ChloboShoka
Writer
Title: The Weakest Link: Anime Special
Rating: PG
Genre: Crossover, quiz and comedy
Notes: I'm a big fan of the old British quiz show, The Weakest Link hosted by Anne Robinson. Her icy discipline persona with the combination of silly and funny answers. I've seen several fic versions of the show, but never been able to find one that was complete, so I thought I might give it a go.
[img200]http://performancesalesandtraining.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Weakest-link.jpg[/img200]
The Weakest Link: Anime Special
Round One
I've quizzed over fifty thousand contestants over the years. Some were clever and some were stupid. Some would occasionally trip and fall flat on their faces, which is the best part of the job.
I ended my contract four years ago, but for one night only, I decided to reprise my role as The Queen Of Mean for an animated spectacular. A rather nostalgic role if I do say so myself. They were very wise not to settle for an imitation.
The eight contestants about to come on stage have all lead exciting lives but their upbringing is somewhat questionable. The land of the rising sun is known for it's crazy antics and interesting surroundings. I wonder how the team will fare in The Weakest Link, and how many of them have left their brains at home?
They didn't know each other before the show, but one would think they had all been friends since high school with all the laughter in the room. The youngest contestant was even jumping on the coach. I can assure you that when one wants to become rich, they'll be ready to betray everyone. The contestants won't be friends for long.
The head towards the studio and find the podium with their name on. I stand with my back facing the contestants and my eyes on the camera as they play the music. The lights come down on me, it's time to welcome the viewers onto the show.
"Welcome to a special edition of The Weakest Link," I announced. "Welcome to The Weakest Link. Any of the eight players in the studio could win up to ¥20,000,000. They don't know each other, however, if they want the prize money they have to work as a team. BUT seven of them will leave with nothing, as round by round, we lose the player voted the weakest link. Let's meet the team!"
The first contestant was a small boy with a potty mouth. The lights brought the red in his top and dull yellow shorts. He held his hands up in the air and introduced himself. "I'm Shin-Chan!" the boy yelled. "And I'm a ladies man, from Japan." He can't be any older than five years old, but the audience roared with laughter. Personally, I failed to see any humour in children lacking disipline.
The second contestant was a young brunette who appeared to be in her teens. It wouldn't take a rocket science to guess what her favourite colour. Anyone with impaired vision could easily mistake her with a candy floss. "I'm Kari and I'm part of a team called The Digidestined."
"I'm Joey Wheeler and I'm a professional Dueller, and I am the strongest link." the third contestant announced. His voice was dripping in arrogance. I'm wondering where he bought the blue jacket from? It looks like tack brought from a charity shop.
"I'm Hinata and I'm a mother to two gorgeous children." I've heard many things about the fourth contestant. Her marriage to the Seventh Hokage has made her a household name and a pantomime villain in some corners of the Internet. She's still wearing those awful oversized lilac jumpers.
"I'm Luffy, captain of the Straw Hat Pirates and I will be The Pirate King." The fifth red contestant had a red sleeveless shirt with bright yellow buttons.
"I'm Serena," the sixth contestant said. I wouldn't be surprised if she was feeling cold. Her skirt was so cold that you see the colour of her knickers matched the colour of her top. "I'm also known as Sailor Moon, and I'm proud to be a girl-gamer!"
"I'm Dawn," said the seventh contestant. Her pink dress isn't that bad, well it was good enough for a ten-year-old. "I'm a pokemon co-ordinator from Sinnoh."
Last but not least is a ginger dressed in black. And the only one in a kimono. "I'm Ichigo Kurosaki and I'm from Karakura Town." He didn't have much to say about himself. All sorts of people have come on my show including couples, puppets, celebrities, politicians and rappers. This has to be the most eclectic mix of contestants that I have ever met.
"Now the rules, in each round the aim is to answer enough questions correctly to reach and bank your ¥2,000,000 target within the time limit. The fastest way is to create a chain of eight correct answers within the time limit. Get your question wrong, then you break the chain and lose all the money in the chain. But, if you say, bank before a question is asked, the money is safe, however, you start a new chain from scratch. Remember team at the end of the round, only money that's been banked can be taken forward."
It's pretty straight forward. The first round in particular has very easy questions so they should have no problem reaching the target. Let's hope that nobody struggles under the pressure.
"The first round lasts for three minutes," I told the team. I could see the wide eyes and gulps already. "We'll start with the person who's name comes first alphabetically. That's you Dawn. Let's play The Weakest Link!"
