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The Ultimate Project: XD001

R

~*Ratiosu*~

Guest
Well, I'm starting this over again, as last time I started getting a temper for Psychic reviews. Constructive criticism welcome, blah blah blah.

The Ultimate Project
XD001

Prologue

Who…where am I…oh dear Ho-oh, no! I cannot breathe…think…I cannot focus…please help me, someone…I need help…

These words echoed throughout the Pokemon’s mind as it sat in the tube filled with clear liquid. It whined, argued, screamed in its mind for days. It ranted, raved, debated, and pleaded for help as it waited for an answer to its heart’s cries.

But none came.

It sat there, waiting, trying to focus, trying to put its mind on something, anything, that would prove it was alive and there, not dead in the grave with Celebi, but alive and filled with Mew’s lovely energy. It whined, and none heard it. Its brain waves were all recorded; none of them belonged to the Pokemon inside of the experimenting tube. It searched for its memories but there were none there; they did not belong to it anymore.

And still he raved.

Years and years it did not quiet down. It kept raving as though it were being murdered, but it was perfectly safe.

“Boss…it seems to be rising out of control. It’s...watching us,” the aide said as he walked up next to a woman in a long purple dress. The dress was completely purple, with a sort of veil cover from the stomach down, and the waist up like a normal dress, with short sleeves. The woman had long ebony hair which flowed down to her waist. She was keeping it down as of now, however, when she was enraged or impatient she would put it up into a ponytail. She turned around, looking somewhat furious, and her icy blue eyes blazed with intensity.

“Good, it’s supposed to be watching us. Let it see what our power is,” she said, turning back to the tube which held the experiment Pokemon. “Let it see why we have created it, and what it shall do for mankind.”

The aide, who had short brown spiky hair and a long white lab coat, pushed his glasses farther up his nose. He shrugged and turned back to the research lab on the other side of the wall, where they would be studying the Pokemon.

The woman sighed and walked up to the Pokemon. “Are you...really as strong as you seem?” she asked. “Are you really truly the strongest Pokemon in the world? The first one was, but the second one...you. Will you be stronger than the old one?”

The Pokemon seemed to answer her as if it had heard her words. “Oh, Lugia, if only you could see what your son has accomplished...” she turned to the window which was placed on one of the walls in the observation lab. Her bare feet touched the blue tile as she made her way to it, and looked outside. “Lugia...” she muttered, and searched the heavens once more.

She wished he would answer her...that he would help her understand what made Lugia truly as powerful and wonderful and caring as he was...but he would never come to her now. Now she had crossed the line, and he would never come to her and answer her silent prayer. Not now, not ever. He would’ve come had she not done such a terrible act...but now he was mourning for her in the ocean he called home.

Lugia flapped his massive white wings and gained acceleration, riding the ocean currents. <Oh, if only you had not done such a foolish thing...I would’ve come and met you...but now you have gone too far...you have only seen me once but now I shall not ever come to you again. You have fallen from your position...>

Lugia sighed, and closed his eyes. <Oh, Melody...>

Melody closed the window shades, and turned to the Pokemon. “All right, I think it’s time. There is no more time for waiting, we’ll reveal you immediately. Brain waves are OK, right?” Melody asked the lab aide sitting at a desk. The desk had many computers and keyboards on it, each of them blinking like they were trying to tell Melody something.

“Yes, they are, boss. Should I go tell them to drain the fluid?”

Melody nodded, and the aide ran off to the observation room. Now only three or four lights in the white ceiling were on, and they shone above the Pokemon and above Melody. She fingered her PokeBalls, which hung around the dress. Taking one, she enlarged it, and released the Pokemon. In a blinding flash of white, out came a completely white cat-type creature. It had shaggy white fur, which hung in a small pile around its paws. White fur was around its neck, head, and around the spot from which its black tail grew. Out of its black face grew a huge black horn which curved into a C shape, and out of its rear end grew a curved black tail. It fixed its two red eyes onto the experiment, and growled.

“Now now, Deceiver, don’t do that. He’s nice; I would think...” Melody said, placing a hand on the tube again. “By Ho-oh, Deceiver, what has gotten into you?” she asked, looking at the Absol which seemed to dislike the Pokemon even more each second. “You never act like this with any of my other experiments.”

