"Let´s do this, use Flamethrower on Beautifly!" I shouted

"Skarmory, Hyper Beam on Masquerain!" Gonzalo shouted

"Masquerain, defend Beautifly ith Hydro Pump!" Drew said

Masquerain was hitted by the Hyper Beam and smashed on the floor, while Beautifly was left a bit dizzy, but without serious damage

"May, focus on the battle!" "May, keep it up!" "May, remember your attacks" the shouts were heared, there were Norman, May´s father; Ash, May´s best friend and Max, May´s younger brother, all wanting give her best.

"For them, I cannot lose! Go Beautifly, use Silver Hurricane!" said May

Beautifly used her Silver Wind-Tornado combo, that smashed all the Pokemon on the field

"We are on the same team May, you know that, right? Because you have fainted my Pokemon!!!" shouted Drew, this time, really angry

"Ups, sorry!" May said, with the dumbest voice you´ve ever heard

With that words, Drew lost and only continued May VS Matias & Gonzalo, both with their Pokemon hurted and tired.

"Now, we can win, Matias use Outrage on Skarmory, now" Gonzalo said

"Umm, that isn´t a good idea, but OK. Salamence, follow Gonzalo orders now!"

Salamence used Outrage on Skarmory, who used Iron Defense to block the damage, but obtain the propulsion (spelling?) to do the Quickest Steel Wing you´ve ever saw, lefting Beautifly KOed.

"The coordinators lost! The winners are Matias & Gonzalo!" the announcer said

"Maybe it will be difficult to beat them, yay! It will be funnier!" said Ash, dumb as always

"You suck!" "Go out of here!" "You cheated!" "Die!" "Leave this to the powerful trainers!" "Buuh!" was heard, no one wanted rookies to win

"Shut up! Flygon use Hyper Beam!" Drew said, killing almost all the spectators "Now, go on, you won fair and square"
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Next match: Family Battles

 

[.:Ultimate Shroomish:.]

heres one error,

Then something touched me, and, frightened, kicked it

 

[Blaze Dragon]

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Chapter 2: Family Battle (PG-13 for some bad words)
It was another day, another match. This time, I wasn´t fighting, so I and Gonzalo left our Pokemon at the Pokemon Center and we went to see the battle. Today, there were battling the Fucsia Ninjas, Koga & Janine and Mossdeep Twins, Tate & Liza. As Psychic was stronger against Poison, the twins had an advantage, but Koga is an Elite Four, so he wasn´t going to be easy.
We sit in our chairs, and the battle began. Koga sent out Venomoth, Janine sent out Crobat, Tate sent out Solrock and Liza sent out Lunatone

"This going to be really easy!" Tate and Liza said, both together "Psychic!"

While the beams were going to crash on the Poison Pokemon, both Ninjas countered

"Agility" both ninjas said, as their Pokemon moved quickly and evaded the attacks

"Our turn, Janine, think wisely. Venomoth, Stun Spore" said Kog, in his quiet, common voice

"OK dad! Crobat, help dad using Air Cutter!" shouted Janine

The Air Cutter sended Stun Spores in both directions, paralyzing both Pokemon, and one quarter of the people who were watching

"Now, to finish! Venomoth, Solar Beam!" Koga said

"Wow, I´m beating a Psychic Type! Crobat, use Giga Drain!" Janine said, happily

As both attacks hit, Solrock fainted because of the Solar Beam while Lunatone kept something of his life, but kept the Paralysis too, and crashed on the floor

"Sis, is all up to you!" Tate said

"Is all up to me" Liza said, at the same time. "Recover, Lunatone!"

Lunatone tried to Recover, without effect, while the ninjas were preparing a final attack.

"Finish it with your Grass Attack!" said both Koga & Janine while their Pokemon re-sended their Solar Beam/Giga Drain

While the attacks were about to crash, someon threw a Parlyze Heal from above and cured Lunatone, who used Recover, and then Endure and Explosion, blocking both attacks and seriously damaging Venomoth and Crobat.

"We won! No exploding Pokemon can survive!" said Janine, in a childish tone

"Grow up, Janine. No rule hasn´t got a loophole" said Koga, leaving Janine very confused

When the smoke cleared, Lunatone was alive and with max health.

"Hahaha! Lunatone used my own combo! Explosion for doing damage+Endure for surviving+Recover for, well, recovering!" said Liza, laughing

"This is going to be far harder than I thought, Janine be prepared for..." Koga was saying, but was interrupted by the judge, formed of:
-Prof. Oak
-Prof. Elm
-Prof. Birch
-Gabby
-TY

"I saw that you cheated, Liza, you used a Paralyz Heal, and items are forbidden on this tournament" Prof Birch said

"Hey, f*cking b*stard, don´t say that of my sis!" said Tate, in an angry voice

"Don´t call f*cking b*stard the Proffesor! He has name, so call it for his last name, B*tch!, oh, I mean, Birch!" said Ruby, his dumbest saying of his entire life

"So, Tata and Liza, you´re disqualified, and Koga and Janine goes to 2nd round" said Prof. Oak

Tate and Liza ran out of the stadium, crying, furious, and cursing. I didn´t believe that she cheated, but I couldn´t do anything.
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Next chapter: coming soon!