I turned my podium over to Dawn in time with the booming music. "The first question is for ¥10,000." The whole room became silent and the lighting and sounds moved with my rhythm. "Start the clock! Dawn, where is Emperor Akihito's official residence?"
Dawn responded in confidence with, "Tokyo Imperial Palace."
"Correct. Ichigo which country is the capital of South Korea?"
"It's Seoul."
"Correct. Shin Chan, "Eh what's up doc?" is a catchphrase by which popular cartoon character?"
"Bugs Bunny!" Shin Chan exclaimed with his right fist in the air.
"Correct! Kari..."
"Bank!"
That's ¥100,000 banked already. "In music, which j-pop singer collaborated with Fergie for the single, That Ain't Cool?"
"Hmm... Koda Kumi?"
"Correct." Jugding by her sigh of relief, it seemed to be a lucky guess. "Joey, in 2015 which Canadian singer released an album called Purpose?
Joey leaned over his podium and snarled, "A douche bag."
I shook my head. "No! Justin Beiber is the correct answer."
"That what he is!" Joey yelled out.
"Hinata, Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta is the full name of which pop singer?"
"Lady Gaga."
"Correct. Luffy, in bingo which number is commonly referred to as two fat ladies?"
Luffy's eyes widened as he pondered for a few moments. "I don't know, is it 88?"
"88 is the correct answer!" I confirmed. "Serena, complete the catchphrase. An apple a day..."
"KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!" Serena replied with her index finger pointing to the ceiling.
"Correct! Dawn, Idina Menzel voiced which character in the Disney film, Frozen?" Surely Dawn must know this one, I thought.
"Queen Elsa."
"Correct." As I turned to Ichigo, I had to resist the urge to smile. I'm surprised this type of question even made it into the mix. As long as Ichigo can get it right, that's all that matters. "Ichigo, what is the first line to Kelis' hit song, Milkshake?
Ichigo pulled his face as he yelled, "MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD!"
"Correct!" You can't knock him down for trying. " Shin Chan, The Netherlands were the first country to legalise what in 2001?"
"Gay marriage!"
I think we're going to get a lot of complaints from homophobic parents. Although it is the correct answer. As I turned over to Kari and banked for the second time. That's ¥1,100,000 banked so far.
"Zigzagoons are common pokemon from which region?" I asked.
"Hoenn."
"Correct. Joey, how many corners does a cube have?"
"Eight."
"Correct!" At least there's one bit of Maths that Joey knows about. "Hinata, what colour cats are considered good luck in Japan and The United Kingdom?"
"Black cats."
"Correct. Luffy, which pirate is the main protagonist in Pirates Of The Caribbean?"
"Ah!" Luffy said. He pointed at me with a grin and said, "It's Captain James Hook."
Everyone laughed at him. "No, Captain Jack Sparrow." Luffy fell onto the podium and buried his head in his hands. "Serena..."
"Bank!"
It really grinds my ears when people bank after the person before them got a question wrong. "Since 1974, a Christmas meal in Japan is typically bought from which American fast food chain?"
"Oh!" Serena grinned. "I know this one. It's KFC."
The lights flashed and the music ceased. "Time is up," I said. "Your answer was correct and in time. In that first round you banked a pathetic ¥1,100,000. You had a chain of nine correct awnsers, so you could have easily reached and banked your ¥2,000,000 target." Everybody looked disappointed. "Who is more of a bidoof then a mewtwo? Who is costing you money? Time to vote off the weakest link!"
Kari is statistically the strongest link as got all her questions right and banked the money for the team. And we all knew that Luffy was the weakest link. Only one can win the money.t.. hings are going to turn nasty after the voting is over.
"Voting over," I said. "Time to reveal who think was the weakest link?" Shin Chan voted for Ichigo; Luffy and Dawn voted for Joey; whilst everyone else voted for Luffy. "Now I think there's some of you that don't quite understand the rules of the game. You thought Ichigo was the weakest link did you Shin Chan?"
"Yeah!" Shin Chan squealed. "Because he keeps stating at your boobs!"
"What's your specialist subject, Shin Chan?" I asked.
"Here's mine!" He pulled down his shorts and flashed his bottom in front of me and to the whole studio. Everyone gasped in horror and I turned away in disgust.