The small black box around the Absol’s neck blinked, and the translator started working. “Melody, I’m telling you it won’t work,” said the Absol. “He’s evil, just look at him!”

The Pokemon which was inside the tube revealed itself. Once invisible, it was not anymore, and Melody knew that the aide had put on the switch for the Pokemon to live...

<Where...where am I?> asked the Pokemon.

Melody smiled. It was beautiful, even more than the old one. This Pokemon had a base color of light purple, which was all over its large body. The tank was, of course, very, very large in order to hold the Pokemon inside. It was in the shape of a dragon, and had a pointed head. It had two dark purple diamond-shaped eyepieces, each of which covered his eyes; however the pupils, iris, and a bit of the white could be seen through the eyepieces. It had a predator’s mouth, with the sharp teeth on the top of the jaw and the straight bottom jaw.

Below its head was a long neck, which was also light purple, and that led down to a large stomach, which was a very dark shade of purple. It had two gigantic light purple wings, with each large feather looking like a finger. It had a long tail, with two dark purple spikes on the top of it. Last of all were the huge feet, which seemed rather like a rabbit’s; bunched up near the stomach and floppy feet.

“You’re in a human research lab,” said Melody, smiling. She had to choose the right words to say; otherwise he would annihilate her without even thinking. “We wish to study you and see your abilities and powers. Do not thrash about so; it will hurt you. Just relax; we will let you out very soon.”

The Pokemon stopped thrashing its feet and wings around, as it had started doing that when it woke up, and calmed down. <But...what is a human?> he asked, unsure of himself and why he was even alive. His voice sounded much like a little child’s. Melody sighed.

“I thought we gave you your memory back, XD001. You used to be a rampaging monster, killing anything in your way. You were strong enough to abduct a ship, the S.S. Libra I presume? But anyway, they erased your memory after you were purified by that blasted Michael,” at this Melody slammed her fist into her hand. “...but then we captured you back and turned you into a wonderful creature. So...would you like to come out and see what your abilities are?” she asked, getting ready to push the big red button that was on the side of the tube.

XD001 thought for a minute, then nodded. <I would like that. Yes...that would be nice. I would like to observe humans up close.>

Melody nodded and pressed the button, draining the tank of its liquid and letting XD001 out. He slowly, very slowly looked around with his large head, and smiled. <Um...how do I walk?> he asked, looking towards Melody. <I am sorry if I do not perform the necessary tasks you want me to, but...>

Melody interrupted. “It’s alright XD001. Don’t worry, I’ll teach you. We also have control over you with our sensors, so...if you cannot master something we have our technology. Anyway, to walk you place your foot onto the ground. Just lift it, and place it down onto the ground.”

XD001 looked towards the high ceiling, hoping he wouldn’t crash through the roof. He started lifting one foot, and it worked. He placed it down on the floor, and it obeyed him. He tried to walk out of the tube but banged his head on the upper part of the tube. <Ahhhh!> he screeched, and proceeded slowly out of the tube. Melody hushed him.

“Settle down, let me see it,” she said, and XD001 lowered his head, still crying a little bit, with tears leaking out of his eyes. A large red mark lay across one eye, and she petted it. “Aw, you’ll be OK. You’re going to have to learn to deal with a lot more than that if you want to be what we made you to be.”

XD001 paid no attention, as he was too busy concentrating on that mark. It coagulated, and a red layer of skin rushed across the bumped spot where there would’ve been a bruise. XD001’s regenerative powers had kicked in.

“Wow, that actually looks good on you,” Melody said. “Now, let’s go harness your powers.”

XD001 followed obediently, not knowing Melody’s true purposes...

~*~
Meh...I needed a character that was close to Lugia so I just picked Melody. If you need help understanding what XD001 Prototype 2’s voice is like, think Alphonse Elric from Full Metal Alchemist. That’s pretty much what he sounds like. *hugs XD001 Prototype 2* Aw, he’s so kawaii….
 
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katiekitten

The Compromise
This is pretty good, ~*Ratiosu*~.

Good leangth, although maybe more description is needed. Good use of Melody, although I wonder what she did... Anyways, I found a small error...

You are fallen from your position...

That sentence does not sound right to me. Replace the are with a "have", or somthing like that. :)

Good job! Sorry for the rubbish review, Me not so in a reviewery mood...
 