 

[Blaze Dragon]

Sorry for Double Posting, but here is another chapter!
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Special 1: International Internet Day
As we had holiday before the next match began, I returned to my house. My mom was waiting for me, very angry because my computer exploded [SPOIL](see Prolouge: The E-mail)[/SPOIL], I saw her and runned away, shouting in fear. I went to Prof. Oak´s lab, entered, and saw the proffesor, Gary and Green there. I went to them.

"Hello Gary, Hello Green, how are you? Proffesor, can you teach me how to battle in this days, before the Tournament continues? Please?" I said, trying to convince him

"Of course, use the computer, go to www.profoakttrainingforroplatetournament/BlazeDragonisthebestandweknowit.com

So I followed Prof.Oak advice and went to the very long Web Page that he said, and, while I was there, I opened the Msn Messenger. Gonzalo was connected.

"Hey Matias, how are you? And how are you using the MM if your computer crashed?" Questioned Gonzalo

"I´m fine, and using Proffesor Oak´s computer´. I´m learning a good training on www.profoakttrainingforroplatetournament/BlazeDragonisthebestandweknowit.com" I typed, without typos, or maybe

"Hey, that is great, Internet helped us much, don´t you think? It helped us with our homework, games, Tournament. It helped us very much!" Gonzalo typed

"Yeah, Gonzalo´s right. For that and many more, this day should be liked by everyone, because today is Internet´s day!" Prof. Oak said, happily

"You´re right, gramps, and don´t forget that we leave our Pokemon and Items on there" Gary and Green said

So, all "The Tournament" staff wish you...:

Happy Internet´s Day! And don´t forget to keep reading!
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Really, happy Internet´s Day. Wished by Matias/Blaze Dragon!

 

[armaldo]

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Chapter 2: Family Battle (PG-13 for some bad words)
It was another day, another match. This time, I wasn´t fighting, so I and Gonzalo left our Pokemon at the Pokemon Center and we went to see the battle. Today, there were battling the Fucsia Ninjas, Koga & Janine and Mossdeep Twins, Tate & Liza. As Psychic was stronger against Poison, the twins had an advantage, but Koga is an Elite Four, so he wasn´t going to be easy.
We sit in our chairs, and the battle began. Koga sent out Venomoth, Janine sent out Crobat, Tate sent out Solrock and Liza sent out Lunatone

"This going to be really easy!" Tate and Liza said, both together "Psychic!"

While the beams were going to crash on the Poison Pokemon, both Ninjas countered

"Agility" both ninjas said, as their Pokemon moved quickly and evaded the attacks

"Our turn, Janine, think wisely. Venomoth, Stun Spore" said Kog, in his quiet, common voice

"OK dad! Crobat, help dad using Air Cutter!" shouted Janine

The Air Cutter sended Stun Spores in both directions, paralyzing both Pokemon, and one quarter of the people who were watching

"Now, to finish! Venomoth, Solar Beam!" Koga said

"Wow, I´m beating a Psychic Type! Crobat, use Giga Drain!" Janine said, happily

As both attacks hit, Solrock fainted because of the Solar Beam while Lunatone kept something of his life, but kept the Paralysis too, and crashed on the floor

"Sis, is all up to you!" Tate said

"Is all up to me" Liza said, at the same time. "Recover, Lunatone!"

Lunatone tried to Recover, without effect, while the ninjas were preparing a final attack.

"Finish it with your Grass Attack!" said both Koga & Janine while their Pokemon re-sended their Solar Beam/Giga Drain

While the attacks were about to crash, someon threw a Parlyze Heal from above and cured Lunatone, who used Recover, and then Endure and Explosion, blocking both attacks and seriously damaging Venomoth and Crobat.

"We won! No exploding Pokemon can survive!" said Janine, in a childish tone

"Grow up, Janine. No rule hasn´t got a loophole" said Koga, leaving Janine very confused

When the smoke cleared, Lunatone was alive and with max health.

"Hahaha! Lunatone used my own combo! Explosion for doing damage+Endure for surviving+Recover for, well, recovering!" said Liza, laughing

"This is going to be far harder than I thought, Janine be prepared for..." Koga was saying, but was interrupted by the judge, formed of:
-Prof. Oak
-Prof. Elm
-Prof. Birch
-Gabby
-TY

"I saw that you cheated, Liza, you used a Paralyz Heal, and items are forbidden on this tournament" Prof Birch said

"Hey, f*cking b*stard, don´t say that of my sis!" said Tate, in an angry voice

"Don´t call f*cking b*stard the Proffesor! He has name, so call it for his last name, B*tch!, oh, I mean, Birch!" said Ruby, his dumbest saying of his entire life

"So, Tata and Liza, you´re disqualified, and Koga and Janine goes to 2nd round" said Prof. Oak

Tate and Liza ran out of the stadium, crying, furious, and cursing. I didn´t believe that she cheated, but I couldn´t do anything.
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Next chapter: coming soon!