"You can put it away now," I requested, and so he did as he was told. "What would your mother think if she saw you showing your bottom on television?"
"What will mom say?" Shin Chan said whilst pulling up his shorts. "She won't be watching. She'll be watching Desperate Housewives and stuffing her face with chocolate."
"What about your father?" I asked.
"Oh he'll either be at the bar or the brothel."
I turned over to Ichigo. "Do you have anything to add to that, Ichigo?"
"I'd like to change my vote," Ichigo growled.
"It's a bit late for that," I said. "Why Luffy?"
"He was the only one in the round to get an answer wrong."
"Joey got his question wrong too."
"I think he should have been allowed," Ichigo replied. "It was a good answer as far as I'm concerned."
I had enough of looking at Ichigo so I went to Joey. "So you've never heard of Justin Beiber then, Joey?"
"I have!"
"Then why didn't you answer the question correctly?"
"I was trying to be clever."
"It wasn't really," I informed him. "You cost the team money! Why are you getting rid of Luffy?"
"He got the Jack Sparrow question wrong," he roared. "And everybody knows about Jack Sparrow. I love the films."
"Why did you bank when there was nothing to bank?" I asked Serena.
"Oh I don't know." Serena shrugged her shoulders. "Instinct I guess."
"You're a big fan of food I see," I said, referring to the fact that she got her questions about food correctly. Serena didn't take it down too well. She gasped and held onto her slender figure trying to pinch the small amount of fat on her waist.
"Are you trying to say I'm fat?" Serena asked me.
"Not at all, but you got the question right about KFC being eaten to celebrate Christmas."
"Oh... right."
"Why Luffy?"
"Well, nothing personal, he just got a question wrong."
"Luffy," I announced. "The self-proclaimed pirate king who doesn't know the difference between Captain Hook and Captain Sparrow." Luffy's cheeks were red as he hung his head in shame. He was embarrassed, and so he should be. "With four votes you are the weakest link, goodbye!"
Rating: PG
Genre: Crossover, quiz and comedy
Notes: I'm a big fan of the old British quiz show, The Weakest Link hosted by Anne Robinson. Her icy discipline persona with the combination of silly and funny answers. I've seen several fic versions of the show, but never been able to find one that was complete, so I thought I might give it a go.
[img200]http://performancesalesandtraining.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Weakest-link.jpg[/img200]
Shin Chan Nohara from Crayon Shin Chan.
Kari Kamiya from Digimon.
Joey Wheeler from Yu-Gi-Oh.
Hinata Hyuga from Naruto.
Monkey D. Luffy from One Piece.
Serena Tsuki from Sailor Moon.
Dawn Berlitz from Pokemon.
Ichigo from Bleach.
Kari Kamiya from Digimon.
Joey Wheeler from Yu-Gi-Oh.
Hinata Hyuga from Naruto.
Monkey D. Luffy from One Piece.
Serena Tsuki from Sailor Moon.
Dawn Berlitz from Pokemon.
Ichigo from Bleach.
The Weakest Link: Anime Special
Round One
I've quizzed over fifty thousand contestants over the years. Some were clever and some were stupid. Some would occasionally trip and fall flat on their faces, which is the best part of the job.
I ended my contract four years ago, but for one night only, I decided to reprise my role as The Queen Of Mean for an animated spectacular. A rather nostalgic role if I do say so myself. They were very wise not to settle for an imitation.
The eight contestants about to come on stage have all lead exciting lives but their upbringing is somewhat questionable. The land of the rising sun is known for it's crazy antics and interesting surroundings. I wonder how the team will fare in The Weakest Link, and how many of them have left their brains at home?
They didn't know each other before the show, but one would think they had all been friends since high school with all the laughter in the room. The youngest contestant was even jumping on the coach. I can assure you that when one wants to become rich, they'll be ready to betray everyone. The contestants won't be friends for long.
The head towards the studio and find the podium with their name on. I stand with my back facing the contestants and my eyes on the camera as they play the music. The lights come down on me, it's time to welcome the viewers onto the show.
"Welcome to a special edition of The Weakest Link," I announced. "Welcome to The Weakest Link. Any of the eight players in the studio could win up to ¥20,000,000. They don't know each other, however, if they want the prize money they have to work as a team. BUT seven of them will leave with nothing, as round by round, we lose the player voted the weakest link. Let's meet the team!"
