the trainer Caislins adventures

[umbre0n 23]

prologue

in jhoto a boy lay on his side hurt in a dark cave
(thats me) his only pokemon beside him, one he had gotten from proffessor
oak when his family had visited kanto, an eevee near evolution from all the fight in the dark fending off the golbats and sandshrews and so on.

i had attempted to save my little friend (who by the way is a male eevee ) when a boulder was rattlibg the hard earth above us and fallen.i saved my companion but the rock smashed my side just barely though but leave me laying on the ground bleeding shivering
in pain.i ran from home on a raft because no one was treating my eevee right.

i eventually found anice sized cave with two entrances.i didnt know the power i was near though.i had fallen into a waterfall with my eevee(i named him darksoul)and ended up in a cave.

suddenly i heard a sound. like a horn yet more quiet and seemingly vital to survival.i forced my self up only to see a giant fish creature fly up out of the water then stay afloat in air.its giant perfect blue eyes sent a shiver up my spine. i felt i was lucky not to be dead yet.

chapter 0ne

then i heard the call again a whistle of calmness yet odd still.i wondered wherre i was.then i remembered the pokedex in my backpack."the new version" elm called it."many features".
i took it out turned flash on then took a picture of the giant best.

then i realized what i had stumbled upon.this great power.
the one and only lugia.;249; i told eevee to stand down.i walked up to it.
extremely gingerely i touched its stomach. it at thaty moment went bezerk
and flew around , i grabbed onto it and after moments noticed nothing of what happened but that i was on it and had grabbed darksoul as it flew out the cave."amazing" i said.

then i noticed the bad. a giant
muscular red eyed possessed machamp standing right there about to grab and snap my neck.since no adults were around or anyone else i figured it would be okay to curse befor i die.so i did.$&%*!

then i kneed it in the crotch slammed my head to its stomach then commanded darksoul "darksoul faint attack!"it smashed the machamp of the giant seabird and then i noticed an incredible fact.i was over my house.

i decided to grab darksoul and jump.only problem is:you dont wanna jump off a legendary pokemon 67feet in the air down onto your house roof.i landed after i broke in through the roof.

 

[Dias]

Well, where to begin.

First of all is length. We have a one-page minimum here for chapter length, so this falls short of that. Secondly, you have no punctuation or capitalization. Well, there's some, but not nearly enough. Sentences begin with capital letters, sentences end with and contain proper punctuation. I have a feeling from the format you just typed this into the reply box, which is not good. You should write in some sort of word processor, preferably one with spell-check. You don't really have any description either, and I could barely make out what was going on. Also, using smilies in fics is also not permitted.

Because this breaks an abundance of rules, I'll have to close it. I suggest you read the Rules and Regulations as well as the Advice threads stickied at the top of this page. Also, take a look into some published books, or at least some well-done fics around these forums, to get a proper look at formatting, punctuation, and sentence structure. You'll need to get a firm grasp on the basics before you can write something solid. Please seek to improve before trying again.