Heh heh......I've always anticipated the day someone would say B**** instead of Birch.

I love it.

 

[Deathborn_606]

Make longer chapters and I'll give my opinion of this.

 

[Blaze Dragon]

Heh heh......I've always anticipated the day someone would say B**** instead of Birch.

I love it.

Thanks, and it was such an obvious joke, I had to use it. And, if you really love it, see the first post.

Originally posted by fireKP1
Make longer chapters and I'll give my opinion of this.

I think that they are long enough, but, as I´m new to this, the odds are at your side, so I´ll try

 

[Kijuna]

Erk. *puts on gas mask*

You're a rookie, and yet you have Blaziken, Salamence, and Ludicolo, three advanced stage 2 Pokémon. Gonzalo is just friggin' weird. He can read minds and teleoport. Is he a psychic type?!

Your battles are just poorly coreographed. The games may be turn-based, but generally speaking, Pokémon move. Tate and Liza were disqualified just because someone in the audience cheated? That is way too easy to exploit and it's a boarderline plot hole.

Always, always have an editor, especially if English isn't your second language. If you're going to use terms like "primary," it helps to set your location to Britian or wherever they talk like that, because it took me a while to realize you were talking about elementary school.

The anime and the manga are not the same thing.

When you are writing in first person, the character is telling the story. The main character doesn't know what other characters are thinking.

EDIT: Whoever gave this five stars, realize what ratings are for or buy a suicide simulator and get really good at it.

 

[Blaze Dragon]

Erk. *puts on gas mask*

1)You're a rookie, and yet you have Blaziken, Salamence, and Ludicolo, three advanced stage 2 Pokémon. 2)Gonzalo is just friggin' weird. He can read minds and teleoport. Is he a psychic type?!

Your battles are just poorly coreographed. The games may be turn-based, but generally speaking, Pokémon move. Tate and Liza were disqualified just because someone in the audience cheated? That is way too easy to exploit and it's a boarderline plot hole.

Always, always have an editor, especially if English isn't your second language. If you're going to use terms like "primary," it helps to set your location to Britian or wherever they talk like that, because it took me a while to realize you were talking about elementary school.

4)The anime and the manga are not the same thing.

3)When you are writing in first person, the character is telling the story. The main character doesn't know what other characters are thinking.

EDIT: Whoever gave this five stars, realize what ratings are for or buy a suicide simulator and get really good at it.

1)I was going to explain that in the next chapter
2)You do have a point in the teleporting (not teleoporting, and I am the one with the bad grammar?), but where he read minds?
3)Where Matias knew other characters thought?
4)I like both, you´ve something against it?

 

[Kijuna]

1)I was going to explain that in the next chapter
2)You do have a point in the teleporting (not teleoporting, and I am the one with the bad grammar?), but where he read minds?
3)Where Matias knew other characters thought?
4)I like both, you´ve something against it?

2)In chapter 1:
"Other of my pupils entering the tournament, I´m so proud of myself" Prof. Oak thought

Also it was like 2:30 AM, I wasn't really going for perfect spelling. If you wanna be anal, I can pick out about 5 errors in that post.

3) Gonzalo knew that Matias got the e-mail too. Maybe I missed something, but...

4) No, it just doesn't make sense to have two identical characters in the same scene.

 

[Blaze Dragon]

2)In chapter 1:
"Other of my pupils entering the tournament, I´m so proud of myself" Prof. Oak thought

Also it was like 2:30 AM, I wasn't really going for perfect spelling. If you wanna be anal, I can pick out about 5 errors in that post.

3) Gonzalo knew that Matias got the e-mail too. Maybe I missed something, but...

4) No, it just doesn't make sense to have two identical characters in the same scene.

2)OK, you have a point there, but I thought that it would be funny
3)Yep, you missed something, like this:

he said that he recieved an e-mail from Prof. Oak, wanting him to enter in the tournament with me.

4)Is a fanfic, no one sees what is happening

 

[Kijuna]

4)Is a fanfic, no one sees what is happening

One of the goals of a good writer is to make the reader forget that they don't see it through descriptions (which you also lack).

 

[Blaze Dragon]

OK, due to the facts that Kijuna said (thanks, you let me saw that I suck at this) and that I´m not inspired anymore, I´m leaving the fanfic. Maybe I´ll redo it someday

 

[Venastois]

don't give up on it, just be more specific and descriptive. The story is interesting, all you need to do is just get into the battles more, and describe to us what is going on. Remeber, practice makes perfect. No one is trying to bash you, we are here to help with the story, that's all. I hope you write more.

 

[Blaze Dragon]

don't give up on it, just be more specific and descriptive. The story is interesting, all you need to do is just get into the battles more, and describe to us what is going on. Remeber, practice makes perfect. No one is trying to bash you, we are here to help with the story, that's all. I hope you write more.

Thanks, you´re right. I´m not letting my fanfic die. OK, now to the important part (I´m making remakes later but, by now, I´ll continue the story)