The first contestant was a small boy with a potty mouth. The lights brought the red in his top and dull yellow shorts. He held his hands up in the air and introduced himself. "I'm Shin-Chan!" the boy yelled. "And I'm a ladies man, from Japan." He can't be any older than five years old, but the audience roared with laughter. Personally, I failed to see any humour in children lacking disipline.
The second contestant was a young brunette who appeared to be in her teens. It wouldn't take a rocket science to guess what her favourite colour. Anyone with impaired vision could easily mistake her with a candy floss. "I'm Kari and I'm part of a team called The Digidestined."
"I'm Joey Wheeler and I'm a professional Dueller, and I am the strongest link." the third contestant announced. His voice was dripping in arrogance. I'm wondering where he bought the blue jacket from? It looks like tack brought from a charity shop.
"I'm Hinata and I'm a mother to two gorgeous children." I've heard many things about the fourth contestant. Her marriage to the Seventh Hokage has made her a household name and a pantomime villain in some corners of the Internet. She's still wearing those awful oversized lilac jumpers.
"I'm Luffy, captain of the Straw Hat Pirates and I will be The Pirate King." The fifth red contestant had a red sleeveless shirt with bright yellow buttons.
"I'm Serena," the sixth contestant said. I wouldn't be surprised if she was feeling cold. Her skirt was so cold that you see the colour of her knickers matched the colour of her top. "I'm also known as Sailor Moon, and I'm proud to be a girl-gamer!"
"I'm Dawn," said the seventh contestant. Her pink dress isn't that bad, well it was good enough for a ten-year-old. "I'm a pokemon co-ordinator from Sinnoh."
Last but not least is a ginger dressed in black. And the only one in a kimono. "I'm Ichigo Kurosaki and I'm from Karakura Town." He didn't have much to say about himself. All sorts of people have come on my show including couples, puppets, celebrities, politicians and rappers. This has to be the most eclectic mix of contestants that I have ever met.
"Now the rules, in each round the aim is to answer enough questions correctly to reach and bank your ¥2,000,000 target within the time limit. The fastest way is to create a chain of eight correct answers within the time limit. Get your question wrong, then you break the chain and lose all the money in the chain. But, if you say, bank before a question is asked, the money is safe, however, you start a new chain from scratch. Remember team at the end of the round, only money that's been banked can be taken forward."
It's pretty straight forward. The first round in particular has very easy questions so they should have no problem reaching the target. Let's hope that nobody struggles under the pressure.
"The first round lasts for three minutes," I told the team. I could see the wide eyes and gulps already. "We'll start with the person who's name comes first alphabetically. That's you Dawn. Let's play The Weakest Link!"
I turned my podium over to Dawn in time with the booming music. "The first question is for ¥10,000." The whole room became silent and the lighting and sounds moved with my rhythm. "Start the clock! Dawn, where is Emperor Akihito's official residence?"
Dawn responded in confidence with, "Tokyo Imperial Palace."
"Correct. Ichigo which country is the capital of South Korea?"
"It's Seoul."
"Correct. Shin Chan, "Eh what's up doc?" is a catchphrase by which popular cartoon character?"
"Bugs Bunny!" Shin Chan exclaimed with his right fist in the air.
"Correct! Kari..."
"Bank!"
That's ¥100,000 banked already. "In music, which j-pop singer collaborated with Fergie for the single, That Ain't Cool?"
"Hmm... Koda Kumi?"
"Correct." Jugding by her sigh of relief, it seemed to be a lucky guess. "Joey, in 2015 which Canadian singer released an album called Purpose?
Joey leaned over his podium and snarled, "A douche bag."
I shook my head. "No! Justin Beiber is the correct answer."
"That what he is!" Joey yelled out.
"Hinata, Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta is the full name of which pop singer?"
"Lady Gaga."
"Correct. Luffy, in bingo which number is commonly referred to as two fat ladies?"
Luffy's eyes widened as he pondered for a few moments. "I don't know, is it 88?"
"88 is the correct answer!" I confirmed. "Serena, complete the catchphrase. An apple a day..."
"KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!" Serena replied with her index finger pointing to the ceiling.
"Correct! Dawn, Idina Menzel voiced which character in the Disney film, Frozen?" Surely Dawn must know this one, I thought.
"Queen Elsa."
"Correct." As I turned to Ichigo, I had to resist the urge to smile. I'm surprised this type of question even made it into the mix. As long as Ichigo can get it right, that's all that matters. "Ichigo, what is the first line to Kelis' hit song, Milkshake?