R

~*Ratiosu*~

Guest
Fixed it. YAY! YOU ISH TEH RVEIEWERNESS! Sorry, I needed reviews ^_^

Chapter 1 will be up shortly.
 
R

Raichu_Trainer_Chris

Guest
Hm pretty good I guess, but its the first chapter,so I'll give it time. Personally it needs more Raichu.
 
R

~*Ratiosu*~

Guest
LOL...I'll be sure to include Raichu in the fic somewhere.
 
M

mindripper

Guest
not dead in the grave with Celebi, but alive and filled with Mew’s lovely energy

Eh? Celebi died? Sorry if I did not know something which has come to pass. I will correct myself if I see otherwise later in the fic.

It kept raving as though it were being murdered

Is "raving" the correct word? I would not be doing that if I were being murdered. I would be gouging the other fellow's eyes out, or trying to break something!

Oh, if only you had not done such a foolish thing...I would’ve come and met you...but now you have gone too far...you have only seen me once but now I shall not ever come to you again. You have fallen from your position...>

I know that you tried to make this seem emotional, filled with regret, but it did not really come off as such. A little flat.

Hmmm, I am not exactly sure what Melody's intentions are. Not sure if they are good or not. In any case, I feel that your dialogue needs a little work here and there. When Melody is speaking to the Pokemon, she has to give the impression that she is in control, even as she lulls the Pokemon with her gentle words. Otherwise, I am guessing that she must have strayed off the path, and that the Pokemon in question is a genetic experiment of sorts.

Hmm, about using Melody, is that really such a good choice, to deviate so far from her character as we know it? Would that aid or hinder your own logic as you use a character which people know is likely to not behave in such a manner? WOuld you have been better off using a new character and then establishing the character's connections with Lugia from scratch? These are jsut suppositions, and you can ignore them if you wish. Take care, and if you want you can contact me about following chappies. Cheers!
 

Diljabar

Life sucks, man.
You are teh Christian, teh Aspieness, and teh writerness. This is a good one ~*Ratiosu*~, you just are an incredible writer. I can't wait to see Chapter 1!
 
R

~*Ratiosu*~

Guest
^^; About the Celebi thing..the RP that I'm currently in depicts Celebi as being the Grim Reaper, since she is the master of time. So...I'll elaborte on that when I think of how I can do that without confusing people.

Hm...maybe that wasn't the right word (everyone else: YA THINK?)...I need to rethink that.

OK, I'll edit that so it sounds all remoresful and stuff.

Well, I'm not telling whether Melody's intentions are good or not, as that comes later in the story. I do have a good reason for not making her press that she is in control of XD001, so...you know.

I felt that if I made an original character, first of all, way too many people do that and it comes out terrible, so...I didn't do that. Second, because I felt that Melody had established the best connection with Lugia and since XD001 Prototype 2 is a "copy" of Lugia she would be best.

Thanks for reviewing ^_^

EDITNESS-->

Diljabar: Thankies! Though I still don't know what aspie is ^^; Go Christians! Rock on.
 

Diljabar

Life sucks, man.
Diljabar: Thankies! Though I still don't know what aspie is ^^; Go Christians! Rock on.

Aspies are people with Asperger's. Why don't you come to the Alliance?
 
R

~*Ratiosu*~

Guest
Oh yeah! Cool term. I've been to a couple threads with Asperger's Syndrome in them...I'll look for the alliance.

EDITNESS: Found it. Joined.
 
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The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
I found this story and it looked interesting so I gave it a read. This stuff's good. There's some emotion in there plus good description. However, I confused Melody with Venus because she appears to dress similar to the titular Cipher Admin.
 
R

~*Ratiosu*~

Guest
Thanks for reviewing! I intended her to appear as Venus, and then reveal she's actually not a past part of Cipher at all.

I'm working on the next chapter.
 

mewga

Volcano Trainer
Well, I think Lawrence III would be better than Melody. Overall very good, and i'm thinking Melody ain't so straight anymore.
 
R

~*Ratiosu*~

Guest
Lawrence the III will come in sooner or later.

In the movie, Lugia was a 'he', like in the anime' that Lugia in the Ogi Isle was a 'she'. Get it?
 
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