Ichigo pulled his face as he yelled, "MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD!"
"Correct!" You can't knock him down for trying. " Shin Chan, The Netherlands were the first country to legalise what in 2001?"
"Gay marriage!"
I think we're going to get a lot of complaints from homophobic parents. Although it is the correct answer. As I turned over to Kari and banked for the second time. That's ¥1,100,000 banked so far.
"Zigzagoons are common pokemon from which region?" I asked.
"Hoenn."
"Correct. Joey, how many corners does a cube have?"
"Eight."
"Correct!" At least there's one bit of Maths that Joey knows about. "Hinata, what colour cats are considered good luck in Japan and The United Kingdom?"
"Black cats."
"Correct. Luffy, which pirate is the main protagonist in Pirates Of The Caribbean?"
"Ah!" Luffy said. He pointed at me with a grin and said, "It's Captain James Hook."
Everyone laughed at him. "No, Captain Jack Sparrow." Luffy fell onto the podium and buried his head in his hands. "Serena..."
"Bank!"
It really grinds my ears when people bank after the person before them got a question wrong. "Since 1974, a Christmas meal in Japan is typically bought from which American fast food chain?"
"Oh!" Serena grinned. "I know this one. It's KFC."
The lights flashed and the music ceased. "Time is up," I said. "Your answer was correct and in time. In that first round you banked a pathetic ¥1,100,000. You had a chain of nine correct awnsers, so you could have easily reached and banked your ¥2,000,000 target." Everybody looked disappointed. "Who is more of a bidoof then a mewtwo? Who is costing you money? Time to vote off the weakest link!"
Kari is statistically the strongest link as got all her questions right and banked the money for the team. And we all knew that Luffy was the weakest link. Only one can win the money.t.. hings are going to turn nasty after the voting is over.
"Voting over," I said. "Time to reveal who think was the weakest link?" Shin Chan voted for Ichigo; Luffy and Dawn voted for Joey; whilst everyone else voted for Luffy. "Now I think there's some of you that don't quite understand the rules of the game. You thought Ichigo was the weakest link did you Shin Chan?"
"Yeah!" Shin Chan squealed. "Because he keeps stating at your boobs!"
"What's your specialist subject, Shin Chan?" I asked.
"Here's mine!" He pulled down his shorts and flashed his bottom in front of me and to the whole studio. Everyone gasped in horror and I turned away in disgust.
"You can put it away now," I requested, and so he did as he was told. "What would your mother think if she saw you showing your bottom on television?"
"What will mom say?" Shin Chan said whilst pulling up his shorts. "She won't be watching. She'll be watching Desperate Housewives and stuffing her face with chocolate."
"What about your father?" I asked.
"Oh he'll either be at the bar or the brothel."
I turned over to Ichigo. "Do you have anything to add to that, Ichigo?"
"I'd like to change my vote," Ichigo growled.
"It's a bit late for that," I said. "Why Luffy?"
"He was the only one in the round to get an answer wrong."
"Joey got his question wrong too."
"I think he should have been allowed," Ichigo replied. "It was a good answer as far as I'm concerned."
I had enough of looking at Ichigo so I went to Joey. "So you've never heard of Justin Beiber then, Joey?"
"I have!"
"Then why didn't you answer the question correctly?"
"I was trying to be clever."
"It wasn't really," I informed him. "You cost the team money! Why are you getting rid of Luffy?"
"He got the Jack Sparrow question wrong," he roared. "And everybody knows about Jack Sparrow. I love the films."
"Why did you bank when there was nothing to bank?" I asked Serena.
"Oh I don't know." Serena shrugged her shoulders. "Instinct I guess."
"You're a big fan of food I see," I said, referring to the fact that she got her questions about food correctly. Serena didn't take it down too well. She gasped and held onto her slender figure trying to pinch the small amount of fat on her waist.
"Are you trying to say I'm fat?" Serena asked me.
"Not at all, but you got the question right about KFC being eaten to celebrate Christmas."
"Oh... right."
"Why Luffy?"
"Well, nothing personal, he just got a question wrong."
"Luffy," I announced. "The self-proclaimed pirate king who doesn't know the difference between Captain Hook and Captain Sparrow." Luffy's cheeks were red as he hung his head in shame. He was embarrassed, and so he should be. "With four votes you are the weakest link, goodbye!"
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